All language subtitles for The Sweeney S1E3 Thin Ice 25FPS

Thank you.

Sorry, love.

And another thing

I want none of this 'out
of sight, out of mind'.

Just because I'm not in England
does not mean I cannot be reached.

I want none of this 'English
Channel' mentality.

The telephone lines do not stop at Dover.

Furthermore, all executive
decisions will be referred to me

and I'm relying on you, Morgan,
to make sure they are.

Five minutes we're off, Mr Bishop.

Who are you?

- Your steward, sir.
- Out!

I want you to phone me
on the hour, every hour

just like a weather report, understand?

Yes, Mr Bishop.

What about Archimedes?

He's in the dog's home, sir.

Tragic.

Absolutely tragic, they won't
allow a poor animal on a

lousy boat like this. I mean it's not, er,

not exactly the 'Queen Mary' is it?

Well, you wanted to go out this way, sir

- and the shipping line-
- I know, I know.

Have you inspected it?

The ship?

You fool - the dog's home!

Of course, sir.

It's a good one.

I don't want good, I want the best!

As far as I'm concerned,
the major source of

solar radiation shines
out of that dog's-

The gangway's near off, sir.

Out!

The boys and I

as a token of our respect

just a little goodbye present.

What do I want with a present?

'Ere, you trying to bury me?

Now remember

tell the boys I'll always be watching them

at the first sign of disloyalty,
the first hint of double crossing

they can take my

A doggie bowl!

We had it made up at Aspreys.

Look.

It's got his name on the
side, 'Archimedes'.

Yeah

tell the boys if any of
them step out of line,

they'll be sent to my
punishment people.

That's a very kind thought, Morgan.

Sir, unless you're coming with us.

Goodbye, Mr Bishop.

Au revoir. Remember, this
is only a tactical withdraw.

'He who hits and runs away,
lives to fight another day'.

Yes, sir.

Archimedes, I take this as
a tribute to the both of us.

Holts!

Holts shipping.

This is Detective Inspector
Regan here - Scotland Yard.

I'm making enquiries about
a man named Bishop

no, not all the phones at
Scotland Yard are coin operated.

The Commissioner shares a
party line with the Queen.

No, I'm afraid I cannot tell you the
serial number of my warrant card.

Look, Bishop may be
travelling on the 'Subad'.

She sailed already?

Yeah.

Yeah, well, thanks for
your kind co-operation.

She sailed.

Hello, guv. They're in there.

Oh, come on, Moose.

Don't waste my time.

I know you know.

You know I know you know
so tell us where he's gone.

I'm asking you once again,
where is Mr Bishop?

He's gone, boss.

I know he's gone.
But where has he gone?

He just left, boss.

Ah, he didn't just leave, did he'?

He paid off the servants, he put covers
on the furniture. He sold his Rolls Royce.

He's even put the dog into a
home. Now all that takes time.

One minute he was here,
the next minute he was gone.

But where, man, where?

He left no forwarding address.

Alright, take him in.

I'll sort out the charges later.

- Charges, boss?
- Yes, Moose. Charges.

- Hello, Mr Regan.
- Hello, Moose.

Pringle'll get nothing out of him.

Mr Pringle.

- What about Bishop?
- Clean away.

Find out where the dog's been parked.
Keep and eye on it.

The dog?

Superintendent!

Thank you and goodnight.

I found this in the milk bottle.

Written in his own hand.

No more milk.

Yeah, well he's right isn't he?

Where he's going, it will be all
champers and chips

- birds with no bras and all that.
- Find where Pringle's taken the Moose.

Use your charm. Go down to the
cells and find out what he knows.

Okay, guv.

Play Pringle up as a heavy.

Now promise him anything you like but
try and get some kind of information.

Right.

- Don't you ever knock?
- Captain's compliments, sir.

I always make a point, steward, of
never letting alcohol touch my lips

- until we're out of territorial waters.
- We are, sir

or we couldn't have open
the Bond, could we?

Oh well, in that case er,
why don't you join me?

The nice thing about a cruise ship
is the cheapness of the booze.

The nice thing about this
ship is that it's not British.

