Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:50,179 --> 00:00:53,349
For Hundreds of years in Japan
there has lived a clan...
2
00:00:53,599 --> 00:00:57,519
...who have dedicated themselves to
to a secret art of self-defence
3
00:00:57,779 --> 00:00:59,569
...and survival.
4
00:01:01,239 --> 00:01:05,979
The art is so lethal that
it has made the clan invincible.
5
00:01:06,239 --> 00:01:09,239
To this day, we are known as...
6
00:01:09,449 --> 00:01:11,079
...ninjas.
7
00:01:11,909 --> 00:01:13,989
Twenty-five years ago...
8
00:01:14,209 --> 00:01:17,619
...an ancient legend
of this sacred art came alive.
9
00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:22,329
It spoke of a foreign child
who would come among us...
10
00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:26,709
...and become a ninja master
like none other.
11
00:01:35,479 --> 00:01:37,849
How he arrived on our shores...
12
00:01:38,059 --> 00:01:40,819
...will forever remain a mystery.
13
00:02:02,549 --> 00:02:04,999
We ninjas thought that this child...
14
00:02:05,219 --> 00:02:09,169
...would be the Great White Ninja
of the legend.
15
00:02:14,059 --> 00:02:15,519
We were wrong.
16
00:02:20,769 --> 00:02:23,229
We were very wrong.
17
00:02:30,659 --> 00:02:31,689
Haru!
18
00:03:58,369 --> 00:03:59,399
Haru.
19
00:04:25,019 --> 00:04:26,389
Gobei.
20
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:29,519
I need your honest opinion
about something.
21
00:04:29,729 --> 00:04:30,639
Yes, sensei.
22
00:04:30,859 --> 00:04:32,769
What do you think of Haru?
23
00:04:33,779 --> 00:04:36,269
I love my brother.
His heart's like a flower.
24
00:04:36,529 --> 00:04:38,319
His determination's like a tiger.
25
00:04:39,449 --> 00:04:42,859
He's fat, a fool
and an embarrassment to ninjas.
26
00:04:46,789 --> 00:04:50,919
Today, I am proud to be your sensei.
27
00:04:51,289 --> 00:04:54,129
This is that special time
when I can say to you...
28
00:04:54,629 --> 00:04:56,539
...you are a ninja.
29
00:04:56,759 --> 00:04:59,249
You can communicate with
other ninjas...
30
00:04:59,469 --> 00:05:03,929
...by projecting yourself
onto the Plane of Enlightenment.
31
00:05:13,059 --> 00:05:14,339
Remember...
32
00:05:15,359 --> 00:05:16,639
...on this plane...
33
00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:20,109
...which can be shared by
no other mortal...
34
00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:24,529
...we can always contact each other
wherever we may be.
35
00:05:24,779 --> 00:05:26,109
As a ninja...
36
00:05:26,829 --> 00:05:29,659
...you are one with the universe.
37
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,799
All of you
who are graduating today...
38
00:05:47,009 --> 00:05:50,379
...will receive the medallion
of the Tengu Warrior.
39
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:55,189
However, I give the golden medallion
to my finest student.
40
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:58,809
Gobei.
41
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:04,649
Forged in the fires
of confidence and discipline.
42
00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:08,029
Carry it with you always.
43
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:35,269
Sorry, Haru.
44
00:06:38,609 --> 00:06:41,059
Congratulations, big brother.
45
00:06:47,409 --> 00:06:50,409
Wait! Sensei, wait for me!
46
00:06:50,659 --> 00:06:52,819
Sensei, I am so excited about tonight.
47
00:06:53,039 --> 00:06:55,909
I have been waiting
for such a long time!
48
00:06:57,169 --> 00:07:00,619
Tonight's exercise
is for the ninjas only.
49
00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:02,499
But your job is an important one.
50
00:07:02,749 --> 00:07:05,209
You are to remain here
to protect the village...
51
00:07:05,419 --> 00:07:07,579
...and guard the dojo.
52
00:07:07,799 --> 00:07:09,179
I shall do as you say.
53
00:07:09,389 --> 00:07:11,879
I shall protect the village
and guard the dojo.
54
00:07:12,139 --> 00:07:14,889
And I shall water the plants.
55
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,809
Good luck. Good luck.
56
00:07:19,019 --> 00:07:21,429
Stay low so as not to be detected.
57
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,229
Good luck, my brother.
58
00:07:53,889 --> 00:07:55,459
Do not try it.
59
00:08:05,309 --> 00:08:06,939
Are you communicating with me?
60
00:08:08,189 --> 00:08:10,769
Are you communicating with me?
61
00:08:19,579 --> 00:08:20,439
Hello?
62
00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:26,659
Excuse me.
Is this the Takagure dojo?
63
00:08:30,049 --> 00:08:32,749
I'm sorry.
This must be the wrong place.
64
00:08:32,969 --> 00:08:35,369
No! Please do not go.
I mean...
65
00:08:36,429 --> 00:08:39,349
Yes, this is the Takagure dojo.
66
00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:41,049
Oh, thank goodness.
67
00:08:41,269 --> 00:08:42,459
Let me take your...
68
00:08:42,769 --> 00:08:43,799
...shoes.
69
00:08:46,399 --> 00:08:47,859
Thank you.
70
00:08:50,189 --> 00:08:52,519
I was told that
I could find a ninja here.
71
00:08:52,739 --> 00:08:53,899
Really?
72
00:08:54,489 --> 00:08:55,819
Please, sit.
73
00:09:00,119 --> 00:09:01,229
Wait!
74
00:09:04,039 --> 00:09:05,199
Thank you.
75
00:09:07,169 --> 00:09:08,909
That's very impressive.
76
00:09:10,169 --> 00:09:11,369
So are you a ninja?
77
00:09:14,169 --> 00:09:15,999
Yes, I am.
78
00:09:16,339 --> 00:09:17,289
But you're white.
79
00:09:17,839 --> 00:09:20,299
You're observant,
as well as beautiful.
80
00:09:20,889 --> 00:09:23,679
I didn't expect
to find a white ninja.
81
00:09:24,139 --> 00:09:26,219
Do not be fooled by my skin colour.
82
00:09:26,439 --> 00:09:31,859
Have you heard of the white child who
will be the greatest ninja master?
83
00:09:32,109 --> 00:09:34,979
- Is that you?
- Some say it is so.
84
00:09:35,189 --> 00:09:37,649
You see, it is written
in this holy writ.
85
00:09:40,119 --> 00:09:42,109
This holds the teachings
of all ninjutsu...
86
00:09:42,369 --> 00:09:45,869
...that have been passed down
over five centuries.
87
00:09:46,079 --> 00:09:49,529
In this is a legend
about a Great White Ninja?
88
00:09:50,209 --> 00:09:51,489
You see here:
89
00:09:51,829 --> 00:09:55,699
"In the 16th century
there came to pass..."
90
00:09:56,169 --> 00:09:57,799
It's the wrong writ.
91
00:09:58,049 --> 00:10:02,549
This is about the sensei and twin
geishas. Also a good legend...
92
00:10:02,759 --> 00:10:06,209
...but not the one
we were looking for.
93
00:10:07,059 --> 00:10:08,599
Here is my legend.
94
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:11,379
"It's told that
a foreign child will come...
95
00:10:11,599 --> 00:10:14,599
...and become a ninja master
like no other."
96
00:10:14,819 --> 00:10:15,929
It's burning.
97
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:18,389
The words are seared
into my soul.
98
00:10:18,649 --> 00:10:21,489
- It's really on fire!
- Yes, I can tell...
99
00:10:36,799 --> 00:10:39,709
They may have a second copy.
100
00:10:39,919 --> 00:10:44,829
Please tell me why you
have come to my dojo.
101
00:10:45,049 --> 00:10:48,969
I warn you that what I'm asking
might be dangerous.
102
00:10:49,179 --> 00:10:51,639
Danger is my companion.
103
00:10:52,229 --> 00:10:53,089
Miss...?
104
00:10:53,309 --> 00:10:55,269
Sally. Sally Jones.
105
00:10:55,479 --> 00:10:58,429
I am Haru.
Do not worry about Haru.
106
00:10:58,649 --> 00:11:00,269
This ninja knows no fear.
107
00:11:00,479 --> 00:11:04,899
You see, I'm a trained master
in all the weapons of battle.
108
00:11:13,079 --> 00:11:15,369
That rack was not built by ninjas.
109
00:11:18,169 --> 00:11:21,369
This, however, was.
110
00:11:34,019 --> 00:11:35,479
Luck is with me...
111
00:11:35,689 --> 00:11:38,389
...for this sacred shrine
holds the ashes...
112
00:11:39,649 --> 00:11:42,429
...of our fallen ninja warriors.
113
00:11:47,199 --> 00:11:49,149
Sensei is going to kill me!
114
00:11:51,329 --> 00:11:52,869
Takure.
115
00:11:54,789 --> 00:11:56,359
Master Go.
116
00:11:59,459 --> 00:12:00,699
Tampo?
