Original subtitles

Hello? This is Thongs. To win in treble.

No. 4, 8 and 3 for races 3, 4 and 8, $10,000 each bet to win.

I'm Thongs.

- Who is it? - This is Ivy.

Why are you still calling me?

Didn't I tell you that I'm a monk now?

- Where are you? - I wish I knew.

Don't bother me with secular matters.

- Go to hell! - Same to you.

If that can solve anything, I won't be a monk.

- You'll burn in hell! - Ivy, mind your language, dear.

It's an enhanced Siemens 304

refitted with infrared rays.

The fuse is on the right. Go left.

It's me again.

No. 4, 8 and 3 for races 3, 4 and 8, $10,000 each bet to place.

I was recently enlightened.

Reach for the sky with limited resources.

Too many women, too little time...

Going after them all is a losing game.

Therefore I have decided

not to go after all of them.

I'll focus only on the wealthy ones.

The only way to get rich is to find a rich wife.

Great!

You think so too?

- Move up a bit. - More?

More.

More?

More...

More...

More...

- More... - Don't!

...only got the fourth place.

- Damn! I lost by a whisker. - You'll gamble your life away.

Get lost.

- It's opened. - You should've told me earlier.

Not much here.

It hurts...

Relax, Mrs. Li.

You must spread your legs.

Relax, open up! Open them wide.

What are you doing?

Can't you read?

These laxatives cost just $89.

Forget the cheap stuff.

Get Taxol.

They're for chemotherapy, they cost $8,000 each.

Go for these.

Relax...

Now push, harder...

Push harder!

Okay. There we go.

See for yourself, boy or girl?

Hello?

We're done. We're coming down. Let's rendezvous outside Block B.

Smart ass! Block Boy it is.

"B" for Boy

Act normal.

How? I look like I'm pregnant, and you the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

- Excuse me, tell me... - Don't ask!

Doctors can have humps and pot bellies.

Don't discriminate against the disabled.

Control...

- Hello! Dr. Tsui? - I found two men acting suspiciously.

- Yes. There's an emergency? - I found two men acting suspiciously.

Run!

Split up.

Don't get caught, and don't spill the beans if you do.

- Hey! - Sorry!

- Get out! - Sorry!

No. 3...

Sorry!

I should've backed No. 9.

I'm sure he'll make it.

Hang in there, Dad.

Pardon me...

Why, Dad...

Why?

Who are you?

Who is he?

Chan.

Sorry... wrong ward.

I wasn't looking for a Chan.

I'm so sorry. Excuse me.

Sorry

Sorry.

Congratulations, Mrs. Li.

The baby is healthy and cute, 2.8 kg.

- Really? Let me... - Yes.

- Here, look how cute he is. - How's my daughter-in-law?

She's fine. Everything went smoothly.

- Here she is. - Mani.

How are you feeling? You did great! Look! He's so handsome.

- Just like me. - Well, does it hurt?

You must be tired. Get some rest.

Get some rest.

So cute...

Back to you, Dr. Lee.

Mani!

They're on the third floor.

Let's take a look.

Remember what you promised me?

You said...

we'll go to Alaska...

and get married in a white chapel.

Let's go now...

Marry me.

I'm married to Calvin.

Give me the baby.

You don't mean it.

Listen, we're not meant for each other.

- Give me the baby... - I can change for you!

You're coming with me anyway.

Come back!

Hey, buddy!

The last race. Back No. 6, not No. 9.

- Stop running, you! - No. 6? That's my form guide!

Give me the baby...

Move it...

Hang on, Mani!

- You're hurting me. - Give me Mani.

Are you alright?

Max! Come back...

Out of the way! Stop him!

Stop him! Stop them by the elevator!

Back off!

Take it easy.

- Stay away! - Cool it.

Stop all the escalators.

- Take it easy. - Go away!

First you took Mani and now my son! You're no buddy of mine.

- Give me the baby! - Go away!

Take it easy!

Calm down! Don't do this!

Mani, leave with me!

We'll raise the kid!

You're crazy! Give me my child!

Come with me! Stop crying...

Calm down!

Stand back!

The baby... No!

Let's get out of here.

Help her!

Hurry up, go...

Grab hold of the baby.

- Watch out! - He's falling.

Baby...

Towel! Get some towels...

Pull me up.

It's all right! They got him.

Amazing!

- Thanks. - Go help the baby!

You dropped the drugs.

- Told you to leave them. - There goes your Viagra!

Go... Go... No. 9...

Again! Whose bet is this?

How's the displacement?

- This is for kids. - I'm asking you about the displacement.

Kids... Don't worry, I'm just teasing you.

I had my eye on this one.

Here's my deposit. Prepare the contract.

Ready...

Go!

Got it.

There!

If you can sense a hair... Nothing can stop you.

Hair? That's impossible.

There's nothing, just small change.

Look!

These shark's fins are enormous.

Let's beat it.

I don't want to get rabies.

Mommy, it's Superman!

Yoshihama abalone, Uncle! $10,000 a piece.

- There's more than a hundred of them. - That's more like it.

Come on! Come on!

Come on!

Player 3, dealer 7. Dealer takes all.

- How much? - US$83,800.

This should be enough. Keep the change.

Why don't you use your credit card?

That's just her tip. Credit Card.

Credit card.

I'll look around again, wait for me at the door.

That's a discount card from a sushi store.

Of course I know.

We'll take these as well.

Keep the change!

Stop being a bad loser.

Quit if you can't bear to lose.

You're dead if you don't pay me back.

I'll pay you back right away!

Okay!

Why put the money in the refrigerator?

Why?

That's not a refrigerator. It's a safe.

Don't tell anyone.

- Thanks. - This label is fantastic.

But I've ordered something even better for you.

It'll be here soon.

Try this, Miss. New tissue paper with floral fragrance.

Try the floral fragrance.

Hands off!

Come on...

What the hell, Spooky?

