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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:58,033 --> 00:00:59,733 Morning! 2 00:00:59,833 --> 00:01:00,833 You're happy. 3 00:01:00,867 --> 00:01:01,967 Let me guess. 4 00:01:02,067 --> 00:01:03,476 Twitter followers hit double figures. 5 00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:04,333 Nope. 6 00:01:04,433 --> 00:01:05,609 Still plateauing at the big seven. 7 00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:06,500 Good wedding? 8 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:07,233 It was brilliant. 9 00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:08,567 I met someone, actually. 10 00:01:08,667 --> 00:01:09,800 We just hit it off. 11 00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:10,967 She ended up staying over. 12 00:01:11,067 --> 00:01:11,900 She? 13 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,367 I made a new friend. 14 00:01:13,467 --> 00:01:15,467 I had a friend night stand, Laura. 15 00:01:15,567 --> 00:01:17,200 So you met a girl at a wedding, 16 00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:20,233 brought her back here, and slept in a bed with her? 17 00:01:20,333 --> 00:01:21,709 Sounds a bit gay, mate. - Oh, come on. 18 00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:22,853 You know I'm about the dong. 19 00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:24,076 Yeah, I forgot you're a cock-magnet. 20 00:01:24,100 --> 00:01:25,333 I just made a new friend. 21 00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:27,233 Is that so hard to believe? 22 00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:28,067 Yes. 23 00:01:28,167 --> 00:01:29,209 Look, she's brilliant, Laura. 24 00:01:29,233 --> 00:01:30,033 You're going to love her. 25 00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,433 She's over from Australia. 26 00:01:31,533 --> 00:01:34,167 We met over our love for the wheel of Stilton. 27 00:01:34,267 --> 00:01:35,500 We befriended a waiter. 28 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:37,043 Then he gave us a bottle of champagne. 29 00:01:37,067 --> 00:01:37,967 Then we made up a dance. 30 00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:39,567 Then we did karaoke together. 31 00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:40,667 She's a top laugh. 32 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,800 I'm going to invite her to my 21st tonight. 33 00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:45,700 Meg, it's all happening so fast. 34 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,600 Morning. 35 00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:48,933 Good morrow, all. 36 00:01:49,033 --> 00:01:50,100 Cillian. 37 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,667 You're ravishing this morning, Meg. 38 00:01:53,967 --> 00:01:54,767 Laura. 39 00:01:54,867 --> 00:01:56,133 Right. 40 00:01:56,233 --> 00:01:59,100 May I trouble you for a source of hydration, Meg? 41 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,100 That's actually Mark's. 42 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,533 Is he here? 43 00:02:01,633 --> 00:02:02,667 No, he's back tomorrow. 44 00:02:02,767 --> 00:02:04,933 So can you strip the bed, please? 45 00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,176 You might want to boil the sheets. 46 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,567 They're pretty much rock hard now. 47 00:02:11,367 --> 00:02:13,043 I do love being in this kitchen, around you beautiful, 48 00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:13,967 loving women. 49 00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:16,367 Makes me feel ever so tranquil. 50 00:02:16,467 --> 00:02:18,200 So, where's your friend, then, Meg? 51 00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:20,567 - She's still in bed. - What friend? 52 00:02:20,667 --> 00:02:22,367 She picked her up last night at a wedding. 53 00:02:22,467 --> 00:02:24,233 Oh, Meg, your lesbian sore spot. 54 00:02:24,333 --> 00:02:25,533 It's not like that. 55 00:02:25,633 --> 00:02:27,200 There's nothing gay about me sleeping 56 00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:28,767 in a bed with another woman. 57 00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:30,900 Oh, grow up. 58 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,067 Look, Ellie's just my mate, OK? 59 00:02:33,167 --> 00:02:34,000 Deal with it. 60 00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:35,567 Hi! 61 00:02:35,667 --> 00:02:36,933 Hiya! 62 00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:38,300 Hi, I'm Ellie. 63 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:39,233 Hi. 64 00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:40,833 Hi. 65 00:02:40,933 --> 00:02:42,467 Oh, thanks. 66 00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:43,400 I feel awful. 