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1
00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:11,789
- They're for you.
- What am I gonna do with 'em?
2
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:14,375
We thought you'd like to wear one today.
3
00:01:14,458 --> 00:01:16,710
(laughter)
4
00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:21,090
- (yells)
- Oh, shit!
5
00:01:39,817 --> 00:01:43,362
OK, here comes your night to remember!
6
00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:54,164
Here she comes.
7
00:01:55,499 --> 00:01:58,752
She's almost got it. She's almost got it!
8
00:01:59,837 --> 00:02:00,879
She's got it!
9
00:02:02,464 --> 00:02:04,967
Come on, shit for brains!
10
00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:06,695
- What do you mean, break Pee Wee's cherry?
- If you're not cherry, you don't get Wendy.
11
00:03:06,779 --> 00:03:12,034
I'm cherry. You could put me on
top of a banana split, I'm so cherry.
12
00:03:12,117 --> 00:03:14,119
(yells)
13
00:03:22,044 --> 00:03:23,587
(Tarzan call)
14
00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:43,774
- (woman) Make it mine. Make it mine.
- (alarm buzzes)
15
00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:45,943
Please make it mine.
16
00:04:00,582 --> 00:04:02,668
I got laid!
17
00:04:05,004 --> 00:04:07,423
I got laid. I tore her up.
18
00:04:08,340 --> 00:04:10,175
(chuckles)
19
00:04:10,259 --> 00:04:12,344
She's ruined.
20
00:04:13,762 --> 00:04:16,265
She's ruined.
21
00:04:30,946 --> 00:04:33,032
Where's stiffy? Stiffy!
22
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:36,535
Hm.
23
00:04:36,618 --> 00:04:40,414
Maybe it doesn't work
for a couple of days after you get laid.
24
00:04:41,332 --> 00:04:43,709
Up, you big husky! Up! Up!
25
00:04:46,045 --> 00:04:48,130
Shit.
26
00:04:49,298 --> 00:04:52,551
Marilyn Monroe. Marilyn Monroe.
Marilyn Monroe.
27
00:04:55,012 --> 00:04:58,265
Jayne Mansfield. Jayne Mansfield.
Jayne Mansfield.
28
00:05:00,559 --> 00:05:02,645
Shit!
29
00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:28,003
(Tarzan call)
30
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:42,393
Got a bad rash, Mom.
31
00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,937
Ooh, it hurts like heck.
32
00:05:46,397 --> 00:05:48,482
I don't think I'll ask.
33
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,750
(honks horn)
34
00:06:19,096 --> 00:06:21,682
- Hey, Casanova!
- Hey, stud, how does it feel?
35
00:06:21,765 --> 00:06:24,226
Listen, about this Shakespeare crap.
36
00:06:24,310 --> 00:06:26,395
- (both) Shakespeare crap?
- Stop!
37
00:06:27,479 --> 00:06:32,067
- You're getting me in trouble with Mom.
- It's not my fault she's a drama teacher.
38
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:36,613
Just because you don't mind looking like
a jerk, Mom thinks I shouldn't mind either.
39
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:40,367
- Shakespeare's good for you.
- Shakespeare's ass sucks canal water.
40
00:06:40,451 --> 00:06:43,162
His ass sucks canal water.
That's very profound.
41
00:06:43,245 --> 00:06:46,123
- He has a keen analytical mind.
- And a way with words.
42
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:50,002
Hey, Pee Wee. How's it feel? Getting laid.
43
00:06:50,085 --> 00:06:53,797
- Same as it always feels.
- Oh, I don't believe it.
44
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:56,967
What do you mean?
I got bodies laid all over South Florida.
45
00:06:57,051 --> 00:07:00,137
Morris, the last time you got
any action was with your fist.
46
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:03,599
You guys are jealous because
I ruined Wendy for everybody else.
47
00:07:03,682 --> 00:07:07,061
- Oh, no!
- Now that she's had me, what's left?
48
00:07:07,144 --> 00:07:09,688
Yeah, well, that's not what she told me.
49
00:07:10,439 --> 00:07:13,984
- What did she tell you?
- Ask her, Pee Wee. Here she comes.
50
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:17,529
Yeah, I can hear her pantin' from here.
51
00:07:17,613 --> 00:07:22,159
(Pee Wee) When they've been had by Pee Wee
Morris, they can't keep their hands off me.
52
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:26,121
And watch out, cos when she sees me
you might get caught in the stampede.
53
00:07:26,205 --> 00:07:27,289
Watch this.
54
00:07:27,373 --> 00:07:29,541
Hi, boys.
55
00:07:29,625 --> 00:07:30,918
(laughter)
56
00:07:31,001 --> 00:07:33,170
- She's in a frenzy.
- She's rabid.
57
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:36,966
- She didn't know I was here.
- That's what she said about you last night.
58
00:07:37,049 --> 00:07:39,009
Oh, man. The girl's my slave.
59
00:07:39,093 --> 00:07:41,178
Wendy!
60
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:43,806
Hey, Wendy!
61
00:07:43,889 --> 00:07:47,893
- Hey, baby. How's tricks?
- You talkin' to me?
62
00:07:47,977 --> 00:07:50,688
Well, yeah. I'm talkin' to you.
How you feelin'?
63
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:54,858
To tell you the truth, I'm a little horny.
I haven't had too much action lately.
64
00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:56,568
Is that so?
65
00:07:56,652 --> 00:08:01,198
In fact, if I don't get next to a man soon,
I'm gonna be in real trouble.
66
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:04,493
- (laughter)
- You guys are as funny as a rubber crutch.
67
00:08:04,994 --> 00:08:08,664
- Thanks a lot, kid.
- Oh, Pee Wee, come on. It's just a little joke.
68
00:08:08,747 --> 00:08:12,001
They made me do it.
They said they'd never let me see you again.
69
00:08:12,084 --> 00:08:15,421
If that happened,
I'd just have to go into a convent.
70
00:08:15,504 --> 00:08:20,092
I mean, after you, where's a girl to go?
It's all downhill from here.
71
00:08:20,175 --> 00:08:24,138
- That's what I was tryin' to tell 'em.
- Well, you were right.
72
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:28,100
- When?
- How about lunchtime?
73
00:08:28,183 --> 00:08:30,311
- OK.
- Gotta go. See you later.
74
00:08:30,394 --> 00:08:32,479
Bye.
75
00:08:36,150 --> 00:08:39,403
Look closer. That is the world's
record shit-eatin' grin.
76
00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:42,448
- I don't know how you do it, Pee Wee.
- I'm an artist.
77
00:08:42,531 --> 00:08:47,119
Michelangelo worked in stone.
Van Gogh worked in oil. I work in pussy.
78
00:08:48,954 --> 00:08:52,082
- He works in pussy.
- At least he's consistent.
79
00:08:52,166 --> 00:08:54,960
- Let's get him.
- I think he needs some more.
80
00:08:55,753 --> 00:08:57,796
I think he does.
81
00:08:58,047 --> 00:09:00,132
Hey, Pee Wee!
82
00:09:00,883 --> 00:09:04,803
If you got all this pussy lyin' around,
you should share with your buddies.
83
00:09:04,887 --> 00:09:08,015
- We share with you.
- Oh, yeah. Like Cherry Forever.
84
00:09:08,098 --> 00:09:11,018
A mere dalliance, my boy. A life experience.
85
00:09:11,101 --> 00:09:13,771
We should all learn to run
from guys with machetes.
86
00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:15,731
As early in life as possible.
87
00:09:15,814 --> 00:09:18,942
I think you should fix us up
with some of your stuff.
88
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:22,154
- Sure, I'll fix you up.
- Yeah? When?
89
00:09:22,237 --> 00:09:24,823
- Well, hell, any time.
- How about tomorrow night?
90
00:09:24,907 --> 00:09:30,079
Tomorrow night? It might take me a couple
of days to line up some first-class stuff.
91
00:09:30,162 --> 00:09:33,624
I gotta talk 'em into goin' for
other guys. They're pretty loyal.
92
00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:36,960
- Oh, yeah. I can imagine.
- Of course they would be.
93
00:09:39,588 --> 00:09:41,674
Shit.
94
00:09:50,307 --> 00:09:52,393
Hi.
95
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:55,187
- You still suspended?
- Three more days.
96
00:09:55,270 --> 00:09:57,064
Shit.
97
00:09:57,147 --> 00:09:58,816
(whistle)
98
00:10:05,155 --> 00:10:07,241
You're right. 5.10 on the nose.
99
00:10:07,324 --> 00:10:10,536
I told you.
She goes to the bathroom 5.10 every day.
100
00:10:10,619 --> 00:10:14,289
- Every day?
- Every day. 5.10 every day.
101
00:10:14,456 --> 00:10:16,625
You can set your watch by it.
102
00:10:16,709 --> 00:10:19,878
- She's German, you know.
- Very interesting.
103
00:10:19,962 --> 00:10:24,591
Yeah? What's so interesting about when
Miss Balbricker goes to the bathroom?
104
00:10:24,675 --> 00:10:27,761
A little experiment I got for zoology class.
105
00:10:27,845 --> 00:10:29,930
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
106
00:10:39,231 --> 00:10:42,359
- Hey, Stemrick!
- What do you want, Pee Wee?
107
00:10:42,443 --> 00:10:45,904
- You get a lot of action, just like me.
- Yeah, I get my share.
108
00:10:45,988 --> 00:10:50,159
I promised to set Turner and some
of the guys up with some pussy.
109
00:10:50,242 --> 00:10:52,328
I don't wanna give 'em my choice stuff.
110
00:10:52,411 --> 00:10:55,831
- They're pretty inexperienced.
- Yeah, you don't wanna do that.
111
00:10:55,914 --> 00:10:58,834
So I wondered if you knew
a broad that's a real pushover.
112
00:10:58,917 --> 00:11:01,545
Somebody a real idiot could score with.
113
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:04,256
Hell, man. That's easy. Wendy Williams.
114
00:11:07,635 --> 00:11:10,095
- Hey, Stemrick.
- Yeah?
115
00:11:10,179 --> 00:11:12,848
Your sister sucks rhinoceros dicks.
116
00:11:16,352 --> 00:11:18,437
I wonder what he meant by that?
117
00:11:19,355 --> 00:11:23,859
- (purring)
- Hold the splits, girls.
118
00:11:23,942 --> 00:11:26,945
Let's get ready
for the tongue exercise. Ready?
119
00:11:27,029 --> 00:11:30,574
All right. Up! Out! Right! Left! Down!
120
00:11:30,658 --> 00:11:32,910
Up! Out! Right! Left! Down!
121
00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:35,621
Hey, what the hell
did Pee Wee do to Stemrick?
122
00:11:35,704 --> 00:11:38,332
He's pissed as shit and lookin' for Pee Wee.
123
00:11:38,415 --> 00:11:42,920
I think he asked Big John if he could
fix us up with his sister for a gang-bang.
124
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:47,800
Could be. He's desperate enough. Boys,
I think we got his ass in a sling this time.
125
00:11:47,883 --> 00:11:49,969
Yeah, well. Serves him right.
126
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,515
- Hey, uh... Hey, Billy?
- Huh?
127
00:11:54,598 --> 00:11:58,811
- What kinda role you playin'?
- I'm playin' a couple of roles, actually.
128
00:11:58,894 --> 00:12:01,939
I'm doin' different scenes
from different plays.
129
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:05,067
- What roles?
- Macbeth.
130
00:12:05,150 --> 00:12:07,778
- I heard of that.
- Yeah.
131
00:12:09,530 --> 00:12:11,615
What's the other role?
132
00:12:12,992 --> 00:12:16,996
- Oberon.
- Oberon? Who's he?
133
00:12:18,789 --> 00:12:21,542
He's sort of like a... forest ranger.
134
00:12:22,793 --> 00:12:25,462
A forest ranger? In Shakespeare?
135
00:12:25,546 --> 00:12:29,758
Yeah. He looks after the woods. You know.
136
00:12:29,842 --> 00:12:33,554
- Looks after the woods?
- Yes. He runs around in the woods a lot.
137
00:12:34,805 --> 00:12:38,142
- He sounds like a fairy to me.
- He's not just a fairy.
138
00:12:39,476 --> 00:12:42,104
He's the king of the fairies.
139
00:12:42,187 --> 00:12:45,691
Oh, you mean like a really big fairy.
140
00:12:46,567 --> 00:12:49,236
You guys are really funny.
141
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,030
Hysterical.
142
00:12:51,113 --> 00:12:54,408
Come on, guys. Let's get serious.
This is art here.
143
00:12:54,491 --> 00:12:57,911
- I think it's really admirable, Billy.
- I bet you do.
144
00:13:00,331 --> 00:13:02,916
So.
145
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,544
So you're playin' a big fairy?
146
00:13:05,627 --> 00:13:07,713
Yeah.
147
00:13:07,796 --> 00:13:09,882
Well, that's good casting.
148
00:13:11,508 --> 00:13:13,594
Hey, Turner, suck my wand!
149
00:13:23,437 --> 00:13:26,440
- (whispers) Frank.
- What's up, Pee Wee?
150
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:33,072
You wanna get back at Turner
for that Cherry Forever gag?
151
00:13:33,155 --> 00:13:35,699
- You know I would. Why?
- I'll tell ya later.
152
00:13:35,783 --> 00:13:39,370
We gotta find a broad who
they'll believe is ready for a gang-bang.
153
00:13:39,453 --> 00:13:42,790
Someone who's like a door knob?
Everybody takes a turn?
154
00:13:42,873 --> 00:13:46,251
- It's easy. Wendy Williams.
- Never mind her. Somebody else.
155
00:13:46,335 --> 00:13:50,714
- Somebody that they don't know.
- All right. Let me see.
156
00:13:51,215 --> 00:13:55,761
This girl in the band, Big Edna, is supposed
to be hot. I heard, mind you. I wasn't there.
157
00:13:55,844 --> 00:13:59,765
I heard she was about to take on 20 guys
on the way home from the Daytona trip.
158
00:13:59,848 --> 00:14:02,935
Some of the fruitcakes in the band
didn't know what to do.
159
00:14:03,268 --> 00:14:06,647
- It figures. Big Edna.
- I mean big. Six foot.
160
00:14:06,730 --> 00:14:09,858
Listen, Pee Wee.
Take this over to that lab monitor for me.
161
00:14:09,942 --> 00:14:12,027
- Oh, yeah. Sure.
- Thanks.