- What now, Hairy? - Where's the money from?

- When are you going to pay up? - Hands off me!

Hey! If I win, you'll get your money.

Right away!

- Let's see about that. - Come on...

- Come on...

Come on...

I'm too nervous.

Check it for me, Hairy.

Alright.

Step aside!

Go...

Thongs, pay up! Come back!

McDaddy!

I like talking to you,

unlike your thugs.

All they do is fight.

Know why I like to borrow from you?

You have compassion, sympathy and a conscience.

Am I right?

And you are smart, too.

I'll repay your $100,000 loan in 100 installments, okay?

It's a deal.

Hey!

I hate smooth talkers.

I have a living to make!

Don't come over.

I was just kidding, McDaddy.

You think this is funny?

Don't make me jump.

Go ahead.

A-Are you serious?

Jump!

You don't want me dead, do you?

No, but you brought it upon yourself.

- Get a camera and take a picture. - Yes, Boss.

If I die, you'll kiss your money goodbye.

It won't do us any good.

No, I think it's brilliant.

I've got so much bad debts lately.

This will show the others.

Go ahead, jump.

No, McDaddy.

No?

Let's see...

No?

So you can read my mind?

I'm safe!

Come on! Come after me!

You!

Take this!

I'll get you, Thongs.

What are you doing, pal?

Fixing the air-conditioning.

It's okay, go back in.

- Look, Boss! Cops! - Here they come.

Go!

Thongs.

Inspector Mok. Sorry, I didn't see you.

You say that every time.

You missed the alumni gathering.

Alumni?

- Nobody called me. - No?

No!

- Grade school or high school? - Grade school.

Here, you know the drill.

Is this really necessary?

No need to leap off a building over a card game.

I told you to quit gambling.

I hate bailing you out in the middle of the night.

You can't count on me much longer.

I've decided to retire.

Retirement? You're kidding!

You know my wife is losing her mind and she's getting worse.

Last week, she grabbed someone's baby

and refused to return it.

She even bit the mother's hand. She's getting worse, understand?

If I carry on with you two.

We'll all end up in jail sooner or later.

Who'll take care of her then?

- That was 20 years ago. - You keep saying that!

I'm still responsible for what happened.

What kind of father was I?

My son had high fever for two days.

I didn't realise it was meningitis. I'm responsible for his death.

We have no children. There is no hope. What else can I do?

Have another one.

I can get Viagra at half price.

Don't provoke him any more.

- Don't tell me what to do. - It's time...

Straighten your shirt.

1.

2.

3.

Honey, you're late!

No, I'm not.

You were at the top of the stairs yesterday.

Now you're only on the third, you don't love me anymore?

I'll hurry tomorrow. I love you very much.

Your son.

Hey! Did you pay your rent?

Of course! Ask him.

- They did. - They're always sneaking around.

What's the matter with them? Don't hang out with them anymore.

What? She knows about us?

We must do something about that.

You're more capable than my Dad.

I am not even fit to tie his shoelaces.

He's one of the richest men in Asia.

If I'm half the man he is, it'd be wonderful.

Dad will like you very much.

I'm sure I'll like him very much too.

and you, of course.

Is my English getting better?

I need to grab a cigar from the car.

Enjoy your dinner.

Yan...

Keep an eye on her.

Stop right there!

What the hell?

What's wrong with you?

You can't come here dressed as a chicken!

Think with your head if you want to spy on me.

Forget it, I want a divorce.

I'm working.

I know that. You'd better not be doing this for fun.

I came because Fanny told me she saw you.

Who's that inside?

Obviously she's a woman. My clients are either men or women.

Can I only have male clients? Divorce me if you don't trust me.

You haven't been home for months, I miss you.

Why?

I was stupid enough to marry you at 18.

Look at this mess. I can't breathe.

Never mind, let's divorce.

- I'm sorry. - Sorry for what?

You'd better not done me wrong! You should feel sorry for yourself.

Go back to school if you have time.

If you knew better, you wouldn't be dressed like this.

What's the key to a marriage?

Trust.

Space.

I'm suffocating!

I want a divorce.

I can't.

- I'm pregnant. - What?

Come again?

I'm pregnant.

No way! When was the last time...

You were drunk that night and forgot to put on...

How could you? You should have kicked me out of bed.

I am ignorant about birth control.

Really!

You know how I am with kids.

I don't like them. If we have a child. We'll have no more privacy.

Are you sure? Have you checked? You can't be more than three months pregnant.

Don't waste any time. Get an abortion in Shenzhen.

You can't afford to wait.

Hurry!

You can't walk to Shenzhen dressed like that.

Take a bus.

Go back inside...

Tell me where is Thongs.

He's dead.

Don't get upset, mind your health.

The usual...

Spray paint and take some pictures.

Shut the door and windows while you eat, okay?

Don't be mad.

Sorry about that.

- Hey, Thongs. - Stay away from him.

- Come to visit your father? - Yes.

He's a disgrace to the village, ignore him.

"THONGS, PAY UP!"

Please move along, lady.

Easy...

Hurry...

What's going on?

- Just leave my family alone. - But you were in hiding, pal.

How else can we find you? What are you doing?

Hold on tight!

I'll pay when I can.

I'll kill you if you bother my family again.

Help him up.

What's the occasion?

Everyone is here.

Twins.

Look how tall you are, Ting!

Come, I brought presents.

These are all for you. Take what you like.

This is for you.

This is for you.

Here's the pillow you wanted.

And your heater.

This is for you, Dad.

A massager to ease your back pains.

Why did you come back?

I thought you were dead.

Stop cursing me like that, Dad.

Look at you, a punk!

You were not like this when you were born.

I wanted you to be a doctor or lawyer.

I sent you to the best schools.

But you turned out to be a loser.

I may not be a lawyer, but I'm still your son. I wanted to be a professional, too.

Even the President, but I'm not cut out for it.