67 00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:44,667 Yeah, me too. 68 00:02:44,767 --> 00:02:46,533 My head is pounding. 69 00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:47,833 Hung over. 70 00:02:47,933 --> 00:02:50,133 Oh, totally worth it though. 71 00:02:50,233 --> 00:02:51,667 You were a riot. 72 00:02:51,767 --> 00:02:54,800 Do you remember drawing the cock and balls in the guest book? 73 00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:56,433 Oh, my god, yeah, I do. 74 00:02:56,533 --> 00:02:58,267 Luckily, I managed to turn it into a cat 75 00:02:58,367 --> 00:03:00,533 before anyone noticed. 76 00:03:00,633 --> 00:03:01,933 I told the father of the bride 77 00:03:02,033 --> 00:03:03,900 that it was a Chinese good luck symbol. 78 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,800 Never give me rum again. 79 00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:07,067 Good times. 80 00:03:07,167 --> 00:03:09,100 All right, I'm going to go get in the shower. 81 00:03:15,433 --> 00:03:16,233 What? 82 00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:17,500 What? 83 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:18,700 That. - Mate. 84 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:19,700 What? 85 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:20,840 Are you sure you didn't... 86 00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:22,000 Oh, come on! 87 00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:22,900 I know it's been a while. 88 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,500 But I'm not a lesbian. 89 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,333 OK, well, she is. 90 00:03:26,433 --> 00:03:27,433 Like 100%. 91 00:03:27,467 --> 00:03:28,676 How can you tell someone's sexuality 92 00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:29,800 by a two-second encounter? 93 00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:31,600 Meg, I have an excellent gaydar. 94 00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:33,700 And yours is famously appalling. 95 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:34,667 No. 96 00:03:34,767 --> 00:03:35,633 Is she? 97 00:03:35,733 --> 00:03:37,500 She doesn't look like one. 98 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,033 What do you want her to do? 99 00:03:39,133 --> 00:03:41,067 Come swaggering in, in dungarees and Doc Martens, 100 00:03:41,167 --> 00:03:42,533 riding a motor bike? 101 00:03:42,633 --> 00:03:43,633 She's gay. 102 00:03:43,733 --> 00:03:44,567 Gay. 103 00:03:44,667 --> 00:03:45,467 Gay. 104 00:03:45,567 --> 00:03:46,633 Oh, shit. 105 00:03:46,733 --> 00:03:47,967 Really? 106 00:03:48,067 --> 00:03:48,967 Oh, so what. 107 00:03:49,067 --> 00:03:50,367 There's a lesbian in the house. 108 00:03:50,467 --> 00:03:51,876 So I've made a new friend, that she just 109 00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:53,800 happens to be a homosexual. 110 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,033 Big deal. 111 00:03:55,133 --> 00:03:56,609 I'm not going to be homophobic about it. 112 00:03:56,633 --> 00:03:58,967 So just to clarify, you're totally cool about this. 113 00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:00,467 Of course I am. 114 00:04:00,567 --> 00:04:03,067 So you're going to invite her tonight then, as your date? 115 00:04:03,167 --> 00:04:05,400 Of course I am. 116 00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:07,067 You're on the boob, you twat. 117 00:04:11,133 --> 00:04:14,167 No, I met her at the wedding last night, 118 00:04:14,267 --> 00:04:15,533 and she stayed over. 119 00:04:15,633 --> 00:04:17,600 Yeah, the girl I was doing karaoke with. 120 00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:19,767 This is exactly why I'm ringing, because I'm trying 121 00:04:19,867 --> 00:04:23,633 to avoid any homophobia... 122 00:04:23,733 --> 00:04:28,300 I am bringing a lesbian girl to my brother's 21st 123 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:31,833 as my plus 1 is what I'm saying, Mum. 124 00:04:31,933 --> 00:04:33,367 Just a heads up. 125 00:04:33,467 --> 00:04:36,700 I hope you don't have a problem with that, because I don't. 126 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:37,800 Yeah, bye. 127 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:41,900 That was Meg on the phone. 128 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,833 Yeah, is everything OK? 129 00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:45,833 I think she just came out. 130 00:04:45,933 --> 00:04:47,300 Oh, that's 50 quid you owe me then. 131 00:04:51,067 --> 00:04:52,900 If you're going to eat her face for breakfast, 132 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,167 do mind getting it to take away? 133 00:04:55,267 --> 00:04:57,200 Oh, Laura, don't be like that. 134 00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:58,467 Come and join in. 135 00:04:58,567 --> 00:04:59,567 Let's just be ourselves. 