All language subtitles for 11. Xandir and Tim, Sitting in a Tree....English

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,166 --> 00:00:07,832 AHH! DOH! 2 00:00:07,866 --> 00:00:09,232 WHAT WAS THAT FOR? 3 00:00:09,266 --> 00:00:11,565 TO HELP ME REMEMBER SOMETHING. 4 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,232 OH, YES. I NEED TO ASK YOU A FAVOR. 5 00:00:13,266 --> 00:00:16,565 MY FRIEND, TIM THOMASEN, IS MAKING HIS FIRST TRIP TO THE BIG CITY, 6 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:19,933 AND I WAS HOPING YOU COULD HANG OUT WITH HIM. 7 00:00:19,966 --> 00:00:22,265 EVERY TIME CAPTAIN HERO ASKS ME TO DO HIM A FAVOR, 8 00:00:22,299 --> 00:00:24,765 IT TURNS INTO SOMETHING LIKE TOTALLY INSANE, 9 00:00:24,799 --> 00:00:26,265 AND I USUALLY GET HURT. 10 00:00:26,299 --> 00:00:29,066 LIKE WHEN HE ASKED ME TO HELP HIM TRAIN FOR THE OLYMPICS. 11 00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:29,732 PULL! 12 00:00:29,766 --> 00:00:30,932 WAAH! 13 00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:36,065 THERE IS NO WAY I'M DOING ANOTHER FAVOR FOR YOU. 14 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:39,332 OOH. THE CAPTAIN HERO SIGNAL. I MUST AWAY. 15 00:00:39,366 --> 00:00:40,831 [DOORBELL RINGS] 16 00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:43,899 DID YOU COME BACK TO HIT ME AGAIN, HERO? 17 00:00:43,933 --> 00:00:46,465 WHAT? I'M NOT CAPTAIN HERO. 18 00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:47,732 I'M HIS FRIEND, 19 00:00:47,766 --> 00:00:50,365 THE MILD-MANNERED SMALL-TOWN REPORTER, TIM THOMASEN. 20 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,365 HOW FUNNY THAT YOU THINK I'M HERO, 21 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,532 SINCE I HAVE DARK SKIN AND BLOND HAIR 22 00:00:54,567 --> 00:00:56,766 THAT FLOWS LIKE A RIVER OF SEXY WHEAT. 23 00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:00,466 I AM SUPPOSED TO MEET A PERSON BY THE NAME OF "XAN-DIR." 24 00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:02,665 TELL ME. DO YOU KNOW HIM, MA'AM? 25 00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:04,632 OH, FUCK ME. 26 00:01:20,133 --> 00:01:22,633 Announcer: HEY, JOIN US NEXT WEEK, KIDS, 27 00:01:22,667 --> 00:01:25,098 FOR A WHOLE NOTHER ADVENTURE. BYE-BYE. 28 00:01:26,366 --> 00:01:29,065 GODDAMN IT, THAT WAS REAL TERRIBLE. 29 00:01:29,099 --> 00:01:31,666 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT OF THAT SHOW? 30 00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,999 [FARTING] 31 00:01:34,033 --> 00:01:35,065 OOH! 32 00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:39,099 [FARTING CONTINUES] 33 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,999 [FARTING CONTINUES] 34 00:01:49,633 --> 00:01:50,699 OOH! 35 00:01:50,733 --> 00:01:55,032 [FARTING CONTINUES] 36 00:01:58,866 --> 00:02:01,166 OHH! AHH! 37 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:04,965 [FARTING CONTINUES] 38 00:02:06,733 --> 00:02:08,833 YEAH. 39 00:02:08,866 --> 00:02:12,665 [FARTING] 40 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:34,699 NOW, WHERE WAS I? 41 00:02:34,734 --> 00:02:37,599 OH, YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT OF THAT SHOW? 42 00:02:37,633 --> 00:02:39,031 DIDN'T CARE FOR IT. 43 00:02:39,066 --> 00:02:40,565 ME NEITHER. 44 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:43,165 THERE MUST BE SOME WAY TO KNOW AHEAD OF TIME WHICH SHOWS WE SHOULD WATCH. 45 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,332 HUH? 46 00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,999 ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY! 47 00:02:50,033 --> 00:02:54,632 "LIKE A HOMOSEXUAL WITH AMNESIA, WE COME OUT EVERY WEEK." 48 00:02:54,667 --> 00:02:57,365 OH, MY GOD. OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED. 49 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:58,432 ♪ HALLELUJAH ♪ 50 00:02:58,467 --> 00:03:01,466 WOW. LOOK AT THIS. COOL. 51 00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:03,132 WHOSE ROOM IS THIS? 52 00:03:03,166 --> 00:03:04,799 THAT'S THE BATHROOM. 