Your mother and I saved up every dime to put you through school.

I tried, I just can't do it.

- Don't be so stubborn. - Me? Stubborn?

I'm doing alright. Look at me.

The hell you are.

What have you been doing?

Gambling!

I'm a business man.

Business? What business?

Whoring and gambling? You're a crook.

You're nothing but a cheat.

- All you want is for me to make money. - Don't start...

I'm making money now. I bought you everything you wanted.

What's wrong with that? I earned every penny.

Money isn't everything.

I want you to be an honest man.

I did nothing wrong. I don't know... what have I done?

- What did I do wrong? - I wonder about these things.

How and where you got them from. You probably stole them!

Take them away!

Out!

Dad...

Here, throw this away as well.

Get out!

- You'd better go. - You're not my son.

I don't have an unworthy son like you.

Nobody wants to see you.

Take them away!

"THONGS, PAY UP!"

Honey!

What is it, Honey?

Is this our bedroom?

Yes, of course..

- Are you sure? - Yes,

it's our bedroom.

We've been robbed!

- What? - There's been a burglary!

Goddamn it, who did this?

It's okay, Honey.

At least our baby is safe.

I'll clean up this mess, okay?

A burglary!

- Hello? - Landlord.

What is it, Uncle?

I heard you're retiring. Made enough already?

I have a big one for you, interested?

I never said I'm retiring. I'll take any job.

"LANDLORD"

Meet for a card game, Thongs.

22:00, the usual place.

Don't buy a car if you can't afford it.

I was just kidding. This is for your troubles.

- You always make me do this. - Stop being agitated. Treat yourself to a massage.

- No. - Stop being agitated. Treat yourself to a massage.

- No! - Come on, take it.

Be like that, you goddamn midget!

You'll be towing cars for the rest of your life...

and you'll have a midget son like you!

Did you crack my refrigerator, Octopus?

Is Thongs coming? What time is it?

There's a big job, I can't decide.

- I feel we should... - Been painting again?

Must you always wear white?

You look better this way?

- Did you crack my refrigerator? - Why are you so upset? The paint is on me!

You should see what I did to those thugs.

What were you saying?

We have an assignment.

I can't make up my mind.

I'll do anything.

This is really complicated. Though we'll be paid $7 million...

- What? - What?

$7 million?

- $7 million? - To do what?

Just hear me out...

Cut the crap, let's do it.

Listen to me...

- I'll do anything for $7 million. - $7 million, you've got to be kidding!

- Start the car... - Mind the door!

Watch where you're going.

Help me.

Landlord...

- Give me a hand. - You don't have to come with us.

I must do this myself.

Why is this such a big deal?

Never mind.

Just open the door for me, I'll wait down here.

Nothing! I bet they wore the jewellery.

- Just some foreign currency left. - You're kidding...

Where's Landlord?

Probably cracking another safe.

Have I seen her before?

What's going on?

What are you doing?

Are you mad?

Just taking him back to his grandpa.

Whose grandpa?

- Shut up! - What?

You lied to me too? What did you feed him?

- What is it? - There's a break-in!

Uncle, it's done.

Is it Lobster Bay?

Roger that.

Do you know what you're doing?

We agreed no raping, looting, arson and murder.

This is someone else's family feud. Stay out of it.

We take the baby to his Grandpa.

All it takes is a few minutes for a blood test.

- What did you feed him? - Nothing.

Just sedative to help him sleep.

Are you crazy?

You fed sedative to a baby!

Even burglars have ethics.

You taught us that, remember?

Ethics is for reference only. We need to improvise all the time.

You should've told us the job involves a baby.

I told you we need to talk but once you heard about the $7 million

you pushed me into the car and you even congratulated me.

You didn't give me a chance.

No way.

What are you doing?

- Take him back. - How can you say that?

- I dare you to repeat that! - Take him back!

Who supported you all these years?

Who supported you all these years?

Who taught you to pick a lock? And who taught you to crack a safe?

What will become of you without me?

You're nothing but a loser. And you, a womanizer.

I'm sorry... do you know what happened to me?

Do you have any idea?

You know my wife is nuts.

And I can barely see these days.

I'm going blind. Do you understand?

Know why I had to do this myself?

Why must I do this?

Use your imagination.

Rings any bell?

I've been robbed!

Some bastards cleaned out my $3 million!

I have nothing left...

Who'll support me?

Will you do it?

Can you support me?

Even I get burgled.

I'm supposed to be a pro. Now I have nothing!

I can manage on my own.

I know I can!

- I don't need your help. - Landlord.

Get in.

Let's go home and get some sleep.

If I wasn't driving this piece of shit, you'll be eating my dust.

Get out of the way, asshole!

If I let you overtake me in that car, I'm a real son of a bitch.

Stop this nonsense! Careful with the kid.

Are you crazy? Let him pass.

- Hello? Uncle? - Are you there yet?

Almost, and you?

Five more minutes. Some asshole is blocking my path.

We're dueling with an asshole too.

Don't be late, the buyer is punctual.

No problem. Be careful and lose that asshole quick.

Don't worry.

I'm not nicknamed "King of Monza" for nothing.

See you there!

Boss.

I just want to know if the baby is ours.

The others can go to hell.

Listen, only the kid!

Yes, Boss.

Excuse me, sir! You were speeding. Please wait here.

See? What did I tell you?

For everyone's information,

my license has been revoked three times.

Your license has been revoked?

What's that got to do with being burglars?

You need to drive the get-away car, pal.

Get ready to swap.

If things go wrong, kill the others. We only want the kid.

- The hardware's all loaded. - Brilliant!

Don't suck on it, blow!

Roll down the window, sir.

Roll down the window.

Thanks for your cooperation.

Please open the bag.

What's inside?

What's inside?

- This bag? - Yes. Please open it.

- Thank you. Open up. - Sure.

Please cooperate, thank you.

Back up! I'm holding a gun, damn it!