I want to talk to you about Bishop, guv.

It would appear that he's clean away.

Mr Pringle's worry now.

Mr Pringle is Fraud Squad.

He's been given carte blanche.

He's not a copper, he's an accountant.

Aren't we all?

He didn't join the force, he fell through
the hole in the Inland Revenue.

Well that's the future, Jack.

It will be if we don't pull
our fingers out, guv.

You're supposed to keep
academics like Pringle off my back.

Why aren't you in the canteen sticking
knives between his shoulder blades?

Y'know somewhere out there
beyond the Post Office Tower

there is a vast committee called Pringle

constantly regenerating itself.

Yeah, well let's be practical.

Alright.

I'll arrange a meeting between you, Pringle
and Maynon, The Commander's away sick.

It won't do you any good.

You'll be eaten alive.

Alright Jack, what's the grievance?

For the last two years, members of
my squad have been investigating Bishop

with a view to finding something
big enough to bury him.

We conducted the enquiries
in the usual painstaking manner

that is from the ground downwards.

At the same time, we had over one
hundred other cases on our books

so our resources were limited.

Nevertheless, we were just
about to put something together

when I get the news that
Bishop has fled the country

and I am informed that the Superintendent
is about to take over the enquiry

and the Squad is being told to back off.

As I understand it, over the past

five years neither your squad,
nor any other element in the Job

has been able to obtain
anything that looked

remotely like a conviction
against Bishop.

I was brought in because
of his activities in the City.

He was buying into companies where
his presence represented a threat.

He has recently obtained
interests in the Bantram Group.

This group has interests in
small arms manufacture

security companies and, Poperjays,
their printers are actually under contract

to the Bank of England.

This isn't the Open University, sir.
We don't need a lecture.

My brief came from the
Assistant Commissioner of Crime.

- In plain and simple language, it was to-
- To warn Bishop off.

That was not the brief.

That was the result.

Bishop has done a bunk.
And two years of

painstaking enquiries
have gone down the drain

because someone in the City over-reacted
when he started making waves.

Oh, I don't know.

The only other conclusion
is that you blew it.

It is a fact that now
he has left the country

he's no longer a threat to Bantram.

It is also a fact that
now he has left the

country we have the problem
of getting him back.

I don't think we really
want him back, do we?

You may not want him back, sir. But I do.

That man has personally
sliced people into

pieces and canned them
at his plant at Croydon.

You think I'm joking?

That's wild talk, Jack.

I want him back.

And how are you going to do that?

Any way I can.

You're on thin ice, Regan.

The Norfolk Police have got a
lead on the Greenberg killing.

They've arrested Charlie Norton.

Forget Bishop.

Hand your files and information
to the Superintendent.

I want you to go up there and
interrogate Charlie Norton.

Yes, sir.

Squad office, please love.

How d'you get on?

They destroyed me.

- Well, I did warn you
- They've picked up Charlie Norton.

I get stuck right into one case and
another comes up, right out of the past.

It's just my luck. Regan.

You're not going to give
up as easily, are you?

Hello George.

Hello, guv. I've got the Moose.

- What happened?
- Pringle let him go, didn't he?

Great.

Yeah, so I nicked him again.

Where are you?

- Downstairs.
- What do you mean downstairs?

In the car park.

You're breaking all the
rules today aren't you?

Yeah.

Well what d'you want me to do with him?
We're a bit exposed down here.

Keep him out of sight till six,
then bring him up.

We've got to hang on a bit, Moose.

Do you mind me asking where we are?

Scotland Yard.

Out of the frying pan
into the fire, so to speak.

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

You're in Mr Regan's hands now.

Getting popular aren't I?

Well, 'popular' isn't the word I'd use.

You see we live in a world
of supply and demand

and you are in demand.

Like a toilet roll.

If you say so, Moose.

You were right, guv.

Bishop's on the 'Subad'
heading for the Med.

- There's been two more calls.
- Yeah?

The Norfolk Constabulary called

they're awaiting your confirmation
of when you're going up there.

Tomorrow night. And you and
Carter will also be coming along.

- Me, guv?
- Yeah, that's right.

