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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:55,998 --> 00:00:58,033 All of us have demons. 2 00:00:58,133 --> 00:01:00,269 -All I want is a relationship with my daughter. 3 00:01:00,368 --> 00:01:03,239 -He's an alcoholic and so were you. 4 00:01:04,874 --> 00:01:06,641 You face them. 5 00:01:06,674 --> 00:01:09,278 And just when you think you're winning, 6 00:01:09,311 --> 00:01:10,880 it turns out. 7 00:01:10,913 --> 00:01:13,514 They weren't your demons to begin with. 8 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,184 What the fuck? 9 00:01:15,285 --> 00:01:16,853 -Oh, fu... 10 00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:17,653 -Vance! 11 00:01:17,753 --> 00:01:18,889 It's not what you think. 12 00:01:18,955 --> 00:01:20,489 You're getting married tomorrow! 13 00:01:20,623 --> 00:01:23,159 -I was gonna tell you ages ago, but your mom didn't want. 14 00:01:23,226 --> 00:01:24,226 -Tell me what? 15 00:01:24,327 --> 00:01:27,030 -Hardin is Christian's son. 16 00:01:27,864 --> 00:01:29,065 - I'm so sorry. - Fuck off! 17 00:01:40,044 --> 00:01:43,915 -♪ We are family ♪ 18 00:01:43,948 --> 00:01:46,616 ♪ I got all my sisters with me ♪ 19 00:01:48,518 --> 00:01:50,988 ♪ we are family ♪ 20 00:01:52,555 --> 00:01:55,126 ♪ get up everybody and sing ♪ 21 00:01:56,593 --> 00:01:58,864 ♪ we are family ♪ 22 00:01:59,865 --> 00:02:00,899 -Hardin. 23 00:02:00,933 --> 00:02:02,043 -♪ I got all my sisters with me ♪ 24 00:02:02,067 --> 00:02:04,102 -It was. It was a mistake. 25 00:02:04,202 --> 00:02:05,404 -Which part? 26 00:02:05,436 --> 00:02:07,805 -♪ We are family ♪ 27 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,542 ♪ get up everybody and sing ♪ 28 00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:12,978 -Christian told you? 29 00:02:18,283 --> 00:02:19,394 My love, if I could go back. 30 00:02:19,419 --> 00:02:21,653 If I could go back, if... 31 00:02:22,654 --> 00:02:24,456 I should have told you. 32 00:02:26,725 --> 00:02:27,726 -Yeah. 33 00:02:30,930 --> 00:02:32,131 Hardin! 34 00:02:38,603 --> 00:02:40,739 -♪ Just let me state for the record ♪ 35 00:02:42,709 --> 00:02:45,980 ♪ we're giving love in a family dose ♪ 36 00:02:46,013 --> 00:02:47,547 - Kimberly, look. - ♪ we are family ♪ 37 00:02:47,647 --> 00:02:51,452 Ooh, yeah. 38 00:02:51,484 --> 00:02:52,785 -♪ I got all my sisters with me ♪ 39 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:54,787 - Hi. - Hey. 40 00:02:54,822 --> 00:02:56,824 -♪ We are family ♪ 41 00:02:58,993 --> 00:03:00,526 ♪ get up everybody and sing ♪ 42 00:03:09,570 --> 00:03:10,804 -You sure you wanna do that? 43 00:03:14,675 --> 00:03:15,776 I'll get one of those. 44 00:03:24,519 --> 00:03:25,620 Your dad. 45 00:03:27,490 --> 00:03:28,623 Ken. 46 00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:33,396 You know, we were like brothers. 47 00:03:33,496 --> 00:03:35,131 -And then you fucked his wife. 48 00:03:35,197 --> 00:03:36,564 -That's not how it was. 49 00:03:38,434 --> 00:03:40,336 I loved your mum. 50 00:03:40,436 --> 00:03:41,837 She was head over heels with him. 51 00:03:43,738 --> 00:03:47,610 But then when he went to university, he wasn't there. 52 00:03:47,710 --> 00:03:49,578 He was wandering around. He was always busy. 53 00:03:49,712 --> 00:03:54,750 And. She turned to me for emotional support. 54 00:03:57,354 --> 00:03:58,855 That's how it became intimate. 55 00:03:58,955 --> 00:04:01,258 - Spare me the fucking details, okay? 56 00:04:02,359 --> 00:04:06,296 -I had this ridiculous notion that we'd run off together and. 57 00:04:08,399 --> 00:04:12,336 She'd marry me instead of Ken. 58 00:04:12,437 --> 00:04:15,173 Then they announced they were expecting. 59 00:04:15,239 --> 00:04:17,875 And that was that. 60 00:04:21,212 --> 00:04:22,712 -This is just brilliant. 61 00:04:24,982 --> 00:04:28,619 And mum, Ken and you lying to me my entire fucking life. 62 00:04:30,322 --> 00:04:31,789 -Ken didn't know. 63 00:04:35,793 --> 00:04:37,930 I think deep down he's always suspected her. 64 00:04:39,865 --> 00:04:42,334 That was when he really started drinking. 65 00:04:44,635 --> 00:04:46,704 -You could have stopped all of it. 66 00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:48,874 My entire fucking life could have been different 67 00:04:48,941 --> 00:04:50,910 if you weren't such a fucking coward. 68 00:04:58,885 --> 00:05:03,755 -Smith, you can go dance with them. Go on. 69 00:05:03,890 --> 00:05:06,092 -Does he know that hardin is his brother? 70 00:05:19,039 --> 00:05:20,107 Where's hardin? 71 00:05:20,508 --> 00:05:21,876 -I don't know. He bolted. 72 00:05:22,576 --> 00:05:23,410 -What? 73 00:05:23,511 --> 00:05:25,146 -Maybe he needed some space. 74 00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:27,714 Wait, Tessa. 75 00:06:10,259 --> 00:06:12,261 Oh, Christian, you should see him. 76 00:06:12,295 --> 00:06:14,063 He's growing up so fast. 77 00:06:14,096 --> 00:06:17,601 He's a little man now. 78 00:06:17,634 --> 00:06:18,701 And so talented. 79 00:06:18,801 --> 00:06:21,638 His essay got chosen to run in a paper. 80 00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:23,006 Well done, hardin. 81 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,875 Can you tell him I said that? 82 00:06:25,008 --> 00:06:26,343 He's brilliant. 83 00:06:27,710 --> 00:06:29,213 He's like his father. 84 00:06:29,346 --> 00:06:32,715 Look, I gotta get going. Um, let's talk again soon. 85 00:06:32,748 --> 00:06:33,783 Yeah. Of course. 86 00:06:33,884 --> 00:06:34,884 Bye, Christian. 87 00:06:36,820 --> 00:06:38,323 -Hey, keep it down. 88 00:06:43,595 --> 00:06:44,595 Ken! 89 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:48,299 -Hardin, who gave this to you? 90 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:49,366 -Vance. 91 00:06:55,607 --> 00:06:57,087 - Ken! Ken! - Stop! You're ruining it! 92 00:06:57,175 --> 00:06:58,177 Hardin! 93 00:07:02,481 --> 00:07:03,849 I'm so sorry. 94 00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:05,217 Hardin? 95 00:07:12,091 --> 00:07:13,659 I've been looking for you. 96 00:07:16,829 --> 00:07:18,197 -Wanna drink? 97 00:07:18,297 --> 00:07:19,798 -No. 98 00:07:24,004 --> 00:07:25,639 Come on, let's go back to the hotel. 99 00:07:25,739 --> 00:07:28,008 -Not yet. 100 00:07:28,141 --> 00:07:29,709 Okay. Please, hardin, 101 00:07:29,843 --> 00:07:32,712 I'm really cold and tired. And I just wanna go back... 102 00:07:32,778 --> 00:07:34,023 -Tessa, you're not the one who just found out 103 00:07:34,047 --> 00:07:35,215 his entire life was a lie. 104 00:07:35,348 --> 00:07:37,517 So, either have a drink with me or go. 105 00:07:43,924 --> 00:07:45,426 -Okay. I'm gonna get us an uber. 106 00:07:51,599 --> 00:07:52,799 You know, I'm pretty sure 107 00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:55,369 that she would have locked it before she left. 108 00:07:57,538 --> 00:07:58,572 Hey! 109 00:08:12,587 --> 00:08:14,222 -Hardin, please. I know you're upset, 110 00:08:14,289 --> 00:08:15,957 and I know you're angry. And you should... 111 00:08:16,058 --> 00:08:17,225 -You know, I hear her screams 112 00:08:17,292 --> 00:08:19,361 every single time I walk in this place. 113 00:08:19,461 --> 00:08:20,162 Okay, we need to leave. 114 00:08:20,228 --> 00:08:21,563 -Years I've spent hating a man 115 00:08:21,697 --> 00:08:24,100 who as it turns out, I didn't even need to fucking like! 116 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:25,635 Don't touch me. 117 00:08:25,868 --> 00:08:27,112 What's the plan? What are you gonna do here? 118 00:08:27,136 --> 00:08:28,380 Are you gonna burn your mother's house down? 119 00:08:28,404 --> 00:08:29,982 -I'm gonna burn the fucking place down, yeah. 120 00:08:30,006 --> 00:08:31,016 -So, you're gonna get arrested, you know that? Right? 121 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:32,308 -Which is why you should leave. 122 00:08:32,375 --> 00:08:35,345 -No! I'm not... I'm not going without you. 123 00:08:35,411 --> 00:08:36,946 -Tess. 124 00:08:37,046 --> 00:08:38,190 "If two people love each other, 125 00:08:38,214 --> 00:08:39,224 there can be no happy end to it." 126 00:08:39,248 --> 00:08:41,184 -Don't quote Hemingway at me. 127 00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:42,328 -Why are you always trying to find 128 00:08:42,352 --> 00:08:43,595 some sort of light in me, Tessa? 129 00:08:43,619 --> 00:08:45,622 Wake up. There is no fucking light. 130 00:08:45,723 --> 00:08:47,224 I have fucked up parents, 131 00:08:47,291 --> 00:08:48,335 fucked up past. - Look at my parents! 132 00:08:48,359 --> 00:08:49,927 -So, I have a fucked up head now! 133 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,204 -My dad's homeless, for god's sake. 134 00:08:51,228 --> 00:08:53,197 -It's not a fucking competition! 135 00:09:03,507 --> 00:09:05,209 Hardin, please, give me the lighter. 136 00:09:10,515 --> 00:09:12,635 Please, hardin, can you think about what you're doing? 137 00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:33,438 -Hardin? 138 00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:34,206 Oh, my god. 139 00:09:34,306 --> 00:09:35,741 Hardin, we gotta get out here. 140 00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:37,176 -Get the fuck off me! 141 00:09:37,276 --> 00:09:38,276 -We need to go! 142 00:09:38,310 --> 00:09:39,846 All right, Tessa, you take my car. 143 00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:41,580 - I can't. - Yes, you can. I've got him. 144 00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:43,692 Come on, man, we need to go. - Now, you wanna play hero? 145 00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:44,885 Where were you? 146 00:09:45,050 --> 00:09:46,610 Where were you when she was being beaten 147 00:09:46,685 --> 00:09:48,020 to a bloody fucking pulp? 148 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:49,456 Fuck away from me! 149 00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:52,559 You're too late! 150 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:53,727 -I'm sorry, all right? 151 00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,395 - I don't care. - I'm sorry! 152 00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:56,462 Come here. 153 00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:59,433 I am sorry. I should have been here for her. 154 00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,401 Listen to me! 155 00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:03,303 I should have been here. 156 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:06,339 But you ruining your life isn't gonna make hers better. 157 00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:11,679 We need to go! 158 00:10:11,813 --> 00:10:13,714 Come on! Get out, now! 159 00:10:18,419 --> 00:10:19,554 Go, go! 160 00:10:22,925 --> 00:10:24,392 Go. 161 00:10:46,448 --> 00:10:47,884 Dispatches unit. 162 00:11:22,152 --> 00:11:23,220 -Where are we? 163 00:11:23,354 --> 00:11:25,022 -I don't know where. I just kept driving. 164 00:11:26,892 --> 00:11:28,092 -Where's Vance? Is he.? 165 00:11:28,192 --> 00:11:29,793 -I texted him. He's okay. 166 00:11:29,895 --> 00:11:32,062 But, um. 167 00:11:32,162 --> 00:11:35,432 He told the police that he started the fire. 168 00:11:38,103 --> 00:11:39,404 -He's got lawyers. 