- Yes, Boss. - Cut the posturing!

They're running the road block. Give chase! Go...

Run for it! Go.

EU to headquarters. A black sedan just fled from us.

The mini van is getting away. Send a police van after them.

Why is it so dark?

You forgot the lights!

- You call this driving? - Check the kid.

The kid? I held onto him the whole time.

Okay... I'm stuck.

- Can you move? - No, don't mind me.

The cops are coming, take the kid.

To where? Your place?

Are you mad? Don't let my wife see him.

What then?

Just go.

Hurry, the cops are coming.

- They're coming. - Hurry.

I'll get out in a few days.

Take care.

Go!

Control! Traffic accident in Sai Kung.

Send an ambulance, someone's hurt.

And a fire truck. Over!

- What happened, officer? - Please cooperate.

We ran into a road block, Boss.

We don't have the kid and we can't find Uncle.

I want that kid!

I want that kid!

If you can't find him,

prepare for your own funeral.

Yes, Boss. We'll fix it.

He hasn't stopped crying.

What do you want?

Just tell us.

- Humor him. - You do it.

- No, you do it! - Hurry!

Shut up! Don't wake Landlady.

What now?

What are you doing?

- Put him to sleep. - You'll kill him!

- What else can we do? - Let's close the windows.

Close the other one.

What the hell do you want?

Hey!

What are you doing?

- He's fine, I left breathing space. - Where's your common sense?

- You'll kill him, he's just a baby. - He'll be fine,

- I just want to muffle his noise. - How can he be fine?

Hey, it works! Carry on.

It's working...

- Keep it up. - Yes!

Having fun? Keep it up!

Try something else, you're getting boring.

- Now try another trick. - You didn't lock the door.

What a surprise, Landlady!

Landlady?

I heard a baby's cry.

Pretend that you're doing laundry.

Where's the baby?

- No. - No?

Bite your tongue!

Where's my baby?

Don't you bully him.

There's your baby.

Oh, yeah!

What a sucker!

Where's my Honey?

Where is he?

Landlord?

Where's my Honey?

Where is he?

He's gone to eat fondue.

- What kind of fondue? Where? - Shenzhen.

- For how long? - A month... no, a week.

A week?

That'll kill him.

Stop! Landlady...

- Baby! - Landlady!

Landlord is having fondue...

for a day only, not a week.

He's there to close a deal.

A big one. He'll be back soon.

- Yes, I think he told me. - That's right.

- Look! It's filthy! - I'll clean up.

I'll do it.

It'll attract cockroaches, I know.

And here...

- I'll do it. - I'll do it.

Landlady... It's getting late. You should go to bed.

- Clean up this mess. - Sure, we'll clean the whole place up.

- Don't forget your laundry. - Bye.

Hey.

Where's the kid?

Damn! It won't stop!

Pull the plug!

Please don't cry! I'm begging you...

I'll offer you a sacrifice.

Damn! Forgot to light it.

- This thing... - Chicken... it's great.

- Please don't cry. - Babies don't eat chicken.

Please stop crying. Pity my ear-drums!

Have some chicken!

I'll knock him out with this.

Let's give him a beer.

He'll sleep better drunk.

Drumstick...

"Twinkle, twinkle little star".

"How I wonder what you are".

It's working!

Keep it up!

Keep singing.

Sing anything, hurry!

Hurry...

"Fatso marries an expensive wife".

"We sharks are circling him left and right".

"With interest multiplying day by day".

"Our future has never looked so bright".

- You call that a song? - Then you do it.

Wait! Let me strike my Elvis pose.

"Your mother re-married".

"a bearded fellow".

"with a scar on his butt".

"I love you, loving you...".

"like bees attracted to honey".

"No matter what happens".

"I will always love you".

"We wish you a Merry Christmas".

"We wish you a Merry Christmas".

"We wish you a Merry Christmas".

"And a Happy New Year".

"And a Happy New Year".

This is local news at top of the hour...

There's a break-in at Tycoon Li's Peak mansion.

Excuse me, officer.

I need a favor...

I have a request.

- Hello? - Hello?

Turn on the TV, Thongs.

Now!

Thanks.

According to the latest financial reports...

the Li family's net worth is well over $50 billion.

See that? He's not just a mongrel.

He's a pedigree poodle.

It's not regular price anymore. I'll jack it up when I get out.

- How long will it take? - A week at the most.

I'm charged with dangerous driving.

- Two weeks tops. - What?

Who'll look after him?

No one except you, understand? Wait till I get out.

A week! My God...

- It's not on! - Quiet...

Again?

What now?

Are you out of your mind?

What are you doing?

It stinks! I don't believe this.

He didn't even have much to eat.

Don't shove it to me! There's shit everywhere.

Eat this, come on... Yeah, good boy...

Baby! Baby!

Don't feed him just anything.

How old is he?

- How old? - Yes!

- How old? - Five to six months, I can tell.

Who's the father?

He is.

I see...

I know your kind.

- Yes, that's what we are. - Don't worry, I have nothing against your kind.

But men are so careless.

Not this!

This is for three-year-olds.

No, this one doesn't have DHA.

This is extra large!

His pee will leak from the side.

No!

This is for breast enlargement.

I need that, he wants a better feel.

Don't complicate matters, just hurry!

Life is complicated.

You are what you eat.

What you feed and teach stay with him for life.

You must take this seriously.

Let me give you a lesson.

I'll show you.

Enough! Just hurry!

- Whose napkins are these? - Napkins?

One with wings and one without... One for day, one for night, which is it?

- I want night time with no wings. - Day time with wings for me.

Just hurry...

- Ready? - Yes!

Drink this!

Is it too thick?

This is it.

Hurry.

Thanks!

- We'll each take a class. - Alright!

Hey!

Thanks.

Over there, sir!

Help me, please!

One, two, three.

Sit down and relax.

I don't get it. Can you show me again?

Okay. Carry on.

