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1
00:00:06,047 --> 00:00:08,258
Iris, trajectory.
And make it good news.
2
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:09,384
Liquid fuel reserves
3
00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:10,969
are insufficient
to correct our course--
4
00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:12,595
Then we'll think
of something else, Iris.
5
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:13,722
Something scientific.
6
00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,391
TV RYAN CLARK: How can
so much light...
7
00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:18,518
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
8
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:19,602
...feel so dark?
9
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,855
The sun gave our ancestors life.
10
00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:25,900
The fuck we gonna let it
bring us death.
11
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:27,610
-I agree.
-♪ (MUSIC STOP ABRUPTLY) ♪
12
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:28,945
-HERMAN JUDD: You see that?
-MADS: Yeah.
13
00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:32,407
It's my TV show,
and I'm barely even in it. Look.
14
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:33,575
I agree.
15
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:34,993
I concur.
16
00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:36,119
I think so too.
17
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:39,497
-Embrace the fear, always.-I absolutely agree.
18
00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:41,124
HERMAN: Why does he agree
with everything
19
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:42,667
-that's said to him.
-You hate agreeing.
20
00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:46,129
Exactly! I-- You know what,
I don't understand this.
21
00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:48,006
Why doesn't Iris go up to them
22
00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:49,841
and tell them about all
the cool shit I do?
23
00:00:49,924 --> 00:00:50,967
Not to be unkind,
24
00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:53,261
but you don't actually do
that much cool shit.
25
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:54,471
What are you talking about?
26
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,347
The whole time I've known you,
you've done, like,
27
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:59,309
-maybe one piece of cool shit.
-Which? Uh, you mean, uh...
28
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:01,561
-The time you crushed
the soda can.
-...crushing the soda can?
29
00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:03,354
Oh, man, that was so badass.
30
00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:04,731
You need to get crushing.
31
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:08,443
-(DEVICE CHIMES)
-I agree.
32
00:01:08,526 --> 00:01:11,780
♪ ("AVENUE 5"
THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
33
00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:18,495
♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
34
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:21,331
Oh, my Go--
Fifty-seven more eels dead
35
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:22,624
-overnight.
-RYAN CLARK: Ugh.
36
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,209
MATT SPENCER: God,
all that unfulfilled potential.
37
00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:25,877
You think about
what they could've been.
38
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:28,087
Food, Matt.
They could have been food.
39
00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:31,508
MATT: Hey, there's a dot
on the horizon.
40
00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:34,093
I mean, we just avoided one sun.
41
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:35,470
Are we going
for best out of three?
42
00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:37,180
Matt, will you shut
your doom hole?
43
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:38,640
We're trying to suppress
those mem--
44
00:01:38,723 --> 00:01:41,935
There's a dot.
Is that a good dot or a bad dot?
45
00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:43,686
I bring news. We have a dot.
46
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,438
We know. Is it good?
Is it a good dot?
47
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,315
Most likely
a military space station.
48
00:01:47,398 --> 00:01:49,317
-It's conga time, folks!
-Ooh-ho!
49
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,820
Oh, my gosh!
Intelligent crew members.
50
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:53,530
They could help us
fix the eel tank.
51
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:54,989
(CHUCKLES)
I mean, the guys, I work with,
52
00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:57,659
it's like someone drew eyes
on a sock.
53
00:01:57,742 --> 00:02:00,870
-No... No offence.
-And new friends! (CHUCKLES)
54
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,831
-Did I say that out loud?
-BILLIE MCEVOY: Yeah.
55
00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:06,835
-Herman Judd on deck!
-Here to crush shit up.
56
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:10,213
Not now, Judd. We have got
an actual space station.
57
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,674
This is-- This is hope,
right here.
58
00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:14,551
-Uh...
-♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
59
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:17,971
Bridge crew, set a course
for that space station.
60
00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:19,556
Never mind the speed limit.
61
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,432
You heard the boss.
Let's make human contact.
62
00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:23,601
-New people, people.
-I agree!
63
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:25,728
Oh, I actually do this time.
64
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,355
RYAN: Which one is it?
It's that one?
65
00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:29,065
-Right there.
-(BUTTON BEEPS)
66
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,650
(IN AMERICAN ACCENT)
Stormfalcon.
67
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:33,736
This is Captain Ryan Clark
of Avenue 5.
68
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:37,866
Our eel tanks are fucked.
Can you help us? Over.
69
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:40,368
JOHANNA: (IN ENGLISH ACCENT)
This is Johannafrom the Stormfalcon.
70
00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:41,661
What seems to be the problem?
71
00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:43,371
Okay, tell her that the
nanofilters are on the fritz,
72
00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:45,874
-that the tension stat's blown--
-Ask if they have
any shoe deodorizer.
73
00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:47,542
Will you shut the fuck up?
Both of you.
74
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:49,961
(INTERCOM BEEPS)
75
00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:52,130
(IN ENGLISH ACCENT)
Johanna, how lovely
to hear an English voice.
76
00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:54,257
Uh, listen, I wonder
if we can do this face to face.
77
00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:57,010
I could come over with some
improvised icebreakers,
78
00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:58,803
maybe a tray
of home-baked protein.
79
00:02:58,887 --> 00:02:59,971
(INTERCOM BEEPS)
80
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,895
(RADIO STATIC)
81
00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:11,649
JOHANNA: Copy that.Ready and waiting.
82
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:14,527
-What's her problem?
-Now, we need a delegation
83
00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:17,071
with the requisite
social skills.
84
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:18,197
I could go.
85
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,116
I'm a virtuostic
conversationalist. Self-taught.
86
00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:23,036
-Billie, Matt, Spike. Let's go.
-Yeah, keep the number small.
87
00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:25,246
Smart. Okay. Away, team!
88
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:31,711
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
89
00:03:32,211 --> 00:03:33,212
(AIR HISSES)
90
00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:34,422
SPIKE MARTIN: Stay frosty.