53 00:03:04,833 --> 00:03:07,132 YOU'D KNOW THAT EVEN IF YOU WEREN'T CAPTAIN-- 54 00:03:07,166 --> 00:03:08,365 OH, NEVER MIND. 55 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,132 OH, YOU CRAZY BIG-CITY FOLK. 56 00:03:11,166 --> 00:03:14,332 OH, AND I BET THIS IS CAPTAIN HERO'S ROOM. 57 00:03:14,367 --> 00:03:17,031 YOU CAN TELL 'CAUSE IT SMELLS LIKE DIRTY SOCKS 58 00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:19,099 AND SMALL-MINDED HATRED. 59 00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:20,232 [CHUCKLING] 60 00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:21,832 AND SUPER SPUNK. 61 00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:26,000 [THINKING] I HAD NO IDEA WHAT THAT LUNATIC WAS UP TO, 62 00:03:26,034 --> 00:03:28,666 BUT WHEN HERO WEARS THOSE GLASSES AND CALLS HIMSELF TIM, 63 00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:31,065 HE ISN'T NEARLY THE ASSHOLE HE USUALLY IS. 64 00:03:31,099 --> 00:03:33,499 XANDIR, YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUN? 65 00:03:33,534 --> 00:03:35,699 GRAPES. GRAPES ARE FUN. 66 00:03:35,733 --> 00:03:38,199 REALLY? I THINK GRAPES ARE FUN. 67 00:03:38,233 --> 00:03:40,232 GRAPES ARE FUN. 68 00:03:40,266 --> 00:03:43,065 OH, HEY, WE SHOULD HIT THE FARMERS MARKET. 69 00:03:43,099 --> 00:03:46,032 ISN'T THAT A "VINE" IDEA? 70 00:03:46,066 --> 00:03:48,599 WE ARE SO THERE. 71 00:03:48,633 --> 00:03:51,633 All: OOH! 72 00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:53,666 OOH! 73 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,799 ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY. 74 00:03:55,834 --> 00:03:58,132 IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. 75 00:03:58,166 --> 00:04:01,166 AND LOOK. IT TELLS US WHAT MUSIC TO LISTEN TO. 76 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,432 [SPEAKING JAPANESE] 77 00:04:03,466 --> 00:04:04,899 AND WHICH BOOKS TO BURN. 78 00:04:04,933 --> 00:04:07,432 AND THESE COOL LITTLE NUMBERS TELL YOU WHAT PAGE YOU'RE ON. 79 00:04:07,466 --> 00:04:10,699 OH, MY GOD. THERE'S A REVIEW OF DRAWN TOGETHER. 80 00:04:10,733 --> 00:04:12,066 THAT'S US. THAT'S OUR SHOW. 81 00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:13,865 READ IT OUT LOUD. 82 00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:15,499 AHEM. 83 00:04:15,534 --> 00:04:17,965 "TAKING OFFENSIVENESS TO NEW LEVELS, 84 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,965 "DRAWN TOGETHER IS SO BAD, 85 00:04:19,999 --> 00:04:22,265 "IT'S BAD FOR YOU 86 00:04:22,299 --> 00:04:23,965 "AND MORE APPROPRIATELY BELONGS 87 00:04:23,999 --> 00:04:26,399 "IN 'WHAT NOT TO WATCH.' 88 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,232 LETTER GRADE: F"? 89 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:33,666 All: AAH! 90 00:04:35,199 --> 00:04:38,266 OH, TIM, YOU'RE SUCH A STITCH. 91 00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:40,432 YOU'RE SO MUCH MORE FUN THAN CAPTAIN HERO. 92 00:04:40,466 --> 00:04:41,866 "OH, LOOK AT ME. 93 00:04:41,901 --> 00:04:44,766 "I'M A BIG, DUMB SUPERHERO WHO'S BIG AND DUMB. 94 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:48,165 NOW I'M FONDLING A GIRL. OOPSY. SHE'S DEAD." 95 00:04:51,566 --> 00:04:52,999 OHH! 96 00:04:54,266 --> 00:04:56,799 YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT. 97 00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:14,432 IT UNSNAPS IN THE FRONT. 98 00:05:18,733 --> 00:05:20,999 OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN, HALLOWED BE THY NAME... 99 00:05:21,033 --> 00:05:23,799 Spanky: EVERYONE WAS TAKING OUR "F" IN ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY 100 00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:25,199 WAY TOO HARD. 101 00:05:25,233 --> 00:05:27,565 BUT I KNEW JUST HOW TO CHEER 'EM UP. 102 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,766 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK OF THE REVIEW. 103 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,732 PULL MY FINGER. 104 00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,898 [FARTING] 105 00:05:34,932 --> 00:05:36,299 OOH! 106 00:05:36,333 --> 00:05:37,632 [FARTING CONTINUES] 107 00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:40,632 OHH! 108 00:05:40,666 --> 00:05:42,298 GODDAMN IT, SPANKY! 