162
00:14:19,034 --> 00:14:21,537
(screams)
163
00:14:33,632 --> 00:14:35,718
Gee, that's very funny, Morris.
164
00:15:13,505 --> 00:15:15,591
Pee Wee.
165
00:15:24,933 --> 00:15:27,061
Pee Wee, it's not that bad.
166
00:15:27,144 --> 00:15:31,899
Tell those guys the members of your harem
don't want to make it with a bunch of jerks.
167
00:15:31,982 --> 00:15:35,110
- That's what you'd do, huh?
- I don't have a harem.
168
00:15:35,194 --> 00:15:37,279
Oh, that's not what I hear.
169
00:15:40,157 --> 00:15:42,743
What'd you hear?
170
00:15:42,826 --> 00:15:47,081
I was asking who's the biggest pushover
in school. You know what everybody said?
171
00:15:47,164 --> 00:15:49,249
- Wendy Williams?
- Right.
172
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:53,128
It can't be the first time
you've heard that stuff.
173
00:15:53,212 --> 00:15:55,589
- That's different.
- Why?
174
00:15:55,673 --> 00:15:57,758
Before, I wanted it to be true.
175
00:15:59,802 --> 00:16:01,887
And I guess now I don't.
176
00:16:04,181 --> 00:16:07,142
Well, that's good. Because it's not true.
177
00:16:08,519 --> 00:16:10,604
- It isn't?
- No.
178
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:16,652
- You don't believe me?
- You went on the bus with me, just like that.
179
00:16:16,735 --> 00:16:22,408
That's like the old joke "I wouldn't belong to
any club that would have me as a member."
180
00:16:23,409 --> 00:16:25,661
Pee Wee, don't you know why I did that?
181
00:16:25,744 --> 00:16:27,830
Yeah. The bet with Tommy.
182
00:16:29,331 --> 00:16:31,417
I did it because I liked you...
183
00:16:32,167 --> 00:16:35,212
...and because I wanted to.
184
00:16:35,296 --> 00:16:37,548
- You did?
- Uh-huh.
185
00:16:39,133 --> 00:16:42,928
- You do it every time you want to?
- Yup. Every time I want to.
186
00:16:45,514 --> 00:16:48,559
It's just that I've only wanted to three times.
187
00:16:50,060 --> 00:16:52,146
Really?
188
00:16:54,189 --> 00:16:56,275
Tommy - you knew that.
189
00:16:56,358 --> 00:16:58,819
Some guy you don't know at summer camp.
190
00:16:58,902 --> 00:17:00,988
And you.
191
00:17:03,449 --> 00:17:06,952
Well, why are all these assholes
talking about you like that?
192
00:17:07,036 --> 00:17:12,082
Most guys are so desperate, they'll lie about
anybody to make themselves look like studs.
193
00:17:12,166 --> 00:17:16,462
Didn't you ever brag about some girl
you never really made it with?
194
00:17:17,129 --> 00:17:20,049
Well, I can't believe they'd make all that up.
195
00:17:20,132 --> 00:17:22,217
You know how I got my reputation?
196
00:17:23,052 --> 00:17:25,220
In the eighth grade.
197
00:17:25,304 --> 00:17:27,473
I didn't know anything. I mean...
198
00:17:29,850 --> 00:17:32,978
These guys tried to get me
to go skinny-dipping.
199
00:17:33,604 --> 00:17:37,358
I didn't want to, but I didn't care
if they did so I watched.
200
00:17:38,442 --> 00:17:40,569
I thought it was funny, you know.
201
00:17:40,653 --> 00:17:42,738
Flopping around.
202
00:17:43,614 --> 00:17:45,699
Oh, God.
203
00:17:45,783 --> 00:17:48,911
The next day in school, I was a slut.
204
00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:51,872
I mean, the original mattress-back.
205
00:17:56,126 --> 00:17:58,212
I got used to it.
206
00:17:59,338 --> 00:18:01,423
What do they know about me?
207
00:18:02,299 --> 00:18:05,177
I do what I want.
I don't care what anybody thinks.
208
00:18:06,845 --> 00:18:09,515
Well, um...
I mean, don't you care what I think?
209
00:18:11,183 --> 00:18:13,268
Mm-hm.
210
00:18:14,019 --> 00:18:16,105
I care.
211
00:18:17,815 --> 00:18:19,984
But I can't tell you what to think.
212
00:18:22,319 --> 00:18:24,405
I can only tell you the truth.
213
00:18:29,618 --> 00:18:32,037
Oh, boy.
214
00:18:32,121 --> 00:18:34,790
Well? We gonna be buddies?
215
00:18:35,749 --> 00:18:37,835
First, I'm gonna have to get into shape.
216
00:18:37,918 --> 00:18:40,337
Yeah, why?
217
00:18:40,421 --> 00:18:46,176
Cos I'm gonna kick the shit out of these guys!
I don't want 'em talkin' about my girl like that.
218
00:18:52,933 --> 00:18:55,352
(Mrs Morris) Come on, kids! Let's go.
219
00:18:56,020 --> 00:18:58,814
- Shit.
- That's your cue.
220
00:18:59,898 --> 00:19:03,485
We got somethin' cookin'
for your Cherry Forever revenge.
221
00:19:03,569 --> 00:19:05,946
Who's "we" and how
did you know about that?
222
00:19:06,030 --> 00:19:10,743
"We" is Brian and me. And what do you
mean, how do I know? I look after my guy.
223
00:19:10,826 --> 00:19:14,038
- We even know where to get the girl.
- Don't worry. I got a lead.
224
00:19:14,121 --> 00:19:17,916
- What's the plan?
- We're still workin' on it. I'll tell you tonight.
225
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,646
Big Edna?
226
00:19:45,736 --> 00:19:48,405
- Hi. I'm Pee Wee Morris.
- I know.
227
00:19:48,489 --> 00:19:50,741
You do? Ah, well, that figures.
228
00:19:50,824 --> 00:19:54,870
I heard you had a little problem
with the boys in the band the other night.
229
00:19:54,953 --> 00:19:55,996
Huh?
230
00:19:56,080 --> 00:20:00,376
Edna, I have some guys that won't
let you down. You know what I mean?
231
00:20:00,459 --> 00:20:01,502
No.
232
00:20:01,585 --> 00:20:05,756
Come on, Edna. A big girl like you takes
a lot of men to keep you satisfied, right?
233
00:20:05,839 --> 00:20:10,427
- What are you talking about?
- Come on, you know what I'm talkin' about!
234
00:20:10,719 --> 00:20:13,514
- I don't.
- Edna, come here.
235
00:20:14,181 --> 00:20:16,642
- I wonder what he's up to.
- Who knows.
236
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,272
- What do you think?
- No way.
237
00:20:22,356 --> 00:20:24,775
(Edna) Gang-bang? Gang-bang?!
238
00:20:31,615 --> 00:20:34,118
Dirty, rotten, filthy little creep!
239
00:20:35,828 --> 00:20:39,415
- Are you OK?
- I take it that was a no.
240
00:20:39,498 --> 00:20:41,917
- She's thinking it over.
- You're funny.
241
00:20:42,001 --> 00:20:45,462
Look, don't worry about it.
We'll switch to plan B.
242
00:20:45,546 --> 00:20:48,924
- Plan B? I don't even know what plan A was.
- Here's what we'll do.
243
00:20:49,591 --> 00:20:51,677
Yet I will try the last.
244
00:20:52,594 --> 00:20:54,221
Lay on, Macduff...
245
00:20:54,305 --> 00:20:58,517
...And damn'd be he
that first cries "Hold, enough!"
246
00:20:59,810 --> 00:21:01,895
No, not you.
247
00:21:02,396 --> 00:21:05,858
Shakespeare. The... play.
248
00:21:11,905 --> 00:21:15,159
- I'm glad I don't have to eat these.
- You seen Billy around?
249
00:21:15,242 --> 00:21:19,621
- Don't bug him, he's studying his role.
- He's studying, you ignorant oafs.
250
00:21:19,705 --> 00:21:23,917
- I got a role he can study.
- He's not ready for a role that big, yet.
251
00:21:25,169 --> 00:21:26,795
Hey, Mickey!
252
00:21:26,879 --> 00:21:28,464
Suckers.
253
00:21:28,547 --> 00:21:30,633
Hey, McCarty.
254
00:21:31,425 --> 00:21:33,427
Can we have your autograph?
255
00:21:33,510 --> 00:21:38,057
Look, you guys, when I become a big star
and I'm rubbing elbows with Ava Gardner...
256
00:21:38,140 --> 00:21:42,144
...you're the first people I intend to forget.
- That's Hollywood.
257
00:21:42,227 --> 00:21:45,689
"Gentle Puck, come hither."
What the fuck's a puck?
258
00:21:45,773 --> 00:21:51,236
It's a character. It's a friend of Oberon's.
He's like a... a little forest ranger.
259
00:21:51,945 --> 00:21:54,740
- Puck? A little forest ranger?
- Yes.
260
00:21:54,823 --> 00:21:57,242
- Well, who plays that part?
- Pee Wee.
261
00:21:57,326 --> 00:22:02,915
Oh. So Pee Wee plays the little fairy and
you play a big fairy. That's a lot of fairies.
262
00:22:02,998 --> 00:22:06,043
You guys get to run around
the woods together?
263
00:22:06,126 --> 00:22:10,881
You guys must be really proud of your
ignorance cos you show it off so much.
264
00:22:21,266 --> 00:22:23,560
- John Henry.
- Yes, I know.
265
00:22:24,979 --> 00:22:27,815
Tell Mrs Morris I'll take the part.
266
00:22:27,898 --> 00:22:30,609
I will. I'm glad.
267
00:22:35,823 --> 00:22:39,326
- Is he in the show?
- Well, he is now.
268
00:22:39,410 --> 00:22:43,288
- He's a Seminole.
- Observant, Tim. Real observant.
269
00:22:43,372 --> 00:22:47,960
No, no, no. I just meant that, uh...
some people might not care for that.
270
00:22:48,919 --> 00:22:51,463
- Well, it's all right with me.
- Me too.
271
00:22:53,382 --> 00:22:55,801
- We're gonna see the broad tonight?
- Right.
272
00:22:55,884 --> 00:22:58,929
- Do you think they'll go for it?
- If you keep your cool.
273
00:22:59,013 --> 00:23:02,308
- Just think of it as an acting lesson.
- Cool. Right.
274
00:23:07,104 --> 00:23:09,273
- Tomorrow night at 11 o'clock.
- Right.
275
00:23:09,356 --> 00:23:12,318
- It'll work, right? Graveyard Gloria, right?
- Right.
276
00:23:12,401 --> 00:23:14,486
- Cool, right?
- Right.
277
00:23:17,531 --> 00:23:20,659
- You could be the biggest fairy of 'em all.
- Eat my shorts.
278
00:23:20,743 --> 00:23:23,787
- Hey, you guys, how they hangin'?
- (squawking)
279
00:23:23,871 --> 00:23:29,084
Cut it out, for Christ's sake! I come here with
an offer of a lifetime and you act like children.
280
00:23:29,168 --> 00:23:33,339
- We're sorry. What's your offer?
- Forget it. Billy, let's go.
281
00:23:33,422 --> 00:23:36,342
You wanna sample the greatest ass
in five counties?
282
00:23:36,425 --> 00:23:40,304
- What ass is this?
- Get this. By day, a mild-mannered librarian.
283
00:23:40,387 --> 00:23:42,765
She looks like a buttoned-up icebox.
284
00:23:42,848 --> 00:23:47,353
But you get her near a cemetery
and she'll ride you into the ground!
285
00:23:47,436 --> 00:23:51,023
I'm not kiddin'. They call her
"Graveyard Gloria, the fuck of death".
286
00:23:51,106 --> 00:23:55,235
I got it all lined up! You wanna act like
men for a change and take a shot at this?
287
00:23:55,319 --> 00:23:59,990
- I don't know. Do you wanna give her a shot?
- Yeah, but it might spoil it for the rest of you.
288
00:24:00,074 --> 00:24:02,743
Why not? She's gotta have
some curiosity value.
289
00:24:02,826 --> 00:24:04,995
I got it all worked out for you.
290
00:24:05,079 --> 00:24:08,582
- How about you, McCarty?
- Oh, I just love graveyards.
291
00:24:08,666 --> 00:24:11,210
- But can't we rehearse first?
- Sure, Billy.
292
00:24:12,628 --> 00:24:14,713
See you, Rock.
293
00:24:14,797 --> 00:24:17,841
- Graveyard Gloria, my ass.
- I wonder where he dug her up?
294
00:24:17,925 --> 00:24:20,594
That's funny. Not as funny
as your face, but funny.
295
00:24:20,678 --> 00:24:25,557
- The little booger's up to something.
- We're gonna have to keep an eye on him.
296
00:24:25,641 --> 00:24:28,686
How we gonna do that?
He's in rehearsal all day.
297
00:24:30,145 --> 00:24:33,065
Well, Anthony, you always
wanted to be an actor.
298
00:24:33,148 --> 00:24:35,484
Me, an actor? No fuckin' way.
299
00:24:35,567 --> 00:24:39,279
You gotta be kiddin'. It'll never happen.
Count on it.
300
00:24:40,364 --> 00:24:42,449
(laughter)
301
00:24:53,544 --> 00:24:55,754
Thanks for coming by, Anthony.
302
00:24:55,838 --> 00:24:59,174
I just figured I'd, um...
kinda like, ask you a question.
303
00:24:59,258 --> 00:25:02,219
I mean, is this guy, like... Is he, like, uh...
304
00:25:06,890 --> 00:25:08,559
No.
305
00:25:08,767 --> 00:25:11,603
How come he has to wear,
you know, clothes like this?
306
00:25:12,229 --> 00:25:14,356
Well, he's pretending to be a girl.
307
00:25:15,607 --> 00:25:18,777
Just pretending? OK, OK.
308
00:25:19,778 --> 00:25:22,489
Will you read Thisbe's speech on page 120?
309
00:25:22,573 --> 00:25:24,283
- Yeah.
- (laughter)
310
00:25:24,742 --> 00:25:29,455
(woodenly) "O wall! Full often
hast thou heard my moans."
311
00:25:31,248 --> 00:25:33,626
- Pretty good, huh?
- (laughter)
312
00:25:33,709 --> 00:25:36,795
Anthony, can you get
your voice a little higher?
313
00:25:36,879 --> 00:25:40,215
- Huh?
- Well, he's pretending to be a girl.