169 00:11:41,506 --> 00:11:42,851 And that's not gonna change anything. 170 00:11:42,875 --> 00:11:45,477 He still lied to me for 21 years. 171 00:11:45,544 --> 00:11:47,612 -He's your father. 172 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:48,680 -As of yesterday. 173 00:11:51,283 --> 00:11:52,684 We should get back. 174 00:12:20,147 --> 00:12:21,315 -Thank you. 175 00:12:22,316 --> 00:12:23,717 -Please. 176 00:12:23,851 --> 00:12:27,220 -Just let me try to explain myself. 177 00:12:27,287 --> 00:12:28,455 -No. 178 00:12:28,522 --> 00:12:30,490 Not right now anyways. 179 00:12:39,232 --> 00:12:40,435 Pull over. 180 00:13:08,697 --> 00:13:12,501 I think I should stay here for a while. 181 00:13:12,601 --> 00:13:13,736 -Why? 182 00:13:23,780 --> 00:13:24,781 Because. 183 00:13:28,184 --> 00:13:30,420 Because I just keep dragging you into my shit, Tessa. 184 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:31,788 It's not fair. 185 00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:35,792 -Please don't push me away. 186 00:13:43,901 --> 00:13:44,902 -I love you. 187 00:14:03,055 --> 00:14:04,055 Tess. 188 00:14:13,198 --> 00:14:18,637 -♪ We all watch the pain die slowly ♪ 189 00:14:18,670 --> 00:14:21,840 ♪ but leavin' your stone cold by staying. ♪ 190 00:14:21,941 --> 00:14:22,941 -Touch me. 191 00:14:24,010 --> 00:14:26,979 -♪ You leave us behind see ♪ 192 00:14:28,949 --> 00:14:32,853 ♪ but I feel your presence beside me ♪ 193 00:14:34,054 --> 00:14:39,459 ♪ 'cause I was only ever holdin' on to you ♪ 194 00:14:39,492 --> 00:14:40,994 ♪ I guess I should have known ♪ 195 00:14:41,028 --> 00:14:44,898 ♪ this day would come so soon ♪ 196 00:14:44,932 --> 00:14:50,437 ♪ 'cause I was only ever holdin' on to you ♪ 197 00:14:50,471 --> 00:14:51,772 ♪ I guess I should have known ♪ 198 00:14:51,805 --> 00:14:54,408 ♪ this day would come so soon, ♪ 199 00:14:54,441 --> 00:14:56,844 ♪ so soon ♪ 200 00:14:58,645 --> 00:15:01,381 -♪ so soon so soon ♪ 201 00:15:01,415 --> 00:15:04,052 ♪ 'cause I was only ever holdin' on to you ♪ 202 00:15:04,085 --> 00:15:05,120 ♪ so soon ♪ 203 00:15:05,220 --> 00:15:06,220 -I love you. 204 00:15:07,387 --> 00:15:10,192 -♪ I know that you love me ♪ 205 00:15:10,291 --> 00:15:11,726 -I love you. 206 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:17,867 -♪ So this could all finish our story, no ♪ 207 00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:23,772 ♪ and the head of our tall tree ♪ 208 00:15:23,805 --> 00:15:27,776 ♪ and I wish I could change it I'm sorry ♪ 209 00:15:29,844 --> 00:15:35,484 ♪ 'cause I was only ever holdin' on to you ♪ 210 00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:36,758 ♪ I guess I should have known ♪ 211 00:15:36,786 --> 00:15:40,924 ♪ this day would come so soon ♪ 212 00:15:40,957 --> 00:15:46,096 ♪ 'cause I was only ever holdin' on to you ♪ 213 00:15:53,938 --> 00:15:55,098 -What are you thinking about? 214 00:15:59,442 --> 00:16:01,678 -I wanna stay like this forever. 215 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,676 I'll get the bags. 216 00:16:31,776 --> 00:16:35,147 Go check on Kimberly, take a shower. 217 00:16:35,214 --> 00:16:36,548 I'll be fine. 218 00:16:56,336 --> 00:16:57,570 Kimberly, Tessa's here. 219 00:16:59,806 --> 00:17:01,876 - Are you okay? - Yeah. 220 00:17:01,976 --> 00:17:03,010 -Where's hardin? 221 00:17:06,613 --> 00:17:09,682 -I could feel him withdrawing with every breath. 222 00:17:14,454 --> 00:17:16,223 I'm-I'm sorry. 223 00:17:16,357 --> 00:17:17,258 I don't want to bother you with this. 224 00:17:17,358 --> 00:17:18,599 You're already going through... 225 00:17:18,626 --> 00:17:22,264 -No. Tessa, there is no rule that says 226 00:17:22,396 --> 00:17:25,733 only one person can be in pain at a time. 227 00:17:25,799 --> 00:17:28,469 And for selfish reasons, hearing about your problems 228 00:17:28,602 --> 00:17:30,939 makes me feel slightly better about my own. 229 00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:34,008 Talk to me. 230 00:17:34,642 --> 00:17:36,543 -I feel like I'm drowning. 231 00:17:39,648 --> 00:17:41,951 And I want to make it work, but I just. 232 00:17:43,785 --> 00:17:46,521 I don't know if I can keep fighting 233 00:17:46,655 --> 00:17:49,859 against the current to save him rather than myself. 234 00:17:53,528 --> 00:17:54,964 Yeah. 235 00:18:01,437 --> 00:18:02,973 -Concierge brought this up. 236 00:18:17,988 --> 00:18:20,456 - Shit. 237 00:18:22,693 --> 00:18:24,095 -♪ Go get free don't follow me ♪ 238 00:18:26,364 --> 00:18:27,865 ♪ go run away over there ♪ 239 00:18:30,634 --> 00:18:32,602 ♪ get this in the line ♪ 240 00:18:32,636 --> 00:18:34,138 ♪ go get free don't follow me ♪ 241 00:18:34,172 --> 00:18:36,007 ♪ go run away over there ♪ 242 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,109 ♪ go get free don't follow me ♪ 243 00:18:57,062 --> 00:18:58,430 -Fuck off. 244 00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:01,433 -Long time, man. 245 00:19:01,566 --> 00:19:03,501 Long time. 246 00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:05,472 James, look who's here. 247 00:19:05,571 --> 00:19:09,009 -Oh, shit! Awoo! 248 00:19:09,142 --> 00:19:10,819 You look just like a guy I used to party with. 249 00:19:10,843 --> 00:19:13,046 -Yeah, you look like a guy who was high 24/7. 250 00:19:13,179 --> 00:19:14,214 -I am he. 251 00:19:14,381 --> 00:19:15,848 Yo, get comfy. 252 00:19:15,949 --> 00:19:18,817 I'm just gonna make a few calls in honor of our guest. 253 00:19:18,885 --> 00:19:20,552 - Okay, come on. 254 00:19:20,652 --> 00:19:22,222 Hey, sit down, man. Sit. 255 00:19:22,322 --> 00:19:23,722 Look at you, bougie as fuck. 256 00:19:23,822 --> 00:19:26,659 -Ah. You still look like shit. 257 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:27,803 -What've you got? A job interview? 258 00:19:29,296 --> 00:19:31,631 Still funny as fuck, huh, James. 259 00:19:31,731 --> 00:19:32,632 -Hey, you want to drink? 260 00:19:32,732 --> 00:19:34,235 -I would love a drink. 261 00:19:36,203 --> 00:19:37,972 -Tessa. 262 00:19:40,474 --> 00:19:41,976 You okay? 263 00:19:45,545 --> 00:19:46,545 Great. 264 00:19:57,492 --> 00:19:58,927 -I'm gonna go get him. 265 00:20:04,466 --> 00:20:05,766 Thanks. 266 00:20:23,419 --> 00:20:25,154 -Hello. 267 00:20:25,221 --> 00:20:26,855 -Hi. Is hardin there? 268 00:20:26,923 --> 00:20:29,892 -Uh, Scott is disposed at the moment. 269 00:20:29,992 --> 00:20:32,029 Uh, are you gonna come to the party? 270 00:20:32,096 --> 00:20:36,300 -Um. Yeah, I just need the address again. 271 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,633 It's 52, Warwick street. 272 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:38,801 -Ask her if she's hot. 273 00:20:38,936 --> 00:20:40,770 -Uh, my friend's asking if you're hot. 274 00:20:40,871 --> 00:20:42,248 We're running out of ten-out-of-tens here. 275 00:20:42,272 --> 00:20:44,284 - Ask her if she has friends. - Yeah well, she hung up. 276 00:20:44,308 --> 00:20:45,308 Hey. 277 00:20:45,342 --> 00:20:46,609 Give that to hardin, man. 278 00:20:46,676 --> 00:20:47,978 Now, come on. Drink up. 279 00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:01,692 -♪ No, no, no keep that same energy ♪ 280 00:21:06,865 --> 00:21:08,732 ♪ No ways no ways ♪ 281 00:21:08,765 --> 00:21:10,168 ♪ keep that same energy ♪ 282 00:21:11,169 --> 00:21:12,313 ♪ you don't wanna mess with me then ♪ 283 00:21:12,337 --> 00:21:13,738 ♪ but it's different now ♪ 284 00:21:13,771 --> 00:21:14,815 ♪ I didn't never checked it again ♪ 285 00:21:14,839 --> 00:21:15,839 ♪ didn't need to know. ♪ 286 00:21:17,742 --> 00:21:19,245 Hey! Have a shot. 287 00:21:19,345 --> 00:21:21,080 Come on in, come on in. 288 00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:22,180 -Thanks. 289 00:21:24,183 --> 00:21:26,718 -Whoa. American. 290 00:21:26,818 --> 00:21:28,254 Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. 291 00:21:29,654 --> 00:21:30,990 I'm Mark. This is my flat. 292 00:21:31,689 --> 00:21:33,058 -I'm Tessa. 293 00:21:35,929 --> 00:21:38,398 -C'mon, love. Let's get you a drink. 294 00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:47,908 Hey, Scott. 295 00:21:48,008 --> 00:21:49,643 Yo, give me that damn vodka. 296 00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:51,611 Need to make my new friend here a drink. 297 00:21:51,710 --> 00:21:53,213 -Tessa, wha...? 298 00:21:55,582 --> 00:21:56,850 -Oh, you two knew each other? 299 00:22:01,889 --> 00:22:03,249 Yeah. I'm gonna take that as a yes. 300 00:22:10,164 --> 00:22:11,399 Fucking hell! Jesus Christ! 301 00:22:11,432 --> 00:22:12,667 What the fuck? 302 00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:14,144 -What? You're the only one who gets to break things? 303 00:22:14,168 --> 00:22:15,546 -You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend. 304 00:22:15,570 --> 00:22:17,271 What the hell is wrong with you? 305 00:22:17,371 --> 00:22:18,917 What? Do you think you're just gonna slum it here 306 00:22:18,941 --> 00:22:19,984 and you'll forget about your problem? 307 00:22:20,008 --> 00:22:21,376 -Why the fuck are you even here? 308 00:22:21,476 --> 00:22:23,676 -I'm not letting you get away with being a coward again. 309 00:22:26,281 --> 00:22:27,961 I'm giving you one chance to leave with me. 310 00:22:28,016 --> 00:22:30,185 But if I walk out the door without you, that's it. 311 00:22:39,228 --> 00:22:41,064 -So, um, if she isn't your girlfriend. 312 00:22:43,832 --> 00:22:44,701 -Just get the fuck away! 313 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:46,202 Tessa, outside, now. 314 00:22:48,171 --> 00:22:49,451 -We're just playing about, Scott. 315 00:22:53,775 --> 00:22:54,843 -Tess, what the fuck? 316 00:22:54,978 --> 00:22:57,013 -This is bullshit, hardin. This isn't us. 317 00:22:57,113 --> 00:23:00,250 -Us? What "us", Tess? There is no us. 318 00:23:00,350 --> 00:23:02,686 We. We keep going round in circles, and you, 319 00:23:02,785 --> 00:23:04,188 you just won't fucking give up. 320 00:23:04,922 --> 00:23:07,891 -God! What more do you need? 321 00:23:08,025 --> 00:23:09,226 You don't belong here. 322 00:23:09,293 --> 00:23:11,395 You shouldn't be here. You don't fit in here! 323 00:23:11,528 --> 00:23:12,963 So just go! 324 00:23:15,765 --> 00:23:17,167 -You win, hardin. 325 00:23:19,336 --> 00:23:20,437 You always do. 326 00:23:22,707 --> 00:23:23,947 -You'd know better than anyone. 327 00:23:54,674 --> 00:23:56,841 -♪ I'm broken ♪ 328 00:23:56,876 --> 00:23:59,779 ♪ tell you I'm fine ♪ 329 00:23:59,811 --> 00:24:01,314 ♪ but you wouldn't believe me ♪ 330 00:24:01,347 --> 00:24:04,016 ♪ if you knew the things that crossed my mind ♪ 331 00:24:06,019 --> 00:24:08,055 ♪ and I'm hurting ♪ 332 00:24:08,088 --> 00:24:09,456 ♪ but I show no sign ♪ 333 00:24:11,258 --> 00:24:13,327 ♪ 'cause I'm afraid to give in ♪ 334 00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:16,196 ♪ break down and waste your time ♪ 335 00:24:19,066 --> 00:24:20,143 -You sure you don't want help? 336 00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:22,069 -No, it's just a couple of things. 