117
00:12:02,709 --> 00:12:03,989
Kai?
118
00:12:05,379 --> 00:12:07,419
I think they worked as a team.
119
00:12:07,759 --> 00:12:10,789
Tell me why you are
in need of a ninja.
120
00:12:11,009 --> 00:12:14,179
Ninjas can get into places
without being seen.
121
00:12:14,469 --> 00:12:17,839
What I need requires great stealth.
122
00:12:18,809 --> 00:12:22,479
You are in luck.
My highest grades were in stealth.
123
00:12:22,689 --> 00:12:27,149
Here's an example. Close your eyes,
turn around and count to nine.
124
00:12:27,359 --> 00:12:29,729
When you open them,
I will be gone.
125
00:12:33,239 --> 00:12:35,779
One, two...
126
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,529
...three, four...
127
00:12:39,369 --> 00:12:42,239
...five, six...
128
00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:45,409
...seven, eight...
129
00:12:46,089 --> 00:12:47,079
...nine.
130
00:12:48,709 --> 00:12:49,749
Hello?
131
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:53,419
Here I am.
132
00:12:54,179 --> 00:12:56,879
Sally Jones, I accept
your dangerous mission.
133
00:12:57,099 --> 00:12:59,299
Oh, that's great.
Thank you.
134
00:12:59,519 --> 00:13:01,969
Here's my problem.
I'm seeing this man.
135
00:13:02,229 --> 00:13:05,429
- You have a man friend.
- I'm suspicious of him.
136
00:13:05,649 --> 00:13:09,809
- He's seeing another woman.
- I think it's bigger than that.
137
00:13:10,029 --> 00:13:12,979
I've discovered he has
a meeting tomorrow.
138
00:13:13,199 --> 00:13:15,519
Excellent.
You too should be a ninja.
139
00:13:15,739 --> 00:13:19,519
Find out what he's up to.
His name's Martin Tanley...
140
00:13:19,739 --> 00:13:23,359
...and he has a limo
with this license plate number.
141
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:31,249
3-5-1-0-2.
Where shall I contact you?
142
00:13:31,509 --> 00:13:34,129
It's important that
you don't contact me.
143
00:13:34,339 --> 00:13:36,579
I'll contact you before I leave.
144
00:13:37,089 --> 00:13:40,629
Whatever you wish. I'll follow
your boyfriend, Sally.
145
00:13:40,849 --> 00:13:43,929
My eyes are like
the tentacles of a squid.
146
00:13:44,139 --> 00:13:45,389
Good.
147
00:13:45,939 --> 00:13:47,269
I guess.
148
00:13:47,479 --> 00:13:48,679
Thank you.
149
00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:27,429
Yes! I got you.
150
00:14:48,579 --> 00:14:49,989
Good morning, Mr. Tanley.
151
00:14:50,209 --> 00:14:51,159
Nobu.
152
00:14:51,709 --> 00:14:53,619
It's all set.
They'll meet us here.
153
00:14:53,839 --> 00:14:55,539
Let's have a look at it.
154
00:14:56,249 --> 00:14:58,789
- Oh, yes.
- It's a perfect counterfeit.
155
00:14:59,009 --> 00:15:01,879
One we can duplicate
10 million times.
156
00:15:11,059 --> 00:15:13,899
Martin Tanley,
attack me with your front gate...
157
00:15:14,109 --> 00:15:16,599
...I come in the back door.
158
00:15:19,359 --> 00:15:21,439
Oh, yes. They are beautiful.
159
00:15:21,649 --> 00:15:24,609
- I have some bad news.
- What?
160
00:15:24,819 --> 00:15:27,909
The plates are for
only one side of the bill.
161
00:15:28,159 --> 00:15:29,569
Excuse me?
162
00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:33,959
- The plates are in Los Angeles.
- Why?
163
00:15:34,169 --> 00:15:36,209
- I don't know.
- You're paid to know.
164
00:15:36,589 --> 00:15:39,499
I arranged to get this set of plates.
165
00:15:39,709 --> 00:15:44,459
I just paid a million dollars for
one side of a 10,000 yen bill.
166
00:15:44,679 --> 00:15:48,009
- What good does that do me?
- No good.
167
00:15:50,309 --> 00:15:53,429
Here's some advice
for your next life:
168
00:15:53,689 --> 00:15:55,809
Never take a job you
can't complete.
169
00:16:54,289 --> 00:16:58,779
I'm sorry I posed as a ninja,
but this woman needed my help.
170
00:16:58,999 --> 00:17:00,739
It's you who needs help.
171
00:17:00,959 --> 00:17:04,289
The police believe
a ninja committed a murder.
172
00:17:04,499 --> 00:17:06,909
Believe me, sensei,
I killed no one.
173
00:17:07,129 --> 00:17:11,129
I do believe you, Haru.
But I'm worried.
174
00:17:11,339 --> 00:17:14,509
Don't worry about me.
The woman's in trouble.
175
00:17:14,719 --> 00:17:17,509
Is it likely
that this woman hired you...
176
00:17:17,729 --> 00:17:21,139
...so she could blame
someone for this murder?
177
00:17:21,349 --> 00:17:25,569
She's incapable of such things.
She is as lovely as a dove.
178
00:17:25,769 --> 00:17:30,019
It sounds to me you are being
led around by your short sword.
179
00:17:30,779 --> 00:17:34,649
Gobei called her hotel.
There's no one named Sally Jones.
180
00:17:34,909 --> 00:17:39,239
A woman such as you described
had the name Alison Page.
181
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:42,359
Perhaps she gave a false name.
182
00:17:42,579 --> 00:17:44,819
Perhaps she gave you the false name.
183
00:17:45,039 --> 00:17:47,799
Believe me.
This woman's telling the truth.
184
00:17:47,999 --> 00:17:51,009
You are unable to tell
truth from untruth.
185
00:17:51,219 --> 00:17:54,379
Impossible.
My ninja intuition tells me this.
186
00:17:54,589 --> 00:17:58,809
You don't have ninja intuition,
or even normal intuition.
187
00:17:59,019 --> 00:18:01,719
My feelings tell me
Sally Jones is in trouble.
188
00:18:01,939 --> 00:18:04,179
I must protect her in America.
189
00:18:04,399 --> 00:18:08,009
What makes you think you can
find her in America?
190
00:18:10,069 --> 00:18:11,349
I have this.
191
00:18:15,279 --> 00:18:18,979
I must go to the hills of Beverly,
and save Sally Jones.
192
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:23,829
And prove, once and for all,
that I am the Great White Ninja.
193
00:18:26,919 --> 00:18:29,999
I will miss you.
Goodbye.
194
00:18:30,629 --> 00:18:31,579
Goodbye.
195
00:18:44,059 --> 00:18:48,189
Gobei, I've always looked up to you,
and you've always looked out for me.
196
00:18:48,399 --> 00:18:50,389
But now I'll look out for myself.
197
00:18:50,649 --> 00:18:54,729
Be careful in your travels.
The world is dangerous.
198
00:19:01,079 --> 00:19:02,739
Thank you, big brother.
199
00:19:07,669 --> 00:19:10,999
Though I think it is wrong for you
to make this journey...
200
00:19:11,919 --> 00:19:13,959
...I want you to take this.
201
00:19:14,799 --> 00:19:17,249
Use them only for necessities.
202
00:19:20,089 --> 00:19:22,129
Believe in yourself, my son.
203
00:19:22,759 --> 00:19:24,219
I know you will succeed.
204
00:19:24,429 --> 00:19:25,759
Thank you, sensei.
205
00:19:26,019 --> 00:19:29,049
There is no better father
that a boy could have had.
206
00:19:29,599 --> 00:19:30,469
Go, Haru.
207
00:19:34,819 --> 00:19:36,229
Wait! Wait up!
208
00:19:36,439 --> 00:19:38,689
Goodbye, everyone!
209
00:19:43,739 --> 00:19:46,199
I'm going to miss him.
210
00:19:46,409 --> 00:19:47,989
No, you will not.
211
00:19:48,539 --> 00:19:50,329
Because you are going with him.
212
00:19:50,539 --> 00:19:52,279
No! Please!
Anything but that!
213
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,539
Goodbye, my family!
214
00:19:54,919 --> 00:19:56,499
See you! Don't worry...
215
00:19:59,969 --> 00:20:01,589
You'll be his shadow.
216
00:20:01,799 --> 00:20:04,509
No one can know
you are helping him...
217
00:20:04,759 --> 00:20:06,469
...especially Haru.
218
00:20:06,679 --> 00:20:08,309
Goodbye, everyone!
219
00:20:11,849 --> 00:20:13,559
I'll take your bag.
220
00:20:20,899 --> 00:20:23,139
Empty your pockets, please.
221
00:20:53,599 --> 00:20:57,179
I am sure you'd like to know
who I am and what I do.
222
00:20:57,399 --> 00:21:00,269
But as part of my creed,
I cannot tell you.
223
00:21:00,479 --> 00:21:04,479
My identity must remain
mysterious and my mission secret.