314
00:25:44,470 --> 00:25:47,139
(bleats) "My cherry lips..."
315
00:25:49,183 --> 00:25:52,353
A little higher, Anthony. Come on.
316
00:25:53,937 --> 00:25:57,274
(falsetto) "And I like Helen,
till the Fates me..."
317
00:25:57,733 --> 00:25:59,860
This... This isn't gonna work.
318
00:25:59,943 --> 00:26:02,905
I-I just got a naturally deep voice. You know.
319
00:26:02,988 --> 00:26:06,450
- (Pee Wee grunts)
- I just naturally got a man's voice.
320
00:26:06,533 --> 00:26:09,244
- Ssh.
- (Pee Wee grunts)
321
00:26:26,011 --> 00:26:28,097
(♪ fairground music)
322
00:26:43,612 --> 00:26:45,698
Really neat disguise.
323
00:26:45,781 --> 00:26:47,866
Yeah!
324
00:26:49,451 --> 00:26:51,912
I think I'm going to regret this.
325
00:26:53,622 --> 00:26:55,708
(clown laughs)
326
00:27:01,338 --> 00:27:03,424
(cheering)
327
00:27:37,875 --> 00:27:39,960
Shit.
328
00:27:41,503 --> 00:27:44,465
(woman) Graveyard Gloria?
Why not? Sounds like fun.
329
00:27:44,548 --> 00:27:46,717
- You got a deal.
- (Pee Wee) That's great.
330
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,053
- (horse whinnies)
- (woman) Rex, shut up!
331
00:27:49,136 --> 00:27:51,221
Gosh, he's so possessive.
332
00:27:52,097 --> 00:27:55,934
- (Pee Wee) OK, Friday night. Good night.
- (woman) See you later, boys.
333
00:27:56,018 --> 00:27:59,146
- They're gonna shit. Definitely.
- Definitely.
334
00:27:59,229 --> 00:28:01,315
Oh, definitely.
335
00:28:15,371 --> 00:28:17,665
- What do you want?
- Is Gloria in?
336
00:28:18,624 --> 00:28:21,085
- Who wants her?
- We wanna talk some business.
337
00:28:21,168 --> 00:28:25,297
- She ain't interested.
- We brought along a few friends of ours.
338
00:28:26,465 --> 00:28:28,550
Oh, well...
339
00:28:29,134 --> 00:28:31,762
...any friend of yours is a friend of ours.
340
00:28:35,683 --> 00:28:40,104
- (♪ Dance music on flute)
- That is great. Great. Nice, nice.
341
00:28:40,187 --> 00:28:42,272
Very good. Next!
342
00:28:47,194 --> 00:28:49,279
(Mrs Morris chuckles)
343
00:28:50,114 --> 00:28:53,951
Lovely! Oh, just wonderful.
344
00:28:54,034 --> 00:28:55,703
(applauds)
345
00:28:55,786 --> 00:28:57,871
Next!
346
00:28:58,664 --> 00:29:01,834
All right, who's supposed to be next?
Let's move it.
347
00:29:03,627 --> 00:29:07,131
Come on, folks. Let's get with it, please.
348
00:29:10,134 --> 00:29:12,344
All right, who's supposed to be next?
349
00:29:12,970 --> 00:29:16,974
- It's Pee Wee.
- Oh. I see.
350
00:29:17,057 --> 00:29:18,100
Pee Wee!
351
00:29:19,518 --> 00:29:24,356
- (Pee Wee) I'm not comin' out.
- Pee Wee, get out here right now.
352
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:27,609
All we need is a brief look at the costume.
353
00:29:27,693 --> 00:29:29,361
(Pee Wee) No way.
354
00:29:29,445 --> 00:29:34,742
Pee Wee, you get out here right now or you're
sitting out the rest of the baseball season.
355
00:29:34,825 --> 00:29:37,828
- Mom, I can't. Everybody'll laugh.
- Nobody will laugh.
356
00:29:37,911 --> 00:29:40,581
- Yes, they will.
- No, they won't.
357
00:29:40,664 --> 00:29:44,460
- Will anybody laugh?
- (all) No.
358
00:29:50,341 --> 00:29:52,635
Get the curtain.
359
00:30:00,684 --> 00:30:03,062
It looks great, Pee Wee.
360
00:30:03,771 --> 00:30:06,565
- Nice horn, buddy.
- Love your dress, Meat.
361
00:30:08,025 --> 00:30:09,234
Nice tail.
362
00:30:09,610 --> 00:30:13,947
Excellent, costumers.
Very good. Very creative.
363
00:30:14,615 --> 00:30:18,661
- All right, let's get on with it.
- You're not gettin' on with anything.
364
00:30:18,744 --> 00:30:23,290
- I beg your pardon?
- Rise, flock, and follow.
365
00:30:23,374 --> 00:30:26,961
Excuse me. This is a closed rehearsal.
We don't open for...
366
00:30:27,044 --> 00:30:30,172
This show is never gonna open.
367
00:30:30,255 --> 00:30:32,883
Miss Balbricker.
To what do I owe this pleasure?
368
00:30:32,967 --> 00:30:38,180
Oh, it's no pleasure, I assure you, Morris.
I'm here to lend support to Reverend Flavel.
369
00:30:38,263 --> 00:30:43,644
And I'm the spiritual leader of the
Righteous Flock, Reverend Bubba Flavel.
370
00:30:43,769 --> 00:30:46,605
Bubble Flavour?
371
00:30:46,689 --> 00:30:50,693
Bubba Flavel, Mrs Morris.
Reverend Bubba Flavel.
372
00:30:51,902 --> 00:30:55,948
- It is Mrs Morris, is it not?
- The last time I looked.
373
00:30:56,031 --> 00:31:01,370
Would you put cow puckeys in
these children's mouths, Mrs Morris?
374
00:31:01,453 --> 00:31:03,580
What?
375
00:31:03,789 --> 00:31:06,458
Or dog oogies?
376
00:31:06,542 --> 00:31:08,043
(groaning)
377
00:31:08,252 --> 00:31:10,838
Or pelican snot?
378
00:31:11,505 --> 00:31:14,508
- Excuse me, I am going to be ill.
- (laughter)
379
00:31:14,925 --> 00:31:17,886
This is Shakespeare. It is not filth.
380
00:31:18,095 --> 00:31:24,601
Oh, yes. I know, that's the official position
of the academic community. However...
381
00:31:24,685 --> 00:31:27,730
Exactly what are you trying
to tell us, Reverend Flavel?
382
00:31:28,063 --> 00:31:33,527
We're closing you down, Morris.
Closing you down.
383
00:31:33,610 --> 00:31:36,280
- On whose authority?
- God's.
384
00:31:36,363 --> 00:31:40,034
- The Righteous Flock's.
- So sayeth the shepherd.
385
00:31:40,117 --> 00:31:42,202
So sayeth the flock.
386
00:31:43,037 --> 00:31:46,123
If that's not good enough,
we'll go to the principal.
387
00:31:46,206 --> 00:31:48,626
Then let's do that, Miss Balbricker.
388
00:31:49,376 --> 00:31:52,838
Let's just do that. Right now.
389
00:31:56,634 --> 00:31:58,969
Mr Carter, there's a mob here to see you.
390
00:31:59,053 --> 00:32:04,141
- Do they have an appointment, Betty?
- (Flavel) God always has an appointment!
391
00:32:14,777 --> 00:32:16,862
(man) Come on, Mr Carter.
392
00:32:21,533 --> 00:32:24,662
Well, Reverend. What is the problem now?
393
00:32:24,745 --> 00:32:27,748
What is the problem? What is the problem?
394
00:32:27,831 --> 00:32:30,376
The problem is fornication.
395
00:32:30,459 --> 00:32:33,337
- So sayeth the shepherd.
- So sayeth the flock.
396
00:32:33,420 --> 00:32:37,549
Sister Balbricker. Open your book.
You play the woman's part.
397
00:32:38,884 --> 00:32:42,805
Shakespeare is trash!
I'll give proof. Listen to this!
398
00:32:42,888 --> 00:32:46,266
"If I be waspish, best beware of my sting."
399
00:32:46,350 --> 00:32:49,937
"Who knows not
where a wasp does wear his sting?"
400
00:32:50,020 --> 00:32:53,023
Get this: "In his tail."
401
00:32:53,107 --> 00:32:56,360
- "In his tongue."
- "Whose tongue?"
402
00:32:56,443 --> 00:33:00,781
"Yours, if you talk of tails: and so, farewell."
403
00:33:01,156 --> 00:33:04,994
"What! With my tongue in your tail?"
404
00:33:05,077 --> 00:33:07,913
Now, there's no mistaking
his intention. No, sir.
405
00:33:07,997 --> 00:33:12,126
He intends to put his tongue
in a woman's tail.
406
00:33:12,209 --> 00:33:15,546
- What kind of man would do such a thing?
- (cheering)
407
00:33:17,298 --> 00:33:20,467
Reverend, here is the Bible.
Now... Now, listen.
408
00:33:20,676 --> 00:33:22,761
Just a moment. Listen.
409
00:33:22,970 --> 00:33:27,641
"And my beloved put in his hand
by the hole of the door...
410
00:33:27,933 --> 00:33:30,811
...and my bowels were moved for him."
411
00:33:30,894 --> 00:33:32,813
Song of Solomon. Chapter 5.
412
00:33:32,896 --> 00:33:37,651
- The devil can cite scripture for his purpose.
- He can cite Shakespeare too, Reverend.
413
00:33:37,818 --> 00:33:41,947
I have read Solomon and Job and Isaiah...
414
00:33:42,031 --> 00:33:46,702
...and Jeremiah and Malachi
and Matthew and Mark and Luke and John.
415
00:33:46,785 --> 00:33:49,538
- And nowhere...
- He forgot Sneezy and Doc.
416
00:33:49,622 --> 00:33:52,207
Nowhere do I find the likes of this.
417
00:33:52,833 --> 00:33:56,378
Midsummer Night's Dream. Act V. Scene I.
418
00:33:56,462 --> 00:34:00,424
"The iron tongue of midnight hath told 12;
419
00:34:00,507 --> 00:34:06,722
Lovers, to bed; 'tis almost fairy time."
420
00:34:07,348 --> 00:34:10,392
Good God! It's enough
to make a real man sick.
421
00:34:10,476 --> 00:34:12,895
- So sayeth the shepherd.
- So sayeth the flock.
422
00:34:12,978 --> 00:34:15,856
"And Abraham was 90 years old and nine...
423
00:34:15,939 --> 00:34:22,863
...when he was circumcised in the flesh
of his foreskin." Genesis 17.
424
00:34:22,946 --> 00:34:25,032
(cheering)
425
00:34:26,367 --> 00:34:29,286
A Midsummer Night's Dream. Act IV, scene I.
426
00:34:29,370 --> 00:34:31,705
"I could munch your good dry oats."
427
00:34:31,789 --> 00:34:35,084
- So sayeth the shepherd.
- So sayeth the flock.
428
00:34:35,167 --> 00:34:39,630
"And thy navel is like a rounded
goblet which wanteth not liquor."
429
00:34:39,713 --> 00:34:41,882
Solomon 7, verse 2.
430
00:34:43,968 --> 00:34:47,012
And King Lear. Act IV. Scene VI.
431
00:34:47,096 --> 00:34:49,598
"Let copulation thrive!"
432
00:34:49,890 --> 00:34:53,894
- So sayeth the shepherd.
- So sayeth the flock.
433
00:34:53,978 --> 00:34:56,730
"And when the Lord saw Leah was hated...
434
00:34:56,814 --> 00:34:58,941
...he opened up her womb."
435
00:34:59,024 --> 00:35:01,235
Genesis 24:31.
436
00:35:01,318 --> 00:35:03,112
(cheering)
437
00:35:05,406 --> 00:35:08,450
Vile! Blasphemous!
438
00:35:08,575 --> 00:35:12,413
Intolerable! Shakespeare must go!
439
00:35:12,538 --> 00:35:16,959
- So sayeth the shepherd.
- So sayeth the flock.
440
00:35:18,043 --> 00:35:20,129
God damn you, you... (mumbles)
441
00:35:24,133 --> 00:35:26,427
What sayeth you, Mr Carter?
442
00:35:28,846 --> 00:35:31,348
Get the flock outta here!
443
00:35:40,983 --> 00:35:43,319
All right, Mr Carter!
444
00:35:51,619 --> 00:35:53,704
This means war.
445
00:35:53,787 --> 00:35:55,706
Holy war!
446
00:35:56,790 --> 00:35:59,043
Flock, follow!
447
00:36:06,258 --> 00:36:07,426
Thank you.
448
00:36:14,099 --> 00:36:16,602
- Will you hurry up?
- Brian, who do I look like?
449
00:36:16,685 --> 00:36:19,313
One last time: Boris Karloff as the Mummy.
450
00:36:19,396 --> 00:36:23,609
- Dead right. Dead ringer, huh?
- One more dead joke, you're dead.
451
00:36:25,027 --> 00:36:27,988
Excuse me, girls.
Y'all know a good dermatologist?
452
00:36:30,824 --> 00:36:34,870
- Let's go over it one more time.
- We pick 'em up. You introduce me.
453
00:36:34,954 --> 00:36:38,123
"Miss Gloria Tightass,
little Miss Prim and Proper."
454
00:36:38,207 --> 00:36:43,045
"Good evening, boys. It's swell to meet you."
I figure she whispers, being from a library.
455
00:36:43,128 --> 00:36:46,715
Right. Good, but talk about books
or something. Keep 'em off guard.
456
00:36:46,799 --> 00:36:48,676
Oh, yeah. Books.
457
00:36:48,759 --> 00:36:51,011
Then we take the detour. You ask me why.
458
00:36:51,095 --> 00:36:53,764
- When you hear the word "graveyard"...
- I get hot.
459
00:36:53,847 --> 00:36:57,559
Really hot. Be convincing,
because they'll be lookin' for a trap.
460
00:36:57,643 --> 00:37:02,398
- You even gotta convince me.
- Lover, I will be convincing.
461
00:37:02,481 --> 00:37:07,403
Oh, I want these guys so horny,
they'll do anything for it. Anything.
462
00:37:23,335 --> 00:37:28,132
- What is the matter with you?
- (slurs) It's the booze, man. It's deadly.
463
00:37:29,383 --> 00:37:30,759
Whoops! Whoa!
464
00:37:30,843 --> 00:37:33,804
Wait a minute. I almost forgot my bottle.