- But it's my night off tomorrow.
- Was. I'm shorthanded. Anything else?

Mr Pringle's office.

They called to say that
Sergeant Carter has

re-arrested Moose and
they're not well pleased.

Well, I didn't expect they would be.

What is this, may I ask?

It's an electronic surveillance device.

It has been used by Mr
Haskins to chart the

approach of the tea trolley
for the last week.

Which is why we've been
getting our tea hot for a change.

- Oh I see. Well what you doing with it?
- Look, I know it's irregular

but I'm going to see the Moose in the
office. When he leaves, I want him tailed.

So get out there quick.

Hello, Mr Mathews.

Hello, Moose.

- Nice offices you got here.
- Come on.

First time I've ever seen them.

Come in, Moose.

Sit down.

Mr Pringle's going to put
you away for a long time.

He's got nothing on me.

- He practically told me as much.
- He'll find something.

Yeah, he's a very persistent
man, the Superintendent.

Sergeant, canteen's open.
You must be hungry.

Er, you want anything, guv?

Moose?

Bring him up a bacon roll.
You like two?

Two bacon rolls.

Carter's a good fella.

Yes, we had a nice
chat coming up in the car.

Loyal, but thick.

- Thick?
- Thick!

However, loyalty's a rare
thing these days innit?

That's why I appreciate
your loyalty to Mr Bishop.

- You do?
- I understand it.

- You understand what?
- Your loyalty.

After all, you've been with
him seven years, isn't it?

He told me so himself.

- Mr Bishop?
- Yeah.

Y'know how much he trusted you.

'Jack', he said to me

'apart from you, there's only
one other person I really trust'.

- You?
- Me.

Me and you?

Oh, of course that was some time ago.

Before all this blew up.

He's had some bad words to
say about you, Mr Regan. Of late.

Of course.

'Cos I'm in the invidious
situation, aren't I?

I'm conducting the flaming
investigation against him, aren't I?

So all I could do was
warn him about Pringle

and tell him when it was
essential that he get out.

Course, where you were concerned
he didn't think Pringle would arrest you

let alone put up these conspiracy charges.

What charges? He let me go.

Mr Bishop gave me orders that if
Pringle was to take any liberties

I was to get you out of his clutches.

And I have.

You shouldn't have done that, Mr Regan.

- You'll get into trouble.
- Don't you worry Moose.

But listen, Sergeant Carter will be
back in a minute with the bacon rolls.

So er, if we're going to work out
how we can help Mr Bishop.

We haven't much time.

Now what about his dog?
ls there anything we can do there?

It stands to reason, doesn't it.

It was Charlie Norton.

The deceased was doing Charlie's wife.

The gun was stiff with Charlie's prints

and the suspect drives
off in Charlie's car.

Well it stands to reason doesn't it.

It was Charlie who robbed him.

I'd have thought
the case was proved, me.

You're a genius, Matt.

These reports,
these reports, these reports.

These reports connect
Bishop with the filling stations.

It seems that he was trying to
move in on the independents.

Yes I know that, Inspector.

This one in particular, Shepherd's Bush.

One of his companies bought into the
service station through a dummy partner.

A certain amount of violence was used.

Hm, but no court proceedings.

The owners didn't have a leg
to stand on. Literally speaking.

Next.

This is our
personal file on Bishop.

Backgrounds, habits and associates.

He's very fond of Gilbert and Sullivan.

Gilbert and Sullivan?

And, of course, dogs.

Dogs are his -

Next.

This is the stolen car file.

He was involved in exporting
stolen cars to Cyprus.

Well we're not going to get
him on anything like that.

I mean the Director of
Public Prosecutions isn't.

There's enough here to
go to the DPP. with.

What for?

Extradition.

Next?

Roberts and Leicester, theatrical agents.

A funny thing happened to Roberts
on his way to the theatre one night

he fell down a hole.

What would Bishop want
with a theatrical agency?

Cash flow.

Next?

Next - next - next

Course, I can't believe
that Charlie did this all on his own.

Why not?

He's got pride like the rest of us.

