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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:23,857 Life is like a parody of your favorite song. 2 00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:26,443 Just when you think you know all the words, 3 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:30,739 surprise, you don't know anything. 4 00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:38,038 Clear the way, clear the way! 5 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,165 - Clear! - Shut that door, please! 6 00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:48,090 Clear! 7 00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:53,762 Dammit. Dammit! 8 00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,767 All right, nurse, let's call it. 9 00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,646 Time of death: 7:30... 10 00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:07,734 Quick! 11 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:10,445 I need some paper, and a number two pencil. 12 00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:13,407 But... maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself. 13 00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:21,123 Why don't we start back at the beginning. 14 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:26,545 All gabardine suits are now 30% off. 15 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,549 Jenkins in to the windup, 16 00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:32,467 and the three-two fastball is in the... 17 00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:35,929 President Nixon is on board Air... 18 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:42,644 ♪ Dr. Demento, Dr. Demento ♪ 19 00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:47,441 Whoo-whoo-whoo wind up your radio! 20 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:50,861 It's time for The Dr. Demento Show, 21 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:56,200 two hours of mad music and crazy comedy 22 00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:59,203 - from out of the archives... - Alfy! 23 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:01,663 What have we told you about listening to that garbage? 24 00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:05,542 But Mom, it's Dr. Demento. It's my favorite show in the whole world. 25 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,085 It's going to rot your brain. 26 00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:09,189 You're lucky your father wasn't here to catch you, mister. 27 00:02:09,213 --> 00:02:11,507 You know how he feels about that kind of music. 28 00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:13,258 Yes, I know. 29 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:20,599 All right. Now go on, go get washed up. 30 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,601 Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. 31 00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:06,979 Alfy, aren't you going to ask your father how his day was? 32 00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:09,773 Um, how was your day, Dad? 33 00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:13,652 What, how was my day? 34 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,447 We had another fatality down at the factory. 35 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,575 Oh, God, real grisly one this time. 36 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,160 It was that McKinley kid that started last week. 37 00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:24,204 I kept telling him to stop messing around 38 00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:28,125 by that industrial shredder, but he just wouldn't listen. 39 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,835 I would've reached out and grabbed him, 40 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:33,630 but I already lost one hand to that cursed machine. 41 00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:38,719 Well, anyway, there's an opening down on the factory floor. 42 00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,470 Maybe I could pull a few strings 43 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,490 and you could spend the summer working with your old man. 44 00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:43,932 How's that sound? 45 00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:46,143 Um, no, thank you. 46 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,644 "No, thank you." 47 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,648 Well, you're gonna have to learn sooner or later, 48 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:53,233 that factory, that factory will make a man outta you. 49 00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:56,737 But I don't wanna work at the factory. I wanna make songs. 50 00:03:56,820 --> 00:04:02,117 What? You wanna make songs? Did you hear that, Mary? 51 00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:04,995 We got a regular Bing Crosby on our hands, don't we? 52 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,705 Nick, you're embarrassing him. 53 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:10,042 Oh, am I? Why don't you sing us a little ditty, Bing, huh? 54 00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:12,961 Such a little songbird. Sing one for us. 55 00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:21,762 ♪ Amazing grapes ♪ 56 00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:25,182 ♪ How sweet the juice ♪ 57 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:29,728 ♪ It tastes so good to me ♪ 58 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:33,106 Stop, stop! What in God's name are you doing? 59 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:34,942 Those aren't the right words. 60 00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:37,653 I know. I made 'em better. 61 00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:40,822 By changing the lyrics to a well-known song? 62 00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:44,076 No, boy, what you're doing is confusing and evil. 63 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:45,577 My God, and I will not have 64 00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:48,163 that kind of blasphemy in my own home. 65 00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:49,790 But Dad... 66 00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:52,084 What has gotten into you, Alfred? 67 00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:54,545 Hmm? With the songs and the crazy magazines? 68 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:57,506 That is all gonna stop now, young man! 69 00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:59,383 Honey, I know it's hard to hear this, 70 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:03,095 but your dad and I had a long talk 71 00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:06,306 and we agreed it would be best for all of us 72 00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:10,686 if you would just stop being who you are and doing the things you love. 73 00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:14,231 You don't understand me! 74 00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,323 It was a few weeks later 75 00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:25,701 when a mysterious stranger showed up at my door 76 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:29,329 and changed my life forever. 77 00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:33,292 Alfy, get the door. 78 00:05:35,711 --> 00:05:38,755 Why, good afternoon, sir. The gentleman of the house, I take it? 79 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,592 Well, congratulations. Today is your lucky day. 80 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:45,095 How would you like to be the envy of all of your friends 81 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:47,014 and the most popular fellow in town? 82 00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,558 Well, everything you need to make that happen... 83 00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,560 is right here in this box. 84 00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:58,150 Um, my dad is actually... 85 00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:00,861 Voila. 86 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:02,362 Feast your eyes. 87 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:09,995 Have you ever seen such a gorgeous instrument? 88 00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:15,584 Better yet, try it on. 89 00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:23,175 Son, when you play the accordion, you are a one-man band. 90 00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:25,844 You are the life of every party. 91 00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:29,598 Go ahead, son, tickle those ivories. 92 00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,064 A natural talent. 93 00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,859 Son, you cannot squander that. 94 00:06:40,943 --> 00:06:43,654 You have got to buy this beauty, and I guarantee it, 95 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,156 you are gonna have girls lined up around the corner. 96 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,699 You're gonna need a lifeguard 97 00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:49,368 because you're gonna be drowning 98 00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:52,996 - in so much p... - Hey! What's going on? 99 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,082 And hello to you, sir. 100 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:56,959 What are you doing in my house? 101 00:06:57,042 --> 00:07:00,879 And why is my innocent young child wearing that devil's squeeze box? 102 00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:02,089 That's actually our newest... 103 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,924 I thought I told you to shut up! 104 00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,345 I don't remember you telling me to shut up before, 105 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,472 but if you're telling me now, I will gladly... 106 00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:16,728 Dad! 107 00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:19,398 Ah! 108 00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:25,487 Dad, stop! You're killing him! 109 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,115 Nick? Oh, Nick, oh, Nick! 110 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:31,493 No, Nick! Hey! Nicky, stop it right now! 111 00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:33,453 You made me do this, boy. 112 00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:36,206 You brought this evil into the house. And now look at you. 113 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:37,958 Look at you. 114 00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:42,421 Take that devilish monstrosity off this very instant. 115 00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,673 I don't wanna see you ever wearing it again! 116 00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:47,176 Nick, why don't you go take a little walk? 117 00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:49,136 I think you'd better cool off. 118 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,930 Yeah. Yeah. 119 00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:55,642 I could use some fresh air because it stinks in here. 120 00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:08,739 I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere. 121 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:13,243 I'll be right here. 122 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,247 Mister, I'm so sorry about this. 123 00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:20,083 My husband, he just has a little bit of a temper, 124 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:23,837 but he is a good man and he means well, but anyway, 125 00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:25,964 if you're amenable to it, 126 00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:28,759 we'd like to buy that accordion. 127 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,719 Mom! You mean it? 128 00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,971 How do you feel about an early Christmas present? 129 00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:37,476 Yes! This is the best thing ever! Thank you so much! 130 00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,646 There's just one thing. 131 00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:50,155 No one can see you playing it, especially your father. 132 00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:53,325 This is our secret. Do you understand me? 133 00:08:55,661 --> 00:09:00,749 Mom... does Dad hate me? 134 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:04,962 No, of course not, sweetie. 135 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:08,215 Then why is he always so hard on me? 136 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:12,553 Listen, you're too young to understand now, 137 00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:16,723 but just trust me, your father has his reasons. 138 00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:20,644 I think I have a collapsed lung. 139 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:25,357 We're trying to have a conversation here, sir. 140 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,860 For the next few years I kept to myself, 141 00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:30,445 and tried my best to please Mom and Dad, 142 00:09:30,529 --> 00:09:34,157 but deep down, I felt like I was living a lie. 143 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:37,327 Sure. I was well-behaved, I got good grades, 144 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:41,373 but I never let anyone know the real me. 145 00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:45,419 Hey, Yankovic, you going to that party at Hofstadter's tonight? 146 00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:48,922 - His parents are out of town. - Ah, geez, guys, I don't know. 147 00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:51,049 I'm not really allowed to go to parties. 148 00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:53,927 You don't need to have your parents' permission. Just sneak out. 149 00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:55,596 I-I don't think I can. 150 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,973 My mom always tucks me in in case I have night terrors. 151 00:09:58,056 --> 00:09:59,516 You have night terrors? 152 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,727 No, I... You know, just in case. 153 00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:04,646 Well, just use a hay boy, then. 154 00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:07,191 A hay boy? What's that? 155 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,484 You don't know what a hay boy is? 156 00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,945 Oh, dude, you've got a lot to learn. 