Go home and teach your wife.

Keep your back straight. Tighten your thighs and buttocks.

Straighten the back?

- Yes. - Is this straight enough?

- Look! It's straight... - Keep it flat and straight.

- He's so cute! - Yes!

How old is he?

A few months, I think.

A few months? He's big.

- Where's his mother? - Mommy's at work.

You take care of him yourself?

That's great!

So cute and loveable.

We could have caught a taxi if you'd hurried.

Shut up, alright?

What a coincidence!

You just got off?

No, I work at the hospital.

This is just part time.

Chatting her up?

She was our instructor.

What a cute baby!

Excuse me!

Where are you?

I'm with your Mom.

Really? Put her on.

What?

- I can't hear you. Call me back. - Hello? Hello!

Bitch!

Thank you...

Do stay in touch...

Bye-bye.

You're not local?

I'm from Shaanxi.

A student nurse on exchange.

- Hello? - Dad had a stroke!

- What? - He's in the hospital.

Is it serious?

He's out of intensive care.

I'll drop by after work.

- Hurry! - Yes...

Where do you work?

Me?

This is my stop, talk to you later.

Let's go!

Hello?

I'm charged with running a road block, resisting arrest and dangerous driving.

They're refusing bail.

But the lawyer said I'll be out next week.

- Next week? - Keep feeding the pedigree poodle.

We're supposed to feed him well. And don't hand him over to anyone.

Where is the poodle?

- It's the wrong bus! - Sorry...

Picture perfect! Give me a kiss!

It's your fault!

- Are you alright? - Thanks.

Don't hold him like that.

Careful with his arm!

You're just plain negligent! Leaving him behind on the bus.

Can you help me?

Octopus!

I don't believe my luck.

How can he miss out by a whisker?

I should have known better. I lose money on him every time.

I do the dishes, you take a bath. Let's take a bath together, okay?

I'm rich!

I've won, at last.

Isn't it fun?

Hey!

Can you believe this?

Thanks so much, Melody.

If not for you,

we wouldn't know what to do with him.

Octopus and I are grateful.

Actually, I'm very grateful...

So that's how he was revived.

Yan...

Did you do what I told you to do?

You don't have to go if you're busy.

Should I call her?

Was I too harsh?

This is Yan, I can't come to the phone right now.

Leave a message at the beep.

- Alan! - Long time no see, Thongs.

Your baby?

Hey, stop it!

Carry on...

Come...

Be a good boy!

- Don't do that! - Thongs, what's your game?

Get out if you're not playing!

Don't bring a kid in here!

Get lost!

Life is complicated, you are what you eat.

What you feed and teach stay with him for life.

You must take this seriously.

Thongs, are you in or not?

Go home and babysit!

Get lost!

I'm not playing.

Loser!

- Cleaned out already? - No, he was crying too much.

Yes, that's a good boy.

How about just one bet? Just one?

No more gambling.

I quit...

You're worse than my Dad!

I really don't know.

I've been calling Landlord all night.

I'm a man of my word.

I'll fix it for you.

I just want the boy!

Let me out...

Is this a joke?

Landlord has two partners in crime. Thongs and Octopus.

Let me out!

Thongs and Octopus.

I don't care what you do, find them.

- That's how you put this on. - I found them, Boss. They're inside.

Very good! Now we change the diaper.

Are you Thongs?

Give me the baby.

- What baby? - Don't play dumb.

Don't play dumb.

- I don't know any Uncles. - Don't play dumb with me.

What is it?

They're looking for Baby.

My name is Baby, looking for me?

Damn! You're asking for it!

Go!

What's the matter with you?

Nothing, I just over jumped.

What did they say?

Who cares? Let's go.

- Remember? - Yes.

You ring the doorbell, and when he opens...

I'll splash the paint on your cue.

Let him have it!

Yes.

Wait!

Thongs, don't hide behind women and babies.

I won't spare you!

I don't understand a word you're saying.

Thongs is my buddy.

He's not here right now, come back later.

No problem, we'll wait for him inside.

- Wait! - He's my kid brother.

Nice to meet you.

Hey!

There's no one here.

Fanny, I'm scared.

Is it worse than abortion?

Ask him about the future?

Confront him with the ultrasound.

Be good.

Who are you looking for?

Octopus.

He is not here, come back later.

You'd better come in first.

Thongs.

Make sure the baby is home.

- What's that look on your face? - Toothache.

- Why is Octopus off in such a hurry? - He needs to use the toilet.

- You guys live here? - Yes.

I love to come up for a chat.

Steve!

Octopus! Thongs!

You've finally shown up!

I'm tired of leaving messages on your voice-mail.

Leave! You two, get out! Come here.

Where's the baby?

- In your room. Who are they? - Decorators.

My flat is a mess.

What's with the paint?

We're renovating, just trying out the colors.

What is it, Yan?

Oh, no!

Talk to the officer.

What is it, Miss?

Thongs...

The police can help you with any problem.

There's a cop in there! Go to the roof.

Sit down and tell me your problem.

Meet my good friend Inspector Steve Mok.

He's my... cousin.

He's my... other cousin.

We came to show him... the color sample.

- Your face... - I'm into body art.

What's with all the baby stuff?

You know my pal Octopus...

He's a born womanizer.

He got someone pregnant.

Can't do much about that.

- Where is he now? - In the bathroom.

- I need to go too. - You do?

I'm investigating a break-in. Know anything about it?

I've quit long time ago.

Octopus, Inspector wants to have a word.

Hurry up.

Octopus...

- What took you so long? - You're here?

- Your turn. - Not after him, it stinks in there.

- You have a friend in there. - Friend?

He's my cousin too.

I'm the eldest.

Then let's reminisce.

- Never met each other? - Of course, they have.

Take care of this, Octopus.

Why are you still here? Get out of my sight!

What the hell is this?

- If you want to stay, then I'll leave. - You...

And you...

It sounds complicated.

