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1
00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:13,752
Uh. Sam, do you mind
asking Jay to move to the couch?
2
00:00:13,883 --> 00:00:16,407
Okay. Why?
3
00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:19,454
- What?
- Sass just came in and he
wants you to move seats?
4
00:00:19,584 --> 00:00:21,934
Well, for about six minutes
every afternoon, that chair
5
00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:23,675
is bathed in a
shaft of light
6
00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:26,896
and it feels really nice.
7
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,506
We don't have
a lot going on, Sam.
8
00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:30,726
He likes the shaft of light.
9
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,207
Sure, buddy. Go for it.
10
00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:34,469
Yes!
11
00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:39,256
Oh.
12
00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:41,432
Oh, crap...
13
00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:43,086
Too late. I got the shaft.
14
00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:45,871
Damn it.
I snooze-eth and lose-eth.
15
00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:49,397
Sass, I'll give you
ten back rubs for the seat.
16
00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:50,702
I'll make it 20.
17
00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:52,269
That's a pretty generous offer.
18
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,011
100 back rubs!
19
00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:56,273
You got yourself a deal.
20
00:00:57,753 --> 00:01:00,234
I'm sorry, what is
going on? Back rubs?
21
00:01:00,364 --> 00:01:01,278
You don't know
about the back rubs?
22
00:01:01,409 --> 00:01:03,237
How does she not know
about the back rubs?
23
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,369
Honestly, I try to shut a
lot of this ghost stuff out.
24
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:07,241
You don't deserve
this power.
25
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,460
Back rubs are like
our ghost currency.
26
00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:11,767
We can't handle money,
so centuries ago
27
00:01:11,897 --> 00:01:13,508
we decided on back rubs.
28
00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:15,510
The problem is, no one
can compete with Hetty.
29
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,033
Through a combination
30
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,948
of shrewd bargaining
and a general disdain
31
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,428
for physical touch...
32
00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:21,907
Hmm....which leads her
33
00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:23,300
to never cash them in,
34
00:01:23,431 --> 00:01:26,260
Hetty has amassed a vast
wealth of back rubs.
35
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:28,218
It's not fair. Hetty's
constantly outbidding me.
36
00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:29,306
I've only been
dead for 20 years.
37
00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:30,829
I don't have the capital.
38
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,223
Well, Trevor,
that's just how the world works.
39
00:01:33,354 --> 00:01:35,747
You're new money and
you always will be.
40
00:01:35,878 --> 00:01:36,879
In the meantime,
41
00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:39,360
it is I who gets the shaft.
42
00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:43,320
And, let me tell you,
it feels so good.
43
00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:54,026
And here's your change, $1.50.
44
00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:55,419
Enjoy your blender.
45
00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:57,334
No returns.
46
00:01:57,465 --> 00:02:00,468
Hey, man, could you go
a little lower on this lamp?
47
00:02:00,598 --> 00:02:04,167
Wish we could, but we didn't
get rich by giving things away.
48
00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:07,257
No, you got rich by inheriting
all my money when I died.
49
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,738
Henry, I think we have
a live one in cookware.
50
00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:12,784
Hey, that's my Jell-O mold.
51
00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:15,091
Put that down.
That is a family heirloom!
52
00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:16,658
Hey, Jay, do you see
53
00:02:16,788 --> 00:02:18,138
that guy over there?
He's dressed
54
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:19,530
like one
of your Ren fair buddies.
55
00:02:19,661 --> 00:02:22,011
The only thing I see
is a cheapskate
56
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,447
with a mustache
and a fanny pack.
57
00:02:23,578 --> 00:02:25,841
Oh, my God,
he's a Viking ghost.
58
00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:27,364
Thor's gonna have
so many questions.
59
00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:29,105
I have to go talk to him.
60
00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:31,586
Excuse me. May I use
your restroom, please?
61
00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:34,632
I'm sorry,
it's for paying customers only.
62
00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:37,592
Okay, uh, Jay,
just buy the lamp.
63
00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:41,073
Thank you for undermining
my bargaining power, babe.
64
00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:46,296
Hmm.
65
00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:49,778
That's kinda cool.
Sam loves fruit art.
66
00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:51,258
Why is it upside down?
67
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,999
It's because
they're swingers.
68
00:02:54,130 --> 00:02:56,263
That's right.
My son's a pervert.