465
00:37:33,887 --> 00:37:35,973
That would be a grave error.
466
00:37:36,056 --> 00:37:38,267
(giggles)
467
00:37:38,350 --> 00:37:41,770
So, uh... Gloria,
have you read any good books lately?
468
00:37:41,854 --> 00:37:45,399
- I read My Gun is Quick. Do you know it?
- Know it? He lives it.
469
00:37:45,482 --> 00:37:48,944
- Really? Are you a private eye?
- No, he's a private dick.
470
00:37:49,028 --> 00:37:52,239
- But not by choice.
- Turner, how about gobblin' my joint?
471
00:37:52,323 --> 00:37:56,702
- No, I never read that one, Meat.
- Me neither. It's not in the library yet.
472
00:37:56,785 --> 00:37:59,204
How come we've never
seen you at the library?
473
00:37:59,288 --> 00:38:02,458
- She works odd hours.
- Midnight till three.
474
00:38:02,541 --> 00:38:06,962
That reminds me. I said I'd stop by the
cemetery to put flowers on Granddad's grave.
475
00:38:07,046 --> 00:38:08,881
Oh, the graveyard?
476
00:38:08,964 --> 00:38:13,510
Ooh, Pee Wee. Oooh! Oh, Pee Wee.
477
00:38:14,970 --> 00:38:16,472
♪ The worms crawl in
478
00:38:16,555 --> 00:38:18,223
♪ The worms crawl out
479
00:38:18,307 --> 00:38:23,437
♪ The worms play pinochle on your snout
480
00:38:30,444 --> 00:38:33,238
- Hey, don't forget your flowers.
- Ssh, ssh...
481
00:38:33,322 --> 00:38:35,574
- Where are the rednecks?
- Over there.
482
00:38:35,658 --> 00:38:37,368
Where's Steve?
483
00:38:37,451 --> 00:38:41,288
I think we ought a nail him
in his coffin and leave him overnight.
484
00:38:41,372 --> 00:38:44,541
Hey, listen. Listen to me.
I'm gonna go back to her and...
485
00:38:44,625 --> 00:38:47,461
- She's hot, man.
- That's what you said, Pee Wee.
486
00:38:47,544 --> 00:38:50,422
- But she's really hot!
- Pee Wee, I'm getting hot.
487
00:38:50,506 --> 00:38:54,301
I want all you guys - but especially you.
488
00:38:55,386 --> 00:38:57,471
Go get her, Pee Wee.
489
00:38:59,306 --> 00:39:01,809
I'm getting hot and I really mean it.
490
00:39:01,892 --> 00:39:05,145
Let's you and I go do it
before the others get there.
491
00:39:05,229 --> 00:39:07,064
(Graveyard Gloria moans)
492
00:39:07,147 --> 00:39:09,233
Oh, shit!
493
00:39:09,900 --> 00:39:13,362
- Bye, Pee Wee.
- Like shootin' fish in a barrel.
494
00:39:13,445 --> 00:39:16,782
- Don't die till he gets all his clothes off.
- Right.
495
00:39:19,118 --> 00:39:21,829
- He's going to shit.
- So am I.
496
00:39:22,246 --> 00:39:23,956
Steve! Steve!
497
00:39:24,039 --> 00:39:26,834
- (Steve) The worms crawl up my nose...
- Shut up, man.
498
00:39:26,917 --> 00:39:31,588
Listen, come on! The signal's been delayed.
Somethin' important came up.
499
00:39:31,964 --> 00:39:34,967
- Be realistic when you die.
- Don't worry, sugar.
500
00:39:35,050 --> 00:39:36,719
- Go easy, Bill.
- Right.
501
00:39:36,802 --> 00:39:38,220
Ow!
502
00:39:38,554 --> 00:39:40,431
OK. I'm ready.
503
00:39:40,639 --> 00:39:43,142
Ah. Well...
504
00:39:43,976 --> 00:39:47,688
I'm dying for it. But wait.
505
00:39:47,938 --> 00:39:51,191
I want you to come... slowly.
506
00:39:53,819 --> 00:39:58,198
Step by step... by step.
507
00:39:58,282 --> 00:40:00,701
I wanna feel your arms around me.
508
00:40:00,784 --> 00:40:03,037
(moans)
509
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:08,334
Your lips on mine. Your hands on my body.
510
00:40:09,293 --> 00:40:10,628
Oh, yes.
511
00:40:11,295 --> 00:40:14,048
Touching, searching, feeling.
512
00:40:14,214 --> 00:40:16,342
Oh, Pee Wee! Pee Wee!
513
00:40:17,301 --> 00:40:19,386
(Pee Wee laughs incredulously)
514
00:40:20,095 --> 00:40:22,264
My God.
515
00:40:23,223 --> 00:40:25,643
What's the matter? Don't you like me?
516
00:40:25,726 --> 00:40:27,811
(moans)
517
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:30,773
(strangulated tone) Pee Wee!
518
00:40:32,608 --> 00:40:35,027
- What?
- Pee Wee!
519
00:40:35,903 --> 00:40:37,571
What?
520
00:40:39,615 --> 00:40:40,616
Oh, Pee Wee!
521
00:40:40,699 --> 00:40:42,785
(death-rattle)
522
00:40:44,495 --> 00:40:47,998
I thought she was supposed
to be doing this realistic.
523
00:40:53,003 --> 00:40:55,422
Holy shit!
524
00:40:55,506 --> 00:40:56,882
Ssh! Ssh!
525
00:40:57,341 --> 00:40:59,259
Help, Tommy!
526
00:40:59,468 --> 00:41:01,553
Help, Tommy, come here! Hurry!
527
00:41:01,637 --> 00:41:05,057
- Help! Tommy!
- We've got to act serious.
528
00:41:05,140 --> 00:41:06,183
Tommy!
529
00:41:06,642 --> 00:41:08,936
- What happened?
- I don't know.
530
00:41:09,019 --> 00:41:11,355
- Check her pulse.
- What pulse?
531
00:41:11,438 --> 00:41:14,692
- What do you mean, what pulse?
- Is there a heartbeat?
532
00:41:14,775 --> 00:41:18,320
- I don't think so.
- Of course there is! Otherwise she'd be...
533
00:41:18,404 --> 00:41:20,280
- Dead.
- Dead?
534
00:41:20,906 --> 00:41:22,199
Oh, Pee Wee!
535
00:41:22,282 --> 00:41:26,662
Don't look, Pee Wee. Just don't look!
Don't look. Just don't look! Don't look!
536
00:41:26,745 --> 00:41:28,956
She can't be dead. Let me look.
537
00:41:36,213 --> 00:41:39,341
- Dead as a fuckin' doornail.
- Oh, shit!
538
00:41:39,550 --> 00:41:41,677
You got her too excited, Pee Wee.
539
00:41:41,844 --> 00:41:45,764
- I think we should call the police.
- Police?! My mom's gonna kill me.
540
00:41:47,266 --> 00:41:49,059
- We can't do that.
- Why not?
541
00:41:49,143 --> 00:41:51,312
- Pee Wee'll go to jail.
- Jail?
542
00:41:52,479 --> 00:41:57,443
- What do you mean?
- This is coitus interruptus. In extremis.
543
00:41:57,526 --> 00:42:00,863
- That's a good point.
- But I didn't do anything, Tommy!
544
00:42:00,946 --> 00:42:02,865
The law doesn't look at it that way.
545
00:42:02,948 --> 00:42:07,369
If a woman dies while you're boffing her,
you're considered an accomplice.
546
00:42:07,453 --> 00:42:10,414
- Oh, shit, Pee Wee.
- Oh, my God.
547
00:42:10,497 --> 00:42:13,292
Look, Pee Wee. It really wasn't your fault.
548
00:42:13,834 --> 00:42:15,753
She probably had a bad heart.
549
00:42:15,836 --> 00:42:20,132
- Yeah, it could have happened to any of us.
- Yeah, especially you, Meat.
550
00:42:21,925 --> 00:42:26,805
- So. What are we gonna do?
- William, there's only one thing to do.
551
00:42:26,889 --> 00:42:28,974
What's that, Thomas?
552
00:42:31,602 --> 00:42:33,729
Bury her.
553
00:42:33,854 --> 00:42:36,398
Yeah, yeah. We've gotta protect Pee Wee.
554
00:42:36,607 --> 00:42:38,984
They might miss her down at the library.
555
00:42:41,612 --> 00:42:44,823
I just suppose that's a chance
we're gonna have to take.
556
00:42:44,907 --> 00:42:48,118
- Absolutely right.
- Meat, you wanna grab that body?
557
00:42:51,288 --> 00:42:54,083
- Watch your hands.
- What do you care? You're dead.
558
00:42:55,084 --> 00:42:58,587
- She's gettin' stiff already.
- So are you, Meat.
559
00:43:14,561 --> 00:43:19,233
Oh, bogey! Bogey, bogey, bogey!
560
00:43:23,737 --> 00:43:25,531
(Steve continues to rant)
561
00:43:25,614 --> 00:43:27,866
- What is this?
- (Pee Wee) Nothin'.
562
00:43:28,867 --> 00:43:31,161
- "Nothin" '?
- Who's in there?
563
00:43:31,245 --> 00:43:33,163
- Nobody.
- "Nobody"?
564
00:43:33,247 --> 00:43:36,625
Bogey, bogey, bogey!
Bogey, bogey, bogey!
565
00:43:38,419 --> 00:43:39,837
Bogey.
566
00:43:40,087 --> 00:43:41,714
- It's Steve.
- Steve?
567
00:43:41,797 --> 00:43:44,174
- It was a joke.
- A joke?
568
00:43:44,258 --> 00:43:49,555
Good God, there's a woman lying dead over
there. And you're telling us it was a joke?
569
00:43:49,638 --> 00:43:51,181
I didn't know!
570
00:43:51,265 --> 00:43:54,810
We've put up with your pranks
for many years now.
571
00:43:54,893 --> 00:43:58,772
But we never dreamed that you'd
have such little regard for human life.
572
00:43:58,856 --> 00:44:03,777
- We're disappointed. Bitterly disappointed.
- Well, God help you, Pee Wee.
573
00:44:05,279 --> 00:44:08,073
- You're gonna have to live with this!
- Yeah. Amen.
574
00:44:09,658 --> 00:44:11,744
But...
575
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:16,999
- Oh, shit, Steve.
- (man) Hey!
576
00:44:17,875 --> 00:44:19,335
Hey!
577
00:44:19,418 --> 00:44:21,962
God dammit, I'm talkin' to you!
578
00:44:23,297 --> 00:44:25,966
What the fuck do you think you're doin'?
579
00:44:26,050 --> 00:44:30,846
- It's the goddamn grave robbers again.
- I'm gonna blow their fuckin' heads off.
580
00:44:30,929 --> 00:44:33,223
(boys cackle)
581
00:44:33,307 --> 00:44:35,559
Come on, you guys. What's goin' on?
582
00:44:35,976 --> 00:44:38,354
Holy shit!
583
00:44:38,437 --> 00:44:41,106
Bye-bye, Pee Wee. See you later!
584
00:44:41,815 --> 00:44:43,901
What are you guys doin'?
585
00:44:43,984 --> 00:44:47,404
- Shit!
- Bogey, bogey, bogey!
586
00:44:47,529 --> 00:44:50,824
- Bye, Pee Wee!
- See you around!
587
00:44:58,248 --> 00:45:01,877
- Crazy little fuckers.
- Well, it's an easy ten bucks.
588
00:45:01,961 --> 00:45:04,046
That's right. Hand it over.
589
00:45:04,546 --> 00:45:06,632
(Tarzan call)
590
00:45:10,886 --> 00:45:12,972
- Just kids.
- Yeah.
591
00:45:14,765 --> 00:45:17,351
Remember the last time
we were on this road?
592
00:45:17,434 --> 00:45:19,520
Yeah. Couldn't forget that.
593
00:45:33,450 --> 00:45:35,202
Hey!
594
00:45:35,911 --> 00:45:37,997
I really wanna hear this story.
595
00:45:40,791 --> 00:45:46,297
- Look out!
- Bogey, bogey! Bogey, bogey!
596
00:45:48,007 --> 00:45:51,343
Bogey, bogey, bogey!
Bogey, bogey, bogey! Bogey.
597
00:45:51,468 --> 00:45:53,095
Bogey, bogey, bogey!
598
00:45:53,637 --> 00:45:55,347
Bogey, bogey, bogey! Bogey, bogey!
599
00:45:55,764 --> 00:45:58,726
Bogey, bogey.
Bogey, bogey, bogey!
600
00:45:58,809 --> 00:46:01,687
Bogey, bogey, bogey!
Bogey, bogey, bogey!
601
00:46:02,146 --> 00:46:04,356
Bogey, bogey, bogey, bogey!
602
00:46:25,002 --> 00:46:27,087
(man) All right. That's it.
603
00:46:30,215 --> 00:46:32,301
(man laughs)
604
00:46:36,639 --> 00:46:38,724
(whistles tune)
605
00:46:40,643 --> 00:46:42,603
OK. OK, OK. All right.
606
00:46:42,686 --> 00:46:44,772
All right, take it up.
607
00:46:47,858 --> 00:46:50,235
This is gonna scare the shit out of 'em.
608
00:46:50,319 --> 00:46:52,988
(laughs)
609
00:46:56,825 --> 00:46:58,911
They gonna mess their trousers!
610
00:46:58,994 --> 00:47:01,288
(cackles)
611
00:47:01,372 --> 00:47:04,500
- Why are we doin' this?
- (Mrs Morris) I don't know, Billy.
612
00:47:04,583 --> 00:47:07,252
- Brian, get the house lights, please.
- Sure.
613
00:47:07,336 --> 00:47:11,465
Just pretend Reverend Flavel and
the county commissioners aren't out there.
614
00:47:11,548 --> 00:47:14,426
We'll do the scenes as we've rehearsed them.
615
00:47:14,510 --> 00:47:17,304
Now, don't worry about it. It's going to...
616
00:47:20,766 --> 00:47:22,851
(clattering)
617
00:47:29,650 --> 00:47:32,778
- (Billy) What is it?
- (Mrs Morris) These clowns.
618
00:47:33,529 --> 00:47:36,365
(Meat) What's this supposed to mean?
619
00:47:36,448 --> 00:47:37,574
Well...
620
00:47:37,658 --> 00:47:41,453
They don't like John Henry
playing Romeo to Wendy's Juliet.
621
00:47:43,247 --> 00:47:47,543
- I'll withdraw if you think it's best.