157 00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:15,365 Just let us handle everything. We'll pick you up tonight. 158 00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:18,327 Okay, yeah. 159 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:25,167 Night-night, Alfy. Don't let the bed bugs give you night terrors. 160 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:47,064 I mean, Myron Floren is great and all, Lawrence Welk sure likes him, 161 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,983 but he's way too overexposed. 162 00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:53,779 For my money, it's Whoopee John Wilfahrt 163 00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,490 that really gets me just hoppin' and steppin'. 164 00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:59,493 I'm all about that Minnesota sound, man. 165 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:01,411 Look what I found! 166 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:05,040 Hey, hey! Hey, you didn't tell me that this was gonna be a polka party. 167 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:08,043 - What, do you not like polka? - No, I like it, it's... 168 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:11,046 My parents would kill me if they knew I was here, okay? 169 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:14,258 I'm so, so sorry, guys. I-I-I gotta go. I can't... I can't be here, man. 170 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:17,427 Come on, Al. Live a little! What's the worse that could happen? 171 00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:21,181 You might actually let your guard down and enjoy your life for once? 172 00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:29,690 Yeah, yeah, I can... let my guard down. 173 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:37,322 Hey... and sorry. 174 00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:43,912 Hey, everybody, look what I found! 175 00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:48,458 Dude, pass it here. Pass it. 176 00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:56,967 Okay, dude. Okay. 177 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,427 Al, here. You gotta try this. 178 00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,345 Oh, no. No, no, thanks. I'm good. 179 00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:01,930 Al's afraid his mommy and daddy 180 00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:03,849 are gonna find out he tried an accordion. 181 00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:08,228 I just don't wanna play, okay? Just, just lay off me, man! 182 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:13,066 No, guys... 183 00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:14,860 I'm not gonna... 184 00:12:19,865 --> 00:12:22,492 I'm not... I'm not... I'm not... 185 00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:28,582 Okay. Yeah, sure. I'll play, yeah. 186 00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:14,503 It's the cops! Everyone, run! 187 00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:23,387 I'm sorry to disturb you, ma'am, 188 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:27,891 but I'm afraid we found your son at a polka party. 189 00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,893 He was playing an accordion. 190 00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,521 That's impossible. Alfy's in... 191 00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:36,984 A hay boy?! Really? 192 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:39,987 What did I do to deserve this, huh? Huh? 193 00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:42,155 It's like I don't even know you anymore, Al. 194 00:13:42,239 --> 00:13:45,200 You want me to be like you. Look at me, I'm nothing like you. 195 00:13:45,284 --> 00:13:46,743 You want me to work that factory. 196 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:49,246 Okay, I don't even know what you make down there. 197 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,747 You just call it the factory. 198 00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,624 You will find out what we make at the factory 199 00:13:52,708 --> 00:13:54,084 when you work at the factory! 200 00:13:54,168 --> 00:13:57,713 Well, it's my life, and I wanna make music 201 00:13:57,796 --> 00:13:59,423 and I wanna play the accordion. 202 00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:00,924 Ah, hogwash! 203 00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:05,387 And I'm good. I'm really, really good! 204 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:08,473 How did you get good at playing the accordion, huh? Huh? 205 00:14:08,557 --> 00:14:10,642 It certainly wasn't under my roof, was it? 206 00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:13,395 What'd you do, sneak out and practice in the woods 207 00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:14,855 in the middle of the night? 208 00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:19,026 No. I played it here, quietly. 209 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,571 Yeah, I play in the closet. 210 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,701 But I'm not a closet accordion player anymore. 211 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,494 It feels good! 212 00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:35,375 The closet, you say? 213 00:14:38,754 --> 00:14:40,339 Hmm... 214 00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,716 No-no-no. Dad, Dad, hey. Hey, hey, hey, Dad. 215 00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,801 No-no-no. You're not going... It's not in there. 216 00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:46,446 You're not gonna find anything in there. 217 00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:48,510 Dad, what are you doing? No, no, Dad... No-no-no-no... 218 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,057 Dad, no. Dad, please. 219 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,141 - Uh-huh? - Stop, stop. 220 00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:52,684 - Boy. - Stop. Stop it. 221 00:14:52,768 --> 00:14:55,479 - Boy, this... - Please, Dad. Please! No-no-no! 222 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:56,980 This is for your own good, boy. 223 00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:58,899 No, I need this, I need this... 224 00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:04,947 Nooo! 225 00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:09,368 No, no, no, no, no! 226 00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:12,496 You... You think you're gonna stop me from playing? 227 00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,915 You'll see. One day I'm gonna be the best... 228 00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:17,543 Well, perhaps not technically the best, 229 00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:20,879 but arguably the most famous accordion player 230 00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:24,091 in an extremely specific genre of music. 231 00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:25,425 I'll show you. 232 00:15:26,677 --> 00:15:28,262 I'll show everybody! 233 00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:30,514 Get out! 234 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,018 Good riddance! 235 00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:46,196 Things at home never got any better after that. 236 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,615 But within a few years, I graduated 237 00:15:48,699 --> 00:15:51,994 and I was able to move out and live on my own. 238 00:15:52,077 --> 00:15:54,788 Well, with three other guys in a dirt-cheap apartment, 239 00:15:54,872 --> 00:15:58,750 but the point is, I didn't have to answer to anybody. 240 00:15:58,834 --> 00:16:00,836 - Hey, hey. - Howdy. 241 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,046 Now I'd have a chance to find others 242 00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:05,757 who would truly understand me. 243 00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:08,760 I could find my people. 244 00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:15,559 ♪ Beat on the brat Beat on the brat ♪ 245 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,895 ♪ Beat on the brat with a baseball bat ♪ 246 00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:20,814 ♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh-ho ♪ 247 00:16:23,192 --> 00:16:25,944 ♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh-ho ♪ 248 00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:27,529 - Okay. - ♪ Hey! ♪ 249 00:16:27,613 --> 00:16:30,199 ♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪ 250 00:16:30,282 --> 00:16:33,577 - Okay, that's enough. Thanks. - Mm. 251 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:37,831 Yeah. Very... very interesting. 252 00:16:37,915 --> 00:16:40,792 So... we'll let you know, okay? 253 00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:45,339 Great. Um, when? 254 00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,382 Right now. You didn't make it. 255 00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:57,476 This sucks. 256 00:16:57,559 --> 00:17:00,687 It's the fifth audition I've been kicked out of this week. 257 00:17:00,771 --> 00:17:04,316 It's almost like nobody wants an accordion player in their band. 258 00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:06,109 That just doesn't make any sense. 259 00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:07,986 Yeah. Accordions are cool. 260 00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:10,322 That's the problem with being on the bleeding edge. 261 00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:12,634 You gotta wait for the rest of the world to catch up with you. 262 00:17:12,658 --> 00:17:14,743 I don't have time to wait. 263 00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:16,870 If nobody wants to have me in their group, 264 00:17:16,954 --> 00:17:18,872 I'm just gonna have to go it in on my own. 265 00:17:18,956 --> 00:17:20,791 Don't worry, it's gonna happen for you. 266 00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:22,960 You just gotta hang in there. We got your back. 267 00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:26,255 Thanks, Bermuda. All you guys. You've just been so great. 268 00:17:26,338 --> 00:17:28,048 You really get me. 269 00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:30,401 It is such a difference after living with my folks for so long. 270 00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:33,470 Yeah. And you know, the best part of moving away from home 271 00:17:33,554 --> 00:17:36,849 is you can do anything you want. Hook up with girls... 272 00:17:36,932 --> 00:17:38,475 Get high all the time. 273 00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:41,270 Yeah, I mean, literally anything. There are no rules. 274 00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:42,938 Just last night, I was driving 275 00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:45,732 down the wrong side of the 101 with my eyes closed, 276 00:17:45,816 --> 00:17:48,443 not knowing whether I was gonna live to see another day 277 00:17:48,527 --> 00:17:52,197 or die in a horrible, fiery wreck. 278 00:17:52,281 --> 00:17:53,615 Suck on that, Mom and Dad. 279 00:17:53,699 --> 00:17:55,576 - Yeah. You get it, Steve. - You go, Steve. 280 00:17:55,659 --> 00:17:56,869 Oh, wow, Steve. 281 00:17:56,952 --> 00:17:58,328 What about you, Al? 282 00:17:58,412 --> 00:18:00,038 What's something you always wanted to do, 283 00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:01,456 but you were never allowed to? 284 00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:11,383 Make up new words to a song that already exists. 285 00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:17,973 - Oh, well, you should do that, then. - Absolutely. 286 00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:21,560 Yeah. Why don't you do it right now? Go on. Make up something brilliant. 287 00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:25,898 No, guys, it's not that easy. I gotta wait for inspiration to strike, 288 00:18:25,981 --> 00:18:29,193 and I'm pretty sure that well dried up a long time ago. 289 00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:31,361 Oh, well, if you're not gonna write us a song, 290 00:18:31,445 --> 00:18:33,197 why don't you make us some sandwiches? 291 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,490 Oh, yeah, dude, I'm starving. 292 00:18:35,574 --> 00:18:38,869 Sandwich! Sandwich! Sandwich! 293 00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:42,623 Okay, okay, okay. Guys, I'm on it. Jim, you wanna put on some tunes? 294 00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:43,707 Yeah. 295 00:18:56,470 --> 00:18:59,014 Oh, Steve? This bologna has your name on it. 296 00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,474 - Can we? - Uh, yeah, sure. 297 00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:02,809 Just open up a package of my bologna. 298 00:19:02,893 --> 00:19:06,271 ♪ Ooh, you make my motor run my motor run ♪ 299 00:19:06,355 --> 00:19:09,399 ♪ Gun it comin' off of the line, Sharona ♪ 300 00:19:09,483 --> 00:19:12,861 ♪ Never gonna stop, give it up Such a dirty mind ♪ 301 00:19:12,945 --> 00:19:16,448 ♪ I always get it up for the touch of the younger kind ♪ 302 00:19:16,532 --> 00:19:22,412 ♪ My, my, my-yi-yi, whoo! M-M-M-My Sharona ♪ 303 00:19:22,496 --> 00:19:25,832 ♪ Whoo! M-M-M-My Sharona ♪ 304 00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:29,670 ♪ Whoo! M-M-M-My Sharona, whoo! ♪ 305 00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:33,298 Is this DJ asleep? The record keeps skipping. 306 00:19:33,382 --> 00:19:35,801 Hey! Wake up. 307 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:39,263 ♪ Whoo! M-M-M-My Sharona, whoo! ♪ 308 00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:42,432 - ♪ M-M-M-My Sharona ♪ - ♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪ 309 00:19:42,516 --> 00:19:45,644 - ♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪ - ♪ Whoo! M-M-M-My Sharona ♪ 310 00:19:48,397 --> 00:19:49,731 Al? 311 00:19:49,815 --> 00:19:52,192 ♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪ 312 00:19:55,279 --> 00:19:57,614 ♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪ 313 00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:00,701 You okay? 314 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,880 ♪ Ooh, my little hungry one, hungry one ♪ 315 00:20:12,963 --> 00:20:16,842 ♪ Open up a package of my bologna ♪ 316 00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:25,034 ♪ Ooh, I think the toast is done The toast is done ♪ 317 00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:28,562 ♪ Top it with a little of my bologna ♪ 318 00:20:32,608 --> 00:20:34,151 Where did that come from? 319 00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:35,569 Dude, I've got chills. 