Yes,

very complicated.

Thongs,

we've been friends for so long. I didn't know you have cousins of different races.

My dad was a sailor. He must have stopped in India.

That'll make him your brother. That's not right.

Maybe the sailor was his Grandpa.

Or his mother's father.

What's the matter with you?

What's wrong?

I have occasional muscle spasms.

Muscle spasms?

- Well? - Cramps.

You're probably possessed! Give me a hand.

Baby!

Hold on...

Help me, Thongs!

Give us a hand!

- I'd like to... - I can bite!

Catch! Beat it!

You won't get away with this!

You have a lot of nerve, Thongs.

Hurry up!

Oh no!

They're inside, go get them!

Mind your head!

You're so greedy.

- Listen to me, Steve. - You can confess at the station!

- I'll turn myself in afterwards. - Who'd believe you?

- Are you alright? - Just worry about yourself!

- Don't hit my head. - Thongs!

Stay back!

Should have listened to me.

I'll get you, Thongs!

- Octopus! - Run!

Come back!

Alright...

Get up! After the truck!

Stop!

Stop!

Police! I need to use your bike!

Go...

What? It's not mine. I'm on learner's permit.

I'll ask the Commissioner to grant you a proper license! Go!

- Really? - Yes!

Mind if I ask what you used to drive?

I'm just a video gamer!

Shit! Some-some...

Someone is tailing us. Looks like a robber to me.

In broad daylight? Now what?

Don't worry, call Headquarters. Ask for back up.

Come in, Headquarters... This is 3321, Daniel calling.

Stop the car, kid!

Who are you calling a kid? I can tell that you're a thief!

Having serious fun? I'll... ram your butt!

Move closer...

Easy, slow down a bit...

What? Another one?

On a motorbike?

Stop the car! Stop.

He's cute!

Hop over!

The Commissioner will be in touch.

That way! After him!

- Free the pushchair! - Do you think I'm sunbathing?

Almost there!

- Move closer. - Stop! Turn.

Turn... ram him!

Thank God! Watch out!

You call yourself a driver?

Thank God! That was close.

Everything's fine.

Back up was quick!

Thanks to you.

Where are you from?

I'm a cop, kid.

I need to use your bike.

You're nuts.

I dare you to say that again.

Everything is taken care of, keep in touch.

Thanks.

This is Octopus, if you need me, leave a message after the tone.

"This is to confirm that I, Fong Kar-Ho, have borrowed $100,000 from Ho Fai."

Let's pay off Thongs' debts.

Don't worry, Dad. Here's my contribution.

What happened to you? Uncle...

You've turned into a popsicle.

Boss, I can explain...

We're men of honour...

We never renege.

We always keep our word.

Never break a promise.

One for all, and...

All for you!

$30 milllion.

Thirty... Million...

That's my offer, take it or leave it.

Money is nothing between you and me. Whatever you say.

Who is it?

It's me.

You're home!

Who's the kid? He's crying like crazy.

Check him out for me.

Okay. Well?

You need to change him and he's running a fever.

- Fever? - Yes!

- What shall I do? - Take him to a doctor.

- Take him to a doctor? - Hurry!

- Hello? - Landlord?

- I'm free. - Thank God for that.

Where are you now?

On my way to the hospital.

- Hospital? What happened? - The baby is sick.

Tell Octopus to meet us there.

Thongs?

Be careful, Dad.

What happened?

I called you about Dad's stroke.

You're too busy to care.

I'm sorry, Dad.

Take good care of Dad.

Are you alright?

The fever broke.

The doctor said he'll be fine.

- Thanks. - You don't have to worry.

I...

You don't have to explain.

No matter what,

you saved his life.

Wait here, I'll get his prescription.

Thanks.

It's okay.

There you are, Thongs.

- Don't do anything stupid. - There's a baby...

- Watch the baby! - I have a baby too.

- Let go. - You let go.

- Together on a count to three. - 1...2...3.

Don't cry.

About the loan...

I'm not in the mood for that.

But you grabbed me...

Just occupational reflex.

What's wrong with your baby?

Measles. He won't drink his milk.

Boil some carrots, water chestnuts and barley.

Give him the juice.

What?

Just tell his mother to make it.

His mother? She ran off.

What about his mother...

His mother?

Gone as well.

Where did you get his clothes?

Anywhere.

$80 at the convenient store, 10% off.

$72?

A further 10% off with a discount card.

That's $64.80.

Do you have a discount card? Here, take mine.

I'll forfeit today's interest.

But I'll start chasing tomorrow.

Come on!

Just doing my job.

Thongs.

Landlord.

Here's my million dollar poodle.

Let's get a suite and talk.

Hurry...

Now that you're here, let's talk.

Do you know how much more... I have bargained for you for this poodle?

I'll give you three guesses.

$30 million!

$30 million!

This $5 million is just the deposit.

We deliver in three hours

and we get $25 million more! It's too good to be true.

Give him this glucose later.

It's not necessary, now that his fever broke.

What?

You two have become nannies now?

It can't be.

What is this?

Three Ferraris.

What are you thinking?

Your own casino, bigger than Monte Carlo.

Come on!

Give us a chance.

No matter... what you want,

We'll do it.

Just don't hurt our baby.

There's nothing to watch on TV.

You think she'll recognize him?

You're worried she'll recognize the baby? This baby is barely...

- I need some fresh air. - They all look the same.

Everyone says he takes after his father, I disagree. She won't be able to tell, understand?

We offer specialty sashimi. Yellow tail, salmon and cuttlefish.

Give it a try, it's only $60.

Come on in, thank you.

Please come in.

Specialty sashimi including salmon.

yellow tail, sweet shrimp, all for $60.

Come in.

Hey... Miss.

You have to speak louder. Louder!

Special promotion for 2006.

Specialty sashimi including sweet shrimp, yellow tail, salmon...

and cuttlefish, only $60.

Please come in.