69
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:58,656
Oh, hey, man, uh...
70
00:02:58,787 --> 00:03:00,397
This is a pretty cool
upside down pineapple.
71
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,704
Oh, are you into that?
72
00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:04,096
Sicko!
73
00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:08,579
A little, but honestly,
Sam really loves it.
74
00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:12,061
Really? Well,
isn't she full of surprises?
75
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,671
She learned about it in college.
76
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,282
I'll bet.
77
00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:17,066
Where did I go wrong?
78
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,376
And now the chair
is cold. Damn it.
79
00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:24,856
People don't understand
how nice a warm chair is
80
00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:26,031
when you don't
have pants on.
81
00:03:26,162 --> 00:03:27,555
- You okay, buddy?
- Pete,
82
00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:28,643
it's not fair how much richer
83
00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:30,210
Hetty is than the rest of us.
84
00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:32,081
Yeah, she throws around
her back rub wealth,
85
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,604
but what are you gonna do
about it?
86
00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,519
I don't know,
but we should do something.
87
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:37,782
She sits here
lording it over us.
88
00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:39,654
She's like those two old
rich guys from Trading Places.
89
00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:42,657
Oh, great flick.
Oh! Maybe I should choose it
90
00:03:42,787 --> 00:03:44,224
this week, when it's my turn
to pick TV time.
91
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:47,444
That's it.
92
00:03:48,837 --> 00:03:49,707
TV time.
93
00:03:49,838 --> 00:03:50,839
What-- What about it?
94
00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:52,536
That's how I take Hetty down.
95
00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:54,146
Yes, she's been around
a long time,
96
00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:55,974
but I was
a Wall Street whiz kid.
97
00:03:56,105 --> 00:03:58,934
And you just gave me an idea
for a new financial instrument.
98
00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:00,675
It's simple as long as you
understand the basic principles
99
00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:03,765
of market power and the downward
sloping demand curve.
100
00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:05,767
Okay.
101
00:04:05,897 --> 00:04:08,857
Well, I'm out. But have fun.
102
00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:12,295
Hey, big fella,
103
00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:13,905
it's okay.
I'm a friend.
104
00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:16,125
In Odin's name,
how can you see me?
105
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,605
I fell down some stairs
106
00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:18,780
and was technically dead
for three minutes--
107
00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:20,738
it's a whole thing--
but who are you?
108
00:04:20,869 --> 00:04:23,741
I'm Bjorn.
109
00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:26,440
I'm from the land of Norvegr.
110
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:29,530
I died on this property
many, many moons ago.
111
00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:32,010
Okay. Uh, well,
this is kind of a long shot,
112
00:04:32,141 --> 00:04:35,623
but I live nearby and I know
another Viking ghost, Thorfinn.
113
00:04:35,753 --> 00:04:37,407
Big man. Beard.
114
00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:38,365
Yes, exactly.
115
00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:39,844
Abandoned by his shipmates.
116
00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:41,585
Yes! Do you know him?
117
00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:44,414
It is he who I came looking for.
118
00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:47,852
You see, I am...
119
00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:49,550
his son.
120
00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:57,949
What is it?
What must you tell Thor?
121
00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,517
Okay. Well, like I
said, it's big news.
122
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,040
I'm talking
earth-shattering.
123
00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:03,477
Well, he might want
to sit down for this.
124
00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:05,130
- I-Is he sitting down?
- Yes, Jay.
125
00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:06,784
How do they sit on furniture?
126
00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:08,177
Wouldn't they just
go through it?
127
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,875
You said they just go
through walls, right?
128
00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:13,965
Whoa, this is gonna spin me
out for the whole afternoon.
129
00:05:14,096 --> 00:05:16,925
By the loins of Freya,
tell Thor the news!
130
00:05:17,055 --> 00:05:18,970
Okay, Thor. So, I went
over to the Farnsbys'
131
00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:23,061
and I met a ghost.
He was a Viking ghost.
132
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:25,020
He was your son Bjorn.
133
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,588
How do you know this name?
134
00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:29,329
I just told you I met him.
135
00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:32,070
Is impossible.
136
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:34,290
You're saying that my son,
who I haven't seen
137
00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:37,075
in a thousand years,
has been two ship lengths away
138
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,599
this entire time.
139
00:05:38,729 --> 00:05:40,165
I know, it's so crazy,
140
00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:42,559
but it's true. I would
never lie about this.