320 00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:37,446 I don't know, it just came out of me. 321 00:20:37,529 --> 00:20:40,199 I've never heard anything like that before in my life. 322 00:20:40,282 --> 00:20:41,533 You have to record that. 323 00:20:41,617 --> 00:20:43,118 Record it? No, come on, guys. 324 00:20:43,202 --> 00:20:45,204 Al, you've got something here. 325 00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:48,999 I don't know if it comes from God or the devil, 326 00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:52,211 but the world needs to hear it. 327 00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:55,130 No, forget it, guys. I don't have the money for a recording studio. 328 00:20:55,214 --> 00:20:59,384 I think the bathroom at the bus station has pretty good acoustics. 329 00:21:02,179 --> 00:21:05,557 Yeah, sounds good in here. 330 00:21:05,641 --> 00:21:07,935 You can put it right there, that works. 331 00:21:10,020 --> 00:21:12,940 ♪ Ooh, my little hungry one, hungry one ♪ 332 00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:15,526 ♪ Open up a package of my bologna ♪ 333 00:21:15,609 --> 00:21:18,320 ♪ Ooh, I think the toast is done The toast is done ♪ 334 00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:21,198 ♪ Top it with a little of my bologna ♪ 335 00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:22,950 ♪ Never gonna stop, eat it up ♪ 336 00:21:23,033 --> 00:21:25,827 ♪ Such a tasty snack I always eat too much and throw up ♪ 337 00:21:25,911 --> 00:21:30,165 ♪ But I'll soon be back For my my my-yi-yi, whoo! ♪ 338 00:21:30,249 --> 00:21:35,295 ♪ M-M-M-My bologna M-M-M-My bologna, hey! ♪ 339 00:21:58,068 --> 00:22:01,488 All right. Just mailed the tape off to Captain Buffoon. 340 00:22:01,572 --> 00:22:05,993 Now, I guess, all I gotta do is sit back and wait to become famous. 341 00:22:06,076 --> 00:22:09,246 Yeah, I don't think that's quite how it works, Al. 342 00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:12,291 Nobody becomes famous overnight. That's a myth. 343 00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:16,461 Sometimes it takes years, decades of hard work to get noticed. 344 00:22:16,545 --> 00:22:18,630 - What? - Look, I believe in you. 345 00:22:18,714 --> 00:22:20,799 I know it's gonna happen for you someday, 346 00:22:20,883 --> 00:22:23,260 but you can't just mail your tape off to some disc jockey 347 00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:25,304 and expect to instantly become a sensation. 348 00:22:25,387 --> 00:22:27,639 Man, why can't I catch a break? 349 00:22:30,475 --> 00:22:32,769 Captain Buffoon on your radio dial. 350 00:22:32,853 --> 00:22:34,688 No, I'm not making this up... 351 00:22:34,771 --> 00:22:37,149 I just received this tape in the mail a few minutes ago, 352 00:22:37,232 --> 00:22:40,527 and what can I say? It's an instant sensation! 353 00:22:40,611 --> 00:22:43,530 It's already the number one most-requested song of the week, 354 00:22:43,614 --> 00:22:45,490 and we're playing it all day long. 355 00:22:45,574 --> 00:22:49,953 So, here it is, once again, Al Yankovic with "My Bologna!" 356 00:22:55,209 --> 00:22:58,003 Again! 357 00:22:59,755 --> 00:23:02,299 ♪ Ooh, my little hungry one, hungry one ♪ 358 00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:03,967 ♪ Open up a package... ♪ 359 00:23:04,051 --> 00:23:05,594 You know what this means, right? 360 00:23:05,677 --> 00:23:08,013 You gotta get yourself a record deal. 361 00:23:10,724 --> 00:23:12,392 ♪ Never gonna stop, eat it up ♪ 362 00:23:12,476 --> 00:23:15,312 ♪ Such a tasty snack I always eat too much and throw up ♪ 363 00:23:15,395 --> 00:23:19,733 ♪ But I'll soon be back For my, my, my-yi-yi, whoo! ♪ 364 00:23:19,816 --> 00:23:22,319 ♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪ 365 00:23:22,402 --> 00:23:24,780 ♪ M-M-M-My bologna, hey! ♪ 366 00:23:40,337 --> 00:23:42,089 I've heard enough. 367 00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:47,803 And what did you think? 368 00:23:47,886 --> 00:23:51,181 Do you know why they call it the "music business"? 369 00:23:51,265 --> 00:23:53,225 Uh, why? 370 00:23:53,308 --> 00:23:54,476 Because it's a business. 371 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:55,894 It's a business! 372 00:23:55,978 --> 00:23:57,437 Use your head, kid. 373 00:23:57,521 --> 00:23:59,773 Nobody wants to hear a parody song 374 00:23:59,857 --> 00:24:02,776 when they can hear the real thing for the same price. 375 00:24:02,860 --> 00:24:04,444 What's the point? 376 00:24:04,528 --> 00:24:06,613 Yeah, it makes no financial sense, whatsoever. 377 00:24:06,697 --> 00:24:08,574 Uh, my-my-my song was actually 378 00:24:08,657 --> 00:24:10,576 a-a big hit on The Captain Buffoon Show. 379 00:24:10,659 --> 00:24:12,536 - Oh! - What? 380 00:24:12,619 --> 00:24:13,954 Captain Buffoon? Really? 381 00:24:14,037 --> 00:24:15,581 - Yeah. - Wait, wait. 382 00:24:15,664 --> 00:24:17,684 Captain Buffoon actually played your song on the radio? 383 00:24:17,708 --> 00:24:19,126 Yeah. 384 00:24:19,209 --> 00:24:21,020 Why didn't you tell us? This changes everything. 385 00:24:21,044 --> 00:24:24,047 Ben, get this young gentleman a record contract this very instant. 386 00:24:24,131 --> 00:24:26,508 We are gonna sign him to a 14-album deal. 387 00:24:26,592 --> 00:24:27,801 Wait, really? 388 00:24:27,885 --> 00:24:30,512 No! What do you think I am, an idiot? 389 00:24:30,596 --> 00:24:32,806 - He's not an idiot! - I'm not an idiot! 390 00:24:32,890 --> 00:24:35,184 - If I may interject here. - Please. 391 00:24:35,267 --> 00:24:37,311 Look, I'd just like to say 392 00:24:37,394 --> 00:24:39,521 that you got some nerve coming in here 393 00:24:39,605 --> 00:24:44,276 and wasting my time and my brother Tony's time. 394 00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:48,864 I'm gonna remember your name because you, Al Yankovic, 395 00:24:48,947 --> 00:24:52,409 are the most untalented, pathetic loser 396 00:24:52,492 --> 00:24:55,454 that I've ever met in my entire life. 397 00:24:55,537 --> 00:24:57,164 Okay, um, maybe... 398 00:24:57,247 --> 00:25:02,419 You're nothing but a hack, a stupid, useless parasite, 399 00:25:02,503 --> 00:25:05,714 - and you're so ugly. - Okay... 400 00:25:05,797 --> 00:25:09,885 That ridiculous hair, that horrible mustache, 401 00:25:09,968 --> 00:25:11,803 stupid glasses. 402 00:25:11,887 --> 00:25:13,180 You make me wanna throw up! 403 00:25:13,263 --> 00:25:14,890 All right, thank you. Thank you, Ben. 404 00:25:14,973 --> 00:25:16,767 Thank you, Ben, for your, for your thoughts. 405 00:25:16,850 --> 00:25:18,352 - Thank you. - Jeez. 406 00:25:18,435 --> 00:25:20,145 - Ugh. - Look, kid, 407 00:25:20,229 --> 00:25:24,441 if you really have your heart set on doing this stupid music, 408 00:25:24,525 --> 00:25:26,652 maybe write more than one song. 409 00:25:26,735 --> 00:25:30,656 Yeah, all the biggest musical acts have more than one song in their catalog. 410 00:25:30,739 --> 00:25:32,115 That's very true. 411 00:25:32,199 --> 00:25:34,076 And also, get out in front of a live audience. 412 00:25:34,159 --> 00:25:35,786 Any audience, any stage, 413 00:25:35,869 --> 00:25:38,956 just get out there, build up your chops, and who knows? 414 00:25:39,039 --> 00:25:42,584 Maybe someday... we'll talk again. 415 00:25:42,668 --> 00:25:45,671 But don't count on it because you truly suck. 416 00:25:45,754 --> 00:25:46,754 Right. 417 00:25:46,797 --> 00:25:47,965 Okay. 418 00:25:48,048 --> 00:25:49,299 ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪ 419 00:25:55,848 --> 00:25:59,852 ♪ Bowling with the devil! ♪ 420 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:04,565 Thank you! We are Skunk Barf! 421 00:26:04,648 --> 00:26:08,694 You guys suck! 422 00:26:15,784 --> 00:26:19,037 I can't do this. I can't do this. 423 00:26:19,121 --> 00:26:21,123 Just relax, you'll be great. 424 00:26:21,206 --> 00:26:22,916 Yeah, the new song's a bona fide hit. 425 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,751 It's about ice cream! 426 00:26:24,835 --> 00:26:26,461 Everybody likes ice cream. 427 00:26:26,545 --> 00:26:29,923 This seems like more of a whiskey and... heroin crowd. 428 00:26:30,007 --> 00:26:33,218 Look, guys, I appreciate you being here for moral support and everything, 429 00:26:33,302 --> 00:26:36,013 but they are literally gonna kill me. We need to leave right now. 430 00:26:36,096 --> 00:26:38,223 Don't be silly, man. They're gonna love you. 431 00:26:38,307 --> 00:26:39,907 All right, we got, uh, most of the blood 432 00:26:39,933 --> 00:26:44,354 cleaned off the stage, so you're on, now. 433 00:26:44,438 --> 00:26:48,317 - Go start the car. - Nah, you got this, Al. 434 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:50,903 This is your moment. Go get 'em, champ. 435 00:26:50,986 --> 00:26:54,531 Go get 'em. 436 00:27:01,038 --> 00:27:04,750 All right, all right, who's ready for some more music? 437 00:27:07,044 --> 00:27:09,296 Okay, uh, coming next to the stage, 438 00:27:09,379 --> 00:27:12,508 it's this guy's first time, Al Yankovic. 439 00:27:17,387 --> 00:27:19,306 Hey. 440 00:27:19,389 --> 00:27:20,390 Sorry. 441 00:27:22,100 --> 00:27:24,353 Sorry. 442 00:27:24,436 --> 00:27:27,147 Ah, nice Hawaiian shirt, Trapper John! 443 00:27:29,775 --> 00:27:31,235 Um... 444 00:27:36,532 --> 00:27:37,741 Boo! 445 00:27:53,173 --> 00:27:56,844 ♪ I hear those ice cream bells and I start to drool ♪ 446 00:27:56,927 --> 00:27:58,637 This guy needs some help. 447 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:02,182 ♪ Keep a couple quarts in my locker at school ♪ 448 00:28:02,266 --> 00:28:05,352 ♪ Yeah, but chocolate's gettin' old ♪ 449 00:28:05,435 --> 00:28:11,316 ♪ Vanilla just leaves me cold ♪ 450 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:15,988 ♪ There's just one flavor good enough for me, yeah me ♪ 451 00:28:16,071 --> 00:28:20,325 ♪ Don't gimme no crummy taste spoon I know what I need ♪ 452 00:28:20,409 --> 00:28:23,495 ♪ Baby, I love rocky road ♪ 453 00:28:23,579 --> 00:28:25,789 ♪ So won't you go and buy half a gallon, baby ♪ 454 00:28:25,873 --> 00:28:27,708 ♪ I love rocky road ♪ 455 00:28:27,791 --> 00:28:31,295 ♪ So have another triple scoop with me ♪ 456 00:28:31,378 --> 00:28:32,546 ♪ Ow! ♪ 457 00:28:34,590 --> 00:28:37,217 Gimme a shot of tequila and two scoops of rum raisin. 458 00:28:37,301 --> 00:28:38,844 We don't sell ice cream here. 459 00:28:38,927 --> 00:28:41,221 You better start selling it before this song's over 460 00:28:41,305 --> 00:28:44,057 or you're gonna have a riot on your hands. 461 00:28:44,141 --> 00:28:49,188 ♪ When I'm all alone I just grab myself a cone ♪ 462 00:28:49,271 --> 00:28:53,942 ♪ And if I get fat and lose my teeth that's fine with me ♪ 463 00:28:54,026 --> 00:28:58,280 ♪ Just lock me in the freezer and throw away the key ♪ 464 00:28:58,363 --> 00:29:01,074 ♪ Singing I love rocky road ♪ 465 00:29:01,158 --> 00:29:03,827 ♪ So won't you go and buy half a gallon, baby ♪ 466 00:29:03,911 --> 00:29:05,579 ♪ I love rocky road ♪ 467 00:29:05,662 --> 00:29:08,248 ♪ So have another triple scoop with me ♪ 468 00:29:08,332 --> 00:29:10,375 ♪ I love rocky road ♪ 469 00:29:10,459 --> 00:29:12,878 ♪ So won't you go and buy half a gallon, baby ♪ 470 00:29:12,961 --> 00:29:15,547 ♪ I love rocky road ♪ 471 00:29:15,631 --> 00:29:17,424 ♪ So have another triple scoop with ♪ 472 00:29:17,508 --> 00:29:19,301 ♪ I love rocky road ♪ 473 00:29:19,384 --> 00:29:21,887 ♪ So won't you go and buy half a gallon, baby ♪ 474 00:29:21,970 --> 00:29:24,306 ♪ I love rocky road ♪ 475 00:29:24,389 --> 00:29:26,892 ♪ So have another triple scoop with me ♪ 476 00:29:38,111 --> 00:29:40,989 Why didn't you guys tell me you could play? You're great. 477 00:29:41,073 --> 00:29:43,033 I guess it didn't seem relevant 'til now. 478 00:29:43,116 --> 00:29:46,578 Thank you! 479 00:29:53,752 --> 00:29:55,045 Oh, hey. 480 00:29:56,255 --> 00:30:00,092 Oh! You're Dr. Demento. 481 00:30:00,175 --> 00:30:03,637 Oh, wow. I, I am such a huge fan. I can't believe this. 482 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:05,931 I've been listening to your show my entire life. 483 00:30:06,014 --> 00:30:08,934 Whoo-whoo-whoo, wind up your radio... 484 00:30:09,017 --> 00:30:10,310 - Don't do that. - Sorry. 485 00:30:10,394 --> 00:30:12,354 Um, did you see the show? 486 00:30:12,437 --> 00:30:16,024 I did. And let me tell you something, kid. 487 00:30:16,108 --> 00:30:18,402 Every once in a great while, I can spot a talent 488 00:30:18,485 --> 00:30:21,238 that I know is headed straight to the top. 489 00:30:21,321 --> 00:30:23,073 Nervous Norvus, 490 00:30:23,156 --> 00:30:25,576 Wild Man Fischer, 491 00:30:25,659 --> 00:30:28,662 and now... you. 492 00:30:28,745 --> 00:30:32,457 What I saw you do on that stage tonight blew my mind! 493 00:30:32,541 --> 00:30:36,086 I'm telling you, you've cracked the code. You're onto something special. 494 00:30:36,170 --> 00:30:37,796 Wow, I mean, you, you, you have no idea 495 00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,548 what it means for me to hear you say that. 496 00:30:39,631 --> 00:30:42,593 - Thank you so much. - Oh... 497 00:30:42,676 --> 00:30:45,554 I only wish the Scotti Brothers felt the same way. 498 00:30:45,637 --> 00:30:48,015 Ah, those suits. They couldn't recognize real talent 499 00:30:48,098 --> 00:30:52,060 if it slapped them in the face with a dead fish. 500 00:30:52,144 --> 00:30:54,980 But I might be able to get them to notice you. 501 00:30:55,063 --> 00:30:56,356 How? 502 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:59,151 Well, stick with me, huh? 503 00:30:59,234 --> 00:31:01,820 I know a little something about the biz. 504 00:31:01,904 --> 00:31:05,657 Uh, wait, are-are you saying you want to be my mentor? 505 00:31:05,741 --> 00:31:10,913 No, I'm saying I want to be your... de-mentor! 506 00:31:19,254 --> 00:31:22,466 But first, we gotta find you a stage name. 507 00:31:22,549 --> 00:31:26,053 I mean, Al Yankovic. Ugh, blech. 508 00:31:26,136 --> 00:31:28,138 Doesn't exactly trip off the tongue now, does it? 509 00:31:28,222 --> 00:31:29,973 I guess not. 510 00:31:30,057 --> 00:31:32,118 It's so clunky. It's long. It's ungainly. It's hard to pronounce. 511 00:31:32,142 --> 00:31:33,268 Sorry. 512 00:31:33,352 --> 00:31:35,771 Now, I'm just gonna throw this out there. 513 00:31:35,854 --> 00:31:38,357 Would you be willing to change your name to... 514 00:31:40,234 --> 00:31:44,738 Weird... Al Yankovic? 515 00:31:46,281 --> 00:31:47,449 I love it. 516 00:31:47,533 --> 00:31:50,911 Great. Great! 517 00:31:50,994 --> 00:31:53,223 Hey, I'm having a little pool party at the house this weekend. 518 00:31:53,247 --> 00:31:55,165 I'd love to introduce you to some folks. 519 00:31:55,249 --> 00:31:56,667 What do you say you come on by, 520 00:31:56,750 --> 00:31:58,752 we'll continue this conversation at the grotto. 521 00:31:58,836 --> 00:32:00,087 Yes, of course! 522 00:32:00,170 --> 00:32:05,050 Mm-hmm. And don't forget to stay demented! 523 00:32:06,885 --> 00:32:07,886 You got it. 524 00:32:20,816 --> 00:32:25,737 H-H-Hey! There he is, my newest superstar. 525 00:32:25,821 --> 00:32:28,031 Ah, so glad you could make it. 526 00:32:28,115 --> 00:32:29,992 I've been telling everyone about you, 527 00:32:30,075 --> 00:32:32,870 and, uh, looks like you've brought your band. 528 00:32:32,953 --> 00:32:34,538 Okay, fine. 529 00:32:34,621 --> 00:32:36,707 Uh, there's some canapés right over there, gentlemen. 530 00:32:36,790 --> 00:32:39,084 Help yourselves. So, let me show you around, okay? 531 00:32:39,168 --> 00:32:42,171 Everyone's dying to meet you. Oh, right this way. 532 00:32:42,254 --> 00:32:44,256 - Uh, Mr. Herman. - Hello. 