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0
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1
00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:07,968
Oh. Hold your calls,
America.
2
00:00:07,968 --> 00:00:08,968
We have a winner.
3
00:00:10,501 --> 00:00:11,634
God, look at her.
4
00:00:11,634 --> 00:00:13,400
Her name
is Kimmy.
5
00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:14,634
Why don't you
ask her out?
6
00:00:14,634 --> 00:00:15,767
Yeah, good idea.
7
00:00:15,767 --> 00:00:16,968
How's this?
8
00:00:16,968 --> 00:00:19,667
My puppy's not feeling well.
Hold me?
9
00:00:19,667 --> 00:00:22,901
Just be honest.
Women respond to honesty.
10
00:00:22,901 --> 00:00:23,901
Honesty...
11
00:00:23,901 --> 00:00:25,934
Come on, trust me.
Trust me, trust me.
12
00:00:25,934 --> 00:00:27,234
Hmm...
13
00:00:28,701 --> 00:00:31,601
Hi! I'm Dennis Finch.
14
00:00:31,601 --> 00:00:32,767
I don't know you,
15
00:00:32,767 --> 00:00:34,267
but I think
you're really cute.
16
00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:36,167
Ah, I'd like
to see you naked.
17
00:00:36,167 --> 00:00:38,300
I'd like to have sex
with you--
18
00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:40,934
brief, powerful sex
followed by an eight-hour nap.
19
00:00:42,033 --> 00:00:43,067
In the morning,
20
00:00:43,067 --> 00:00:44,667
I'll brag to everybody
I see about it,
21
00:00:44,667 --> 00:00:46,334
and I'll keep bragging.
22
00:00:46,334 --> 00:00:50,968
Oh, yes, I'll brag away.
So... what do you think?
23
00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,234
Get away from me,
24
00:00:52,234 --> 00:00:53,701
or I'll staple your head
to a wall.
25
00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:57,901
Have a nice day.
26
00:01:01,067 --> 00:01:02,934
Lesbian.
27
00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:10,000
[***]
28
00:01:18,834 --> 00:01:22,234
Is there anything worse
than Monday morning?
29
00:01:22,234 --> 00:01:25,133
It's Wednesday
afternoon.
30
00:01:25,133 --> 00:01:26,434
Where have you been
all week?
31
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:27,534
How was Paris?
32
00:01:27,534 --> 00:01:29,400
I was in Paris?
33
00:01:30,767 --> 00:01:32,400
Anyway, tomorrow's
Jack's birthday,
34
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:33,801
and I'm throwing
a little surprise party.
35
00:01:33,801 --> 00:01:36,868
Wait a second.
Why are you throwing it?
36
00:01:36,868 --> 00:01:38,133
Because I'm his favorite.
37
00:01:38,133 --> 00:01:41,234
No, you're not.
I've known him for 25 years.
38
00:01:41,234 --> 00:01:43,033
I've seen him naked.
39
00:01:43,033 --> 00:01:44,033
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
40
00:01:44,033 --> 00:01:45,400
We were all at that
Christmas party.
41
00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:52,167
Look, I just think that I should
be involved somehow.
42
00:01:52,167 --> 00:01:53,234
You will be.
43
00:01:53,234 --> 00:01:54,434
You'll be drinking
all the liquor
44
00:01:54,434 --> 00:01:55,901
before the guests arrive.
45
00:01:55,901 --> 00:01:58,067
How dare you.
46
00:01:58,067 --> 00:02:00,133
What kind of liquor?
47
00:02:01,334 --> 00:02:02,567
6:00 sharp.
48
00:02:02,567 --> 00:02:05,501
And the key word
is "surprise", blabbo.
49
00:02:06,634 --> 00:02:08,567
What do you mean, "blabbo"?
50
00:02:08,567 --> 00:02:11,601
Uh, does Baxter's
retirement party ring a bell?
51
00:02:11,601 --> 00:02:13,834
How did I know
he was in the next stall?
52
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,968
His legs are short.
53
00:02:20,834 --> 00:02:22,834
Look, you may be
arranging this party,
54
00:02:22,834 --> 00:02:25,167
but I'm going to get him
the better gift.
55
00:02:25,167 --> 00:02:27,334
Oh, you will,
will you?
56
00:02:28,834 --> 00:02:29,834
Earmuffs?
57
00:02:29,834 --> 00:02:32,167
Not just earmuffs.
58
00:02:32,167 --> 00:02:33,601
There's a chip in the fur
59
00:02:33,601 --> 00:02:36,434
that plays classic routines
from comedy duos.
60
00:02:36,434 --> 00:02:40,767
That is the dumbest thing
I have ever heard.
61
00:02:40,767 --> 00:02:41,901
He'll love it.