91
00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:37,884
Space marines, tough as fuck
and twice as big.
92
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:44,098
Hello!
Welcome to the Stormfalcon.
93
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,225
-Lovely to see you.
-Hi.
94
00:03:47,226 --> 00:03:49,854
Uh, on behalf of the people
of Avenue 5,
95
00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:51,064
we brought flapjack.
96
00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:54,567
Wow, thanks. We love anything
cooked in a rectangle.
97
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,152
A bit too much, some of us.
98
00:03:56,235 --> 00:03:58,112
-(CHUCKLES)
-JOHANNA: Come on through.
99
00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:00,073
So, you've gotta ask
for the chief engineer
100
00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:02,867
-as soon as possible,
so that we can get straight--
-Billie! Billie! Yes, let's--
101
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,369
Let's do the human stuff first.
102
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,621
JOHANNA: Uh,
this is our main lounge area.
103
00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:08,539
It gets a bit wild
when the jigsaws are out.
104
00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:12,168
Well, this is, uh, surprising
for a, uh, military facility.
105
00:04:12,251 --> 00:04:14,504
Oh no, actually,
we're a science unit.
106
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:17,090
Military? (CHUCKLES)
I wouldn't fancy my chances
107
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,758
of passing the physical.
(CHUCKLES)
108
00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:21,177
MATT: God,
it's so civilized here.
109
00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:22,595
Avenue 5 is a cultural void.
110
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,430
We have a problem
with toddler combat.
111
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,349
That is a bit
of an exaggeration.
112
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,017
-Toddler combat?
-MATT: Yeah,
113
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,520
kids so starved of stimuli
that they've started
114
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:33,064
kind of a cage fighting thing
in the soft play area.
115
00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,316
It doesn't sound great
when you put it like that.
116
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,318
But there's a lot
of adult supervision.
117
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:39,862
Sometimes crowds of
up to 50, 60 people.
118
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,155
I'm gonna come clean.
119
00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:44,909
We are just such huge fans
of the show about you.
120
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,245
-Huh?
-Oh, tha-- the-- yes, yes.
121
00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:51,249
"How can so much light
feel so dark?"
122
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:52,834
-Is that one of the... the--
-Yes.
123
00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:54,919
You-- you know,
um, one of my favorite lines
124
00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:58,881
that he does is,
"Can you help fix the eel tank?"
125
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,300
Sorry, which one are you
in the... in the show?
126
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:05,555
Oh, Billie. Uh, Billie McEvoy.
Chief science officer.
127
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,056
RYAN: Really,
is that what you are?
128
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,391
-Yes.
-JOHANNA: Are you sure?
129
00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:10,601
Because on the show, she has
a much more pleasant energy.
130
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,895
-(PEDESTAL SQUEAKS)
-JOHANNA: Yeah, that's her.
131
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,981
That's-- that's her,
and I think...
132
00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:16,357
Yeah, there she is, too.
133
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:20,486
(CHUCKLES) No, she can't even
spell "science." Or "eels."
134
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,865
Oh, eels. I think
we can help you with that.
135
00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:26,367
Uh, this is Lyle,
our resident physicist,
136
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,870
freethinker,
and all-around nonconformist.
137
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:31,914
I find traditional methods
of thought too rigid. Sue me!
138
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,959
Captain, would you care to stay
for supper?
139
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,919
-Bring some plus ones.
-Oh, we really can't
140
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,421
because the eels
are actually in cris--
141
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:39,922
Billie, human.
142
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,508
You know, that would be
absolutely delightful.
143
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:43,593
Well, I could whip up some
144
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:45,762
calcium phosphate noodles
in the emulsifier.
145
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:48,097
You should meet Frank.
Frank is our you.
146
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,266
Sad eyes. Phenomenal omelets.
147
00:05:50,349 --> 00:05:52,477
Captain, let me show you
some long chain fatty acids
148
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:53,853
we were looking at
the other day.
149
00:05:53,936 --> 00:05:55,605
And obviously you checked
the solenoid valve,
150
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:56,606
they clog up faster
151
00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:58,066
-than a gas station toilet.
-Yes!
152
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:02,320
You really do know your stuff.
I mean, God! I miss competence.
153
00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,781
Um, I'm a bit
of a maverick myself.
154
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:06,866
(CHUCKLES)
Check the old neck warmer.
155
00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:09,994
(CHUCKLES) Friend,
that's not a ponytail.
156
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:12,455
This is a ponytail.
157
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,665
Wow. Spike Martin.
158
00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:18,044
Fifth Canadian on Mars?
Never heard of him. (CHUCKLES)
159
00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:20,463
Yeah, yeah, that's me.
160
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,340
LUCAS SATO: Come on,
give me something else,
161
00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:23,674
something better.
162
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,760
Look, I've been riding this
lithium thing for you, bareback.
163
00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:28,137
-I should be on that list!
-Which list?
164
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:31,140
Time magazine's "50 Most Tragic
Middle Managers"?
165
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,142
Yes to the coffee, no to you.
166
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,894
IRIS KIMURA: Look, we've got
one last supply shuttle
167
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:37,146
-before they're out of range--
-Why are you still here?
168
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,272
I'm busy.
169
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:39,941
Right, these windows
aren't gonna lick themselves.
170
00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:41,526
What's wrong?
171
00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:45,863
I can smell fear,
and... is it burritos?
172
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:49,367
-What are you hiding?
-All right.
173
00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:50,743
You want in
on a little Armageddon.
174
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,954
-(DOOR SLAMS)
-LUCAS: Fine.
175
00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:56,415
Earth is running out of lithium.
Now you know.
176
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:57,875
So there'll be
no supply shuttle,
177
00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:59,168
there'll be no nothing.
178
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,546
Wait, I saw documentaries
about lithium shortages,
179
00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:03,089
but I thought
they were just documentaries.