533 00:32:44,339 --> 00:32:46,133 I'd like you to meet "Weird Al" Yankovic. 534 00:32:46,216 --> 00:32:48,552 Ah, a rising star. 535 00:32:48,635 --> 00:32:50,179 Pleased to meet you. 536 00:32:55,184 --> 00:32:57,686 And this is, of course, Tiny Tim. 537 00:32:57,769 --> 00:33:03,442 Oh, Mr. Yankovic. Oh, why, you're just the cat's pajamas. 538 00:33:03,525 --> 00:33:05,319 Is that a good thing? 539 00:33:05,402 --> 00:33:06,528 Sure. 540 00:33:06,612 --> 00:33:08,780 Ah, excuse us, gentlemen. 541 00:33:08,864 --> 00:33:10,657 Nice to meet you. 542 00:33:10,741 --> 00:33:12,951 So that's Demento's new protégé. 543 00:33:13,035 --> 00:33:17,039 You know, I hear they don't even hand out raincoats and tarps at his shows. 544 00:33:17,122 --> 00:33:18,582 Amateur hour. 545 00:33:20,459 --> 00:33:23,045 Amateur hour. 546 00:33:23,128 --> 00:33:26,632 - Well, hello, Dali. - Andy. 547 00:33:26,715 --> 00:33:31,220 What do you think of this "Weird Al" Yankovic? 548 00:33:31,303 --> 00:33:36,433 Dali predicts he will change everything we know about art! 549 00:33:36,517 --> 00:33:39,895 Weird Al will change the world! 550 00:33:39,978 --> 00:33:43,106 Eh, I give him 15 minutes. 551 00:33:43,190 --> 00:33:47,361 Well, well, well, if it isn't Dr. Demento. 552 00:33:47,444 --> 00:33:50,614 Wolfman Jack. Who let you in here? 553 00:33:50,697 --> 00:33:53,825 The Wolfman goes where the Wolfman wants, baby. 554 00:33:58,330 --> 00:33:59,790 Security! 555 00:33:59,873 --> 00:34:03,961 Relax. I just came by to lay eyes on this cat 556 00:34:04,044 --> 00:34:06,505 you've been paradin' around. 557 00:34:06,588 --> 00:34:08,966 The one who takes preexisting musical compositions 558 00:34:09,049 --> 00:34:12,511 and completely changes the lyrics. 559 00:34:12,594 --> 00:34:16,557 He has a name, you know. And it's "Weird Al" Yankovic. 560 00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:20,060 Well then, put 'er there, Weird Al. 561 00:34:20,143 --> 00:34:22,396 Oooh! Too slow. 562 00:34:22,479 --> 00:34:23,897 What is the meaning of this? 563 00:34:23,981 --> 00:34:26,441 This is me telling you that I know hit talent 564 00:34:26,525 --> 00:34:28,652 when I see it, and this kid ain't it. 565 00:34:28,735 --> 00:34:32,197 He'll never crack the top 40, he's too niche. 566 00:34:32,281 --> 00:34:37,286 This kid, as you call him, is the future of music. 567 00:34:37,369 --> 00:34:41,874 Right. Well, if he's so great, how about he comes up 568 00:34:41,957 --> 00:34:45,460 with a new parody song right now on the spot? 569 00:34:45,544 --> 00:34:47,296 - Ooh... - Whoa. 570 00:34:47,379 --> 00:34:50,632 I mean, come on, man. It's a party. I don't know that's a good idea. 571 00:34:50,716 --> 00:34:52,718 Do "Another One Bites the Dust." 572 00:34:52,801 --> 00:34:56,722 That seems fitting, who said that? 573 00:34:56,805 --> 00:35:00,100 I did. I'm John Deacon... 574 00:35:03,604 --> 00:35:04,938 of Queen. 575 00:35:08,150 --> 00:35:09,735 I play the bass in Queen. 576 00:35:09,818 --> 00:35:11,486 Oh... 577 00:35:11,570 --> 00:35:13,989 All right, future boy. 578 00:35:14,072 --> 00:35:17,910 Let's hear what you can do with "Another One Bites the Dust." 579 00:35:27,294 --> 00:35:28,712 We're waiting. 580 00:35:30,797 --> 00:35:33,342 You don't have to prove anything to him. 581 00:35:33,425 --> 00:35:36,386 Come on, guy from Queen. 582 00:35:36,470 --> 00:35:41,016 Let's go find a party with some real talent. 583 00:35:45,896 --> 00:35:48,815 Get me my accordion. 584 00:35:48,899 --> 00:35:50,609 Hey, you like deviled eggs? 585 00:35:50,692 --> 00:35:53,529 I love a good deviled egg. They don't love me, though. 586 00:36:06,792 --> 00:36:08,877 ♪ Ridin' in the bus down the boulevard ♪ 587 00:36:08,961 --> 00:36:10,921 - ♪ And the place was pretty packed ♪ - ♪ Yeah! ♪ 588 00:36:11,004 --> 00:36:12,724 ♪ I couldn't find a seat so I had to stand ♪ 589 00:36:12,798 --> 00:36:14,925 ♪ With the perverts in the back ♪ 590 00:36:15,008 --> 00:36:18,011 ♪ It was smellin' like a locker room There was junk all over the floor ♪ 591 00:36:18,095 --> 00:36:19,972 ♪ We're already packed in like sardines ♪ 592 00:36:20,055 --> 00:36:23,225 ♪ But we're stoppin' to pick up more, look out! ♪ 593 00:36:23,308 --> 00:36:26,728 ♪ Another one rides the bus ♪ 594 00:36:26,812 --> 00:36:28,647 ♪ Another one rides the bus ♪ 595 00:36:28,730 --> 00:36:30,774 ♪ And another comes on And another comes on ♪ 596 00:36:30,858 --> 00:36:32,484 ♪ Another one rides the bus ♪ 597 00:36:32,568 --> 00:36:34,403 ♪ Hey, he's gonna sit by you ♪ 598 00:36:34,486 --> 00:36:36,947 ♪ Another one rides the bus ♪ 599 00:36:43,412 --> 00:36:45,038 ♪ Another one rides the bus ♪ 600 00:36:45,122 --> 00:36:47,249 ♪ Another one rides the bus Ow! ♪ 601 00:36:47,332 --> 00:36:49,042 ♪ Another one rides the bus Hey, hey ♪ 602 00:36:49,126 --> 00:36:53,172 ♪ Another one rides the bus Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey ♪ 603 00:36:57,801 --> 00:36:59,803 ♪ The window doesn't open and the fan is broke ♪ 604 00:36:59,887 --> 00:37:01,972 - ♪ And my face is turnin' blue ♪ - ♪ Yeah! ♪ 605 00:37:02,055 --> 00:37:04,808 ♪ I haven't been in a crowd like this since I went to see The Who ♪ 606 00:37:04,892 --> 00:37:06,935 ♪ Well, I should've got off a couple miles ago ♪ 607 00:37:07,019 --> 00:37:08,729 ♪ But I couldn't get to the door ♪ 608 00:37:08,812 --> 00:37:10,939 ♪ There isn't any room for me to breathe ♪ 609 00:37:11,023 --> 00:37:14,067 ♪ Now we're gonna pick up more Yeah! ♪ 610 00:37:14,151 --> 00:37:17,362 ♪ Another one rides the bus ♪ 611 00:37:17,446 --> 00:37:19,656 ♪ Another one rides the bus ♪ 612 00:37:19,740 --> 00:37:21,617 ♪ And another comes on And another comes on ♪ 613 00:37:21,700 --> 00:37:23,702 ♪ Another one rides the bus ♪ 614 00:37:23,785 --> 00:37:27,414 ♪ Hey, he's gonna sit by you Another one rides the bus! ♪ 615 00:37:44,890 --> 00:37:46,266 I don't know what to say. 616 00:37:47,684 --> 00:37:49,436 That was the... 617 00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:52,648 That was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard in my entire life. 618 00:37:54,358 --> 00:37:57,653 You truly have a rare gift, Weird Al. 619 00:38:05,953 --> 00:38:10,040 Hey mate, we're playing a little gig next week 620 00:38:10,123 --> 00:38:15,254 called Live Aid, Wembley Stadium. 621 00:38:15,337 --> 00:38:17,548 I'd be honored if you would join the band 622 00:38:17,631 --> 00:38:20,759 and play that song on stage with us. 623 00:38:22,845 --> 00:38:24,179 What do you say? 624 00:38:30,894 --> 00:38:32,521 Hard pass! 625 00:38:40,279 --> 00:38:43,031 - This guy? - Get him, get him out of here! 626 00:38:47,619 --> 00:38:50,289 I felt like I was on top of the world, 627 00:38:50,372 --> 00:38:54,084 but this was just the beginning. 628 00:38:56,170 --> 00:38:59,631 "Weird Al" Yankovic is one of the most exciting 629 00:38:59,715 --> 00:39:01,967 new artists in pop music today. 630 00:39:02,050 --> 00:39:04,678 His self-titled debut album 631 00:39:04,761 --> 00:39:08,557 was just certified quintuple platinum. 632 00:39:10,017 --> 00:39:12,227 Simply by taking well-known pop songs 633 00:39:12,311 --> 00:39:13,729 and changing the lyrics, 634 00:39:13,812 --> 00:39:16,231 Yankovic has taken the world by storm. 635 00:39:16,315 --> 00:39:19,484 I have never seen a collection of Hawaiian shirts like this. 636 00:39:19,568 --> 00:39:21,153 Oh, well, thank you, Oprah! 637 00:39:21,236 --> 00:39:23,572 He has the number one album in 20 countries 638 00:39:23,655 --> 00:39:25,532 and counts among his fans such luminaries as... 639 00:39:25,616 --> 00:39:27,492 Hey, turn this up. 640 00:39:27,576 --> 00:39:30,204 President Ronald Reagan and Pope John Paul II. 641 00:39:30,287 --> 00:39:33,332 Even international drug lord Pablo Escobar 642 00:39:33,415 --> 00:39:36,210 calls Weird Al his favorite musician. 643 00:39:36,293 --> 00:39:38,754 ♪ Oh, Ricky, you're so fine You're so fine, you blow my mind ♪ 644 00:39:38,837 --> 00:39:42,382 ♪ Hey Ricky! Hey Ricky! ♪ 645 00:39:42,466 --> 00:39:44,277 And what about this, this necklace you're wearing? 646 00:39:44,301 --> 00:39:45,761 Oh, these, yeah. 647 00:39:45,844 --> 00:39:47,764 I, uh, I wear one solid platinum record medallion 648 00:39:47,804 --> 00:39:49,431 for each time my album went platinum. 649 00:39:49,515 --> 00:39:51,850 So that's one, two, three, four, five. 650 00:39:51,934 --> 00:39:53,644 Wow. Those look heavy. 651 00:39:53,727 --> 00:39:55,854 They are super uncomfortable. 652 00:39:55,938 --> 00:39:58,607 And it's not just the record company 653 00:39:58,690 --> 00:40:01,151 that's cashing in on Weird Al fever. 654 00:40:01,235 --> 00:40:04,905 The artists he's parodying are experiencing a phenomenon 655 00:40:04,988 --> 00:40:07,699 that's being called the Yankovic Bump. 656 00:40:07,783 --> 00:40:10,953 The Knack, Joan Jett and even Queen 657 00:40:11,036 --> 00:40:13,830 have seen their album sales double 658 00:40:13,914 --> 00:40:17,334 after Weird Al put his unique spin on their songs. 659 00:40:17,417 --> 00:40:21,505 Which begs the question, who will be next? 660 00:40:21,588 --> 00:40:24,716 Who indeed? 661 00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:29,179 Al, you really do seem to have the Midas touch. 662 00:40:29,263 --> 00:40:31,807 I've never seen anything like it in all my years. 663 00:40:31,890 --> 00:40:34,393 Your parents must be proud. 664 00:40:34,476 --> 00:40:37,187 Yeah. Yeah, my parents... 665 00:40:46,697 --> 00:40:48,073 Is everything okay? 666 00:40:48,156 --> 00:40:50,576 Huh? Yeah. Yes, of course. 667 00:40:50,659 --> 00:40:52,995 Yeah, whose, whose parents wouldn't be proud? 668 00:40:53,078 --> 00:40:54,454 Exactly. 669 00:40:56,081 --> 00:40:59,084 Al? Al? 670 00:41:03,881 --> 00:41:05,007 Hello? 671 00:41:05,090 --> 00:41:08,886 - Hey, Mom. It's me. - Alfy? 672 00:41:08,969 --> 00:41:10,929 It's been a long time, hasn't it? 673 00:41:13,015 --> 00:41:14,516 We saw you on the TV. 674 00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:17,019 It's crazy, right? 675 00:41:17,102 --> 00:41:19,188 Yeah, who would've thought? 676 00:41:19,271 --> 00:41:21,690 I'm actually gearing up for a residency right now 677 00:41:21,773 --> 00:41:23,775 at Madison Square Garden. 678 00:41:23,859 --> 00:41:26,528 Sold out 25 nights in a row. 679 00:41:26,612 --> 00:41:28,363 They're, uh, they're moving the Knicks 680 00:41:28,447 --> 00:41:30,157 to a hockey rink in Jersey for a month. 681 00:41:30,240 --> 00:41:31,909 - Huh. - Yep. 682 00:41:31,992 --> 00:41:33,827 Yep. I'm living the dream. 683 00:41:33,911 --> 00:41:36,163 I mean, to have 20,000 people every night 684 00:41:36,246 --> 00:41:38,373 singing along to my words 685 00:41:38,457 --> 00:41:40,501 to other people's music. 686 00:41:40,584 --> 00:41:43,420 I feel truly alive when I'm on that stage. 687 00:41:43,504 --> 00:41:44,880 Oh, that's nice. 688 00:41:46,298 --> 00:41:47,591 Are you eating enough bran? 689 00:41:49,176 --> 00:41:51,303 - What? - Well, it's important. 690 00:41:51,386 --> 00:41:53,764 It keeps you regular and you know how you get 691 00:41:53,847 --> 00:41:56,225 when you're not having your regular BMs, Alfy. 692 00:41:56,308 --> 00:41:59,269 I... Yeah, sure. 693 00:41:59,353 --> 00:42:02,773 Good. That's good. 694 00:42:04,149 --> 00:42:09,071 So, um, so how's Dad? 695 00:42:09,154 --> 00:42:12,574 Gosh, your father's a complicated man. 696 00:42:12,658 --> 00:42:14,743 Does he ever talk about me? 697 00:42:14,826 --> 00:42:17,996 Oh, sure, all the time. Yes. 698 00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:20,249 There's so many things that he wants to tell you, 699 00:42:20,332 --> 00:42:21,708 but it's just difficult for him. 700 00:42:21,792 --> 00:42:23,794 Well, like what? 701 00:42:23,877 --> 00:42:26,171 You know, what does he want to tell me? 702 00:42:26,255 --> 00:42:30,884 Well, mostly he just wants to let you know that 703 00:42:30,968 --> 00:42:33,053 he's definitely not proud of you. 704 00:42:34,388 --> 00:42:35,806 What? 705 00:42:35,889 --> 00:42:37,729 Yes. He told me to be crystal clear about that. 706 00:42:37,766 --> 00:42:40,352 Also, he still thinks that parody songs are stupid 707 00:42:40,435 --> 00:42:41,687 and I don't have to tell you 708 00:42:41,770 --> 00:42:43,355 how he feels about the accordion, do I? 709 00:42:43,438 --> 00:42:45,118 Okay. Well, Mom, I actually have to go now. 710 00:42:45,190 --> 00:42:47,168 You know, he just never really wanted to have kids. 711 00:42:47,192 --> 00:42:48,902 Okay. Well, great talking to you. 712 00:42:48,986 --> 00:42:51,530 Listen, if you do wanna get that job down at the factory, 713 00:42:51,613 --> 00:42:53,653 I'm sure your father can pull a few strings for you. 714 00:42:53,699 --> 00:42:55,117 All right. Take care now, bye-bye. 715 00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:56,785 - Love you, Alfy! - Yep! 716 00:43:08,005 --> 00:43:11,967 Oh, tough call with the folks, huh? 717 00:43:12,050 --> 00:43:14,803 You know, I can fire up the downstairs hot tub for you if you'd like. 718 00:43:14,887 --> 00:43:17,240 Oh, no, no, this is fine. I don't want to put you through any trouble. 719 00:43:17,264 --> 00:43:18,724 I... It's really no trouble. 720 00:43:18,807 --> 00:43:20,647 I mean, there are actually three other Jacuzzis 721 00:43:20,726 --> 00:43:22,686 in the house that are not here in my bedroom. 722 00:43:22,769 --> 00:43:26,106 Oh, that's so sweet of you, but really, I'm good. 723 00:43:26,190 --> 00:43:29,526 You, on the other hand, you don't seem so good. 724 00:43:29,610 --> 00:43:31,528 Do you wanna talk about it? 725 00:43:35,324 --> 00:43:38,785 It's just, my whole life, 726 00:43:38,869 --> 00:43:44,416 all I've wanted is for my father to accept me for who I am. 727 00:43:44,499 --> 00:43:47,669 And I thought if I became this huge success, 728 00:43:47,753 --> 00:43:49,838 that that would change things, but... 729 00:43:49,922 --> 00:43:51,131 Mm. 730 00:43:52,799 --> 00:43:55,928 But he still hates everything about me. 731 00:43:59,181 --> 00:44:01,975 You know, maybe he's right. Maybe parody songs are stupid. 732 00:44:02,059 --> 00:44:05,312 Look, you don't have to write parody songs 733 00:44:05,395 --> 00:44:06,563 if you don't want to. 734 00:44:06,647 --> 00:44:09,024 What? 735 00:44:09,107 --> 00:44:11,235 You look a little hungry. Here, have a snack. 736 00:44:13,570 --> 00:44:16,281 You can write your own songs. 737 00:44:17,950 --> 00:44:19,535 You think I took you under my wing 738 00:44:19,618 --> 00:44:22,079 because you write parody songs? 739 00:44:22,162 --> 00:44:25,666 No, I saw in you a visionary, 740 00:44:25,749 --> 00:44:29,586 an artist who has something to give to the world. 741 00:44:29,670 --> 00:44:31,463 I saw in you something special, 742 00:44:31,547 --> 00:44:34,758 something your father doesn't see 743 00:44:34,842 --> 00:44:37,135 and that even you don't see... 744 00:44:39,346 --> 00:44:40,430 yet. 745 00:44:40,514 --> 00:44:42,266 This guacamole tastes funny. 746 00:44:42,349 --> 00:44:45,853 Of course it does. It's loaded with LSD. 747 00:44:45,936 --> 00:44:47,104 What?! 748 00:44:47,187 --> 00:44:49,398 No! 749 00:44:49,481 --> 00:44:53,068 You need to open your heart and your mind, 750 00:44:53,151 --> 00:44:56,321 face your fears, break your chains, 751 00:44:56,405 --> 00:44:58,699 come with me on a spiritual journey. 752 00:44:58,782 --> 00:45:00,868 Find your source of inspiration! 753 00:45:00,951 --> 00:45:03,829 No, that-that is totally not cool, man. You can't just... 754 00:45:03,912 --> 00:45:06,790 Whoa, no, what is happening to your head? 755 00:45:06,874 --> 00:45:08,625 That's probably the drugs kicking in. 756 00:45:08,709 --> 00:45:10,711 Just relax and enjoy the ride. 757 00:45:10,794 --> 00:45:13,463 It'll be over in like, 10 to 12 hours. 