62
00:02:41,901 --> 00:02:43,133
[JACK LAUGHING]
63
00:02:43,133 --> 00:02:45,701
[LAUGHS]
64
00:02:45,701 --> 00:02:47,501
That Burns and Allen!
65
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,501
Ha-ha-ha.
66
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:50,434
Say good night,
Gracie.
67
00:02:51,667 --> 00:02:54,167
Got yourself
a little gift, huh, Jack?
68
00:02:54,167 --> 00:02:56,234
Yeah, well,
tomorrow's my birthday,
69
00:02:56,234 --> 00:02:58,567
and I always treat myself
to something fun.
70
00:02:58,567 --> 00:03:00,701
That way, I won't
be disappointed.
71
00:03:00,701 --> 00:03:03,067
I guess that goes back
to when I was a kid.
72
00:03:03,067 --> 00:03:04,267
Why?
What happened?
73
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,734
Well, my parents
promised me every year
74
00:03:06,734 --> 00:03:10,367
a visit from my matinee idol
Cowboy Pete
75
00:03:10,367 --> 00:03:12,834
and his trusty sidekick
Monkey Dan,
76
00:03:12,834 --> 00:03:14,501
but it never happened.
77
00:03:14,501 --> 00:03:16,934
Why does a cowboy
have a monkey?
78
00:03:16,934 --> 00:03:20,167
Because the monkey
saved his life.
79
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:21,667
That was his debt.
80
00:03:21,667 --> 00:03:23,133
There was a code of honor
back then.
81
00:03:25,567 --> 00:03:27,033
Hi.
82
00:03:27,033 --> 00:03:28,567
Morning, honey.
83
00:03:28,567 --> 00:03:29,868
Listen, Dad, I just found out
84
00:03:29,868 --> 00:03:31,834
about this incredible story
I want to do.
85
00:03:31,834 --> 00:03:33,667
It's a little edgy,
a little daring--
86
00:03:33,667 --> 00:03:34,801
I like daring.
87
00:03:34,801 --> 00:03:37,033
I discovered
88
00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:38,868
that chemicals
are being illegally dumped
89
00:03:38,868 --> 00:03:40,067
into the city sewer system.
90
00:03:40,067 --> 00:03:41,601
[SNORTS]
91
00:03:43,167 --> 00:03:46,434
Look, it's a textile company.
They make clothes.
92
00:03:47,567 --> 00:03:50,434
Okay, really sexy
clothes.
93
00:03:50,434 --> 00:03:52,300
Interesting.
94
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:54,000
Lose the part
about the chemicals
95
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,067
and call it...
96
00:03:56,067 --> 00:03:58,501
"Dump Your Clothes
and Get Sexy."
97
00:03:58,501 --> 00:04:00,400
Done, sold,
Bob's your uncle.
98
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,767
That's really not the angle
I was going for.
99
00:04:03,767 --> 00:04:05,734
See, the chemicals are being
dumped into the sewer--
100
00:04:05,734 --> 00:04:10,434
Okay, "Dump Your Boyfriend
and Get a Chemical Peel."
101
00:04:10,434 --> 00:04:13,167
Shoot it, stuff it,
hang it on the wall.
102
00:04:13,167 --> 00:04:14,934
Dad, the story is about
103
00:04:14,934 --> 00:04:17,267
the illegal dumping
of phosphates.
104
00:04:17,267 --> 00:04:20,200
Okay. "How to Peel Off
Your Boyfriend's Clothes."
105
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,567
Bank it, spank it,
smack it on the bing-bong.
106
00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:31,868
Well, if you don't
want to do this story,
107
00:04:31,868 --> 00:04:33,467
I'll just take it
to the Village Voice.
108
00:04:33,467 --> 00:04:35,767
Okay.
I'll do it.
109
00:04:35,767 --> 00:04:37,167
I'll drive you there.
I'm not bluffing.
110
00:04:37,167 --> 00:04:38,767
I'm getting my keys.
Fine.
111
00:04:38,767 --> 00:04:41,200
Why are you being
so adamant?
112
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,067
By the way,
Erin Simon called.
113
00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:44,634
Her plane lands at 4.
114
00:04:44,634 --> 00:04:46,200
Who's Erin Simon?
115
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:47,534
College roommate--
116
00:04:47,534 --> 00:04:49,167
Middle East correspondent
for Newsweek.
117
00:04:49,167 --> 00:04:50,634
Turn-ons:
scented candles.
118
00:04:50,634 --> 00:04:53,100
Turn-offs: Andrew Lloyd Webber
and shrapnel.
119
00:04:54,868 --> 00:04:56,767
Newsweek, huh?