109 00:05:42,333 --> 00:05:46,532 IT'S LOW-BROW FARTS LIKE THAT THAT MAE-W GIVE US A FUCKING F! 110 00:05:46,567 --> 00:05:47,931 [FARTS] OOPSY. 111 00:05:47,966 --> 00:05:50,265 WHAT? THAT WAS A CREASE, 112 00:05:50,299 --> 00:05:52,299 AND I ONLY LAUGHED 'CAUSE IT TICKLED. 113 00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:54,299 TOOT IS RIGHT. SPANKY RUINED EVERYTHING. 114 00:05:54,333 --> 00:05:55,498 SPANKY, YOU SUCK. 115 00:05:55,533 --> 00:05:56,998 GUYS, GUYS, GUYS. 116 00:05:57,032 --> 00:05:59,298 I'M SUE-W MAKES MISTAKES. 117 00:05:59,333 --> 00:06:00,499 LET'S SEE. 118 00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:03,399 THE GROWING PAINS REUNION GOT A C-. 119 00:06:03,433 --> 00:06:07,032 IT WAS SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE. 120 00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:08,399 MY GOD. 121 00:06:08,433 --> 00:06:10,866 ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY IS ALL KNOWING, 122 00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:12,633 LIKE ALLAH HERSELF, 123 00:06:12,667 --> 00:06:15,298 WHICH MEANS MY FARTS AREN'T FUNNY. 124 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,766 NO! 125 00:06:20,801 --> 00:06:22,132 SHH. 126 00:06:22,167 --> 00:06:25,566 CAPTAIN HERO WOULD KILL US IF HE KNEW WE WERE OUT ALL NIGHT. 127 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,499 HE CAN'T KNOW, OK? 128 00:06:27,533 --> 00:06:29,132 HE CAN'T KNOW WHAT? 129 00:06:29,166 --> 00:06:32,732 OH. OK, I GUESS YOU'RE CAPTAIN HERO NOW. 130 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,865 WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN ALL NIGHT 131 00:06:34,899 --> 00:06:37,232 WITH MY MILD-MANNERED FRIEND TIM THOMASEN? 132 00:06:37,267 --> 00:06:40,532 YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE WERE. WE WERE AT THE POND HAVING DRINKS. 133 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:43,165 YOU GAVE TIM ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES? 134 00:06:43,199 --> 00:06:44,499 I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! 135 00:06:44,533 --> 00:06:46,165 IT STARTED TO MAKE SENSE. 136 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,299 CAPTAIN HERO HAD CREATED TIM 137 00:06:48,333 --> 00:06:50,831 AS A WAY TO EXPLORE HIS HOMOSEXUAL SIDE. 138 00:06:50,866 --> 00:06:53,032 IT WAS A LITTLE LIKE WHEN HE CREATED EL CHOCO 139 00:06:53,066 --> 00:06:55,033 TO EXPLORE HIS GANGBANGER SIDE. 140 00:06:55,067 --> 00:06:56,632 WHAT YOU SAYIN' TO ME NOW, HOMES? 141 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,465 DON'T YOU KNOW I'M LOCO? 142 00:06:58,500 --> 00:06:59,533 [GASPS] 143 00:06:59,567 --> 00:07:02,699 IF YOU SO MUCH AS THINK ABOUT TIM AGAIN, 144 00:07:02,734 --> 00:07:04,499 I'LL DO THIS. 145 00:07:04,533 --> 00:07:05,499 OOH! 146 00:07:06,734 --> 00:07:08,732 ONLY I WON'T DO THIS TO ME. 147 00:07:08,766 --> 00:07:10,398 I'LL DO IT TO... 148 00:07:11,734 --> 00:07:14,132 I'LL DO IT TO YOU, BUB. 149 00:07:19,066 --> 00:07:21,533 SPANKY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 150 00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:23,765 I'M HOLDING THE SHOW BACK, KID. 151 00:07:23,799 --> 00:07:25,399 WITHOUT MY LAME POTTY HUMOR, 152 00:07:25,434 --> 00:07:29,766 E-W CAN GIVE YOU GUYS A "C" OR MAYBE EVEN A SOLID "B." 153 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,566 "M." OH! LOOK. I CAN'T STOP. 154 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,232 SEE YOU, WOOLDOOR. 155 00:07:34,534 --> 00:07:36,132 SPANKY WAIT! 156 00:07:36,166 --> 00:07:37,899 WAAH! OHH! 157 00:07:37,934 --> 00:07:39,366 OH! OOH! 158 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,065 OOH! OH! OOH! 159 00:07:42,099 --> 00:07:43,932 OH, YEAH. 160 00:07:43,966 --> 00:07:47,432 OH, YOU LIKE THAT, DON'T YOU, BITCH? OH! 161 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,065 OOH. 162 00:07:52,233 --> 00:07:54,265 OH, TIM, GO AWAY. 163 00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:56,266 I CAN'T. I MISS YOU. 164 00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:57,766 I MISS US. 165 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,865 IF CAPTAIN HERO HAPPENS TO SHOW UP, 166 00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:02,332 HE'S GONNA KILL ME. 167 00:08:02,366 --> 00:08:05,032 OH, COME ON, XANDIR. WE HAVE A REAL CONNECTION. 