224
00:21:04,699 --> 00:21:07,529
- I cannot reveal it to you.
- Why not?
225
00:21:08,449 --> 00:21:10,819
Because I would then
have to kill you.
226
00:21:11,039 --> 00:21:12,609
Daddy!
227
00:21:13,829 --> 00:21:16,399
Daddy, he said
he was going to kill me!
228
00:21:18,999 --> 00:21:20,329
What'd you say?
229
00:21:20,539 --> 00:21:23,249
I was relating to the child
the importance...
230
00:21:33,429 --> 00:21:35,509
That's it. Grab it.
231
00:22:28,149 --> 00:22:29,649
Thanks, asshole!
232
00:22:30,779 --> 00:22:32,189
You are welcome.
233
00:22:55,759 --> 00:22:56,789
What happened?
234
00:22:57,009 --> 00:22:59,799
The plates were taken
by the gang, Kobudosai.
235
00:23:00,019 --> 00:23:02,339
I want them back.
236
00:23:02,559 --> 00:23:03,559
It's being arranged.
237
00:23:03,769 --> 00:23:06,309
But it's delicate,
not like in Japan.
238
00:23:06,519 --> 00:23:09,609
Nobu, this is Beverly Hills.
Everyone's delicate.
239
00:23:09,819 --> 00:23:12,569
That's why crooks like me
are respected.
240
00:23:12,819 --> 00:23:15,939
- My dear, how was your shopping?
- Good.
241
00:23:16,159 --> 00:23:17,319
Share some lunch?
242
00:23:32,459 --> 00:23:35,709
- May I take your bag?
- Thanks, asshole.
243
00:23:36,509 --> 00:23:37,969
You're welcome, sir.
244
00:23:57,739 --> 00:24:01,069
You see, sensei,
it is all coming together.
245
00:24:12,999 --> 00:24:17,419
Seventy-three minutes to deliver
two suitcases and a garment bag.
246
00:24:17,629 --> 00:24:19,209
Do you have an explanation?
247
00:24:19,429 --> 00:24:24,849
I seem to be coming down with a mild
case of tunnel carpal syndrome.
248
00:24:25,139 --> 00:24:28,559
I think it's from carrying
heavy garment bags.
249
00:24:28,769 --> 00:24:33,389
I don't want to go on disability
and sue the company for millions.
250
00:24:33,609 --> 00:24:36,059
So I figured
I would just pace myself.
251
00:24:36,279 --> 00:24:40,189
Mr. Washington, everything
you do irritates me.
252
00:24:40,819 --> 00:24:42,899
I'm gonna go soak my wrists.
253
00:24:45,079 --> 00:24:46,359
May I help you, sir?
254
00:24:46,579 --> 00:24:50,079
Yes. I am looking for
a Sally Jones.
255
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:54,749
I'm sorry. I don't see
that name in my computer.
256
00:24:54,959 --> 00:24:56,289
Now, if you'll excuse me.
257
00:24:56,499 --> 00:24:59,789
Is the cost of your lodgings great?
258
00:25:00,009 --> 00:25:03,259
Compared to what?
A hut in a rice paddy?
259
00:25:03,509 --> 00:25:08,339
We're a five-star hotel with 800
rooms booked six months in advance.
260
00:25:08,559 --> 00:25:10,549
- I have money.
- I'm sure you do.
261
00:25:11,429 --> 00:25:15,729
- Unfortunately, we don't take wampum.
- Do you take gold?
262
00:25:19,979 --> 00:25:21,149
Front!
263
00:25:22,069 --> 00:25:25,149
Perhaps I shall send
Dom Perignon to your room?
264
00:25:25,409 --> 00:25:27,029
I prefer to be alone tonight.
265
00:25:27,239 --> 00:25:29,779
Perhaps later I'll meet
your friend Don.
266
00:25:31,949 --> 00:25:33,779
1 -A.
267
00:25:34,619 --> 00:25:36,449
My wrists!
268
00:25:36,879 --> 00:25:38,699
What you got in here, car radios?
269
00:25:39,129 --> 00:25:40,289
Here you go, sir.
270
00:25:40,549 --> 00:25:43,379
Welcome to the Rodeo Plaza Hotel.
271
00:26:00,319 --> 00:26:02,519
What are you?
A spy or something?
272
00:26:02,729 --> 00:26:04,149
A spy?
273
00:26:04,779 --> 00:26:07,979
A spy is like a gnat
compared to a ninja.
274
00:26:08,449 --> 00:26:09,399
Ninja?
275
00:26:09,659 --> 00:26:12,359
You're a ninja? Get out of here!
You're a ninja!
276
00:26:12,579 --> 00:26:13,949
Yes, I am a ninja.
277
00:26:14,159 --> 00:26:17,579
I took karate lessons.
I'm not as advanced as you.
278
00:26:17,789 --> 00:26:21,119
I'm a tangerine belt, orange belt.
279
00:26:21,339 --> 00:26:24,419
I'm one of them citrus colours.
You know?
280
00:26:24,839 --> 00:26:28,339
Very admirable.
Then perhaps you'll know...
281
00:26:28,549 --> 00:26:30,379
...what these are.
282
00:26:43,569 --> 00:26:45,439
Man, that was dope!
283
00:26:45,729 --> 00:26:48,309
Are you a third-degree black belt?
284
00:26:48,529 --> 00:26:51,729
My black belt
is like the inside of a coffin...
285
00:26:51,949 --> 00:26:53,859
...on a moonless night.
286
00:26:56,289 --> 00:26:59,069
- That's pretty black.
- It is a black art.
287
00:26:59,289 --> 00:27:01,959
And I, Haru, am the blackest
of the black.
288
00:27:02,169 --> 00:27:05,369
Or, actually,
the Great White, black art...
289
00:27:05,589 --> 00:27:07,159
...blackest master.
290
00:27:07,379 --> 00:27:08,629
Hey, man.
291
00:27:09,339 --> 00:27:11,419
Do you know what I do every day?
292
00:27:11,629 --> 00:27:13,429
- No. What?
- I'm running.
293
00:27:13,639 --> 00:27:16,469
I'm always running.
My neighbourhood's bad.
294
00:27:16,679 --> 00:27:19,769
I run to get cigarettes,
to take out the trash.
295
00:27:19,979 --> 00:27:22,599
You know why?
Whenever I leave my house...
296
00:27:22,809 --> 00:27:24,939
...somebody's waiting
to kick my ass.
297
00:27:25,149 --> 00:27:29,809
Show me a little of what you know.
A kick or a jab. Something.
298
00:27:30,069 --> 00:27:32,859
If I do, give me
your solemn promise...
299
00:27:33,109 --> 00:27:35,239
...not to question my authority.
300
00:27:35,449 --> 00:27:38,119
No problem, man.
I went to Catholic school.
301
00:27:39,449 --> 00:27:42,699
All right then, Joey.
I'll do what I can.
302
00:27:45,579 --> 00:27:48,949
Lesson number one:
Always be on your guard.
303
00:27:49,459 --> 00:27:52,169
Always be on my guard. All right.
You the ninja.
304
00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:53,409
On my guard.
305
00:27:56,599 --> 00:27:58,419
Lesson number two:
306
00:27:58,639 --> 00:28:01,559
Your foe's back can
quickly become his front.
307
00:28:01,769 --> 00:28:05,599
Lesson 34: The technique
for ripping a man's head off...
308
00:28:05,809 --> 00:28:07,639
...is by using your bare hands.
309
00:28:07,859 --> 00:28:11,809
This requires discipline.
Years or decades to achieve.
310
00:28:12,029 --> 00:28:14,649
I suggest that
you practise on chickens.
311
00:28:15,029 --> 00:28:15,889
Chickens?
312
00:28:16,109 --> 00:28:18,599
Ninja secret. Chickens.
313
00:28:19,739 --> 00:28:22,739
Here is what I was looking for, Joey.
314
00:28:22,949 --> 00:28:25,709
A Beverly Hills disguise.
315
00:28:25,919 --> 00:28:30,289
Something simple and natural,
yet subtle and cunning.
316
00:28:30,499 --> 00:28:31,749
You wait here.
317
00:28:32,129 --> 00:28:33,619
I got your back.
318
00:28:42,969 --> 00:28:45,929
- You look like a pimp.
- Thank you.
319
00:28:46,349 --> 00:28:50,399
As a pimp, I'll blend into
the city like MSG into miso soup.
320
00:28:50,649 --> 00:28:54,019
- It's time for me to find my dove.
- How do we do that?
321
00:28:54,229 --> 00:28:56,519
She's rich, beautiful and blond.
322
00:28:56,819 --> 00:28:59,689
How many rich blonds
could there be?
323
00:28:59,909 --> 00:29:03,489
Natural blondes?
I'm in. Let's do it.
324
00:29:03,739 --> 00:29:05,819
We are entering
a dangerous phase.
325
00:29:06,039 --> 00:29:08,359
A mistake could
jeopardize Sally's life.