Special promotion for 2006.

Hello?

Darling...

I'm sorry.

I don't deserve to be your husband...

So long...

Here you are, Madam.

Honey!

Darling!

Silly, why the tears?

You called from a hospital. What's going on?

- Are you okay? - I'm fine, dear.

What happened to your glasses?

I got run over by a bike on my way here and cracked the lenses.

Get me a new pair tomorrow.

Good girl.

Now close your eyes. I have something for you.

No peeking. Take a step back...

Honey, here's something you'll cherish.

Ready...

Lower your arm.

Right, now the other one.

Now open your eyes.

Not so loud, you'll scare him.

Baby...

Mommy missed you.

Honey...

Have I been a burden to you?

Don't be silly.

You made me very happy.

You're my most precious darling.

Not so loud, you're waking him.

Good baby.

I'm returning him tomorrow.

I have sorted out the baby formula.

So nice to be a baby.

Eat, sleep, drink and shit.

So happy...

and without a care in the world.

Right?

Right.

Why do you trust me? You know I'm a burglar,

still you made friends with me.

Actually...

The first time I saw you, I knew you have a conscience.

If you have a chance to start over,

will you still be a burglar?

It's too late for that now.

You can start from this very second.

It's never too late.

Look at me.

Look me in the eye.

I've faith in you.

It's Mommy.

- Daddy... - Cut it out!

Mommy.

Daddy...

Daddy...

Do you know his name?

Why do you want to know?

Just curious at what will happen.

What do you think will happen to him?

- Hello? - I've got the money.

Bring the kid.

Someone will fetch you in five minutes.

Wait here!

Open the gate!

Where is he? Give me the baby!

Thirty... Million...

Give me the baby.

Listen...

feed him milk every four hours.

Check the temperature with the back of your hand or you'll scald him, understand?

Also, everyday at noon... he needs his orange juice, get it?

He chokes easily since he has no teeth, even crushed fruits will choke him.

If you feed him solid food, you must chew...

- Don't be such a nag. - Also...

Hold him with your left arm or he'll cry.

Give him congee in the afternoon.

Chop up some lean pork, finely diced.

Not too cold, not too hot.

Serve in two separate bowls.

Okay, okay. Just hand him over.

Alright.

Hey.

- Be careful. - I will.

Here, take this bottle too.

- The temperature is right I got it... - Don't rock him too hard.

- It's time to feed him. - Enough.

I wonder if he'll survive the night.

What are you staring at?

Get lost.

Come on, let's go.

What are you doing?

Don't worry. They have doctors and nurses, he'll be fine.

It's just family squabbles.

They're taking take him to his Grandpa.

Think about your Ferrari and your casino.

Come on! Your dreams are here. Come on!

- Get the car ready. - Yes!

Finished?

Let's go. Take him upstairs.

Daddy.

- Daddy's coming! - Mommy's coming!

Get the kid!

- Give me the baby! - It's not our fault.

- I know, hand me the baby... - It's not our fault.

Good boy.

Landlord!

Wait for us!

He took off!

Open up!

Give me the baby!

Turn on the machine.

Hurry!

- Send someone to the ferris wheel. - Yes, sir!

Oh my God!

Baby!

Baby!

Where are you, Baby?

Mommy.

Don't move, I'm coming up!

Mommy.

Stay right there...

I'm here.

Baby!

Daddy.

It's not funny!

Great job, Thongs! You deserve a kiss!

Don't hurt the baby, morons!

Daddy!

Run, Daddy!

Hurry up and get in!

Isn't it fun?

Then let's continue.

Get the kid! Send the other train!

Don't worry.

I'll get it back for you.

Thongs!

I only want the boy!

Come out...

or I'll drop him!

We all die sooner or later.

It's a matter of going in style.

Take the baby and go. Don't mind me!

I doubt if he'll drop me.

Thongs!

On the count to 10...

and I'll let go.

One...

Two...

Six, seven...

What? What about three to five?

Eight, nine, ten!

Stop!

Stop!

- Get the baby! - Yes!

Who the hell invented free fall machines?

Master.

What a cute baby.

Give me a big smile...

You're my grandson.

- Don't cry, Mommy's here. - Daddy's here...

- Mommy's here. - Daddy's here.

Hold him with your left arm or he'll cry.

Not bad.

I understand why you're giving up your reward.

But I'm keeping this baby.

You should go if you want to stay alive.

Give me a smile.

You're my grandson, understand?

Alright...

As soon as we get the result,

the three of us are going to Brazil.

Who are you?

I only want the baby.

Nothing else matters.

It's awful to separate him from his mom.

Awful?

What about my dead son?

Max lost his mother when he was a child.

I promised him his own amusement park.

It's finished now.

I also promised him a race track.

But it's only half complete...

and that bitch killed him.

I already lost a son.

I'm not going to lose my grandson.

This child...

is my only hope for living.

If you feel this way, think about his mother.

She must be feeling the same.

Why must you separate them?

What if he's not your grandson?

What'll happen then?

The lab report, Master.

You can go.

What's going on?

What is he doing?

I'm not really sure.

I found the boy.

But he's not your son.

Don't do this, Master.

Prepare the medication.

Mind your health, sir.

Watch him.

- Master. - Take the kid with you.

- Easy. - Don't shut the door!

Let him keep you company.

Be careful, Master.

- Give him a hand. - Where's the baby?

- Give us the baby! - I want my baby.

Don't! Take your money and leave.

I'm turning this place into an ice palace!

I'm turning this place into an ice palace!

A big ice palace.

Gigantic ice palace.

A gigantic ice palace.

What's the matter with you?

See for yourself.

You're useless.

That was quick!

You saw them?

Yes, I saw them both...

Why are you still here?

Throw them out!

Can you do this?

Thank God.

Round and round and round he goes!

Goddamn baldie!

Octopus, the baby hasn't cried for a while.

I'm aware of it!

Baldie...