758 00:45:13,547 --> 00:45:17,009 12 hours? No, no, no, no, no, no. 759 00:45:18,886 --> 00:45:21,430 I'm just gonna close my eyes and when I open them up again, 760 00:45:21,513 --> 00:45:23,348 everything is gonna be completely back to... 761 00:45:32,357 --> 00:45:35,527 What in God's name are you doing, boy? 762 00:45:35,611 --> 00:45:37,404 Those aren't the right words! 763 00:45:37,487 --> 00:45:41,909 Please, just stop being who you are and doing the things you love. 764 00:45:41,992 --> 00:45:45,662 You, Al Yankovic, are the most untalented, 765 00:45:45,746 --> 00:45:50,167 pathetic loser I've ever met in my entire life! 766 00:45:50,250 --> 00:45:52,920 No, no, no, stop it. Leave me alone! 767 00:45:56,173 --> 00:46:01,136 Alfred Yankovic, this is your time. 768 00:46:01,220 --> 00:46:05,182 Believe in yourself, and the song will come to you. 769 00:46:05,265 --> 00:46:06,934 Don't listen to him, boy! 770 00:46:07,017 --> 00:46:09,895 You belong with me, at the factory! 771 00:46:09,978 --> 00:46:13,440 It's your destiny! 772 00:46:13,524 --> 00:46:16,902 Aah! No! 773 00:46:24,409 --> 00:46:26,620 Aah! No! 774 00:46:26,703 --> 00:46:30,499 He's losing his power over you, keep going! 775 00:46:30,582 --> 00:46:32,459 I can't! 776 00:46:32,543 --> 00:46:35,337 Maybe you should try a little Cap'n Crunch. 777 00:46:36,672 --> 00:46:38,423 What? 778 00:46:38,507 --> 00:46:40,217 Raisin Bran, perhaps? 779 00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:44,346 No, no! I don't want no Cap'n Crunch! 780 00:46:44,429 --> 00:46:46,265 Don't want no Raisin Bran! 781 00:46:46,348 --> 00:46:50,519 Eat it, just eat it. 782 00:46:50,602 --> 00:46:52,813 I don't understand! 783 00:46:52,896 --> 00:46:56,108 Don't you make me repeat it. 784 00:46:58,902 --> 00:47:01,196 What's happening to me?! 785 00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:04,825 Now you must die in order to be reborn. 786 00:47:04,908 --> 00:47:08,120 No, no! No! 787 00:47:41,361 --> 00:47:42,487 Put it in. 788 00:47:44,948 --> 00:47:47,659 ♪ How come you're always such a fussy young man ♪ 789 00:47:47,743 --> 00:47:50,662 ♪ Don't want no Cap'n Crunch Don't want no Raisin Bran ♪ 790 00:47:50,746 --> 00:47:53,999 ♪ Well, don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan ♪ 791 00:47:54,082 --> 00:47:56,877 ♪ So eat it, just eat it ♪ 792 00:47:59,755 --> 00:48:01,131 I've heard enough. 793 00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:06,136 It's brilliant. 794 00:48:06,220 --> 00:48:08,847 Okay, I'm sorry. I don't recognize the tune. 795 00:48:08,931 --> 00:48:10,933 What song are you parodying here? 796 00:48:11,016 --> 00:48:12,935 I'm not parodying anything. 797 00:48:13,018 --> 00:48:15,062 This song is completely original. 798 00:48:15,145 --> 00:48:18,190 Wait, you wrote the words and the music? 799 00:48:18,273 --> 00:48:19,316 That's right. 800 00:48:19,399 --> 00:48:22,444 Okay, just to be perfectly clear, 801 00:48:22,528 --> 00:48:26,573 so you're saying this is not a parody of an existing song, 802 00:48:26,657 --> 00:48:31,495 but an entirely original composition that you wrote all by yourself? 803 00:48:31,578 --> 00:48:32,913 Yes. 804 00:48:32,996 --> 00:48:35,666 Not based on anybody else's song in any way? 805 00:48:35,749 --> 00:48:37,209 Did I stutter? 806 00:48:40,254 --> 00:48:43,715 I'm tired of people thinking I'm some kind of joke, okay? 807 00:48:43,799 --> 00:48:49,847 I am done writing parody songs. Done. 808 00:48:49,930 --> 00:48:55,936 From now on, I am only gonna do completely original music. 809 00:48:56,728 --> 00:48:59,106 Oh, Al, you can't smoke in here. 810 00:49:08,907 --> 00:49:11,368 I totally deserved that. 811 00:49:11,451 --> 00:49:16,123 Well, I am blown away. This is a bold new direction. 812 00:49:16,206 --> 00:49:19,001 I mean, the parody songs were fine, 813 00:49:19,084 --> 00:49:24,256 but you've completely changed the game here. 814 00:49:24,339 --> 00:49:26,550 This is gonna be your biggest hit yet. 815 00:49:30,929 --> 00:49:35,309 Okay, okay! Hold your horses! 816 00:49:47,029 --> 00:49:48,739 "Weird Al" Yankovic. 817 00:49:48,822 --> 00:49:51,992 Um, do I know you? 818 00:49:52,075 --> 00:49:55,746 Madonna. Ring any bells? 819 00:49:55,829 --> 00:49:59,416 Oh, right. Madonna. 820 00:49:59,499 --> 00:50:03,629 Yeah, "Lucky Star," "Holiday," "Borderline." 821 00:50:03,712 --> 00:50:05,380 Born in Michigan, Catholic schoolgirl, 822 00:50:05,464 --> 00:50:07,344 dropped outta college and moved to New York City 823 00:50:07,382 --> 00:50:09,134 with nothing but the clothes on your back 824 00:50:09,218 --> 00:50:10,511 and $35 in your pocket. 825 00:50:10,594 --> 00:50:13,013 Maybe it was to become the Queen of Pop. 826 00:50:13,096 --> 00:50:15,974 Maybe it was to get back at Dad for marrying the housekeeper. 827 00:50:17,309 --> 00:50:18,769 Wow. 828 00:50:18,852 --> 00:50:21,146 You know a lot more about me than you let on. 829 00:50:21,230 --> 00:50:25,400 What can I say? I'm full of surprises. 830 00:50:27,945 --> 00:50:31,949 So, what brings you here, Madonna? 831 00:50:32,032 --> 00:50:34,034 Oh, I was in the neighborhood. 832 00:50:34,117 --> 00:50:39,581 Wanted to see if my map to the stars' homes was accurate. 833 00:50:39,665 --> 00:50:42,459 Guess you won't need a refund then. 834 00:50:42,543 --> 00:50:46,463 Is that, uh, all you wanted? 835 00:50:46,547 --> 00:50:51,677 No, I want a lot of things, 836 00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:54,179 but the truth is, I'm a big fan of yours. 837 00:50:54,263 --> 00:50:56,890 Join the club. 838 00:50:56,974 --> 00:51:01,144 Have you heard my new single, "Like a Virgin?" 839 00:51:01,228 --> 00:51:02,646 Oh, I've heard it. 840 00:51:02,729 --> 00:51:08,110 And I'm curious, is that song autobiographical? 841 00:51:08,193 --> 00:51:11,530 Yes. I technically am a virgin, 842 00:51:11,613 --> 00:51:14,825 except for the fact that I've had a lot of sex. 843 00:51:14,908 --> 00:51:17,327 I mean, a lot. 844 00:51:19,037 --> 00:51:20,998 I see. 845 00:51:21,081 --> 00:51:24,126 Anyway, I was wondering 846 00:51:24,209 --> 00:51:26,295 if you were going to do a parody of my song. 847 00:51:27,963 --> 00:51:29,381 Maybe. 848 00:51:29,464 --> 00:51:32,050 I like that. 849 00:51:32,134 --> 00:51:36,388 So, would you like to see the rest of the house? 850 00:51:36,471 --> 00:51:38,765 There's only one room I'm interested in seeing. 851 00:51:38,849 --> 00:51:40,809 Oh, I'm doing some work on the bathroom, 852 00:51:40,893 --> 00:51:43,061 but there's another one downstairs. 853 00:51:43,145 --> 00:51:45,272 Oh, I'm not talking about the bathroom. 854 00:51:45,355 --> 00:51:48,650 Then let me show you to the laundry room. 855 00:51:50,402 --> 00:51:54,489 Al Yankovic, are you playing with me? 856 00:51:56,283 --> 00:51:57,784 Yes? 857 00:52:20,933 --> 00:52:23,852 Oh, you're so weird. 858 00:52:41,370 --> 00:52:44,706 So, are we like, boyfriend and girlfriend now? 859 00:52:46,500 --> 00:52:49,920 Maybe. 860 00:52:50,003 --> 00:52:53,590 Well, now that things are official, 861 00:52:53,674 --> 00:52:56,927 I should really be honest with you. 862 00:52:57,010 --> 00:53:01,723 When I said I might parody one of your songs, I lied. 863 00:53:05,185 --> 00:53:10,732 So, it's true, what they're saying. You're not doing parodies anymore. 864 00:53:11,275 --> 00:53:15,279 My song "Eat It," which, as you know, is a hundred percent original, 865 00:53:15,362 --> 00:53:18,824 is the biggest hit by anybody ever. 866 00:53:18,907 --> 00:53:21,368 So, I've decided that's all I wanna do from now on. 867 00:53:21,451 --> 00:53:23,829 Completely original songs. 868 00:53:27,875 --> 00:53:30,919 See, that's what I love about you. 869 00:53:31,003 --> 00:53:34,089 You know what you want and you know how to get it. 870 00:53:36,258 --> 00:53:37,467 Just like me. 871 00:53:50,647 --> 00:53:53,525 ♪ Just eat it, eat it ♪ 872 00:53:53,609 --> 00:53:56,612 ♪ Don't you make me repeat it ♪ 873 00:53:56,695 --> 00:53:59,865 ♪ Have a banana Have a whole bunch ♪ 874 00:53:59,948 --> 00:54:02,993 ♪ It doesn't matter what you had for lunch ♪ 875 00:54:03,076 --> 00:54:05,871 ♪ Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it ♪ 876 00:54:05,954 --> 00:54:07,831 ♪ Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it ♪ 877 00:54:07,915 --> 00:54:12,544 How about that? And I've got some amazing news. 878 00:54:12,628 --> 00:54:15,422 I've officially gotten the word that we have broken 879 00:54:15,506 --> 00:54:19,635 the Beatles' record for most singles in the Billboard Top 10. 880 00:54:20,677 --> 00:54:21,845 Oh. 881 00:54:25,641 --> 00:54:27,226 Yeah, cool. 882 00:54:27,309 --> 00:54:28,936 Uh, okay. 883 00:54:29,019 --> 00:54:33,649 Well, um, we have some very exciting offers pouring in 884 00:54:33,732 --> 00:54:36,193 that I would love to... 885 00:54:36,276 --> 00:54:38,278 - That... - Oh, that feels good. 886 00:54:38,362 --> 00:54:39,905 Love to discuss with... 887 00:54:39,988 --> 00:54:41,240 Love to discuss with you. 888 00:54:41,323 --> 00:54:43,075 We got some, some great calls. 889 00:54:43,158 --> 00:54:45,202 Uh, very interesting. 890 00:54:45,285 --> 00:54:48,956 Led Zeppelin, uh, is thinking about getting back together, 891 00:54:49,039 --> 00:54:51,041 but they say the only way they'll do it 892 00:54:51,124 --> 00:54:53,085 is if they can open up for you on tour. 893 00:54:53,168 --> 00:54:55,045 I mean, that's sweet, but yeah. 894 00:54:55,128 --> 00:54:57,840 I already offered the gig to Howie Mandel, so. 895 00:54:59,424 --> 00:55:02,719 Okay, yeah. But this is perhaps... 896 00:55:02,803 --> 00:55:07,808 Look, I am not bumping Mandel for Zeppelin, okay? Pass. 897 00:55:07,891 --> 00:55:10,394 Okay. Got it. 898 00:55:12,145 --> 00:55:15,607 Uh, well, we have another offer, a very serious offer. 899 00:55:15,691 --> 00:55:19,653 This is to replace Roger Moore in the James Bond franchise. 900 00:55:19,736 --> 00:55:21,154 - Now this one... - No! 901 00:55:21,238 --> 00:55:23,118 No, no, no, I'm not gonna be the new James Bond. 902 00:55:23,156 --> 00:55:25,075 I'm not gonna be the new Indiana Jones. 903 00:55:25,158 --> 00:55:28,912 From now on, everything I do has to be completely original. 904 00:55:28,996 --> 00:55:31,039 How many times have I gotta say that? 905 00:55:31,123 --> 00:55:34,918 Look, Mr. Pimento, we have places to be. 906 00:55:35,002 --> 00:55:37,129 How long is this gonna take? 907 00:55:37,212 --> 00:55:39,715 Not much longer. 908 00:55:39,798 --> 00:55:41,341 We got another offer for you to play 909 00:55:41,425 --> 00:55:43,719 Pablo Escobar's 40th birthday party. 910 00:55:43,802 --> 00:55:45,762 I saw him on the news. He's a really big deal. 911 00:55:45,846 --> 00:55:48,515 The drug lord? Why is he so obsessed with me? 912 00:55:48,599 --> 00:55:53,478 And he has upped his offer to three billion pesos. 913 00:55:53,562 --> 00:55:55,522 I mean, okay, how much is that in American money? 914 00:55:55,606 --> 00:55:58,233 You know what, never mind, I don't feel like doing the math. 915 00:55:58,317 --> 00:56:00,194 Well, I've done the math and I can assure you... 916 00:56:00,277 --> 00:56:05,908 Bup-bup-bup! I can do my own math, and I said, I don't want to. Pass. 917 00:56:05,991 --> 00:56:09,036 Alfy, are you chewing my gum? 918 00:56:09,119 --> 00:56:11,455 I don't know. Maybe. 919 00:56:11,538 --> 00:56:13,665 You wanna come get it? 920 00:56:25,552 --> 00:56:27,429 You, you don't think things are moving 921 00:56:27,513 --> 00:56:28,889 too fast with us, do you? 922 00:56:28,972 --> 00:56:32,976 Baby, don't be silly. We're soulmates. 923 00:56:33,060 --> 00:56:36,522 This is true love. When you know, you know. 924 00:56:36,605 --> 00:56:38,148 You're so right. 925 00:56:38,232 --> 00:56:42,569 This has been the happiest six hours of my life. 926 00:56:42,653 --> 00:56:46,031 Mr. Yankovic, you have a phone call at the host stand. 927 00:56:47,199 --> 00:56:48,742 Excuse me, my love. 928 00:56:56,500 --> 00:56:57,876 This better be good. 929 00:56:59,461 --> 00:57:00,671 Well... 930 00:57:02,172 --> 00:57:04,007 What's going on, Tony? 931 00:57:04,091 --> 00:57:08,554 Okay, um, I-I thought you should hear it from me first. 932 00:57:08,637 --> 00:57:13,308 Michael Jackson just released a new single called "Beat It." 933 00:57:13,392 --> 00:57:15,394 It's, um... 934 00:57:15,477 --> 00:57:18,188 Well, it's-it's a parody of "Eat It." 935 00:57:18,272 --> 00:57:20,858 You mean the kid from the Jackson Five? 936 00:57:20,941 --> 00:57:23,402 Why is that has-been trying to ride my coattails? 937 00:57:23,485 --> 00:57:25,988 He actually has a pretty successful solo career now. 938 00:57:26,071 --> 00:57:27,406 Whatever! You're telling me 939 00:57:27,489 --> 00:57:29,700 Michael Jackson recorded a parody of my song? 940 00:57:29,783 --> 00:57:32,870 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Same music, different words. 941 00:57:32,953 --> 00:57:34,663 What kinda sick freak changes the words 942 00:57:34,746 --> 00:57:36,540 to someone else's song? 943 00:57:37,624 --> 00:57:39,418 "Beat It," huh? 944 00:57:39,501 --> 00:57:41,336 Wait, so it's about eggs? 945 00:57:41,420 --> 00:57:42,981 No, no, it's, uh, I don't think it's even about food. 946 00:57:43,005 --> 00:57:45,132 It's about fighting or... 947 00:57:45,215 --> 00:57:47,176 trying to avoid a fight? I'm not exactly sure... 948 00:57:47,259 --> 00:57:51,305 What gives him the right?! Can he even do this? 949 00:57:51,388 --> 00:57:53,557 I think you're overreacting just a little, okay? 950 00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:57,060 I mean, this could be great publicity. Sell a few more albums. 951 00:57:57,144 --> 00:58:00,397 No, I don't need to sell more albums, Tony! 952 00:58:00,480 --> 00:58:04,735 I need people to start taking me seriously as an artist that creates original music. 953 00:58:04,818 --> 00:58:06,612 Now some idiots will probably get confused 954 00:58:06,695 --> 00:58:09,281 and think "Beat It" came first! 955 00:58:09,364 --> 00:58:10,949 Nobody's gonna think that. 956 00:58:11,033 --> 00:58:13,327 This is a disaster, for the rest of my life now, 957 00:58:13,410 --> 00:58:15,412 I'm gonna be linked to this Michael Jackson guy. 958 00:58:15,495 --> 00:58:17,206 And why would that be so bad? 959 00:58:17,289 --> 00:58:19,559 You know, maybe it's a good thing. I-I think it's an honor. 960 00:58:19,583 --> 00:58:21,463 Michael's one of the biggest stars in the world. 961 00:58:29,343 --> 00:58:30,969 Everything okay? 962 00:58:31,053 --> 00:58:33,639 Everything's pretty freaking not okay. 963 00:58:33,722 --> 00:58:35,474 I finally created something of my own 964 00:58:35,557 --> 00:58:38,852 and now people are just gonna think I'm ripping off Michael Jackson. 965 00:58:38,936 --> 00:58:40,854 Your filet? 966 00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:45,651 I think I lost my appetite. 967 00:58:45,734 --> 00:58:48,779 Babe, you seem stressed. You should have a drink. 968 00:58:48,862 --> 00:58:50,906 I don't really drink. 969 00:58:50,989 --> 00:58:53,092 If there's one thing I've learned in life, the only thing that can clear your head 970 00:58:53,116 --> 00:58:57,079 and make you feel better is hard alcohol, and lots of it. 971 00:58:57,162 --> 00:59:01,583 Well, you know me better than anyone. 972 00:59:03,210 --> 00:59:04,211 I trust you. 973 00:59:05,754 --> 00:59:07,172 He'll have a whiskey, neat. 974 00:59:11,760 --> 00:59:14,638 You know what? Maybe you should bring the whole bottle. 