136 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:00,467 Hey. 137 00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:01,433 What? 138 00:05:01,533 --> 00:05:03,167 Laura knows we share a rude disregard 139 00:05:03,267 --> 00:05:06,467 for the social conventions of dating, monogamy being as it is 140 00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,900 a capitalist construct, in direct conflict 141 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,467 with the innate condition of the oneness of the universe. 142 00:05:12,567 --> 00:05:14,500 You mean you both want to fuck other people. 143 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,600 I can't help it if I'm addicted to puss-puss. 144 00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:19,776 Right, well, I can smell your cock rot from here, mate. 145 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:20,667 It's put me off my breakfast. 146 00:05:20,767 --> 00:05:21,867 Give it a wash. 147 00:05:21,967 --> 00:05:23,333 Come on, come back to bed. 148 00:05:23,433 --> 00:05:24,433 Yes, Mommy. 149 00:05:28,367 --> 00:05:29,447 No one needs this, do they? 150 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,233 Oh, god. 151 00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:36,200 That's it, they're out of here. 152 00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:39,533 Do you know it's not a booty call but chicktionary. 153 00:05:39,633 --> 00:05:40,700 How romantic. To 154 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:41,700 I hate him. 155 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:42,667 Me too. 156 00:05:42,767 --> 00:05:43,667 Shall we tell Bunny? 157 00:05:43,767 --> 00:05:44,967 No. 158 00:05:45,067 --> 00:05:46,600 At least she's getting some good sex. 159 00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:49,233 I can't even bring myself to look at Gary at the moment. 160 00:05:49,333 --> 00:05:50,767 Oh no, is it all off again? 161 00:05:50,867 --> 00:05:51,900 Practically. 162 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,009 I mean, I can manage Ducky, because I 163 00:05:53,033 --> 00:05:54,167 don't have to look at him. 164 00:05:54,267 --> 00:05:56,367 But he knows that means I'm pissed off. 165 00:05:56,467 --> 00:05:59,133 It's kind of a mixed message, Laura. 166 00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:00,700 This has been going on quite a while. 167 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,176 Do you not think maybe you'd be better off with someone else? 168 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,133 Yeah, Gary wouldn't have it though. 169 00:06:05,233 --> 00:06:06,867 No, I meant break up with him. 170 00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:08,233 Maybe. 171 00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:09,776 But your brother's inviting him tonight. 172 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,743 So I guess that means we'll be playing happy families. 173 00:06:11,767 --> 00:06:12,800 Right. 174 00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:14,367 Well, I think we should go and rescue 175 00:06:14,467 --> 00:06:17,233 Ellie before that hound ropes her into some kind of sex game. 176 00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:19,033 I don't think he's her type. 177 00:06:19,133 --> 00:06:21,300 I can't believe he's anybody's type. 178 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:22,400 Come on. 179 00:06:39,033 --> 00:06:40,033 Hi! 180 00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:49,200 You look nice. 181 00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:51,533 Excuse me, where are you going? 182 00:06:51,633 --> 00:06:54,233 - The restaurant? - Sorry, you can't go in there. 183 00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:56,300 Oh right, I get it. 184 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:57,709 You have a problem with her, do you? 185 00:06:57,733 --> 00:06:59,333 - Meg, don't. - No, I'm sorry. 186 00:06:59,433 --> 00:07:00,900 This really gets on my tits. 187 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,300 It's the 21st century, mate. 188 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:03,700 Meg. 189 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,100 What people get up to in the privacy of their own bedrooms 190 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:07,567 or any other rooms... 191 00:07:07,667 --> 00:07:09,276 Probably not public spaces, that's gray area. 192 00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:10,500 But... - You've lost me. 193 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,733 I thought she was a, you know, delivery woman. 194 00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:13,933 Is that euphemism? 