168 00:08:05,066 --> 00:08:07,032 I KNOW YOU FEEL IT, TOO. 169 00:08:07,066 --> 00:08:08,432 I WISH I COULD QUIT YOU. 170 00:08:08,467 --> 00:08:10,899 DIDN'T WE HAVE A "GRAPE" TIME? 171 00:08:10,934 --> 00:08:14,299 OH! OH! I GUESS WE DID. 172 00:08:14,333 --> 00:08:17,465 BUT I THINK YOU AND HERO NEED TO FIGURE OUT YOUR DIFFERENCES FIRST. 173 00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:19,098 OH, HOW I WISH WE COULD, 174 00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:22,266 BUT CAPTAIN HERO IS NOT READY TO ACCEPT WHO I AM. 175 00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:24,599 NOT YET. IF ANYONE, YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. 176 00:08:24,633 --> 00:08:25,766 CAN'T YOU? 177 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,666 AHH. ALL TOO WELL. 178 00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:30,832 SOMETIMES IT'S JUST EASIER TO STAY IN THE CLOSET. 179 00:08:30,867 --> 00:08:32,998 ISN'T IT, CRAIG? 180 00:08:33,033 --> 00:08:36,265 AHH. OK, BUT WE HAVE TO BE DISCREET. 181 00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:37,433 UNDERSTAND? 182 00:08:37,467 --> 00:08:41,332 OH, I DO. I DO. I SHALL FIND YOU AT DAWN. 183 00:08:41,366 --> 00:08:44,299 GOOD NIGHT, MY SWEET XAN-DIR. 184 00:08:45,966 --> 00:08:48,299 HMM. [GASPS] 185 00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:50,299 Spanky: SO I LEFT TDRAWN TOGETHER HOUSE 186 00:08:50,333 --> 00:08:52,365 AND RETURNED TO MY OLD FART-FREE EXISTENCE 187 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:53,666 WITH THE WIFE AND KID. 188 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,499 OH, HONEY, WELCOME HOME. I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK. 189 00:08:56,533 --> 00:08:59,099 YEAH. GREAT. GOOD TO SEE YOU, TODD. 190 00:08:59,133 --> 00:09:00,532 RANDY. RANDY. 191 00:09:00,567 --> 00:09:02,599 Spanky: I HAD TO PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE, 192 00:09:02,634 --> 00:09:06,899 SO I GOT THE ONLY BORING JOB A HIGH-SCHOOL DROPOUT CAN FIND THESE DAYS. 193 00:09:06,933 --> 00:09:08,898 HOSTAGE NEGOTIATOR. 194 00:09:10,233 --> 00:09:12,599 SEE YOU LATER, SWEETHEART. SEE YOU, RANDY. 195 00:09:12,633 --> 00:09:13,599 IT'S TODD. 196 00:09:13,634 --> 00:09:15,332 TODD. 197 00:09:15,367 --> 00:09:18,965 ♪ MY BABY TAKES THE MORNING TRAIN ♪ 198 00:09:18,999 --> 00:09:21,199 PUT THE GUN DOWN! 199 00:09:21,233 --> 00:09:24,332 HE'S THE ONLY FUCKING DOG WHO'S GOOD ENOUGH TO WEAR FUCKING PANTS? 200 00:09:24,367 --> 00:09:27,799 WELL, I WANNA WEAR THE FUCKING PANTS FOR ONCE. 201 00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:29,032 [GUNSHOT] [GROANS] 202 00:09:29,067 --> 00:09:31,465 ♪ WAITING FOR HIM ♪ 203 00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:35,499 ♪ MY BABY TAKES THE MORNING TRAIN ♪ 204 00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:39,833 ♪ HE WORKS FROM 9 TILL 5 AND THEN ♪ 205 00:09:39,867 --> 00:09:43,633 ♪ HE TAKES ANOTHER HOME AGAIN ♪ 206 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:47,266 Spanky: BILLY, MOMMY SAYS GOD WILL DECIDE 207 00:09:47,300 --> 00:09:49,866 WHO SHOULD PAY FOR THE SINS OF THE WORLD. 208 00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:53,131 MOMMY WILL LIVE INSIDE ME FOREVER. 209 00:09:53,166 --> 00:09:55,132 [GUNSHOT] 210 00:09:55,166 --> 00:09:56,733 ♪ ONLY WHEN HE'S WITH ME ♪ 211 00:09:56,767 --> 00:09:58,399 ♪ I CATCH LIFE ♪ 212 00:09:58,433 --> 00:10:00,732 ♪ ONLY WHEN HE GIVES ME ♪ 213 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:04,365 ♪ MAKES ME FEEL ALL RIGHT ♪ 214 00:10:04,399 --> 00:10:05,432 ♪ OHHHH ♪ 215 00:10:05,467 --> 00:10:08,699 SO TIM AND I CONTINUED OUR FORBIDDEN ROMANCE, 216 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,099 BUT DANGER WAS LURKING AROUND EVERY CORNER. 217 00:10:12,767 --> 00:10:13,865 [GASPS] 218 00:10:13,899 --> 00:10:17,732 XANDIR, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN TIM, HAVE YOU? 219 00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:20,865 UH...UH, NO. NO. OF COURSE NOT. 220 00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:22,566 WHEE! HIGHER! 