120
00:04:56,767 --> 00:04:57,968
Well, that explains
the sudden interest
121
00:04:57,968 --> 00:04:59,801
in sewage.
What?
122
00:04:59,801 --> 00:05:02,901
Maya, are you embarrassed
about working at this magazine?
123
00:05:02,901 --> 00:05:04,000
Uh!
124
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,434
Of course I am!
125
00:05:06,834 --> 00:05:09,634
Erin is covering
major world events,
126
00:05:09,634 --> 00:05:13,200
and I am writing an article
about chemical peel makeovers.
127
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:14,901
Oh, great!
So you'll do it.
128
00:05:14,901 --> 00:05:17,167
Dad, you're not listening to me!
129
00:05:17,167 --> 00:05:20,934
Maya, let me tell you
a little story.
130
00:05:20,934 --> 00:05:24,200
Years ago, I'm in Chicago
on business,
131
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,267
and everybody's telling
me about the ribs
132
00:05:26,267 --> 00:05:28,634
at this place
called Twin Anchors.
133
00:05:28,634 --> 00:05:31,367
Well, I walk all over
that damn city,
134
00:05:31,367 --> 00:05:33,534
and I can't find it, so...
135
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:36,367
I step into a little
grocery store for directions,
136
00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:38,033
and there's this...
137
00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:41,267
tiny old woman making tamales.
138
00:05:41,267 --> 00:05:42,467
Don't tell me--
139
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,868
the best Mexican food
you've ever eaten.
140
00:05:43,868 --> 00:05:46,200
Nope. I got food poisoning.
141
00:05:47,801 --> 00:05:49,000
Was there a point here?
142
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,434
Yes, the delivery girl
from the pharmacy
143
00:05:52,434 --> 00:05:54,701
had the finest bosoms
I have ever seen...
144
00:05:56,300 --> 00:06:00,200
and this was back when
bosoms were real, Maya!
145
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,801
Dad.
146
00:06:01,801 --> 00:06:03,734
Please,
I'm making a point.
147
00:06:03,734 --> 00:06:05,033
Which is?
148
00:06:05,033 --> 00:06:08,467
Sometimes,
on the way to your dream,
149
00:06:08,467 --> 00:06:10,067
you get lost,
150
00:06:10,067 --> 00:06:11,667
and you find a better one.
151
00:06:12,968 --> 00:06:15,267
Well, good, because
I'm certainly lost now.
152
00:06:15,267 --> 00:06:17,834
Hmm.
153
00:06:17,834 --> 00:06:20,200
Whatever happened to the chick
with the nice ones?
154
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,234
Sheila in accounting.
155
00:06:31,801 --> 00:06:33,534
Hey, there you are.
156
00:06:33,534 --> 00:06:34,801
This came for you.
157
00:06:34,801 --> 00:06:36,334
Oh, put it on my desk.
158
00:06:36,334 --> 00:06:39,200
Well, I already tried.
He won't stay up there.
159
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,133
Aah!
160
00:06:42,567 --> 00:06:43,767
Well, what's
he doing here?
161
00:06:43,767 --> 00:06:46,234
He wasn't supposed to be
delivered till tomorrow.
162
00:06:46,234 --> 00:06:47,334
What do I do?
163
00:06:47,334 --> 00:06:48,868
I don't know.
164
00:06:50,734 --> 00:06:52,634
But the guy said
he either loves affection
165
00:06:52,634 --> 00:06:53,667
or hates affection.
166
00:06:53,667 --> 00:06:54,634
I can't remember now.
167
00:06:59,734 --> 00:07:00,801
Hey, I've
seen this movie--
168
00:07:00,801 --> 00:07:03,067
Every Which WayBut Sober.
169
00:07:04,667 --> 00:07:06,467
Yeah, laugh now,
170
00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:08,167
but this is going
to make Jack's birthday.
171
00:07:08,167 --> 00:07:09,634
How do you figure?
172
00:07:09,634 --> 00:07:11,434
Well, you remember
when the monkey didn't show up
173
00:07:11,434 --> 00:07:12,667
at his party?
174
00:07:12,667 --> 00:07:15,567
Well, now he will,
compliments of yours truly.
175
00:07:15,567 --> 00:07:18,200
That's the dumbest thing
I ever heard.
176
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:19,067
He'll love it!
177
00:07:20,968 --> 00:07:23,167
Hello.
178
00:07:29,067 --> 00:07:31,734
All right. Read that paragraph
back to me.
179
00:07:31,734 --> 00:07:34,234
Hi, I'm Erin Simon.
I'm looking for Maya Gallo.
180
00:07:34,234 --> 00:07:35,734
That's a lovely
necklace.
181
00:07:35,734 --> 00:07:36,801
Thank you.