- Oh, no. We're not givin' in to this stuff.
622
00:47:47,626 --> 00:47:49,670
(Mrs Morris) Hold on a second.
623
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:55,175
John Henry, certainly we're not going
to be intimidated by this stupidity.
624
00:47:55,259 --> 00:47:58,679
But, ultimately, the decision
isn't ours. It's yours.
625
00:48:10,899 --> 00:48:12,985
(Balbricker) Mrs Morris!
626
00:48:14,862 --> 00:48:19,033
Oh, Mrs Morris. I'd like you to meet
His Honour Mayor John G Abernathy.
627
00:48:19,116 --> 00:48:22,536
- How do you do?
- How are you? Great school. Great.
628
00:48:22,620 --> 00:48:25,664
- Great school. My mother was a teacher.
- Really?
629
00:48:25,748 --> 00:48:30,377
Have you met the other commissioners?
Commissioner Couch. Commissioner Hurley.
630
00:48:30,461 --> 00:48:32,379
- Bob Gebhardt.
- Pleased to meet you.
631
00:48:32,463 --> 00:48:35,966
- Well, gentlemen, I hope you enjoy it.
- Not likely.
632
00:48:36,050 --> 00:48:38,344
I always admired the Bard myself.
633
00:48:38,427 --> 00:48:42,723
I know several thousand voters
who don't share your view, Commissioner.
634
00:48:42,806 --> 00:48:48,437
- That sounds like a threat, Reverend Flavel.
- The Lord doesn't have to threaten.
635
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:50,564
You remember that, Reverend Flavel.
636
00:48:50,648 --> 00:48:54,401
- Well, shall we start?
- (Mrs Morris) Of course, sir.
637
00:48:56,695 --> 00:49:00,199
(John) Call me but love,
and I'll be new baptised;
638
00:49:00,658 --> 00:49:03,369
Henceforth I never will be Romeo.
639
00:49:03,452 --> 00:49:05,412
What man art thou, that,
thus be screened in night...
640
00:49:05,496 --> 00:49:08,290
...So stumblest on my counsel?
641
00:49:08,832 --> 00:49:12,753
By a name
I know not how to tell thee who I am:
642
00:49:13,337 --> 00:49:18,842
My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself,
Because it is an enemy to thee.
643
00:49:19,593 --> 00:49:21,845
(Wendy) My ears have not yet drunk...
644
00:49:21,929 --> 00:49:25,140
- That kid's a Seminole.
- Yeah, probably.
645
00:49:25,224 --> 00:49:28,519
(Wendy)
Are thou not Romeo, and a Montague?
646
00:49:28,602 --> 00:49:32,022
If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully:
647
00:49:32,106 --> 00:49:37,027
Or if thou think'st I be too quickly won,
I'll frown and be perverse and say thee nay.
648
00:49:37,111 --> 00:49:40,990
- Lady, by yonder blessed moon...
- O swear not by the moon...
649
00:49:42,908 --> 00:49:46,328
That young man is not
of the American persuasion.
650
00:49:46,412 --> 00:49:48,289
(Wendy) My bounty is
as boundless as the sea...
651
00:49:48,372 --> 00:49:51,375
...My love as deep; the more I give to thee...
652
00:49:51,458 --> 00:49:54,169
...The more I have...
653
00:49:54,253 --> 00:49:56,964
Yet I should kill thee with much cherishing.
654
00:49:57,214 --> 00:49:59,717
Good night, good night!
Parting is such sweet sorrow...
655
00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:02,845
...That I shall say good night till it be morrow.
656
00:50:08,392 --> 00:50:10,227
(applause)
657
00:50:10,311 --> 00:50:12,396
(whistling)
658
00:50:15,065 --> 00:50:17,609
- Well?
- Didn't we tell you?
659
00:50:17,693 --> 00:50:23,741
I want the school board to cut off funds
for this extravaganza immediately.
660
00:50:23,824 --> 00:50:28,871
Well, we're not the school board. The school
board is an independently elected body.
661
00:50:28,954 --> 00:50:32,583
- We'll discuss it. I'll get back to you.
- This is ridiculous!
662
00:50:32,666 --> 00:50:38,422
Hell's a lot hotter than Angel Beach,
Mr Carter. You'll get quite a tan.
663
00:50:39,465 --> 00:50:41,717
I wouldn't worry too much about it.
664
00:50:47,097 --> 00:50:50,476
- Who's that guy?
- Commissioner Gebhardt. A friend of Dad's.
665
00:50:50,559 --> 00:50:54,730
- So what do you think?
- He's great. We got nothin' to worry about.
666
00:50:54,813 --> 00:50:57,524
- You know who's behind this.
- Yeah. Balbricker.
667
00:50:57,608 --> 00:50:59,943
Right. Now she gets hers.
668
00:51:01,487 --> 00:51:04,323
Thomas! Hold it, Thomas!
669
00:51:13,248 --> 00:51:14,917
- Billy.
- What's this?
670
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,878
- Blueprints.
- I know that. What are they of?
671
00:51:19,046 --> 00:51:21,715
- Take a look.
- OK. There's the school.
672
00:51:22,841 --> 00:51:26,303
OK. So this is the gym. So what?
673
00:51:26,387 --> 00:51:30,349
- So we take this snake...
- Jesus Christ! What the hell you doin'?!
674
00:51:30,432 --> 00:51:34,061
- You don't like snakes?
- I hate snakes! You know I hate snakes.
675
00:51:34,144 --> 00:51:38,273
- What are you gonna do? Kill her?
- It's just a rat snake. It's not poisonous.
676
00:52:05,592 --> 00:52:07,678
(laughter)
677
00:52:34,330 --> 00:52:40,336
(Balbricker)
♪ That old black magic has me in its spell
678
00:52:40,836 --> 00:52:46,550
♪ That old black magic that you weave so well
679
00:52:46,884 --> 00:52:51,013
- Are you sure this is the one, Billy?
- It's that one right there.
680
00:52:53,098 --> 00:52:55,184
- You're sure?
- Yeah.
681
00:52:56,477 --> 00:52:58,187
Here we go.
682
00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:00,814
♪ Aflame
683
00:53:00,981 --> 00:53:04,068
♪ With such a burning desire
684
00:53:04,151 --> 00:53:07,446
♪ That only your kiss, kiss, kiss
685
00:53:07,529 --> 00:53:10,157
♪ Can put out the fire
686
00:53:10,449 --> 00:53:15,079
- OK, Billy, gimme the snake.
- Give you the snake?
687
00:53:15,162 --> 00:53:17,998
Get your own fuckin' snake.
Give you the snake!
688
00:53:18,082 --> 00:53:20,668
- I've got your snake right here.
- Here.
689
00:53:20,751 --> 00:53:25,422
♪ Oh, you're the lover I have waited for
690
00:53:25,506 --> 00:53:31,762
♪ The mate that fate had me created for
691
00:53:31,845 --> 00:53:38,727
♪ And every time your lips meet mine
692
00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:41,605
Get it outta here! Get it outta here!
693
00:53:41,689 --> 00:53:46,527
- Put him in the goddamn hole!
- I want you to meet a friend of mine.
694
00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:51,365
OK, come on.
695
00:53:52,199 --> 00:53:54,368
♪ In a spin
696
00:53:54,493 --> 00:53:57,162
♪ Lovin' that spin I'm in
697
00:53:57,579 --> 00:54:03,377
♪ Under that old black magic called...
698
00:54:03,460 --> 00:54:07,381
♪ Love
699
00:54:07,464 --> 00:54:09,174
One more turn and we'll go.
700
00:54:09,258 --> 00:54:11,135
(gurgling)
701
00:54:14,847 --> 00:54:16,932
(gurgling)
702
00:54:24,940 --> 00:54:26,025
(hiss)
703
00:54:26,108 --> 00:54:28,193
(screams)
704
00:54:33,574 --> 00:54:36,076
(screaming)
705
00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:38,245
What in the world?
706
00:54:40,247 --> 00:54:42,291
(screaming)
707
00:54:46,128 --> 00:54:48,339
(whimpering)
708
00:54:48,422 --> 00:54:51,300
(screaming)
709
00:54:51,925 --> 00:54:54,428
No, it can't be. I fired them.
710
00:55:12,905 --> 00:55:14,448
Excuse me.
711
00:55:14,531 --> 00:55:16,617
(screaming)
712
00:55:19,244 --> 00:55:21,330
It's OK. Nothing to worry about.
713
00:55:22,706 --> 00:55:24,792
Just a little rat snake.
714
00:55:26,335 --> 00:55:27,795
No danger.
715
00:55:28,003 --> 00:55:30,255
No problem, Coach. I'll let him go outside.
716
00:55:30,339 --> 00:55:32,883
Quick thinking, Turner. Good job, son.
717
00:55:34,510 --> 00:55:36,387
Turner!
718
00:55:36,971 --> 00:55:39,181
Turner!
719
00:55:39,515 --> 00:55:41,225
Beautiful.
720
00:55:41,433 --> 00:55:43,519
- Hang on to that.
- Jesus!
721
00:55:44,186 --> 00:55:46,146
God dammit!
722
00:55:46,230 --> 00:55:48,899
Turner, I'm gonna kill you! God dammit.
723
00:55:49,525 --> 00:55:53,237
Turner!
724
00:55:53,612 --> 00:55:56,865
That's it. You're not gonna surrender to him.
725
00:55:56,949 --> 00:55:59,410
No Seminole ever surrendered!
726
00:55:59,493 --> 00:56:01,578
Go on! That's it!
727
00:56:01,662 --> 00:56:02,997
Go, go!
728
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:05,165
Oh, wait a minute. Wait!
729
00:56:05,249 --> 00:56:09,503
That's good acting when you wanna
kill each other, but don't, huh?
730
00:56:09,586 --> 00:56:11,964
I think Hamlet's supposed to win this one.
731
00:56:12,047 --> 00:56:14,425
- Sorry, I just got carried away.
- That's OK.
732
00:56:14,508 --> 00:56:16,385
(Carter) Oh, Mrs Morris.
733
00:56:16,468 --> 00:56:18,679
Mrs Morris.
734
00:56:18,762 --> 00:56:21,181
I must have a couple of words
with the students.
735
00:56:21,265 --> 00:56:25,144
- We're in the middle of a rehearsal.
- It's very important.
736
00:56:25,227 --> 00:56:28,272
All right, folks.
Let's get up here, please. Quickly.
737
00:56:28,355 --> 00:56:31,900
Let's move it.
Folks, may we have your attention?
738
00:56:31,984 --> 00:56:35,613
Mr Carter has a few words. Come on, now.
739
00:56:36,030 --> 00:56:40,784
Thank you. I don't like to have to say this,
but I don't want you to be too distressed...
740
00:56:40,868 --> 00:56:45,414
...because I'm quite sure
it can be resolved perfectly justly.
741
00:56:45,581 --> 00:56:49,251
As you know, certain uninformed
factions have attempted...
742
00:56:49,335 --> 00:56:52,921
...to halt our production
of the scenes from Shakespeare.
743
00:56:53,088 --> 00:56:57,259
They influenced the county commission
to address the school board...
744
00:56:57,343 --> 00:56:59,845
...and they have been granted a hearing.
745
00:56:59,928 --> 00:57:02,681
The superintendent of schools
has ordered me...
746
00:57:02,765 --> 00:57:06,560
...to temporarily suspend
this production, pending that hearing.
747
00:57:07,478 --> 00:57:10,314
I understand how you feel.
Now, please listen.
748
00:57:10,397 --> 00:57:12,733
That is what I am doing officially.
749
00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:17,905
However, there's absolutely nothing
to prevent you on you own...
750
00:57:17,988 --> 00:57:21,492
...continuing to practise as a class project.
751
00:57:21,575 --> 00:57:25,496
I assure you, we're going
to do everything we possibly can...
752
00:57:25,579 --> 00:57:29,041
...to put this "Evening with
Shakespeare" on the stage.
753
00:57:29,166 --> 00:57:31,669
Thank you, and what's the phrase?
754
00:57:31,752 --> 00:57:33,629
Break a leg!
755
00:57:33,712 --> 00:57:36,423
- What a mess.
- Those bastards.
756
00:57:36,507 --> 00:57:37,633
It's ridiculous.
757
00:57:37,716 --> 00:57:41,679
The commissioners are closing
Shakespeare because they think it's dirty?
758
00:57:41,762 --> 00:57:45,307
Those creeps watch skin flicks
every Saturday in the courthouse.
759
00:57:45,391 --> 00:57:48,435
- You're kidding!
- Commissioner Mason was caught...
760
00:57:48,519 --> 00:57:52,940
...exposing himself to his Bible school
class and they hushed it up.
761
00:57:53,023 --> 00:57:55,985
- Oh, God. How did you know that?
- Everybody knows that.
762
00:57:56,068 --> 00:57:58,696
- Well, don't worry about it.
- What do you mean?
763
00:57:58,779 --> 00:58:01,031
We got a friend in court, remember?
764
00:58:01,407 --> 00:58:04,326
- Yeah, Commissioner, uh...
- Geb-fart.
765
00:58:04,743 --> 00:58:07,830
God, I love this. I just love it.
766
00:58:09,748 --> 00:58:13,794
I can't tell you how great it makes me feel
to see you great American kids...
767
00:58:13,877 --> 00:58:15,754
...fighting for what you think is right.
768
00:58:15,838 --> 00:58:19,883
And there's no question about
what's right here. This is ridiculous.
769
00:58:19,967 --> 00:58:23,929
- But how can he do this?
- Well, he hasn't done anything yet.
770
00:58:24,013 --> 00:58:27,474
All he's done is petitioned
the school board for a hearing.
771
00:58:27,558 --> 00:58:31,186
- But they stopped the play.
- They haven't stopped anything yet.
772
00:58:31,270 --> 00:58:33,605
- You're still rehearsing.
- Yeah...
773
00:58:33,689 --> 00:58:34,732
Right.
774
00:58:34,815 --> 00:58:40,237
You don't understand the politics behind this.
This is the way it's gonna work.
775
00:58:40,321 --> 00:58:43,782
As you know, we've got an election
coming up in a couple of weeks.
776
00:58:43,866 --> 00:58:46,243
Flavel's got a few votes under his thumb...
777
00:58:46,327 --> 00:58:49,330
...enough to scare a couple
of my fellow commissioners.
778
00:58:49,413 --> 00:58:51,707
So, what's the easy thing to do?