221 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,099 HIGHER! 222 00:10:24,133 --> 00:10:26,099 THE ONLY THING THAT SCARED ME MORE THAN HERO 223 00:10:26,133 --> 00:10:29,098 WERE THE FEELINGS I WAS HAVING FOR TIM. 224 00:10:29,133 --> 00:10:31,232 OH, AND BEES. I HATE BEES. 225 00:10:31,266 --> 00:10:34,632 MAYBE WE SHOULD GO SOMEWHERE A LITTLE MORE PRIVATE. 226 00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:37,065 PERHAPS A DARK, SECLUDED BEDROOM 227 00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:39,065 WHERE NOTHING CAN FIND US. 228 00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:40,633 NOTHING... 229 00:10:40,667 --> 00:10:42,299 BUT PASSION. 230 00:10:47,199 --> 00:10:50,199 [BOTH GIGGLING] 231 00:10:51,733 --> 00:10:53,599 MMM! MMM! 232 00:10:53,634 --> 00:10:56,632 AHH! 233 00:11:00,133 --> 00:11:02,865 I JUST KNOW XANDIR AND TIM ARE UP TO SOMETHING. 234 00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:06,399 I CAN FEEL IT IN MY GUT. 235 00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,733 [GRUNTING] 236 00:11:14,166 --> 00:11:15,131 AAH! AAH! 237 00:11:15,166 --> 00:11:16,932 [YAWNS] 238 00:11:16,966 --> 00:11:18,265 WHAT DO WE GOT? 239 00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:19,798 YEAH. SOME NUT JOB IN THE ARCADE. 240 00:11:19,833 --> 00:11:21,499 HE'S THREATENING TO WHACK 'EM ALL. 241 00:11:21,533 --> 00:11:22,765 WACK A MOLE? 242 00:11:22,799 --> 00:11:24,000 ISN'T THAT A GAME? 243 00:11:24,034 --> 00:11:26,332 NOT TO US IT'S NOT. WE'RE GONNA TAKE HIM OUT. 244 00:11:26,366 --> 00:11:29,599 I DON'T HAVE A HOSTAGE. I'M JUST PLAYING WACK A MOLE. 245 00:11:29,634 --> 00:11:32,465 JESUS! HE'S GOT A HEAVILY-PADDED NOVELTY MALLET! 246 00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:34,965 DON'T SHOOT! PLEASE! 247 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,632 YOU'RE NOT SAFE HERE, SIR. STANDARD SWAT PROCEDURE REQUIRES US 248 00:11:37,666 --> 00:11:40,799 TO PULL THE NEGOTIATOR OUT OF HARM'S WAY BY HIS FINGER. 249 00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,065 [FARTS] 250 00:11:42,099 --> 00:11:44,733 EXCUSE ME. 251 00:11:44,767 --> 00:11:47,132 THAT'S AWESOME! 252 00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:50,033 HEY, AREN'T YOU SPANKY HAM FROM DRAWN TOGETHER? 253 00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:52,732 I WAS...ONCE. 254 00:11:54,733 --> 00:11:56,298 I LOVED YOU ON THAT SHOW. 255 00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:57,533 YOU WERE THE BEST PART. 256 00:11:57,567 --> 00:12:00,466 YOU FART WHEN THE REST OF US ARE AFRAID TO FART. 257 00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:02,932 REALLY? YOU GUYS LIKE THAT? 258 00:12:02,966 --> 00:12:05,832 WELL, CHECK THIS OUT. HUH! 259 00:12:05,866 --> 00:12:08,565 [FARTING] 260 00:12:08,599 --> 00:12:09,899 HE FARTED! 261 00:12:09,934 --> 00:12:13,900 [FARTING CONTINUES] 262 00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:16,966 AT THAT MOMENT, I REALIZED MY FARTS WEFUNNY. 263 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,098 THEY MADE ALL THESE PEOPLE FEEL JOY IN THEIR HEARTS. 264 00:12:20,133 --> 00:12:22,399 WHOEVER SMELT IT, FELT IT. 265 00:12:22,433 --> 00:12:24,265 THAT'S IT. I QUIT. 266 00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:27,165 I'M GOING BACK TO THE DRAWN TOGETHHOUSE. 267 00:12:27,199 --> 00:12:28,232 YEAH! 268 00:12:28,267 --> 00:12:29,966 OH! FIRE! 269 00:12:31,032 --> 00:12:32,966 AAH! 270 00:12:35,032 --> 00:12:36,632 Captain Hero: SOMETHING WAS AMISS. 271 00:12:36,666 --> 00:12:38,065 XANDIR WAS ACTING STRANGE, 272 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:40,065 TIM THOMASEN WAS AWFULLY QUIET, 273 00:12:40,099 --> 00:12:42,899 AND I NOTICED THAT I WAS GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS MORE THAN USUAL. 274 00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:46,833 SO I DECIDED TO PUT ON A DISGUISE AND GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT. 275 00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:50,766 OH, HELLO, XANDIR. IT IS I, TOM THOMASEN. 