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1
00:00:01,044 --> 00:00:04,395
♪
2
00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:06,832
- [bell clanging]
- It's crab night, baby!
3
00:00:06,832 --> 00:00:08,486
[cracking]
4
00:00:11,576 --> 00:00:14,275
Mmm! Mmm. Mmm.
5
00:00:14,275 --> 00:00:17,060
KLAUS: Boy, do I love
crab season.
6
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:19,193
- Anyone get any meat?
- ALL: No.
7
00:00:19,193 --> 00:00:21,847
That fish monger at Whole Foods
made a fool of you again!
8
00:00:21,847 --> 00:00:23,632
Godangit!
9
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:24,894
[whirring]
10
00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:26,852
[electricity crackles]
11
00:00:26,852 --> 00:00:29,072
[whirring stops]
12
00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:32,293
Anyone wanna go in on soup
dumplings? I have a code.
13
00:00:32,293 --> 00:00:34,469
Can't.
I have a troop meeting.
14
00:00:34,469 --> 00:00:36,471
Since when are you involved
with Girl Scouts?
15
00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:38,255
I've been working
with this down-and-out troop
16
00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:39,691
for a couple weeks now.
17
00:00:39,691 --> 00:00:41,432
It's been so fulfilling
to give back
18
00:00:41,432 --> 00:00:44,044
because girls really do face
so many obstacles.
19
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,393
Never run into that myself.
20
00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:47,656
Plus, I get to give
the support I never got
21
00:00:47,656 --> 00:00:49,092
when I was a Girl Scout.
22
00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:50,441
You were in Girl Scouts?
23
00:00:50,441 --> 00:00:51,921
♪
24
00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:53,923
I just got
my archery badge!
25
00:00:53,923 --> 00:00:55,968
Uh-huh. I'm busy.
26
00:00:55,968 --> 00:00:58,754
We just won
the big jamboree!
27
00:00:58,754 --> 00:01:02,758
Can't you see I'm trying to
enjoy this night with my jar?
28
00:01:02,758 --> 00:01:03,933
[whistle blows]
29
00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:05,195
I'm quitting Girl Scouts.
30
00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:07,719
You don't care about it,
and neither do I.
31
00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:09,504
- You're quitting what, now?
- Girl Scouts!
32
00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:11,114
♪
33
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:12,724
You were in Girl Scouts?
34
00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:14,117
Yes! I was!
35
00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:15,771
But you completely missed it
36
00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:17,425
because you never pay attention
to me.
37
00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:18,991
It's true, Stan.
38
00:01:18,991 --> 00:01:20,819
You don't pay attention
to either of your kids.
39
00:01:20,819 --> 00:01:23,779
If I pay too close attention,
I notice all their faults.
40
00:01:23,779 --> 00:01:25,128
Like, look at Steve.
41
00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:26,608
I'm looking at him,
and all I see
42
00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:29,176
is that scrawny body
and little chin.
43
00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:31,352
He has glasses.
His eyes don't work right.
44
00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:33,571
And I hate the frames he chose.
They don't work for his face...
45
00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:35,791
STEVE: Oof.
This is pretty rough stuff.
46
00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:38,707
Thankfully I can retreat
into my rich fantasy life.
47
00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:42,798
I wonder what it would be like
to be the wizard Merlin...
48
00:01:42,798 --> 00:01:45,061
ziz secretary...
49
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:46,976
♪
50
00:01:46,976 --> 00:01:48,673
Running low
on quills.
51
00:01:48,673 --> 00:01:51,763
I know he likes the gray quills.
Says they write more smoothly.
52
00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:56,159
And if Merlin says they're
smooth, then smooth they are.
53
00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:58,074
Oh, Merl.
54
00:01:58,074 --> 00:01:59,989
MERLIN:
[singsong voice] Steve!
55
00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:02,122
Ah! I just want
to make sure my robe
56
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,298
is back
from the launderer, hm?
57
00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:07,779
Got that big soiree with
Lancelot and Arthur tonight.
58
00:02:07,779 --> 00:02:10,260
The robe? Of course!
59
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:11,914
The robe's handled.
60
00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:14,046
Magical.