337 00:24:22,169 --> 00:24:26,641 I got most of it before Seattle anyway. So. 338 00:24:26,741 --> 00:24:28,109 -Okay. 339 00:24:29,944 --> 00:24:30,812 Don't say I didn't ask. 340 00:24:30,945 --> 00:24:32,013 Uh-hmm. 341 00:24:32,046 --> 00:24:34,182 -♪ Oh please come pick me up ♪ 342 00:24:34,215 --> 00:24:37,018 ♪ from my lowest take me higher ♪ 343 00:24:37,051 --> 00:24:38,486 ♪ can you see me ♪ 344 00:24:38,519 --> 00:24:41,189 ♪ through the ashes and the smoke ♪ 345 00:24:42,990 --> 00:24:45,159 ♪ I'm lonely ♪ 346 00:24:45,193 --> 00:24:47,061 ♪ it's been so long ♪ 347 00:24:48,230 --> 00:24:51,066 ♪ since I felt love to smile ♪ 348 00:24:51,100 --> 00:24:53,335 ♪ felt strong ♪ 349 00:24:53,369 --> 00:24:55,404 ♪ and what can I do ♪ 350 00:24:56,638 --> 00:24:59,742 ♪ I know I'm not friends with my reflection ♪ 351 00:24:59,775 --> 00:25:03,412 ♪ when I don't understand affection like you do ♪ 352 00:25:07,816 --> 00:25:09,119 -Tess, please. 353 00:25:09,152 --> 00:25:11,121 -♪ I'm begging you ♪ 354 00:25:11,154 --> 00:25:14,224 ♪ to come and pull me out the fire ♪ 355 00:25:14,257 --> 00:25:15,592 ♪ come and save me ♪ 356 00:25:15,625 --> 00:25:18,094 ♪ like you did when we were young ♪ 357 00:25:20,230 --> 00:25:22,932 ♪ oh please come pick me up ♪ 358 00:25:22,966 --> 00:25:25,735 ♪ from my lowest take me higher ♪ 359 00:25:25,769 --> 00:25:27,303 ♪ can you see me ♪ 360 00:25:27,337 --> 00:25:29,472 ♪ through the ashes and the smoke ♪ 361 00:25:31,275 --> 00:25:33,511 ♪ you say that you'll help me ♪ 362 00:25:33,544 --> 00:25:34,278 ♪ tell me I'm worth it ♪ 363 00:25:34,311 --> 00:25:36,113 ♪ but I don't deserve it ♪ 364 00:25:36,147 --> 00:25:37,481 ♪ I don't deserve it ♪ - hardin. 365 00:25:37,515 --> 00:25:39,517 -♪ It's easy for you 'cause you. ♪ 366 00:25:44,488 --> 00:25:45,488 -Hardin? 367 00:25:51,328 --> 00:25:53,398 -Well, that was one hell of a dream, man. 368 00:25:53,532 --> 00:25:54,532 Ooh. 369 00:25:57,235 --> 00:25:58,670 Are you okay? - Yeah. 370 00:25:58,737 --> 00:25:59,906 -Oh, fuck. 371 00:26:00,005 --> 00:26:01,206 Your hand looks pretty bad. 372 00:26:02,574 --> 00:26:04,376 Ah, it's not that bad. I'll be fine. 373 00:26:05,410 --> 00:26:07,112 Bro, you were fucking wrecked. 374 00:26:10,081 --> 00:26:11,383 -Hey, that American girl? 375 00:26:11,516 --> 00:26:13,595 I thought she was gonna tear the whole place down, bro. 376 00:26:13,619 --> 00:26:14,654 -She was a bitch. 377 00:26:47,454 --> 00:26:48,455 -Dad? 378 00:26:52,693 --> 00:26:53,693 Dad? 379 00:26:56,364 --> 00:26:57,364 Dad? 380 00:27:11,947 --> 00:27:13,214 Dad? 381 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:32,034 Oh no, no! - It's okay. It's okay. 382 00:27:32,167 --> 00:27:33,469 I got you, I got you. 383 00:28:46,046 --> 00:28:47,580 - Cheers. - Cheers. 384 00:28:50,116 --> 00:28:51,284 Strong enough for you? 385 00:28:51,384 --> 00:28:52,544 Yeah. It wasn't strong enough. 386 00:28:53,887 --> 00:28:55,089 Hardin, your phone's ringing. 387 00:28:55,188 --> 00:28:57,091 It's Landon. 388 00:28:57,123 --> 00:28:58,758 Mr. Scott's very busy at the moment. 389 00:28:58,791 --> 00:29:00,126 Can I take him... - Hey. 390 00:29:00,226 --> 00:29:01,661 Whoa-oh! 391 00:29:02,562 --> 00:29:04,031 -Landon, if I wanted to talk to you, 392 00:29:04,098 --> 00:29:06,576 I would have picked up the phone the other 30 times you called. 393 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,502 You know what? I know you're a selfish prick. 394 00:29:08,535 --> 00:29:10,081 I thought you could help, but, you know what? 395 00:29:10,105 --> 00:29:11,848 She's... she's... she's gonna get through this without you. 396 00:29:11,872 --> 00:29:13,707 -Get through what? 397 00:29:13,807 --> 00:29:14,807 La...? 398 00:29:23,217 --> 00:29:25,219 Landon? What's wrong? 399 00:29:25,252 --> 00:29:26,454 Just tell me she's okay. 400 00:29:27,756 --> 00:29:28,756 -It's, um. 401 00:29:31,393 --> 00:29:33,395 It's Richard. He's dead. 402 00:29:33,428 --> 00:29:35,563 And, uh, Tessa found him. 403 00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:39,935 -Fuck. 404 00:29:40,036 --> 00:29:41,670 Oh, fuck. 405 00:29:43,039 --> 00:29:44,873 Um. Where... where is she? 406 00:29:45,007 --> 00:29:46,008 -We're at her mom's. 407 00:29:46,174 --> 00:29:47,710 She hasn't. She hasn't spoken a word. 408 00:29:49,512 --> 00:29:51,247 -Can you let me talk to her? 409 00:29:51,380 --> 00:29:52,700 -I don't think that's a good idea. 410 00:29:52,748 --> 00:29:53,649 -Please. 411 00:29:53,716 --> 00:29:55,685 Please just put the phone to her ear. 412 00:29:55,785 --> 00:29:57,329 -You know, you really shouldn't be speaking to her. 413 00:29:57,353 --> 00:29:58,530 -Then why the fuck did you call? 414 00:29:58,554 --> 00:29:59,422 Of course, I'm who she needs! 415 00:29:59,522 --> 00:30:00,991 You know us! You know me! 416 00:30:01,024 --> 00:30:02,291 All right, fine. 417 00:30:02,391 --> 00:30:04,660 Just stay calm, okay? Just give me a second. 418 00:30:12,836 --> 00:30:13,836 Hey, Tessa. 419 00:30:15,505 --> 00:30:16,273 I have hardin on the phone for you. 420 00:30:16,339 --> 00:30:17,808 -Um-mm, um-mm, um-umm. 421 00:30:17,874 --> 00:30:19,452 - Okay, okay. You don't have to. - No, no. No, no. 422 00:30:19,476 --> 00:30:21,311 No. No. No. - It's fine. 423 00:30:21,344 --> 00:30:23,480 - Please, no! - Don't worry. It's fine. - Tess. 424 00:30:24,982 --> 00:30:26,383 Fuck! 425 00:30:42,201 --> 00:30:43,301 Oh! 426 00:31:03,555 --> 00:31:05,290 -I mean, it's gonna be me or your mom 427 00:31:05,424 --> 00:31:07,426 and she's gonna make you eat it. 428 00:31:08,327 --> 00:31:09,896 Looks pretty good. 429 00:31:11,597 --> 00:31:13,500 I'm just so tired. 430 00:31:15,835 --> 00:31:16,835 -Hmm. 431 00:31:32,019 --> 00:31:34,588 You're enjoying yourself. 432 00:31:34,688 --> 00:31:37,825 -One little slip and it could all be over. 433 00:31:39,794 --> 00:31:41,462 -Are you still talking about my shave? 434 00:31:46,101 --> 00:31:47,368 -I meant the shave, 435 00:31:47,468 --> 00:31:49,470 but if you wanted to talk about last night. 436 00:31:51,072 --> 00:31:53,307 -I'm sorry, Tess. 437 00:31:53,407 --> 00:31:55,376 I didn't mean to get that trashed. 438 00:31:55,409 --> 00:31:56,778 It's just with your dad... 439 00:31:56,812 --> 00:31:58,080 I'm not my dad. I'm not him. 440 00:31:59,748 --> 00:32:01,383 Tess, if you don't like it, tell me. 441 00:32:01,483 --> 00:32:03,385 - I don't like it. - Then I'll stop. 442 00:32:04,519 --> 00:32:05,687 I won't drink another drop. 443 00:32:05,821 --> 00:32:07,089 -Really? 444 00:32:24,041 --> 00:32:25,041 What... what are you.? 445 00:32:54,404 --> 00:32:55,873 She doesn't want you here. 446 00:32:55,974 --> 00:32:56,840 I didn't fly 447 00:32:56,941 --> 00:32:58,421 5,000 fucking miles to argue with you. 448 00:32:58,475 --> 00:32:59,743 I don't know if she's awake. 449 00:32:59,810 --> 00:33:01,189 Let me just at least see if she's... hardin! 450 00:33:01,213 --> 00:33:02,248 -Tess. 451 00:33:02,348 --> 00:33:03,349 Hey. - No. No, no. 452 00:33:03,448 --> 00:33:04,250 No, no, no. - Hey, hey, hey. 453 00:33:04,382 --> 00:33:05,617 -Do you want him here, Tess? 454 00:33:05,717 --> 00:33:07,195 -You're fucked if you think I'm going anywhere. 455 00:33:07,219 --> 00:33:07,953 Tess. - No, get off me! 456 00:33:08,020 --> 00:33:09,321 -Hey, it's okay. 457 00:33:09,420 --> 00:33:10,420 You gotta leave. 458 00:33:10,555 --> 00:33:11,765 You gotta leave or I'm calling the cops? 459 00:33:11,789 --> 00:33:13,069 -Call the fucking cops. Call 'em. 460 00:33:13,158 --> 00:33:14,668 I'm not going anywhere! - That's not funny! 461 00:33:14,692 --> 00:33:16,537 - I'm not laughing! - She doesn't want you here! 462 00:33:16,561 --> 00:33:18,264 You have no fucking idea what she wants! 463 00:33:18,396 --> 00:33:19,573 -You weren't here when she needed you! 464 00:33:19,597 --> 00:33:21,533 Now, you're make... You're making it worse. 465 00:33:23,136 --> 00:33:24,337 - Tess? 466 00:33:24,436 --> 00:33:26,605 -Ugh, she's trying to avoid you. 467 00:33:26,705 --> 00:33:27,865 You're the reason she took... 468 00:33:32,645 --> 00:33:33,980 -I'll check the front door. 469 00:34:00,174 --> 00:34:01,608 Hey, hey, Tess. 470 00:34:03,110 --> 00:34:05,713 -It's not about you. 471 00:34:05,813 --> 00:34:07,049 -I know. I... I just want to... 472 00:34:07,082 --> 00:34:08,116 I need quiet . 473 00:34:09,684 --> 00:34:10,684 Please. 474 00:34:52,997 --> 00:34:55,232 -I haven't always treated you fairly. 475 00:34:55,366 --> 00:34:57,267 -You hate me, Carol. 476 00:34:57,368 --> 00:34:58,368 You've always hated me. 477 00:34:58,402 --> 00:34:59,769 And it's fine. I don't care. 478 00:34:59,902 --> 00:35:02,406 But you should know your opinion means fuck all to me. 479 00:35:02,538 --> 00:35:04,375 And I mean that in the nicest way. 480 00:35:04,441 --> 00:35:05,775 -You're exactly like him. 481 00:35:05,909 --> 00:35:07,921 That's exactly how Richard used to talk to my parents. 482 00:35:07,945 --> 00:35:09,180 -I am not him. 483 00:35:09,247 --> 00:35:10,681 -All right. Well. 484 00:35:10,748 --> 00:35:12,783 I only care about what's best for Tessa. 485 00:35:12,917 --> 00:35:14,152 -So do I. 486 00:35:14,252 --> 00:35:17,322 -The one thing that I thought that I taught her, 487 00:35:17,455 --> 00:35:19,857 and you may not believe me, 488 00:35:19,958 --> 00:35:24,162 was to not have to depend on a man the way that I did. 489 00:35:24,295 --> 00:35:26,530 And now, look at her. 490 00:35:26,663 --> 00:35:29,667 She's... she's reduced to nothing every time you leave. 491 00:35:29,734 --> 00:35:32,304 - Listen, I'm not... - No, no. Let me finish. 492 00:35:32,371 --> 00:35:34,672 Yeah, you always come back 493 00:35:34,806 --> 00:35:38,077 the way that Richard never did for us. 494 00:35:38,210 --> 00:35:39,711 But you never stay. 495 00:35:45,817 --> 00:35:48,154 -I don't know what you want from me, Carol. 496 00:35:48,287 --> 00:35:49,455 I love her. 497 00:35:49,522 --> 00:35:50,990 I'm never letting her go. 498 00:35:51,091 --> 00:35:53,460 -If you really love her, then you'll do what's best for her. 499 00:35:53,527 --> 00:35:55,028 And that is up to you now. 500 00:35:55,128 --> 00:35:57,964 Because you are the only person that she'll listen to. 501 00:35:58,031 --> 00:36:00,733 That girl loves you way too much for her own good. 502 00:36:01,567 --> 00:36:04,570 But hardin, you and I both know 503 00:36:04,703 --> 00:36:06,907 that you can't give her what she needs. 504 00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:11,111 And that is stopping her from finding someone who will. 505 00:36:30,331 --> 00:36:32,666 -I can only imagine how you're feeling right now. 506 00:36:36,305 --> 00:36:39,707 I keep thinking about the last time I saw him. 507 00:36:39,807 --> 00:36:41,642 He was eating half my damn pizza. 508 00:36:41,709 --> 00:36:45,013 He was happy. 509 00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:47,249 -Just happy he had a place to stay. 510 00:36:55,291 --> 00:36:59,262 -I am so sorry for what happened in London. 511 00:37:05,634 --> 00:37:07,270 I really am. 512 00:37:07,337 --> 00:37:11,508 -I thought we had a love that was out of a novel. 513 00:37:11,574 --> 00:37:13,977 And no matter how hard or fast or tough it was, 514 00:37:14,043 --> 00:37:16,212 we'd survive to tell the story. 515 00:37:18,048 --> 00:37:20,050 Hey. 516 00:37:20,184 --> 00:37:24,288 We do. And we can. We can survive it. 517 00:37:28,092 --> 00:37:30,427 -I don't wanna survive. I want to live. 518 00:37:43,942 --> 00:37:47,546 I can't keep doing this. 519 00:37:47,646 --> 00:37:50,081 -Tess. 520 00:37:50,215 --> 00:37:53,751 -You don't love me enough to fight for me. 521 00:37:53,884 --> 00:37:56,221 You gave up every time. 522 00:38:03,762 --> 00:38:06,299 -I tried. 