182
00:07:36,801 --> 00:07:38,200
No, no, no--
The last I checked,
183
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:40,234
Uzvakistan was a monarchy,
not a theocracy.
184
00:07:40,234 --> 00:07:41,968
Erin!
185
00:07:41,968 --> 00:07:44,501
No, no, no!
Do not call him a general.
186
00:07:44,501 --> 00:07:47,067
His official title is
Minister of Agriculture
187
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:49,334
and Discipline.
188
00:07:49,334 --> 00:07:50,601
Okay, keep going.
189
00:07:50,601 --> 00:07:52,868
Yeah, that's great.
Oh, that's perfect.
190
00:07:52,868 --> 00:07:55,033
Ooh, I love that.
191
00:07:55,033 --> 00:07:58,234
Ooh-la-la. Make
mental picture for later.
192
00:07:59,367 --> 00:08:01,334
Okay.
193
00:08:01,334 --> 00:08:04,601
Look at you.
You are so skinny!
194
00:08:04,601 --> 00:08:06,200
You too. You look great!
195
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,834
So this is
where you work, huh?
196
00:08:07,834 --> 00:08:09,067
Yeah, this is
pretty much it--
197
00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:11,300
uh, photo area,
conference area, offices,
198
00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:13,667
woman with a monkey...
kitchenette.
199
00:08:17,968 --> 00:08:20,167
So... what are you
working on?
200
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,801
Oh, I've been uncovering
human rights violations
201
00:08:22,801 --> 00:08:23,834
in Eastern Europe.
202
00:08:23,834 --> 00:08:26,467
Well... I'm working on
203
00:08:26,467 --> 00:08:28,400
quite the hard-hitting piece
myself.
204
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,601
Maya, we've gotta
fill a page,
205
00:08:29,601 --> 00:08:32,567
so come up with some text
for this butt shot.
206
00:08:33,868 --> 00:08:35,467
Not now, Elliott.
207
00:08:35,467 --> 00:08:38,067
If at all possible,
avoid the word "asstastic."
208
00:08:38,067 --> 00:08:41,634
We've already used it
twice this issue.
209
00:08:41,634 --> 00:08:43,501
Oh, hiya, necklace.
Hey, again.
210
00:08:43,501 --> 00:08:45,734
Oh, a couple of us
are going to a club tonight,
211
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:46,734
if you guys wanna go.
212
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:48,234
I'll go.
They got steak?
213
00:08:48,234 --> 00:08:51,400
It is a meat market.
214
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,734
I can't.
215
00:08:52,734 --> 00:08:54,133
My source says they're dumping
chemicals tonight.
216
00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:55,734
And you know how it is
with sources.
217
00:08:55,734 --> 00:08:57,367
Oh, tell me about it.
218
00:08:57,367 --> 00:09:00,167
I had a midnight rendezvous
with an informant in Lebanon.
219
00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:01,234
I'm five minutes late--
220
00:09:01,234 --> 00:09:02,434
his head's rolling
down the street
221
00:09:02,434 --> 00:09:03,801
like a soccer ball.
222
00:09:05,267 --> 00:09:06,734
Well, we'll be
meeting up around 7
223
00:09:06,734 --> 00:09:07,734
if you wanna go.
224
00:09:07,734 --> 00:09:08,968
Cool.
225
00:09:08,968 --> 00:09:12,100
Hey, why don't you come with me
to the sewer?
226
00:09:12,100 --> 00:09:13,167
Seriously?
227
00:09:13,167 --> 00:09:14,767
Yeah! It'll be fun,
like old times.
228
00:09:14,767 --> 00:09:16,200
Checking out leads.
229
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:20,400
I check out leads every day.
I wanna check out some steak.
230
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,868
Come on, Maya.
Come with us.
231
00:09:21,868 --> 00:09:23,100
Oh, I can't.
232
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:24,701
Besides, I don't
want to spend all night
233
00:09:24,701 --> 00:09:25,767
in some dark hole
234
00:09:25,767 --> 00:09:27,501
getting hit on
by some creep.
235
00:09:27,501 --> 00:09:29,334
Want a KitKat?
236
00:09:31,467 --> 00:09:32,467
No, thank you.
237
00:09:32,467 --> 00:09:34,501
Okay.
238
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,501
I know this is gonna
sound weird,
239
00:09:37,501 --> 00:09:40,033
but I just love the fact
that I'm standing in a sewer.
240
00:09:40,033 --> 00:09:42,300
I mean, I haven't done
a hard-hitting news piece
241
00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:43,767
in almost a year.
242
00:09:43,767 --> 00:09:45,000
Hope I can still do it.
243
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,868
It just feels
so good
244
00:09:46,868 --> 00:09:49,734
to know that I'm doing
something meaningful.