61
00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:16,136
♪
62
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,789
STAN: ...he's constantly daydreaming...
63
00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:19,748
I forgot the robe!
64
00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:21,837
And now he's forgotten
the robe.
65
00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:24,883
[patriotic music plays]
66
00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:27,321
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.♪
67
00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:31,151
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day♪
68
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:34,284
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face♪
69
00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:38,288
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race♪
70
00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:43,902
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say♪
71
00:02:43,902 --> 00:02:46,209
-♪ Good--♪
-♪ Good morning, U.S.A.♪
72
00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:47,036
Aah!
73
00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:50,431
-♪ Good morning, U--♪
- [siren wails]
74
00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:54,609
Guess I'm done singing.
What'd I do?
75
00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:56,219
You crashed
into the flagpole.
76
00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:58,178
Yes. But don't worry.
My car is fine.
77
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,701
Now,
if you'll excuse me...
78
00:02:59,701 --> 00:03:01,572
You can't leave, sir.
79
00:03:01,572 --> 00:03:03,095
- What about him?
- Sir, that's a cat.
80
00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:04,662
I'm writing you a ticket.
81
00:03:04,662 --> 00:03:06,795
I'm allowed to crash
into the flagpole!
82
00:03:06,795 --> 00:03:08,057
Tell him, Dimitri!
83
00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:12,453
[sniffs]
Have you been drinking, sir?
84
00:03:12,453 --> 00:03:14,063
That's just ma booch!
85
00:03:14,063 --> 00:03:16,935
I drink six highly fermented
kombuchas each morning
86
00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:18,850
to keep my microbiome balanced.
87
00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:20,417
- [stomach growls]
- Ooo!
88
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,854
The bad bacteria's
getting the upper hand.
89
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:24,029
- Let me just get a swig.
- [cuffs click]
90
00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:26,075
[both grunting]
91
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:31,123
You can't touch me!
I outrank you!
92
00:03:31,123 --> 00:03:33,735
- [Taser crackles]
- Catch me, Dimitri!
93
00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,650
- [Taser crackling]
- [grumbling]
94
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:39,262
♪
95
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:41,917
Stanford Leonard Smith,
you have been charged with--
96
00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,614
Oh. One sec.
I'm feeling a rumble.
97
00:03:43,614 --> 00:03:44,876
Booch me, Francine!
98
00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:47,227
[glass shatters]
99
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,445
Order!
100
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,665
Stan Smith, I am sentencing you
101
00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:53,755
to 50 hours
of community service.
102
00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:56,410
What? First, a police officer
tells me what to do...
103
00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:57,933
and now a judge?
104
00:03:57,933 --> 00:03:59,369
Your assignment
105
00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:01,893
is to clean the outhouses
at the rodeo.
106
00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:03,112
No!
107
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:04,853
You don't have to
freak out,
108
00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:06,420
I'm not married
to the whole rodeo thing.
109
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:07,725
What you got?
110
00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:09,771
Umm...
111
00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:12,600
there's a Girl Scout troop
I could help with.
112
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:16,343
Mmmm! Mama likey!
113
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,910
Okay. Adjourned!
Booch me!
114
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,262
People think
judges are so mean,
115
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,003
but all you have to do
is catch them after lunch.
116
00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:27,702
♪
117
00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:29,617
Dad, I'm so excited
you're finally
118
00:04:29,617 --> 00:04:31,314
doing Girl Scouts
with me!
119
00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:32,881
Okay, let me introduce you
to our troop.
120
00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:34,709
- This is Lissy.
- Whatever.
121
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:36,493
- Dana.
- Not gonna remember that.
122
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:38,060
I'm not here
to make friends.
123
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:40,105
I'm here to
not clean outhouses.
124
00:04:40,105 --> 00:04:43,326
I'll be napping for a week
while you do dumb girly stuff.
125
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:46,460
Dad, Girl Scouts isn't all
what you call "girly stuff."
126
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:49,593
We do empowering things
like camping, archery--
127
00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:50,725
People or targets?
128
00:04:50,725 --> 00:04:52,117
Well, targets of course.
129
00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:53,293
Snooze!
130
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,860
Plus robotics
and engineering.