195 00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:15,033 For what? 196 00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:19,600 Nothing. 197 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,533 We just want to go up to the party, please. 198 00:07:21,633 --> 00:07:22,633 That's absolutely fine. 199 00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:42,933 So, Gary, you know Laura. 200 00:07:43,033 --> 00:07:43,833 Bunny. 201 00:07:43,933 --> 00:07:44,967 Hi. 202 00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:46,176 Cillian, absolutely riddled. 203 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,667 And that's my brother, James. 204 00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:48,767 Which one are you? 205 00:07:48,833 --> 00:07:49,967 John or Edward? 206 00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:51,433 Happy birthday, mate. 207 00:07:51,533 --> 00:07:52,200 Thanks. 208 00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:53,333 And Mum and Dad. 209 00:07:53,433 --> 00:07:55,133 Really nice to meet you. 210 00:07:55,233 --> 00:07:57,833 Babe, there is nothing on here that I can eat. 211 00:07:57,933 --> 00:07:58,967 It's like carbs.com. 212 00:07:59,067 --> 00:08:00,967 And that's Sara. 213 00:08:01,067 --> 00:08:01,933 Is someone sitting here? 214 00:08:02,033 --> 00:08:03,033 Here? 215 00:08:03,133 --> 00:08:04,733 Oh, this chair's for my bag, sorry. 216 00:08:04,833 --> 00:08:06,167 It's a present from James. 217 00:08:06,267 --> 00:08:08,367 And it's not fake. 218 00:08:08,467 --> 00:08:09,367 Oh, good. 219 00:08:09,467 --> 00:08:12,533 Because nobody likes a fake. 220 00:08:12,633 --> 00:08:13,833 Where's Mark? 221 00:08:13,933 --> 00:08:15,367 We're not together anymore. 222 00:08:15,467 --> 00:08:16,300 This is Ellie. 223 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,033 We met last night at a wedding. 224 00:08:18,133 --> 00:08:19,233 She ended up staying over. 225 00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:27,333 Did anyone see the bake-off? 226 00:08:27,433 --> 00:08:29,800 I really love that program. 227 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,467 Especially Sue Perkins. 228 00:08:31,567 --> 00:08:33,467 I really like her. 229 00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:38,600 Everything about her is absolutely fine with me. 230 00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:39,700 Exactly, Mum. 231 00:08:39,767 --> 00:08:40,767 I've never seen it. 232 00:08:43,467 --> 00:08:44,967 Oh, my God. 233 00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:47,867 That's City, that's Bradford City, get in! 234 00:08:47,967 --> 00:08:49,400 - No way. - It is! 235 00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:52,533 Oh, my God, amaze balls! 236 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,000 Gary, sit down, you knob. 237 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,500 - All right, lads. - Gary. 238 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:56,433 City. 239 00:08:56,533 --> 00:08:57,533 Asshole. 240 00:08:59,433 --> 00:09:01,000 Sit the fuck down, Gary! 241 00:09:04,767 --> 00:09:06,600 Look what you've done. 242 00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:08,333 Happy? 243 00:09:08,433 --> 00:09:09,267 Sorry. 244 00:09:09,367 --> 00:09:10,367 Yeah. 245 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:17,833 You know, I remember when people 246 00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:20,167 actually used to say grace. 247 00:09:20,267 --> 00:09:22,800 Well, bottoms up, everybody. 248 00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:24,367 Many happy returns of the day, James, 249 00:09:24,467 --> 00:09:26,533 you despicable young whippersnapper. 250 00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:28,333 Yep, up yours! 251 00:09:28,433 --> 00:09:29,433 Up yours! 252 00:09:31,667 --> 00:09:37,233 21 years ago today, I was in absolute agony. 253 00:09:37,333 --> 00:09:38,500 Mum, we're trying to eat. 254 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:42,167 We were just over the moon it was a boy. 255 00:09:42,267 --> 00:09:44,133 We were struggling to conceive, weren't we. 256 00:09:44,233 --> 00:09:46,167 For a while there, we seriously 257 00:09:46,267 --> 00:09:49,867 considered adoption, which is a perfectly legitimate 258 00:09:49,967 --> 00:09:53,767 option for lots of people. 259 00:09:53,867 --> 00:09:55,967 Shall I order some more wine? 260 00:09:56,067 --> 00:09:57,800 Excuse me, can we have some more wine? 261 00:09:57,900 --> 00:10:01,533 And send a bottle of whatever City are having to their table. 262 00:10:01,633 --> 00:10:03,933 I can't believe City are over there. 263 00:10:04,033 --> 00:10:06,133 Gary, get over it, you bell end. 264 00:10:12,167 --> 00:10:14,000 I'm just off for a slash. 