779
00:58:51,790 --> 00:58:54,501
We make Flavel happy. So...
780
00:58:54,585 --> 00:58:58,422
So the commission makes Flavel happy
by taking it to the school board.
781
00:58:58,505 --> 00:59:01,925
Right. Now the school board's
not up for re-election...
782
00:59:02,009 --> 00:59:05,012
...so they turn the petition
down and you'll be happy.
783
00:59:05,095 --> 00:59:09,183
And the commission is
off the hook because... we tried.
784
00:59:12,144 --> 00:59:14,563
So how'd you get
the commissioners to go along?
785
00:59:14,647 --> 00:59:16,607
Old-fashioned horse trading.
786
00:59:16,815 --> 00:59:22,279
Some fellow commissioners have a re-zoning
project on the line, and I'm the swing vote.
787
00:59:22,363 --> 00:59:26,992
I really don't give a damn if they get
their re-zoning, but I can't let them know that.
788
00:59:27,076 --> 00:59:29,578
So I play hardball.
789
00:59:30,120 --> 00:59:32,790
If they want my swing vote,
they have to help me.
790
00:59:32,873 --> 00:59:37,336
It's like the hip bone connected to the
thigh bone, thigh bone to the ankle bone...
791
00:59:37,419 --> 00:59:42,299
- It sounds like dirty pool to me.
- (Gebhardt chuckles) Well...
792
00:59:42,925 --> 00:59:47,304
Well, now, little fella. Our great
American system is built on compromise.
793
00:59:47,388 --> 00:59:51,767
Everybody wants something. The trick is
to see that everybody gets a little piece.
794
00:59:51,850 --> 00:59:54,353
- You know what I mean?
- You bet he does.
795
00:59:56,355 --> 00:59:58,440
Now, you've got my word on this.
796
00:59:59,191 --> 01:00:03,112
I'm not gonna let some self-righteous
bullies deprive you of your play.
797
01:00:03,195 --> 01:00:06,156
Your principal is being notified right now...
798
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:11,495
...that the school board has okayed
the evening of Shakespeare.
799
01:00:11,578 --> 01:00:14,456
That's wonderful. Thank you very much.
800
01:00:15,124 --> 01:00:17,793
Well, you gotta do somethin'
for the little guy.
801
01:00:17,876 --> 01:00:21,588
Oh, Commissioner.
Your meeting in five minutes.
802
01:00:21,672 --> 01:00:23,382
- Ah.
- OK.
803
01:00:23,465 --> 01:00:27,011
You kids go put on a hell of a play.
804
01:00:27,720 --> 01:00:30,264
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
805
01:00:30,723 --> 01:00:34,727
- Maybe I'll get invited to the opening night?
- Front row, centre.
806
01:00:41,191 --> 01:00:43,277
- Great guy.
- Yeah, he's swell(!)
807
01:00:49,950 --> 01:00:51,702
What's that?
808
01:00:51,785 --> 01:00:55,664
Reverend Flavel's petition
to stop the Shakespeare festival.
809
01:00:55,748 --> 01:00:58,250
- Five thousand signatures.
- Five thousand?
810
01:00:58,334 --> 01:01:04,298
Yeah, and every one of them prepared to
vote against you if things don't go their way.
811
01:01:07,593 --> 01:01:09,678
Set up a meeting with Flavel.
812
01:01:10,679 --> 01:01:12,431
Right.
813
01:01:12,514 --> 01:01:14,600
I thought so.
814
01:01:22,024 --> 01:01:24,109
The Klan!
815
01:01:31,533 --> 01:01:35,371
- What's goin' on? What happened?
- There's no need for you now.
816
01:01:35,454 --> 01:01:38,332
- Wait a minute. We're his friends.
- I'm his brother.
817
01:01:38,415 --> 01:01:42,336
- You should have been here on time.
- My truck wouldn't start.
818
01:01:42,419 --> 01:01:46,715
John's always waited for us to get here
before he came out to the road.
819
01:01:46,799 --> 01:01:50,636
Leave him alone. It was John's mistake.
820
01:01:54,181 --> 01:01:57,017
- How badly is he hurt?
- Just his pride.
821
01:01:57,768 --> 01:01:59,937
They tried to shave his head.
822
01:02:00,020 --> 01:02:03,857
A white man's little joke.
But their day is coming.
823
01:02:06,527 --> 01:02:08,153
Whoa, buddy.
824
01:02:08,237 --> 01:02:10,656
Are you all right? You're sure, John?
825
01:02:12,992 --> 01:02:16,036
- I wanna go.
- (all) Let him go, man.
826
01:02:17,121 --> 01:02:18,789
All right, go.
827
01:02:19,290 --> 01:02:23,085
- That ought a stir 'em up.
- Yeah, they ought a turn tail now.
828
01:02:23,168 --> 01:02:25,629
(giggles)
829
01:02:25,713 --> 01:02:30,134
Look at them dirty redskins
attacking that poor, defenceless cross.
830
01:02:30,217 --> 01:02:31,552
(giggles)
831
01:02:31,635 --> 01:02:33,721
(drum roll)
832
01:02:37,224 --> 01:02:38,434
I will not yield...
833
01:02:38,517 --> 01:02:42,021
...To kiss the ground
beneath young Malcolm's feet.
834
01:02:42,104 --> 01:02:44,982
Though Birnam wood
be come to Dunsinane...
835
01:02:45,065 --> 01:02:47,985
...And thou oppos'd,
being of no woman born...
836
01:02:48,068 --> 01:02:50,529
...Yet I will try the last.
837
01:02:50,613 --> 01:02:52,698
Lay on, Macduff.
838
01:02:57,036 --> 01:03:01,040
And damned be he
that first cries "Hold, enough!"
839
01:03:32,196 --> 01:03:34,782
(laughter)
840
01:03:37,242 --> 01:03:39,495
- My sword broke.
- His sword broke!
841
01:03:39,662 --> 01:03:42,414
- A sword!
- A sword!
842
01:03:42,498 --> 01:03:45,209
His kingdom for a sword!
843
01:03:45,292 --> 01:03:48,087
Get him a sword!
844
01:03:48,170 --> 01:03:52,174
A sword! A sword, a sword, a sword!
845
01:03:52,257 --> 01:03:55,260
- (Brian) I don't have a sword.
- What do you mean?
846
01:03:55,344 --> 01:03:59,098
- (Brian) Just kill him. Kill him!
- With what?
847
01:04:01,475 --> 01:04:03,560
A sword! A sword!
848
01:04:04,395 --> 01:04:07,439
A sword! A sword!
849
01:04:09,066 --> 01:04:10,985
A sword!
850
01:04:11,235 --> 01:04:13,904
- Billy, I got a sword.
- A sword!
851
01:04:42,182 --> 01:04:44,268
(John yells)
852
01:04:50,441 --> 01:04:52,526
(Tommy) Stab him.
853
01:04:56,322 --> 01:04:58,282
Stab him!
854
01:04:58,365 --> 01:05:01,869
Just kill me, John. John! John!
855
01:05:01,952 --> 01:05:04,038
Aw, shit!
856
01:05:07,082 --> 01:05:08,208
Stab!
857
01:05:08,292 --> 01:05:11,086
Will you stab me? Just stick it in, John!
858
01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:20,429
(whistling)
859
01:05:24,850 --> 01:05:26,935
(laughter and cheering)
860
01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:48,165
(cackles)
861
01:05:51,543 --> 01:05:56,298
Now the hungry lion roars,
And the wolf be-howls the moon;
862
01:05:56,382 --> 01:06:01,470
As this heavy ploughman snores,
All the weary task for done.
863
01:06:02,930 --> 01:06:06,558
Now the wasted brands do glow...
864
01:06:06,642 --> 01:06:09,603
...Whilst the screech owl, screeching loud...
865
01:06:09,687 --> 01:06:13,148
...Does put the wretch that lies in woe
To the remembrance of a shroud.
866
01:06:21,573 --> 01:06:23,659
Flock! Follow.
867
01:06:26,996 --> 01:06:30,249
Not a mouse
Shall disturb this hallowed house:
868
01:06:30,332 --> 01:06:34,712
For I am sent with broom before,
To sweep the dust behind the door.
869
01:06:48,600 --> 01:06:51,937
If we have unearned luck
So to 'scape the serpent's tongue...
870
01:06:52,187 --> 01:06:56,066
...We will make amends ere long;
Or else Puck...
871
01:07:06,327 --> 01:07:10,581
- (Wendy) It's the cops!
- Whoa, what's this? What's goin' on here?
872
01:07:13,375 --> 01:07:15,878
I am the principal and I will take care of this.
873
01:07:15,961 --> 01:07:18,547
Ladies and gentlemen, one moment, please.
874
01:07:18,631 --> 01:07:22,551
These learned people, the Righteous Flock,
in their infinite wisdom...
875
01:07:22,635 --> 01:07:28,766
...have decreed that the works of William
Shakespeare, the pearl of English literature...
876
01:07:28,974 --> 01:07:34,355
...are unfit to be performed by our students
and too indecent to be viewed by you.
877
01:07:34,438 --> 01:07:36,065
(groans of protest)
878
01:07:36,148 --> 01:07:40,235
However... However,
my good friends, I assure you...
879
01:07:40,319 --> 01:07:42,529
...we have not yet begun to fight.
880
01:07:44,615 --> 01:07:46,700
Thank you. Thank you.
881
01:07:48,118 --> 01:07:49,411
Thank you!
882
01:07:49,912 --> 01:07:51,997
Good night. Good night...
883
01:07:52,081 --> 01:07:55,459
...and we'll see you all again... very soon.
884
01:08:01,840 --> 01:08:05,135
- Who do you think you're talkin' to?
- A hypocrite.
885
01:08:05,219 --> 01:08:07,638
You care nothing about matters of the spirit.
886
01:08:07,721 --> 01:08:10,849
You just wanna control
other people's lives, you fascist!
887
01:08:11,016 --> 01:08:15,980
We have dealt with the filth. I can see we will
now have to deal with the purveyors of filth.
888
01:08:16,063 --> 01:08:19,775
- Hey, deal with this.
- You whelp of Satan!
889
01:08:19,858 --> 01:08:23,862
No one speaks to me that way.
You better get a grip on yourself, boy.
890
01:08:32,121 --> 01:08:34,331
Bye, Reverend.
891
01:08:34,415 --> 01:08:37,543
Anthony, that wasn't entirely helpful.
892
01:08:38,377 --> 01:08:40,462
(applause)
893
01:08:40,754 --> 01:08:43,465
Now, as I say, we have a warrant here...
894
01:08:43,549 --> 01:08:46,427
...charging the Angel Beach High
drama club...
895
01:08:46,510 --> 01:08:50,556
...with public presentation
of obscene material.
896
01:08:51,223 --> 01:08:56,020
Of course, we have no need to press
this warrant. That was never our intent.
897
01:08:56,103 --> 01:08:58,731
These innocent children aren't to blame.
898
01:08:58,814 --> 01:09:02,109
- Do you believe this guy?
- He's a deeply religious man(!)
899
01:09:02,192 --> 01:09:04,403
Yeah, and rich.
900
01:09:04,612 --> 01:09:08,365
We were the voice cryin' in the wilderness.
901
01:09:08,449 --> 01:09:11,410
And we were heard by the mayor...
902
01:09:11,493 --> 01:09:16,498
...and the God-fearin' members of the county
commission, who voted unanimously...
903
01:09:16,582 --> 01:09:19,335
...to bring this corruption to a halt.
904
01:09:19,418 --> 01:09:22,796
(reporter) Does your warrant
apply to all plays by the drama club?
905
01:09:22,880 --> 01:09:26,342
(Flavel) My warrant applies
to all plays by any drama club...
906
01:09:26,425 --> 01:09:28,469
That lousy son of a bitch.
907
01:09:28,552 --> 01:09:31,722
Gebhardt's leg bone got connected
to Flavel's foot bone.
908
01:09:31,805 --> 01:09:35,059
And they both got shoved up our asses.
I knew it.
909
01:09:35,142 --> 01:09:37,686
Fellow Americans! Fellow Americans...
910
01:09:37,770 --> 01:09:41,023
The Righteous Flock denounces you.
You have no part in this.
911
01:09:41,106 --> 01:09:44,693
The God-fearin' members
of the Klan support this action.
912
01:09:46,028 --> 01:09:49,531
The mixin' of nigger
and Injun blood must stop.
913
01:09:49,615 --> 01:09:52,284
- God, I think I'm gonna puke.
- Me too.
914
01:09:52,368 --> 01:09:55,079
...mustn't stand for this.
- Get out of here!
915
01:09:55,162 --> 01:10:00,167
- The Righteous Flock denounces this...
- Sister, please!
916
01:10:00,250 --> 01:10:06,340
Friends, tomorrow night there will be
a giant rally here at Angel Beach...
917
01:10:06,423 --> 01:10:11,345
...to announce future steps
we will take to preserve moral decency.
918
01:10:12,137 --> 01:10:14,723
Amen! Amen, brother!
919
01:10:14,807 --> 01:10:17,601
The Loyal Order of the Klan will be there!
920
01:10:18,560 --> 01:10:22,856
- Here comes the son of a bitch.
- Pretend you understand why he did it.
921
01:10:22,940 --> 01:10:26,193
- What are you talkin' about?
- Just do it! I'll explain later.
922
01:10:26,277 --> 01:10:30,406
- This is exhausting!
- All tuckered out from playin' hardball?
923
01:10:32,533 --> 01:10:36,662
I was afraid you were gonna misunderstand.
I had to make a tactical retreat.
924
01:10:36,745 --> 01:10:39,665
If I'd hung in there,
you'd have no friend in court.
925
01:10:40,124 --> 01:10:43,085
Friend in court? Gee, that has a familiar ring.
926
01:10:43,335 --> 01:10:45,421
I said "retreat", not "surrender".
927
01:10:45,504 --> 01:10:48,841
He's a fanatic. Give him two weeks,
he's gonna bury himself.
928
01:10:48,924 --> 01:10:51,427
- Right after the election, hm?
- Yeah.
929
01:10:51,510 --> 01:10:55,472
Apparently you don't believe me,
but I was working in your best interests.
930
01:10:55,556 --> 01:10:59,810
Look, votes don't mean a thing to me
if I can't maintain my own integrity.
931
01:10:59,893 --> 01:11:02,730
Look, we understand.
It's not the end of the world.
932
01:11:02,813 --> 01:11:05,441
Everybody's just a little disappointed.