523 00:38:06,399 --> 00:38:08,334 I really fucking tried. 524 00:38:13,372 --> 00:38:15,341 I'm sorry I couldn't fix you. 525 00:38:19,579 --> 00:38:21,348 -Me, too. 526 00:38:27,688 --> 00:38:28,721 Me, too. 527 00:38:58,019 --> 00:39:00,221 -Who's paying for all this? 528 00:39:00,288 --> 00:39:02,408 -You don't have to worry about money right now, honey. 529 00:39:05,661 --> 00:39:06,894 -Hey. 530 00:39:08,264 --> 00:39:10,933 Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. It's okay. 531 00:39:14,103 --> 00:39:18,674 Ugh. Hey, I got make up on... - Oh. And. 532 00:39:18,707 --> 00:39:19,707 And a little bit of snot. 533 00:39:19,774 --> 00:39:20,875 Just a little bit. 534 00:39:23,112 --> 00:39:25,415 - You ready? - Yeah. 535 00:40:08,794 --> 00:40:11,363 -I hadn't seen my father for nine years. 536 00:40:13,598 --> 00:40:16,468 But reconnecting with him was one of the greatest gifts. 537 00:40:18,470 --> 00:40:19,604 Even if it was only briefly. 538 00:40:23,475 --> 00:40:26,011 He had so many demons, but. 539 00:40:27,813 --> 00:40:30,483 He was also so kind. 540 00:40:34,153 --> 00:40:35,633 And he was trying to be better for me. 541 00:40:38,890 --> 00:40:39,891 I know that. 542 00:40:57,978 --> 00:40:59,513 -You need a ride? Hardin? 543 00:41:02,182 --> 00:41:03,262 -I don't think I should go. 544 00:41:03,317 --> 00:41:05,719 -Why? You were his friend, kind of. 545 00:41:05,853 --> 00:41:07,421 And you paid for it, so. 546 00:41:07,554 --> 00:41:10,324 -Landon, do me a favor and keep that between us. 547 00:41:10,391 --> 00:41:12,127 -Sure. Doesn't mean you shouldn't come. 548 00:41:12,260 --> 00:41:13,728 So, come. 549 00:41:47,430 --> 00:41:49,298 -Sorry, I didn't know that you were. 550 00:41:56,273 --> 00:41:58,608 I don't know half these people. 551 00:41:58,675 --> 00:42:00,143 It's kind of weird. 552 00:42:00,210 --> 00:42:03,814 When people go to funerals of someone they don't even know. 553 00:42:03,947 --> 00:42:05,682 -It's just especially him. 554 00:42:05,749 --> 00:42:08,251 I mean, they're total hypocrites. 555 00:42:08,318 --> 00:42:10,921 No one here even liked him. 556 00:42:11,021 --> 00:42:12,055 -You did. 557 00:42:14,524 --> 00:42:15,592 And even I did. 558 00:42:18,062 --> 00:42:19,964 -I'm really mad at him. 559 00:42:20,064 --> 00:42:23,534 I'm like. I'm like pissed off. 560 00:42:23,601 --> 00:42:26,204 -Hey, you have every right to be mad at him. 561 00:42:26,270 --> 00:42:28,873 Whether he's dead or not. 562 00:42:28,941 --> 00:42:33,478 I saw how much it meant to you to have him back in your life. 563 00:42:33,544 --> 00:42:35,847 And I think he is an idiot 564 00:42:36,013 --> 00:42:38,350 for throwing that all the way just to get high. 565 00:42:42,521 --> 00:42:44,389 But I mean, I'm one to talk, aren't I? 566 00:42:46,558 --> 00:42:48,494 I'm so sorry it took something like this 567 00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:51,230 for me to realize how much you mean to me. 568 00:42:51,363 --> 00:42:55,467 And how much. I want to be there for you. 569 00:43:04,277 --> 00:43:06,579 -I need to go back inside. 570 00:43:15,288 --> 00:43:16,656 -Okay. 571 00:43:27,902 --> 00:43:28,902 Oh, come on. 572 00:43:33,942 --> 00:43:36,377 Thank you so much for everything. 573 00:43:36,510 --> 00:43:37,510 -Yeah, of course. 574 00:43:38,646 --> 00:43:40,147 -Hey, could I have a lift? 575 00:43:40,281 --> 00:43:41,649 My ubers keep canceling. 576 00:43:41,782 --> 00:43:43,184 -I'm supposed to be meeting Nora 577 00:43:43,318 --> 00:43:45,387 and I'm already late, so. 578 00:43:45,487 --> 00:43:46,721 - Cool. - Yeah. 579 00:43:48,723 --> 00:43:49,963 We'll see if this one turns up. 580 00:43:52,060 --> 00:43:53,895 Do you want to come with me? 581 00:43:53,996 --> 00:43:55,564 Back to Ken's. 582 00:43:55,697 --> 00:43:58,400 -I should really stay here. 583 00:43:58,533 --> 00:43:59,936 It's been a long day 584 00:44:00,068 --> 00:44:01,971 and I've got a doctor's appointment in Seattle. 585 00:44:02,103 --> 00:44:03,606 Tomorrow. 586 00:44:03,739 --> 00:44:05,575 -Sure. 587 00:44:05,641 --> 00:44:06,809 Vance and Kimberly back? 588 00:44:06,876 --> 00:44:08,045 They get back in the morning. 589 00:44:08,244 --> 00:44:10,244 They're trying to work everything out for the baby. 590 00:44:15,551 --> 00:44:18,354 -You know what? I'm... I'm gonna come with you. 591 00:44:18,487 --> 00:44:20,098 I'm gonna start looking for places up there. 592 00:44:20,122 --> 00:44:21,490 I'm ready. 593 00:44:21,557 --> 00:44:23,259 - I don't... I don't think... - Tess. Tess, 594 00:44:23,359 --> 00:44:24,795 it's my turn to be there for you. 595 00:44:26,496 --> 00:44:29,166 -I don't want anything from you anymore. 596 00:44:35,105 --> 00:44:36,106 -I don't believe you. 597 00:44:38,442 --> 00:44:40,644 And I don't think you believe yourself either. 598 00:44:58,596 --> 00:45:02,567 -I'm so sorry that we weren't at your father's funeral. 599 00:45:02,700 --> 00:45:03,835 -No, no, it's fine. 600 00:45:03,901 --> 00:45:07,706 Um, ugh. I wouldn't have been good company anyway. 601 00:45:09,775 --> 00:45:12,544 Uh, I was actually, 602 00:45:12,611 --> 00:45:14,913 I was thinking about moving to New York. 603 00:45:16,482 --> 00:45:17,616 With Landon. 604 00:45:19,318 --> 00:45:21,988 -New York? That... 605 00:45:22,122 --> 00:45:23,889 Wow! 606 00:45:23,990 --> 00:45:25,491 What's your plan? 607 00:45:25,557 --> 00:45:27,003 Do you know where you're gonna work, what...? 608 00:45:27,027 --> 00:45:29,562 -Not really. I. I mean, I know it's far. 609 00:45:29,696 --> 00:45:31,865 I just think that I need a fresh start. 610 00:45:33,833 --> 00:45:37,071 -Tessa, it's okay to be sad. 611 00:45:37,170 --> 00:45:39,272 But if you let sadness control your life, 612 00:45:39,406 --> 00:45:41,541 you'll never have one. 613 00:45:41,608 --> 00:45:45,378 -But what if I just always feel like this? 614 00:45:45,445 --> 00:45:47,982 -What you've been through is awful. 615 00:45:48,115 --> 00:45:49,516 But you are so strong, 616 00:45:49,649 --> 00:45:51,252 and I know you'll get through this. 617 00:45:52,820 --> 00:45:55,556 It just takes time. 618 00:45:55,690 --> 00:45:58,859 And as for hardin. 619 00:45:58,994 --> 00:46:01,529 Girl, just do your best to pretend you're moving on 620 00:46:01,696 --> 00:46:04,832 and eventually, you'll believe it. 621 00:46:15,178 --> 00:46:17,312 -Why did you stay if you knew she wanted him? 622 00:46:19,314 --> 00:46:22,217 -I loved her. 623 00:46:22,317 --> 00:46:24,295 I thought that she would see that he couldn't give her 624 00:46:24,319 --> 00:46:27,622 the stability that I could. 625 00:46:27,689 --> 00:46:35,398 You know, I imagine if. If Tessa marries another man, 626 00:46:35,531 --> 00:46:38,534 this is how he's gonna feel, competing with a memory of you. 627 00:46:38,601 --> 00:46:40,870 -I'm not Vance, okay? Just because. 628 00:46:44,074 --> 00:46:46,642 I'm not him. 629 00:46:52,615 --> 00:46:54,752 -You are. 630 00:46:56,154 --> 00:46:57,921 Okay. 631 00:47:04,394 --> 00:47:07,031 So, it's... it's true. 632 00:47:07,132 --> 00:47:08,899 He's your father. 633 00:47:10,334 --> 00:47:14,371 I knew it. I knew it the first time that I saw you. 634 00:47:14,438 --> 00:47:16,441 You look just like him. 635 00:47:16,574 --> 00:47:18,010 I did everything so wrong. 636 00:47:20,845 --> 00:47:22,914 And I couldn't stand that you were his. 637 00:47:25,117 --> 00:47:27,819 That doesn't excuse the drinking, but. 638 00:47:31,422 --> 00:47:33,291 I've loved you. 639 00:47:33,424 --> 00:47:34,859 I still love you. 640 00:47:38,397 --> 00:47:39,698 You're my son. 641 00:47:54,247 --> 00:47:55,247 I'm sorry. 642 00:48:22,577 --> 00:48:25,113 -Let's talk about these test results. 643 00:48:25,247 --> 00:48:27,381 Unfortunately, the chances are very slim 644 00:48:27,448 --> 00:48:30,219 that you will carry to term. 645 00:48:30,252 --> 00:48:32,920 There are other options. 646 00:48:32,955 --> 00:48:36,058 Adoption is a route many people choose. 647 00:48:37,558 --> 00:48:42,431 -♪ You told me I would never see you walk away ♪ 648 00:48:42,464 --> 00:48:45,268 ♪ said you'd never break my heart ♪ 649 00:48:45,301 --> 00:48:47,502 ♪ never leave me in the dark ♪ 650 00:48:47,536 --> 00:48:49,705 ♪ I guess there's just some promises ♪ 651 00:48:49,738 --> 00:48:52,774 ♪ you shouldn't make ♪ 652 00:48:52,808 --> 00:48:54,978 ♪ should've known from the start ♪ 653 00:48:55,011 --> 00:48:58,014 ♪ now in the dark ♪ 654 00:48:58,047 --> 00:49:00,316 ♪ show a little loving ♪ 655 00:49:00,350 --> 00:49:02,987 ♪ shine a little light on me ♪ 656 00:49:03,020 --> 00:49:05,822 ♪ show a little loving ♪ 657 00:49:05,855 --> 00:49:09,960 ♪ I'm in the dark I can't see ♪ 658 00:49:09,994 --> 00:49:12,462 ♪ can't see ♪ 659 00:49:12,495 --> 00:49:13,930 ♪ can't see ♪ 660 00:49:13,964 --> 00:49:17,533 ♪ just feeling my way back to you ♪ 661 00:49:17,567 --> 00:49:19,936 ♪ I can't feel ♪ 662 00:49:19,970 --> 00:49:22,373 ♪ I can't feel ♪ 663 00:49:22,405 --> 00:49:25,043 ♪ I can't feel ♪ 664 00:49:25,076 --> 00:49:28,079 ♪ reach out and show a little loving ♪ 665 00:49:28,113 --> 00:49:28,980 ♪ shine a little light on me ♪ 666 00:49:29,014 --> 00:49:30,447 - Hey. - Hey. 667 00:49:30,481 --> 00:49:31,849 - ♪ Show a little loving ♪ - hey. 668 00:49:31,882 --> 00:49:33,261 Hey, I've been trying you all day. What's up? 669 00:49:33,285 --> 00:49:34,585 ♪ Show a little loving ♪ 670 00:49:34,718 --> 00:49:36,553 Um, I left my phone on silent. 671 00:49:36,587 --> 00:49:37,965 -♪ You told me I would never see you go astray ♪ 672 00:49:37,989 --> 00:49:39,757 -Is everything okay? 673 00:49:39,790 --> 00:49:46,065 No, not really. But. I have to go. 674 00:49:46,098 --> 00:49:48,100 -♪ I guess there's just some promises ♪ 675 00:49:48,134 --> 00:49:50,970 ♪ you shouldn't make ♪ 676 00:49:51,003 --> 00:49:53,705 ♪ should've known from the start ♪ 677 00:49:53,738 --> 00:49:55,907 ♪ I'm in the dark ♪ 678 00:49:55,941 --> 00:49:57,909 ♪ I can't see ♪ 679 00:49:57,943 --> 00:50:00,146 ♪ can't see ♪ 680 00:50:00,179 --> 00:50:03,782 ♪ reach out and show a little loving ♪ 681 00:50:03,815 --> 00:50:06,451 ♪ shine a little light on me ♪ 682 00:50:06,484 --> 00:50:08,888 ♪ show a little loving ♪ 683 00:50:08,956 --> 00:50:10,923 Tess? 684 00:50:11,757 --> 00:50:12,960 -Tessa? 685 00:50:14,428 --> 00:50:15,828 Hey, Tess. 686 00:50:17,965 --> 00:50:19,166 - Hardin. 687 00:50:19,299 --> 00:50:20,299 -Hey, come inside. 688 00:50:22,535 --> 00:50:24,004 -I had a feeling you'd come. 689 00:50:24,071 --> 00:50:25,339 - Did you? - Yeah. 690 00:50:27,207 --> 00:50:28,208 It's late. 691 00:50:28,308 --> 00:50:29,576 -It is. 692 00:50:35,782 --> 00:50:38,652 - Do you want a baby with me? 693 00:50:38,785 --> 00:50:40,288 -No, I don't want a baby with you. 694 00:50:42,156 --> 00:50:43,992 -I mean. 695 00:50:44,092 --> 00:50:45,126 I just. 696 00:50:46,827 --> 00:50:48,495 I don't want a baby right now. 697 00:50:50,865 --> 00:50:52,134 -I love sleep. 