265 00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:15,667 Gary, you don't say that. 266 00:10:15,767 --> 00:10:16,900 Sorry. 267 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,700 Will you all excuse me while I urinate? 268 00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:24,733 Is he waving at us? 269 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:28,967 Yeah, I think so. 270 00:10:29,067 --> 00:10:32,967 He's coming over. 271 00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:34,133 Hiya. 272 00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:35,967 How's you, gorgeous? - What me? 273 00:10:36,067 --> 00:10:37,067 Fine. 274 00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:37,900 You look nice. 275 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,033 Thanks. 276 00:10:39,133 --> 00:10:40,600 Just on sale. 277 00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:41,600 New hair. 278 00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:42,700 Yeah! 279 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,133 Well, new to me. 280 00:10:44,233 --> 00:10:45,633 But it's really human hair like. 281 00:10:45,733 --> 00:10:47,243 Listen, I didn't get a chance to say hi. 282 00:10:47,267 --> 00:10:50,167 But I saw you when we were out last week. 283 00:10:50,267 --> 00:10:54,200 I've got to say I love the way you dance. 284 00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:55,900 Thanks. 285 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,533 I love the way you kick. 286 00:10:58,633 --> 00:11:00,953 All the lads were saying you were the fittest one in there. 287 00:11:03,233 --> 00:11:06,067 You better go. My boyfriend's coming over. 288 00:11:06,167 --> 00:11:08,067 Boyfriend? 289 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,800 That's a shame. 290 00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:13,267 Oh, my God, oh my God! 291 00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:18,133 Toilet's Some mint. 292 00:11:18,233 --> 00:11:20,400 No one wants to hear it, Gary. 293 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:22,267 Excuse me! 294 00:11:22,367 --> 00:11:24,567 Sorry, but I think there's been a bit of a mistake 295 00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:25,867 with the wine here. 296 00:11:25,967 --> 00:11:29,933 We didn't order a 300 pound ball of Cristal Champagne. 297 00:11:30,033 --> 00:11:31,267 I'm just off for a ciggy. f 298 00:11:31,367 --> 00:11:33,500 No, your friend ordered it for the gentlemen 299 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:34,600 at the next table. 300 00:11:38,267 --> 00:11:39,267 Gary, you fucktard! 301 00:11:46,033 --> 00:11:48,233 Hey, we're off to the Hurley Burly. 302 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:49,333 Will we see you in there? 303 00:11:49,433 --> 00:11:51,500 Hurley Burly, the burlesque place? 304 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,667 Yeah. 305 00:11:52,767 --> 00:11:54,733 So will our favorite dancer be working tonight? 306 00:11:54,833 --> 00:11:55,667 Don't know. 307 00:11:55,767 --> 00:11:56,900 Who's your favorite? 308 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,700 You. 309 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,600 Oh, God. I think you might have... 310 00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:04,733 Yeah. 311 00:12:04,833 --> 00:12:06,733 Yeah, I'll be dancing later. 312 00:12:06,833 --> 00:12:08,500 See you in there. 313 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:09,333 Look, love. 314 00:12:09,433 --> 00:12:11,033 It's none of our business. 315 00:12:11,133 --> 00:12:13,033 We don't mind what you do. 316 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,667 We'll support you. 317 00:12:15,767 --> 00:12:16,843 We just think you're very brave. 318 00:12:16,867 --> 00:12:18,633 It's only handing out flyers. 319 00:12:18,733 --> 00:12:22,333 To be honest, we always had a hunch, didn't we? 320 00:12:22,433 --> 00:12:24,500 It's really nice meeting you, Ellie. 321 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:25,600 Yeah, you too. 322 00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,200 Oh, no. 323 00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:31,767 Bunny, quick word. 324 00:12:31,867 --> 00:12:34,100 Mum just said she supported me. 325 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:35,667 OK, and that's a bad thing? 326 00:12:35,767 --> 00:12:37,700 She thinks I'm brave. 327 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,300 She thinks I just came out. 328 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,276 Well, I can't believe that comes as any surprise, mate. 329 00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:42,476 Because the whole table thinks you're 330 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:43,700 a lesbian, particularly Ellie. 