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1
00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:04,320
WOMAN: Good morning!
2
00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:07,600
I'm Maureen Maclntyre,
and we have got a...
3
00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:09,280
Dog outside, please.
4
00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,440
How do I connect my
phone to this speaker?
5
00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:13,720
I want some
ambience, not this...
6
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:16,120
Well, what is this? What on
earth are you listening to?
7
00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:17,600
Golden Waves Radio.
8
00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:19,080
That's Maureen's
Magical Mornings.
9
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,160
Use salt instead of sugar.
10
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,840
Could you imagine that?
I mean, imagine that!
11
00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:27,880
Or maybe, like me, you've tried to
chop a tomato with a blunt knife.
12
00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:30,680
Good Lord, how banal. We'd
like to hear your anecdote.
13
00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:32,880
Give us a call. I've
got an anecdote.
14
00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:34,880
Remember when I ran
out of soy sauce?
15
00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:36,920
Oh, I remember that,
Dad. Classic story.
16
00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:38,280
You should definitely phone in.
17
00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:39,800
No, I don't think so, Tony.
18
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,600
There you go.
(WHALE SONG PLAYS)
19
00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:44,840
There's your whale noises.
20
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:48,640
Now you can crack on with this
strenuous yoga you're doing.
21
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,520
Dear? Mmm?
22
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:54,840
Do you think it's odd
that Helen never goes out?
23
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:58,640
All she seems to do is
work and walk the dog.
24
00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,040
Well, maybe we should
introduce her to some people.
25
00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:02,120
Who do we know?
26
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:04,880
Well, it's hard, isn't it?
27
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:06,440
She's a tricky one to match up.
28
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,080
Ooh, what about the
Men's Shed on the corner?
29
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:11,640
That place we thought
was a gay bar?
30
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,016
Turned out to be full of straight
men, drinking instant coffee
31
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:15,440
and building bird houses.
32
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,480
What do you think?
33
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:20,920
(SNORES)
34
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,640
Helen, hurry up, please. I
need to make an announcement.
35
00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,240
Good morning. Reporting in
for the big announcement.
36
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:44,320
Finally.
37
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:48,000
Well, today is the official opening
of Conch Mediation Services.
38
00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:49,840
New signage happening
as we speak.
39
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,680
Well done, Roz. Thank you.
40
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,520
To mark the occasion, we're
upgrading a few things around here.
41
00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:57,560
Raymond?
42
00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,960
Alrighty, team, what's better
than dollar-brew coffee?
43
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,640
Pondwater? Loving the jokes.
44
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:02,920
I'll tell you what's better.
45
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:06,960
45-cent coffee, brewed
right here on the premises.
46
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:10,480
Oh, nice one. Guess we won't
be needing this any more.
47
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,560
Or this. No, don't be silly.
48
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,560
We're gonna need that
for tea. Yeah, sorry.
49
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,080
Mind you, who's gonna need tea
50
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:21,760
now that we've got George
Clooney-grade expresso?
51
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:22,800
Yeah!
52
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,160
Come on, mate, don't
be silly. OK. Rules.
53
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,320
These pods are for
client use only.
54
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,120
Please buy your own
pods for personal use.
55
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:33,080
What? We have to buy pods if we
want to drink coffee at the office?
56
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,080
Oh, come on. Are you
serious? Yes, McEnroe.
57
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:37,760
We're running a
business, not a cafe.
58
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:41,560
Correct. BYO pods if you want
to enjoy the espresso machine.
59
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:44,480
Careful, Roz. Doing accents
like that is a bit racist.
60
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:47,400
What? No, it isn't.
I'm speaking Italian.
61
00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:49,280
Parlo Italiano.
62
00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:51,480
Well, scusa. Back-a to work-a.
63
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:53,920
Ooh, that is a little
bit racist, Roz.
64
00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,440
Helen, what are
you doing? Hey.
65
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,440
I work long hours, I don't get paid
overtime and I'm not a partner.
66
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,520
The least they can do is
provide a bloody espresso.