Look, if someone was having it away with
your wife and stealing your life savings

well you wouldn't write to the
papers about it, would you?

No.

No. Neither did Charlie.

So he got out his Holland and Holland
and blew the geezer's head off.

It's a classic case of 'Crime Passionel'.

Did anyone re-call Thorpe?

From the dog's home you mean?

Yeah, you did put Thorpe
onto the kennels, didn't you?

Well yeah, but you haven't
told me to take him off.

I know I didn't tell you to -
but I can't think of everything can I?

Well, I'm sorry guv. I just got so
carried away with this caper.

Well what were your last
instructions to him?

Well, wait there till he was relieved.

How long ago was that?

Three days.

There are some times, George

when I believe you are incapable
of looking after a potted plant.

Let alone personnel!

Sorry, guv.

Oscar two three.

No, Inspector Regan's in Norfolk.

Oh, it's you Thorpe, why
didn't you say so?

Er, hang on, there's a message for you.

Yes, it says don't worry
- help is on the way.

I've been here for three days.

I'm starving.

I need a fresh change of clothes.

I'm dying of exposure, sir.

Yes well it says if you
need any help, try and

contact a D.S. Gallagher
at the local division.

He says he is the only
human being around there.

Thank you, sir.

Yes?

I'm looking for D.S. Gallagher.

Detective Sergeant
Gallagher's on sick leave.

Are there any other human
beings in the building?

No.

Hello, Mr Carter.

- Charlie.
- Where's Mr Regan?

Having dinner. Take a seat.

Am I on the front page?

You're on page 3 and
there's not even a picture.

I got my hair cut specially -
they came along and took hundreds.

Well, maybe they're saving
you for the Sundays.

You tell me the secret, Charlie.

Did you shoot him?

If you don't mind, sir.

I'll save my breath until Mr Regan arrives.

- You're late.
- Has the copper gone?

- Yes, he's gone.
- I thought he'd never go.

Yeah well, he's bound to be back,
so we'll have to work fast.

Hey, how will I know which is Archimedes?

By the spikes on his collar.

And how will I calm him down?
Stop him from barking?

Give him this sweater.

It's one of his master's. He loves it.

- That'll do the trick?
- Should do.

Take these.

'Ere, what are they?

Tranquillisers.

- For me?
- No! For the dog.

These are for you.

What are they?

Reds.

You've got a long
drive ahead of you.

It was the night I got out.
I came home -

Is this your opening 'Parl'?
'It was the night I got out'.

Was that what I said?

Yeah, come on, Charlie,
you can do better than that.

Where were you the night you came out?

I was on the town, wasn't I - celebrating.

And I came home and
there she was in bed.

Lying there with nothing
on but a mink coat.

God, I said.
Where did you get that?

Alright, Charlie skip that bit.

Tell us what happened
on the night of the killing.

I'm leading up to it.

Yeah, like a Nineteenth Century
novelist - 300 boring pages.

When did you shoot him?

On the thirteenth.
But this was only the tenth.

Well skip the next two days.

I have no intention of
skipping the next two days.

I heard he was living up here in
Norfolk and without thinking about it

I was driving up here with
a shooter in the boot.

How it got there, I'll never know.

You put it there, Charlie.

I suppose I must have done.

Regan.

It just came to me that I had to kill him.

It was 'Crime Passionel', you might say.

I was calm but there was this
horrible force squirming up inside me.

There was a four letter
word frothing from my lips.

What do you mean the dog is gone?

- 'Kill' - that was the word.
- Who?

'Kill! Kill!'

Oh turn it off, Charles.
Just for one moment.

I'm giving it to you straight-
I had to kill him. 'Kill!'

Are you telling me it clipped its
way through a barbed wire fence.

It's a bleeding dog, Thorpe.

Next you'll be saying it was all
blacked up with a beret on its head.

'Kill!'

Yeah, I want you to find it at once!

Oh, where was I?

You said, 'Kill, Kill, Kill, Kill!'

Now listen, pull in the owner of that home.

He's what?

A major in the what?

Well, you outrank him, son.

Don't take any lip from the army.

I'll be down there tomorrow.