975 00:59:26,525 --> 00:59:29,069 I know, right? 976 00:59:29,152 --> 00:59:33,907 Hey, hey. The king is here! Let's get this party started. 977 00:59:33,991 --> 00:59:37,286 Dude, soundcheck was supposed to start like three hours ago. 978 00:59:37,369 --> 00:59:41,957 Well, I wasn't here three hours ago, so we're starting now. 979 00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:43,750 Al, are you drunk? 980 00:59:43,834 --> 00:59:46,837 - I'm not drunk, you're all drunk. - No, this is pointless. 981 00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:49,339 Hey, man, why don't you just get out of here? 982 00:59:49,423 --> 00:59:51,717 I need to get out of here? You need to get out of here! 983 00:59:51,800 --> 00:59:53,343 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Guys, guys! 984 00:59:53,427 --> 00:59:55,971 Al, look, it's the first show of the tour tonight. 985 00:59:56,054 --> 00:59:57,723 It's kind of a big deal. 986 00:59:57,806 --> 00:59:59,367 Do you think you could maybe not screw this up for everybody? 987 00:59:59,391 --> 01:00:02,436 Oh, what-what-what are you gonna do, fire me? 988 01:00:02,519 --> 01:00:05,814 You guys are nothing without me. 989 01:00:05,898 --> 01:00:08,775 Yeah, I could replace you with a drum machine 990 01:00:08,859 --> 01:00:12,613 and you with a guitar machine 991 01:00:12,696 --> 01:00:17,159 and you with a, I don't know, with some other machine. 992 01:00:17,242 --> 01:00:19,620 You're all just a bunch of normals, okay, 993 01:00:19,703 --> 01:00:23,457 I'm the weird one! I am the weird one! 994 01:00:29,379 --> 01:00:32,382 Okay. That's it. 995 01:00:40,140 --> 01:00:41,683 You've changed, man. 996 01:00:43,268 --> 01:00:46,230 Fame's really gotten to you. 997 01:00:46,313 --> 01:00:47,898 Wow. 998 01:00:51,235 --> 01:00:54,488 Look, just get yourself cleaned up for the show tonight, all right? 999 01:00:58,200 --> 01:00:59,826 - You're a mess. - Yeah. 1000 01:01:05,791 --> 01:01:07,543 They seem nice. 1001 01:01:07,626 --> 01:01:08,627 Yeah, they're great. 1002 01:01:10,879 --> 01:01:13,924 - Al? - Oh, what do you want? 1003 01:01:14,007 --> 01:01:15,759 Can I talk to you for a minute? 1004 01:01:18,512 --> 01:01:20,389 Privately? 1005 01:01:20,472 --> 01:01:23,392 Look, anything you wanna say to me, you can say in front of my girlfriend. 1006 01:01:25,018 --> 01:01:27,938 Okay, fine. 1007 01:01:28,021 --> 01:01:30,649 I think Madonna's a bad influence on you. 1008 01:01:30,732 --> 01:01:32,776 I think she's an evil, conniving succubus 1009 01:01:32,860 --> 01:01:35,696 and she's only using you for her pathetic and selfish needs. 1010 01:01:35,779 --> 01:01:37,447 - What? - No offense. 1011 01:01:37,531 --> 01:01:41,535 She only wants you for that sweet, sweet Yankovic Bump. 1012 01:01:41,618 --> 01:01:42,911 She knows her record sales 1013 01:01:42,995 --> 01:01:45,330 will go through the roof if you parody her. 1014 01:01:45,414 --> 01:01:47,124 How dare you. 1015 01:01:47,207 --> 01:01:51,879 This woman is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. 1016 01:01:51,962 --> 01:01:55,674 And besides, I already told her I'm not doing any more, um... 1017 01:01:55,757 --> 01:01:58,510 Any more... The thing you said. 1018 01:01:58,594 --> 01:02:00,262 - Song parodies. - Song parodies! 1019 01:02:00,345 --> 01:02:01,930 You're so drunk right now, 1020 01:02:02,014 --> 01:02:04,141 I bet you couldn't even give her that Yankovic Bump. 1021 01:02:04,224 --> 01:02:05,934 That's not true! 1022 01:02:06,018 --> 01:02:08,163 That's not true, I'll come up with that song parody right now. 1023 01:02:08,187 --> 01:02:11,481 Instead of "Like a Virgin," it'll be "Like a..." 1024 01:02:11,565 --> 01:02:12,733 Like a... 1025 01:02:14,776 --> 01:02:16,320 Like a... 1026 01:02:16,403 --> 01:02:18,339 Shut up, it's impossible! Nothing rhymes with virgin. 1027 01:02:18,363 --> 01:02:19,781 Al, listen. 1028 01:02:20,741 --> 01:02:22,201 You gotta take care of yourself. 1029 01:02:22,284 --> 01:02:24,244 When she's done with you, she's gonna drop you 1030 01:02:24,328 --> 01:02:25,996 like a sack of spoiled cabbage. 1031 01:02:26,079 --> 01:02:28,582 No, no, shut up, shut up! You're not my dad. 1032 01:02:28,665 --> 01:02:31,877 You think you're my dad, but you are not my dad. 1033 01:02:35,339 --> 01:02:37,633 Baby? Baby, where are you going? 1034 01:02:37,716 --> 01:02:39,927 I'm goin' for a drive to clear my mind, on my own. 1035 01:02:40,010 --> 01:02:43,597 No, no, no, no, no. You cannot go. 1036 01:02:45,849 --> 01:02:47,476 Without your car keys. 1037 01:02:47,559 --> 01:02:50,854 Thank you so much. 1038 01:03:05,786 --> 01:03:07,663 Well, we can't wait. 1039 01:03:07,746 --> 01:03:09,915 Weird Al hits the stage at Joe Robbie Stadium 1040 01:03:09,998 --> 01:03:13,669 tonight at eight o'clock, and it's gonna be off the chain. 1041 01:03:13,752 --> 01:03:15,045 One for the history... 1042 01:03:15,128 --> 01:03:17,548 ♪ Just eat it, eat it ♪ 1043 01:03:17,631 --> 01:03:20,634 ♪ Another one rides the bus ♪ 1044 01:03:20,717 --> 01:03:23,720 ♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪ 1045 01:03:25,138 --> 01:03:26,723 ♪ Have another triple scoop with me ♪ 1046 01:03:26,807 --> 01:03:29,226 Well, that was multi-platinum recording artist 1047 01:03:29,309 --> 01:03:31,854 "Weird Al" Yankovic with "I Love Rocky Road," and my god, 1048 01:03:31,937 --> 01:03:34,773 have you ever seen a more durable pop artist? 1049 01:03:34,857 --> 01:03:36,191 Anything you throw at this guy, 1050 01:03:36,275 --> 01:03:38,694 he just seems capable of surviving it. 1051 01:03:38,777 --> 01:03:41,488 I'll bet he could land a plane into a volcano 1052 01:03:41,572 --> 01:03:44,157 and still come out... 1053 01:04:01,008 --> 01:04:02,384 Dammit. 1054 01:04:04,595 --> 01:04:06,763 All right, nurse, let's call it. 1055 01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:10,684 Time of death: 7:30... 1056 01:04:15,147 --> 01:04:16,523 Quick! 1057 01:04:16,607 --> 01:04:18,692 I need some paper and a number two pencil. 1058 01:04:18,775 --> 01:04:20,402 Here you go, baby. 1059 01:04:20,485 --> 01:04:22,485 Excuse me, miss, he's in no condition to be doing... 1060 01:04:22,529 --> 01:04:26,158 Look, there's no time, okay? He's got a show in 30 minutes. 1061 01:04:26,241 --> 01:04:28,827 All right. 1062 01:04:28,911 --> 01:04:30,996 Better give me all your gauze, nurse. 1063 01:04:35,417 --> 01:04:38,045 ♪ I finally made it through med school ♪ 1064 01:04:38,128 --> 01:04:42,799 ♪ Somehow I made it through ♪ 1065 01:04:42,883 --> 01:04:44,176 ♪ I'm just an intern ♪ 1066 01:04:44,259 --> 01:04:48,388 ♪ I still make a mistake or two ♪ 1067 01:04:49,806 --> 01:04:53,602 ♪ I was last in my class ♪ 1068 01:04:53,685 --> 01:04:57,272 ♪ Barely passed at the institute ♪ 1069 01:04:57,356 --> 01:05:01,276 ♪ Now I'm trying to avoid ♪ 1070 01:05:01,360 --> 01:05:04,530 ♪ Yeah, I'm trying to avoid ♪ 1071 01:05:04,613 --> 01:05:06,990 ♪ A malpractice suit ♪ 1072 01:05:08,909 --> 01:05:12,204 ♪ Like a surgeon, hey! ♪ 1073 01:05:12,287 --> 01:05:15,249 ♪ Cuttin' for the very first time ♪ 1074 01:05:15,332 --> 01:05:16,375 Yes! 1075 01:05:16,458 --> 01:05:20,128 ♪ Like a surgeon ♪ 1076 01:05:20,212 --> 01:05:24,758 ♪ Here's a waiver for you to sign ♪ 1077 01:05:31,098 --> 01:05:35,602 This is all for you, babe. I love you so much. 1078 01:05:35,686 --> 01:05:38,164 I think I should have stuck around for that blood transfusion though, 1079 01:05:38,188 --> 01:05:40,983 - I think I'm gonna pass out. - No, babe, you're killing it. 1080 01:05:41,066 --> 01:05:43,026 - Now get back out there. - Okay. 1081 01:05:46,947 --> 01:05:49,241 ♪ Like a surgeon ♪ 1082 01:05:49,324 --> 01:05:53,287 ♪ Ooh-hoo, like a surgeon ♪ 1083 01:05:53,370 --> 01:05:56,790 ♪ When I reach inside ♪ 1084 01:05:56,874 --> 01:06:02,504 ♪ With my scalpel and my forceps and retractors ♪ 1085 01:06:02,588 --> 01:06:05,299 ♪ Oh-ho-oh-oh-oh ♪ 1086 01:06:05,382 --> 01:06:10,554 ♪ Oh-oh-oh-ho-oh-ho-oh-ho ♪ 1087 01:06:13,098 --> 01:06:17,060 ♪ Ooh, baby, yeah ♪ 1088 01:06:17,144 --> 01:06:19,354 ♪ I can hear your heart beat ♪ 1089 01:06:21,231 --> 01:06:23,400 ♪ For the very last time ♪ 1090 01:06:32,910 --> 01:06:36,455 Okay, babe, you have a costume change, one more song 1091 01:06:36,538 --> 01:06:38,290 and then we can go home and sleep it off. 1092 01:06:38,373 --> 01:06:39,458 Okay. 1093 01:06:44,004 --> 01:06:47,090 No, no, no, no. What-what is that? I'm not wearing that. 1094 01:06:47,174 --> 01:06:49,654 - It's your "Eat It" jacket, babe. - No, not anymore, it's not. 1095 01:06:49,718 --> 01:06:52,179 That is a Michael Jackson jacket now. I don't wanna see it. 1096 01:06:52,262 --> 01:06:53,680 Get that outta my face. 1097 01:06:53,764 --> 01:06:55,116 You don't have to wear it if you don't want to. 1098 01:06:55,140 --> 01:06:58,477 Now just drink up. Yeah, that's good, yeah. 1099 01:06:58,560 --> 01:07:01,939 Little more, little more. That's the medicine. 1100 01:07:35,514 --> 01:07:39,852 Boo, boo, boo, boo! 1101 01:07:39,935 --> 01:07:43,021 Yeah, that's what you sound like. Boo! 1102 01:07:45,274 --> 01:07:47,985 Oh, what? You want, do you wanna hear "Eat It?" 1103 01:07:48,068 --> 01:07:49,862 Do you? 1104 01:07:49,945 --> 01:07:52,906 Okay, here goes. 1105 01:07:58,453 --> 01:08:00,998 You're all a bunch of slaves! 1106 01:08:01,081 --> 01:08:02,708 You're morons. 1107 01:08:02,791 --> 01:08:05,294 Idiots! 1108 01:08:05,377 --> 01:08:08,630 Oh, what, what, you paid good money to see a show? 1109 01:08:08,714 --> 01:08:12,634 You worked your little butts off at some dangerous factory? 1110 01:08:12,718 --> 01:08:16,763 God only knows what they make there! 1111 01:08:16,847 --> 01:08:18,724 No one will tell you that. 1112 01:08:23,437 --> 01:08:26,607 What do they make in the factory? 1113 01:08:26,690 --> 01:08:28,442 What do they make?! 1114 01:08:30,694 --> 01:08:34,364 Do you like getting pushed around? 1115 01:08:34,448 --> 01:08:37,034 You like letting everybody push you around? 1116 01:08:37,117 --> 01:08:41,663 Yeah, I think you do. I think you like it. 1117 01:08:41,747 --> 01:08:45,000 You like letting your dad push you around? 1118 01:08:45,083 --> 01:08:46,418 No! 1119 01:08:46,502 --> 01:08:49,421 You like letting Michael Jackson push you around? 1120 01:08:49,505 --> 01:08:53,217 No! 1121 01:08:53,300 --> 01:08:56,762 Well, what are you gonna do about it? 1122 01:08:56,845 --> 01:08:59,348 What are you gonna do about it?! 1123 01:08:59,431 --> 01:09:03,143 What are you gonna do?! 1124 01:09:06,563 --> 01:09:10,150 So... you wanna see it? 1125 01:09:13,904 --> 01:09:16,031 Do you want me to show it to you? 1126 01:09:18,825 --> 01:09:20,827 I'm gonna whip it out! 1127 01:09:23,413 --> 01:09:25,457 You don't think I'll do it, do you? 1128 01:09:25,541 --> 01:09:28,752 I haven't whipped it out yet but I'm gonna do it for you, 1129 01:09:28,836 --> 01:09:32,130 but only if you really want me to. 1130 01:09:34,842 --> 01:09:37,219 Okay, here goes! 1131 01:09:39,012 --> 01:09:40,681 Yeah! 1132 01:09:42,432 --> 01:09:45,394 Get off me! Get off me! 1133 01:09:50,190 --> 01:09:51,817 We're sorry to interrupt 1134 01:09:51,900 --> 01:09:53,986 the President's address, but we have breaking news. 1135 01:09:54,069 --> 01:09:58,198 Parody songsmith "Weird Al" Yankovic was arrested earlier tonight 1136 01:09:58,282 --> 01:10:01,618 in Miami-Dade County for lewd behavior. 1137 01:10:09,793 --> 01:10:11,795 Okay. Here's my thought. 1138 01:10:11,879 --> 01:10:14,131 I think this is a really great idea, I hope you like it. 1139 01:10:14,214 --> 01:10:15,841 We team up, right? 1140 01:10:15,924 --> 01:10:18,343 I'll write all the, you know, good songs, the real ones, 1141 01:10:18,427 --> 01:10:22,806 and then you parody them every time. Bam, bam. It's perfect. 1142 01:10:24,683 --> 01:10:26,226 Sounds great. 1143 01:10:26,310 --> 01:10:28,061 It's foolproof, we'll be unstoppable. 1144 01:10:28,145 --> 01:10:30,898 We'll be the hottest power couple in the entire music industry. 1145 01:10:30,981 --> 01:10:32,900 What would our power couple name be? 1146 01:10:32,983 --> 01:10:37,154 I'm thinking Madankovic or Madonnavic 1147 01:10:37,237 --> 01:10:41,491 or maybe just Madonna. 1148 01:10:41,575 --> 01:10:43,952 There'll be plenty of time to figure all of that out. 1149 01:10:44,036 --> 01:10:45,954 But can you imagine the world tour? 1150 01:10:46,038 --> 01:10:49,374 Madonna... with Weird Al. 1151 01:10:50,709 --> 01:10:53,962 All that money? I just got the tingles. 1152 01:10:56,882 --> 01:10:59,426 But I mean, you're okay with all of this, right? 1153 01:11:00,511 --> 01:11:01,887 Look, babe, I'm... 1154 01:11:03,680 --> 01:11:07,184 I'm seriously okay with anything you wanna do. 1155 01:11:08,560 --> 01:11:12,397 I mean, look at me. I'm a train wreck. 1156 01:11:12,481 --> 01:11:15,359 I'm barely holding it together. 1157 01:11:15,442 --> 01:11:18,111 My parents wrote me off. 1158 01:11:18,195 --> 01:11:22,324 I pushed away my band, Dr. Demento, 1159 01:11:22,407 --> 01:11:24,701 everyone who was important to me. 1160 01:11:27,246 --> 01:11:29,456 You're all I got. 1161 01:11:29,540 --> 01:11:32,835 You are literally the only thing I have left in the world, 1162 01:11:32,918 --> 01:11:37,464 and if anything happened to you, I don't know what I would do. 1163 01:11:39,591 --> 01:11:42,427 No, no! No! 1164 01:11:42,511 --> 01:11:44,888 Relax, Mr. Yankovic. 1165 01:11:44,972 --> 01:11:46,640 We only wanna borrow your girlfriend. 1166 01:11:46,723 --> 01:11:49,601 Just stay calm and nothing will happen to you. 1167 01:11:49,685 --> 01:11:52,521 Please, sir, please. Whatever you do... 1168 01:11:56,316 --> 01:11:57,776 Don't hurt me. 1169 01:12:00,279 --> 01:12:02,406 - Help me! - Madonna! 1170 01:12:06,118 --> 01:12:08,620 Hiya! 1171 01:12:52,414 --> 01:12:55,459 Die, die! 1172 01:12:57,794 --> 01:13:00,005 Order up. 1173 01:13:02,216 --> 01:13:05,010 Pablo Escobar sends his regards! 1174 01:13:12,142 --> 01:13:16,313 Pablo Escobar, you just made the biggest mistake of your life. 1175 01:14:32,723 --> 01:14:34,683 This'll do. 1176 01:14:49,573 --> 01:14:51,933 So, then I'm stomping on him and stomping him with my boots, 1177 01:14:51,992 --> 01:14:53,632 and he's calling for his mom and I'm like, 1178 01:14:53,660 --> 01:14:55,787 "Stop being so extra." You know, it's like... 1179 01:14:55,871 --> 01:14:59,875 Oh, my goodness! Ha ha! That better not be vanilla. 1180 01:14:59,958 --> 01:15:01,293 Who was it? 1181 01:15:01,376 --> 01:15:03,712 - No, who was it? - Escobar! 1182 01:15:03,795 --> 01:15:07,007 Oh, Mr. Yankovic. 1183 01:15:07,090 --> 01:15:10,219 We've been expecting you. Welcome, welcome. 1184 01:15:10,302 --> 01:15:14,723 As you know, I am a huge, huge fan of your music. 1185 01:15:14,806 --> 01:15:17,976 I got all of your albums through the Columbia House Record Club. 1186 01:15:18,060 --> 01:15:21,438 Twelve for one penny, you guys. Really great deal. 1187 01:15:21,522 --> 01:15:23,023 Really great deal. 1188 01:15:23,106 --> 01:15:26,860 Anyway, I... Oops. I hope you will forgive me 1189 01:15:26,944 --> 01:15:28,904 for kidnapping your lovely girlfriend. 1190 01:15:28,987 --> 01:15:31,657 It just seemed like that was the only way 1191 01:15:31,740 --> 01:15:34,743 to guarantee that you would come to my birthday party. 1192 01:15:34,826 --> 01:15:38,497 Your agent, oy, a real nightmare to deal with, if I'm gonna be honest. 1193 01:15:38,580 --> 01:15:40,123 Real vicious guy. 1194 01:15:40,207 --> 01:15:42,417 You know, I'm sorry. Let me turn down the music please. 1195 01:15:42,501 --> 01:15:43,919 Just a little annoying, yeah. 1196 01:15:50,092 --> 01:15:52,678 I can hear myself think now. 1197 01:15:52,761 --> 01:15:54,847 It's so noisy up in there. Aah, the voices. 