67
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,280
Can you make me one
too, please? Yep, sure.
68
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,640
What do you want, double
podder? Yeah, double podder.
69
00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,080
Very sorry for your
loss. Thank you.
70
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:20,000
Come on through. I'm Helen.
Can I get you both a coffee?
71
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,000
Roz!
72
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:27,040
Roz? Mm?
73
00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:29,720
Where are the coffee
pods? I had to move them.
74
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,600
The honour system didn't
seem to be working.
75
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:33,440
Well, I need some.
I've got clients here.
76
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:38,000
I need four. Two for
each coffee. Two each?
77
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:39,800
Good Lord, they'll be
spinning like tops.
78
00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,720
You did tell them it's
very strong espresso?
79
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,480
Yes, they're
prepared to risk it.
80
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,440
Can you see it? Is it on
the roof? (PIGEON COOING)
81
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:56,880
Can't see it. I can hear it.
82
00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:02,040
I think it's in the
wall. In the wall?
83
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:03,360
God, it's driving me nuts.
84
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:04,840
I find it quite relaxing.
85
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,040
Sounds like a phone
ringing. (PHONE RINGING)
86
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,400
No, that is the phone ringing.
87
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,120
You should probably
answer that. Yeah.
88
00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:20,880
Mmm.
89
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:24,960
Mm, naughty.
90
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,240
We'll just wait till our
probate clerk gets in.
91
00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:30,840
Sorry, Helen. Yep.
92
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,520
Ah, just to catch you up.
93
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,080
Morrie and Gordon's mother
passed away recently.
94
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:36,840
Sorry for your loss.
Yeah, we did that bit.
95
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:38,456
I'm just stepping them
through the will now.
96
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,800
Yeah. I've been left
out. I'm getting nothing.
97
00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:41,880
Sorry for your loss.
98
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:43,520
That's what you get
for joining a cult.
99
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:45,120
It's not a cult.
100
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,720
My wife and I belong to the
Church of Barnabus the Believer.
101
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,080
That's exactly what I said.
102
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:50,880
It's a fundamentalist
Christian cult.
103
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,160
Yeah. Church of Barnabus? I
don't think I know that one.
104
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:54,880
Well, do you know Jesus Christ?
105
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,080
I know of him.
106
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:57,920
Well, why don't you
come down and meet him?
107
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,000
We do Pancakes and Prayer
every Saturday morning.
108
00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:02,480
Well, you know I'm
tempted by the pancakes,
109
00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:05,120
but I was brought up Catholic,
so I don't really do God.
110
00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:08,400
Well, without God, there
would be no pancakes.
111
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,480
(THUMPING) Yeah,
you got me there.
112
00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,600
George, can you go and
see what that banging is?
113
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:14,160
What's going on?
114
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,376
You were right. It's
definitely in the wall cavity.
115
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,560
I'm trying to drive it out.
116
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,200
Sorry. Can... can you excuse
me for just one minute?
117
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,456
There seems to be a document
missing from your mother's file.
118
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:28,680
I won't be a sec.
119
00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,160
Hang on, hang on.
120
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,160
It's over there. Further down.
121
00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:36,640
I reckon it's further.
122
00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,760
Yeah? Got it? Yep, got it.
123
00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:42,560
What have you done there?
124
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,120
Sorry.
125
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,000
Go on! Get out of there.
126
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,760
Mary and I are both
concerned about you, Gordon.
127
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,520
We don't want you going to hell.
128
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,040
I'm all good, mate.
129
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,920
Mum's down there,
which is a real shame.
130
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,120
But that's where you go if
you worship false idols.
131
00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:00,280
False idols?
132
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:01,520
She worshipped nature.
133
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,880
Yes, but who made
nature, Gordon?
134
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,920
God did. Hey!
135
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,480
Ah, they get it.
136
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,280
Roz. God.
137
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,000
That's your lot.
138
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:16,040
Rude.
139
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:17,960
I have the Lowry brothers
in the meeting room.