131
00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:58,341
Lissy, why don't you show new
Troop Leader Smith your robot?
132
00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:01,126
[beep, whirring]
133
00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:05,000
[electronic dance music plays]
134
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,437
Meh.
It's no Johnny 5.
135
00:05:07,437 --> 00:05:09,396
We're rehearsing our skit
for the jamboree.
136
00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:10,788
Do you want to see it
before your nap?
137
00:05:10,788 --> 00:05:13,530
Look, little birdie,
this here is not my scene.
138
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,576
So you can tweet-tweet
all you want to.
139
00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:18,796
I'm still gonna sleep-sleep
all I want to.
140
00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:22,887
[snoring]
141
00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:28,371
[bell rings]
142
00:05:28,371 --> 00:05:30,373
[sniffs]
143
00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:33,289
Steve, did you shower
after gym?
144
00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:36,553
No, my trick is to sneak in
after the final bell
145
00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:38,250
and shower
when it's empty.
146
00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:42,080
A luxurious
rub-a-dub-dub.
147
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:46,215
♪ Clean Steve
will smell real nice♪
148
00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:48,391
♪ Clean Steve♪
149
00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,611
♪ Preventing lice♪
150
00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:52,526
Thank you for helping
with our possum problem
151
00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:54,266
in the locker room.
152
00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:57,792
I can't believe we found so many
all-female exterminators
153
00:05:57,792 --> 00:06:00,447
and on Bring Your Teenage
Daughter To Work Day.
154
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:02,274
- [shower running]
- Hold on.
155
00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:04,102
Sounds like
one of those possums
156
00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:05,974
is doing a little
rub-a-dub-dub.
157
00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:08,498
Oh, my God!
158
00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:10,108
[laughter]
159
00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:16,419
Drink it in, ladies.
160
00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:18,465
STEVE [thinking]:
Oof. More rough stuff.
161
00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:21,032
Time for a trip to Camelot.
162
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:22,512
♪
163
00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:24,645
[chicken clucking]
164
00:06:24,645 --> 00:06:26,386
What?
165
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,126
I-I'm so sorry
this is last-minute,
166
00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:29,867
but can you clean
Merlin's robe?
167
00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:33,349
No!
We close at 4:30!
168
00:06:33,349 --> 00:06:35,656
But Merlin needs the robe today!
169
00:06:35,656 --> 00:06:38,136
4:30 is Miller time!
170
00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,921
It's when I meet the miller
down at the inn
171
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,749
and get drunk
on Coors Light!
172
00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:44,316
♪
173
00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:46,188
Coors Light?
174
00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:48,146
[applause]
175
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,673
Here's an opportunity
for you to support the girls,
176
00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,936
and you are just
sleeping through it again!
177
00:06:54,936 --> 00:06:57,199
[sighs]
I'm glad this is your last day.
178
00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:58,635
Shh.
179
00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:03,031
I was waiting and waiting,
and I hear a knock...
180
00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:06,077
a knock,
a knock on the door!
181
00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:07,644
But it was my mom.
182
00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:09,341
[chuckles]
183
00:07:09,341 --> 00:07:12,997
I was washing the dishes
and reading the newspaper
184
00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:17,262
when I hear a knock, a knock,
a knock on the door.
185
00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:20,004
But it was...
the mailman.
186
00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:21,919
[laughing]
187
00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:25,314
I opened the door,
it was...
188
00:07:25,314 --> 00:07:27,490
Cecelia and Tanya!
189
00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:28,883
[applause]
190
00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:31,886
[laughs] What?
Oh, my God!
191
00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:34,889
It was four girls
the whole time!
192
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:37,413
I thought it was just two girls,
but it was four!
193
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:39,633
Did you know?
How are you sitting?
194
00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:41,461
Rise!
195
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,246
Congratulations
on participating.
196
00:07:44,246 --> 00:07:46,857
What?
They didn't take first?
197
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:49,207
Oh, I get it. You're saying
girls can't be funny.
198
00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:50,687
Dad, be quiet!
199
00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:53,864
Now you're telling me
what to do?
200
00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:56,911
I-I'm making a... connection.