180
00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:05,508
Without lithium, you can say
goodbye to banks
181
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,343
and telecoms and computers,
and you can say hello
182
00:07:07,426 --> 00:07:08,845
to wearing
untreated animal skins
183
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,596
and wiping your ass with leaves.
184
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,850
I am not saying hello to that.
Or shaking your hand.
185
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,852
Fuck it, maybe I'll get
on that last shuttle.
186
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:18,312
Who can blame you?
This must be exhausting for you.
187
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,648
-(GROANS)
-IRIS: See!
188
00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:22,692
Maybe, you just need
to... (GRUNTS) ...rest.
189
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:25,236
Ass to the left.
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
190
00:07:25,319 --> 00:07:28,072
All right, I'm platituded out.
And I drugged your coffee.
191
00:07:28,906 --> 00:07:30,658
-Is it?
-Hmm.
192
00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:32,743
-Yeah.
-(INHALES SHARPLY)
193
00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:35,621
And... there he goes.
194
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:40,251
Leaving on shuttle, immediately.
Standard meal, non-insectoid.
195
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:43,171
RYAN: Meet some of our finestand most available.
196
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:44,964
This is, uh, this is Frank.
197
00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:46,549
-JOHANNA: Hello.
-Frank has a cookery show
198
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:47,717
on our ship, called--
199
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,719
what's it called, Frank?
Leave It Alone, is it?
200
00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:51,053
-Let It Settle.
-RYAN: Let It Settle.
201
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,430
Live from the Frank Tank.
202
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,140
-(CHUCKLES)
-What-- what kind of cuisine?
203
00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:55,808
Tell us about
the cuisine, Frank.
204
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,643
Uh, it's high flavor,
low voltage.
205
00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,855
I use only
hotel cabin appliances,
206
00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:01,856
and love.
207
00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:03,441
Oh, that's what you do
with your love.
208
00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:05,610
Okay, um, we just lost
another eel.
209
00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:10,114
-Eel Patrick Harris is dead.
-Oh, no. He was great.
210
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:12,283
-I love your earrings.
-Great earrings.
211
00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:14,327
Frank is the genius.
I'm barely here.
212
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:17,038
It's just Frank Kelly
and His Invisible Wife.
213
00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:18,998
(CHUCKLES) So you can move on.
214
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:20,666
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
215
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:24,253
Unbelievable.
The attitude on that bitch.
216
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,588
Attitude.
217
00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:26,714
Okay, I'm panicking.
218
00:08:26,797 --> 00:08:28,090
I know I said
I wanted to meet new people,
219
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,425
but I'm really not
very good at this.
220
00:08:29,508 --> 00:08:30,426
Okay, deep breaths.
221
00:08:30,509 --> 00:08:32,345
-Easy, tiger.
-This is Rav.
222
00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:35,097
-JOHANNA: Good to meet you.
-Hello to you.
223
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:38,184
Oh, I like your hands. Um...
Left and right, classic.
224
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:41,604
Yes. Yes, thank you.
225
00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,397
Rav, for fuck's sake,
get your chap sorted.
226
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:44,398
Sorry. Sorry.
227
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:46,234
How would you rate Judd
on the TV show?
228
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:49,028
Judd. The owner of the ship.
Herman Judd. "I agree."
229
00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:50,446
Oh, the agreement guy.
230
00:08:50,529 --> 00:08:52,156
He doesn't really
add very much.
231
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:56,369
Hmm. Yeah. And you do? Hmm.
If anything, you subtract.
232
00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:57,995
You know,
I get into a bit of a pickle
233
00:08:58,079 --> 00:08:59,413
and then I feel
hyper self-conscious
234
00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:01,791
-about everything that I say.
-Rav, the key to small talk
235
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:04,794
is pretending that you have
no sexuality and no aggression.
236
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,629
Okay? Ready? Oh, here we go.
237
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:07,922
-RAV MULCAIR: Hi.
-Hi, hi.
238
00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,048
Can we say that anymore?
239
00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:10,800
God knows what we can say
these days, right?
240
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:11,842
What do you want?
241
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,135
(PLATES CLAPPING)
242
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:17,640
Okay, people. If you could all
please take off your shoes
243
00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:21,102
and take one of the pairs
of moccasins provided.
244
00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:22,645
Would it be okay
if I keep mine on?
245
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:23,938
I've got a bit of a cavus foot.
246
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:25,564
So I need
these orthotic inserts.
247
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,441
Right, yeah,
he needs a rigid sole
248
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,026
to support his high arches.
249
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:31,320
-Right, Captain?
-Yes. That's... That's right.
250
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,407
Uh, but if you have a clog
or Japanese water sandals?
251
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:36,492
Soft-soled shoes
are the best practice.
252
00:09:36,575 --> 00:09:38,953
(SHUSHES) Paula.
(CLEARS THROAT)
253
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:41,914
You will be fine
in your socks, Captain.
254
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:44,625
Everyone else!
If you wouldn't mind.
255
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,377
JUDD: Good call.
256
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,297
-♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
257
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:52,925
Oh, and that "collision course
for the sun" episode,
258
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,261
it was so dramatic,
I clenched so hard,
259
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,722
-I shattered a rear molar.
-Did you? Really? Well...
260
00:09:57,805 --> 00:09:59,974
You know, I actually didn't see
that episode
261
00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:04,020
because I was too busy watching
our eels suffocate to death.
262
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,022
-Okay, okay.
-Yeah, dumpling,
263
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:08,274
we really should do something
about the eels.
264
00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:09,317
-Dumpling?
-Honey,
265
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:10,860
do we need to talk
about this "Ryan" thing?
266
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:12,028
-(BILLIE MUTTERING)
-I know, I know.
267
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:14,030
Oh, sure.
And let's tell our new friends
268
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:16,365
that you kept me locked
in a cabin for six months.