140
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,880
I think their mother
was a client of yours?
141
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,000
Ah, Gabrielle. Has
she passed away?
142
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:24,560
Yes, I'm afraid so, and there
seems to be a document missing
143
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:25,600
from the file.
144
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,000
Yes, a letter of wishes.
145
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,920
I put it aside, because this needs
to be handled very sensitively.
146
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,240
Well, I will be sensitive.
147
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,800
I think it's best I do it.
148
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:38,480
But Roz, you don't
work here any more.
149
00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:41,320
Did you forget? You left
to follow your passion.
150
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,520
You're Conch Mediation
now... Hello. I'm Roz Gruber.
151
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,320
I prepared your mother's
will, God rest her soul.
152
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,680
Oh, no rest for Mum's
soul, I'm afraid.
153
00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:50,960
She's downstairs.
154
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,600
Do you know Jesus, Mrs Gruber?
155
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:54,240
No-one knows him, mate. Shut up.
156
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,880
Sorry. Go on, Mrs Gruber.
157
00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,280
Actually, I can take it
from here, Mrs Gruber.
158
00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:01,440
Did Helen explain to you
what a letter of wishes is?
159
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,280
BOTH: No. Oh, Helen.
160
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:04,720
You took... How was I...
161
00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:09,520
A letter of wishes is like the
emotional explanation of the will.
162
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:13,000
Basically, it's Mum's way of
speaking to you from the grave.
163
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:16,800
Oh, I don't think we need
to imagine Mum in her grave.
164
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:18,080
OK, sorry.
165
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,960
(READS) "My darling boys.
166
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,760
"If you are hearing
this, it means I am dead.
167
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:28,520
"I died of a broken heart, and
complications from syphilis."
168
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,360
Wow, Mum's an open book.
169
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:34,360
"My dying wish is that you boys
should get the band back together."
170
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,040
We had a Bon Jovi cover band.
171
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:38,480
Oh, I love Bon Jovi!
172
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:40,600
Sorry.
173
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:42,480
"Morrie, when you left the band,
174
00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:44,880
"you left Gordon with
no source of income.
175
00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:47,440
"That is why I'm
leaving him everything."
176
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,320
OK. Thank you, Roz.
177
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,160
Can she do that?
Just cut me out?
178
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:54,280
She can, however, you would be
entitled to contest the will.
179
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:55,616
But what I tell
people... Helen...
180
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:56,976
Yes, I've got this,
thank you, Roz.
181
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,920
It's often better to sort
things out in the room
182
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,280
rather than let it go to court.
183
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:01,360
Helen...
184
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,800
So what I suggest is we reconvene
next week when you've had a chance
185
00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:05,840
to consider your options.
186
00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,000
Helen? Yes, Roz?
187
00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:08,760
There's a second page.
Great, let's hear it.
188
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,440
"Look for me in the skies.
189
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,640
"I am the bird you see soaring.
190
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:17,160
"Watch for me in the rivers, I
am the fish you see swimming.
191
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:21,320
"Listen for me in the trees, I
am the wind you hear blowing."
192
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,280
Yep, look out. Mum's everywhere.
193
00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,760
"Blessings from your
Mother, and Mother Earth."
194
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:26,880
Lovely. Mm.
195
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,160
Is that it? Yes.
196
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,320
Good. Let's get
together next week...
197
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,280
Oh, hang on. There's
a PS. Oh, good.
198
00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,560
"If you do get the
band back together,
199
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,080
"I think you should try and
get on Australia's Got Talent."
200
00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:38,600
That's a great idea. Mmm!
201
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,400
That was certainly
worth waiting for.
202
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:42,040
Good advice from Mum. Alright.
203
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,000
Hey... Hey, Ray? Yeah?
204
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,440
Can... can I have
a word about Roz?
205
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:52,480
About Roz? Yeah. Shh.
206
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:53,520
Make it quick.
207
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:56,080
George got it out of the wall,
but it's still lurking out there.