141
00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:47,695
You met my baby Bjorn?
142
00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:50,001
Well, he's all
grown up now.
143
00:05:50,132 --> 00:05:54,049
Last I saw him,
he was just a...
144
00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:55,180
...little boy.
145
00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:57,531
Bjorn, when I
was your age,
146
00:05:57,661 --> 00:06:01,622
my father gave me this.
147
00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:09,412
And now I give it to you.
148
00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:12,023
May you spill the blood
149
00:06:12,154 --> 00:06:13,634
of many Danes with it.
150
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:19,466
Now say, "Goodbye, Father."
151
00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:25,167
Come on. You can do it.
152
00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:27,822
Say "Father."
153
00:06:27,952 --> 00:06:29,954
He's still too young to speak,
you know this.
154
00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:38,006
Then I shall hear it
upon my return.
155
00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:42,271
But I never do hear him say
"Father"
156
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,012
because I never return.
157
00:06:44,142 --> 00:06:46,710
Well, he came
looking for you, Thor.
158
00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:49,931
All the way
from the Old World.
159
00:06:50,061 --> 00:06:51,976
What if a wall were
made out of couch?
160
00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,717
Would I not be able
to go through that?
161
00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:56,503
Thor want to know everything.
Have so many questions.
162
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:57,852
I thought you might,
which is why
163
00:06:57,982 --> 00:06:59,854
I asked a lot
of questions.
164
00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:03,858
Okay, so, Bjorn was married.
He had three kids.
165
00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:05,860
You're a gramps, buddy!
166
00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:07,165
Who was his first kill?
167
00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:09,472
His first kill?
168
00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:10,865
I don't think we covered that.
169
00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:12,867
Okay...
170
00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:14,259
How many Danish heads
did he have lined up
171
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:15,739
outside his cottage?
172
00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:19,221
Again, I didn't
ask that, specifically.
173
00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:22,093
You call yourself journalist?
These are obvious questions.
174
00:07:22,224 --> 00:07:23,791
Oh, yeah, he's got you there,
Sam. Who, what, where,
175
00:07:23,921 --> 00:07:26,141
when, why,
how many severed heads?
176
00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:27,751
These are the tools
of your trade.
177
00:07:27,882 --> 00:07:29,231
Thor wish he could speak
to Bjorn himself.
178
00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:31,842
He's so close yet so far.
179
00:07:31,973 --> 00:07:33,496
I know. It's too bad
that you don't live
180
00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:35,542
next door to your son
and then you could just, like,
181
00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:37,631
walk up to the property
line and talk to him.
182
00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:39,241
But the Farnsbys'
is two doors over.
183
00:07:39,371 --> 00:07:41,199
Wait a minute.
184
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:44,594
There may be a way
for them to speak. Follow me.
185
00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:52,036
Huh.
186
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:53,777
Need help?
187
00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:56,388
Alberta, I know
it's your turn to choose,
188
00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:59,870
but I'll pay you 50 back rubs
to watch Bodices & Barons.
189
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:01,002
Ugh, is that that boring
period piece drama?
190
00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:02,743
Boring?
191
00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:05,093
Did you not see the
smoldering glances
192
00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:07,095
the baron shot at the
chambermaid last week?
193
00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:09,010
Shocked they can put
that on the television.
194
00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,968
Well, as exciting
as that sounds,
195
00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:12,709
I already sold
all my TV time
196
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:13,971
for the next month
to Trevor.
197
00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:17,366
Oh, you did?
So did I.
198
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,108
I also sold Trevor my TV time.
It was part of some
199
00:08:20,238 --> 00:08:22,110
elaborate plan of his
I didn't understand.
200
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,460
The plan's actually
quite simple.
201
00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:26,941
I bought everyone's TV time.
202
00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:30,031
And now I have a monopoly
for the next month.
203
00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:32,686
And I'm gonna use it
to watch classic '90s
204
00:08:32,816 --> 00:08:36,428
figure skating rom-com
The Cutting Edge on repeat.
205
00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:39,954
Relax, relax.
All you have to do is
206
00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:42,652
buy your TV time back from me...
207
00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,698
at a huge markup, of course.
208
00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:47,527
Trevor, why are
you doing this?
209
00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:49,616
To level the playing field.
210
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,879
After this, I'm going
to have so many back rubs,
211
00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:54,185
it's gonna be like
Burke Williams in here.