698 00:50:52,201 --> 00:50:55,803 My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake. 699 00:50:55,903 --> 00:50:58,407 - Your life is gonna be just fine, okay? 700 00:50:58,539 --> 00:51:02,077 -You said it once. There can be no happy end to it. 701 00:51:03,945 --> 00:51:05,147 I didn't mean that. 702 00:51:06,514 --> 00:51:07,882 And I shouldn't have said it. 703 00:51:11,020 --> 00:51:12,688 -I love you enough now. 704 00:51:12,821 --> 00:51:15,091 What do you want to do? 705 00:51:15,158 --> 00:51:17,093 - I love you. - Shush. We can quote Hemingway 706 00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:19,095 when we're sober, okay? 707 00:51:19,162 --> 00:51:21,464 For now, just go to sleep. 708 00:51:24,401 --> 00:51:25,901 Go to sleep. 709 00:51:27,170 --> 00:51:28,904 -Stay. 710 00:51:57,902 --> 00:51:59,137 -Morning. 711 00:51:59,237 --> 00:52:00,238 -Morning. 712 00:52:02,307 --> 00:52:08,280 Um, what did I say last night? 713 00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:13,018 You mean, besides quoting Hemingway? 714 00:52:13,118 --> 00:52:15,754 -Oh, no, I didn't. 715 00:52:15,821 --> 00:52:16,989 -It wasn't that bad. 716 00:52:22,361 --> 00:52:23,361 Do you, uh. 717 00:52:25,164 --> 00:52:27,084 Do you want to tell me what's been bothering you? 718 00:52:28,968 --> 00:52:30,570 -It's nothing. It's the doctor. 719 00:52:30,702 --> 00:52:31,736 Listen. 720 00:52:33,072 --> 00:52:34,550 If you are pregnant, I just wanted to say 721 00:52:34,574 --> 00:52:37,111 that I would genuinely be okay with that. 722 00:52:38,312 --> 00:52:40,380 It really would not be so bad having kids with you. 723 00:52:43,183 --> 00:52:46,487 Or, obviously, if you're... If you're not pregnant, 724 00:52:46,587 --> 00:52:49,256 I guess maybe after you finish college, 725 00:52:49,323 --> 00:52:51,592 or I don't know, either way. 726 00:52:55,828 --> 00:52:57,264 -I can't get pregnant. 727 00:52:59,900 --> 00:53:02,570 The. The doctor said that it'll... 728 00:53:02,669 --> 00:53:06,074 It'd be almost impossible for me to conceive. 729 00:53:06,207 --> 00:53:08,909 And even if I did, there'd be a high risk of miscarriage 730 00:53:08,977 --> 00:53:10,278 so I can't. 731 00:53:18,620 --> 00:53:19,787 -Agh! 732 00:53:21,257 --> 00:53:23,058 -Uh, can you say somethin'? 733 00:53:26,694 --> 00:53:28,164 -I don't know what to say. 734 00:53:28,264 --> 00:53:29,807 -What do you... what do you mean, you don't know what... 735 00:53:29,831 --> 00:53:30,765 You don't want kids anyway. 736 00:53:30,832 --> 00:53:33,801 -No, I-I-I didn't. 737 00:53:35,204 --> 00:53:37,739 Now, it just feels like it's been taken away from us. 738 00:53:37,839 --> 00:53:40,342 -Uh, no, not from you. From me. 739 00:53:43,980 --> 00:53:45,248 -Wait. 740 00:53:45,348 --> 00:53:46,825 That was the wrong thing to say. You know I didn't mean it. 741 00:53:46,849 --> 00:53:48,351 Tess, wait. Please wait. 742 00:53:49,386 --> 00:53:50,953 Tessa. 743 00:53:51,054 --> 00:53:53,156 -Please just don't shut down on me again. 744 00:53:53,290 --> 00:53:57,294 I don't give a fuck if we can have kids or not, honestly. 745 00:53:57,394 --> 00:53:59,405 -I'm sorry that you feel like I took something from you. 746 00:53:59,429 --> 00:54:00,772 - I don't. - But you're not the one 747 00:54:00,796 --> 00:54:03,034 who's just had their dreams crushed here, you know? 748 00:54:04,701 --> 00:54:06,413 Like you didn't want kids until two seconds ago 749 00:54:06,437 --> 00:54:08,372 which just came out of nowhere. 750 00:54:12,076 --> 00:54:13,377 -I just want to be with you. 751 00:54:14,811 --> 00:54:17,248 Kids, no kids. 752 00:54:17,348 --> 00:54:18,482 When I was in London, 753 00:54:18,583 --> 00:54:20,351 I could not stop thinking about you. 754 00:54:22,119 --> 00:54:25,324 -Right. Yeah, I'm sure... I'm sure you saw my face 755 00:54:25,457 --> 00:54:27,659 when you were sleeping with that girl at the party. 756 00:54:27,758 --> 00:54:29,161 -Who are you.? What? 757 00:54:29,261 --> 00:54:32,965 Te... nothing of the sort happened. 758 00:54:33,031 --> 00:54:34,375 And I won't lie to you. - Shut up. You did. 759 00:54:34,399 --> 00:54:36,702 -She did... she did try to kiss me and when she did, 760 00:54:36,834 --> 00:54:39,504 I literally threw up, so. 761 00:54:39,605 --> 00:54:42,040 -You literally threw up. 762 00:54:42,140 --> 00:54:43,242 -I did. 763 00:54:43,342 --> 00:54:45,411 - Threw up. - I threw up. 764 00:54:45,545 --> 00:54:49,415 Instant noodles, and it went on her head. 765 00:54:52,619 --> 00:54:53,752 -Good. 766 00:54:53,885 --> 00:54:55,288 - Good? 767 00:54:56,656 --> 00:54:57,991 - Yeah, good. - Good. 768 00:55:11,138 --> 00:55:13,707 And that is why hardin is afraid of gerbils. 769 00:55:16,310 --> 00:55:17,750 -If you don't stop makin' up stories, 770 00:55:17,844 --> 00:55:19,724 I'll tell Nora about that time you wet yourself. 771 00:55:21,148 --> 00:55:22,148 -Touché. 772 00:55:22,216 --> 00:55:23,150 -All right, then. 773 00:55:23,217 --> 00:55:25,753 -This is so good. The sauce is amazing. 774 00:55:25,852 --> 00:55:27,763 -It's all of Landon's favorites before he leaves us. 775 00:55:27,787 --> 00:55:30,891 -This food almost makes me sad to go. 776 00:55:30,992 --> 00:55:34,763 -So Nora, what part of New York are you in? 777 00:55:34,862 --> 00:55:37,198 -Um, east 14th and first ave. 778 00:55:37,265 --> 00:55:40,302 -What she actually meant was how far is it from Landon. 779 00:55:40,402 --> 00:55:42,103 Oh. Um. 780 00:55:42,203 --> 00:55:44,472 - Like. - Like 50 minutes by train. 781 00:55:44,572 --> 00:55:45,974 -Fifty minutes. 782 00:55:46,074 --> 00:55:47,285 I'm sorry. It's just practically long distance. 783 00:55:47,309 --> 00:55:48,552 I don't know how you're gonna make that work. 784 00:55:48,576 --> 00:55:50,279 -I mean, I have to go through there 785 00:55:50,379 --> 00:55:51,747 to get to class every day. 786 00:55:51,846 --> 00:55:53,086 I mean, not... not that we'd be 787 00:55:53,182 --> 00:55:55,418 seeing each other every day. But I mean, we could 788 00:55:55,518 --> 00:55:57,720 if you wanted too. 789 00:55:59,921 --> 00:56:01,890 -So, hardin, graduation is looming. 790 00:56:01,991 --> 00:56:03,201 -No, we're not doing this again. I don't want... 791 00:56:03,225 --> 00:56:04,336 -Have you given more thought to... 792 00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:05,840 -No, I haven't 'cause I'm not going to 793 00:56:05,894 --> 00:56:07,739 walk for graduation, okay? I don't want to walk. 794 00:56:07,763 --> 00:56:09,065 - Really? - Yeah, really. 795 00:56:09,165 --> 00:56:10,266 - You sure? - I'm sure. 796 00:56:10,399 --> 00:56:11,568 -Hm. 797 00:56:12,502 --> 00:56:14,037 I just thought. 798 00:56:14,137 --> 00:56:16,473 I don't know. I just thought for sure you'd reconsider. 799 00:56:17,641 --> 00:56:19,142 -So you've obviously asked her 800 00:56:19,276 --> 00:56:21,445 to ask me? - What? What? 801 00:56:22,746 --> 00:56:24,506 Fuck it, fine. I'll walk for graduation then. 802 00:56:25,948 --> 00:56:27,428 - Yes! - Don't make me change my mind. 803 00:56:28,552 --> 00:56:30,320 -To walking. 804 00:56:30,420 --> 00:56:31,321 Cheers to that. 805 00:56:31,421 --> 00:56:33,591 - To walking. - Cheers to that. 806 00:56:33,725 --> 00:56:35,005 - To walking. - Here we go again. 807 00:56:41,432 --> 00:56:43,568 Come on. 808 00:56:53,979 --> 00:56:57,783 -Hey, I need to talk to you about something. 809 00:56:57,850 --> 00:56:58,984 -Okay. 810 00:57:15,033 --> 00:57:17,537 -I made a decision about something, and I didn't. 811 00:57:19,973 --> 00:57:22,776 With everything that's been going on 812 00:57:22,876 --> 00:57:25,044 because of a lot of things, but. 813 00:57:27,680 --> 00:57:29,115 We need time apart. 814 00:57:29,182 --> 00:57:35,388 Like. Like really apart. 815 00:57:35,488 --> 00:57:36,489 And... 816 00:57:37,491 --> 00:57:39,794 -This seems like the only way to make sure 817 00:57:39,860 --> 00:57:42,430 that that actually happen. 818 00:57:42,563 --> 00:57:43,930 -Okay, why? 819 00:57:44,064 --> 00:57:46,933 -Because we fight more than we get along. 820 00:57:47,034 --> 00:57:50,971 And when we make up, it's over sex. 821 00:57:53,107 --> 00:57:55,209 -That's not... That's not really true. 822 00:57:55,309 --> 00:57:57,044 -It is, and it's not healthy. 823 00:57:57,144 --> 00:58:00,015 How is sex not healthy? 824 00:58:00,115 --> 00:58:04,052 We've been having lots of fun, happy, consensual sex. 825 00:58:04,152 --> 00:58:07,122 And it's been full of fucking love and fucking trust. 826 00:58:07,189 --> 00:58:10,091 -I can't keep going around in circles like this. 827 00:58:11,893 --> 00:58:16,231 -Okay, okay. I understand. 828 00:58:16,364 --> 00:58:18,700 And I do have a lot to work on. 829 00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:19,936 But we have so much time. 830 00:58:20,036 --> 00:58:21,737 We have all the time in the world, 831 00:58:21,804 --> 00:58:22,804 and I will work on them. 832 00:58:22,839 --> 00:58:23,916 And I can come live with you 833 00:58:23,940 --> 00:58:26,309 in Seattle. - Okay. Okay. 834 00:58:26,442 --> 00:58:28,778 I'm moving. 835 00:58:28,878 --> 00:58:30,680 -Okay. 836 00:58:30,780 --> 00:58:32,582 I'm moving to New York. 837 00:58:32,682 --> 00:58:34,150 I'm gonna live with Landon. 838 00:58:34,250 --> 00:58:35,551 -Landon? 839 00:58:35,651 --> 00:58:36,651 What? This was his idea? 840 00:58:36,686 --> 00:58:38,654 -No, no, no. This was my idea. 841 00:58:38,721 --> 00:58:39,856 This wasn't. Don't... 842 00:58:39,956 --> 00:58:41,134 -He's supposed to be my fucking brother. 843 00:58:41,158 --> 00:58:43,660 -It's not like that. It's... no! Hey! 844 00:58:44,928 --> 00:58:45,629 - No, no. - I'm just gonna... 845 00:58:45,696 --> 00:58:46,864 New York! 846 00:58:46,930 --> 00:58:47,974 New York! You didn't fucking tell me! 847 00:58:47,998 --> 00:58:49,099 Well, it wasn't my call. 848 00:58:49,199 --> 00:58:50,443 You'd broken up with her. What do you...? 849 00:58:50,467 --> 00:58:52,345 -You've been pretending to be my fucking friend! 850 00:58:52,369 --> 00:58:54,338 -I didn't pretend shit, hardin! 851 00:58:54,438 --> 00:58:57,140 I'm her friend too, and i'm cleaning up your shit as usual. 852 00:58:58,475 --> 00:58:59,243 Well, go ahead. 853 00:58:59,343 --> 00:59:00,644 Fucking hit me, you big man. 854 00:59:00,744 --> 00:59:02,012 Big piece of shit. 855 00:59:10,555 --> 00:59:12,657 - Fuck. 856 00:59:31,810 --> 00:59:35,180 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Tess, but. 857 00:59:36,715 --> 00:59:38,784 You know, of all people, 858 00:59:38,851 --> 00:59:42,022 he knows how much you mean to me. 859 00:59:42,154 --> 00:59:43,255 That you're my 860 00:59:43,355 --> 00:59:44,866 fucking lifeline, and he didn't tell me, 861 00:59:44,891 --> 00:59:46,860 and that fucking hurts. 862 00:59:46,994 --> 00:59:50,063 It fucking hurts, okay? 863 00:59:54,768 --> 00:59:56,369 I'm shit without you. 864 00:59:59,506 --> 01:00:03,643 -I'm just as good at dooming this relationship as you. 865 01:00:03,777 --> 01:00:05,445 Is it doomed? 866 01:00:05,579 --> 01:00:07,481 Is it? I feel like we can make this work. 867 01:00:09,216 --> 01:00:12,153 -You're trying, and I see that. But I. 868 01:00:12,253 --> 01:00:14,155 I can't keep doing this back and forth. 869 01:00:14,255 --> 01:00:16,992 It's... it's... it's not just with you. 870 01:00:17,091 --> 01:00:18,292 It's with me. 871 01:00:18,359 --> 01:00:20,328 -You can't just escape yourself 872 01:00:20,394 --> 01:00:22,296 by moving from one place to another, you know. 873 01:00:24,799 --> 01:00:26,267 You know that, right? 