208
00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:58,280
Can you talk to her about
staying out of my business?
209
00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:59,696
She's been removing
documents from files.
210
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,056
She's been making me look like
an idiot in front of clients.
211
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,040
Look at it, trying to
find a way back in.
212
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,840
Did you hear what I said about Roz?
She's annoying. Is that the gist?
213
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:07,920
Yes. Noted.
214
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,880
Any idea how to get rid
of pigeons? Pigeon sack?
215
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:10,920
What?
216
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,720
I don't know, like
Ratsak, but for pigeons?
217
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,496
Jesus Christ, Fisk, we
don't want to kill it.
218
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,440
Yeah, we just want to
encourage it to move on.
219
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:17,520
OK, sorry. Spikes?
220
00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:18,760
Helen, that's barbaric.
221
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,520
Oh, I'm not saying you
stick its head on a spike.
222
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:22,720
Flashing lights?
223
00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:23,960
What about an owl, Georgie?
224
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,600
Yeah, owls are a
natural deterrent.
225
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,800
That's a good idea,
Ray. I'll get onto it.
226
00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:30,920
So will you talk to Roz? Yep.
227
00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:33,000
Thank you. About what?
228
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:46,560
Yes, Tony used to
have two of them.
229
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:49,240
But would you say birdhouses
are your most popular project?
230
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:50,880
Definitely, without a doubt.
231
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,760
Oh, Helen! Come in! Join us!
232
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,520
This is Howard
Muzzin. Hello, Howard.
233
00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:57,160
Hi. Howard runs
the Men's Shed.
234
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,600
Oh, the gay bar on the corner?
235
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,120
Oh, it's not a gay bar. It's...
236
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:01,280
What is it again, Howard?
237
00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,760
It's a place where gents can
socialise and get on the tools.
238
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,040
Oh, sounds exactly
like a gay bar.
239
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,640
It's very nice to
meet you, Helen.
240
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:10,120
Nice to meet you.
Sit down, Hels.
241
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,320
Oh, I can't. I've gotta
take the dog to the park...
242
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:15,080
Oh, come on. What are you drinking?
Anything you want. I'll make it.
243
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:18,800
Ooh, OK. I will have a pina
colada, please, Viktor.
244
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,560
Oh, God, I'm not making sick in
a glass. I'll do you a negroni.
245
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:23,360
Oh, no, Viktor, I
don't like negronis.
246
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:24,480
They taste like Actifed CC.
247
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:26,320
Oh, don't be silly,
they're delicious.
248
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,240
Go and talk to Howard.
He's recently widowed.
249
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,480
Oh, OK.
250
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,200
Yes.
251
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:33,240
Hi, Howard. Hi.
252
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:35,200
Viktor said your wife
passed away recently.
253
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,520
I'm very sorry for your
loss. Oh, thank you.
254
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:40,480
Yeah, if you ever need any help
with probate or anything like that,
255
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:44,560
I'm a wills and estate specialist,
so feel free to get in touch.
256
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,920
Helen, please don't
solicit in my living room.
257
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,040
What? Viktor just said...
258
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,680
No, no, no, you've ruined
it. Go and walk your dog.
259
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:53,080
But I was... touting
for business. Thank you.
260
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,280
So what's the tool with
the very sharp blade
261
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,000
that you use to
chisel away at wood?
262
00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,200
An auger? I think
it's an auger.
263
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,280
Well, well, well, we meet again.
264
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,720
Oh, hey! Men's Shed man.
265
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,240
Howard. Howard Muzzin.
266
00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:16,960
Thought I might run into you.
267
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,320
I've been here since six.
268
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:19,680
Have you? Have you got a dog?
269
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:20,720
No, but you do.
270
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,280
Yes.
271
00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:25,000
Look, Mr Muzzin, about last
night. I'm really sorry.
272
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:26,600
I thought you wanted
some legal advice.
273
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:29,600
No, I was simply looking
for some companionship.