Yeah, now listen get onto Superintendent
Pringle this is his pigeon.

No, don't wait till the
morning. Wake him up.

I can't hear myself think.

- This is an important moment.
- Sorry Charles.

The dog's got out.

- Well, what do you know?
- But the best bit's have yet to come.

Yes, well I'm sorry Charlie.

I'll read it in the Sundays.
I'm afraid I've got to go back to London.

But I'm doing a favour, Mr Regan.

I'm saving you thousands of
pounds of tax payer's money.

Yeah, well you'd have
made it a lot easier

Charlie, if you'd surrendered
to the first priest

fireman, or police
constable you came across

or better still

you could have got a train down to London.

We'd have reimbursed the fare and er

you could have worked out a whole
story, between you, your brief

and the papers right there in my office.

Take over, will you George?

And keep the paragraphs short.

It was the night I got out -
it was lashing down with rain.

It's been made to look like an accident.

A dozen escaped.
But it was an outside job.

The lock to the
compounds been forced.

Hm. Where's the owner?

Rounding the rest of them up.

Evidently they went for some sheep.

Oh, well erm, Eddie

erm would you go back to the
transport cafe and get us some

I don't know, egg sandwiches and
fill the thermos. You take sugar?

- Yes, guv.
- And sugar - if there's any.

This is the local law.

Not very co-operative.

Good morning, sir. Are you the
owner of this establishment?

No. I'm Detective Superintendent
Pringle. Scotland Yard.

Yes, I'm the Sergeant from Hunstanton.

Oh good, well look, I want you
to get on to your headquarters

and ask them to send a photographer
up here as soon as possible.

Oh, and I want whatever strength
you've got on your C.l.D.

There hasn't been a murder, has there?

There will be if you don't get a move on.

Hello George.

- Check out these contacts.
- Righto, guv.

How's it going?

He hasn't said a word, guv.

Er he keeps going over the
same old story, but then

when he gets to the important
bit just he blanks up.

I feel like giving him a kicking.

Be patient he needs to be loved.

Regan?

- Good morning Superintendent.
- The dog's gone.

Yes, so my D.C. told me.

So what was the idea of
staking the place out?

I wanted an eye kept on it.

For what purpose? You failed
to prevent the dog from going.

If we ever get Bishop
before a jury a little

lark like this could
jeopardise the whole case.

My intention was simple
- to follow the dog.

Because it's destination is
where Bishop's going to be.

Oh...that's why you
had Moose re-arrested.

Yes.

Did you put a tail on him?

- Yes.
- and?

We lost him.

For the last time back off will you, Regan.
This is my case, remember.

You were saying, George?

Cheers

The owner's back, sir.

Did my driver say anything
about the tracks?

144's. High speed and for a heavy car.

God

they could be 200 miles away by now.

We could put out an all ports call, sir?

For a dog?

They'd never wear it.
Everything costs money these days -

- Get 'em to go over this area again, eh.
- Yes, guv.

Good.

I had an Electronic
Surveillance Device on test.

it's disappeared. Mathews
said you took it.

Yeah, that's right guv. I locked it on the
bottom of Moose's Range Rover.

Huh. Alright. Where's the Range Rover now?

Well that's the point. It's disappeared

right here.

- With my E.S.D.
- That's right, guv.

You've lost my E.S.D. Have you any
idea how much those things cost?

Wait a minute I haven't lost it, guv'nor.
It lost itself.

After all, it's supposed to be unloseable.

That's the whole point
of the machine, innit?

Gives off these little bleeps
so that you can tell where it's going.

They cost a fortune.

Look, we were asked to evaluate it.

Well, I have just evaluated it.

In fact, I can give you
my considered verdict:

it's useless.

We've lost Moose and the
dog, and the machine.

It was working perfectly
well on the tea trolley.

Well, that's life.

Back to the drawing board, innit?

See, the thing is Stanley.

What you've got to realise
is this is temporary

see. I'm here only
for a short time.

Oh but Jerry, I've told you
- it's already too long.

The bank are getting nervous.

They see this... holiday...
as a sign of weakness.

An admission of guilt, you might say.

Stanley I just got here.