201
00:07:56,911 --> 00:08:01,393
[grunting]
202
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:03,961
- [applause]
- I got it!
203
00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:07,965
Girls are told by society
what they can and can't do!
204
00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:11,621
Just like I was told I couldn't
crash into the flagpole!
205
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,841
Hayley, have you
ever stopped to consider
206
00:08:13,841 --> 00:08:16,017
what it would be like
to live as a woman?
207
00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:17,322
The challenges
they face?
208
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:18,759
Dad, that's what I--
209
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:20,717
Not now!
The stars are coming.
210
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:23,851
Even though I completed
my 50 hours of service,
211
00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:25,461
I'm going to stick around
212
00:08:25,461 --> 00:08:27,594
and do everything I can
to help my girls.
213
00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:28,595
Your girls?
214
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:29,770
Yes.
215
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:33,425
- GIRLS: Mmm!
- Yes.
216
00:08:34,339 --> 00:08:36,907
♪
217
00:08:36,907 --> 00:08:39,431
I know that being a man
and leading this troop
218
00:08:39,431 --> 00:08:43,087
of future She-EOs
is intrinsically problematic.
219
00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:45,916
So I'm not here to talk.
I'm here to listen.
220
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:47,439
- Hayley?
- Today we're going to finish up
221
00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:49,311
- our keepsake pillows, take--
- One second.
222
00:08:49,311 --> 00:08:50,921
I don't want to interrupt
because I know men
223
00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:53,141
tend to interrupt,
but eww!
224
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:55,709
Ugh!
Making pillows?
225
00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:58,973
These girls shouldn't be
sewing pillows like homemakers.
226
00:08:58,973 --> 00:09:01,541
They should be making pills,
like scientists!
227
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:04,239
The biggest pills
the world has ever seen,
228
00:09:04,239 --> 00:09:07,634
pills the size of pillows
that kill the craziest diseases.
229
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:10,593
Girls, if you didn't have
Hayley's glass ceiling
230
00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:12,160
in your way,
what would you do?
231
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,597
Mmmm!
Pony camp?
232
00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:15,772
Pony camp!
233
00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:17,382
- Wow!
- That sounds fun!
234
00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:20,472
No!
Ponies are still small horses!
235
00:09:20,472 --> 00:09:21,561
You need to think big!
236
00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:25,042
I would go to
the National Girl Scouts
237
00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:27,392
Robotics Convention
in Baraboo, Wisconsin,
238
00:09:27,392 --> 00:09:29,220
and compete
for the Golden Beret!
239
00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:31,396
Holy [bleep]
That's it!
240
00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:33,094
I don't know what it is,
but it's it!
241
00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:36,227
Whoa, whoa! I think we're
getting ahead of ourselves.
242
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:38,186
Hayley, are you
mansplaining to me?
243
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:40,884
- Women can't mansplain.
- Wow.
244
00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:43,887
You got a whole long list
of things women can't do.
245
00:09:43,887 --> 00:09:46,629
Girls, we are going to go
to that convention,
246
00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:48,500
we are going to
win that Beret,
247
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,024
and I'm gonna
look great in it!
248
00:09:50,024 --> 00:09:51,591
[girls cheer]
249
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,418
I get it.
250
00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:56,639
But we don't even have enough
money to make dues right now.
251
00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:58,989
Maybe if we bring in enough
from cookie sales?
252
00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:00,817
- Cookies?
- Girl Scout cookies.
253
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:03,124
Your big idea
is cookies?
254
00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:06,257
Oh, like little Susie Homemaker
baking for the boys.
255
00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:07,824
Why don't we just put them
in skirts, Hayley?
256
00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:09,086
That's what we do.
257
00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:10,740
Oh, my God!
258
00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:14,309
If we're going to make money,
we need to saturate the market
259
00:10:14,309 --> 00:10:16,441
with something that
shatters gender norms.
260
00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:19,009
That sketch proved
your strong suit is legs.
261
00:10:19,009 --> 00:10:20,794
What other legs
are there?
262
00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:25,059
Crab legs, spider legs,
piano legs, turkey legs.
263
00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:26,713
Turkey legs?
264
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,018
[laughter]
265
00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:29,716
Yes! That's it!