I hate bald heads.

It's fresh.

Baby!

Octopus!

Baby...

Baby!

Baby...

- How is he? - Take off your jacket.

Baby, hang in there! You'll be all right.

Baby...

Go!

Put it on!

Baby...

Catch!

Turn it up.

Gorge yourself!

Feed them something extra.

See if you can open the door.

There's no key hole to pick...

It can't be opened from inside.

- Thongs! - Octopus?

Are you alright, Thongs?

Open the door!

Only the Master knows the combination.

What? Only he can open it?

You saw him. He has gone mad.

You're on, Landlord. Do your stuff.

How?

It's a Swiss computerized mechanical lock. Eight layers with over four million combinations.

Same kind used by the CIA.

Save your breath. Open it while I call the cops.

- Run for it. - Stop!

Hey, come back!

Be quiet!

Freeze!

The machines are too loud.

- Turn off the machines. - Yes.

And the refrigerator.

Unplug the refrigerator.

- And the air-conditioning. - Kill the air-conditioning.

Everybody, hold your breath.

What?

Hold your breath!

Keep quiet! Silence!

Well? Is it open?

- Why doesn't the door pop open? - Pop open?

Don't touch it!

Why doesn't it pop open?

Because of this?

It has nothing to do with something so intricate. Damn...

It's opened!

- What took you so long? - Save the baby.

- Save him... - How is he?

Save the baby.

- You promised me a reduced sentence. - All right.

The car!

Don't die on me!

The car...

Hot-wire it!

Don't scare me, Baby...

Come get your milk.

Baby!

Wake up for milk.

Mommy's here, don't be afraid. Don't be afraid...

Baby...

Don't die on me.

Come drink your milk. Wake up!

Wake up!

Wake up, Baby.

Pop the hood, use the engine.

Engine... in the back!

One, two, three!

One, two, three!

Wake up...

One more time!

One, two, three!

Take them away.

Bring your men and block the exits. Don't let anyone through.

Baby...

Come back!

Never mind.

Look.

Hurry, please...

Pulse rate 80 BPM.

Max.

This is the police!

Max, come home.

I want to play with you...

- Just calm down! - Max...

Sorry, Honey! Take care of yourself.

I thought money was important, but I was wrong.

If there's reincarnation...

I still want you for my wife.

We'll have ten kids, okay?

I love you.

While I'm in jail,

I missed you every single second.

I now know how awful you must have felt when I was wild and unruly.

I'm really sorry.

If I have the chance to start over...

I'll cherish you more.

Dad, all I did was gamble

and caused you a lot of trouble.

I've been dealt a lousy hand.

I thought if I had money,

I'll earn respect and own the world.

Now I've learnt my lesson

at the expense of my beloved family.

I'm sorry, Dad.

Goodbye.

We'll have lots of kids and play in the garden.

All of us will race each other.

May the Lord forgive your sins.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, Amen.

We'll have our own children.

We play in the backyard

while you make dinner...

And do our laundry.

The government policy back then was very strict with the death penalty.

It was only used on convicts who have committed serious crimes.

What you have just witnessed

are different forms of the death penalty.

I'm sure you now have a better understanding.

Let's have another round of applause for our inmates who gave us the demonstration.

Well done!

Thank you!

Please help yourselves to the refreshments.

Hi there!

- How are you, Landlady? - You were great, Thongs.

- Where's Dad? - You did a great job, Honey.

- I was so scared. - It wasn't real, silly.

- What about the "I love you" part? - Of course, that's for real.

Honey, I have adopted ten kids.

From South Africa, the Middle East, Germany...

Anyone from Cameroon?

Let me see... I'm so happy.

Don't overexert yourself. You're pregnant. Let me carry that.

Don't frown, it's bad for the baby.

Speak for yourself. The doctor said the baby is doing great.

I almost forgot my appointment.

With a man or a woman?

My clients are either men or women.

I can only meet with women?

- No. - Space, remember?

Yes...

I have plenty of space here.

All right. Thanks for coming.

Thanks for taking care of my Dad.

How are you getting along?

There's nothing to it. It's not my first time.

But I promise you it'll be my last.

Why are you making promises to me?

I...

Uh, I promise my dad.

Thongs.

Inspector.

You have to thank your lucky stars.

The Justice Department may put you on parole.

- Thanks. - Thanks.

Look who's here to see you.

- Baby! - Baby!

Baby...

- Over here. - Go on.

Give me a hug.

- Mommy. - It's been a long time.

Sorry we didn't have a chance to apologize.

- We're really very sorry. - We know.

If it hadn't been for you, our baby could have died.

- I wonder if they'll be interested. - In what?

- In working for us. - What?

You'll be in charge of security.

You can be the bodyguard.

You can the chauffeur.

I'm perfect for the job.

Driving sports cars has to be my pet project.

- Are you interested? - Absolutely.

- We'll wait for your discharge, then. - Our Open Day is over.

Time to return to your cell.

The baby!

Oh, right.

Mrs. Li. We don't even know his name.

- It's Matthew. - Ka Sing.

Li Ka Sing?

So long!

Blindfold me, I can't bear to watch.

- How's Jackie? - Are you all right?

Bring me a towel.

That hurt! One more time.

I get to keep this?

Help him up.

The spine...

You should go for an X-ray.

- I'm fine. - Bring the car.

Bring the mattresses here. What are you doing over there?

Come on... over here.

Over here.

Careful...

Careful.

Leave your card with my PA. She'll save you the best seat.

When's the press conference?

I can't hear a word you're saying.

Apply more honey.

More.

Stop, I can't stand this!

Thongs!

- Steve, I didn't see you. - You say that every time.

You missed the alumni gathering.

- Nobody called me. - Are you sure?

- Grade school or college? - It's supposed to be High School!

Stop fluffing your line!

It was a one-take! Do you know how scary it was up there?

I now have to do it all over again!

I'll wring your neck for this!