274
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:31,320
Yeah, well, I don't
think Dad and Viktor
275
00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:32,896
are really Men's Shed
material, you know.
276
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,240
Neither one of them
any good on the tools.
277
00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:38,200
I was actually hoping
we could go to dinner.
278
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,400
Oh, you and Dad?
No, you and I.
279
00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:42,880
What? Why? Companionship.
280
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,280
Look, it gets a bit lonely
down there at the Men's Shed,
281
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:48,240
sipping Nescafe and banging
away at another birdhouse.
282
00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:49,320
Uh-huh.
283
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,440
Maybe I could make
Fluffy here a doghouse?
284
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:53,760
Well, it's Artie. What
do you think, Fluff?
285
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,560
A doghouse? (LAUGHS)
286
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:57,160
Yeah.
287
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,400
And don't worry, Helen,
I am not after sex.
288
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:00,760
Oh, good to know, yep...
289
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:03,560
No, the sex will come,
if there's a frisson.
290
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:04,800
Will it...
291
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,520
Yeah, I've got a good feeling
about this. What do you say?
292
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,760
Well, I actually...
293
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,280
I'm actually running late,
Howard, so I'm gonna...
294
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:13,480
..I'm gonna skip the coffee
this morning and, come on.
295
00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:14,640
OK. Let's go.
296
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:16,400
Bye. Let's go. Hustle, hustle.
297
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:17,640
See ya, Fluff!
298
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,920
It just gets
earlier and earlier.
299
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:27,080
Viktor, were you trying to set
me up on a date last night?
300
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,336
Yes, your father and I thought
you could use some company.
301
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:30,640
Are we talking about Howard?
302
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:33,440
What'd you think, Hels? He
seemed quite taken with you.
303
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,240
Yes, he's stalking me now.
304
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,816
Oh, that's wonderful. I really
thought you'd blown it last night.
305
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,080
Oh, come on! I'm not going
out with Howard Muzzin.
306
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,360
If you don't like Howard,
why don't you pop down
307
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,240
to the Men's Shed
and take your pick?
308
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,376
Yes, Helen, it's like a
widower's warehouse down there.
309
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,600
Oh, stop it, the pair of you.
310
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:51,520
Just be open to new people.
You can't keep the world out.
311
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:53,680
I'm not trying to keep
the world out, Dad.
312
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,200
Just old men
looking for frisson.
313
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,560
Hey, web master, is Roz in yet?
314
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:04,920
No. Great.
315
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:06,880
I'm gonna go get some
pods. Do you want some?
316
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,560
Are you stealing pods
from Roz's office?
317
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,320
Shh! It's not stealing.
318
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,960
An employer is obliged to provide
us with everything we need
319
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,080
to do our job, and that
includes hot beverages.
320
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:16,976
You know, she's locked
up the biscuits now, too.
321
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,680
Oh, so disrespectful.
322
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,160
It's like we're criminals.
323
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,760
So are you in? Yeah. Do it.
324
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,320
Get me a pod and a
biscuit. I'll keep lookout.
325
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:25,800
You're on.
326
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,600
Biscuits, and I wasn't
sure which ones you liked,
327
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,440
so I got you a selection.
328
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:44,680
My God, Helen, how
stupid, are you?
329
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,000
What? It's too many.
330
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:47,720
Roz is gonna notice.
God, you're right.
331
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,680
OK, well, take what you want.
332
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,120
How many do you want? Two.
333
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:52,800
OK, I'll put the rest back.
334
00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:54,600
And a biscuit.
335
00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:05,520
Come on through.
336
00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:08,920
I'm really excited
about this new chapter.
337
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,280
Mediation is such a
rewarding profession.
338
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:12,400
Hello, Roz!
339
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,360
Heading back to your
office with a client?
340
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,280
Please don't yell at me, George.
341
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:19,320
This is Larry, from the Australian
Mediation Standards Board.
342
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,040
Let me take you
through to the space.
343
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:22,640
Alright! Hi, Larry!
344
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,520
Roz'll take you through
to her office now!