326
00:29:08,579 --> 00:29:11,329
So what are you saying?
I can't go?
327
00:29:12,669 --> 00:29:13,529
Sally?
328
00:29:13,749 --> 00:29:16,589
Oh, my gosh!
Get away from me, you creep!
329
00:29:18,169 --> 00:29:21,259
I thought we was homies.
You're my boy, my ninja.
330
00:29:21,509 --> 00:29:24,759
- We're like this.
- A ninja master knows best.
331
00:29:24,969 --> 00:29:28,179
You're questioning my authority.
332
00:29:28,389 --> 00:29:29,719
You're right.
333
00:29:29,939 --> 00:29:34,599
- lf you need me, I'll be at the hotel.
- Okay. Good work today.
334
00:29:36,109 --> 00:29:37,349
Sally?
335
00:29:45,579 --> 00:29:46,949
Sally Jones!
336
00:30:20,729 --> 00:30:22,889
I mistook you for a friend of mine.
337
00:30:23,149 --> 00:30:25,359
You look like her.
I mean, him.
338
00:30:25,569 --> 00:30:29,899
Up close, you don't look like either.
They are twins.
339
00:30:30,159 --> 00:30:33,079
And they...
This is nice.
340
00:30:33,459 --> 00:30:36,819
Excuse me, I have to be going.
Thank you.
341
00:30:56,139 --> 00:30:59,059
Sally! Sally Jones!
It is I, Haru!
342
00:30:59,269 --> 00:31:02,479
- Why are you here?
- You said you needed a ninja.
343
00:31:02,689 --> 00:31:07,319
I've come many miles
disguised as a pimp to help you.
344
00:31:12,619 --> 00:31:14,159
Just go away.
345
00:31:17,829 --> 00:31:19,109
I'll rescue you.
346
00:31:19,379 --> 00:31:21,869
I don't need to be rescued.
Just leave.
347
00:31:22,789 --> 00:31:25,329
I see. Very smart.
348
00:31:25,589 --> 00:31:29,339
It is better that you
not let them know I am here.
349
00:31:29,549 --> 00:31:31,669
Here, take this.
350
00:31:33,389 --> 00:31:38,099
I discovered your boyfriend is
a counterfeiter and a killer.
351
00:31:38,559 --> 00:31:41,809
You can be sure he's
cheating on you too.
352
00:31:42,019 --> 00:31:45,389
Do not despair.
I will be ever-vigilant.
353
00:31:45,609 --> 00:31:49,689
I'll be watching your every move.
Making sure that as the...
354
00:31:52,409 --> 00:31:55,109
Do not be afraid, my dove.
355
00:31:55,489 --> 00:31:57,319
I will be watching you.
356
00:31:58,119 --> 00:31:59,449
There you are.
357
00:32:07,629 --> 00:32:12,839
We'll see who is the hunter
and who is the prey, Martin Tanley.
358
00:32:23,809 --> 00:32:28,229
Martin Tanley, you have left a trail
a sloth could follow.
359
00:32:41,909 --> 00:32:44,119
Thanks for meeting us, Mr. Ozaru.
360
00:32:44,329 --> 00:32:49,039
- It's best we resolve our differences.
- Perfect agreement.
361
00:32:49,249 --> 00:32:51,919
Cut the bullshit.
How much for your plates?
362
00:32:52,129 --> 00:32:53,709
You have it backwards.
363
00:32:53,929 --> 00:32:57,839
The Kobudosai will buy your plates.
364
00:32:58,049 --> 00:33:02,719
Do you think you can waltz in,
grab the plates and run the show?
365
00:33:02,929 --> 00:33:06,139
You don't have a choice,
Mr. Tanley.
366
00:33:10,439 --> 00:33:13,389
I will know. I will do.
367
00:33:14,109 --> 00:33:16,519
I am one with the universe.
368
00:33:25,249 --> 00:33:27,449
Holy Shinto!
369
00:33:29,079 --> 00:33:32,119
I am one with the universe.
370
00:33:39,929 --> 00:33:41,969
No, I am not...
371
00:33:42,309 --> 00:33:45,309
...one with the universe!
372
00:33:48,729 --> 00:33:49,839
Let's discuss...
373
00:33:50,059 --> 00:33:52,679
...how much we're going to give you...
374
00:33:53,019 --> 00:33:54,519
...for your plates.
375
00:34:53,539 --> 00:34:54,659
Get out!
376
00:35:14,229 --> 00:35:16,219
Holy Shinto!
377
00:35:16,439 --> 00:35:18,559
Help! Police!
378
00:35:18,859 --> 00:35:20,019
No! No!
379
00:35:20,279 --> 00:35:21,439
I did not do it!
380
00:35:31,039 --> 00:35:35,079
This is the site of a gangland
murder in Little Tokyo.
381
00:35:35,289 --> 00:35:38,489
Witnesses say the assailant
had tattoos...
382
00:35:38,709 --> 00:35:41,249
...and may be a ninja.
383
00:35:41,499 --> 00:35:46,929
He matches an Interpol description
of a man wanted in Japan for murder.
384
00:35:52,929 --> 00:35:54,389
Come to papa, baby!
385
00:35:55,729 --> 00:36:00,889
Keep practising, Joey, and some
day you will choke that chicken.
386
00:36:01,109 --> 00:36:02,479
For Pete's sake.
387
00:36:02,689 --> 00:36:06,019
Who is sloppy and messing up?
388
00:36:06,569 --> 00:36:09,139
Getting in the way all the time.
389
00:36:12,659 --> 00:36:13,989
Sensei.
390
00:36:14,199 --> 00:36:19,359
Meditate on me, Haru, and we'll
meet on the Plane of Enlightenment.
391
00:36:27,259 --> 00:36:30,289
Help!
I must concentrate!
392
00:36:30,509 --> 00:36:33,049
- I am one with the universe!
- Here, Haru!
393
00:36:33,299 --> 00:36:35,049
I am here.
394
00:36:35,469 --> 00:36:36,549
I hate this!
395
00:36:40,139 --> 00:36:41,339
Thank you, sensei.
396
00:36:45,109 --> 00:36:47,429
- Hello, my son
- Hello, sensei.
397
00:36:47,649 --> 00:36:51,399
- There's a problem you are facing.
- Not really.
398
00:36:51,609 --> 00:36:55,909
It's just that I have been accused
of another murder...
399
00:36:56,159 --> 00:36:57,359
...or two.
400
00:36:57,579 --> 00:37:00,609
- Come home, Haru.
- I cannot, sensei.
401
00:37:00,959 --> 00:37:03,579
I need your help
finding Sally Jones.
402
00:37:03,789 --> 00:37:06,279
I've considered several techniques.
403
00:37:06,499 --> 00:37:09,839
I could find the names of all
BMW sales...
404
00:37:10,049 --> 00:37:14,129
...checking on all the Joneses,
then visiting them. Or...
405
00:37:14,639 --> 00:37:16,509
You could try a phone book.
406
00:37:20,559 --> 00:37:22,269
A phone book.
407
00:37:22,479 --> 00:37:25,729
- Then resume your quest.
- I will, sensei.
408
00:38:11,149 --> 00:38:13,719
You thought, perhaps,
an experienced ninja...
409
00:38:13,939 --> 00:38:15,599
...would not be ready for you.
410
00:38:20,449 --> 00:38:24,489
I am Haru of the Takagure dojo.
Do not forget that.
411
00:38:25,119 --> 00:38:27,909
I am one with the universe!
412
00:38:58,529 --> 00:39:01,699
I am Haru of the Takagure...
413
00:39:11,329 --> 00:39:13,369
Alison.
414
00:39:17,129 --> 00:39:18,129
Hello, Alison.
415
00:39:18,549 --> 00:39:20,869
- Did Martin say when he'd be back?
- No.
416
00:39:21,129 --> 00:39:24,299
That's strange.
We have business to go over.
417
00:39:25,929 --> 00:39:31,349
It appears Sally's using her
false name with these people.
418
00:39:31,639 --> 00:39:36,389
Very clever, Sally.
You really should be a ninja.
419
00:39:44,659 --> 00:39:47,029
There's something's wrong here.
420
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:50,529
I am the only one
who is calling her Sally Jones.
421
00:39:53,329 --> 00:39:55,739
How could she do this to me?
422
00:41:44,559 --> 00:41:47,599
Do not move, Alison... Alison Page!
423
00:41:47,819 --> 00:41:50,979
The guards could kill us both.
424
00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:54,069
You are a liar, Sally...
Sally Jones!
425
00:41:54,279 --> 00:41:57,239
I'm sorry that I gave you
a false name.
426
00:41:57,449 --> 00:42:00,739
I only did it so Tanley
wouldn't know I hired you.
427
00:42:01,659 --> 00:42:03,989
Your lies bounce
like Ping-Pong balls.
428
00:42:04,209 --> 00:42:06,619
I am not lying to you, Haru.
429
00:42:06,959 --> 00:42:11,499
In fact, you've helped me.
You found out what I needed to know.