269
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,784
Okay, now that you mention it,
yes, there's big tension
270
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,536
-between you and Ryan.
-Thank you.
271
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:24,248
-No, our eels are fucking dying!
-All right, all right. Johanna--
272
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,667
You know what I miss
most of all?
273
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,544
-My dogs.
-Dogs?
274
00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:30,421
(CHUCKLING) I love dogs,
you have dogs?
275
00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:32,089
-(CHUCKLES) I have beagles.
-No!
276
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,424
And I have photos.
277
00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:36,135
(CHUCKLES) She has beagles,
let me see.
278
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:38,387
Ooh. (CHUCKLES)
You're not gonna see that one.
279
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,681
(GASPS)
280
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:43,309
(CHUCKLES) Oh, my God,
look at his little nose.
281
00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:46,687
Oh, my God. I bet it tastes
like cake. (CHUCKLES)
282
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,397
-He looks like a right laugh.
-(CHUCKLES)
283
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,025
I want to own my own kennel,
like, one day.
284
00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:52,777
Just have a buttload of dogs.
285
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:54,236
So many dogs
that the local kids go,
286
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,740
"Oh, look, there's that stinky
old dog lady! Get her!"
287
00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:59,617
(LAUGHS) I'd love that.
288
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,243
How did I get dumped
at the Judas end
289
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:02,536
of The Last Supper, huh?
290
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:08,292
Uh, hey, Ryan. Hey, Ryan.
Hey, Ryan. Hey!
291
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,421
So, what are you guys
talking about down there?
292
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,048
RYAN: We're talking about dogs.
293
00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:15,883
-Dog, doggos.
-(CHUCKLES)
294
00:11:15,966 --> 00:11:21,722
You know, uh, when you see
dogs running in their dreams...
295
00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:24,725
they're not, they're drumming.
296
00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:26,977
I read that.
297
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:34,110
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
298
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:37,154
NATHAN BASIC: So, anyway,
you add just like a soupcon
299
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:38,447
of polyvinyl rubbing alcohol
300
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,866
just... just to give it
a nuttier finish.
301
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,785
We should do a show on the ship.
302
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:45,079
Trade recipes.
What do you think, dumpling?
303
00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:46,372
Have we met before?
304
00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:49,041
Uh, no, I don't think so.
Um, Nathan Basic.
305
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,293
I've... I've got
an aggressively generic face.
306
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:52,920
I promise I'll bring him back
in one piece.
307
00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:56,715
Oh, sure, be his guest.
Like I was.
308
00:11:56,799 --> 00:12:00,678
Oh, Frank's leaving. Hey, Frank,
mind if I get in on that action?
309
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:02,721
IRIS: So, I'm leaving
on the shuttle.
310
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:07,101
Yeah, I am confirming it.
This is me confirming it.
311
00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:08,978
What's your name?
Do you want to be confirmed?
312
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:11,230
Because I will
fucking confirm you.
313
00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:13,649
Thank you.
Have a nice life, Shelly.
314
00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:15,609
Let's go.
315
00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:18,529
-Actually, it's automatic.
-Just hit go.
316
00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:20,364
Okay, it's a little more complex
than that.
317
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,202
Go.
318
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:29,290
(ENGINE RUMBLING)
319
00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:30,958
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
320
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:34,503
Smooth jazz. Rough coffee.
Fieldstrip a macerator pump.
321
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,839
Perfect Sunday.
Let me top you up.
322
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:41,594
This guy, seriously.
He's so wise.
323
00:12:41,677 --> 00:12:43,012
Buddy, is this true love?
324
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,763
Have you finally found
your hair-mate?
325
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:47,641
I've found my people.
Listen, brace yourself,
326
00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:48,809
I'm leaving Avenue 5.
327
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:53,147
Sure. Um, can you
hand me the wine? Mm-hmm.
328
00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:56,817
-Thanks.
-Dumpling, how's your reflux?
329
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,861
He tends to bloat
after evening meals.
330
00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:03,073
I do n... Karen, my enzymes
are none of your business.
331
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,159
Sometimes, I just wanna
put him across my knee
332
00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:06,994
and burp him like a baby.
(CHUCKLES)
333
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:08,078
Oh, Christ.
334
00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:10,539
Um, listen...
335
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,000
you may have noticed
a certain crackle in the air
336
00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:14,251
between me and the captain?
337
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,295
Oh, no, no,
I haven't noticed anything.
338
00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:18,797
No, you have.
It's been overpowering
339
00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:21,217
and it's ruined
the whole evening.
340
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,010
I literally haven't noticed
anything.
341
00:13:23,093 --> 00:13:25,137
I'd like to
respectfully disagree.
342
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:26,055
Okay.
343
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:27,640
MATT: Paula,
can I just tell you,
344
00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:29,892
I really admire your stoicism.
345
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:32,144
'Cause you guys
are all stoic as fuck.
346
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,730
-(PAULA CHUCKLES)
-Like-- like the, uh,
moccasins thing.
347
00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:35,981
The way you all
go along with it.
348
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:39,193
Oh, we're all very happy
to oblige.
349
00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:41,737
-Uh, Rav, would you like to...
-RAV: Um...
350
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,364
Yeah, I mean, it...
(CLEARS THROAT) ...makes sense
351
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:45,491
with, uh, you know,
cutting down the... (GASPS)
352
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:46,784
...wear and tear of carpets.
353
00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:48,536
Uh, no, no, I don't even think
it's really about the...
354
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:49,787
the... the carpeting, right?
355
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:52,039
Johanna bangs these plates
together,
356
00:13:52,122 --> 00:13:55,167
everyone takes their shoes off.
It's, like, uh, Pavlovian.
357
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,919
(CHUCKLES)
Let's keep it light, Matt.
358
00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:58,170
This is a chat,
not a show trial.
359
00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:00,631
Are-- are you saying
this isn't about the carpets?