212
00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:56,492
- What is that?
- Who's Burke Williams?
213
00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:57,624
- Is that a bank?
- You may not understand
that reference,
214
00:08:57,754 --> 00:08:59,669
but trust me, it is apt.
215
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,628
Hey, babe, check it out.
216
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,500
See? Look. You can
see the Farnsbys'
217
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,502
top floor from
this window.
218
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:09,026
I noticed it recently after
Sass's tree got cut down.
219
00:09:09,157 --> 00:09:11,812
- Sorry about that, Sass.
- Oh, he's not here.
220
00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:13,901
Oh, okay, well, then,
I am feeling...
221
00:09:14,031 --> 00:09:15,903
- Hetty?
- Let's not do this.
222
00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:18,427
So... how will Thor
speak to Bjorn?
223
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,863
Well, if you stand here,
224
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:21,952
then I will get Bjorn
to stand by that window,
225
00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,388
then you two could
yell at each other.
226
00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:26,957
Yes! I can yell at my son
the way my father yell at me.
227
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:28,916
Except it would be
out of love
228
00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:32,354
and not anger that I eat
all the ram's testicles.
229
00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:34,138
Okay. Be on this
spot in one hour.
230
00:09:34,269 --> 00:09:35,836
We just need to figure
out some excuse
231
00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:38,186
to get into the
Farnsbys' house.
232
00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:40,405
I'm sorry, did you say
"ram's testicles"?
233
00:09:40,536 --> 00:09:42,451
I don't even want to know.
234
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,322
Is Norse delicacy.
235
00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:47,456
I wonder if Bjorn likes...
Did you ask him this?
236
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,500
It didn't come up.
237
00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:51,112
Big surprise.
238
00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:53,680
375 back rubs for Friday night.
239
00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:56,421
400!
Sold to Alberta.
240
00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:57,597
Yes! Oh...
241
00:09:57,727 --> 00:09:59,076
It's a steep price,
242
00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:01,035
but at least
I'll get my Jason Momoa fix.
243
00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:03,864
And we will be watching
certain scenes in slo-mo.
244
00:10:03,994 --> 00:10:06,344
Aka slo-Momoa.
245
00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:09,260
Not my best work, but I had
to get it out of my head.
246
00:10:09,391 --> 00:10:12,437
What if, instead of
bidding against each other
247
00:10:12,568 --> 00:10:15,440
and driving up the price,
we form a coalition?
248
00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:17,355
Utilize the power
of collective bargaining?
249
00:10:17,486 --> 00:10:18,443
Oh, like we form a union.
250
00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:21,185
I did not use
the U-word.
251
00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:24,449
I am simply suggesting,
if we band together
252
00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:27,191
and agree not to buy any
TV time, it becomes valueless.
253
00:10:27,322 --> 00:10:28,366
And Trevor
will have nothing.
254
00:10:28,497 --> 00:10:30,107
Okay. So,
255
00:10:30,238 --> 00:10:30,891
what are we supposed to do,
just watch
256
00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:32,283
The Cutting Edge over and over?
257
00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:33,502
The guy loses his
peripheral vision
258
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:34,721
and can't play hockey
259
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,723
but he can still figure skate?
260
00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:38,028
Doesn't make any sense.
261
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:39,073
Okay, maybe we don't watch TV
262
00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:40,465
at all.
263
00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:41,858
Like the good old days,
you know?
264
00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:44,818
Trivia, charades,
sharing secrets...
265
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:46,384
I don't like mustard.
266
00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:49,561
You won't be able to
last without TV time.
267
00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:51,781
You'll be back.
You'll all be back.
268
00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:53,043
No, Trevor.
269
00:10:53,174 --> 00:10:54,479
Not if we stick together.
270
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:56,525
Because together...
271
00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:00,094
...the power belongs
to the people.
272
00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:03,010
Oh, I hate myself.
I really hated saying that.
273
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,533
How's Thor's hair?
274
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,101
What about scar, hmm?
275
00:11:07,231 --> 00:11:08,580
Thor, he's not gonna
be able to make out
276
00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:11,105
those tiny details
from that distant window.
277
00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:12,541
But he also won't smell
the wolf urine,
278
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,585
so it all evens out.
279
00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:15,762
Just so nervous and excited.
280
00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:18,199
Is biggest moment
of Thor's life.