266
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:32,849
Turkey legs! Great big ones
you get at the fair!
267
00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:35,243
That idea gets my approving
laughter as well!
268
00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:37,245
Ha ha ha ha!
269
00:10:37,245 --> 00:10:40,509
♪ Mmm, I said,
I took it and I ran for it♪
270
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:42,511
♪ I won it then I stand on it♪
271
00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:44,556
♪ Money on the floor
when we dance on it♪
272
00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:46,341
♪ Shine bright,
finna put a tan on it♪
273
00:10:46,341 --> 00:10:48,082
♪ I'm a bitch, I'm a boss♪
274
00:10:48,082 --> 00:10:50,084
♪ I'm a bitch and a boss,
I'm-a shine like gloss♪
275
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:53,217
♪ I'm a bitch, I'm a boss,
I'm a bitch and a boss...♪
276
00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:55,089
We're not basting
fast enough!
277
00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:57,961
Don't worry, Troop Leader Smith!
I built something to help.
278
00:10:57,961 --> 00:10:59,833
Lissy, you're a genius!
279
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:02,226
This will make production
twice as fast.
280
00:11:02,226 --> 00:11:03,880
Could we let the arm
do the turkey killing
281
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,926
so we don't have to?
282
00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:08,668
No. Hand strangling is
a big part of our brand.
283
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,540
♪ [trilling] Aah! Aah!♪
284
00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:14,412
♪ Aaaah!♪
285
00:11:14,412 --> 00:11:16,197
♪ I'm a boss, I'm a bitch♪
286
00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:19,026
♪ I'm a bitch, I'm a boss,
I'm a bitch and a boss♪
287
00:11:19,026 --> 00:11:21,202
♪ I'm a bitch and a boss,
I'm-a shine like gloss♪
288
00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:22,943
♪ I'm a bitch, I'm a boss♪
289
00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:24,858
♪ I'm a bitch and a boss,
I'm-a shine like gloss♪
290
00:11:24,858 --> 00:11:26,903
♪ I'm a bitch, I'm a boss♪
291
00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:28,905
♪ I'm a bitch and a boss,
I'm-a shine like gloss♪
292
00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:31,647
-♪ I'm a bitch, I'm a boss♪
- [turkey gobbles]
293
00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:33,475
That was a disaster!
294
00:11:33,475 --> 00:11:35,825
We didn't even sell
a single leg!
295
00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:38,567
You just kept handing money back
and forth with one customer!
296
00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,221
Yeah, I'm afraid
what happened there
297
00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:42,179
was a classic
quick-change scam.
298
00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:43,964
He took me
for 1,600 dollars.
299
00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:46,096
[horn honks, metal scraping]
300
00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:47,837
Only one person
is rich enough
301
00:11:47,837 --> 00:11:49,839
to drive that close
to buildings.
302
00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:51,798
Filibuster Q. Jorgenson!
303
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:54,104
The carwash magnate
of Langley!
304
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:55,976
And he's here
to make a deal!
305
00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:58,326
You wanna buy
all the turkey legs.
306
00:11:58,326 --> 00:12:01,329
No.
The legs are disgusting.
307
00:12:01,329 --> 00:12:03,113
But the boys
down on the docks
308
00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:06,116
say that you've got an arm,
a robot arm.
309
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:07,770
I want to buy
the patent.
310
00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:10,512
And I'm in the mood to spend
a lot of money on it.
311
00:12:10,512 --> 00:12:12,296
Can you pay me
in LazerCoin?
312
00:12:12,296 --> 00:12:14,908
It's a highly volatile
cryptocurrency. Can't lose.
313
00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:17,693
- O-kay...
- Deal!
314
00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:19,608
We're going
to Baraboo!
315
00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:21,915
- Baraboo!
- Yay, yay
316
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:25,048
I'm-a keep that "boo" going
for our hater-in-chief Hayley!
317
00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:27,398
Boo!
318
00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:30,010
♪
319
00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:32,795
MERTZ: This is for exposing
yourself to my aunt!
320
00:12:32,795 --> 00:12:34,492
She worked so hard
to become
321
00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:36,625
the family's
first female exterminator!