874 01:00:26,367 --> 01:00:31,074 -I need to figure things out. And. If you love me, 875 01:00:31,206 --> 01:00:33,308 if you really love me... - I do. I do. 876 01:00:33,442 --> 01:00:35,510 -Then I need you to promise not to follow me. 877 01:00:38,246 --> 01:00:39,648 - I can't do that. - Promise me. 878 01:00:39,781 --> 01:00:41,050 -I can't do that. 879 01:00:41,116 --> 01:00:43,151 We can make this work! - Promise not to follow me. 880 01:00:43,251 --> 01:00:44,553 Give me some time 881 01:00:44,653 --> 01:00:48,657 or we're gonna end up taking everyone down with us. 882 01:00:48,757 --> 01:00:49,859 -How long? 883 01:00:52,862 --> 01:00:54,964 How long, Tess? 884 01:00:55,032 --> 01:00:56,733 How long? 885 01:00:56,833 --> 01:00:58,068 -I don't know. 886 01:00:58,234 --> 01:00:59,335 I don't know. 887 01:01:01,537 --> 01:01:03,740 -Okay. Okay. 888 01:01:21,059 --> 01:01:22,426 -♪ I've been staring ♪ 889 01:01:22,459 --> 01:01:24,179 ♪ at the ceiling ♪ - I'm coming. I'm coming. 890 01:01:24,294 --> 01:01:26,897 So I'm glad this is the right place. 891 01:01:26,930 --> 01:01:27,731 -♪ Trying to figure out ♪ 892 01:01:27,831 --> 01:01:29,199 - Hi. 893 01:01:29,333 --> 01:01:31,468 -Oh. Hello. Hello. 894 01:01:31,502 --> 01:01:34,839 -♪ How we end up here time and time again ♪ 895 01:01:36,608 --> 01:01:38,276 ♪ swallowed up in doubt ♪ 896 01:01:41,346 --> 01:01:43,314 ♪ brother, I quit dreamin' ♪ 897 01:01:46,085 --> 01:01:48,286 ♪ around the time that you did ♪ 898 01:01:51,157 --> 01:01:52,924 ♪ and traded hopes of leaving ♪ 899 01:01:55,394 --> 01:01:58,230 ♪ for the role where I'm best suited ♪ 900 01:02:00,033 --> 01:02:01,400 Well, I don't agree... 901 01:02:20,353 --> 01:02:21,788 -♪ Do you hear me screamin' ♪ 902 01:02:23,590 --> 01:02:24,825 Welcome to the lookout. 903 01:02:24,858 --> 01:02:26,560 -♪ Up into the sky? ♪ 904 01:02:26,660 --> 01:02:27,737 - I'm so excited. - Thank you so much. 905 01:02:27,761 --> 01:02:29,262 - You're welcome. - Thank you so much. 906 01:02:29,362 --> 01:02:30,764 - The best. 907 01:02:30,797 --> 01:02:32,117 -♪ "What's the sense in grieving ♪ 908 01:02:34,334 --> 01:02:36,504 -♪ if nobody really dies? ♪ 909 01:02:38,873 --> 01:02:40,341 ♪ Oh, I feel the hours ♪ 910 01:02:40,374 --> 01:02:41,776 ♪ slipping ♪ 911 01:02:44,012 --> 01:02:46,581 ♪ while I stumble to the edge ♪ 912 01:02:49,717 --> 01:02:51,486 ♪ 'cause I seem to forget ♪ 913 01:02:51,586 --> 01:02:53,688 -I haven't actually read this before. 914 01:02:53,721 --> 01:02:55,623 -♪ When I get all worked up ♪ 915 01:02:58,761 --> 01:03:03,665 "He lived his life for himself and then it shifted." 916 01:03:03,699 --> 01:03:05,334 -♪ If you look close enough ♪ 917 01:03:05,467 --> 01:03:07,070 -"It became much more than waking up 918 01:03:07,170 --> 01:03:09,271 and going to sleep." 919 01:03:27,724 --> 01:03:30,060 -♪ 'Cause I seem to forget ♪ 920 01:03:31,628 --> 01:03:33,763 ♪ when I get all worked up ♪ 921 01:03:36,566 --> 01:03:37,534 ♪ that you can find ♪ 922 01:03:37,567 --> 01:03:38,935 ♪ every color ♪ 923 01:03:41,672 --> 01:03:43,641 ♪ if you look close enough ♪ 924 01:03:52,883 --> 01:03:54,986 -And you don't know what he's doing in town? 925 01:03:55,053 --> 01:03:56,053 -What? 926 01:03:56,154 --> 01:03:57,822 -You don't know why hardin's coming? 927 01:03:57,855 --> 01:03:59,690 -He did not say, but uh, 928 01:03:59,757 --> 01:04:01,726 I couldn't have him staying at a hotel. 929 01:04:01,793 --> 01:04:03,528 Especially with a minibar. Is that shitty? 930 01:04:03,595 --> 01:04:05,064 I know he's sober now. 931 01:04:05,131 --> 01:04:07,532 -No, no. No, I get it. 932 01:04:07,599 --> 01:04:09,768 And, you know, I mean, 933 01:04:09,868 --> 01:04:11,603 I'm working doubles this week anyway, 934 01:04:11,703 --> 01:04:14,639 so I won't even have to see him. 935 01:04:14,739 --> 01:04:18,510 -Nora said if, uh, it gets too weird, 936 01:04:18,577 --> 01:04:19,587 you can crash at her place. 937 01:04:19,611 --> 01:04:20,721 I mean it's just. Ei... either way, 938 01:04:20,745 --> 01:04:22,315 it was going to be shitty like... 939 01:04:22,380 --> 01:04:24,117 -Oh no, it's fine. I'll be fine. 940 01:04:24,218 --> 01:04:25,319 -You're doing the thing 941 01:04:25,451 --> 01:04:26,495 where you go, you go... - Oh, please. 942 01:04:26,519 --> 01:04:27,988 - "I'll be fine," and you look away. 943 01:04:28,088 --> 01:04:29,156 Honestly? 944 01:04:29,256 --> 01:04:30,257 -Yeah. 945 01:04:30,356 --> 01:04:31,433 - Wallet, keys, phone? - Yes. 946 01:04:31,457 --> 01:04:33,093 - Okay. - Okay. 947 01:04:33,227 --> 01:04:34,227 -Ciao. 948 01:04:44,004 --> 01:04:50,811 -Hey, so Landon just got here, and hardin is with him. 949 01:04:51,812 --> 01:04:53,947 They are asking for your section. 950 01:04:56,150 --> 01:04:58,552 -Uh. Yeah, of course. 951 01:04:58,652 --> 01:05:01,955 - You sure? - Yeah. I guess. 952 01:05:16,238 --> 01:05:17,739 -Tessa. 953 01:05:20,109 --> 01:05:21,943 Theresa? 954 01:05:22,011 --> 01:05:24,712 -Uh, yeah. 955 01:05:24,846 --> 01:05:27,683 I put my full name on the job application. 956 01:05:27,816 --> 01:05:29,685 -Uh, hardin wanted to eat here. 957 01:05:29,785 --> 01:05:31,388 That's. That's. 958 01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:33,056 -That's fine. 959 01:05:34,190 --> 01:05:35,091 Yeah, of course. 960 01:05:35,191 --> 01:05:36,226 Let me seat you guys. 961 01:05:36,326 --> 01:05:37,994 Yeah. 962 01:05:39,229 --> 01:05:40,030 Nice to see you. 963 01:05:40,196 --> 01:05:41,097 Nice to see you, too. 964 01:05:41,131 --> 01:05:42,131 Yup. 965 01:05:49,140 --> 01:05:50,807 Sorry. 966 01:05:56,780 --> 01:05:58,548 -So, you've been here since this morning. 967 01:05:58,682 --> 01:06:01,118 -Yeah, I'm working a double today. 968 01:06:01,252 --> 01:06:02,686 -When will you get off? 969 01:06:03,787 --> 01:06:09,193 -Uh, one, so I should be home around two. 970 01:06:09,327 --> 01:06:11,796 -Every single day. 971 01:06:12,930 --> 01:06:16,934 -And I'll try not to wake you, again. 972 01:06:18,437 --> 01:06:19,904 What can I get you guys? 973 01:06:27,645 --> 01:06:28,913 Good night. 974 01:06:34,820 --> 01:06:36,822 -I just wanted to make sure you got home okay. 975 01:06:38,024 --> 01:06:40,726 -You do know that I walk this every night, right? 976 01:06:46,531 --> 01:06:47,966 Since you're here. 977 01:06:53,706 --> 01:06:55,775 -So why are you working here anyway? 978 01:06:55,908 --> 01:06:58,479 Isn't Vance opening his new publishing house? 979 01:06:58,578 --> 01:07:01,714 -Uh, I just want to do something on my own. 980 01:07:03,283 --> 01:07:05,551 I like it. Nora's here. 981 01:07:05,685 --> 01:07:08,022 I make more money than you'd think. 982 01:07:08,122 --> 01:07:12,326 Uh, plus it keeps me busy while I'm waiting to get into nyu. 983 01:07:12,426 --> 01:07:14,695 -What? You haven't gotten in yet? 984 01:07:14,795 --> 01:07:18,832 -No, but I'm hoping for the spring semester. 985 01:07:21,469 --> 01:07:22,903 -Are you happy? 986 01:07:25,106 --> 01:07:26,573 -Yeah. 987 01:07:26,673 --> 01:07:27,975 -Are you seeing anyone? 988 01:07:28,909 --> 01:07:32,280 - Yes. I'm out every night 989 01:07:32,380 --> 01:07:35,316 being wined and dined. 990 01:07:35,417 --> 01:07:36,694 -I'm actually not dating anyone. 991 01:07:36,718 --> 01:07:38,653 I'm quite conservative in that way. 992 01:07:38,787 --> 01:07:40,122 - Hey, girlie. - Hey, watch it! 993 01:07:40,189 --> 01:07:41,189 -Hey! It's okay. 994 01:07:43,192 --> 01:07:44,326 Hey, Joe. 995 01:07:44,460 --> 01:07:47,163 Uh, I brought you some fries and the sliders that you love. 996 01:07:48,663 --> 01:07:49,999 I'll see you tomorrow. 997 01:07:54,803 --> 01:07:56,938 It makes me feel better about my dad. 998 01:08:01,344 --> 01:08:02,711 -Do you wanna.? 999 01:08:03,779 --> 01:08:05,482 Tomorrow, if you're not working, 1000 01:08:05,614 --> 01:08:07,950 I have some free time if you wanna.? 1001 01:08:10,786 --> 01:08:14,590 -I'm working a double. That I took 1002 01:08:14,690 --> 01:08:17,960 so I wouldn't have to see you. 1003 01:08:38,615 --> 01:08:39,917 Hey. 1004 01:08:39,984 --> 01:08:41,286 - Stop. - Hey, hey. 1005 01:08:41,353 --> 01:08:43,589 - Stop. Stop! Stop! - Hey, hardin. 1006 01:08:45,690 --> 01:08:47,959 -Hey, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. 1007 01:08:49,495 --> 01:08:50,496 It's okay. 1008 01:08:52,331 --> 01:08:53,999 Oh, fuck. 1009 01:09:06,079 --> 01:09:09,382 -♪ You like the rain 'coz it means we can stay in ♪ 1010 01:09:11,618 --> 01:09:14,987 ♪ canceled our plans but no I'm not complaining ♪ 1011 01:09:16,855 --> 01:09:19,025 ♪ pull the covers up like the tide ♪ 1012 01:09:19,058 --> 01:09:21,860 ♪ darling swim in my arms tonight ♪ 1013 01:09:21,894 --> 01:09:24,532 ♪ say to me looking dead in my eyes ♪ 1014 01:09:24,565 --> 01:09:26,333 ♪ how long can we keep this alive ♪ 1015 01:09:26,400 --> 01:09:27,867 Thank you. 1016 01:09:35,276 --> 01:09:37,144 I miss this. 1017 01:09:41,649 --> 01:09:43,917 -Me too. 1018 01:09:43,950 --> 01:09:45,353 - ♪ ♪ 1019 01:09:45,387 --> 01:09:46,787 ♪ want a love that will take ♪ 1020 01:09:46,820 --> 01:09:48,623 -♪ only everything ♪ 1021 01:09:48,657 --> 01:09:49,624 ♪ only ♪ 1022 01:09:49,658 --> 01:09:51,560 ♪ only ♪ 1023 01:09:51,593 --> 01:09:52,661 ♪ only ♪ 1024 01:09:52,726 --> 01:09:54,496 ♪ only everything ♪ 1025 01:09:54,529 --> 01:09:58,300 ♪ only only only ♪ 1026 01:09:58,333 --> 01:10:01,036 ♪ only everything ♪ 1027 01:10:01,069 --> 01:10:04,072 ♪ I love the way that your hands find my shoulders ♪ 1028 01:10:05,608 --> 01:10:07,876 ♪ when the weight of the world's weighing down ♪ 1029 01:10:07,909 --> 01:10:11,214 ♪ and we're all doomed ♪ 1030 01:10:11,247 --> 01:10:13,949 ♪ got me thinking about all the time ♪ 1031 01:10:13,982 --> 01:10:16,818 ♪ that we waste in the mornin' light ♪ 1032 01:10:16,851 --> 01:10:18,954 ♪ makes me not want to close my eyes ♪ 1033 01:10:18,987 --> 01:10:21,457 ♪ how long can we keep this alive ♪ 1034 01:10:21,557 --> 01:10:22,625 -Tessa. 1035 01:10:22,724 --> 01:10:23,892 I'm so sorry. I got lost. 1036 01:10:23,959 --> 01:10:26,028 I didn't know which turning it was. 1037 01:10:30,500 --> 01:10:34,104 -Hey! Hey, Joe. Here you go. 1038 01:10:39,309 --> 01:10:40,743 -Stay safe, man. 1039 01:10:43,480 --> 01:10:46,749 -♪ Only only only ♪ 1040 01:10:46,782 --> 01:10:48,785 ♪ only everything ♪ 1041 01:10:48,819 --> 01:10:52,423 ♪ only only only ♪ 1042 01:10:52,457 --> 01:10:54,125 ♪ only everything ♪ 1043 01:11:01,999 --> 01:11:03,867 -You seem different, like. 1044 01:11:05,002 --> 01:11:06,837 Like the same but just different. 1045 01:11:07,804 --> 01:11:11,677 I'm still me. 1046 01:11:11,744 --> 01:11:12,944 A fair bit of therapy, 1047 01:11:13,045 --> 01:11:15,014 and I'm hitting the gym more but I'm still me. 1048 01:11:19,018 --> 01:11:20,152 -Do you still drink? 1049 01:11:22,755 --> 01:11:24,315 -I do have the odd beer or glass of wine 1050 01:11:24,423 --> 01:11:26,492 but I am never chugging a bottle of whiskey again, 1051 01:11:26,592 --> 01:11:28,060 if that's what you mean. 1052 01:11:36,169 --> 01:11:37,803 - Mm. - Tess. 1053 01:11:42,509 --> 01:11:43,809 Well, how is it then? 1054 01:11:45,545 --> 01:11:46,812 -Mm. 1055 01:11:48,014 --> 01:11:49,014 Oi, Tess. 1056 01:11:49,082 --> 01:11:50,550 At least share it if you're gonna. 