281
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:19,983
What are you gonna
yell about with him first?
282
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:22,116
I don't know, just...
283
00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:25,249
So many questions, I...
know so little of him.
284
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:27,382
Well, Samantha made some notes
285
00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:28,949
from the conversation.
Let's see here...
286
00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:31,212
He lived in...
287
00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:33,431
unpronounceable town
with far too many consonants
288
00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:35,303
with his wife, Alma.
289
00:11:36,826 --> 00:11:39,350
No, that wrong.
That name Danish. It...
290
00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:41,265
must be mistake.
291
00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:43,267
Oh, no, no, no.
No, that's what it says here.
292
00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:45,748
He had three children:
Magnus, Inger and Lars.
293
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:50,187
But those also names of Danes.
294
00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:53,321
Oh, dear.
295
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:55,410
Bjorn...
296
00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:56,585
married Dane.
297
00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:01,068
Is deepest betrayal.
298
00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:04,332
Bjorn is...
299
00:12:04,462 --> 00:12:06,116
traitor.
300
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:08,031
Well, you know,
so was Benedict Arnold,
301
00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:10,033
but he was still
a delightful dinner party guest.
302
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:12,427
Thor,
who cares who he married?
303
00:12:12,557 --> 00:12:13,558
Bjorn's your son.
304
00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,778
No.
305
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:17,127
This is where you're wrong.
306
00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:21,915
Thor have no son!
307
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:23,917
Well, this is gonna make
308
00:12:24,047 --> 00:12:25,266
- for an awkward reunion.
- Yeah...
309
00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:33,013
So, how long do you think
this is gonna take?
310
00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:34,623
I don't know, Jay.
This is my first time
311
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,799
having to get a ghost Viking
to a designated scream spot,
312
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:39,062
where he will reunite with his
father after a thousand years.
313
00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:41,499
Ballpark?
Five minutes?
314
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:45,286
Weird. It's open.
315
00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,206
Oh, my God,
Henry, it's Sam and Jay.
316
00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:55,078
I told you.
Hello, please come in.
317
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:56,776
Hi, uh, we came
to return your lamp.
318
00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,516
And I know
you don't take returns...
319
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,301
That is so cute.
320
00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:02,042
But you didn't have
to make up an excuse
321
00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:04,000
to come
to our little get-together.
322
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:05,349
Oh, you have company.
323
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:06,829
Uh, sorry to interrupt.
324
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,223
Oh, no, no.
We're so glad you could make it.
325
00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:10,790
May I please use your bathroom?
326
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,182
Yes. Yes, of course.
327
00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:14,402
And don't worry,
we won't start without you.
328
00:13:14,532 --> 00:13:16,317
Thanks.
329
00:13:17,318 --> 00:13:21,975
Come with us. Our friends will
be very excited to meet you.
330
00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,847
Everybody,
this is our neighbor Jay
331
00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:26,240
and he's here for the party
332
00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:29,243
with his wife, Sam,
who's a blonde.
333
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:34,378
Oh, how I hate the first
Wednesday of every month.
334
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:39,035
Okay, so that's my house
over there.
335
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,733
Your father should be appearing
at that window at any moment.
336
00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:49,567
Oh, I see someone.
337
00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:53,441
Hello! Bjorn is here!
338
00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:56,226
It is Bjorn!
339
00:13:56,357 --> 00:13:59,360
Just a moment!
Thor'll be right here!
340
00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:01,971
Tell him I'm very excited!
341
00:14:02,102 --> 00:14:03,886
He's equally excited!
342
00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,845
Of that, I can assure you!
343
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,890
A Fin, I could live with that.
344
00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:10,675
A Swede, disgusting, but fine.
345
00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:12,199
But why Dane?
346
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:14,810
Why you do that to me?
347
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,334
Dude, Denmark is
actually pretty cool.
348
00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:19,902
I mean, I've never been,
but I used to buy Whippets
349
00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:23,210
from a Danish guy at Dead shows
and he was really cool.
350
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,255
Okay, Thor.
It's showtime.
351
00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:27,344
Your son is waiting
for you.
352
00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:29,303
I said I don't want
to talk to him.
353
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:32,001
Thor, he traveled
half the world and waited
354
00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:34,308
a thousand years
just to find you.
355
00:14:34,438 --> 00:14:37,137
That's more work than I put
in to meet David Crosby.