322
00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:39,193
She's a trailblazer!
323
00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:42,762
♪
324
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,765
It's working!
Oh, no, no, no, no!
325
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,810
These were iron-ons?
326
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:50,552
Wow, I expected more
from a robe made by...
327
00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:52,162
H?
328
00:12:52,162 --> 00:12:53,685
Ugh!
329
00:12:55,383 --> 00:12:57,167
You want me to hack
into the troop's
330
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:59,822
LazerCoin account
and drain the funds.
331
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:01,868
- Why?
- So that Dad
332
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:04,044
will look like a failure
and leave the troop in shame.
333
00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:06,829
- But won't that hurt the girls?
- Only at first.
334
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:09,049
It'll be way worse
if Dad takes them
335
00:13:09,049 --> 00:13:11,268
all the way to Nationals
and humiliates them.
336
00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:13,880
May I articulate
a theme here?
337
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,099
Are you sure you're not
jealous of the girls?
338
00:13:16,099 --> 00:13:18,449
Stan has been showing them
the love and support
339
00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:20,974
you never received
when you were a Girl Scout.
340
00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:24,020
Perhaps this is why you feel
the need to sabotage them.
341
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:28,155
That's ridiculous! I'm doing
this for those little bitches!
342
00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:29,852
Well, let's get Jurgen
to hack them.
343
00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:32,246
I don't know anything
about computers.
344
00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:34,857
♪
345
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,554
[girls sobbing]
346
00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:38,556
Oh, noooo.
347
00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:41,298
Did you lose all
your LazerCoin money?
348
00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,997
No, we're crying
because you...
349
00:13:43,997 --> 00:13:45,868
betrayed us.
350
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:48,523
Lissy here just earned
her hacking badge.
351
00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:51,743
She hack-blocked your hack
and traced it back to you.
352
00:13:51,743 --> 00:13:56,487
You are banished
from Troop 7307!
353
00:13:56,487 --> 00:13:57,924
Wh-a-a-at?
354
00:13:57,924 --> 00:13:59,621
I said...
355
00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,492
♪ You're dead to us!♪
356
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,407
♪ I said you're dead to us!♪
357
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,061
♪ We hope you die♪
358
00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:07,368
♪ Don't come back
or show your face to us♪
359
00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:09,022
♪ We hope you die♪
360
00:14:09,022 --> 00:14:11,328
♪ Don't come back
or show your face to us♪
361
00:14:11,328 --> 00:14:13,243
- Oh, yeah!
- Oh, yeah!
362
00:14:13,243 --> 00:14:15,158
- Uh-huh!
- Uh-huh!
363
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:17,291
- One more time!
- One more time!
364
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:19,423
- Quiet style!
- Quiet style!
365
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:21,861
[hushed]
♪ Hayley's dead to us♪
366
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:25,777
♪
367
00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:28,302
Okay, if we're going to win
the Golden Beret,
368
00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,347
we need to make
our robot deadly.
369
00:14:30,347 --> 00:14:32,784
- Or useful!
- Useful for killing?
370
00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:34,351
How about a robot
that cleans up?
371
00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:36,745
The bodies
of your enemies.
372
00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:38,573
No. Like your house.
373
00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:40,401
- [fingers snap]
- Like a Roomba!
374
00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:43,360
Well, why didn't you
just say that, Lissy?
375
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,580
But what's the problem
with Roombas?
376
00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:48,235
They can't get over door jambs,
no kill features.
377
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:50,715
We're gonna fix that with
this troop's bread and butter--
378
00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:52,152
legs!
379
00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:57,113
Has someone been using
my basketball?
380
00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:59,115
Because I heard
the distinct sound
381
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:01,248
of someone dribbling
my basketball.
382
00:15:01,248 --> 00:15:03,163
We haven't touched
your basketball!
383
00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:05,208
Well, don't.
384
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:06,906
What's this
nerd scribble?
385
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,299
That's the robot we're
designing for Nationals.
386
00:15:09,299 --> 00:15:12,476
[mocking] "Ehhh!
That's the robot! Ehhh."
387
00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:14,000
Get a life, Lissy.