933
01:11:05,524 --> 01:11:07,610
I know. I understand. I know.
934
01:11:07,693 --> 01:11:12,031
Wendy, let me talk to you. I want to
explain what it is I'm trying to accomplish...
935
01:11:12,114 --> 01:11:15,743
...then you can relay it to the fellas. OK?
- OK.
936
01:11:17,161 --> 01:11:19,330
I know what he's trying to accomplish.
937
01:11:19,455 --> 01:11:23,125
Mrs Balbricker, be silent!
I have spoken on this matter.
938
01:11:23,208 --> 01:11:26,003
What is at stake justifies
anything we have to do.
939
01:11:26,086 --> 01:11:30,174
Well, then, I won't be there. It's indecent.
940
01:11:30,799 --> 01:11:34,345
Remember, he who is not
with me is against me.
941
01:11:34,428 --> 01:11:36,513
Bubba!
942
01:11:38,432 --> 01:11:40,517
(man) Tell us, Reverend.
943
01:11:41,310 --> 01:11:45,356
Friends, it's OK. It's all right.
Don't forget tomorrow night.
944
01:11:52,071 --> 01:11:55,324
- This is more fun than puttin' on a play.
- Bite your tongue.
945
01:11:55,407 --> 01:11:58,202
OK, guys. What are we gonna do?
946
01:11:59,620 --> 01:12:03,415
Well, I think for once we should
be thoughtful, mature and adult.
947
01:12:03,499 --> 01:12:06,293
- (sniggering)
- No, no. Tommy's right.
948
01:12:06,752 --> 01:12:10,923
We got a problem. It's time we grew up
and we solved it in an adult manner.
949
01:12:11,006 --> 01:12:13,050
Right. Let's go right to the top.
950
01:12:13,133 --> 01:12:18,138
What would Eisenhower do if the Russians
behaved as the Righteous Flock has?
951
01:12:18,222 --> 01:12:22,059
- Cut the fuckers' nuts off.
- Right.
952
01:12:22,142 --> 01:12:25,271
- Any more questions?
- Not a one.
953
01:12:25,980 --> 01:12:29,024
- Let's get backstage for battle plans.
- Yeah.
954
01:12:32,820 --> 01:12:35,322
- (Tommy) And him too!
- I don't like him.
955
01:12:35,406 --> 01:12:38,325
- What did he have to say?
- Nothing much.
956
01:12:38,450 --> 01:12:41,495
- He's takin' me to dinner.
- Whoa, whoa. Dinner?
957
01:12:41,578 --> 01:12:45,249
He's takin' me to a nice,
discreet restaurant down in Miami.
958
01:12:45,332 --> 01:12:49,128
- What are you up to?
- Revenge. What are you up to?
959
01:12:49,211 --> 01:12:52,881
- Sounds good to me.
- Yeah, but this time no explosives.
960
01:12:52,965 --> 01:12:55,301
- I don't get it.
- Nobody tells me nothin'.
961
01:12:55,551 --> 01:12:59,555
Commissioner. Commissioner,
you're takin' that kid to dinner?
962
01:12:59,638 --> 01:13:02,266
Just gonna put another notch
in my six-shooter.
963
01:13:02,349 --> 01:13:05,269
For God's sake, we have
an election in just over a week.
964
01:13:05,352 --> 01:13:08,272
Don't worry.
I'm takin' her all the way to Miami.
965
01:13:08,355 --> 01:13:11,233
But, Commissioner, she is only 17 years old.
966
01:13:11,317 --> 01:13:14,486
Oh, yeah? Then I'll only put
half a notch in my gun.
967
01:13:45,684 --> 01:13:50,105
- I hope this is better than the last one.
- At least we can see this one.
968
01:13:50,230 --> 01:13:52,608
Wow! Look at that fancy costume!
969
01:13:52,691 --> 01:13:56,570
That guy's wearing argyle socks.
Must be a high-budget job.
970
01:13:56,654 --> 01:14:00,240
This director must be
the Cecil B De Mille of pussy film.
971
01:14:01,283 --> 01:14:03,369
Man, that woman is ugly.
972
01:14:03,452 --> 01:14:05,621
Hose her down, boy! Hose her down.
973
01:14:06,372 --> 01:14:09,333
Whoo whoopee! Look at them tits.
974
01:14:10,209 --> 01:14:13,629
Holy shit!
Look at the dick on that son of a bitch!
975
01:14:13,712 --> 01:14:15,422
(laughter)
976
01:14:15,506 --> 01:14:18,384
Mayor, that guy's dork is bigger than yours.
977
01:14:19,510 --> 01:14:24,598
Hey, mayor! If you had a cape like that,
you could give your secretary a flyin' fuck.
978
01:14:25,474 --> 01:14:28,310
- Look at that snatch!
- (laughter)
979
01:14:28,394 --> 01:14:31,480
Did Reverend Flavel approve of this one?
980
01:14:31,563 --> 01:14:35,067
Approve of it?
Are you shittin'me? He gave me this one!
981
01:14:38,654 --> 01:14:40,864
(guy #1) That stuff looks like diarrhoea.
982
01:14:40,948 --> 01:14:43,033
(guy #2) Only worse.
983
01:14:45,452 --> 01:14:48,747
(French accent)
And now, for the grand experiment.
984
01:14:48,831 --> 01:14:50,916
Oh, no. Oh, no.
985
01:14:51,875 --> 01:14:55,421
Wait a minute.
As you know, I am the barf inspector.
986
01:14:55,504 --> 01:14:58,048
I gotta make sure
it has exactly the right plop.
987
01:14:58,132 --> 01:15:01,135
Barf inspector comin' through!
Excuse me. Careful.
988
01:15:01,218 --> 01:15:05,139
- This couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
- X marks the spot. Let her rip!
989
01:15:05,723 --> 01:15:08,058
Bleuugh!
990
01:15:09,393 --> 01:15:13,522
- Right in the eye. OK, more corn.
- Corn. Corn. Corn.
991
01:15:15,274 --> 01:15:17,401
Corn, corn, corn.
992
01:15:28,537 --> 01:15:32,666
Please, madame.
At La Fontana di Voglio, everyone waits.
993
01:15:32,750 --> 01:15:36,420
Please, to the back of the line.
Merci, thank you very much.
994
01:15:36,503 --> 01:15:38,797
- Ah, Monsieur Gebhardt.
- Alex.
995
01:15:38,881 --> 01:15:40,966
How good to see you, monsieur.
996
01:15:41,634 --> 01:15:44,720
We are expecting a guest
this evening, I presume?
997
01:15:44,803 --> 01:15:46,889
You presume correctly.
998
01:15:46,972 --> 01:15:51,185
And at what time is your sister arriving?
Or is it your cousin this time?
999
01:15:51,268 --> 01:15:57,358
- Actually, this one's more like my niece.
- (laughs) But of course, monsieur. Of course.
1000
01:16:00,527 --> 01:16:02,613
Du vin?
1001
01:16:16,335 --> 01:16:19,213
(♪ crowd sings "Onward Christian Soldiers")
1002
01:16:24,969 --> 01:16:27,471
- Is everything all set?
- All set.
1003
01:16:27,554 --> 01:16:29,848
- This is gonna be good.
- Go get 'em, Billy.
1004
01:16:29,932 --> 01:16:32,267
- Is my hood on straight?
- Can you see?
1005
01:16:32,351 --> 01:16:35,854
- Yeah.
- Then your hood's on straight, stupid!
1006
01:16:35,938 --> 01:16:38,107
Everybody's a fuckin' comedian.
1007
01:16:38,232 --> 01:16:41,318
- They ought a be here soon.
- I'm goin' down the road.
1008
01:16:41,402 --> 01:16:43,487
You be careful!
1009
01:17:00,546 --> 01:17:04,133
Where the hell are they? They sh...
1010
01:17:04,216 --> 01:17:06,510
Oh. OK, guys, be careful.
1011
01:17:09,972 --> 01:17:11,849
Where's Mickey?
1012
01:17:15,894 --> 01:17:18,105
Where the hell is he?
1013
01:17:19,898 --> 01:17:23,152
- Hey, you Klan pricks!
- OK, guys. Let's go.
1014
01:17:23,235 --> 01:17:28,157
Yeah, you. Why don't you boys go on home
and choke your chicken and beat your kids?
1015
01:17:28,240 --> 01:17:30,784
(Mickey) That's your speed.
1016
01:17:30,868 --> 01:17:33,662
Excuse me. Have you met my friend Meat?
1017
01:17:33,746 --> 01:17:39,126
Go screw your wives! You'll have to wake 'em
up and tell 'em what you're doin', though.
1018
01:17:39,209 --> 01:17:43,297
(Billy with redneck accent)
Forget him. Let's get to the meetin'.
1019
01:17:56,060 --> 01:17:58,854
Hey, where you goin'? The rally's this way.
1020
01:18:01,398 --> 01:18:03,484
Shortcut.
1021
01:18:16,580 --> 01:18:19,291
(Klansman) What the hell is goin' on here?
1022
01:18:25,923 --> 01:18:28,133
(Tommy) Evenin', boys.
1023
01:18:28,217 --> 01:18:30,302
- Howdy.
- Welcome, fellas.
1024
01:18:31,136 --> 01:18:33,555
We thought you might like to meet our friend.
1025
01:18:33,639 --> 01:18:36,100
Say what?
1026
01:18:38,894 --> 01:18:41,772
- Yeah, I remember him.
- (laughter)
1027
01:18:41,855 --> 01:18:45,442
You... You did a mighty
fine job on him, Eustace!
1028
01:18:46,318 --> 01:18:49,446
The stingy little fucker wouldn't leave no tip.
1029
01:18:51,115 --> 01:18:54,493
Well, now, in lieu of a tip,
why don't we just return the favour?
1030
01:18:54,994 --> 01:18:57,788
Louisville tit? What did he say?
1031
01:18:57,871 --> 01:19:01,208
- What did you say, boy?
- Why don't we give you a trim?
1032
01:19:01,333 --> 01:19:04,795
Oh, you snotnoses are gonna give us a trim?
1033
01:19:08,716 --> 01:19:12,219
- Us and a few of our friends.
- A few of these friends here.
1034
01:19:17,349 --> 01:19:21,937
Well, you better bring the army, boy.
Bring the whole fuckin' US cavalry.
1035
01:19:22,229 --> 01:19:25,399
Actually, we had something
slightly different in mind.
1036
01:19:25,482 --> 01:19:27,651
- Oh, yeah?
- Oh, yeah.
1037
01:19:32,948 --> 01:19:36,744
Aw, shit! They're all fuckin' Indians.
1038
01:19:39,955 --> 01:19:43,375
Aw, shit. Oh, that's a lot of Injuns.
1039
01:19:46,962 --> 01:19:49,840
They ain't happy. These Injuns ain't happy.
1040
01:19:50,883 --> 01:19:53,427
Well, now. Don't be shy.
1041
01:19:54,011 --> 01:19:56,096
Excuse me.
1042
01:19:56,889 --> 01:19:58,724
Hi.
1043
01:19:58,807 --> 01:20:01,101
In view of your status in the community...
1044
01:20:01,185 --> 01:20:04,438
...we've imported a special
gentleman to give you your clip.
1045
01:20:04,521 --> 01:20:07,066
- Allow me.
- I'd like you to meet Brian Schwartz.
1046
01:20:07,149 --> 01:20:09,234
He's Jewish. He's our mohel for the day.
1047
01:20:09,318 --> 01:20:13,614
What, you may ask, is a mohel?
Good question. A mohel is a Jewish barber.
1048
01:20:14,323 --> 01:20:17,242
- But not exactly.
- Ask him what a mohel is exactly.
1049
01:20:17,326 --> 01:20:20,537
- Come on!
- Go on, ask him.
1050
01:20:20,621 --> 01:20:23,749
- What in hell's a mohel?
- I thought you would never ask.
1051
01:20:23,832 --> 01:20:26,669
Do you remember when you had your bris?
1052
01:20:26,752 --> 01:20:29,630
Probably a barbecue and a bris in your case.
1053
01:20:29,797 --> 01:20:32,675
- Go on, ask him what a bris is.
- What in the fuck is a bris?
1054
01:20:32,758 --> 01:20:35,678
Good question.
Well, a bris is a circumcision...
1055
01:20:35,761 --> 01:20:39,098
...and a mohel is a man
who performs a bris or circumcision.
1056
01:20:39,181 --> 01:20:42,685
And this instrument is a zemel.
1057
01:20:43,185 --> 01:20:47,356
And a zemel is used
by a mohel to perform the... bris.
1058
01:20:49,566 --> 01:20:51,485
- Would you hold that?
- Absolutely.
1059
01:20:51,568 --> 01:20:56,365
Now, this zemel has been used to chop
off literally hundreds of foreskins.
1060
01:20:56,448 --> 01:20:58,284
- Hundreds.
- Amen.
1061
01:20:58,367 --> 01:21:01,829
What better to shave the heads
of a bunch of pricks like you?
1062
01:21:02,871 --> 01:21:06,375
- The fuck you will!
- That's it. That...
1063
01:21:14,842 --> 01:21:17,594
(Klansman) Sit down, Ansell. Sit down.
1064
01:21:21,098 --> 01:21:23,309
Line up, boys.
1065
01:21:23,392 --> 01:21:26,312
Say, now. This is gettin'
out of hand here, boys.
1066
01:21:26,395 --> 01:21:29,607
Let's talk this over, OK?
I tell you what we're gonna do.
1067
01:21:30,649 --> 01:21:33,027
We're gonna let you off this time, OK?
1068
01:21:33,110 --> 01:21:37,573
You're gonna get out of here and we don't
wanna see you around here no more.
1069
01:21:37,656 --> 01:21:40,326
- That a deal?
- Yeah, now that's fair, ain't it?
1070
01:21:40,409 --> 01:21:42,494
You gotta admit, that is fair.
1071
01:21:43,287 --> 01:21:45,247
(all) Naaah.
1072
01:21:45,331 --> 01:21:46,749
Line up, boys.
1073
01:21:46,832 --> 01:21:51,462
We'll most certainly have
to retire this zemel after this job.
1074
01:21:58,469 --> 01:22:00,554
(car backfires)
1075
01:22:21,659 --> 01:22:23,744
(liquid gurgles)
1076
01:22:25,621 --> 01:22:28,582
- Madame, we'll wait.
- That will be grand.
1077
01:22:43,806 --> 01:22:46,892
You sly devil. I just can't stand it.