Look Jerry, you are about to go public.

The shares in your company
are ready for issue.

Now merchant banks and

brokers of repute are
ready to launch you into a new future

and you need it.

Agreed Stanley.

But the moment I decide to
go straight, I am persecuted.

By malicious elements who see
me as as some threat to their own futures.

Exactly.

So you must come back and fight.

If I come back certian irresponsible
men will want to put me in jail.

Such as who?

Inspector Regan for one.

- Oh there's nothing he can hit you with.
- Don't underestimate Regan.

He can manufacture a case.
He's done it before.

Oh no - Regan's not in the running.

No it's Pringle from now
on and he's a nobody.

Now that too is a mistake.

Now Regan is so bent he cannot
be straightened, but Pringle -

Pringle's a nobody who
wants to be a somebody.

Now he's a head hunter. And I don't
want my bonce in his trophy room.

What you've got to realise
Stan is that these

guys are paid to destroy
people like you

and me!

They're in the demolition business.
Don't underestimate them.

"What comes up, must go down."

That's their motto.

But Jerry, I beg you

you're fighting shadows!

I'll stay here till
everybody's been sweetened.

I have my girl, my flowers and soon, I hope

my dog.

What more can a man need this
side of a million dollars?

Cables for you Jerry.

Hello.

You fly home, Stanley
- take care of things.

Alright, Jerry. But don't
say I haven't warned you.

"Bye bye.
-Bye.

Paragraph.

Furthermore, I know
nothing about the escape

of Bishop's dog from
the Salthouse Dog Home

other than what I've read in
Detective Constable Thorpe's report.

Paragraph.

It was unfortunate that D.C. Thorpe was
not relieved for three days.

This was due to an oversight.

Paragraph.

On the other hand

Superintendent Pringle
had at no time indicated

any intention of placing the
dog's home under observation

so I do not understand his complaint.

Under his charge the dog would
have escaped more easily

and probably sooner, in fact

just like his master did.

Mark one copy for the Commander
and one for Mr Pringle.

- Is that all?
- Yeah.

Tell me

I don't suppose you go
out with married men?

Only for money. How many
copies for the files?

Two thousand seven hundred and fifty.

That's him!

on

Wait for me!

Archi - come here!

Are you sure Jerry?

I know him. It's him.

Where's the tin opener?

You're not going to give him tinned meat?

I don't trust the steak out here.

Well we eat it!

And only Evian for the first week.
You can't trust the water either.

He he he. Come on boy. He he he he.

Woah. Come on boy, Steady!

Can you hear him?

Listen to him.

Come here.

Hello, Miss.

A toast.

Hello, boss.

A toast - to weary travellers -

Welcome to France

here have a champers and

That's not my dog!

Porter! It's alright.
I'll take him.

Cheers.

Hello, Moose.

Been to a football match?

What's going on?

Have a nice flight?

Terrible.

Are you nicking me again?

Dunno.

Where've you been?

France.

Delivering a dog?

- The wrong bloody one, wasn't it?
- Oh dear.

There you go.

What about my luggage?

You haven't got any.

Hello, Moose.

Hello, Mr Regan.

I gave him my trust.

Treated him like a brother.

It was not a mistake.

How could it be a mistake?

He arrived here with that
dog wearing HIS collar.

I'm not upset, Henry.

I merely strangled the
hound with my bare hands.

Eh, no it's not a felony here no.

No. They eat them here Henry,

Yeah, they eat them here. Yes.

Now look, I want you to find
out what happened to Achimedes.

No - I do not recall
what happened to Moose.

Yeah, yeah - he got away. Yes,
yes - he caught the plane.

Now look, this is very important Henry.

What - He- Henry? Hello?

Henry? Hello He- Henry? Hello?

I would have thought someone
with your expertise -

They're all teeth to me.

Well how'd you recognise
him in the first place?

By the spikes on his collar.

- You mean someone changed the collar?
- Not someone

you did.

Not me.

It was Mr Pringle.

I told you not to trust him.

I wouldn't pull a stunt like that.

Whoever did, it was evil,

Mr Bishop nearly killed me.