276 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:52,866 I AM ENJOYING GLASSES WEARING. 277 00:12:52,901 --> 00:12:54,566 AND YOU ARE? 278 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:57,865 OH, TIM, LAST NIGHT WAS SO SPECIAL. 279 00:12:57,899 --> 00:13:01,199 I MEAN, I'VE HAD A LOT OF GAY SEX IN MY LIFE... 280 00:13:01,233 --> 00:13:03,299 A LOT OF GAY SE-- 281 00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:06,132 I MEAN, A LOT, A LOT, A LOT, A LOT OF GAY SE-- 282 00:13:06,166 --> 00:13:09,266 I HAD A LOT...LOTS OF GAY SEX. 283 00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:12,365 HUGE, HUGE AMOUNTS OF... 284 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,532 LOTS. 285 00:13:14,567 --> 00:13:16,165 RIGHT, CRAIG? 286 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,266 BUT LAST NIGHT WAS THE FIRST TIME 287 00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:20,565 I'VE EVER...MADE LOVE. 288 00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:21,799 YOU WHAT? 289 00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:23,999 WHY, I SHOULD KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND. 290 00:13:24,033 --> 00:13:25,933 OH, GODDAMN IT. 291 00:13:25,966 --> 00:13:26,865 [GROANS] 292 00:13:26,899 --> 00:13:30,599 YOU WILL NEVER SEE TIM AGAIN. 293 00:13:30,633 --> 00:13:31,932 EVER! 294 00:13:31,967 --> 00:13:34,933 UNLESS YOU CATCH HIM IN HIS ROOM PACKING. 295 00:13:34,967 --> 00:13:39,131 EVER SINCE WE GOT THAT F THINGS SEEMED TO FALL APART. 296 00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,899 NOW, SOME WOULD SAY WE'S A BIT OVER SENSITIVE TO 297 00:13:41,934 --> 00:13:44,732 THE HONEST CRITICISM OF A PROFESSIONAL TV REVIEWER. 298 00:13:44,766 --> 00:13:48,765 BUT IN OUR DEFENSE... FUCK YOU E-W! 299 00:13:50,466 --> 00:13:51,666 [HISSING] 300 00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:52,565 SUCKER. 301 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:55,032 GUYS, SPANKY'S BACK, 302 00:13:55,066 --> 00:13:57,166 AND HE BROUGHT A FRIEND. 303 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,699 [FARTS] 304 00:14:00,634 --> 00:14:03,499 YEAH. I WAS ONCE LIKE YOU GUYS. 305 00:14:03,533 --> 00:14:06,699 I, TOO, LOST MY WAY. WE AREN'T FAILURES. 306 00:14:06,733 --> 00:14:08,866 E-W IS THE FAILURE. 307 00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:11,699 ALL OVER THE WORLD PEOPLE LAUGH AT US. 308 00:14:11,734 --> 00:14:13,932 PEOPLE LAUGH AT FARTS. 309 00:14:13,966 --> 00:14:15,998 PEOPLE LAUGH AT VIOLENCE. 310 00:14:16,032 --> 00:14:17,765 PEOPLE LAUGH AT-- 311 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:18,866 FAT JOKES. 312 00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,833 AND STEREOTYPES. 313 00:14:20,867 --> 00:14:22,332 [SPEAKING JAPANESE] 314 00:14:22,367 --> 00:14:24,199 AND STEREOTYPES. 315 00:14:24,233 --> 00:14:26,165 AND STIMULANT TASSELS. 316 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,366 WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING, PEOPLE. 317 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,132 HELL, IF ONE BAD REVIEW CAN DO THIS TO US, 318 00:14:31,166 --> 00:14:34,199 IMAGINE WHAT ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY CAN DO TO OTHER SHOWS. 319 00:14:34,233 --> 00:14:36,999 Man: BUT OTHER SHOWS DON'T SUCK! 320 00:14:37,034 --> 00:14:39,466 YEAH, BUT STILL... 321 00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:41,499 I SAY WE CONFRONT THIS REVIEWER 322 00:14:41,534 --> 00:14:44,599 AND MAKE SURE SHE NEVER GIVES HER INSIGHTFUL, UNBIASED OPINIONS EVER AGAIN. 323 00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:46,165 NOW, WHO'S WITH ME? 324 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:47,299 [CHEERING] 325 00:14:47,333 --> 00:14:50,833 CHARGE! 326 00:15:06,133 --> 00:15:08,098 TIM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 327 00:15:08,133 --> 00:15:11,231 CAPTAIN HERO IS SENDING ME AWAY. 328 00:15:12,634 --> 00:15:14,865 SO THIS IS GOOD-BYE, XANDIR. 329 00:15:14,899 --> 00:15:15,965 FOREVER. 330 00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:17,265 TIM, WAIT. 331 00:15:17,299 --> 00:15:18,598 YOU HAVE TO TELL CAPTAIN HERO 332 00:15:18,633 --> 00:15:20,866 THAT YOU WANT TO EXPLORE THESE FEELINGS. 