245
00:09:49,734 --> 00:09:52,033
Sure you don't want a KitKat?
246
00:09:53,367 --> 00:09:55,267
Ah, what the hell,
we're on stakeout.
247
00:09:56,767 --> 00:09:58,133
Yeah.
248
00:09:58,133 --> 00:10:00,000
I find a lot of candy
down here.
249
00:10:14,267 --> 00:10:15,267
Morning.
250
00:10:15,267 --> 00:10:17,367
Hey, how was the stakeout?
251
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,267
Oh... great.
252
00:10:19,267 --> 00:10:21,000
Uh, there was no dumping
per se,
253
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,801
but I got some
good background.
254
00:10:22,801 --> 00:10:24,400
It's gonna be
a hell of an article.
255
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:25,701
Good. Here, have a bagel.
256
00:10:25,701 --> 00:10:27,367
Oh, thanks.
Hey, it occurred to me
257
00:10:27,367 --> 00:10:28,968
that I forgot to warn you
about Elliott.
258
00:10:28,968 --> 00:10:30,767
He didn't try
to hit on you, did he?
259
00:10:30,767 --> 00:10:31,801
Yep.
260
00:10:31,801 --> 00:10:33,467
Unbelievable.
261
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,467
I would've loved to have seen
how you handled him.
262
00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:37,367
[LAUGHS]
263
00:10:39,367 --> 00:10:41,567
I take that back.
264
00:10:41,567 --> 00:10:42,968
Hey, mind if I wear
your robe?
265
00:10:42,968 --> 00:10:44,801
Not at all.
Mind closing it?
266
00:10:49,334 --> 00:10:51,734
So...
You and Elliott.
267
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:54,367
We may have broken
your shower rod.
268
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,234
I gotta tell you,
though,
269
00:10:57,234 --> 00:10:58,968
I really like
this guy.
You do?
270
00:10:58,968 --> 00:11:02,667
Yeah. I mean, why not?
He's smart, he's sexy.
271
00:11:02,667 --> 00:11:05,400
He's got impeccable
balance.
272
00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:09,701
Erin, seriously, I don't
want you to get hurt.
273
00:11:09,701 --> 00:11:11,801
I mean, Elliott's kind of a...
274
00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:14,167
well, let's just say
that he dates a lot of women.
275
00:11:14,167 --> 00:11:16,601
Boy, you can tell.
276
00:11:16,601 --> 00:11:19,501
That man knows his way
around a woman's body.
277
00:11:19,501 --> 00:11:23,133
I mean, I said, "faster"
and he said, "not yet"
278
00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:25,234
and he was right.
279
00:11:26,701 --> 00:11:30,334
Maya, mind if I use
your toothbrush?
280
00:11:30,334 --> 00:11:33,234
Oh, not at all.
That's the one I use for grout.
281
00:11:48,567 --> 00:11:51,434
Did you know you can't
take a monkey on the subway?
282
00:11:51,434 --> 00:11:53,868
Yeah, bet you can't take half
of what's in your purse
283
00:11:53,868 --> 00:11:56,334
on an airplane.
284
00:11:56,334 --> 00:11:58,501
Oh, Nina, what have you
done to him?
285
00:11:58,501 --> 00:12:00,200
[LAUGHS]
We just bought
286
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:04,467
the most fabulous
Hugo Boss jacket at Barney's.
287
00:12:04,467 --> 00:12:05,534
And it wasn't easy,
288
00:12:05,534 --> 00:12:07,300
considering the length
of his arms.
289
00:12:08,701 --> 00:12:10,501
I'm sure those
restrictive pants
290
00:12:10,501 --> 00:12:12,400
will be the envy
of all the other monkeys.
291
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,567
Well, the important thing is
Jack is going to love him.
292
00:12:15,567 --> 00:12:17,334
You know what else
he's gonna love?
293
00:12:17,334 --> 00:12:19,234
Seems his matinee idol
Cowboy Pete
294
00:12:19,234 --> 00:12:20,467
is still alive
and kicking,
295
00:12:20,467 --> 00:12:21,868
and coming
to the birthday party,
296
00:12:21,868 --> 00:12:24,167
courtesy of the Make-a-Finch
foundation.
297
00:12:24,167 --> 00:12:29,167
Oh. An old man in a cowboy hat.
How ridiculous.
298
00:12:29,167 --> 00:12:30,167
He'll love it!
299
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:31,234
[DENNIS LAUGHS]
300
00:12:32,701 --> 00:12:34,033
[SHOUTS]
You Finch?
301
00:12:34,033 --> 00:12:35,300
God, what are you
doing here?
302
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:36,634
You're eight hours
early.
303
00:12:36,634 --> 00:12:38,234
They kicked me out
of the topless bar.