345
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,480
Kokaw! Rowr!
346
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:36,120
Now, we do share kitchen
and bathroom facilities,
347
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:39,520
but this door allows me
to close the space off,
348
00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:42,360
and now we have a
lovely private bubble.
349
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:43,760
Just us.
350
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:44,920
Oh, hi, Roz.
351
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:49,040
Ah, I was just borrowing
your... stapler.
352
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,840
Did you need to do any
stapling before I go?
353
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:53,320
No. OK.
354
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:56,200
Well, I'm off... to
do some stapling.
355
00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,960
And here is your private bubble.
356
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,000
(WHISPERS) Just you.
357
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:07,280
She's part of a
charity intern scheme.
358
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,440
She has a very low IQ.
359
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,240
And the chap at the reception?
360
00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:13,680
Oh, him too.
361
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:20,960
Go on! Get out of there!
362
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,800
Don't... stare at me. Go!
363
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,400
Oh, she's annoying.
364
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,840
Oh! Please! Close this window!
365
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,560
Ray's convinced the pigeon's trying
to get back into the building.
366
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,640
Oh, OK. Do you have
something for me?
367
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,560
A stapler, perhaps?
368
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:38,880
Yes. Mmm.
369
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,040
A stapler.
370
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:41,960
There it is.
371
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,640
Sorry, just needed to do
some important stapling.
372
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,440
But it's done now. You
can have that back.
373
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:48,720
Mm-hm.
374
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:54,600
Gordon! Did you want to see me?
375
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:57,920
So I've decided I will split
the inheritance with Morrie.
376
00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,560
Oh, good on you. That
is really sensible.
377
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,640
It's gonnasave you a
lot of time and money.
378
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,200
But only if he rejoins the band.
379
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,680
Oh, OK. Do you think
he's going to do that?
380
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,680
No. He thinks Bon Jovi's
godless heavy metal.
381
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:09,720
Heavy metal?
382
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,360
See, I always had them down
as more of an '80s hair band.
383
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:13,936
Cock rock, that kind
of thing. Either way.
384
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,600
I was hoping that you'd
be able to convince him.
385
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:18,640
Convince... Oh, convince Morrie?
386
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,320
Yeah. Yeah.
387
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:23,120
Or I could... I
could call Mrs G.
388
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,720
Mrs G? Who's...? Oh, God, no, we
don't need to call Mrs Gruber.
389
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,600
No, I'll do it.
390
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:29,800
I'll sort it out.
You leave it with me.
391
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,320
In safe hands.
392
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,880
I'm onto this. I'll
give you a call, Gordon.
393
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,240
Don't need that.
394
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,280
What's that?
395
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,200
It's a scare owl.
396
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:44,400
Did you make that yourself,
George? My Grandma did.
397
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:45,720
She's really crafty.
398
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,000
As in good at
craft, not devious.
399
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,040
Looks like Giggle and
Hoot had a love child.
400
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:51,416
Yeah, I tried to
make it friendly.
401
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:56,120
See, it's suggesting that it would
be better to roost over there.
402
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,360
Very, very nice.
403
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:06,960
Yep, that's a beauty.
404
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:18,920
George!
405
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,960
Sorry, mate. I'm
turning the heat up.
406
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,760
I'm going with Fisk's
idea of flashing lights.
407
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,280
WOMAN: Good morning!
408
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:37,160
Coming up later this morning,
409
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,600
I talk to the Reverend
Donald Ledbetter
410
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,440
about the rise and
rise of Christian rock.
411
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,640
Forget about rocking
in the pubs and clubs,
412
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,880
it's all happening
in the church halls.
413
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:51,040
And there's a pretty
penny to be made, too.
414
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,320
Hallelujah, praise
his name. Let's go.
415
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:56,760
Come on! Attaboy.
416
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,640
Morning, Helen. Whoa! Hey.
417
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,160
Good morning. Where
were you? In the bushes?
418
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,680
I missed you at
the park yesterday,
419
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,760
so I thought today, I'll
catch you at the source.