356
00:14:37,267 --> 00:14:39,226
Thor not care.
Can you imagine
357
00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:41,532
the disappointment
he is going to feel right now
358
00:14:41,663 --> 00:14:43,143
if you abandon him?
359
00:14:43,273 --> 00:14:44,666
You are his father.
360
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,713
- You're right.
- Oh...
361
00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:53,370
He is under the impression
that I am his father,
362
00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:55,198
so I will speak to him,
363
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:59,246
and tell him
he is no longer my son!
364
00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:02,379
Okay. It feels like you're
deliberately twisting my words.
365
00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:05,817
I miss Whippets.
366
00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:10,387
How are you doing, Trevor?
367
00:15:10,518 --> 00:15:13,347
Me? I'm awesome.
368
00:15:13,477 --> 00:15:15,088
Nine and a half
Cutting Edges in,
369
00:15:15,218 --> 00:15:16,524
and it just
keeps getting better.
370
00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:19,135
Are you sure?
You look a little glum.
371
00:15:19,266 --> 00:15:21,485
Man just lost
his peripheral vision.
372
00:15:21,616 --> 00:15:23,313
Of course I'm a little glum.
373
00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:25,141
But exclusively about that.
374
00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:28,884
Tell me,
when you were alive...
375
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,453
...why did you want
to make money?
376
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:33,889
Excuse me?
377
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:34,977
Let's say you had not died
378
00:15:35,108 --> 00:15:37,284
tragically young
and without pants
379
00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:38,938
and you had made
all the money you'd ever wanted.
380
00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:40,461
what would your life
have looked like?
381
00:15:40,591 --> 00:15:42,115
Paint me a picture.
382
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:44,944
Okay. Um...
383
00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:46,293
I'm in a glass-bottom pool
384
00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:48,425
on top of a skyscraper
that I own,
385
00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:50,514
and Kid Rock is there
and he's deejaying,
386
00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:51,689
but not because I'm paying him,
387
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,735
because he's just there
388
00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:55,519
and it happens spontaneously.
389
00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:57,565
And we have an epic party.
390
00:15:57,695 --> 00:16:01,003
And afterwards, I make love
to my wife, Tara Reid,
391
00:16:01,134 --> 00:16:04,833
and post-coitus, together,
we watch The Cutting Edge.
392
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,313
Duh.
393
00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:08,271
It seems like money
394
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:10,578
wasn't just about money, then.
395
00:16:10,708 --> 00:16:12,188
It was about friends.
396
00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:15,191
About having
someone to share it with.
397
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:16,584
I guess so.
398
00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:19,456
But now, your pursuit of wealth
399
00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:21,763
has left you
all alone.
400
00:16:21,893 --> 00:16:24,940
Take it from someone
who actually was rich.
401
00:16:26,463 --> 00:16:27,987
It's lonely at the top.
402
00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:31,033
The question you have
to ask yourself is...
403
00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,427
...is it worth it?
404
00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:40,521
Hold up.
405
00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:42,175
You have a toy room, too?
406
00:16:42,305 --> 00:16:44,133
I love how excited
you are about this.
407
00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:46,309
Sam thinks I'm a freak
for having one.
408
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,746
You know, I wasn't
into it at first, either.
409
00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:49,965
You just gotta
play around a little bit
410
00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:51,575
till you find the ones you like.
411
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:54,839
Can we trade wives?
412
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:57,407
Uh, and on that note,
ladies and gentlemen,
413
00:16:57,538 --> 00:16:59,061
the time has come.
414
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:00,932
Is this because
I didn't breastfeed you?
415
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:06,634
What you doin', Margaret?
416
00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:09,028
Oh, um...
417
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:13,206
Ah.
418
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:17,732
After some careful
consideration, I have decided
419
00:17:17,862 --> 00:17:19,212
to give everyone
their TV time back.
420
00:17:19,342 --> 00:17:20,517
What's the catch?
421
00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:22,345
No catch.
422
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:23,564
It's just,
someone made me realize that
423
00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:25,566
while money is important,
424
00:17:25,696 --> 00:17:27,350
it's not as important
425
00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:29,700
as friendship. Aw.
426
00:17:29,831 --> 00:17:31,267
I had all the TV time
in the world,
427
00:17:31,398 --> 00:17:33,269
I just didn't have anyone
to share it with.
428
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,793
Alberta...