360
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:03,592
That it's, what,
some coercive control thing?
361
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,178
-Yeah.
-(BOWL CLANGING)
362
00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,097
Shall we bring out
363
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,683
the thermophilic
cheese cultures?
364
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:13,269
Hear that, enzymes? Red alert.
Here it comes.
365
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,270
(LAUGHTER)
366
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:15,646
-(CAMERA BEEPS)
-Yes. Okay.
367
00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:16,897
Come, come, come. Come on.
368
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:19,400
Now, we're recording
for primetime tonight.
369
00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:21,151
It's not late night,
so please don't curse
370
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,861
or handle the meat
at waist level.
371
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:24,738
This is a great cabin,
by the way.
372
00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:26,073
So much better than my hovel.
373
00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:28,742
Yeah, we based the design
on a dream that I had
374
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:30,828
-when I was a--
-Okay, and we're rolling.
375
00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:31,954
On today's edition,
376
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:34,748
we have a very special guest,
Mr. Nathan Basic.
377
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,292
There's the camera, Nathan. Yep.
378
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,210
And we are going
to be making venison
379
00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:42,131
in... a travel kettle.
380
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:43,632
JUDD: What a great recipe.
381
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,427
Does Nathan Basic look familiar
to you?
382
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:47,386
Who?
383
00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:49,179
KAREN KELLY:
It's saying "classified."
384
00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:50,264
Ooh, I love a mystery.
385
00:14:50,347 --> 00:14:51,390
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
386
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,142
Have you tried, uh,
putting in the passcode?
387
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:54,643
No.
388
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,646
So, can you tell me
about the real Captain Ryan?
389
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,565
KAREN: He's not so much a person
390
00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:02,192
as a puzzle you have to crack.
391
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:04,528
He is as playful as a seal.
392
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,447
(WHISPERING)
Shit me a houseboat.
393
00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:10,659
So, Nathan, what is
your basic approach to food?
394
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:11,785
JUDD: Ha ha, good one!
395
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,912
Well, I like to use
the whole carcass, Frank.
396
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:14,997
You know, nose to toes.
397
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,957
I mean, why... why waste
all that good flesh?
398
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,125
JUDD: Totally agree with that.
399
00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:21,128
If a chicken dies of a stroke,
do you toss it away?
400
00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:23,422
No, you don't.
You stuff it and you roast it.
401
00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:25,716
So why do we treat our family
any differently?
402
00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:27,926
Totally agree. Wait, what?
403
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:31,639
(LAUGHS) Are we talking
about people here?
404
00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:33,349
Well, it's
a difficult conversation.
405
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:35,768
♪ (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
406
00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:37,686
I've been thinking,
and I'd like to try
407
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,272
wearing my outdoor shoes
in the mess hall.
408
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:43,734
Sure. Where's this
coming from, please?
409
00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:45,736
Uh... Ryan, quick update.
410
00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:49,448
This is a space prison.
Repeat, a space prison.
411
00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:53,952
-What? What is-- What? What?
-It's black ops.
412
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,663
These are people considered
too dangerous
413
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:56,997
to be housed on Earth.
414
00:15:57,998 --> 00:15:59,708
What? Are you sure?
415
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,502
They have
a selection of cheeses.
416
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:03,462
Mm-hmm.
417
00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:06,048
Listen to me.
We've been over this
418
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,216
a thousand fucking times, Paula.
419
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:10,177
It is a low-density pile,
so sit down and shut up.
420
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:16,517
♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
421
00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:19,812
(KNIFE SCRAPES)
422
00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:23,524
(LOUD SNAP)
423
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,401
-RAV: Oh...
-Oh, God.
424
00:16:26,735 --> 00:16:29,363
RAV: (WHISPERING) Ryan. Ryan.
425
00:16:29,446 --> 00:16:31,573
-Ryan!
-Sorry, I'm just internalizing
426
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,158
a lot of panic and fear
right now.
427
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:34,410
(BREATHES SHAKILY) Yeah.
428
00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:37,788
But now I've done that,
and I'm back in the room.
429
00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:39,415
Okay. Good. Read.
430
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,709
"Octuple homicide,
431
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:43,210
-with an ice cream scoop."
-(CHUCKLES)
432
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:47,756
"Wore his mother's wedding dress
and her head."
433
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:48,924
Yep, yep, yep.
434
00:16:49,007 --> 00:16:52,886
"Buried them under the funfair."
"Stole their feet."
435
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:55,264
Swipe, there's photos. Photos.
436
00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:56,765
-Oh!
-Hmm.
437
00:16:58,016 --> 00:17:00,811
(EXHALES SHARPLY) My eyes
have just shat themselves.
438
00:17:03,063 --> 00:17:04,189
Oh, boy.
439
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,567
Well, I-- I think I might, uh...
440
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:08,360
wear some of those moccasins
after all.
441
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:11,238
Good idea. I will cover for you.
442
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:15,576
So... (INHALES SHARPLY)
443
00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:17,411
-Uh, Karen.
-RAV: Guys.
444
00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:20,289
-Excuse me.
-RYAN: (WHISPERING) Guys.
445
00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:23,792
(CHUCKLES) Listen, I'm gonna
tell you something now,
446
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,961
and it's very important
that they don't know
447
00:17:26,044 --> 00:17:28,297
what it is that I'm telling you.
All right, so...
448
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:29,798
so when I wink...
449
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,383
-(CHUCKLES)
-(CHUCKLES)
450
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:34,136
...I need you to laugh,
understood?
451
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:37,181
-Mm-hmm.
-I've just been informed
452
00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:39,600
that we are--
get-- get ready to laugh--
453
00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:42,269
surrounded by--
ready to laugh--
454
00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:46,398
dozens of convicted psychopaths.
455
00:17:50,944 --> 00:17:54,198
Wait, what? I don't get it.
Was that a joke or...