Not to worry. He had you insured.

Who did?

Mr Pringle.

You're putting me on.

Don't be daft. How'd Bishop take it?

Bad. He attacked me.

Then the dog went for him

and he went berserk.

He got hold of the dog in
some sort of Judo hold

and the two went rolling around the floor,
biting each other. 'Grr! Grr!'

It were terrible.

Hello, hello, operator? I want London.

Quatre heures?

Allo pronto. This is very very urgent.

Come here. Sit down.

Sit down. Sit down!

Hold on to this phone.

The minute you get a reply get
hold of Sir Basil, right?

Call him at the Golf club if necessary.
Ask him to right me back here at

6 O'clock. I'm going to the
town to send some cables.

Hello? Hello?

Alright. Where is he?

- Who, sir?
- Mr Regan.

Oh, Special enquiries, sir.

And the Moose?

Well I don't know, sir.

Inspector Regan picked
him up at the airport

didn't he - at 10:00
a.m this morning.

Did he sir? Excuse me.

And where's the dog?

What dog?

Bishop's dog.

- I thought he was in France.
- Bishop's in France but his dog isn't.

- Well what do you mean sir?
- I mean that somebody switched the dogs.

Now listen, I want the
Moose, Inspector Regan

and the right dog. In
that order, understand?

Well, I'll leave a message
that you called, sir.

It's about the best I can do.

Archimedes!

Oi!

Here boy - Come on!

Archimedes!

Basil - Basil I have a problem.

My d09 '

Has Stanley been?

Yes - well look, the
situation is like this.

Yeah, look. Never mind the switch for
the moment, that can wait till later on.

Look Basil, what I want from -

What I want from you, Basil,
is a complete rundown on

the law concerning the
Metropolitan Police and my dog.

How can the police hold my dog?

What are their powers of
arrest concerning animals?

What has my dog done to de --

Course they've got him! Who else has?

Of course they'll deny it.

They always deny it, don't they?

Come on, Moose.

Just for me?

I tried so hard.

I know Moose.

It would have been worse but for that dog.

He really loved you, that dog. Didn't he?

Yes

he saved my life.

And Mr Bishop strangled him
with his bare hands, eh?

Here.

'There but for the grace of God',
I thought 'went the Moose'.

It's all Mr Pringle's fault, isn't it?

That's right, Moose. Mr Pringle put you
in it and Mr Bishop has now gone mad.

You're likely to end up
in the waste disposal

like his girlfriend Cathy,
if you're not careful.

So what can you do?

Mr Pringle wants you to turn Queen's
evidence, but that's dangerous isn't it?

You'll have an armed escort
each time you go to the Old Bailey

but a good chance of being shot every time
the guard bends down to tie his shoelace.

Whereas, all I want from you is everything
you know about Bishop on the tape recorder.

No trials, no porridge, no statements.
Nothing.

Of course they've got the dog.

I don't care if there's no evidence
- You're

in public relations,
that's what I pay you for

get out a story.

Let the Press build it up.

Get on to the R.S.P.C.A, tell them that
the police are making war on animals.

That's right, they're turning on dogs.
I'll have the whole nation behind me.

I'll take it to the Hague. There must be
something in the UN Charter about it?

Well, look it up!

It crumbles.

The whole structure just - just crumbles.

The whole rotten structure
just crumbles that's all.

Sorry I'm late, sir.

Last time it was your turn, Inspector.
This time it's the Superintendent's.

Bishop has briefed Sir Basil Davidge

to take action in the High Court
for the recovery of his dog.

Where is it?

- Jack?
- Well obviously the dog was lost

on the night that the others got away.

Are you saying you haven't got it?

Of course I haven't!

As a matter of fact, Superintendent, if we
are being honest - I thought you had it.

Yeah, in fact I thought what
a devastating detective

the Superintendent is
becoming in his old age.

He's obtained possession of the dog

and is holding on to it as an inducement
for Bishop to return to this country.

Even presuming I had gained
possession of the dog

what legal right would I have for
withholding him from Bishop?

There is no law which prevents
a dog from leaving this country.