429
00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:38,057
I believe
tonight's pick is yours.
430
00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:39,971
Aquaman.
Then, if there's time,
431
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:42,191
select scenes
from Game of Thrones.
432
00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:44,019
And you know the ones
I'm talkin' about.
433
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:46,282
Have a seat.
434
00:17:46,413 --> 00:17:49,068
Proud of you for learning
the right lesson, buddy.
435
00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:51,374
Alberta, I'll give you 200 back
rubs to watch Bodices & Barons.
436
00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:53,420
- Wait, what?
- Sold.
437
00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:55,683
Hetty, you didn't mean any
of that stuff you said to me?
438
00:17:55,813 --> 00:17:57,293
You just tricked me into
giving up my monopoly?
439
00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:58,338
That's right.
440
00:17:58,468 --> 00:18:00,079
And what about your speech?
441
00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:01,819
You said that friendship
was more important than wealth.
442
00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:04,431
No, I said you need
to ask yourself that.
443
00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:07,260
I have and I know the answer.
It's wealth.
444
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:08,957
Oh, it's wealth.
445
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,306
That's why she's the top dog.
446
00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:12,352
There's no low
she won't stoop to.
447
00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:15,920
It's time to watch the baron
glance at his mistress.
448
00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:19,185
The glancing, oh,
how I love the glancing.
449
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:22,971
Thor, wait...
450
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,842
Bjorn! Are you there?
451
00:18:24,973 --> 00:18:27,149
Yes, I'm here!
452
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,109
Thor, please don't say
something you can't take back.
453
00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:31,414
Bjorn!
454
00:18:31,545 --> 00:18:33,590
I have something to tell you!
455
00:18:33,721 --> 00:18:35,766
What is it, Father?
456
00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:38,421
Hello?
457
00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:39,727
Father?
458
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:44,123
Come on, you can do it.
459
00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:47,126
Say, "Father."
460
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:49,693
Hello?
461
00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:51,652
Father!
462
00:18:51,782 --> 00:18:53,784
Are you still there?
463
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:57,310
I am here, son!
464
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,834
What did you want to say?
465
00:18:59,964 --> 00:19:01,705
That...
466
00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:04,230
I love you!
467
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,275
Thank you for coming to find me!
468
00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:07,798
I love you, too!
469
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,062
Okay!
470
00:19:11,759 --> 00:19:13,543
Good talk!
471
00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:15,763
Yes. Yes, great talk!
472
00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:19,114
That's... That's it?
473
00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:21,856
- We gotta get out of here.
- Jay,
474
00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:23,423
the sweetest thing happened.
475
00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:25,729
Yeah? Do you think we can
climb out that window,
476
00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:27,035
or should we just jump?
477
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,210
Can't we just
go down the stairs
478
00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:29,429
and walk out the front door?
479
00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:31,213
Okay.
480
00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:33,433
Take my hand,
close your eyes
481
00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:37,045
and whatever you do,
don't touch anything.
482
00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:47,969
Oh. We got an email
from the Farnsbys.
483
00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:50,754
Apparently,
we've been invited
484
00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:54,062
to their Christmas Toga Party
this year.
485
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,151
That is chilling.
486
00:19:57,761 --> 00:19:59,328
Sam. Hello?
487
00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:00,938
Sorry,
just a little distracted.
488
00:20:01,069 --> 00:20:02,679
They steal silverware!
489
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:05,465
It's very important
to know!
Look, Thor.
490
00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:07,728
I think it's great you're
reconnecting with your son,
491
00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:10,165
but maybe you could do it
during daylight hours.
492
00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:11,688
Making up for lost time.
493
00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:14,387
You see, I realize
it is not Bjorn's fault
494
00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:16,432
that he married Dane.
495
00:20:16,563 --> 00:20:19,479
Children not born
with hate in their heart,
496
00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:22,830
they must be taught it and
I was not there to teach him.
497
00:20:25,572 --> 00:20:27,008
Night, babe.
498
00:20:27,138 --> 00:20:29,097
Now let's talk hygiene!
499
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,273
Danes, very dirty!
500
00:20:31,404 --> 00:20:32,796
They never wash
undercarriage!
501
00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:42,937
Captioning sponsored by CBS
502
00:20:43,067 --> 00:20:46,984
and TOYOTA.
503
00:20:47,115 --> 00:20:51,075
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
34020
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