333 00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:22,932 YES, BUT...BUT I'M SCARED. 334 00:15:22,967 --> 00:15:25,732 IT'S OK TO BE SCARED. 335 00:15:25,766 --> 00:15:29,199 BUT IT'S NOT OK TO DENY WHO YOU REALLY ARE. 336 00:15:29,233 --> 00:15:30,766 YOU GET IT NOW, CRAIG? 337 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:34,198 I'LL DO IT, XANDIR. I'LL DO IT FOR YOU. 338 00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:36,766 I'LL DO IT FOR US. 339 00:15:52,767 --> 00:15:55,599 SENSORS INDICATE THAT THE TV REVIEWER 340 00:15:55,633 --> 00:15:57,931 IS AT THE END OF THE HALL. 341 00:15:57,966 --> 00:16:00,098 OK, GUYS, SHOW NO MERCY. 342 00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:03,833 REMEMBER, THESE PEOPLE WORK IN CUBICLES. 343 00:16:03,867 --> 00:16:05,833 SO THEY'RE ALREADY DEAD INSIDE. 344 00:16:05,867 --> 00:16:06,965 LET'S MOVE. 345 00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:08,565 [ALL SHOUTING] 346 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,399 WHY ARE YOU STABBING YOURSELF? WHY ARE YOU STABBING YOURSELF? 347 00:16:31,934 --> 00:16:35,033 YAY! 348 00:16:35,067 --> 00:16:37,799 WAHHHH! 349 00:16:37,833 --> 00:16:40,632 WE HAVE A 9:15 TO SEE THE TV REVIEWER. 350 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,132 WE'RE A LITTLE EARLY. 351 00:16:42,166 --> 00:16:44,132 OH, YOU'RE TDRAWN TOGETHER GANG. 352 00:16:44,166 --> 00:16:47,298 OF COURSE. SHE'S BEEN EXPECTING YOU. CAN I GET YOU SOME COFFEE? 353 00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:48,299 YEAH. SURE. 354 00:16:50,066 --> 00:16:52,265 OH, MY GOD. THEY'RE DEAD. THEY'RE ALL DEAD. 355 00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:53,932 WHAT SHOULD I DO? 356 00:16:53,966 --> 00:16:55,265 WHEE! 357 00:16:55,299 --> 00:16:56,498 WHEE! 358 00:17:01,034 --> 00:17:03,998 OH, MY GOD. DID YOU TELL HIM? HOW DID IT GO? 359 00:17:04,032 --> 00:17:06,733 YOU TELL ME. 360 00:17:06,767 --> 00:17:08,332 [GASPS] OH, BABY. 361 00:17:08,366 --> 00:17:11,232 WHAT KIND OF A JERK WOULD HIT HIMSELF WEARING GLASSES? 362 00:17:11,266 --> 00:17:13,998 I TRIED TO FIGHT BACK, XAN-DIR. 363 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,199 I THINK I BROKE HIS NOSE. 364 00:17:16,233 --> 00:17:17,499 [SNIFFS] OOH! 365 00:17:17,533 --> 00:17:19,432 DON'T LOOK. I'M HIDEOUS. 366 00:17:19,467 --> 00:17:22,165 OH, GOD. IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO? 367 00:17:22,199 --> 00:17:25,433 ACTUALLY, THERE IS. 368 00:17:25,467 --> 00:17:27,533 [GASPS] 369 00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,599 Xandir: THIS WHOLE THING WAS CRAZY, 370 00:17:32,633 --> 00:17:34,732 BUT IT ALSO KIND OF MADE SENSE. 371 00:17:34,767 --> 00:17:38,065 OBVIOUSLY, A SUPERHERO IS IMPERVIOUS TO BULLETS. 372 00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:40,265 BUT TIM NEEDED ME TO SHOOT CAPTAIN HERO 373 00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:43,499 AND SYMBOLICALLY KILL THE HOMOPHOBIC SIDE OF HIMSELF. 374 00:17:45,933 --> 00:17:47,265 CAPTAIN HERO? 375 00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:49,265 I'M DOING THIS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. 376 00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:52,732 WHAT ARE YOU-- [GRUNTING] 377 00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:54,332 AAH! [GRUNTS] 378 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,732 TIM. 379 00:18:01,767 --> 00:18:03,832 I THOUGHT YOU WERE CAPTAIN HERO. 380 00:18:03,867 --> 00:18:06,566 YEAH. I GET THAT A LOT. 381 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:10,066 BUT DON'T FEEL BAD, DEAR XAN-DIR. 382 00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:12,498 I'VE BEEN LIVING FOR 30-SOMETHING YEARS. 383 00:18:12,533 --> 00:18:16,465 BUT ONLY SINCE I MET YOU HAVE I TRULY FELT... 384 00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,265 ALIVE. 385 00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:20,098 [COUGHING] 386 00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:22,599 TIM, BEFORE YOU GO, 387 00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:24,999 I JUST NEED TO KNOW ONE THING. 