420
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,280
Would you like to, ah,
stroll? Hello, Fluff.
421
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,160
Yeah, OK. Well, we
walk pretty fast, so.
422
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,280
I'm surprisingly spry.
423
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,880
Well, you'll have to keep up,
'cause we are in a hurry today.
424
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,760
So, yep. Ahh.
425
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,080
That's a bit fast
for me, I'm afraid.
426
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:22,480
Yep, I hoped it might be.
427
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,600
Well, maybe we could catch
up later for a pina colada
428
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,600
and we can chat about
Fluffy's doghouse design?
429
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:29,040
Sorry, can't hear you!
430
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:30,240
No problem.
431
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,840
You're a modern business lady.
432
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,000
Yeah, I like that.
433
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:38,360
I like it a lot.
434
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,480
(MUSIC PLAYS ON CAR RADIO)
435
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:52,120
WOMAN: And that was Praise To The
Lord by the Seventh Day Avengers.
436
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:56,320
Reverend, tell me, are these
bands all writing original tunes?
437
00:19:56,360 --> 00:20:00,000
MAN: Some do, others do covers.
Guns and Rosaries, for example.
438
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:03,320
It's basically rock and roll
without the sex and drugs.
439
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:06,280
Oh, well, good-o. I do not
like either of those things.
440
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:07,936
How does that song go?
441
00:20:07,961 --> 00:20:11,080
? Praise to the Lord
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
442
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:13,760
? Squibbly-dibbly-dibbly-dibbly... ?
Oh, mama.
443
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:27,400
Hey, web master, what
happened to Blinky?
444
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,560
I didn't see him out there.
Had to take him down.
445
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,920
The shopkeeper across
the road had a fit.
446
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,920
I know Roz and Ray
say that all the time,
447
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,440
but you shouldn't
use that expression.
448
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,400
No, Helen, they literally had a
fit 'cause of the flashing lights.
449
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:39,600
Oh, shit.
450
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:51,960
So the good news is
451
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,560
Gordon has very
sensibly, and generously,
452
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,160
decided to share
the inheritance.
453
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:57,600
I prayed that he would.
454
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,400
But only on the proviso that
you get the band back together,
455
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:01,800
as per your mother's dying wish.
456
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:02,920
Now, I understand that's...
457
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,000
How's it going in here?
Have we found a solution?
458
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,560
Almost. I was just
about to propose...
459
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,920
No, we have not. I will
not be rejoining the band.
460
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:11,720
OK. No deal, no money
for you, then. Great.
461
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:15,120
Ooh, looks like my services
are required here after all.
462
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,880
No. Mediation is a
wonderful process.
463
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:19,720
I think you'll get
a lot out of it.
464
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:22,480
Yeah, Roz, could I have a
word with you, out here?
465
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:23,880
Won't be a minute.
466
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,600
In your office, please?
467
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,520
Why is it...? Someone
was stealing staplers.
468
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:32,880
Firstly, please don't tout
for business in my meetings.
469
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,920
It's highly unethical. Oh!
Says the thief of staplers.
470
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,400
Secondly, I have
this under control,
471
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,160
and you barging in like
that is not helping.
472
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,536
You need to watch
your tone, Helen.
473
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,920
Yeah, well, you better
watch yours too, Roz.
474
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:47,800
Your tone. You watch it.
Because it's... rude.
475
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,120
God gave you those sweet pipes,
476
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,400
and I think that he would
want you to use them.
477
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,240
No, no, he doesn't. He
speaks to me regularly.
478
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:54,640
Never mentioned it. Well, OK.
479
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,200
Well, he's speaking to me
right now. What's that, God?
480
00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:00,360
Wow, he's saying that he wants
Morrie to rejoin the band.
481
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,440
Yeah, yeah, I know.
482
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:05,040
I mean, I tried to tell him
that, but he doesn't believe me.
483
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,400
Stop it. God is not speaking
to you. How do you know?