430
00:42:12,049 --> 00:42:14,129
- I did?
- Yes.
431
00:42:14,549 --> 00:42:18,089
Look. My sister Carla
worked for Tanley.
432
00:42:18,349 --> 00:42:20,469
She died mysteriously.
433
00:42:20,679 --> 00:42:24,809
I suspected Tanley, but I couldn't
prove anything until you.
434
00:42:26,059 --> 00:42:28,769
But you're in love with Tanley.
435
00:42:29,109 --> 00:42:32,889
I got involved with him
to find out about Carla.
436
00:42:33,109 --> 00:42:35,649
He doesn't know I'm her sister!
437
00:42:35,859 --> 00:42:39,649
I cannot tell the truth
from the untruth.
438
00:42:43,789 --> 00:42:44,869
There's no time!
439
00:42:45,079 --> 00:42:48,499
If I find the plates, I'll
get him. Believe me!
440
00:42:48,789 --> 00:42:52,489
I do. I've never
stopped believing in you.
441
00:42:52,709 --> 00:42:56,129
You're not alone.
Great White Ninja's on your case.
442
00:42:56,429 --> 00:42:57,919
Thank you, Haru.
443
00:43:07,389 --> 00:43:09,189
Quick! Bedroom, bedroom!
444
00:43:09,649 --> 00:43:11,439
Go! Go!
445
00:43:15,489 --> 00:43:17,769
- What are you doing?
- Looking for you.
446
00:43:17,989 --> 00:43:21,109
I thought I'd make lunch for you.
447
00:43:21,329 --> 00:43:23,699
- I have a meeting.
- Wait!
448
00:43:45,679 --> 00:43:48,049
Let me take you to The Grill.
449
00:43:48,269 --> 00:43:51,769
I can't. Not today.
I'm in a bit of a hurry.
450
00:43:57,529 --> 00:43:59,399
Hopefully, I'll see you later.
451
00:43:59,819 --> 00:44:03,189
Call a friend.
Have a lovely afternoon.
452
00:44:03,409 --> 00:44:06,779
Since I can't go,
take them to lunch instead.
453
00:44:08,159 --> 00:44:10,529
Have a great meeting. Bye!
454
00:44:20,259 --> 00:44:21,249
Good job!
455
00:44:21,469 --> 00:44:22,459
Thank you.
456
00:44:22,679 --> 00:44:26,129
I don't know what to do.
I can't find those plates.
457
00:44:26,349 --> 00:44:30,129
Do not be disheartened.
I know Tanley's next move.
458
00:44:32,099 --> 00:44:34,429
I have discovered his schedule...
459
00:44:34,649 --> 00:44:36,139
...in this date book.
460
00:44:36,809 --> 00:44:38,189
That's great.
461
00:45:59,899 --> 00:46:01,559
Shrimp? Shrimp?
462
00:46:20,249 --> 00:46:21,789
I gotcha!
463
00:46:27,009 --> 00:46:28,169
Look at this!
464
00:46:30,339 --> 00:46:33,919
Word is out that
what happened could start a war.
465
00:46:34,139 --> 00:46:35,839
They can have a war.
466
00:46:36,059 --> 00:46:39,389
Do not underestimate the Kobudosai.
467
00:46:39,599 --> 00:46:41,469
We're not exactly kittens.
468
00:47:07,749 --> 00:47:10,289
Have you met the ink specialist?
469
00:47:10,959 --> 00:47:13,999
Chet Walters.
I'm told he's the best.
470
00:47:14,219 --> 00:47:17,799
Good. He'll print
the front half of the bill tomorrow.
471
00:47:18,009 --> 00:47:19,589
No complications.
472
00:47:19,809 --> 00:47:24,599
What about this ninja
the police think killed Ozura?
473
00:47:24,849 --> 00:47:27,089
We're lucky there's a suspect.
474
00:47:27,309 --> 00:47:30,309
And a white ninja.
Who ever heard of that?
475
00:47:37,069 --> 00:47:39,819
Tanley's at the first table
on the right.
476
00:48:03,519 --> 00:48:04,629
Please don't!
477
00:48:13,019 --> 00:48:16,059
Do you know how long it took me
to do my hair?
478
00:48:48,639 --> 00:48:49,719
Hurry, my dove!
479
00:48:50,519 --> 00:48:52,179
What's she doing here?
480
00:49:03,949 --> 00:49:06,569
- I know how to get the plates.
- You do?
481
00:49:06,789 --> 00:49:08,159
That's great.
482
00:49:10,539 --> 00:49:11,699
They're coming.
483
00:49:11,919 --> 00:49:14,489
A ninja knows when he's in danger.
484
00:49:14,709 --> 00:49:16,249
Shoot them!
485
00:49:19,169 --> 00:49:22,169
Now we are in danger.
We are really in danger!
486
00:49:33,479 --> 00:49:35,099
I'm one with the chicken.
487
00:49:35,349 --> 00:49:37,229
Keep practising, Joey.
488
00:49:44,279 --> 00:49:45,359
Where...?
489
00:49:51,079 --> 00:49:53,489
Thank you for letting me
stay here.
490
00:49:53,709 --> 00:49:55,499
It is my pleasure, Alison.
491
00:49:55,919 --> 00:49:58,829
Besides, there is no place
for you to go.
492
00:49:59,039 --> 00:50:01,959
Stay here. Tanley will be
watching you.
493
00:50:02,919 --> 00:50:04,749
Especially your apartment.
494
00:50:06,429 --> 00:50:10,419
I'll protect you
with all of my being.
495
00:50:13,469 --> 00:50:15,629
I'm so lucky I found you.
496
00:50:16,139 --> 00:50:17,719
You really are courageous.
497
00:50:19,359 --> 00:50:22,519
If only I had caught Tanley in Japan.
498
00:50:22,779 --> 00:50:26,939
Today, you'd be basking in the
safety of our dojo...
499
00:50:27,149 --> 00:50:30,939
...where I'd bring you
soap and sweet-smelling oils...
500
00:50:31,159 --> 00:50:34,279
...that you could rub
all over your body.
501
00:50:34,499 --> 00:50:35,529
And then...
502
00:50:36,959 --> 00:50:40,159
I am sorry. I got carried away.
503
00:50:40,669 --> 00:50:42,209
It's okay.
504
00:50:42,459 --> 00:50:45,209
Your loyalty is most appreciated.
505
00:50:46,969 --> 00:50:49,879
Well, I guess it's time to turn in.
506
00:50:50,469 --> 00:50:54,719
- Do you want the bed or the couch?
- Which would you prefer?
507
00:50:55,389 --> 00:50:56,769
Couch is fine for me.
508
00:50:56,979 --> 00:50:58,969
That would be fine for me too.
509
00:51:07,359 --> 00:51:08,439
Good night.
510
00:51:08,819 --> 00:51:09,649
Good night.
511
00:51:29,669 --> 00:51:33,589
Don't worry, he's an ink specialist
and suspects nothing.
512
00:51:33,839 --> 00:51:35,799
As we talked about,
you'll distract him...
513
00:51:36,009 --> 00:51:38,389
...and I'll use the ninja sleephold...
514
00:51:38,889 --> 00:51:41,129
...to incapacitate him.
Are you ready?
515
00:51:41,349 --> 00:51:42,809
Yeah, let's go.
516
00:51:47,899 --> 00:51:50,599
Welcome to Beverly Hills Bank Note.
517
00:51:50,859 --> 00:51:54,529
I'm Chet Walters. Nice coat.
Who shot the couch?
518
00:51:56,159 --> 00:51:58,359
I'm kidding.
What can I do you for?
519
00:51:58,579 --> 00:52:01,829
Our car broke down.
Mind if I use your phone?
520
00:52:02,079 --> 00:52:04,449
Don't get me started
on car problems.
521
00:52:04,669 --> 00:52:06,369
I got a 1975 Fairmont.
522
00:52:06,629 --> 00:52:11,039
It's about as hard
to turn over as me on Laguna Beach.
523
00:52:14,219 --> 00:52:18,079
I'm just bugging with you.
Auto Club is 555-9300.
524
00:52:18,299 --> 00:52:19,419
Thank you.
525
00:52:21,219 --> 00:52:22,389
Yep, the AAA.
526
00:52:23,429 --> 00:52:27,429
I knew a guy who started off
in AAA, then ended up in AA.
527
00:52:27,649 --> 00:52:29,349
He got busted for DUI.
528
00:52:30,269 --> 00:52:32,229
Hello, is this the Auto Club?
529
00:52:32,779 --> 00:52:33,969
What are you doing?
530
00:52:34,189 --> 00:52:37,559
Are you not familiar with
shiatsu massage?
531
00:52:37,819 --> 00:52:41,689
Shiatsu? Watch your language.
A lady's present.
532
00:52:42,119 --> 00:52:44,159
When I played ball
in Wisconsin...
533
00:52:44,369 --> 00:52:47,409
...these cheerleaders
lathered me up like a whale...
534
00:52:48,959 --> 00:52:50,159
Get off me!