1198 01:15:54,930 --> 01:15:57,349 Oh. Oh, where are my manners? 1199 01:15:57,432 --> 01:16:00,686 We were just about to cut the cake. May I offer you a slice? 1200 01:16:00,769 --> 01:16:02,145 Let's get him a slice, please. 1201 01:16:02,229 --> 01:16:04,106 No. No cake. 1202 01:16:04,189 --> 01:16:06,692 Okay, Mr. Diet. 1203 01:16:06,775 --> 01:16:08,026 More for us, am I right? 1204 01:16:08,110 --> 01:16:10,988 I just want my woman, then I'll go. 1205 01:16:12,531 --> 01:16:16,410 Ah, you want your woman. Okay. 1206 01:16:16,493 --> 01:16:21,039 I'm afraid that's not how it works, Mr. Yankovic. 1207 01:16:21,123 --> 01:16:24,042 You see, you can't leave until you perform for me. 1208 01:16:24,126 --> 01:16:26,086 - Do you understand me? - No dice. 1209 01:16:26,170 --> 01:16:28,589 Not gonna happen. I'm not your monkey. 1210 01:16:28,672 --> 01:16:32,509 - I can do "Borderline." - No, I don't want that. I want him. 1211 01:16:32,593 --> 01:16:35,888 Mr. Yankovic, why-why all the drama? 1212 01:16:35,971 --> 01:16:37,723 I mean, you're already here. 1213 01:16:37,806 --> 01:16:41,476 Just perform one measly song for us and then you guys can leave. 1214 01:16:41,560 --> 01:16:44,813 Come on, just one song, no? 1215 01:16:44,897 --> 01:16:47,482 How about that wonderful 1216 01:16:47,566 --> 01:16:50,068 Michael Jackson parody that you did, huh? 1217 01:16:51,403 --> 01:16:54,573 That's not a parody! 1218 01:17:20,891 --> 01:17:24,728 Stop! Stop! It's my birthday. Stop it! Stop it! 1219 01:17:27,272 --> 01:17:31,276 Well, first off, rude. Okay? And second of all, 1220 01:17:31,360 --> 01:17:34,488 if you really, really don't wanna entertain us, then fine. 1221 01:17:34,571 --> 01:17:36,031 You can just leave. 1222 01:17:38,075 --> 01:17:40,244 Wait, so, so we can just go? 1223 01:17:41,662 --> 01:17:44,373 Yeah, you can go whenever you want. 1224 01:17:45,290 --> 01:17:47,042 Psych! 1225 01:17:47,125 --> 01:17:48,836 No! 1226 01:17:53,590 --> 01:17:55,175 Very unfortunate. 1227 01:17:55,259 --> 01:17:59,429 He was like a god among men, and now just worm food. 1228 01:17:59,513 --> 01:18:04,309 Tsk, tsk, tsk. Anyway, back to the party. Should we cut the cake or...? 1229 01:18:04,393 --> 01:18:10,065 Hey, Pablo, you forgot one thing. 1230 01:18:12,109 --> 01:18:13,652 I'm certified platinum. 1231 01:18:16,864 --> 01:18:18,156 Hey, Escobar. 1232 01:18:19,241 --> 01:18:20,701 Eat it. 1233 01:18:28,917 --> 01:18:31,587 Okay, let's get outta here. 1234 01:18:34,882 --> 01:18:37,384 I just gotta get this medallion. 1235 01:18:37,467 --> 01:18:42,347 Okay. Oh, it's in there. Ah. 1236 01:18:42,431 --> 01:18:45,684 Oh, gross, gross, gross, gross, gross! 1237 01:18:50,230 --> 01:18:51,648 You just killed Pablo Escobar! 1238 01:18:51,732 --> 01:18:54,818 I know! I've killed so many people this week. 1239 01:18:54,902 --> 01:18:58,530 Before last Thursday, I never really killed anyone. 1240 01:18:58,614 --> 01:19:02,534 The things we do for love, huh? Okay, come on. We gotta go. 1241 01:19:02,618 --> 01:19:06,538 Well, now, wait, wait, wait, hear me out here. 1242 01:19:06,622 --> 01:19:10,417 With Escobar out of the picture, maybe... 1243 01:19:10,501 --> 01:19:12,211 maybe we can run the drug cartel. 1244 01:19:12,294 --> 01:19:13,795 Wait, what? 1245 01:19:13,879 --> 01:19:15,881 Supply and demand, baby. 1246 01:19:15,964 --> 01:19:20,511 Look, someone's gotta run the cartel. May as well be me. Us. 1247 01:19:20,594 --> 01:19:23,347 You can't be serious. What about all our plans? 1248 01:19:23,430 --> 01:19:25,766 Writing songs together, touring together. 1249 01:19:25,849 --> 01:19:28,685 Why rule the music industry when you can rule the world? 1250 01:19:28,769 --> 01:19:31,730 All the money and power is right here. 1251 01:19:31,813 --> 01:19:34,024 Madonna, that's... 1252 01:19:34,107 --> 01:19:36,109 No. No way. 1253 01:19:36,193 --> 01:19:40,364 My life is in America, and my family would never forgive me 1254 01:19:40,447 --> 01:19:42,533 if I became involved in a drug cartel. 1255 01:19:42,616 --> 01:19:45,327 Well, your family's already disowned you, Al. 1256 01:19:45,410 --> 01:19:47,829 I'm all you've got, remember? 1257 01:19:49,289 --> 01:19:54,002 And we'll still be together. I'll be the head of the cartel... 1258 01:19:54,086 --> 01:19:55,671 and you can be my number two. 1259 01:19:57,589 --> 01:19:58,715 Your number two. 1260 01:20:01,468 --> 01:20:05,597 I can't believe this. Dr. Demento was right. 1261 01:20:05,681 --> 01:20:09,226 You were just using me to further your own career, weren't you? 1262 01:20:11,478 --> 01:20:14,815 Well... yeah. 1263 01:20:16,149 --> 01:20:18,402 My relationship with you was a business decision... 1264 01:20:18,485 --> 01:20:23,574 and so is this. It's all just business. 1265 01:20:26,702 --> 01:20:27,703 Wow. 1266 01:20:30,122 --> 01:20:33,041 Well, okay then. 1267 01:20:35,002 --> 01:20:37,462 I guess... I guess that's it. 1268 01:20:43,177 --> 01:20:44,595 Have a nice life. 1269 01:20:53,187 --> 01:20:54,188 Whoa! 1270 01:20:56,064 --> 01:20:59,735 I can't let you leave, Al. You know too much. 1271 01:20:59,818 --> 01:21:01,236 What are you talking about? 1272 01:21:02,779 --> 01:21:05,073 Stop that! 1273 01:21:05,157 --> 01:21:08,160 We could have made such a beautiful team, 1274 01:21:08,243 --> 01:21:09,870 and you know what? 1275 01:21:09,953 --> 01:21:12,122 I decided I do like Weirdonna better than Madonnavic. 1276 01:21:13,874 --> 01:21:16,335 But that's all over now. 1277 01:21:16,418 --> 01:21:19,713 Our partnership is officially dissolved. 1278 01:21:22,841 --> 01:21:24,259 Goodbye, Madonna. 1279 01:21:43,278 --> 01:21:46,782 Yeah. I had a lot of soul searching to do. 1280 01:21:46,865 --> 01:21:50,369 Was I a parody singer? An original artist? 1281 01:21:50,452 --> 01:21:53,080 The most dangerous assassin in the world? 1282 01:21:53,163 --> 01:21:55,374 Maybe I had lost my way. 1283 01:21:55,457 --> 01:21:57,084 Don't get me wrong, there were things 1284 01:21:57,167 --> 01:21:59,169 I loved about being Weird Al. 1285 01:21:59,253 --> 01:22:01,338 The fame, the money, 1286 01:22:01,421 --> 01:22:04,091 the fancy dinners, joining the Illuminati, 1287 01:22:04,174 --> 01:22:06,677 going to the Illuminati holiday party, 1288 01:22:06,760 --> 01:22:10,264 learning the truth about the moon landing and JFK. 1289 01:22:10,347 --> 01:22:14,017 But without my family, none of that mattered. 1290 01:22:14,101 --> 01:22:16,103 I knew what I had to do. 1291 01:22:32,911 --> 01:22:34,830 There it is, pretty simple. 1292 01:22:36,915 --> 01:22:41,128 When the light turns green, you turn this crank to the left. 1293 01:22:41,211 --> 01:22:45,507 When it turns red, you stop and pull this lever down. 1294 01:22:45,591 --> 01:22:48,635 When it turns green again, you push this lever up 1295 01:22:48,719 --> 01:22:52,347 and turn this crank back to the right. 1296 01:22:52,431 --> 01:22:55,767 Yep, that's about it. Lunch is at 12:30. 1297 01:22:57,519 --> 01:22:59,062 Hey, can I ask you a question? 1298 01:23:00,105 --> 01:23:01,356 Sure. 1299 01:23:02,941 --> 01:23:05,944 What do we make here? 1300 01:23:06,028 --> 01:23:10,532 Your old man said you was funny. 1301 01:23:10,616 --> 01:23:13,785 That's a good one. "What do we make here?" 1302 01:23:43,732 --> 01:23:46,860 Somebody help! My leg! 1303 01:23:46,944 --> 01:23:48,362 Oh, uh... 1304 01:23:48,445 --> 01:23:52,407 It's burning me! Oh, my leg! 1305 01:23:52,491 --> 01:23:55,702 Ahh! Ahh! It burns! 1306 01:23:58,205 --> 01:23:59,748 Hey. 1307 01:23:59,831 --> 01:24:02,000 Cleanup crew to the control room. 1308 01:24:02,084 --> 01:24:03,877 You got a minute? 1309 01:24:03,961 --> 01:24:06,296 Well, what? 1310 01:24:08,549 --> 01:24:10,759 You want to take a swing, old man? 1311 01:24:14,221 --> 01:24:15,389 No. 1312 01:24:17,766 --> 01:24:21,436 Just... what are you doing here? 1313 01:24:22,604 --> 01:24:25,649 What am I doing here? Really?! 1314 01:24:27,568 --> 01:24:30,362 All my life, all I wanted to do is please you, 1315 01:24:30,445 --> 01:24:32,197 but I was never enough. 1316 01:24:32,281 --> 01:24:35,242 You were always disappointed in your weird son. 1317 01:24:35,325 --> 01:24:38,745 So yeah, I gave up the most successful career 1318 01:24:38,829 --> 01:24:41,748 in music history to come work at this miserable factory 1319 01:24:41,832 --> 01:24:43,542 because it's what you've always wanted 1320 01:24:43,625 --> 01:24:45,836 and what, it is still not enough for you? 1321 01:24:45,919 --> 01:24:47,462 I appreciate what you're doing. 1322 01:24:48,922 --> 01:24:51,341 This isn't the life for you. 1323 01:24:51,425 --> 01:24:53,969 Oh, what? So I'm not even good at turning cranks now. 1324 01:24:54,052 --> 01:24:55,572 No, Alfred, that's not what I'm saying. 1325 01:24:55,596 --> 01:24:57,222 What are you saying, then? 1326 01:25:03,020 --> 01:25:04,938 I was wrong to stand in your way. 1327 01:25:07,983 --> 01:25:10,110 This isn't what you were meant for. 1328 01:25:11,945 --> 01:25:13,238 You're special. 1329 01:25:14,656 --> 01:25:18,660 You're Weird Al, and you're my son. 1330 01:25:21,580 --> 01:25:22,831 And I'm, uh... 1331 01:25:24,291 --> 01:25:25,584 I'm proud of you. 1332 01:25:33,175 --> 01:25:34,593 What are you doing? 1333 01:25:40,057 --> 01:25:41,058 Dad! 1334 01:25:47,814 --> 01:25:51,276 ♪ Jingle bells, Batman smells Robin laid an egg ♪ 1335 01:25:51,360 --> 01:25:55,405 ♪ The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker ran away, hey! ♪ 1336 01:25:55,489 --> 01:25:58,242 Yeah, that's an absolute classic. 1337 01:25:58,325 --> 01:26:01,119 Whew. 1338 01:26:01,203 --> 01:26:03,664 Well, so Mom tells me you're dating that singer Madonna. 1339 01:26:03,747 --> 01:26:07,292 Oh, um, no, we-we broke up. 1340 01:26:07,376 --> 01:26:10,295 Oh, I'm sorry, honey. What happened? 1341 01:26:10,379 --> 01:26:12,756 Yeah. It's-it's complicated. 1342 01:26:12,840 --> 01:26:15,676 Well, don't worry. There's plenty of other fish in the sea. 1343 01:26:15,759 --> 01:26:19,429 So, so, what is it like? What's it like being you? 1344 01:26:19,513 --> 01:26:22,975 You know, world famous superstar and all? 1345 01:26:23,058 --> 01:26:29,106 Well, um, it's-it's fun, but it's also a lot of pressure. 1346 01:26:30,274 --> 01:26:33,652 The hardest part for me is just coming up with new songs. 1347 01:26:33,735 --> 01:26:37,197 I-I never know where my next idea's gonna come from. 1348 01:26:37,281 --> 01:26:40,450 And yeah, I-I honestly, I don't know if I have it in me anymore. 1349 01:26:40,534 --> 01:26:43,579 Oh, nonsense. I'm sure that next big idea 1350 01:26:43,662 --> 01:26:45,831 is just right there in front of you. 1351 01:26:49,751 --> 01:26:52,379 Well, you may have noticed I've put on a little weight. 1352 01:26:52,462 --> 01:26:54,131 Don't be silly, Ma. You look great. 1353 01:26:54,214 --> 01:26:57,009 You do, dear. I think you look wonderful with a few extra pounds. 1354 01:26:57,092 --> 01:26:58,635 I think you're pleasingly plump. 1355 01:26:58,719 --> 01:27:01,722 Oh, Nick. You know I'm fat. 1356 01:27:01,805 --> 01:27:03,682 I'm fat, you know it. 1357 01:27:08,270 --> 01:27:09,605 What? 1358 01:27:09,688 --> 01:27:10,688 Wow. 1359 01:27:10,731 --> 01:27:12,816 Dad, can I ask you something? 1360 01:27:14,902 --> 01:27:18,655 Mom told me growing up, you always had your reasons 1361 01:27:18,739 --> 01:27:20,574 for being so hard on me. 1362 01:27:24,494 --> 01:27:26,246 I think it's time, dear. 1363 01:27:29,458 --> 01:27:30,792 All right. 1364 01:27:44,473 --> 01:27:47,267 Oh, whoa. 1365 01:27:48,894 --> 01:27:53,148 I wrote it all down. This should explain everything. 1366 01:27:53,232 --> 01:27:56,693 Okay, do you have maybe a-a photo album 1367 01:27:56,777 --> 01:27:58,987 or we can just go through the bullet points together? 1368 01:27:59,071 --> 01:28:02,115 I don't have a photo album, but I have a sketchbook. 1369 01:28:02,199 --> 01:28:03,659 A sketchbook? 1370 01:28:06,078 --> 01:28:09,665 You see, we didn't have any cameras 1371 01:28:09,748 --> 01:28:13,168 when I was growing up because... 1372 01:28:16,004 --> 01:28:17,506 I was raised Amish. 1373 01:28:19,216 --> 01:28:20,801 What, really? 1374 01:28:20,884 --> 01:28:24,054 Yep. I grew up Amish. 1375 01:28:24,930 --> 01:28:27,683 Lived in the community for the first 16 years of my life. 1376 01:28:27,766 --> 01:28:31,061 And frankly, I don't think I ever really fit in 1377 01:28:31,144 --> 01:28:33,689 because, well, if I'm being honest, 1378 01:28:33,772 --> 01:28:37,818 I was just as weird as you when I was a kid. 1379 01:28:38,777 --> 01:28:40,779 Yeah, I even made up new words to the hymns 1380 01:28:40,863 --> 01:28:42,865 that we sang during church service. 1381 01:28:42,948 --> 01:28:45,284 That didn't go over too well. 1382 01:28:47,286 --> 01:28:49,955 That boy will never learn. 1383 01:28:50,038 --> 01:28:51,748 And then when I was a few years older, 1384 01:28:51,832 --> 01:28:53,834 I was able to go on rumspringa. 1385 01:28:53,917 --> 01:28:56,628 I finally had a chance to go out into the great big world 1386 01:28:56,712 --> 01:29:00,424 and see what it had to offer. 1387 01:29:00,507 --> 01:29:03,093 And that's when I saw the love of my life, 1388 01:29:03,177 --> 01:29:06,346 a 1933 Excelsior, 1389 01:29:06,430 --> 01:29:10,225 the finest accordion there ever was. 1390 01:29:10,309 --> 01:29:14,730 Cost me every penny I had in the world, but it was worth it. 1391 01:29:14,813 --> 01:29:17,191 So wait-wait-wait, you had an accordion? 1392 01:29:17,274 --> 01:29:20,736 I did, I did, I did, I was pretty good at it too. 1393 01:29:20,819 --> 01:29:23,322 I was not bad. I was not bad at all. 1394 01:29:23,405 --> 01:29:25,073 I thought I was the love of your life. 1395 01:29:25,157 --> 01:29:27,117 Oh, honey, you come later, please. Anyway... 1396 01:29:27,201 --> 01:29:28,911 So, I tried for months to make it 1397 01:29:28,994 --> 01:29:30,829 as a professional musician, 1398 01:29:30,913 --> 01:29:32,456 but it just wasn't in God's plan. 1399 01:29:32,539 --> 01:29:33,999 Get outta here! 1400 01:29:34,082 --> 01:29:36,752 Failure mocked me at every waking moment. 1401 01:29:36,835 --> 01:29:38,587 Hey, there, squeeze box. 1402 01:29:38,670 --> 01:29:41,089 I knew that I had to give up my dream 1403 01:29:41,173 --> 01:29:44,259 and go back to the only life that I'd ever known. 1404 01:29:44,343 --> 01:29:46,887 But when I tried to come back to the Amish community, 1405 01:29:46,970 --> 01:29:49,556 well, the second they saw that squeeze box, 1406 01:29:49,640 --> 01:29:54,478 I was immediately ex-communicated, banished forever. 1407 01:29:54,561 --> 01:29:56,772 My whole world was torn away from me. 1408 01:29:56,855 --> 01:29:58,941 All I knew was I never wanted to see 1409 01:29:59,024 --> 01:30:02,778 another accordion again, for as long as I lived. 1410 01:30:02,861 --> 01:30:05,239 So I got a job at the factory, 1411 01:30:05,322 --> 01:30:08,784 a place where I knew you could get an honest day's wages 1412 01:30:08,867 --> 01:30:10,994 for an honest day's work. 1413 01:30:11,078 --> 01:30:12,704 And that's when I met... 1414 01:30:13,914 --> 01:30:15,541 the true love of my life. 1415 01:30:16,959 --> 01:30:18,544 Your mother. 1416 01:30:18,627 --> 01:30:20,254 Wow. 1417 01:30:20,337 --> 01:30:22,965 Dad, I... I never knew. 1418 01:30:25,259 --> 01:30:27,886 Of course you didn't. How could you, I just told you. 1419 01:30:27,970 --> 01:30:30,222 I just, the whole story was about... 1420 01:30:31,181 --> 01:30:32,975 Anyway, look, 1421 01:30:34,184 --> 01:30:37,312 son, I hope that you can forgive me and I hope you understand. 