456
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:56,241
No, that's-- No.
457
00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:58,952
Uh, you're supposed to laugh
458
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:01,663
so they don't know
what I've just told you.
459
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,123
The guy
that Frank just left with
460
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:06,627
is the Denver Cannibal.
He ate 19 people.
461
00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:09,797
They found 36 thumbs
in his basement.
462
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,091
Oh, my God,
Frank is petrified of cannibals.
463
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,843
-That's 38.
-RAV: What?
464
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,762
-RYAN: What?
-Nineteen people,
465
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:18,388
that'd be 38 thumbs.
You said 36.
466
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:20,766
I don't know! I can't do
the fucking thumb arithmetic.
467
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:22,476
Well, he might've used
the last two
468
00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:24,269
as, uh, like wine stoppers.
469
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:27,981
Okay, Sally,
that nice lady over there.
470
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:31,443
No, don't look. She bludgeoned
her mother to death
471
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:34,613
-with her father.
-She bludgeoned a parent
472
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:36,532
-with another parent?
-RAV: Yes, yes.
473
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:39,576
Okay, well, at least they died
in each other's arms.
474
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,620
And who are we to condemn
the butterfly
475
00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:43,664
for the crimes
of the caterpillar?
476
00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:47,459
Uh, Johanna killed and raped
her nine beagles.
477
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,670
-(GASPS)
-Okay, fuck that.
478
00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:50,838
We need to leave.
479
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:53,590
Hold on, because she told me
she groomed them.
480
00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:55,175
Extraction plan.
481
00:18:57,135 --> 00:18:59,847
Shoes on and then very slowly
482
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,223
move towards the door
483
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:03,559
without aggravating
the psychopaths.
484
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:07,646
-(CHUCKLES) Okay, good.
-(ALL CHUCKLE)
485
00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:09,439
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
486
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:11,859
(ALL CHUCKLING)
487
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:15,362
-RYAN: (CHUCKLING) Right? Right?
-MATT: (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
488
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:17,155
You should see the commode.
489
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:19,825
Got more bells and whistles
than a fairground.
490
00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:22,119
Spike, the ship is full
of murderers.
491
00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:24,413
-We're fucking off.
-You mean Lyle?
492
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,957
-Lyle's not a murderer.
-What-- So I chose a good one?
493
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,376
He's a pedophile.
494
00:19:29,459 --> 00:19:32,838
(GROANS) I... I...
I need to bathe in bleach.
495
00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:35,299
Shit, they've taken our shoes
so we can't get away.
496
00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:38,176
I can't get the image of those
little doggies out of my mind.
497
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,761
And there she is,
standing over them
498
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:41,096
with lubricant and a brick.
499
00:19:41,179 --> 00:19:42,431
Billie, Billie,
shoes, shoes, come on.
500
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:43,765
JOHANNA:
Going somewhere, Captain?
501
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,768
We were just stoning some plums.
502
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,353
Oh, that sounds...
503
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:50,898
That's-- Uh, yes.
504
00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:52,524
But I need to use the bathroom
505
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,860
and it's-- it's better
if I use my own.
506
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:56,820
-He's very regular.
-RYAN: That's-- You see?
507
00:19:56,904 --> 00:20:00,032
-I can honestly set my watch.
-All right, Karen. Just--
508
00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:04,077
Thank you. So, if we could
have our shoes...
509
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,413
Uh, mine are the old fashioned
running shoes
510
00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:07,539
for sentimental value.
511
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,666
-Sentimental value. (CHUCKLES)
-RYAN: What?
512
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,752
-You're just rude.
-(RAV GASPING)
513
00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:13,295
You're a very, very rude man.
514
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:16,465
-MATT: Oh, boy.
-Ooh, I don't think
we're getting our shoes back.
515
00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,008
Mine were quite expensive.
516
00:20:21,511 --> 00:20:24,097
Uh, don't run but... run.
517
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:29,061
-♪ (FRANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(ALL CLAMORING)
518
00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:30,812
RYAN: Enjoy the flapjack!
519
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:35,525
(ALL CLAMORING)
520
00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:37,444
You want to be careful
to avoid fusing
521
00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:39,446
the venison with the element.
522
00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:42,324
Or take cremation.
We already cook people.
523
00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:43,909
Yet what do we do
with that meal?
524
00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:46,620
-We throw it in the bin.
-I mean, I guess I can see
525
00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:48,413
how you might end up
eating a corpse.
526
00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:51,458
KAREN: (OVER EARPIECE)
Frank, sorry to interruptyour camera bit.
527
00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:54,336
The guy on your showis the Denver Cannibal.
528
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:55,712
-Right...
-KAREN: He killed and ate
529
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:59,383
a butt ton of people.
Blink twice if you understand.
530
00:21:01,259 --> 00:21:03,136
KAREN: That was three times,but no judgement.
531
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:06,848
Ah, look at that. Ah.
Corpses. Yes.
532
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:10,310
And so we just pop it in.
Turn the kettle on. Bang!
533
00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:13,021
Venison à la kettle. Butt ton.
534
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:14,398
Good night, everybody.
Thank you.
535
00:21:14,481 --> 00:21:17,859
Uh, please, Mr. Judd, if you
could walk our guest out.
536
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:19,194
-What?
-FRANK KELLY: Thank you.
537
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:22,823
All right. Uh, that door,
the only one you can go out.
538
00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:25,283
-Follow all the J's.
-I'll... I'll figure it out.
539
00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:26,952
But think about it.
You've got a chance to be
540
00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:29,162
on the right side
of history here.
541
00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:32,749
Oh, my God. Okay. We--
We have to delete everything
542
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:35,293
that has to do with that.
Everything.
543
00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:38,296
-RAV: Utterly horrible .
- BILLIE: Oh, my-- I feel sick.
544
00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:40,799
(SIGHS) They have
ruined people for me.