304
00:12:38,234 --> 00:12:40,267
I wasn't touching
nobody.
305
00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:50,567
I believe
he's with you?
306
00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:53,601
Isn't he cute?
307
00:12:53,601 --> 00:12:54,968
[SMOOCHES]
308
00:12:54,968 --> 00:12:57,567
Nina, I need
that call.
309
00:12:57,567 --> 00:12:58,734
I wouldn't
do that, dear.
310
00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:00,934
He'll rip it
right out of the wall.
311
00:13:00,934 --> 00:13:03,033
You know, we're supposed
to be doing journalism here.
312
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:06,834
Instead, we're babysitting
cowboys and orangutans.
313
00:13:06,834 --> 00:13:09,501
Well, Sam, I guess that waiter
at Tavern on the Green
314
00:13:09,501 --> 00:13:12,234
wasn't the most hostile person
we met today.
315
00:13:12,234 --> 00:13:14,801
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
316
00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:26,901
Mel, sorry to keep you waiting.
Uh, new receptionist.
317
00:13:26,901 --> 00:13:29,400
Tonight... You're sure?
318
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,667
All right.
I'll meet you there.
319
00:13:32,801 --> 00:13:34,000
Hey, I gotta ask you
something.
320
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,067
Oh, me first.
321
00:13:35,067 --> 00:13:36,567
What are you doing
with Erin?
322
00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:38,734
Maya, I am a gentleman.
323
00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:40,334
I'm not gonna tell you
what I did
324
00:13:40,334 --> 00:13:42,701
or did not do with Erin.
325
00:13:42,701 --> 00:13:44,834
But if you must know,
go ask Finch.
326
00:13:47,901 --> 00:13:49,901
Elliott, she's not one
of your models of the week
327
00:13:49,901 --> 00:13:52,100
that you can just toss aside
when you're done with her.
328
00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:53,467
She's a friend of mine!
329
00:13:53,467 --> 00:13:55,868
I know, I don't want
to toss her aside. I like her.
330
00:13:55,868 --> 00:13:57,400
Yeah, right.
331
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:58,601
No, I'm serious.
She's interesting, intelligent.
332
00:13:58,601 --> 00:14:00,667
That's a nice change of pace
for me.
333
00:14:02,167 --> 00:14:04,434
Do you think she'll go away
with me this weekend?
334
00:14:04,434 --> 00:14:07,434
Well, yeah, probably,
I guess.
335
00:14:07,434 --> 00:14:08,701
She said she really liked you.
336
00:14:08,701 --> 00:14:13,234
She did?
What were her exact words?
337
00:14:13,234 --> 00:14:16,667
She said she really liked you.
338
00:14:16,667 --> 00:14:18,200
[GIGGLES]
339
00:14:19,868 --> 00:14:22,033
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've gotta get back to homeroom.
340
00:14:23,501 --> 00:14:25,300
Maya...
341
00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:27,133
Oh, good.
You're here too, Elliott.
342
00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:28,501
Hey, what's
with the bags?
343
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:31,934
The president of Uzvakistan
committed suicide.
344
00:14:31,934 --> 00:14:34,934
He shot himself
47 times in the back.
345
00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:38,300
That stinks.
How long you going for?
346
00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:40,300
Oh, who knows? Last time
I went for three weeks,
347
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:42,200
I ended up
staying two years.
348
00:14:43,701 --> 00:14:45,834
Okay, I'd better run.
349
00:14:45,834 --> 00:14:47,834
It's so good
to see you.
350
00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:49,534
Hey, you keep
that head down.
351
00:14:49,534 --> 00:14:52,634
Oh, I wish
we had more time.
352
00:14:52,634 --> 00:14:53,801
And that goes double
for you.
353
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,100
Well, if you're
ever in New York...
354
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,100
Well, if you're ever
in a crumbling,
355
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:04,234
former Soviet Republic...
356
00:15:06,834 --> 00:15:08,434
Take it easy,
Necklace.
357
00:15:08,434 --> 00:15:10,901
You too, Shower Rod.
358
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:21,467
Can I have this?
359
00:15:21,467 --> 00:15:23,767
I told you to wait
in the studio.
360
00:15:23,767 --> 00:15:26,367
Who is this broad?
361
00:15:26,367 --> 00:15:28,100
That's my mother.
362
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:32,334
That is some sweet caboose.
363
00:15:33,701 --> 00:15:35,033
I'm gonna go
take a nap.
364
00:15:35,033 --> 00:15:36,567
Fine.
365
00:15:36,567 --> 00:15:38,033
No, not in there,
not in there.
Why?
366
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,734
Get off!
367
00:15:40,734 --> 00:15:42,868
Find another
nap place!