535
00:52:50,379 --> 00:52:53,329
I'm calling the cops.
Give me the phone!
536
00:52:58,629 --> 00:53:03,339
- Not a ninja technique, but effective.
- Put him in the back.
537
00:53:08,059 --> 00:53:09,139
What're you doing?
538
00:53:09,349 --> 00:53:13,349
Preparing a great ninja tool:
The laughing mushroom.
539
00:53:13,569 --> 00:53:17,649
One pinch and he'll
tell the truth about Tanley.
540
00:53:17,859 --> 00:53:19,059
Careful, Alison.
541
00:53:19,279 --> 00:53:22,809
The effects are profound.
Open his mouth.
542
00:53:34,339 --> 00:53:37,419
I'm involved in
counterfeiting some money!
543
00:53:38,089 --> 00:53:39,499
Big deal!
544
00:53:41,839 --> 00:53:43,629
If I get caught...
545
00:53:43,889 --> 00:53:45,929
...I could do 30 years.
546
00:53:50,939 --> 00:53:53,089
Tanley is a killer!
547
00:53:53,309 --> 00:53:55,189
He killed her sister.
548
00:53:56,609 --> 00:53:59,359
When he's done,
he'll probably kill you!
549
00:54:02,819 --> 00:54:06,319
- When are you to meet him?
- Ten minutes.
550
00:54:06,619 --> 00:54:10,829
If you're here when he gets here,
he'll kill us all!
551
00:54:35,019 --> 00:54:38,639
- I don't think we should.
- I'm sorry. I was...
552
00:54:39,069 --> 00:54:41,019
I wasn't trying to...
553
00:54:41,229 --> 00:54:46,189
I was merely trying to get close
to the temple, not inside.
554
00:54:47,529 --> 00:54:50,979
I just wanted to climb the steps...
555
00:54:51,739 --> 00:54:54,369
...and maybe peek at
the sacred object.
556
00:55:05,629 --> 00:55:09,499
Hey, how you doing?
Chet Walters. Mr. Tanley?
557
00:55:09,719 --> 00:55:12,339
Nice jacket.
Who shot the couch?
558
00:55:12,559 --> 00:55:15,339
Very funny, Mr. Walters.
Ready to go?
559
00:55:15,559 --> 00:55:17,849
You bet! Your buggy or mine?
560
00:55:18,059 --> 00:55:19,769
Mine, I think.
561
00:55:21,819 --> 00:55:23,189
Gotta get the gear.
562
00:55:23,399 --> 00:55:26,239
Can't start an operation
without the gear.
563
00:55:26,439 --> 00:55:29,199
Here we are,
off to the wild blue yonder.
564
00:55:29,409 --> 00:55:31,899
You don't mind.
A small precaution.
565
00:55:32,119 --> 00:55:34,519
No, if you feel more comfortable.
566
00:55:34,739 --> 00:55:37,659
How will you drive with that on?
567
00:55:37,869 --> 00:55:39,909
- It's for you.
- Of course it is.
568
00:55:40,119 --> 00:55:44,199
Pin the Tail on the Donkey!
Who's got the piГ±ata?
569
00:55:44,459 --> 00:55:48,509
Hear about the lady who backed
into a fan? Dis-assed-her!
570
00:55:48,759 --> 00:55:50,499
- I don't care.
- You bet.
571
00:55:50,759 --> 00:55:54,509
Gotcha. You betcha.
Alrighty. Here we go!
572
00:55:56,639 --> 00:55:59,679
You pick up guys
and do this all the time?
573
00:56:03,769 --> 00:56:05,649
Who's driving this buggy?
574
00:56:05,859 --> 00:56:08,309
Let me guess. Don't tell me.
575
00:56:08,529 --> 00:56:10,239
Carol Channing.
576
00:56:14,529 --> 00:56:19,279
Mind if I borrow this next week?
I got a blind date. A blind date!
577
00:56:22,499 --> 00:56:25,869
Which way's he going?
Through the Grand Canyon?
578
00:56:27,209 --> 00:56:30,249
Where did he learn to drive?
Cooking school?
579
00:56:35,389 --> 00:56:37,299
Thank God we made it!
580
00:56:38,219 --> 00:56:40,589
Okay, let's take the blindfold off.
581
00:56:41,769 --> 00:56:44,799
That's what she said. She said!
582
00:56:46,559 --> 00:56:49,599
You think I ought to
work before you pay me?
583
00:56:49,819 --> 00:56:53,319
It's the real bill.
Print a proof copy today.
584
00:56:53,529 --> 00:56:55,189
Exactly like this.
585
00:56:55,449 --> 00:56:58,529
No problem.
Hold the phone a second.
586
00:57:00,579 --> 00:57:02,239
Old Faithful!
587
00:57:08,959 --> 00:57:10,949
Sure you don't want it sooner?
588
00:57:11,169 --> 00:57:13,839
They don't call me the best
for nothing.
589
00:57:25,189 --> 00:57:29,049
I'm in a thong Speedo,
hiking boots and a backpack.
590
00:57:29,479 --> 00:57:34,899
You get a ride on 83rd Avenue, dressed
like that in the middle of winter.
591
00:57:36,739 --> 00:57:38,229
What happened?
592
00:57:39,029 --> 00:57:40,859
A bug must've bit me.
593
00:57:42,409 --> 00:57:45,079
My brother's in pest control.
Bring him over...
594
00:57:45,289 --> 00:57:49,199
...he'll nuke every
cockroach and mosquito in this dump.
595
00:57:49,419 --> 00:57:52,119
Could we please get to work?
596
00:57:54,049 --> 00:57:58,959
I see you got the T-200
split-level Barber ink printing press.
597
00:57:59,339 --> 00:58:02,879
I printed leaflets
for the "Shave the Whale" campaign.
598
00:58:03,139 --> 00:58:06,469
- "Save the Whale."
- That's what you did with them?
599
00:58:06,679 --> 00:58:08,139
Nobu, keep an eye on him.
600
00:58:08,389 --> 00:58:11,729
Maybe it was "Starve the Whales"!
601
00:58:18,279 --> 00:58:21,279
Let's see what we got
baking in the oven.
602
00:58:29,079 --> 00:58:31,449
Not yet a match.
603
00:58:34,959 --> 00:58:38,709
It looks like we are
one degree Celsius off...
604
00:58:38,919 --> 00:58:41,209
...on that magenta colour.
605
00:58:41,429 --> 00:58:45,469
I'm gonna have to
quantify the 7-F reading on this...
606
00:58:45,679 --> 00:58:50,219
...and that'd run it through
with the surface-gravity viscosity.
607
00:58:50,929 --> 00:58:53,389
I can plug it into
the Marshall formula...
608
00:58:53,649 --> 00:58:57,309
...and that would give me
an accurate mix design.
609
00:58:57,519 --> 00:58:59,649
They're just a little bit off.
610
00:58:59,859 --> 00:59:02,979
What I could do on that is run
a Pap smear...
611
00:59:03,199 --> 00:59:05,819
...and then tone it down a little.
612
00:59:06,029 --> 00:59:09,449
- Hello, Mr. Tanley.
- What the hell is that?
613
00:59:10,699 --> 00:59:14,489
See what I'm up against?
I'll rethink my inks.
614
00:59:14,709 --> 00:59:16,329
So...
615
00:59:16,539 --> 00:59:20,749
...what I could do is,
I could swing back to my shop...
616
00:59:20,959 --> 00:59:23,289
...and be gone five minutes.
617
00:59:23,549 --> 00:59:26,999
You could blindfold me.
I liked that anyway.
618
00:59:30,509 --> 00:59:32,089
How'd that get in there?
619
00:59:32,309 --> 00:59:33,169
Who are you?
620
00:59:33,389 --> 00:59:35,219
Chet Walters, ink specialist.
621
00:59:39,399 --> 00:59:41,889
I am Haru of the Takagure dojo...
622
00:59:42,149 --> 00:59:44,939
...and if you value your life,
you will...
623
00:59:46,449 --> 00:59:47,729
Let's get him!
624
00:59:50,119 --> 00:59:51,689
Open this door!
625
00:59:51,909 --> 00:59:53,569
Let us out of here!
626
00:59:54,159 --> 00:59:58,029
Haru, you are truly
the Great White Ninja.
627
01:00:02,589 --> 01:00:05,539
Did I say ninja?
I meant ninny.
628
01:00:06,009 --> 01:00:08,579
"Haru, you are such a ninny."
629
01:00:45,419 --> 01:00:47,159
Where's Walters?
630
01:00:47,379 --> 01:00:50,799
Subject me to any torture
you can think of...
631
01:00:51,049 --> 01:00:53,379
...but a ninja does not talk.
632
01:00:53,599 --> 01:00:56,429
Ninja? You're a ninja?
633
01:00:56,889 --> 01:01:00,089
You're the fat ninja
everyone's talking about.
634
01:01:00,349 --> 01:01:02,059
Great White Ninja.