388
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,480
You wanna build something?
Build a boyfriend.
389
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,266
Back off my girls,
Hayley!
390
00:15:19,266 --> 00:15:21,311
Your girls? Hah!
391
00:15:21,311 --> 00:15:22,878
You may have
gotten lucky, Dad,
392
00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:25,272
but the tables
are about to turn.
393
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,754
What's wrong with Hayley?
Is she going through menopause?
394
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:31,539
Or did she get
her first period?
395
00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:33,628
She's probably mad you
were never into Girl Scouts
396
00:15:33,628 --> 00:15:34,672
when she did it.
397
00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:36,457
Hayley was
a Girl Scout?
398
00:15:36,457 --> 00:15:40,461
♪
399
00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:43,681
[whirring]
400
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,335
No competition
in sight.
401
00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:48,034
The Golden Beret
is pretty much ours.
402
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:49,209
[choir vocalizes]
403
00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:51,037
Her Majesty!
404
00:15:53,343 --> 00:15:57,826
We have a late entry.
Troop 1622!
405
00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:02,004
Troop 1622, present
for competition.
406
00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:03,440
What the hell
are you doing here?
407
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,051
Where'd you get that bot?
408
00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:07,314
Roger, did you have sex
with a robot maker?
409
00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:10,578
I'm like eight years old,
you sick [bleep]
410
00:16:10,578 --> 00:16:13,320
ANNOUNCER:
Robots to the competition ring!
411
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,235
[whirring]
412
00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:17,541
♪
413
00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:18,629
[beep]
414
00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:21,632
♪
415
00:16:21,632 --> 00:16:23,025
[all gasp]
416
00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:25,680
[whirring]
417
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,464
[gun cocks]
418
00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:29,249
- [whirring stops]
- [sobs]
419
00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:37,213
♪
420
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:39,041
[all gasp]
421
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:43,872
Dammit. Mr. Belvedere himself
couldn't do it better.
422
00:16:43,872 --> 00:16:47,615
The world is facing disconnect
due to globalization.
423
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:50,618
How would you foster
a greater sense of oneness?
424
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,576
BUTLER BOT: [sweetly]
Hate turns to anger.
425
00:16:52,576 --> 00:16:54,578
Anger leads to fear.
426
00:16:54,578 --> 00:16:56,972
Fear leads to suffering.
427
00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:59,148
[cheers and applause]
428
00:16:59,148 --> 00:17:01,324
Come on!
She's gotta be cheating!
429
00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:03,283
There's probably
a parrot in there!
430
00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:06,112
Spider Bot,
same question.
431
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,939
SPIDER BOT: [distorted]
Destroy dust!
432
00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:09,811
Annihilate grime!
433
00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:12,901
[cheers and applause]
434
00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:15,512
♪
435
00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:17,732
What's alarming about
Steve's case is that
436
00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:20,952
even in his fantasies he remains
under extreme duress.
437
00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:23,085
We may need to think
about medication
438
00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:26,001
and even institutionalization.
439
00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:28,917
Do you understand
what that means, Steve?
440
00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:30,179
Steve?
441
00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:31,920
♪
442
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,530
I can't believe
I found a seamstress
443
00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:35,663
who could remake the robe
in time!
444
00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:38,448
[gasps] Oh, no!
These are the wrong moons!
445
00:17:38,448 --> 00:17:41,582
These are waning!
Merlin only wears waxing!
446
00:17:41,582 --> 00:17:45,151
It's over! I'm done!
He's gonna turn me into a newt!
447
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:47,762
MERLIN: Steve.
I've come for my robe.
448
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,461
Looks great!
Thanks, Steve.
449
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:55,204
[sighs] I can't believe
he didn't notice.
450
00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:57,685
What a day it's been
in the life of Merlin...
451
00:17:57,685 --> 00:17:59,643
ziz secretary.
452
00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:01,906
Oh, and, Steve, what's
the ETA on that salad?
453
00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:03,038
Salad?
454
00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:05,214
My... salad?
455
00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:10,045
The salad! The salad!
The salad!!
456
00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:13,092
A salad
does sound good.
457
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,658
There's a new salad place
across the street.