1057 01:12:09,470 --> 01:12:11,004 You know, if I wasn't such a gentleman, 1058 01:12:11,105 --> 01:12:12,872 I would have you on this counter right now. 1059 01:12:13,006 --> 01:12:15,077 -I thought you weren't a gentleman. 1060 01:12:17,878 --> 01:12:20,215 I'm half gentleman right now. 1061 01:12:21,849 --> 01:12:23,251 -A half? 1062 01:12:23,385 --> 01:12:24,385 -Uh-huh. 1063 01:12:28,256 --> 01:12:29,658 And that means. 1064 01:12:29,758 --> 01:12:31,226 As much as I want you. 1065 01:12:34,029 --> 01:12:35,263 I can't be with you. 1066 01:12:37,966 --> 01:12:40,103 Until you're really ready to be with me. 1067 01:12:43,606 --> 01:12:46,007 -Or. What? 1068 01:12:47,377 --> 01:12:48,417 Come on, grab some plates. 1069 01:12:48,511 --> 01:12:49,511 Let's eat. 1070 01:12:53,549 --> 01:12:56,552 -Tess, plates. Now, please. 1071 01:13:18,676 --> 01:13:20,078 -What? 1072 01:13:22,213 --> 01:13:23,681 -Nothing. 1073 01:13:28,986 --> 01:13:30,088 -Good morning. 1074 01:13:30,221 --> 01:13:32,223 - Good morning. - Good morning. 1075 01:13:39,230 --> 01:13:40,299 Bye. 1076 01:13:50,609 --> 01:13:51,943 Finally. 1077 01:13:53,179 --> 01:13:55,681 -And it feels good. 1078 01:13:56,849 --> 01:13:59,084 -I'm gonna go take a shower. 1079 01:14:00,553 --> 01:14:01,954 -Thank you, Tess. 1080 01:14:14,134 --> 01:14:15,802 Hey. - Hey. 1081 01:14:15,902 --> 01:14:16,770 -How's work? 1082 01:14:16,903 --> 01:14:17,903 -Good. 1083 01:14:19,906 --> 01:14:21,608 Long. 1084 01:14:22,910 --> 01:14:25,513 Is, um, is Landon home? 1085 01:14:25,613 --> 01:14:27,148 -Uh, he's staying at Nora's. 1086 01:14:30,485 --> 01:14:33,054 Are you going out? 1087 01:14:33,187 --> 01:14:34,187 -No. 1088 01:14:34,222 --> 01:14:35,422 Got an early meeting tomorrow. 1089 01:14:56,178 --> 01:14:57,379 -Give me your feet. 1090 01:15:32,016 --> 01:15:33,417 -Come sit in front of me. 1091 01:16:01,513 --> 01:16:02,513 That feels good. 1092 01:16:04,516 --> 01:16:06,451 -It would feel a lot better without this. 1093 01:16:07,819 --> 01:16:09,355 Just saying. 1094 01:16:28,107 --> 01:16:30,276 -This is your idea. 1095 01:16:30,343 --> 01:16:32,479 -I know. 1096 01:16:38,185 --> 01:16:39,653 -♪ Give me what I need ♪ 1097 01:16:39,686 --> 01:16:42,456 ♪ pull me in so deep ♪ 1098 01:16:42,489 --> 01:16:44,625 ♪ take me as I please ♪ - no teasing. 1099 01:16:44,658 --> 01:16:46,927 - ♪ I want you to want me ♪ - says the master of the art. 1100 01:16:46,960 --> 01:16:48,996 -♪ Sweep me off my feet ♪ 1101 01:16:49,030 --> 01:16:51,131 ♪ bring me to my knees ♪ 1102 01:16:51,164 --> 01:16:53,301 ♪ see you in your dreams ♪ 1103 01:16:53,334 --> 01:16:56,304 ♪ I want you to want me ♪ 1104 01:16:56,337 --> 01:17:00,308 -♪ I would fall from the sky cross my heart ♪ 1105 01:17:00,441 --> 01:17:01,275 ♪ and hope to die -i haven't been fucked 1106 01:17:01,376 --> 01:17:02,777 in five months, Theresa. 1107 01:17:02,877 --> 01:17:08,316 You are pushing every ounce of my self-control. 1108 01:17:08,349 --> 01:17:10,918 -♪ Just to be with you ♪ 1109 01:17:10,952 --> 01:17:13,388 ♪ look at what you made me do ♪ 1110 01:17:13,421 --> 01:17:15,391 ♪ I'll make you love me ♪ 1111 01:17:15,424 --> 01:17:17,259 ♪ I'll make you love me ♪ 1112 01:17:17,292 --> 01:17:19,528 ♪ I'll make you love me ♪ 1113 01:17:19,561 --> 01:17:22,297 ♪ look at what you made me do ♪ 1114 01:17:22,331 --> 01:17:24,134 ♪ I'll make you love me ♪ 1115 01:17:24,166 --> 01:17:26,301 ♪ I'll make you love me ♪ 1116 01:17:26,335 --> 01:17:28,170 ♪ I'll make you love me ♪ 1117 01:17:28,203 --> 01:17:31,340 ♪ look at what you made me do ♪ 1118 01:17:37,081 --> 01:17:39,549 ♪ Look at what you made me do ♪ 1119 01:17:43,154 --> 01:17:44,454 I have thought about this 1120 01:17:44,521 --> 01:17:50,560 every single second of every fucking day. 1121 01:17:52,395 --> 01:17:54,364 -You have no idea. 1122 01:17:54,397 --> 01:17:56,834 ♪ The devil made me do it ♪ 1123 01:17:56,867 --> 01:17:58,803 ♪ evil in the eyes ♪ 1124 01:17:58,836 --> 01:18:01,106 ♪ caught you by surprise ♪ - take your clothes off. 1125 01:18:01,139 --> 01:18:03,175 -♪ Pretty little lies ♪ 1126 01:18:03,207 --> 01:18:06,111 ♪ the devil made me do it ♪ 1127 01:18:06,144 --> 01:18:10,347 ♪ I would fall from the sky ♪ 1128 01:18:10,381 --> 01:18:12,616 ♪ cross my heart and hope to die ♪ 1129 01:18:14,652 --> 01:18:17,655 ♪ turn my back from heaven's eyes ♪ 1130 01:18:17,688 --> 01:18:20,592 ♪ just to be with you ♪ 1131 01:18:20,625 --> 01:18:23,228 ♪ look at what you made me do ♪ 1132 01:18:23,261 --> 01:18:25,263 ♪ I'll make you love me ♪ 1133 01:18:25,297 --> 01:18:27,365 ♪ I'll make you love me ♪ 1134 01:18:27,399 --> 01:18:29,334 ♪ I'll make you love me ♪ 1135 01:18:29,367 --> 01:18:32,071 ♪ look at what you made me do ♪ 1136 01:18:32,105 --> 01:18:33,972 ♪ I'll make you love me ♪ 1137 01:18:34,005 --> 01:18:36,075 ♪ I'll make you love me ♪ 1138 01:18:36,109 --> 01:18:37,843 ♪ I'll make you love me ♪ 1139 01:18:37,876 --> 01:18:40,646 ♪ look at what you made me do ♪ 1140 01:18:46,552 --> 01:18:49,622 ♪ Look at what you made me do ♪ 1141 01:18:55,628 --> 01:18:57,730 ♪ Look at what you made me do ♪ 1142 01:18:57,764 --> 01:18:59,599 ♪ careful what you wish for ♪ 1143 01:18:59,632 --> 01:19:02,070 ♪ shattered on the cold floor ♪ 1144 01:19:02,103 --> 01:19:04,271 ♪ million little pieces ♪ 1145 01:19:04,304 --> 01:19:06,473 - Please. - ♪ fall in love and make war ♪ 1146 01:19:06,507 --> 01:19:08,575 - I know. - ♪ careful what you wish for ♪ 1147 01:19:08,609 --> 01:19:10,811 - I know. - ♪ shattered on the cold floor ♪ 1148 01:19:10,844 --> 01:19:13,647 ♪ you know I did it all for. ♪ - I fucking love you. 1149 01:19:15,315 --> 01:19:18,352 -♪ Look at what you made me do ♪ 1150 01:19:25,927 --> 01:19:27,996 -So, by sleeping with me, I think you just agreed 1151 01:19:28,130 --> 01:19:29,131 to start seeing me again. 1152 01:19:29,198 --> 01:19:31,466 -Mm. Is that so? 1153 01:19:31,533 --> 01:19:32,600 -Mm-hm. 1154 01:19:34,170 --> 01:19:35,904 I love this. - What? 1155 01:19:36,004 --> 01:19:37,405 -This. Us. 1156 01:19:39,707 --> 01:19:41,743 You know we're always going to be like this, Tess. 1157 01:19:44,847 --> 01:19:46,749 -I really have to go to this meeting 1158 01:19:46,849 --> 01:19:49,085 so I will see you when I'm back. - Okay. 1159 01:19:50,920 --> 01:19:52,955 Okay. 1160 01:20:12,210 --> 01:20:14,178 It was the fall when he met her. 1161 01:20:14,212 --> 01:20:17,215 In his world, he was only concerned about one thing. 1162 01:20:17,248 --> 01:20:19,116 Himself. 1163 01:20:19,150 --> 01:20:20,951 He'd won every bet so far, 1164 01:20:20,984 --> 01:20:23,087 and this was supposed to be no different, 1165 01:20:23,120 --> 01:20:24,721 although in Tessa's nearness, 1166 01:20:24,754 --> 01:20:27,892 he felt an apprehension this time. 1167 01:20:27,925 --> 01:20:31,063 In a Darcy-inspired gesture, he funded her father's funeral. 1168 01:20:32,663 --> 01:20:34,903 It was only the beginning of what he felt he needed to do 1169 01:20:34,932 --> 01:20:37,568 to absolve himself. 1170 01:20:37,602 --> 01:20:39,971 His guilt led heavy in the call that he hadn't answered. 1171 01:20:42,341 --> 01:20:43,784 The only reason he didn't lose himself 1172 01:20:43,808 --> 01:20:44,909 again in darkness. 1173 01:20:44,942 --> 01:20:47,346 .Was in knowing her dad was happy. 1174 01:20:47,378 --> 01:20:49,082 His death was surely an accident. 1175 01:20:49,115 --> 01:20:51,583 It didn't bring him back, but his talk of his future 1176 01:20:51,617 --> 01:20:53,518 and appreciating the time off the street. 1177 01:20:54,686 --> 01:20:56,989 Though she was unable to bear children of her own, 1178 01:20:57,022 --> 01:20:59,458 she couldn't let go of the dream of them. 1179 01:20:59,491 --> 01:21:02,228 He knew that, and loved her even so. 1180 01:21:02,262 --> 01:21:03,929 He tried not to be selfish. 1181 01:21:03,962 --> 01:21:06,366 But he couldn't help thinking about the little versions of him 1182 01:21:06,398 --> 01:21:07,599 she couldn't give him. 1183 01:21:09,002 --> 01:21:11,771 He hopes she will understand just how broken he was 1184 01:21:11,804 --> 01:21:13,973 and see how much she affected his life. 1185 01:21:24,351 --> 01:21:25,618 -"She stumbled 1186 01:21:25,752 --> 01:21:28,088 "through the room the way that tasteless girls move 1187 01:21:28,188 --> 01:21:29,889 when they drink too much." 1188 01:21:29,956 --> 01:21:31,293 -Stop reading that. 1189 01:21:31,425 --> 01:21:34,129 -No, no, no, you don't get to write my story 1190 01:21:34,262 --> 01:21:35,729 and then tell me I can't read it. 1191 01:21:35,796 --> 01:21:36,931 -That part's not about you. 1192 01:21:36,997 --> 01:21:40,035 -How long have you been writing about us? 1193 01:21:44,972 --> 01:21:46,473 -After we kissed. 1194 01:21:46,573 --> 01:21:48,176 -You. Like the first time? 1195 01:21:51,645 --> 01:21:53,149 Are you fucking kidding me? 1196 01:21:54,883 --> 01:21:56,017 You're just. 1197 01:21:57,519 --> 01:21:58,553 Tess, I'll explain 1198 01:21:58,687 --> 01:21:59,730 if you'll just listen. - Oh, no. 1199 01:21:59,754 --> 01:22:02,291 You already have, on every page. 1200 01:22:02,425 --> 01:22:04,025 - This is what I did to vent. - Great. 1201 01:22:04,093 --> 01:22:05,094 -Where are you going? 1202 01:22:05,194 --> 01:22:06,828 - I. - Tess! 1203 01:22:06,928 --> 01:22:09,698 -I'm done. This. We're just a bomb waiting to explode. 1204 01:22:09,764 --> 01:22:11,310 This was a wake-up call. - What do you mean? 1205 01:22:11,334 --> 01:22:12,476 You're acting like I wrote that 1206 01:22:12,500 --> 01:22:13,612 to purposely hurt you. - How... 1207 01:22:13,636 --> 01:22:15,138 How did you think I was gonna feel? 1208 01:22:15,272 --> 01:22:16,772 -It was not all about you. 1209 01:22:16,839 --> 01:22:19,742 -You would never let me read what you were writing in there. 1210 01:22:19,809 --> 01:22:21,278 And now the whole world gets to. 1211 01:22:21,345 --> 01:22:23,080 Stuff about me. 1212 01:22:23,180 --> 01:22:24,613 Stuff about my dad. 1213 01:22:25,648 --> 01:22:28,651 -I'm sorry. I never meant for it to be published. 1214 01:22:28,718 --> 01:22:31,188 I started that journal to figure the shit out in my head. 1215 01:22:31,254 --> 01:22:33,689 They asked me to read it in group therapy, so I did. 1216 01:22:33,756 --> 01:22:36,427 And one thing just led to another. 1217 01:22:36,560 --> 01:22:39,364 -You accidentally wrote a book. 1218 01:22:39,430 --> 01:22:41,099 -I. 1219 01:22:41,165 --> 01:22:43,500 I didn't mean for this to happen this way. 1220 01:22:45,602 --> 01:22:49,240 -No one wants to read this sick shit. 1221 01:22:49,307 --> 01:22:50,941 I thought that too. 1222 01:22:51,075 --> 01:22:54,245 But there's a bidding war for my book. 1223 01:22:56,181 --> 01:22:57,648 And that's why I'm in town. 1224 01:23:00,818 --> 01:23:02,121 -You accidentally wrote a book 1225 01:23:02,187 --> 01:23:04,889 and then you shopped it around to publishers 1226 01:23:05,023 --> 01:23:07,025 without asking me? 1227 01:23:07,159 --> 01:23:09,495 -Fuck, this never should have happened like this. 1228 01:23:09,560 --> 01:23:11,562 -No, no. It shouldn't have. 1229 01:23:11,662 --> 01:23:13,965 -Tess, I hated myself. 1230 01:23:14,066 --> 01:23:16,734 I had to deal with that every fucking day. 1231 01:23:16,801 --> 01:23:19,638 What is the point in everything we've been through if we can't 1232 01:23:19,772 --> 01:23:21,940 channel that into something that helps people? 