331 00:12:43,733 --> 00:12:45,100 What, who? 332 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:46,976 I was just being her mate so I don't look homophobic. 333 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,767 I'm not a fucking lez, though. 334 00:12:48,867 --> 00:12:50,043 Right, where are we off, then? 335 00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:51,833 I've had a brilliant idea. 336 00:12:51,933 --> 00:12:53,267 How about we go to Hurley Burly's? 337 00:12:53,367 --> 00:12:54,800 Isn't that a strip club? 338 00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:56,433 No, Meg, it's a burlesque club. 339 00:12:56,533 --> 00:12:57,367 Yes. 340 00:12:57,467 --> 00:12:58,867 OK, stripping in old clothes then. 341 00:12:58,967 --> 00:13:01,087 It always takes ages for the tits to come out, though. 342 00:13:01,167 --> 00:13:02,400 Well, don't come then, Gary. 343 00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:04,933 It's James's birthday, so he'll decide. 344 00:13:05,033 --> 00:13:05,867 In, obviously. 345 00:13:05,967 --> 00:13:06,833 In. 346 00:13:06,933 --> 00:13:08,800 In and out, hopefully. 347 00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:09,933 I love burlesque. 348 00:13:10,033 --> 00:13:12,533 It's so empowering. 349 00:13:12,633 --> 00:13:13,633 That's one word for it. 350 00:13:16,167 --> 00:13:17,600 No, I'm sorry. 351 00:13:17,700 --> 00:13:20,009 I'm not comfortable with going to a burlesque bar with her. 352 00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:21,933 This is all wrong. - Brilliant. 353 00:13:22,033 --> 00:13:23,933 Meg's on an accidental lesbie date. 354 00:13:24,033 --> 00:13:24,900 Ha! 355 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,500 Thank you, very supportive. 356 00:13:39,233 --> 00:13:40,643 Do you want these on the same hanger? 357 00:13:40,667 --> 00:13:41,767 No. 358 00:13:41,867 --> 00:13:42,867 Thank you. 359 00:13:48,533 --> 00:13:51,000 So what's the difference between burlesque 360 00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:52,200 and stripping? 361 00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:53,367 Two stone, usually. 362 00:13:53,467 --> 00:13:55,267 It's more theatrical and flamboyant. 363 00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:56,667 And it's all about the tease. 364 00:14:02,033 --> 00:14:03,300 Right. 365 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,867 I just love how the women are totally in charge. 366 00:14:05,967 --> 00:14:08,067 It's just so empowering. 367 00:14:08,167 --> 00:14:09,367 Is that empowering? 368 00:14:09,467 --> 00:14:11,333 Someone just threw money at her tits. 369 00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:15,067 They're not supposed to do that. 370 00:14:15,167 --> 00:14:17,967 That's Cillian! 371 00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,233 It certainly is. 372 00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:24,340 Is it just me, or does that one 373 00:14:24,367 --> 00:14:26,267 look like your friend Laura? 374 00:14:26,367 --> 00:14:27,633 Oh, yeah. 375 00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:28,733 That's uncanny! 376 00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:32,100 Hot. 377 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:39,900 Hey! 378 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,500 That was quick. 379 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:42,633 Just watched you dance. 380 00:14:42,733 --> 00:14:44,533 You were brilliant. 381 00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:45,733 Stunning. 382 00:14:45,833 --> 00:14:47,133 Thanks. 383 00:14:47,233 --> 00:14:50,967 So I'll give you a private dance, if you want. 384 00:14:51,067 --> 00:14:53,400 I had no idea it was that type of place. 385 00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:54,700 Yeah. 386 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,700 VIPs only. 387 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,233 Just over here. 388 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:07,600 Bravo! 389 00:15:07,633 --> 00:15:09,867 You are delicious. 390 00:15:09,967 --> 00:15:11,367 Call me later. 391 00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:16,200 I must feast on that divine, undulating temptress's body. 392 00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:17,300 Woo! 393 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:25,467 This is so empowering. 394 00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,867 So, how long have you been a footballer, then? 395 00:15:36,967 --> 00:15:38,200 All my life, really. 396 00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,800 I've been doing it since I was a kid. 397 00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:41,333 What about you? 398 00:15:41,433 --> 00:15:44,967 Yeah, same. 399 00:15:45,067 --> 00:15:46,567 Shall we crack on, then? 400 00:15:46,667 --> 00:15:47,667 Yeah. 401 00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:06,300 Don't you usually put some music on? 402 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,700 Uh, yeah. 403 00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:30,033 My brother is so getting dumped. 