1078
01:22:47,268 --> 01:22:50,437
I'll have you know
I'm the guest of Big Bobby Gebhardt...
1079
01:22:50,521 --> 01:22:53,357
...County Commissioner of Seward County.
1080
01:22:53,440 --> 01:22:56,986
- You better take me to his table pronto.
- What is the problem?
1081
01:22:57,319 --> 01:23:00,823
I happen to be the guest
of Big Bob Gebhardt...
1082
01:23:00,906 --> 01:23:04,785
...County Commissioner
of Seward County, and a very big deal.
1083
01:23:04,868 --> 01:23:07,621
You better take me to his table pronto.
1084
01:23:07,913 --> 01:23:12,209
- Are you sure it's Commissioner Gebhardt?
- Move it, dildo breath!
1085
01:23:13,669 --> 01:23:18,716
Giddyup! Yee-haa.
Whoa, what an ass! Va va va voom.
1086
01:23:20,009 --> 01:23:23,846
♪ Bobby! Oh, Bobby!
1087
01:23:23,929 --> 01:23:27,850
♪ Little Bobby Gebhardt, where are you?
1088
01:23:28,309 --> 01:23:32,521
♪ It's your little snatchy-poo
1089
01:23:33,147 --> 01:23:37,651
What are you waitin' around for?
Roll 'em out! Git along, little dogies.
1090
01:23:37,735 --> 01:23:41,363
Whoa! We're here, jackass!
1091
01:23:43,866 --> 01:23:46,744
Bobby. Baby.
1092
01:23:50,917 --> 01:23:52,961
- Oh, my God.
- (Wendy shrieks)
1093
01:23:53,045 --> 01:23:55,714
Ai-ai-ai!
1094
01:23:57,049 --> 01:23:59,926
What... What are you doin'? Are you crazy?
1095
01:24:00,010 --> 01:24:02,137
I'm crazy for you, you big horse.
1096
01:24:02,220 --> 01:24:04,306
I want a drink. Gar-con!
1097
01:24:05,557 --> 01:24:08,518
Gar-con! What's the matter?
Don't you speak French?
1098
01:24:08,602 --> 01:24:09,895
Yeah. Oui, oui.
1099
01:24:09,978 --> 01:24:14,733
Well, get me a drink. It's my birthday today.
1100
01:24:15,150 --> 01:24:17,235
I'm 17 today.
1101
01:24:18,028 --> 01:24:20,739
Golly, 17!
1102
01:24:20,822 --> 01:24:22,616
(whispers) Don't say 17.
1103
01:24:22,824 --> 01:24:25,827
Sweet 17 and never been kissed.
1104
01:24:27,245 --> 01:24:29,748
That kid is, uh, 23. 20.
1105
01:24:29,831 --> 01:24:32,167
Where does the time go?
1106
01:24:32,250 --> 01:24:37,172
Why, do you realise
I was only 14 when we first met?
1107
01:24:37,547 --> 01:24:40,592
I don't know her. Isn't this crazy?
1108
01:24:40,842 --> 01:24:46,640
It was so romantic. I was a Brownie
in his wife's Girl Scout troop.
1109
01:24:47,099 --> 01:24:50,769
- You swine!
- (Wendy) Gimme a Shirley Temple.
1110
01:24:56,566 --> 01:24:58,443
It's my niece. She does it all the time.
1111
01:24:58,527 --> 01:25:01,822
You should have seen her
last year at the Elks Club.
1112
01:25:02,572 --> 01:25:07,244
Hey, what are you doin' with my boa?
Are you some kind of sickie? Pervert!
1113
01:25:10,289 --> 01:25:12,374
Very cute. Well, I'm leaving.
1114
01:25:12,541 --> 01:25:14,835
Get out of that chair and I'll yell "rape".
1115
01:25:14,918 --> 01:25:17,087
- You'll what?
- I'll yell "rape".
1116
01:25:18,213 --> 01:25:20,299
You're bluffing.
1117
01:25:23,760 --> 01:25:26,430
(screeches) Rape! Rape!
1118
01:25:26,930 --> 01:25:31,018
Oh, Bobby, don't leave me.
I can't have our baby alone.
1119
01:25:35,814 --> 01:25:39,151
My daughter's so funny. She's just wild.
1120
01:25:40,777 --> 01:25:44,656
How's that grab you?
Now sit there and take your medicine.
1121
01:25:45,449 --> 01:25:47,618
She never stops. She's so wicked.
1122
01:25:47,826 --> 01:25:50,579
(♪ Crowd sings
"Stand Up, Stand Up For Jesus")
1123
01:25:50,704 --> 01:25:53,290
(Flavel)
Yes, that's it. That's right, brother.
1124
01:25:53,373 --> 01:25:56,585
Let's all stand up for Jesus.
1125
01:25:56,668 --> 01:26:00,631
♪ Till every foe is vanquished
1126
01:26:00,714 --> 01:26:04,551
♪ And Christ is Lord indeed
1127
01:26:04,635 --> 01:26:09,056
♪ Stand up, stand up for Jesus
1128
01:26:09,139 --> 01:26:13,226
♪ Ye soldiers of the cross
1129
01:26:13,310 --> 01:26:17,648
♪ Lift high his royal banner
1130
01:26:17,731 --> 01:26:22,110
♪ It must not suffer loss
1131
01:26:22,277 --> 01:26:26,823
♪ From victory unto victory
1132
01:26:26,907 --> 01:26:31,119
♪ His army shall he lead
1133
01:26:31,203 --> 01:26:35,749
♪ Till every foe is vanquished
1134
01:26:36,041 --> 01:26:40,629
♪ And Christ is Lord indeed
1135
01:26:40,712 --> 01:26:44,841
Thank you, brothers,
for that inspirational hymn about Jesus.
1136
01:26:46,051 --> 01:26:48,387
And now, friends, as I was say...
1137
01:26:56,770 --> 01:26:59,189
As I was sayin'...
1138
01:27:09,074 --> 01:27:10,951
(screaming)
1139
01:27:11,034 --> 01:27:12,869
Good Lord.
1140
01:27:17,916 --> 01:27:20,168
- Is this part of the show?
- I don't know.
1141
01:27:24,089 --> 01:27:25,716
(laughter)
1142
01:27:26,466 --> 01:27:30,554
- What a bunch of assholes.
- Do you recognise any of them?
1143
01:27:30,637 --> 01:27:33,765
Hold it! Hold, I say.
1144
01:27:33,849 --> 01:27:35,976
Stand, I say.
1145
01:27:36,935 --> 01:27:41,315
Behold, the spawn of Satan.
1146
01:27:42,357 --> 01:27:45,402
The bowels of perdition.
1147
01:27:45,902 --> 01:27:51,158
- Hear my words. I speak salvation.
- Right, get ready.
1148
01:27:51,491 --> 01:27:54,328
- I speak redemption.
- Now!
1149
01:27:55,495 --> 01:27:58,332
Verily I say this to thee.
1150
01:27:58,415 --> 01:28:02,878
(commissioner on tape) Holy shit!
Look at the dick on that son of a bitch!
1151
01:28:02,961 --> 01:28:04,004
(laughs)
1152
01:28:08,592 --> 01:28:11,928
Mayor, that guy's dork is bigger than yours.
1153
01:28:12,929 --> 01:28:18,936
Hey, mayor! If you had a cape like that,
you could give your secretary a flyin'fuck.
1154
01:28:19,853 --> 01:28:23,857
- Look at that snatch!
- Oh, mother.
1155
01:28:27,194 --> 01:28:32,157
- Did Reverend Flavel approve of this one?
- You scum!
1156
01:28:32,240 --> 01:28:35,577
Approve?
Hell, Reverend Flavel gave me this one!
1157
01:28:36,536 --> 01:28:39,122
I can explain it to you. Let me tell you.
1158
01:28:39,206 --> 01:28:41,291
(crowd jeers)
1159
01:28:44,419 --> 01:28:47,965
It's all right. I swear it's gonna be OK.
1160
01:28:48,173 --> 01:28:51,468
It's the goddamn communist...
(words are drowned out)
1161
01:28:54,554 --> 01:28:58,433
Those sons of bitches...
You son of a bitch! You get out of here.
1162
01:28:59,017 --> 01:29:03,272
I told you to get out!
I tell ya, it's gonna be OK.
1163
01:29:03,855 --> 01:29:06,733
Awwww, shit!
1164
01:29:33,010 --> 01:29:35,095
God, I needed that.
1165
01:29:36,847 --> 01:29:41,059
Oh, don't worry.
Commissioner Gebhardt'll pay for it.
1166
01:29:41,184 --> 01:29:44,521
He's county commissioner
of Seward County, for piss sakes.
1167
01:29:46,148 --> 01:29:50,736
You don't think he's gonna stick ya
for a 50-cent drink, for piss sakes?
1168
01:29:51,737 --> 01:29:54,072
Hey, waiter!
1169
01:29:54,990 --> 01:29:57,492
Hey, waiter!
1170
01:29:57,993 --> 01:30:00,078
Hey, waiter.
1171
01:30:00,162 --> 01:30:04,041
Put shit face's drink here
on Commissioner Gebhardt's bill.
1172
01:30:04,916 --> 01:30:07,961
For piss sakes, he's up
for re-election in two weeks.
1173
01:30:08,045 --> 01:30:10,422
Do you think he needs this shit?
1174
01:30:12,549 --> 01:30:17,137
- She's crazy.
- Your ass sucks canal water, buddy.
1175
01:30:19,222 --> 01:30:23,018
Oh, there's my Shirley Temple.
1176
01:30:23,101 --> 01:30:25,812
Hey, where's my cherry?
1177
01:30:26,605 --> 01:30:28,690
Who got my cherry?
1178
01:30:29,149 --> 01:30:32,361
Bobby. Bob, Bob, Bobby.
1179
01:30:32,736 --> 01:30:35,364
Bobby! Bobby!
1180
01:30:36,073 --> 01:30:38,909
Bobby, I lost my cherry.
1181
01:30:40,452 --> 01:30:42,412
Bobby...
1182
01:30:42,496 --> 01:30:46,083
...did you get my cherry again?
1183
01:30:46,166 --> 01:30:48,835
You saucy little devil.
1184
01:30:48,919 --> 01:30:52,214
You can't get a girl's cherry twice.
1185
01:30:52,297 --> 01:30:54,758
You sly goose.
1186
01:30:55,676 --> 01:30:57,761
(screams)
1187
01:31:11,400 --> 01:31:13,902
Oh, my God.
1188
01:31:21,868 --> 01:31:24,454
Oh, Bobby... Bobby!
1189
01:31:25,163 --> 01:31:28,917
Bobby, I think I'm gonna be... sick.
1190
01:31:29,376 --> 01:31:31,461
Don't be sick.
1191
01:31:33,088 --> 01:31:35,424
Bobby, I am. I'm gonna be...
1192
01:31:38,385 --> 01:31:41,471
Not the pool. No, not the pool.
1193
01:31:55,235 --> 01:31:57,946
Back to Howard Johnson's.
1194
01:32:35,150 --> 01:32:37,945
Boy, it sure tastes better goin' down.
1195
01:32:40,072 --> 01:32:42,574
Well, I feel better now.
1196
01:32:43,867 --> 01:32:45,869
Bye.
1197
01:32:46,328 --> 01:32:48,413
Oh, my bag.
1198
01:32:51,541 --> 01:32:53,877
Well, farewell!
1199
01:32:56,880 --> 01:32:58,966
Ben, what's goin' on?
1200
01:33:02,636 --> 01:33:05,931
I will sue you!
You will not have a pot to piss in!
1201
01:33:06,014 --> 01:33:08,100
Look!
1202
01:33:09,685 --> 01:33:11,603
(yells)
1203
01:33:12,896 --> 01:33:14,982
(air wheezes out)
1204
01:33:16,024 --> 01:33:20,028
My tit! You broke my tit!
1205
01:33:20,195 --> 01:33:23,740
I'm gonna sue you! Where are my lawyers?
1206
01:33:24,741 --> 01:33:29,496
- Come on, boys. Pictures! I want pictures!
- Say "I'm ruined".
1207
01:33:29,788 --> 01:33:33,917
- Oh, shit.
- Another one. More pictures. This is nice.
1208
01:33:39,881 --> 01:33:42,718
Good luck in the election.
I'll see you at the polls.
1209
01:33:42,801 --> 01:33:46,096
This is the most disgusting display
I have ever seen.
1210
01:33:46,179 --> 01:33:48,682
(as Bette Davis) What a dump! We're leaving.
1211
01:33:51,143 --> 01:33:53,770
♪ We're off to see the Wizard
1212
01:33:53,854 --> 01:33:55,480
♪ The wonderful Wizard of Oz
1213
01:33:55,564 --> 01:33:57,274
♪ Because, because, because
1214
01:33:57,357 --> 01:33:59,276
♪ Because of the wonderful things he does
1215
01:34:00,569 --> 01:34:02,779
♪ We're off to see the Wizard...
1216
01:34:29,306 --> 01:34:31,308
(♪ brass band music)
1217
01:35:21,525 --> 01:35:26,113
- Good luck in the election, Commissioner.
- Let me discuss the issues with you.
1218
01:35:26,196 --> 01:35:29,074
- Commissioner Couch. Republican.
- Yeah.
1219
01:35:29,157 --> 01:35:30,993
Good luck in the elections.
1220
01:35:32,828 --> 01:35:36,623
Wait! Wait, don't go. Stop! Stop.
1221
01:35:36,748 --> 01:35:39,376
Stop. Now, don't go. Wait! Wait!
1222
01:35:39,584 --> 01:35:42,546
Stop. Stop. Stop!
1223
01:35:44,631 --> 01:35:46,717
April Fool!
1224
01:36:08,113 --> 01:36:13,327
What the hell are you hittin' me for?
Lady, I'm warnin' you. Don't hit me no more...
1225
01:36:16,121 --> 01:36:18,206
Well, I warned you.
1226
01:36:18,790 --> 01:36:23,337
Don't just lie there all spread-eagled
like that. It looks obscene.
1227
01:36:37,184 --> 01:36:39,269
(♪ Music continues)
1228
01:36:56,119 --> 01:36:59,873
You are a disgrace to the profession.
1229
01:36:59,957 --> 01:37:04,294
You are... je ne sais quoi,
uh... relieved of duty.
1230
01:37:04,378 --> 01:37:09,132
I am the new maitre de La Fontana di Voglio.
1231
01:37:30,696 --> 01:37:33,282
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