1233 01:23:22,007 --> 01:23:25,010 -I don't want people reading about my life and judging me. 1234 01:23:25,111 --> 01:23:27,347 -It's not your life, Tess. It's our lives, 1235 01:23:27,447 --> 01:23:29,149 and it's a story about forgiveness 1236 01:23:29,282 --> 01:23:31,317 and unconditional love. 1237 01:23:32,985 --> 01:23:35,754 It doesn't matter about parents or addiction 1238 01:23:35,888 --> 01:23:38,690 or whatever fucked up past. It's never too late. 1239 01:23:38,825 --> 01:23:40,361 People can always change. 1240 01:23:40,428 --> 01:23:42,695 That is the kind of story "after" is. 1241 01:23:44,365 --> 01:23:45,698 - "After"? 1242 01:23:46,733 --> 01:23:49,070 -It's my journey after I met you. 1243 01:23:50,937 --> 01:23:52,705 -I think that journey is over. 1244 01:24:16,331 --> 01:24:18,467 -♪ Coming from the cold ♪ 1245 01:24:18,500 --> 01:24:20,535 ♪ buried under heat ♪ 1246 01:24:20,569 --> 01:24:22,472 ♪ lay you on the floor ♪ 1247 01:24:22,505 --> 01:24:24,840 ♪ heavy like the force ♪ 1248 01:24:24,873 --> 01:24:26,675 ♪ between us ♪ 1249 01:24:33,982 --> 01:24:35,750 -♪ Cut me like a Rose ♪ 1250 01:24:35,784 --> 01:24:37,853 ♪ turn me like a beast ♪ - good. 1251 01:24:37,886 --> 01:24:39,988 -♪ Hold me on the floor ♪ 1252 01:24:40,021 --> 01:24:42,291 ♪ heavy like the force ♪ 1253 01:24:42,325 --> 01:24:43,025 ♪ between us ♪ 1254 01:24:43,160 --> 01:24:45,395 Yes. 1255 01:24:45,462 --> 01:24:46,822 -I didn't think I'd ever come here. 1256 01:24:48,565 --> 01:24:51,268 I really thought that I had hit rock bottom 1257 01:24:51,401 --> 01:24:53,736 and then I'd hit it again harder and again and again, 1258 01:24:53,870 --> 01:24:56,206 and I burnt down a fucking house. 1259 01:24:59,008 --> 01:25:01,978 And, uh, I guess... I guess what I'm trying to say is 1260 01:25:02,045 --> 01:25:03,147 thank you all. 1261 01:25:04,549 --> 01:25:06,984 Because when I walked in that door, 1262 01:25:07,118 --> 01:25:08,852 I. I didn't know how this would go. 1263 01:25:08,986 --> 01:25:10,131 I didn't think it would work for me. 1264 01:25:10,155 --> 01:25:11,322 I never open up. 1265 01:25:11,456 --> 01:25:14,691 And somehow, you guys have found a way to make me, 1266 01:25:14,825 --> 01:25:17,027 and I'm grateful. 1267 01:25:17,162 --> 01:25:19,230 I mean this... This really helped a lot. 1268 01:25:19,297 --> 01:25:21,332 I'd recommend it to anyone. 1269 01:25:21,399 --> 01:25:25,803 I feel like I'm actually a better version of myself 1270 01:25:25,937 --> 01:25:31,277 and I haven't tried to better myself ever, really. 1271 01:25:33,778 --> 01:25:35,281 So thank you. 1272 01:25:36,681 --> 01:25:40,186 -♪ I was only falling in love ♪ 1273 01:25:45,591 --> 01:25:47,893 ♪ I was only falling in love ♪ 1274 01:25:47,927 --> 01:25:50,029 ♪ coming from the cold ♪ 1275 01:25:50,063 --> 01:25:52,031 ♪ buried under heat ♪ 1276 01:25:52,065 --> 01:25:54,100 ♪ lay you on the floor ♪ 1277 01:25:54,134 --> 01:25:58,205 ♪ heavy like the force between us ♪ 1278 01:26:04,944 --> 01:26:07,012 ♪ Cut me like a Rose ♪ 1279 01:26:07,047 --> 01:26:09,150 ♪ turn me like a beast ♪ 1280 01:26:09,183 --> 01:26:11,185 ♪ hold you to the floor ♪ 1281 01:26:11,219 --> 01:26:14,854 ♪ heavy like the force between us ♪ 1282 01:26:20,394 --> 01:26:24,265 It's been so nice having you back in London. 1283 01:26:24,398 --> 01:26:25,600 Mm. 1284 01:26:25,666 --> 01:26:27,368 I have something for you. 1285 01:26:30,439 --> 01:26:32,541 Look at this. 1286 01:26:33,774 --> 01:26:36,278 Your name. 1287 01:26:36,411 --> 01:26:38,480 I'm so proud of you. 1288 01:26:47,822 --> 01:26:48,889 I'm so sorry. 1289 01:26:49,091 --> 01:26:52,295 -Mum, it's fine. I've been going through so much. 1290 01:26:52,328 --> 01:26:53,996 -No, but. 1291 01:26:54,063 --> 01:26:56,199 I didn't know what to do. 1292 01:26:56,266 --> 01:26:57,899 I was young, I was. 1293 01:26:59,868 --> 01:27:01,504 In love and I was terrified. 1294 01:27:03,005 --> 01:27:04,707 None of that excuses the fact 1295 01:27:04,773 --> 01:27:07,143 that I hid the truth from you for so long. 1296 01:27:07,277 --> 01:27:08,277 But. 1297 01:27:10,747 --> 01:27:13,217 Everything I did, every decision I made, 1298 01:27:13,284 --> 01:27:16,287 no matter how regrettable looking back, it was. 1299 01:27:18,921 --> 01:27:20,957 It was done out of love for you. 1300 01:27:23,394 --> 01:27:24,395 -I know it was, mum. 1301 01:27:25,663 --> 01:27:27,231 And thank you for saying that. 1302 01:27:31,068 --> 01:27:32,202 It's good, all right? 1303 01:27:32,269 --> 01:27:33,936 -This is amazing. 1304 01:27:36,541 --> 01:27:38,710 Checkout took forever. 1305 01:27:38,777 --> 01:27:42,414 Yes. Yes. No, I'm on my way back now. 1306 01:27:56,329 --> 01:27:59,498 Sorry, yeah. 1307 01:27:59,565 --> 01:28:00,965 Yeah, I'll see you soon. 1308 01:28:04,869 --> 01:28:08,641 Hi. Look at you, so official. 1309 01:28:08,741 --> 01:28:13,579 -Hi. You have to tell me everything. 1310 01:28:13,679 --> 01:28:14,979 -Hasn't been that long. 1311 01:28:17,751 --> 01:28:18,827 -I think it's just since Landon 1312 01:28:18,851 --> 01:28:22,122 basically moved in with Nora that. 1313 01:28:22,189 --> 01:28:23,790 -You're starved for attention. 1314 01:28:23,889 --> 01:28:25,525 -Mm. I thought it would be easier 1315 01:28:25,659 --> 01:28:27,993 making friends at school. 1316 01:28:28,128 --> 01:28:31,398 -Yeah. The campus is pretty spread out, huh? 1317 01:28:31,498 --> 01:28:33,109 -Yeah. And it's just by the time you figure out 1318 01:28:33,133 --> 01:28:34,453 where to meet and how to get there 1319 01:28:34,568 --> 01:28:35,769 on the subway and the buses, 1320 01:28:35,901 --> 01:28:37,771 it's like an hour to do anything. 1321 01:28:37,870 --> 01:28:39,107 -Welcome to New York. 1322 01:28:39,207 --> 01:28:41,975 - So I hope you like chicken Alfredo. 1323 01:28:43,845 --> 01:28:44,846 - Er. - What? 1324 01:28:44,945 --> 01:28:46,123 -I should've mentioned this. I'm... 1325 01:28:46,147 --> 01:28:47,624 I'm actually doing the plant-based thing. 1326 01:28:47,648 --> 01:28:48,792 -I don't know why I didn't ask. 1327 01:28:48,816 --> 01:28:49,816 I should have just asked. 1328 01:28:49,883 --> 01:28:50,893 -No, no. You know, let's improvise. 1329 01:28:50,917 --> 01:28:52,018 You got any red sauce? 1330 01:28:56,724 --> 01:28:58,259 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - No, no, no. 1331 01:28:58,359 --> 01:29:00,027 Tessa. Tess. Hey. - I'm sorry. 1332 01:29:01,730 --> 01:29:03,365 -Don't worry about it. 1333 01:29:03,432 --> 01:29:04,500 I'll order somethin' in. 1334 01:29:04,566 --> 01:29:07,736 Mm. 1335 01:29:07,836 --> 01:29:08,871 -You wanna try? 1336 01:29:08,970 --> 01:29:10,372 -What is it? 1337 01:29:10,506 --> 01:29:11,939 -Tofu curry dumpling. 1338 01:29:12,039 --> 01:29:13,308 Is it spicy? 1339 01:29:13,409 --> 01:29:14,743 -Not... not. Just try it. 1340 01:29:14,843 --> 01:29:15,977 -Okay. 1341 01:29:21,950 --> 01:29:23,051 - Yeah? - Mm. 1342 01:29:24,621 --> 01:29:26,723 It's not... it's not bad. 1343 01:29:26,823 --> 01:29:27,590 -But.? 1344 01:29:27,724 --> 01:29:28,924 - It's not good. 1345 01:29:29,024 --> 01:29:30,794 Oh, come on. 1346 01:29:30,894 --> 01:29:32,662 So one of my classmates invited us 1347 01:29:32,729 --> 01:29:34,798 to his girlfriend's gallery opening 1348 01:29:34,864 --> 01:29:36,499 in the village tonight. - Mm-hm. 1349 01:29:36,566 --> 01:29:38,735 -Do you wanna go? 1350 01:29:38,868 --> 01:29:43,140 -Um, yeah. I mean, I'd love to but. 1351 01:29:43,240 --> 01:29:45,109 I've actually got this thing tonight. 1352 01:29:45,209 --> 01:29:46,510 Can we do it another time? 1353 01:29:46,610 --> 01:29:49,413 -Yeah. Of course. 1354 01:29:49,480 --> 01:29:51,415 -Okay. 1355 01:29:55,319 --> 01:29:58,122 So after she kicked me out, 1356 01:29:58,222 --> 01:29:59,824 I really felt that my entire world 1357 01:29:59,924 --> 01:30:01,991 was just crumbling around me. 1358 01:30:02,059 --> 01:30:03,461 I was afraid I was going to spiral. 1359 01:30:04,962 --> 01:30:06,631 I really had nothing going for me. 1360 01:30:08,700 --> 01:30:09,700 But then I got the call. 1361 01:30:11,303 --> 01:30:15,240 Dowless and sons wanted the book to release immediately. 1362 01:30:15,373 --> 01:30:18,944 So, I picked up the phone and I called. 1363 01:30:19,043 --> 01:30:20,212 I called my therapist. 1364 01:30:23,047 --> 01:30:24,115 And I took a breath. 1365 01:30:26,219 --> 01:30:27,620 And I took the deal. 1366 01:30:29,355 --> 01:30:30,490 And here we are. 1367 01:30:47,908 --> 01:30:50,244 Anyway, I'll, uh, I'll stop blithering on, 1368 01:30:50,344 --> 01:30:52,246 and I'll actually read something. 1369 01:31:03,490 --> 01:31:07,427 -♪ Now all I have is broken pieces ♪ 1370 01:31:10,665 --> 01:31:14,168 ♪ I searched through fine and solid feelings ♪ 1371 01:31:15,603 --> 01:31:18,573 ♪ and I remember the way we were ♪ 1372 01:31:18,606 --> 01:31:22,343 ♪ and how it hurts now you're gone ♪ 1373 01:31:22,377 --> 01:31:25,246 ♪ and I'm wounded ♪ 1374 01:31:26,281 --> 01:31:28,316 ♪ but who's the victim ♪ 1375 01:31:29,752 --> 01:31:33,289 ♪ here comes the violence in my heart ♪ 1376 01:31:33,322 --> 01:31:36,625 ♪ all of the sirens and alarms ♪ 1377 01:31:36,659 --> 01:31:40,563 ♪ like I was designed for your arms ♪ 1378 01:31:40,596 --> 01:31:43,599 ♪ so who am I when you're gone? ♪ 1379 01:31:44,833 --> 01:31:48,170 ♪ Who who. ♪ 1380 01:31:48,203 --> 01:31:51,274 ♪ Who am I when you're gone? ♪ 1381 01:31:51,308 --> 01:31:55,178 ♪ Who who. ♪ 1382 01:31:55,211 --> 01:31:57,647 ♪ Who am I when you're gone? ♪ 1383 01:31:59,449 --> 01:32:03,253 ♪ I still eat takeout with all of your friends ♪ 1384 01:32:05,855 --> 01:32:10,360 ♪ I see your face in the awkward silence ♪ 1385 01:32:13,297 --> 01:32:16,334 ♪ I feel your breath on my neck ♪ 1386 01:32:16,367 --> 01:32:18,436 ♪ when I breathe ♪ 1387 01:32:20,237 --> 01:32:23,341 ♪ shot in hell think it's real ♪ 1388 01:32:23,374 --> 01:32:25,543 ♪ then I blink ♪ 1389 01:32:25,576 --> 01:32:29,180 ♪ here comes the violence in my heart ♪ 1390 01:32:29,213 --> 01:32:32,450 ♪ all of the sirens and alarms ♪ 1391 01:32:32,483 --> 01:32:36,455 ♪ like I was designed for your arms ♪ 1392 01:32:36,488 --> 01:32:40,258 ♪ so who am I when you're gone? ♪ 1393 01:32:40,292 --> 01:32:43,729 ♪ Who who. ♪ 1394 01:32:43,762 --> 01:32:47,165 ♪ Who am I when you're gone? ♪ 1395 01:32:47,199 --> 01:32:49,701 ♪ Who who. ♪ 1396 01:32:54,339 --> 01:32:57,744 ♪ Who who. ♪ 1397 01:32:57,777 --> 01:33:01,180 ♪ Who am I when you're gone? ♪ 1398 01:33:01,214 --> 01:33:03,716 ♪ Who who. ♪ 1399 01:33:07,654 --> 01:33:11,357 ♪ Is it just you or both of us ♪ 1400 01:33:11,391 --> 01:33:14,727 ♪ is it heartfelt or dangerous ♪ 1401 01:33:14,761 --> 01:33:18,599 ♪ is it selfless or self sabotage ♪ 1402 01:33:18,632 --> 01:33:21,568 ♪ who am I when you're gone? ♪ 1403 01:33:21,602 --> 01:33:25,205 ♪ Come and help us to get closer ♪ 1404 01:33:25,239 --> 01:33:28,442 ♪ are we twisted or beautiful ♪ 1405 01:33:28,475 --> 01:33:30,277 ♪ is this the ending ♪ 1406 01:33:30,310 --> 01:33:33,747 ♪ or is our chapter still alive ♪ 1407 01:33:35,549 --> 01:33:38,753 ♪ was it just you or both of us ♪ 1408 01:33:38,787 --> 01:33:42,424 ♪ was it heartfelt or dangerous ♪ 1409 01:33:42,457 --> 01:33:46,528 ♪ is it selfless or self sabotage ♪ 1410 01:33:46,561 --> 01:33:49,464 ♪ who am I when you're gone? ♪ 1411 01:33:49,497 --> 01:33:54,436 ♪ Is it selfless or self sabotage ♪ 100440