404 00:16:30,133 --> 00:16:32,533 She's gorgeous though, isn't she? 405 00:16:32,633 --> 00:16:33,533 Right. 406 00:16:33,633 --> 00:16:35,267 Could I just say something here, Ellie? 407 00:16:35,367 --> 00:16:36,633 OK. 408 00:16:36,733 --> 00:16:38,067 You seem quite nervous. 409 00:16:38,167 --> 00:16:41,667 No, no, I'm not. 410 00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:44,933 So the thing is, right. 411 00:16:45,033 --> 00:16:46,167 I just want to apologize. 412 00:16:46,267 --> 00:16:49,200 Because I think I've been leading you on. 413 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:50,776 I just... I don't really know how to say this, 414 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:56,633 but I need to make sure that you know that I don't fancy you. 415 00:16:56,733 --> 00:16:58,700 You don't fancy me? 416 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,167 No. 417 00:17:00,267 --> 00:17:01,500 OK. 418 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:05,867 That's absolutely fine, because I don't fancy you either. 419 00:17:05,967 --> 00:17:08,233 Oh. 420 00:17:08,333 --> 00:17:08,967 Shit. 421 00:17:09,067 --> 00:17:10,233 Oh, god. 422 00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,900 It's... I'm so embarrassed. 423 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:16,000 Sorry, I thought you were gay. 424 00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:17,000 Yeah, I am gay. 425 00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:18,767 I just don't fancy you. 426 00:17:18,867 --> 00:17:19,900 Oh, right. 427 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,143 Oh, what, because I'm straight? 428 00:17:21,167 --> 00:17:22,700 No, it's... what? 429 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:23,667 You're not gay? 430 00:17:23,767 --> 00:17:25,567 No, I'm just normal. 431 00:17:25,667 --> 00:17:27,033 No, I'm all about the dong. 432 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,467 Oh, what? 433 00:17:28,567 --> 00:17:31,167 So you thought I was a lesbian, but you don't fancy me? 434 00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:32,300 Well, no offense. 435 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:33,967 But you're just not really my type. 436 00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:35,300 I mean, you're fun. 437 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:38,100 But you're sort of self-righteous and uptight. 438 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,800 And I'm just really not into flat-chested girls. 439 00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:43,600 And that thing that you do with your face, when you... 440 00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:46,667 OK, yeah, I got it. 441 00:17:46,767 --> 00:17:49,267 Well, we could just be friends. 442 00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:51,833 Yeah, that was the original plan. 443 00:17:51,933 --> 00:17:53,333 Hey listen, can I tell you a secret? 444 00:17:53,433 --> 00:17:55,100 Yes, mate. 445 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:59,800 I have a massive crush on your cousin Bunny. 446 00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:00,767 Cool. 447 00:18:00,867 --> 00:18:03,467 Is it OK if I stay over? 448 00:18:03,567 --> 00:18:05,800 Mm hm. 449 00:18:14,067 --> 00:18:15,633 Shit, cells. 450 00:18:15,733 --> 00:18:16,733 I'll be back in a minute. 451 00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:23,133 Right, Gary, I've got something to tell you. 452 00:18:23,233 --> 00:18:25,733 You know how we've both got one celebrity we can nob? 453 00:18:25,833 --> 00:18:26,833 Of course. 454 00:18:26,933 --> 00:18:28,333 Holly Willoughby's in trouble now. 455 00:18:28,433 --> 00:18:30,100 Well, I want to swap off Matt Wright. 456 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,033 - Who are you swapping in? - I don't know his name. 457 00:18:33,133 --> 00:18:34,373 But he plays for Bradford City. 458 00:18:34,433 --> 00:18:35,100 Rick Henderson? 459 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,700 Yeah, that one. 460 00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:46,967 Good news. 461 00:18:47,067 --> 00:18:51,467 She doesn't fancy me, because I am uptight and flat-chested. 462 00:18:51,567 --> 00:18:53,267 Win. 463 00:18:53,367 --> 00:18:54,833 So we're just going to be friends. 464 00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:56,267 Good, eh? 465 00:18:56,367 --> 00:18:57,400 Yep. 466 00:18:57,500 --> 00:19:03,267 I am off the hook, because she fancies you. 467 00:19:03,367 --> 00:19:04,633 Who, me? 468 00:19:04,733 --> 00:19:05,633 She fancies me? 469 00:19:05,733 --> 00:19:07,300 Gosh, well, that's wonderful! 