458
00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:16,007
Great!
459
00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:18,749
They even give you
a free piece of pita bread.
460
00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:21,100
Finally,
a good therapist!
461
00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:24,929
And the Golden Beret
goes to...
462
00:18:24,929 --> 00:18:26,540
[drumroll]
463
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:30,979
...Troop 7307
and the Spider Bot!
464
00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:32,807
- [cheers and applause]
- Yeah ha ha!
465
00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:34,765
Dana! Come here.
466
00:18:34,765 --> 00:18:36,637
Tanya! Where's Lissy?
467
00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:39,770
Dad! We won the Golden Beret
with my invention!
468
00:18:39,770 --> 00:18:42,556
Not now, Lissy.
I'm ordering socks online.
469
00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:44,253
[beep]
470
00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:46,951
What?
How could he not care?
471
00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:50,259
How could he ignore
his amazing, gifted daughter?
472
00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:51,739
Oh, my God.
473
00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:55,395
I-- I'm making
a connection...
474
00:18:55,395 --> 00:18:57,701
[grunting]
475
00:18:57,701 --> 00:18:59,964
♪
476
00:18:59,964 --> 00:19:01,531
[grunting]
477
00:19:01,531 --> 00:19:05,535
♪
478
00:19:05,535 --> 00:19:07,755
Close enough.
479
00:19:07,755 --> 00:19:10,018
I have something to say
that I should have said
480
00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:12,020
a long time ago.
481
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:14,196
Hayley, I never
gave you the support
482
00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:15,893
and encouragement
you deserve.
483
00:19:17,025 --> 00:19:18,461
You're a great kid.
484
00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:22,683
Troop 7307 forfeits.
485
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,687
This award belongs
to you, Hayley.
486
00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:28,036
Thanks, Dad.
487
00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:31,648
♪
488
00:19:31,648 --> 00:19:33,737
That's not yours
to give away!
489
00:19:33,737 --> 00:19:36,044
Lissy, look, someday
you'll understand
490
00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:37,263
when you have a daughter.
491
00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:38,699
Or your dad
will understand
492
00:19:38,699 --> 00:19:40,483
when he goes through
an adventure like mine.
493
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:43,399
Spider Bot,
activate kill mode.
494
00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:45,488
[whirring]
495
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:47,142
[screeching]
496
00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:49,231
[sweetly]
She gave it a kill mode.
497
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:51,146
Protect us, Butler Bot!
498
00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:52,887
[parrot squawking]
499
00:19:52,887 --> 00:19:56,673
♪
500
00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:57,935
[snarling]
501
00:19:57,935 --> 00:20:02,113
♪
502
00:20:02,113 --> 00:20:03,941
[snarling]
503
00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:06,422
[whirring]
504
00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:09,469
Hayley, aim for the small square
on its undercarriage!
505
00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:11,079
That's its weak spot!
506
00:20:11,079 --> 00:20:12,776
Why would you make
a weak spot?
507
00:20:12,776 --> 00:20:14,561
It was gonna be
a frozen-yogurt dispenser,
508
00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:17,128
but Lissy overpromised again
and ran out of time.
509
00:20:21,176 --> 00:20:24,179
I can't do it! You take the
shot. You're the weapons expert!
510
00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:25,963
But you're the Scout.
511
00:20:25,963 --> 00:20:27,661
I believe in you, Hayley.
512
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:31,621
- [clang]
- Ahh!
513
00:20:31,621 --> 00:20:34,711
LISSY:
Deactivate kill mode!
514
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:35,930
It's not even worth it.
515
00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:37,453
[whirring, thud]
516
00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:39,281
Come on, Spider Bot.
Let's go home.
517
00:20:42,719 --> 00:20:44,591
You want me to pull that out?
518
00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:47,333
[straining] Probably not.
It might be keeping me alive.
519
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,422
Whew, man!
I haven't run that fast
520
00:20:49,422 --> 00:20:51,380
since I ran track
in high school.
521
00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:53,861
You ran track
in high school?
522
00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:56,298
♪
523
00:20:56,298 --> 00:20:58,213
Bye! Have a beautiful time!
524
00:20:58,263 --> 00:21:02,813
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