388 00:18:25,033 --> 00:18:28,399 YES, SWEET XAN-DIR? 389 00:18:28,433 --> 00:18:29,799 ARE WE DONE? 390 00:18:29,833 --> 00:18:32,032 LIKE, ARE YOU GONNA CUT THE SHIT NOW? 391 00:18:32,066 --> 00:18:33,699 YEAH, I GUESS SO. 392 00:18:33,733 --> 00:18:36,033 GOOD. NOW, LEAVE ME ALONE. 393 00:18:36,067 --> 00:18:38,032 XANDIR, I JUST WANTED TO SEE IF I WAS. 394 00:18:38,066 --> 00:18:40,031 AND, YOU KNOW, IT TURNS OUT I WASN'T. 395 00:18:40,066 --> 00:18:42,365 IT'S CAPTAIN HERO, NOT CAPTAIN HOMO. 396 00:18:42,399 --> 00:18:43,399 WHATEVER. 397 00:18:43,434 --> 00:18:45,699 AND PROMISE TO KEEP THIS BETWEEN US, BUDDY. 398 00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:49,166 I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO THINK I'M CUCKOO, CUCKOO. 399 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:53,231 WELL, GUYS, IF ANY OF YOU ARE GONNA CHICKEN OUT, 400 00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:54,732 NOW'S THE TIME. 401 00:18:57,333 --> 00:18:59,632 All: AAH! 402 00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:02,198 AAH! 403 00:19:02,233 --> 00:19:04,532 ALL RIGHT. 404 00:19:04,566 --> 00:19:07,831 ALL RIGHT, TV REVIEWER, YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR. 405 00:19:07,866 --> 00:19:10,165 AND WHO ARE YOU TO TELL US--WHAT THE HELL! 406 00:19:11,833 --> 00:19:13,699 NO WONDER YOU HATE THE SHOW. 407 00:19:13,733 --> 00:19:15,766 YOU'RE EVERYTHING WE MAKE FUN OF. 408 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,599 YOU'RE JEWISH, CONSERVATIVE, PRO-LIFE, BORN-AGAIN, 409 00:19:18,633 --> 00:19:22,965 OVERWEIGHT, ASIAN, HOMOPHOBIC LESBIAN BROAD WHO CUTS HERSELF. 410 00:19:24,333 --> 00:19:25,599 SO? 411 00:19:25,634 --> 00:19:29,165 SO MAYBE SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T HAPPEN TO BE 412 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,632 A JEWISH, CONSERVATIVE, PRO-LIFE, BORN-AGAIN, 413 00:19:31,666 --> 00:19:35,866 OVERWEIGHT, INDIAN HOMOPHOBIC LESBIAN BROAD WHO CUTS HERSELF 414 00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:38,165 MIGHT NOT BE OFFENDED BY THE SHOW. 415 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,632 I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT I THINK OF YOUR SHOW. 416 00:19:41,667 --> 00:19:43,699 YES! BUT PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW 417 00:19:43,733 --> 00:19:45,999 YOU'RE NOT OUR AUDIENCE, ASSHOLE! 418 00:19:48,766 --> 00:19:50,632 LISTEN, MR. HAM. 419 00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:53,132 THE FACT IS, WE'RE BOTH RIGHT. 420 00:19:53,166 --> 00:19:56,165 I'M NOT EXACTLY YOUR TARGET AUDIENCE. 421 00:19:56,199 --> 00:19:59,266 AND YOUR SHOW IS A STEAMY PILE OF SHIT. 422 00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:02,399 WELL, THAT'S FAIR. 423 00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:06,132 NOW, IF YOU DO WANT SOME CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, 424 00:20:06,166 --> 00:20:08,132 THE BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH YOUR SHOW 425 00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,599 IS YOU NEVER KNOW HOW TO END IT. 426 00:20:10,633 --> 00:20:13,365 THAT IS SO NOT TRUE. 427 00:20:15,567 --> 00:20:17,199 WHERE TO, MR. HAM? 428 00:20:17,233 --> 00:20:19,599 TO THE RODEO, BUMPERS. 429 00:20:19,634 --> 00:20:21,499 THE RODEO. 430 00:20:21,534 --> 00:20:23,932 OF COURSE, SIR. CHEERIO. 431 00:20:23,967 --> 00:20:26,199 Announcer: HEY, JOIN US NEXT WEEK, KIDS, 432 00:20:26,233 --> 00:20:28,198 FOR A WHOLE NOTHER ADVENTURE. 433 00:20:28,233 --> 00:20:29,832 BYE-BYE. HUH-HUH-HUH. 434 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:34,299 GODDAMN IT, THAT WAS REAL TERRIBLE. 435 00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:37,165 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT OF THAT SHOW? 436 00:20:37,199 --> 00:20:39,299 [FARTING] 437 00:20:39,333 --> 00:20:40,632 OOH! 438 00:20:40,666 --> 00:20:43,998 [FARTING CONTINUES] 439 00:20:46,133 --> 00:20:48,998 [FARTING CONTINUES] 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 30156

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