635
01:01:02,769 --> 01:01:05,889
The meeting with the Kobudosai
is arranged.
636
01:01:06,109 --> 01:01:08,809
Good. Tie him
and throw him in the van.
637
01:01:09,029 --> 01:01:10,689
Get rid of him later.
638
01:01:23,749 --> 01:01:26,699
Check your guns.
Kobudosai checked theirs.
639
01:01:50,149 --> 01:01:51,229
My dove!
640
01:01:52,819 --> 01:01:54,099
Are you all right?
641
01:01:54,359 --> 01:01:55,989
I am fine.
642
01:01:56,359 --> 01:01:58,519
Let me get this blindfold off.
643
01:02:01,869 --> 01:02:05,949
It is in the spirit of harmony
we meet here today.
644
01:02:06,209 --> 01:02:10,289
It is important to our community
an agreement be reached.
645
01:02:10,499 --> 01:02:12,829
Stop squirming!
I'm undoing these ropes.
646
01:02:13,089 --> 01:02:16,289
A ninja visualizes
the straightness of the rope.
647
01:02:16,509 --> 01:02:19,079
It will begin to untie itself.
648
01:02:20,009 --> 01:02:22,469
Or a knife is good.
649
01:02:23,429 --> 01:02:27,099
I suggest that you
make your plates our plates.
650
01:02:28,229 --> 01:02:29,469
Honoured elder?
651
01:02:29,689 --> 01:02:33,469
You know I have great respect
for you, Kumagi...
652
01:02:33,689 --> 01:02:36,529
...but I rule in favour of Mr. Tanley.
653
01:02:36,739 --> 01:02:40,819
- You won't get away with this!
- Yes, I will.
654
01:02:44,539 --> 01:02:47,739
These criminals will face
the justice system.
655
01:02:47,959 --> 01:02:48,989
Be careful.
656
01:03:07,559 --> 01:03:10,049
- Where's the ninja?
- I don't know.
657
01:03:10,349 --> 01:03:11,549
Never mind.
658
01:03:12,149 --> 01:03:14,389
That's right.
The Little Tokyo Temple.
659
01:03:15,019 --> 01:03:16,189
Stop the van.
660
01:03:16,399 --> 01:03:17,779
Stop the van!
661
01:03:21,699 --> 01:03:25,029
What a coincidence.
Can I give you a lift?
662
01:03:31,369 --> 01:03:33,279
Help me!
663
01:03:48,719 --> 01:03:50,379
Hands in the air!
664
01:03:50,889 --> 01:03:52,889
It's him! The white ninja!
665
01:03:53,099 --> 01:03:55,589
Do not shoot!
I am on your side.
666
01:03:59,069 --> 01:04:00,399
Let's get him!
667
01:04:03,609 --> 01:04:05,239
Come on over here.
668
01:04:07,779 --> 01:04:09,689
Get out of here!
669
01:04:09,909 --> 01:04:10,739
I got him!
670
01:04:14,459 --> 01:04:15,659
Open the door.
671
01:04:15,879 --> 01:04:17,579
Keep his head down.
672
01:04:55,869 --> 01:04:58,359
Alison, what have I done?
673
01:05:00,959 --> 01:05:03,999
He's an idiot!
I cannot do this anymore.
674
01:05:04,209 --> 01:05:07,079
I had to escape from jail!
I am coming home.
675
01:05:07,299 --> 01:05:09,669
- Do not be rash, Gobei.
- Rash?
676
01:05:09,889 --> 01:05:12,639
He's made every mistake
in the ninja book.
677
01:05:12,849 --> 01:05:16,259
He is coming.
Hide behind those clouds.
678
01:05:17,099 --> 01:05:19,089
I hate this!
679
01:05:23,819 --> 01:05:26,819
- Hello, Haru.
- Hello, sensei.
680
01:05:28,819 --> 01:05:30,309
How are you, my son?
681
01:05:30,569 --> 01:05:35,149
- I have tried, but I have failed.
- That is never true.
682
01:05:35,369 --> 01:05:39,619
I want so desperately to be
a great ninja like Gobei, but...
683
01:05:39,869 --> 01:05:42,709
Stop comparing
yourself to Gobei.
684
01:05:42,959 --> 01:05:46,539
Why, sensei?
He is the best ninja ever.
685
01:05:46,959 --> 01:05:52,249
I hope that he knows that I love him.
All I wanted was his respect.
686
01:05:52,469 --> 01:05:53,549
My son...
687
01:05:53,759 --> 01:05:57,299
...we would all be lucky
to have a heart as big as yours.
688
01:05:57,559 --> 01:05:59,679
In fact, Gobei will not become...
689
01:05:59,889 --> 01:06:03,639
...a great ninja,
until he learns that lesson.
690
01:06:03,849 --> 01:06:07,719
I tried to stop this mission
because I feared for you.
691
01:06:08,069 --> 01:06:09,729
But I was wrong.
692
01:06:09,939 --> 01:06:11,489
You must continue.
693
01:06:11,739 --> 01:06:13,559
- I must?
- Yes.
694
01:06:13,779 --> 01:06:18,409
Go. Save Alison.
It is your duty as a ninja.
695
01:06:20,199 --> 01:06:22,239
You just called me a ninja.
696
01:06:22,459 --> 01:06:24,609
Yes, I guess I did.
697
01:06:26,459 --> 01:06:27,659
Go now.
698
01:06:31,799 --> 01:06:33,079
I can do it.
699
01:07:16,429 --> 01:07:20,089
Patrice, my car.
Joey, come with me.
700
01:07:24,389 --> 01:07:26,629
Who is stealing my shoes?
701
01:07:27,439 --> 01:07:30,469
- There's no time to waste.
- I'm with you.
702
01:07:31,559 --> 01:07:33,939
- Thanks, asshole.
- My pleasure.
703
01:07:39,529 --> 01:07:42,819
- What are we doing?
- Using my ninja memory...
704
01:07:43,029 --> 01:07:46,489
...I will re-create the trip
to Tanley's warehouse.
705
01:07:47,369 --> 01:07:48,399
Drive, Joey.
706
01:07:48,619 --> 01:07:51,369
Phat! I get to drive?
All right. Come on.
707
01:07:51,579 --> 01:07:53,659
We going like Morgan Freeman.
708
01:07:54,339 --> 01:07:55,879
Now turn right.
709
01:07:58,669 --> 01:08:02,539
There was a bump. Good.
There was a right after a bump.
710
01:08:02,759 --> 01:08:04,419
Right after the bump.
711
01:08:06,639 --> 01:08:10,089
Take off the blindfold!
What's wrong with you?
712
01:08:10,309 --> 01:08:14,309
I know just where we are.
We're on the right track.
713
01:08:14,519 --> 01:08:16,759
We're on the track, all right!
714
01:08:25,329 --> 01:08:28,029
I do not remember hearing thunder.
715
01:08:29,999 --> 01:08:32,039
There's gotta be a turn somewhere!
716
01:08:32,249 --> 01:08:34,819
- Turn right, now!
- I'm turning!
717
01:08:37,999 --> 01:08:41,619
This is good. I hear water.
Now turn right.
718
01:08:44,389 --> 01:08:46,879
Now left, towards the water. Yes!
719
01:08:47,679 --> 01:08:49,719
I think we're too close to the water.
720
01:08:49,929 --> 01:08:51,719
I think we should go back.
721
01:08:51,929 --> 01:08:54,009
- You led us astray.
- I didn't!
722
01:08:54,399 --> 01:08:56,429
I cannot swim! Joey!
723
01:08:57,689 --> 01:09:00,529
We're drifting!
Something's touching my face!
724
01:09:01,319 --> 01:09:03,609
Joey, these sea creatures!
725
01:09:03,819 --> 01:09:04,899
Help me!
726
01:09:05,319 --> 01:09:08,359
- Head towards the mainland!
- Mainland?
727
01:09:08,579 --> 01:09:11,329
Yes, the mainland!
The sea is foamy.
728
01:09:11,619 --> 01:09:14,159
You have wandered way off-course!
729
01:09:17,329 --> 01:09:19,959
America's weather
fluctuates violently.
730
01:09:21,089 --> 01:09:23,459
Maybe we should go for cover.
731
01:09:24,009 --> 01:09:26,299
Joey, what is that smell?
732
01:09:27,179 --> 01:09:29,879
- PiГ±a colada.
- I like it.
733
01:09:30,299 --> 01:09:34,299
- Listen to my directions.
- I'm going where you said!
734
01:09:34,559 --> 01:09:36,799
If you cannot, I will have to drive.
735
01:09:37,769 --> 01:09:40,769
- You must listen at all times.
- I'm sorry.
736
01:09:42,979 --> 01:09:44,389
We must try again.
737
01:09:44,609 --> 01:09:48,229
And this time, you must
follow my directions exactly.
738
01:09:48,449 --> 01:09:50,239
Okay, no problem.
739
01:09:50,449 --> 01:09:52,939
- I'm ready.
- My entire family likes to drive...
740
01:09:53,199 --> 01:09:54,739
You may drive now.