But there is a law which says that
no dogs can be imported into this country

without first undergoing
the usual period of quarantine.

Archimedes is such a dog.

Bishop illegally imported
him two years ago.

So what you're suggesting
is that his illegal

entry is sufficient
to have him held

at the Metropolitan Dog Compound?

- Until his owner claims him.
- But Davidge can apply for possession.

We can oppose it.

You're on thin ice again.

How long do you think we
would have to argue the

case before Bishop gets on
a plane and comes home?

This is the one thing he
can't handle from France.

All this, of course, supposes that
the dog can be found.

I think we can safely leave
that to Inspector Regan

after all, he seems to have
worked out everything else.

How's the Moose, by the way?

I released him after he
gave me a statement.

It's one of the great historic
documents of our time.

Yes, okay. I'll accept that.
I'll go along with that. You just

find the dog, Inspector,
and we'll proceed from there.

Hmm. That's nice. How many
men will you need, Regan?

To find the dog? Oh, er, Sergeant Carter
and me should suffice.

Over fifty square miles of forest?

We were both in the Boy Scouts at one time.

So they've picked it up.

It's in the police pound -

Well it's only a rumour, Jerry,
we've had no official confirmation

there's no possible identification unless
somebody comes forward with the proof

well the proof that it's
an American pedigree

Jerry - that's what
they're looking for.

Well they say that it's an American dog and
they want to see the Import Licence

and the date of entry, etc.

Well okay. - it's not
called an import license.

Well I - I - I I'm not your lawyer, Jerry.

I'm your accountant. To me a dog is a dog.

Yes, well. I am on the line, Jerry

to tell you the script issue
is not going forward.

Well Hanleys don't think that
this is a propitious moment.

Come on.

Aww

- Morning, Doris. Morning, guv.
- Morning Sergeant Carter.

Your E.S.D turned up, all by itself.

- Oh really?
- Cor.

Yes, I think you're right.

Guv.

That's saved you £500 off your wages.

I didn't lose it. You did!

All electronic surveillance
equipment in the

department is your
responsibility, Sergeant.

- Well there it is, good as new
- Hello, Bee

get me Irene. I don't know her second name.

Where did you find it?

Under the Range Rover. At the house of
one Stanley Hedge, chartered accountant.

Check it with records?

- Did better than that, I got a wire tap.
- Cheeky.

The dog has not got an Import Licence.
First of

all there is no such thing
as an Import Licence.

Second, I brought the dog
in on a fishing boat.

Okay Jerry, it's not
called an Import Licence.

I'm not your lawyer Jerry
- I am your accountant

Tomeadogisa-

Hello, look tell Irene

the one with the big
chest and the ringlets.

Yeah tell her that Jack Regan
can't take her to the pictures tonight.

But he'll send a car round with the
tickets so she can take a friend.

How much more of that?

About an hour before I was warned off.

Irene eh?

What state is Bishop in?

He's going potty.

Yes so will the Commander if
I don't make that wire tap official.

You'd better come with me.

Er what shall I do about that?
Give it back to Haskins?

No, put it back under the tea trolley

there it was performing a
really useful function.

Get dressed - we're going to the airport.

- The plane doesn't leave till five.
- We're going now.

You don't think they've got that dog in
that pound for nothing? Do you?

He'll get rabies - fleas

there are diseases dogs get
just by smelling each other

they'll be waiting for you. You know that?

He'll be lonely

confused.

It's been six weeks now.

He'll be out of his mind.

You're out of yours.

What did you say?

Oh, I'm sorry Jerry.
I didn't mean to argue with you

Get your bags packed!

Don't worry old boy, we'll
get you out of this.

I'm not without influence, y'know.

Guv'nor!

Lindair flight 105 Toulouse to Heathrow.
Passenger list includes Gerald Bishop.

Alert Scotland Yard. Detective
Superintendent Pringle.

Detective Inspector Regan.
Please confirm. Heathrow.

He's coming back.

Thanks.

Game, set and match, don't you think?

Yes, sir?

Will you have my car sent
round to the side door please?

I don't know Inspector. I'm more cautious
than you - I'd call it fifteen - love.