1422 01:30:39,398 --> 01:30:41,942 I lost everything and I didn't want you 1423 01:30:42,025 --> 01:30:44,278 to suffer the same sad fate. 1424 01:30:46,780 --> 01:30:48,907 I didn't want you to get your dreams crushed, 1425 01:30:48,991 --> 01:30:52,411 so I thought I should crush your ideas 1426 01:30:52,494 --> 01:30:54,413 before they could turn into dreams. 1427 01:30:57,708 --> 01:31:00,669 Yeah, that makes sense. 1428 01:31:02,588 --> 01:31:03,630 Oh. 1429 01:31:04,965 --> 01:31:08,135 Oh, that's nothing. You can just throw that thing out, that's... 1430 01:31:08,218 --> 01:31:10,679 - "Amish Paradise?" - Nope, just tear that up in little pieces 1431 01:31:10,762 --> 01:31:12,848 - and get rid of that. - Dad. 1432 01:31:12,931 --> 01:31:14,433 Are these song lyrics? 1433 01:31:14,516 --> 01:31:16,202 That's just something stupid I wrote a while ago. 1434 01:31:16,226 --> 01:31:17,686 It doesn't matter. You can just... 1435 01:31:17,769 --> 01:31:20,105 No, no, no, Dad, these lyrics... 1436 01:31:21,690 --> 01:31:23,942 they're like a window into your soul. 1437 01:31:25,110 --> 01:31:26,880 I don't think I've ever felt more connected to you than this 1438 01:31:26,904 --> 01:31:28,530 in my entire life. 1439 01:31:31,867 --> 01:31:34,036 Well, I never had the chance to perform it myself 1440 01:31:34,119 --> 01:31:36,705 because the dream had already died. 1441 01:31:36,788 --> 01:31:40,542 I thought maybe someday, but no, never mind. 1442 01:31:40,626 --> 01:31:44,671 Never mind. I guess no one will ever hear this song. 1443 01:31:48,383 --> 01:31:51,845 That's it! That's it! 1444 01:31:51,929 --> 01:31:53,514 Mom! 1445 01:31:53,597 --> 01:31:55,325 What did you say like a minute ago, about being fat? 1446 01:31:55,349 --> 01:31:56,934 We're onto something else now. 1447 01:31:57,017 --> 01:31:59,228 We were kind of having a moment here, son. 1448 01:31:59,311 --> 01:32:00,896 Read the room. 1449 01:32:00,979 --> 01:32:03,732 Yeah, I mean, I wrote the book and did the whole thing. 1450 01:32:03,815 --> 01:32:04,900 - Alfy! - The drawing. 1451 01:32:04,983 --> 01:32:06,419 Listen to your father when he's talking! 1452 01:32:06,443 --> 01:32:08,278 Does anything register with you? 1453 01:32:08,362 --> 01:32:11,532 Can you see my lips moving? Nothing gets through to you. 1454 01:32:11,615 --> 01:32:13,992 ♪ We been spendin' most our lives ♪ 1455 01:32:14,076 --> 01:32:17,162 ♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪ 1456 01:32:17,246 --> 01:32:19,623 ♪ I've churned butter once or twice ♪ 1457 01:32:19,706 --> 01:32:22,876 ♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪ 1458 01:32:22,960 --> 01:32:25,295 ♪ It's hard work and sacrifice ♪ 1459 01:32:25,379 --> 01:32:28,966 ♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪ 1460 01:32:29,049 --> 01:32:31,134 ♪ We sell quilts at discount price ♪ 1461 01:32:31,218 --> 01:32:34,513 ♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪ 1462 01:32:34,596 --> 01:32:37,516 ♪ Hitchin' up the buggy Churnin' lots of butter ♪ 1463 01:32:37,599 --> 01:32:40,310 ♪ Raised a barn on Monday Soon I'll raise anutter ♪ 1464 01:32:40,394 --> 01:32:43,230 ♪ Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart? ♪ 1465 01:32:43,313 --> 01:32:46,316 ♪ Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art ♪ 1466 01:32:46,400 --> 01:32:49,111 ♪ I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like ♪ 1467 01:32:49,194 --> 01:32:52,322 ♪ On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife ♪ 1468 01:32:52,406 --> 01:32:54,533 ♪ So don't be vain and don't be whiny ♪ 1469 01:32:54,616 --> 01:32:56,285 ♪ Or else, my brother ♪ 1470 01:32:56,368 --> 01:32:58,208 ♪ I might have to get medieval on your heinie ♪ 1471 01:32:58,287 --> 01:33:00,831 ♪ We been spendin' most our lives ♪ 1472 01:33:00,914 --> 01:33:04,042 ♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪ 1473 01:33:04,126 --> 01:33:06,253 ♪ We're all crazy Mennonites ♪ 1474 01:33:06,336 --> 01:33:07,838 ♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪ 1475 01:33:07,921 --> 01:33:09,840 Man, I shoulda kept the publishing rights. 1476 01:33:09,923 --> 01:33:12,134 ♪ There's no cops or traffic lights ♪ 1477 01:33:12,217 --> 01:33:15,470 ♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪ 1478 01:33:15,554 --> 01:33:18,182 ♪ But you'd probably think it bites ♪ 1479 01:33:18,265 --> 01:33:21,351 ♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪ 1480 01:33:25,731 --> 01:33:26,732 Yecch! 1481 01:33:42,080 --> 01:33:44,458 It is so good to have you back, man. 1482 01:33:44,541 --> 01:33:46,418 Yeah, I was starting to miss the weird one. 1483 01:33:46,502 --> 01:33:49,004 Oh god, I cannot believe I ever said that to you guys. 1484 01:33:49,087 --> 01:33:50,672 I am so, so sorry. 1485 01:33:50,756 --> 01:33:52,299 Hey, you're an artist. 1486 01:33:52,382 --> 01:33:54,551 Being an abusive jerk is all part of the process. 1487 01:33:54,635 --> 01:33:56,345 Yeah, name me one creative genius 1488 01:33:56,428 --> 01:33:58,138 that doesn't have a checkered past 1489 01:33:58,222 --> 01:34:00,807 involving drugs, alcohol and a murderous rampage 1490 01:34:00,891 --> 01:34:02,518 through the heart of the jungle. 1491 01:34:02,601 --> 01:34:05,020 Yeah, I guess you're right. 1492 01:34:05,103 --> 01:34:06,730 I love you guys so much! 1493 01:34:08,440 --> 01:34:10,234 Yeah, yeah. See you out there. 1494 01:34:13,403 --> 01:34:15,531 Dr. D, you came! 1495 01:34:15,614 --> 01:34:18,075 Of course I came. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. 1496 01:34:18,158 --> 01:34:20,452 And well, needless to say, you were amazing. 1497 01:34:20,536 --> 01:34:25,499 Thank you. And I-I also, I really wanna say the way I treated you... 1498 01:34:25,582 --> 01:34:27,626 Stop. I'm gonna stop you right there, okay? 1499 01:34:27,709 --> 01:34:29,211 No apologies necessary. 1500 01:34:29,294 --> 01:34:31,755 I have been thinking a lot about what you said, 1501 01:34:31,839 --> 01:34:34,424 and I realized, Al, that... 1502 01:34:37,261 --> 01:34:40,931 you are like a son to me and, uh... 1503 01:34:41,014 --> 01:34:44,184 Well, I never really had any children of my own, so, uh... 1504 01:34:50,649 --> 01:34:51,984 I want to adopt you. 1505 01:34:57,155 --> 01:34:58,615 Will you be my son? 1506 01:35:00,325 --> 01:35:02,202 Wow. 1507 01:35:02,286 --> 01:35:07,124 Um, you... I... I just made up with my dad. 1508 01:35:09,251 --> 01:35:10,377 You d... You did? 1509 01:35:10,460 --> 01:35:12,129 - Yeah. - That's, wow. Okay. 1510 01:35:12,212 --> 01:35:13,505 Yeah. So yeah, we-we talked. 1511 01:35:13,589 --> 01:35:15,799 - Wow. - We're-we're all good now. 1512 01:35:15,883 --> 01:35:17,152 Cool, the coolest. that's great. 1513 01:35:17,176 --> 01:35:18,969 - That's great. - It is great. 1514 01:35:19,052 --> 01:35:20,554 Oh, good! 1515 01:35:20,637 --> 01:35:21,555 - Yeah. - Cool. 1516 01:35:21,638 --> 01:35:23,140 Wow, that's so cool. 1517 01:35:23,223 --> 01:35:25,184 That's really cool. That's so cool. 1518 01:35:25,267 --> 01:35:27,519 My, my category is coming up really soon, 1519 01:35:27,603 --> 01:35:29,313 I think, so I should probably go change? 1520 01:35:29,396 --> 01:35:30,314 You should... Oh, you should go. Yeah, definitely. 1521 01:35:30,397 --> 01:35:32,441 It's so good to see you. 1522 01:35:32,524 --> 01:35:34,318 - Thank you so much for coming. - Okay. 1523 01:35:34,401 --> 01:35:37,446 - So good. Take care. - All right. 1524 01:35:44,286 --> 01:35:47,539 Please welcome to the stage Grammy Award winner Diana Ross, 1525 01:35:47,623 --> 01:35:51,251 and Intercontinental WWF Champion Hulk Hogan. 1526 01:35:52,544 --> 01:35:56,840 As artists, we learn to express ourselves through our instruments. 1527 01:35:56,924 --> 01:36:01,720 Louis Armstrong had his trumpet and Jimi Hendrix had his guitar. 1528 01:36:01,803 --> 01:36:04,765 And well, my instrument is my voice. 1529 01:36:08,352 --> 01:36:09,770 That's right, Diana. 1530 01:36:09,853 --> 01:36:13,023 And my instruments are these 24-inch pythons. 1531 01:36:13,106 --> 01:36:16,568 Whoo! 1532 01:36:16,652 --> 01:36:20,489 No, no, Mary. That's an oily man. 1533 01:36:22,991 --> 01:36:26,828 And now, the award you've all been waiting for. 1534 01:36:26,912 --> 01:36:30,415 In the category of "Perhaps Not Technically the Best" 1535 01:36:30,499 --> 01:36:33,669 But Arguably the Most Famous Accordion Player 1536 01:36:33,752 --> 01:36:37,464 "in an Extremely Specific Genre of Music." 1537 01:36:37,548 --> 01:36:39,466 And the award goes to... 1538 01:36:48,350 --> 01:36:50,269 "Weird Al" Yankovic! 1539 01:37:17,462 --> 01:37:20,048 Oh, thank you. 1540 01:37:20,132 --> 01:37:23,719 Thank you. Thank you. Oh, this is incredible. 1541 01:37:23,802 --> 01:37:25,804 This award means so much to me, 1542 01:37:25,888 --> 01:37:28,640 and in front of all the billions of people watching 1543 01:37:28,724 --> 01:37:33,103 around the world right now, all I want to say is... 1544 01:37:33,187 --> 01:37:35,439 see, Dad? I told you! 1545 01:37:35,522 --> 01:37:37,941 Yeah! In your face, old man! 1546 01:37:38,025 --> 01:37:41,403 Huh? 1547 01:37:41,486 --> 01:37:45,908 There are so many people here tonight that I need to thank. 1548 01:37:45,991 --> 01:37:49,494 People who mean the world to me and who made me 1549 01:37:49,578 --> 01:37:51,622 everything that I am today. 1550 01:37:51,705 --> 01:37:55,042 But they know who they are, and I'm gonna thank them all later privately. 1551 01:37:56,960 --> 01:38:00,506 Okay, I'm just gonna wrap things up. I don't have much time left. 1552 01:38:00,589 --> 01:38:04,927 I... Y'know, I'm gonna be around for a good long time. 1553 01:38:05,010 --> 01:38:06,887 You don't have to worry about that. 1554 01:38:06,970 --> 01:38:09,389 You're not gonna get rid of me that easy. 1555 01:38:13,519 --> 01:38:16,647 - Waiting on your signal. - Stand by. 1556 01:38:16,730 --> 01:38:20,442 But in my remaining few seconds, I just wanna say... 1557 01:38:22,653 --> 01:38:24,988 live the life you wanna live. 1558 01:38:25,072 --> 01:38:27,991 You know, be as weird as you wanna be. 1559 01:38:28,075 --> 01:38:30,827 Believe me, you will never find true happiness 1560 01:38:30,911 --> 01:38:33,872 until you can truly accept who you are. 1561 01:38:35,207 --> 01:38:38,919 And standing before all of you, right here, right now, 1562 01:38:39,002 --> 01:38:43,423 I can honestly say I have never been more happy 1563 01:38:43,507 --> 01:38:46,927 or more proud in my entire life. 1564 01:38:48,637 --> 01:38:49,930 Thank you. 1565 01:39:04,653 --> 01:39:06,989 Thank you! Thank you! 1566 01:39:13,579 --> 01:39:14,997 Take the shot. 1567 01:39:21,378 --> 01:39:23,547 Nooo! 1568 01:42:27,773 --> 01:42:32,486 ♪ You thought you knew me? Well, you better guess again ♪ 1569 01:42:32,569 --> 01:42:38,075 ♪ Now you know the whole story Now you've heard it all, my friend ♪ 1570 01:42:38,158 --> 01:42:43,747 ♪ You know all my dirty secrets 'Cause we spilled all the tea ♪ 1571 01:42:43,830 --> 01:42:49,837 ♪ There's nothin' left to hide, baby How you like the real me? ♪ 1572 01:42:50,379 --> 01:42:55,509 ♪ Yeah, the truth came out We finally removed all doubt ♪ 1573 01:42:55,592 --> 01:42:59,763 ♪ If it's in a movie, it's gotta be true ♪ 1574 01:42:59,847 --> 01:43:01,223 ♪ Aw, yeah ♪ 1575 01:43:01,306 --> 01:43:03,725 ♪ If you never knew it before ♪ 1576 01:43:03,809 --> 01:43:05,811 ♪ You don't have to wonder anymore ♪ 1577 01:43:05,894 --> 01:43:10,190 ♪ Now you know Now you know ♪ 1578 01:43:12,276 --> 01:43:14,361 ♪ Thought I oughta tell ya so ♪ 1579 01:43:14,444 --> 01:43:16,321 ♪ I shoulda done it long ago ♪ 1580 01:43:16,405 --> 01:43:21,243 ♪ But now you know Now, now you know ♪ 1581 01:43:22,411 --> 01:43:28,125 ♪ Yeah, that's how it all went down, bro We've proof-checked every fact ♪ 1582 01:43:28,208 --> 01:43:33,630 ♪ If you still don't believe it Well, no skin off my back ♪ 1583 01:43:33,714 --> 01:43:39,011 ♪ Just don't call me a liar 'Cause shut up, you weren't there ♪ 1584 01:43:39,094 --> 01:43:45,100 ♪ This movie is now canon Every word is true, I swear ♪ 1585 01:43:45,934 --> 01:43:51,356 ♪ We only changed one thing I really did play Live Aid with Queen ♪ 1586 01:43:51,440 --> 01:43:56,695 ♪ And I blew 'em off the freakin' stage That's right ♪ 1587 01:43:56,778 --> 01:43:59,406 ♪ If you never knew it before ♪ 1588 01:43:59,489 --> 01:44:01,033 ♪ You don't have to wonder anymore ♪ 1589 01:44:01,116 --> 01:44:05,621 ♪ 'Cause now you know Now you know ♪ 1590 01:44:07,831 --> 01:44:09,917 ♪ Thought I oughta tell ya so ♪ 1591 01:44:10,000 --> 01:44:11,835 ♪ I shoulda done it long ago ♪ 1592 01:44:11,919 --> 01:44:16,798 ♪ But now you know Now, now you know ♪ 1593 01:44:30,479 --> 01:44:32,731 ♪ Aw, what a wild ride ♪ 1594 01:44:32,814 --> 01:44:35,859 ♪ How about that part where I died? ♪ 1595 01:44:35,943 --> 01:44:38,737 ♪ I was not expecting that! ♪ 1596 01:44:40,656 --> 01:44:42,783 ♪ But I'm back, baby ♪ 1597 01:44:44,451 --> 01:44:49,039 ♪ Here to wreak my zombie apocalypse upon you all ♪ 1598 01:44:49,122 --> 01:44:54,127 ♪ Now you know Now you know ♪ 1599 01:44:54,211 --> 01:44:56,171 ♪ Now, now you know ♪ 1600 01:44:56,255 --> 01:44:57,923 ♪ You know it ♪ 1601 01:44:58,006 --> 01:45:00,050 ♪ And the union-scale background singers sing ♪ 1602 01:45:00,133 --> 01:45:05,222 ♪ Now you know Now you know ♪ 1603 01:45:05,305 --> 01:45:07,391 ♪ Now, now you know ♪ 1604 01:45:07,474 --> 01:45:10,060 ♪ No fabrications, no exaggerations ♪ 1605 01:45:10,143 --> 01:45:11,562 ♪ It's the gospel truth ♪ 1606 01:45:11,645 --> 01:45:16,108 ♪ Now you know Now you know ♪ 1607 01:45:16,191 --> 01:45:19,194 ♪ Now, now you know ♪ 1608 01:45:19,278 --> 01:45:22,447 ♪ Startin' to feel like this song is slightly repetitive ♪ 1609 01:45:22,531 --> 01:45:27,286 ♪ Now you know Now you know ♪ 1610 01:45:27,369 --> 01:45:30,372 ♪ Now, now you know ♪ 1611 01:45:39,882 --> 01:45:41,550 Wow, fake-out ending! 1612 01:45:41,633 --> 01:45:46,471 ♪ Now you know Now you know ♪ 1613 01:45:46,555 --> 01:45:48,724 ♪ Now, now you know ♪ 1614 01:45:48,807 --> 01:45:51,143 ♪ Look at all these people in the credits ♪ 1615 01:45:51,226 --> 01:45:53,061 ♪ We had to pay 'em all ♪ 1616 01:45:53,145 --> 01:45:57,107 ♪ Now you know Now you know ♪ 1617 01:45:57,191 --> 01:45:59,109 ♪ Now, now you know ♪ 1618 01:45:59,193 --> 01:46:01,195 ♪ Oh hey, I remember him ♪ 1619 01:46:01,278 --> 01:46:03,780 ♪ Met him on the set, seemed like a really nice guy ♪ 1620 01:46:03,864 --> 01:46:08,243 ♪ Now you know Now you know ♪ 1621 01:46:08,327 --> 01:46:10,120 ♪ Now, now you know ♪ 1622 01:46:10,204 --> 01:46:12,915 ♪ All these songs were in the movie you just watched ♪ 1623 01:46:12,998 --> 01:46:14,416 ♪ Including this one ♪ 1624 01:46:14,499 --> 01:46:19,004 ♪ Now you know Now you know ♪ 1625 01:46:33,143 --> 01:46:36,897 Awwwwww, double fake-out! 1626 01:46:36,980 --> 01:46:41,610 ♪ Now you know Now you know ♪ 1627 01:46:41,693 --> 01:46:43,320 ♪ Now, now you know ♪ 1628 01:46:43,403 --> 01:46:47,491 ♪ This song just keeps goin' on and on and on and on and on ♪ 1629 01:46:47,574 --> 01:46:52,162 ♪ Now you know Now you know ♪ 1630 01:46:52,246 --> 01:46:54,998 ♪ Now, now you know ♪ 1631 01:46:55,082 --> 01:46:58,252 ♪ Seriously, how many more credits can there be? ♪ 1632 01:46:58,335 --> 01:47:02,673 ♪ Now you know Now you know ♪ 1633 01:47:02,756 --> 01:47:04,800 ♪ Now, now you know ♪ 1634 01:47:04,883 --> 01:47:08,679 ♪ This song is technically eligible for Oscar consideration ♪ 1635 01:47:08,762 --> 01:47:13,267 ♪ Now you know Now you know ♪ 1636 01:47:13,350 --> 01:47:15,227 ♪ Now you know ♪ 128536