741
01:09:57,249 --> 01:09:58,829
You may drive now.
742
01:10:03,169 --> 01:10:04,909
Consider yourself very lucky.
743
01:10:05,129 --> 01:10:08,329
You've lived longer than
anyone who's betrayed me.
744
01:10:08,549 --> 01:10:11,039
I brought you a present.
A little bang.
745
01:10:11,259 --> 01:10:14,049
You'll vaporize
before you feel a thing.
746
01:10:14,259 --> 01:10:16,589
I wish I'd killed you months ago.
747
01:10:16,809 --> 01:10:20,089
The feeling's mutual.
The difference is...
748
01:10:20,479 --> 01:10:23,269
...I'm able to rectify my mistake.
749
01:10:27,189 --> 01:10:29,069
Somebody help me!
750
01:10:29,279 --> 01:10:33,439
Do not let up. We are
nowhere near our destination.
751
01:10:34,659 --> 01:10:37,069
Take a left. Joey!
752
01:10:37,289 --> 01:10:39,409
Why are we stopping here?
753
01:10:43,829 --> 01:10:47,249
So we have entered
the serpent's lair.
754
01:10:52,089 --> 01:10:54,049
You are a fragile boy.
755
01:11:53,859 --> 01:11:56,349
Thank God I have a short sword.
756
01:12:06,619 --> 01:12:07,739
Yeah!
757
01:12:28,139 --> 01:12:29,969
Yeah, you go, ninja boy!
758
01:12:37,109 --> 01:12:41,569
Yeah! Mr. Dojo Rising!
Go for it!
759
01:13:14,689 --> 01:13:16,099
I made it.
760
01:13:16,319 --> 01:13:18,849
If it isn't
the Great White Ninja.
761
01:13:19,069 --> 01:13:21,989
Welcome. Congratulations on
coming this far...
762
01:13:22,199 --> 01:13:25,279
...but this is where
your legend ends.
763
01:13:27,449 --> 01:13:31,779
Only when I have ceased to breathe
will I be dead.
764
01:13:32,919 --> 01:13:34,239
Get rid of him.
765
01:14:04,149 --> 01:14:06,989
- Why are you here?
- I come to help you.
766
01:14:08,319 --> 01:14:11,739
This is my dream.
Let us kick some yakuza ass!
767
01:14:39,559 --> 01:14:43,179
That's right. I can climb.
I can climb!
768
01:14:49,159 --> 01:14:50,569
So sorry, Gobei.
769
01:14:53,699 --> 01:14:55,739
You should go save Alison.
770
01:14:57,539 --> 01:15:00,789
- Can you manage without me?
- I will try.
771
01:15:13,259 --> 01:15:15,339
Somebody help me!
772
01:15:16,929 --> 01:15:18,889
Alison, is that you?
773
01:15:19,099 --> 01:15:20,979
Yes! Help me!
774
01:15:21,189 --> 01:15:22,219
All right!
775
01:15:22,649 --> 01:15:23,759
Hurry!
776
01:15:23,979 --> 01:15:25,519
Please hurry!
777
01:15:29,859 --> 01:15:30,979
Stop!
778
01:15:37,489 --> 01:15:39,739
Can you come closer?
I'll untie you.
779
01:15:39,959 --> 01:15:43,069
There's no time.
There's a bomb in here.
780
01:15:43,629 --> 01:15:46,539
Have no fear.
I will defuse the bomb.
781
01:15:53,469 --> 01:15:54,839
I can see now.
782
01:15:55,799 --> 01:15:57,049
It is simple.
783
01:15:57,259 --> 01:16:01,759
- Do you know what you're doing?
- There, I have done it!
784
01:16:02,099 --> 01:16:04,719
Your call cannot be completed
as dialled.
785
01:16:04,939 --> 01:16:07,609
Please check the number
and dial again.
786
01:16:15,609 --> 01:16:17,409
Oh, great.
787
01:16:17,619 --> 01:16:20,449
- We've lost five minutes.
- Oops.
788
01:16:24,869 --> 01:16:25,989
Brother!
789
01:16:29,539 --> 01:16:31,169
My dove, hang on!
790
01:16:35,679 --> 01:16:37,469
How much time is left?
791
01:16:38,679 --> 01:16:39,839
Four minutes.
792
01:16:42,559 --> 01:16:44,299
Do not worry.
793
01:16:44,519 --> 01:16:46,059
I will return.
794
01:16:59,869 --> 01:17:03,319
I may not be the best ninja
or one with the universe.
795
01:17:03,539 --> 01:17:04,699
But I'll tell you this:
796
01:17:05,499 --> 01:17:08,369
No one messes with my brother!
797
01:17:28,849 --> 01:17:30,009
Go! Yeah!
798
01:17:33,519 --> 01:17:34,799
Look out!
799
01:17:39,949 --> 01:17:40,809
So sorry.
800
01:17:45,239 --> 01:17:47,149
Here I come!
801
01:17:50,539 --> 01:17:52,369
Are you all right, my brother?
802
01:17:52,709 --> 01:17:53,909
Yes, Haru.
803
01:18:14,059 --> 01:18:16,099
Nicely done, Joey.
804
01:18:49,179 --> 01:18:50,969
Hurry!
805
01:19:04,069 --> 01:19:05,809
Martin Tanley.
806
01:19:14,329 --> 01:19:15,609
I'm over here.
807
01:19:18,329 --> 01:19:20,289
Now you're out of bullets.
808
01:19:21,879 --> 01:19:23,419
Look out!
809
01:20:04,959 --> 01:20:06,369
Come on!
810
01:20:12,259 --> 01:20:13,209
Do not worry.
811
01:20:13,429 --> 01:20:15,879
Forty seconds.
812
01:20:26,189 --> 01:20:27,569
Get out of there!
813
01:20:30,239 --> 01:20:34,189
- Thirty seconds!
- Hang in there, my dove.
814
01:20:34,409 --> 01:20:37,189
In a moment, you'll be
as free as a bird.
815
01:21:25,749 --> 01:21:26,909
Are we dead?
816
01:21:28,709 --> 01:21:29,869
You did it.
817
01:21:30,289 --> 01:21:32,539
- I did?
- Yes.
818
01:21:32,799 --> 01:21:34,999
Thank you, Haru.
Thank you.
819
01:21:35,219 --> 01:21:37,459
I cannot say this has been
an easy mission.
820
01:21:39,349 --> 01:21:42,599
You are the greatest ninja
of all time.
821
01:21:42,809 --> 01:21:46,009
Believe it or not, I doubted myself.
822
01:21:49,479 --> 01:21:51,719
What a fool I was.
823
01:21:57,399 --> 01:21:59,529
Thanks, big brother.
It's all right.
824
01:21:59,739 --> 01:22:02,579
- You did good.
- Thank you, big brother.
825
01:22:02,779 --> 01:22:06,489
Sorry about your head.
I was going for Tanley.
826
01:22:06,709 --> 01:22:11,409
A group of ninjas foiled an
attempted counterfeiting operation.
827
01:22:11,629 --> 01:22:14,159
I am live with
one of those ninjas.
828
01:22:14,379 --> 01:22:18,379
This may be odd, but I
thought ninjas were Japanese...
829
01:22:18,589 --> 01:22:20,799
...and you seem to be black.
830
01:22:21,009 --> 01:22:25,139
Don't be fooled by my skin colour.
You're a TV reporter.
831
01:22:25,349 --> 01:22:28,219
You've heard of
the Great Black Ninja?
832
01:22:28,429 --> 01:22:32,509
- No. Is that you?
- Some say it is so.
833
01:22:38,529 --> 01:22:41,689
You have done well, Haru.
I am proud.
834
01:22:41,949 --> 01:22:47,019
Great White Ninja or not,
you made me believe in myself.
835
01:22:47,239 --> 01:22:52,669
Though it will sadden me to see you
leave, I am happy for you.
836
01:22:52,999 --> 01:22:57,459
I know I will be of better
use where there's no great ninjas.
837
01:22:57,669 --> 01:23:02,709
I'll go with my dove to the land
of opportunity, Beverly Hills.
838
01:23:08,059 --> 01:23:13,129
Whether you're the chosen one or not,
I'd fight alongside you.
839
01:23:14,689 --> 01:23:15,849
Here.
840
01:23:18,729 --> 01:23:20,309
Good luck, my brother.
841
01:23:23,199 --> 01:23:25,189
My arm!
It's okay.
842
01:23:29,409 --> 01:23:31,199
Alison and I must leave.
843
01:23:32,079 --> 01:23:33,819
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye!
844
01:23:38,749 --> 01:23:41,999
It's amazing.
I think he's really changed.
845
01:23:52,269 --> 01:23:53,379
Stop!
846
01:23:56,559 --> 01:23:59,349
Stop! Are you listening...?
Give me my medallion back!
847
01:24:04,439 --> 01:24:05,939
Hi, Gobei.
848
01:24:19,079 --> 01:24:21,789
I am sorry, big brother!
61777
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