470 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,000 I mean, wow, oh how exciting! 471 00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:11,533 Where is she? 472 00:19:11,633 --> 00:19:12,500 What are you doing? 473 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,767 Oh, don't be so uptight, Meg. 474 00:19:14,867 --> 00:19:16,076 I'm going to go and talk to Ellie. 475 00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:17,767 No, she's my lesbian. 476 00:19:17,867 --> 00:19:18,867 I found her first! 477 00:19:23,033 --> 00:19:24,443 I know it's early, but we're leaving. 478 00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:25,633 I'm taking Sara. 479 00:19:25,733 --> 00:19:27,067 She's had way too much to drink. 480 00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,633 She's a bit upset. 481 00:19:28,733 --> 00:19:31,009 Why? because you stopped her getting off with a footballer? 482 00:19:31,033 --> 00:19:34,000 She's just drunk. 483 00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:36,400 And being stick into her 600-pound handbag. 484 00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:53,033 Bunny! 485 00:19:53,133 --> 00:19:55,033 What are you doing? 486 00:19:55,133 --> 00:19:57,500 Grinding. 487 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,867 Well, I'm being ground. 488 00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:17,167 Meg, I thought we talked about this. 489 00:20:17,267 --> 00:20:19,700 I don't fancy you, sorry. 490 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:23,200 Yes, and I'm not a lesbian. 491 00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:26,500 These are totally platonic slut drops. 492 00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:41,800 OK, this looks bad. 493 00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:43,600 I bought you wine. 494 00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:44,700 You prick! 495 00:20:50,933 --> 00:20:52,000 Get off me! 496 00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:58,700 You've got five seconds to get your fucking 497 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:03,667 clothes on and get out of this place before I call the police. 498 00:21:03,767 --> 00:21:05,033 I'm better fit than her. 499 00:21:09,933 --> 00:21:11,900 Have you seen my Gary? 500 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,567 He decked that City knob, bam! 501 00:21:13,667 --> 00:21:15,833 That City knob you were getting off with? 502 00:21:15,933 --> 00:21:17,667 How fit did Gary look, when the bouncer 503 00:21:17,767 --> 00:21:19,033 had him in a choke hold? 504 00:21:19,133 --> 00:21:21,009 Yeah, fit in a sort of squealing, dribbling way. 505 00:21:21,033 --> 00:21:23,600 What the fuck was going on in there? 506 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:26,633 Gary, shut up and tongue me, you sexy bastard. 507 00:21:35,300 --> 00:21:38,600 Meg, have you seen Bunny? 508 00:21:38,700 --> 00:21:41,900 Oh, she's over there, showing her disregard 509 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,767 for the social conventions of dating. 510 00:21:44,867 --> 00:21:46,200 Hot. 511 00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:48,033 I am so up for this. 512 00:22:00,367 --> 00:22:01,700 Hey, Meg. 513 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:02,700 What say we... 514 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:03,800 Eat shit. 515 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:09,733 He's a fast footballer. 516 00:22:09,833 --> 00:22:10,833 Laura. 517 00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:15,567 Fuck, again! 518 00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:16,667 Oh, Gary! 519 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,000 I love friend night stands. 520 00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:25,200 Mm, bit more than a friend. 521 00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:27,767 Guys, I'm completely straight. 522 00:22:27,867 --> 00:22:29,033 We saw you snogging in there. 523 00:22:29,133 --> 00:22:30,733 Friends kiss, so what? 524 00:22:30,833 --> 00:22:32,000 Do it all the time. 525 00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:33,100 Since when? 526 00:22:33,167 --> 00:22:35,133 Since boarding school. 527 00:22:35,233 --> 00:22:36,033 Nothing happened. 528 00:22:36,133 --> 00:22:37,833 It was just rubbies. 529 00:22:37,933 --> 00:22:39,400 What's rubbies? 530 00:22:39,500 --> 00:22:41,667 Oh, actually, I don't want to know. 531 00:22:41,767 --> 00:22:43,167 It's no big deal. 532 00:22:43,267 --> 00:22:45,633 And like I said to her, I'm more into the taking 533 00:22:45,733 --> 00:22:46,733 than the giving. 534 00:22:46,833 --> 00:22:50,367 Oh, like Christmas. 535 00:23:16,667 --> 00:23:18,067 Too. 34792