484
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,080
Because he just spoke to me then
485
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,976
and he said, "That's not
me speaking to Gordon."
486
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:14,240
OK, maybe if God could just shoosh
for a bit, I might have a solution.
487
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,960
Have either of you heard of the
radio station Golden Waves Radio?
488
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:21,480
What about the Christian Rock Hour
with Reverend Donald Ledbetter?
489
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,880
No? OK, what about the
band, The Last Supper Club?
490
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,880
The Seventh Day Avengers?
491
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:28,440
The Burning Bush Singers?
492
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:34,520
Yeah, so we've got no pubs or
clubs, remove any explicit lyrics,
493
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,320
make them more Jesus-y.
494
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:37,360
That's a great idea!
495
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,480
And you'd only perform
at church halls.
496
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:40,880
Yeah, great. Alright.
497
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,400
Well, I think we have a deal.
498
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,560
The Lowry brothers are about
to become the first ever
499
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:50,840
Fundamentalist Christian Bon Jovi
cover band, Living On A Prayer.
500
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:52,000
Ah...
501
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:53,960
Yep?
502
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,280
God says it's OK.
503
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:56,560
Good. Loves it.
504
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,560
Great. Good stuff.
505
00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:09,200
Hey, Howard! Ahh!
506
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:11,480
Helen, so glad you called.
507
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:14,080
Rustled up a little
something. Voila.
508
00:23:14,120 --> 00:23:16,800
Wow. That is absolutely perfect.
509
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,200
Thank you so much.
510
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,120
Still a hard no on the frisson.
511
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,880
Well, time takes
care of everything.
512
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:26,600
Not enough time in the world for
that, but I do appreciate this.
513
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,600
Come on, Artie, let's go.
Oh, wait. Wait a minute.
514
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:32,160
Before you go, I have a distinct
recollection of you saying that
515
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:36,960
you loved nothing more
than a cheeky pina colada.
516
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:40,200
Yeah, not necessarily
at seven in the morning.
517
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,080
Argh.
518
00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:44,320
You know what? It's
mostly juice. Why not?
519
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,480
You want a humane solution?
520
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:58,120
Well, this is how you encourage
a pigeon to roost elsewhere.
521
00:23:58,160 --> 00:23:59,320
Nice one, Helen.
522
00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:01,680
Just put it as far away
from my office as possible.
523
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,760
I don't want to
hear it. You got it.
524
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:26,440
Oh!
525
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:37,400
Raymond, can I have a word with
you in my office about Helen?
526
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:38,880
About Fisk?
527
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:42,800
Close the door.
Close the door.
528
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:44,600
Absolutely.
529
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:49,280
She's developing quite the
attitude. I don't like it.
530
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,280
I think you might need
to back off a bit.
531
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,560
Me? I meant we. Both of us.
532
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:55,800
She's turned out to be a
pretty good probate lawyer.
533
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,240
Well, I was her
mentor. Exactly.
534
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,160
And the mentee is now mented.
535
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:02,280
That is not a word.
536
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:03,440
Munted?
537
00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:06,880
Point is, I think
you and I - we -
538
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,120
need to give Fisk a
little more respect.
539
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:10,840
She knows what she's
doing. (KNOCKING)
540
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:16,680
Hi, guys.
541
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:18,440
I'm locked out.
542
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,040
(BIRDHOUSE IN YOUR SOUL BY
THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS PLAYS)
543
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:38,320
(COOING)
544
00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:40,760
Gruber & Associates,
George speaking.
545
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:42,720
Hello?
546
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:55,520
Pigeons.
547
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,160
Some people have called
them the rats of the sky,
548
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,440
and other cultures worship them.
549
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:01,920
What do I think?
550
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,600
Well, I think they're just nice.
551
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:04,920
Thanks for watching Fisk.
552
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:06,280
(LAUGHS)
553
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:07,520
Captions by Red Bee Media
554
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:09,320
Copyright Australian
Broadcasting Corporation
555
00:26:09,370 --> 00:26:13,920
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
42040
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