545
00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:43,552
Yeah, let's not do people ever,
ever again.
546
00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:46,054
Sure. But all in all,
good visit?
547
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,598
Lovely location.
Shame about the gore-mongers.
548
00:21:48,682 --> 00:21:51,059
But, yeah, zero out of ten,
could not recommend.
549
00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:52,769
BILLIE: Unless, guys,
550
00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:55,522
I mean, the eel tank
still needs to be fixed
551
00:21:55,605 --> 00:21:57,107
and there is Spike's friend...
552
00:21:57,190 --> 00:21:59,401
If anything, he was a friend
of a friend.
553
00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:01,111
Billie, are you suggesting
554
00:22:01,194 --> 00:22:03,530
that we allow a pedophile
on board ship
555
00:22:03,613 --> 00:22:05,282
-to fix our eel tank?
-No!
556
00:22:05,365 --> 00:22:07,075
That, of course, is madness.
557
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,827
-Brackets, is it, though?
-Yes.
558
00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:11,079
Brackets, fuck yes.
559
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,498
Okay, I'm sorry to
always be the corporate stiff,
560
00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:15,667
but I cannot allow
a sexual predator
561
00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:17,753
to roam free among
vacationing families.
562
00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:19,963
I'm a libertarian,
but there's a line.
563
00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:22,883
Okay, so we don't let them
roam freely.
564
00:22:22,966 --> 00:22:25,260
We engineer like a hamster run
565
00:22:25,343 --> 00:22:28,305
from the airlock,
directly to the eel tank.
566
00:22:28,388 --> 00:22:31,850
What if the predator punctures
this hamster run?
567
00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:34,603
You know, he could have a blade
concealed in his mud pipe.
568
00:22:34,686 --> 00:22:36,855
-Then we're leaking pedo.
-FRANK: Very good point.
569
00:22:37,814 --> 00:22:38,857
A ball!
570
00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:42,402
A ball!
571
00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:47,115
We put the sexual predator
inside of an inflatable ball.
572
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:50,077
And then put the ball
inside the tube.
573
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,244
Now you're crushing it.
574
00:22:51,328 --> 00:22:53,830
A pipe and a ball!
You're essentially creating
575
00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:55,749
a theme park attraction
for a pervert.
576
00:22:55,832 --> 00:22:58,293
Okay, look, we all have qualms
about this,
577
00:22:58,376 --> 00:23:01,379
but we can't eat qualms.
We need the eels.
578
00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:05,050
Great! Death or pedo?
Sounds like fun.
579
00:23:06,134 --> 00:23:07,260
(RADIO BEEPS)
580
00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:09,137
RYAN: Obviously, I do not wantthis on my record,
581
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:11,139
but release the pedophile.
582
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:14,643
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
583
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:18,480
-Hamster's on the move.
-RYAN: Copy that.
584
00:23:39,584 --> 00:23:43,338
All right, Mads,
unzip the nonce-o-sphere.
585
00:23:43,421 --> 00:23:44,965
JUDD: I mean, I imagined
it would be bigger
586
00:23:45,048 --> 00:23:46,174
and filled with straw
587
00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:48,301
and I would've put him
on a leash, but it's good.
588
00:23:48,927 --> 00:23:50,011
LYLE: Thank you.
589
00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:51,847
I have done
what a judge would not,
590
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:53,014
I freed the pedo.
591
00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:55,392
All right, sir.
We want you to commence
592
00:23:55,475 --> 00:23:56,852
mending the eel tanks.
593
00:23:56,935 --> 00:23:59,521
We're gonna stand back here
offering encouraging comments
594
00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:01,648
without in any way condoning
your prior actions.
595
00:24:01,731 --> 00:24:02,941
LYLE: I'm done with judging.
596
00:24:04,401 --> 00:24:06,945
MATT: Vacationing families,
atmosphere of dread,
597
00:24:07,028 --> 00:24:10,991
predator with good teeth.
It's like psychosexual Jaws.
598
00:24:11,074 --> 00:24:12,993
We'll laugh about this one day,
599
00:24:13,076 --> 00:24:16,121
as we're being led away to
our deaths by lethal injection.
600
00:24:16,204 --> 00:24:17,998
Can I just say,
I find this whole thing
601
00:24:18,081 --> 00:24:19,499
morally revolting.
602
00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:21,668
And yet you brought snacks.
603
00:24:21,751 --> 00:24:23,879
-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
-(RAV GASPS)
604
00:24:23,962 --> 00:24:25,547
Can I get a glass
of water, please?
605
00:24:25,630 --> 00:24:27,215
The nonce is requesting liquids.
606
00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:30,427
No! We should not be hydrating
a fiddle-man.
607
00:24:30,510 --> 00:24:32,762
Shall I tell him to drink
his own tainted piss?
608
00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:34,306
JUDD: I guess we can get him
room service,
609
00:24:34,389 --> 00:24:36,057
but he's gonna have to pay.
610
00:24:36,141 --> 00:24:37,475
-(COMPUTER PINGS)
-BILLIE: Oh, my gosh.
611
00:24:37,559 --> 00:24:39,561
-(WATER GURGLES)
-We're back online. He did it.
612
00:24:39,644 --> 00:24:42,522
(CHEERING)
613
00:24:42,606 --> 00:24:44,816
(SINGING)
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
614
00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:49,529
No, no, no, no. No! He-- No.
He actually isn't.
615
00:24:49,613 --> 00:24:51,031
-Sorry.
-Thank you, sir.
616
00:24:51,114 --> 00:24:52,741
-A qualified thanks.
-BILLIE: Mm-hmm.
617
00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:54,576
Now, back in your ball.
618
00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:56,912
You said I could come live
with you if I fixed the tank.
619
00:24:56,995 --> 00:24:59,039
Come on,
that was obviously a lie.
620
00:24:59,122 --> 00:25:01,666
-You promised.
-Promises are for suckers.