368
00:15:45,868 --> 00:15:47,868
Yes, Dennis?
369
00:15:49,334 --> 00:15:51,901
You buzzed me?
370
00:15:51,901 --> 00:15:53,601
No.
371
00:15:53,601 --> 00:15:55,901
Hmm. That's odd.
372
00:15:55,901 --> 00:15:57,701
Say, Dennis,
373
00:15:57,701 --> 00:15:59,901
you haven't planned
any surprises for me, have you?
374
00:15:59,901 --> 00:16:01,334
[LAUGHS]
No.
375
00:16:01,334 --> 00:16:02,334
[DOORKNOB RATTLES]
376
00:16:02,334 --> 00:16:03,834
COWBOY PETE:
I wanna take a nap!
377
00:16:05,267 --> 00:16:06,667
What was that?
378
00:16:06,667 --> 00:16:08,801
I just said
I wanna take a nap,
379
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,801
but I did it
in a comical, old-man voice.
380
00:16:11,801 --> 00:16:13,901
[LAUGHS]
381
00:16:13,901 --> 00:16:15,801
[DOOR CLOSES]
382
00:16:21,934 --> 00:16:23,267
Nina--
Shh!
383
00:16:23,267 --> 00:16:25,701
I just got him
to sleep.
384
00:16:25,701 --> 00:16:28,300
Listen, if anyone needs me,
I gotta get back to the sewer.
385
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:29,901
But Jack's party
starts in an hour.
386
00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:34,067
Oh, God, that's right!
What am I gonna do?
387
00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:35,534
I can't make it.
388
00:16:35,534 --> 00:16:37,601
[SIGHS] Does Finch know
about this?
389
00:16:37,601 --> 00:16:39,000
Why would I tell Finch?
390
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,701
Finch, we have
a situation!
391
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:42,701
You have
to be there.
392
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:44,734
I made my secret punch.
393
00:16:44,734 --> 00:16:47,000
What-- vodka
and food coloring?
394
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,100
Who told you?
395
00:16:49,100 --> 00:16:50,434
Okay, the balloons
are set.
396
00:16:50,434 --> 00:16:51,968
Maya, you're
on helium patrol.
397
00:16:51,968 --> 00:16:53,100
No, forget it,
Elliott.
398
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,367
She's not coming.
What?
399
00:16:54,367 --> 00:16:56,400
Does Finch know
about this?
400
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,267
Finch, we have
a situation!
401
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,934
They're dumping chemicals
tonight. I gotta be there.
402
00:17:00,934 --> 00:17:02,534
Well, what about
the balloon animals?
403
00:17:02,534 --> 00:17:03,934
I can't tie them
by myself.
404
00:17:03,934 --> 00:17:05,000
What's
the problem?
405
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,801
Oh, Maya's gonna
miss the party.
406
00:17:06,801 --> 00:17:08,367
But we got a cowboy.
407
00:17:08,367 --> 00:17:09,434
And a monkey.
408
00:17:09,434 --> 00:17:10,901
And I made
tiny quiches.
409
00:17:12,033 --> 00:17:14,167
I know, but my story...
410
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:18,634
I really wanna be here,
but I don't know...
411
00:17:18,634 --> 00:17:21,033
Well, make a decision
and make it quick.
412
00:17:21,033 --> 00:17:22,767
Duties need
to be reassigned,
413
00:17:22,767 --> 00:17:24,634
and I got cowboy gramps
over at my desk
414
00:17:24,634 --> 00:17:26,000
rifling through my crap.
415
00:17:32,767 --> 00:17:34,534
I'm sorry. I gotta go.
416
00:17:34,534 --> 00:17:35,567
Pfft.
417
00:17:50,667 --> 00:17:52,434
Want a Clark bar?
418
00:17:52,434 --> 00:17:55,834
Not right now,
thank you.
419
00:17:55,834 --> 00:17:57,868
May I tell you something
420
00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,634
I've never told
another living soul?
421
00:17:59,634 --> 00:18:01,534
No, thank you.
422
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:05,868
Oh, what am I doing here?
423
00:18:05,868 --> 00:18:08,901
I ask myself that every night.
424
00:18:08,901 --> 00:18:11,467
I'm missing
my father's birthday party.
425
00:18:11,467 --> 00:18:13,334
It's your pop's
birthday, huh?
426
00:18:13,334 --> 00:18:15,467
Man, I love my dad.
427
00:18:15,467 --> 00:18:17,801
I love my dad too.
428
00:18:17,801 --> 00:18:21,400
Hell, I remember
once Pop wrestled an alligator.
429
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,734
All I could do was stand by
and watch in horror.
430
00:18:23,734 --> 00:18:25,567
Wow. Where were you?