621
00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:03,210
-Sucker!
-LYLE: Okay, then,
622
00:25:03,293 --> 00:25:05,003
how about you suck on this?
623
00:25:05,086 --> 00:25:07,255
-(ALL SHOUTING)
-RYAN: Oh, no, no, no. Listen!
624
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,216
-Lyle!
-Lyle, Lyle! Lyle! Lyle!
625
00:25:09,299 --> 00:25:12,636
We can definitely come
to some sort--
626
00:25:12,719 --> 00:25:14,387
Oh, look, your water.
627
00:25:14,471 --> 00:25:15,805
-(SCREAMS)
-(LYLE GRUNTING)
628
00:25:15,889 --> 00:25:17,265
All the way. All the way.
All the way.
629
00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:18,975
JUDD: That's why you gotta
put him on a leash!
630
00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:20,101
RYAN: Zip him up.
Zip him up.
631
00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:22,103
BILLIE: Get the pump!
Get the pump!
632
00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:23,897
-I have it.
-(INDISTINCT CLAMOR)
633
00:25:23,980 --> 00:25:26,399
-Mads! Inflate the deviant.
-LYLE: Ow! Ow!
634
00:25:26,483 --> 00:25:30,695
Thank you for your service,
we'll remember you complexly.
635
00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:33,990
-It's okay, dumpling,
I'm right here. It's okay.
-LYLE: I don't wanna go back!
636
00:25:34,074 --> 00:25:35,075
MADS: Strangle him!
637
00:25:35,158 --> 00:25:36,868
BILLIE: Where's the leg?
Where's the thumb?
638
00:25:36,952 --> 00:25:39,412
-(LYLE SCREAMING)
-Okay, get him out of here.
639
00:25:39,496 --> 00:25:41,831
-SPIKE: Go on, get out of here.
-BILLIE: Get out of here.
640
00:25:41,915 --> 00:25:44,751
(LYLE SCREAMING, SOBBING)
641
00:25:44,834 --> 00:25:47,128
-I'll be good!
-BILLIE: Come on, Mads!
642
00:25:47,212 --> 00:25:49,256
-(LYLE SCREAMING)
-MADS: It looks so funny.
643
00:25:49,339 --> 00:25:52,050
-(LYLE GROANING)
-Try to get the hammer
in his head!
644
00:25:52,133 --> 00:25:54,970
-BILLIE: It's time to go.
-MADS: Ow!
You motherfucking kicked me.
645
00:25:55,053 --> 00:25:57,097
KAREN: Come on, let him have it.
Let him have it.
646
00:25:57,180 --> 00:26:01,351
-(MUFFLED SHOUTING)
-LYLE: (GROANS) God, stop!
647
00:26:01,434 --> 00:26:04,145
JUDD: I did this!
This was my idea.
648
00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:06,147
(ALL CLAMOR)
649
00:26:06,231 --> 00:26:07,274
I hope you get eaten!
650
00:26:07,357 --> 00:26:09,109
BILLIE: Thank you
for fixing the tank.
651
00:26:09,192 --> 00:26:11,486
Captain, please,
if I can just explain.
652
00:26:11,569 --> 00:26:14,489
(SCREAMING) Hey, Johanna!
Fuck you!
653
00:26:14,572 --> 00:26:17,617
-And fuck your moccasins!
-(CROWD CHEERING)
654
00:26:17,701 --> 00:26:21,079
I'm a good person. I can love.
Don't forget your baking tray.
655
00:26:21,955 --> 00:26:23,206
-(ALL SHOUTING)
-PAULA: Fuck you!
656
00:26:23,290 --> 00:26:25,417
It's good
that you're talking this out.
657
00:26:28,378 --> 00:26:29,337
Wow.
658
00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:31,256
Boy, I'd hate to be
a fly on that wall.
659
00:26:32,257 --> 00:26:38,138
♪ (UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
660
00:26:39,472 --> 00:26:41,683
The only man capable
of fixing the eel tank
661
00:26:41,766 --> 00:26:43,435
is carrying a dangerous disease.
662
00:26:43,518 --> 00:26:46,354
Okay, so we use the pipe
to get him from the airlock.
663
00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:48,648
-And what if he escapes?
-TV SARAH: Hang on!
664
00:26:48,732 --> 00:26:50,483
Wait for it.
665
00:26:50,567 --> 00:26:53,611
What if we put him inside
a big plastic ball?
666
00:26:54,988 --> 00:26:56,323
I totally agree.
667
00:26:56,865 --> 00:26:59,159
Fuck, yeah!
668
00:26:59,242 --> 00:27:02,620
-Hologram tech, baby.
-This is a game changer.
669
00:27:02,704 --> 00:27:04,873
Seriously,
I don't even recognize the game.
670
00:27:04,956 --> 00:27:07,083
(SIGHS) Decisions!
671
00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:09,044
God, it feels good
to finally get one right.
672
00:27:09,127 --> 00:27:12,714
Ryan, the ship's smart sensor
is showing we have a stowaway.
673
00:27:12,797 --> 00:27:15,050
-A what?
-Frank's cannibal
674
00:27:15,133 --> 00:27:16,509
is still on board.
675
00:27:16,593 --> 00:27:19,346
Oh, take me to hell
and toast my tits.
676
00:27:19,429 --> 00:27:21,014
Now, this is a teachable moment.
677
00:27:21,097 --> 00:27:22,265
You were so focused on the pedo,
678
00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:24,142
you forgot all about
the cannibal.
679
00:27:24,225 --> 00:27:26,102
Tale as old as time.
680
00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:28,563
So, I bring tools
for the eel tank.
681
00:27:29,189 --> 00:27:30,231
(TOOLBOX THUDS)
682
00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:31,858
What I miss?
683
00:27:31,941 --> 00:27:38,531
♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
684
00:28:31,084 --> 00:28:33,837
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
52850
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