431
00:18:25,567 --> 00:18:26,834
Right over there.
432
00:18:28,701 --> 00:18:32,267
That's where I had
my sandwich.
433
00:18:32,267 --> 00:18:35,133
Wait. Can you hear it?
Hear what?
434
00:18:35,133 --> 00:18:36,634
Phosphates.
They're coming.
435
00:18:41,434 --> 00:18:43,367
See? Told you.
436
00:18:43,367 --> 00:18:45,133
[PIPES SQUEALING]
437
00:18:45,133 --> 00:18:47,267
That's it?
438
00:18:47,267 --> 00:18:48,534
That's why I missed
439
00:18:48,534 --> 00:18:50,701
my father's
birthday party?
440
00:18:50,701 --> 00:18:54,634
What... what am I doing?!
441
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,634
I can't just walk away
from people.
442
00:18:56,634 --> 00:18:59,000
I'm not Erin.
443
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,267
I like working
at that stupid magazine
444
00:19:01,267 --> 00:19:02,434
with all those idiots.
445
00:19:04,267 --> 00:19:06,133
What the hell
am I chasing?
446
00:19:07,267 --> 00:19:08,734
Sometimes on the way
to your dreams,
447
00:19:08,734 --> 00:19:12,300
you get lost,
and you find a better one.
448
00:19:14,033 --> 00:19:17,167
That's amazing. I can't believe
you just said that.
449
00:19:17,167 --> 00:19:18,968
Thanks.
450
00:19:18,968 --> 00:19:21,300
Read it off a whorehouse wall
in Chicago.
451
00:19:24,067 --> 00:19:25,934
Phosphates.
What?
452
00:19:29,634 --> 00:19:31,501
[SCREAMS]
453
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:35,934
That was
a good one.
454
00:19:44,367 --> 00:19:45,934
COWBOY PETE:
It's crooked.
455
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,667
Lower.
456
00:19:49,133 --> 00:19:51,400
Lower!
457
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,033
Perfect!
458
00:19:56,534 --> 00:19:57,901
Thanks, eagle-eye.
459
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:02,667
Don't patronize me,
you little peckerhead.
460
00:20:04,901 --> 00:20:08,767
Security called. Jack just
pulled into the building.
461
00:20:08,767 --> 00:20:10,000
Nina, I think
you've been spending
462
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,701
a little bit too much time
with the monkey.
463
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:19,734
All right, Papa Bear's
approaching the porch.
464
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,367
How is it
465
00:20:26,367 --> 00:20:27,868
working with a monkey
again?
466
00:20:27,868 --> 00:20:30,901
Like a hell
I can never escape.
467
00:20:32,234 --> 00:20:34,133
All right, everybody,
keep your voices down.
468
00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:35,868
We all yell "surprise"
on my cue.
469
00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:36,734
I hear footsteps.
470
00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:42,901
ALL: Surprise!
471
00:20:45,767 --> 00:20:49,267
What did I just say?
"On my cue."
472
00:20:49,267 --> 00:20:51,234
My cue!
473
00:20:51,234 --> 00:20:52,267
Can I have this?
474
00:20:52,267 --> 00:20:53,501
No!
475
00:20:54,934 --> 00:20:55,934
Maya...
476
00:20:55,934 --> 00:20:58,434
your style is fabulous.
477
00:20:58,434 --> 00:20:59,834
What did you use
on your hair?
478
00:20:59,834 --> 00:21:01,234
Raw sewage.
479
00:21:01,234 --> 00:21:04,200
Boy, they really are
running out of good names.
480
00:21:05,534 --> 00:21:07,901
I thought you had
some big story.
481
00:21:07,901 --> 00:21:09,100
Yeah, so did I,
482
00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:10,701
but sometimes on the way
to your dreams,
483
00:21:10,701 --> 00:21:12,868
you get lost
and find a better one.
484
00:21:12,868 --> 00:21:16,701
Hey, I wrote that
on a wall somewhere.
485
00:21:17,901 --> 00:21:20,267
JACK: Where the heck
is everybody?
486
00:21:29,367 --> 00:21:31,133
Surprise!
487
00:21:31,133 --> 00:21:33,501
Yeah, I'll say.
488
00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:38,400
Am I the only one
seeing this?
489
00:21:51,667 --> 00:21:56,200
* Life keeps bringing me
Back to you *
490
00:21:56,200 --> 00:22:00,200
* Keeps bringing me home *
491
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:04,033
* It don't matter
What I'm gonna do *
492
00:22:04,033 --> 00:22:09,801
* 'Cause
It's got a mind of its own *
493
00:22:09,801 --> 00:22:14,534
* Life keeps bringing me
Back to you **
494
00:22:15,534 --> 00:22:25,534
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