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1
00:00:06,166 --> 00:00:07,832
AHH!
DOH!
2
00:00:07,866 --> 00:00:09,232
WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
3
00:00:09,266 --> 00:00:11,565
TO HELP ME
REMEMBER SOMETHING.
4
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,232
OH, YES. I NEED
TO ASK YOU A FAVOR.
5
00:00:13,266 --> 00:00:16,565
MY FRIEND, TIM THOMASEN,
IS MAKING HIS FIRST TRIP
TO THE BIG CITY,
6
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:19,933
AND I WAS HOPING YOU
COULD HANG OUT WITH HIM.
7
00:00:19,966 --> 00:00:22,265
EVERY TIME CAPTAIN HERO
ASKS ME TO DO HIM A FAVOR,
8
00:00:22,299 --> 00:00:24,765
IT TURNS INTO SOMETHING
LIKE TOTALLY INSANE,
9
00:00:24,799 --> 00:00:26,265
AND I USUALLY GET HURT.
10
00:00:26,299 --> 00:00:29,066
LIKE WHEN HE ASKED ME
TO HELP HIM TRAIN
FOR THE OLYMPICS.
11
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:29,732
PULL!
12
00:00:29,766 --> 00:00:30,932
WAAH!
13
00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:36,065
THERE IS NO WAY I'M DOING
ANOTHER FAVOR FOR YOU.
14
00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:39,332
OOH. THE CAPTAIN HERO
SIGNAL. I MUST AWAY.
15
00:00:39,366 --> 00:00:40,831
[DOORBELL RINGS]
16
00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:43,899
DID YOU COME BACK
TO HIT ME AGAIN, HERO?
17
00:00:43,933 --> 00:00:46,465
WHAT? I'M NOT
CAPTAIN HERO.
18
00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:47,732
I'M HIS FRIEND,
19
00:00:47,766 --> 00:00:50,365
THE MILD-MANNERED
SMALL-TOWN REPORTER,
TIM THOMASEN.
20
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,365
HOW FUNNY THAT YOU
THINK I'M HERO,
21
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,532
SINCE I HAVE DARK SKIN
AND BLOND HAIR
22
00:00:54,567 --> 00:00:56,766
THAT FLOWS LIKE
A RIVER OF SEXY WHEAT.
23
00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:00,466
I AM SUPPOSED
TO MEET A PERSON
BY THE NAME OF "XAN-DIR."
24
00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:02,665
TELL ME.
DO YOU KNOW HIM, MA'AM?
25
00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:04,632
OH, FUCK ME.
26
00:01:20,133 --> 00:01:22,633
Announcer: HEY,
JOIN US NEXT WEEK, KIDS,
27
00:01:22,667 --> 00:01:25,098
FOR A WHOLE NOTHER
ADVENTURE. BYE-BYE.
28
00:01:26,366 --> 00:01:29,065
GODDAMN IT,
THAT WAS REAL TERRIBLE.
29
00:01:29,099 --> 00:01:31,666
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT
I THOUGHT OF THAT SHOW?
30
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,999
[FARTING]
31
00:01:34,033 --> 00:01:35,065
OOH!
32
00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:39,099
[FARTING CONTINUES]
33
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,999
[FARTING CONTINUES]
34
00:01:49,633 --> 00:01:50,699
OOH!
35
00:01:50,733 --> 00:01:55,032
[FARTING CONTINUES]
36
00:01:58,866 --> 00:02:01,166
OHH! AHH!
37
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:04,965
[FARTING CONTINUES]
38
00:02:06,733 --> 00:02:08,833
YEAH.
39
00:02:08,866 --> 00:02:12,665
[FARTING]
40
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:34,699
NOW, WHERE WAS I?
41
00:02:34,734 --> 00:02:37,599
OH, YEAH. YOU KNOW
WHAT I THOUGHT
OF THAT SHOW?
42
00:02:37,633 --> 00:02:39,031
DIDN'T CARE FOR IT.
43
00:02:39,066 --> 00:02:40,565
ME NEITHER.
44
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:43,165
THERE MUST BE SOME WAY
TO KNOW AHEAD OF TIME
WHICH SHOWS WE SHOULD WATCH.
45
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,332
HUH?
46
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,999
ENTERTAINMENTWEEKLY!
47
00:02:50,033 --> 00:02:54,632
"LIKE A HOMOSEXUAL WITH AMNESIA,
WE COME OUT EVERY WEEK."
48
00:02:54,667 --> 00:02:57,365
OH, MY GOD. OUR PRAYERS
HAVE BEEN ANSWERED.
49
00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:58,432
♪ HALLELUJAH ♪
50
00:02:58,467 --> 00:03:01,466
WOW. LOOK AT THIS. COOL.
51
00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:03,132
WHOSE ROOM IS THIS?
52
00:03:03,166 --> 00:03:04,799
THAT'S THE BATHROOM.
53
00:03:04,833 --> 00:03:07,132
YOU'D KNOW THAT EVEN
IF YOU WEREN'T CAPTAIN--
54
00:03:07,166 --> 00:03:08,365
OH, NEVER MIND.
55
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,132
OH, YOU CRAZY BIG-CITY FOLK.
56
00:03:11,166 --> 00:03:14,332
OH, AND I BET THIS IS
CAPTAIN HERO'S ROOM.
57
00:03:14,367 --> 00:03:17,031
YOU CAN TELL 'CAUSE
IT SMELLS LIKE DIRTY SOCKS
58
00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:19,099
AND SMALL-MINDED HATRED.
59
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:20,232
[CHUCKLING]
60
00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:21,832
AND SUPER SPUNK.
61
00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:26,000
[THINKING] I HAD NO IDEA
WHAT THAT LUNATIC WAS UP TO,
62
00:03:26,034 --> 00:03:28,666
BUT WHEN HERO WEARS THOSE
GLASSES AND CALLS HIMSELF TIM,
63
00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:31,065
HE ISN'T NEARLY
THE ASSHOLE HE USUALLY IS.
64
00:03:31,099 --> 00:03:33,499
XANDIR, YOU KNOW
WHAT'S FUN?
65
00:03:33,534 --> 00:03:35,699
GRAPES. GRAPES ARE FUN.
66
00:03:35,733 --> 00:03:38,199
REALLY? I THINK
GRAPES ARE FUN.
67
00:03:38,233 --> 00:03:40,232
GRAPES ARE FUN.
68
00:03:40,266 --> 00:03:43,065
OH, HEY, WE SHOULD HIT
THE FARMERS MARKET.
69
00:03:43,099 --> 00:03:46,032
ISN'T THAT A "VINE" IDEA?
70
00:03:46,066 --> 00:03:48,599
WE ARE SO THERE.
71
00:03:48,633 --> 00:03:51,633
All: OOH!
72
00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:53,666
OOH!
73
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,799
ENTERTAINMENTWEEKLY.
74
00:03:55,834 --> 00:03:58,132
IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
75
00:03:58,166 --> 00:04:01,166
AND LOOK. IT TELLS US
WHAT MUSIC TO LISTEN TO.
76
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,432
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
77
00:04:03,466 --> 00:04:04,899
AND WHICH BOOKS TO BURN.
78
00:04:04,933 --> 00:04:07,432
AND THESE COOL
LITTLE NUMBERS TELL YOU
WHAT PAGE YOU'RE ON.
79
00:04:07,466 --> 00:04:10,699
OH, MY GOD.
THERE'S A REVIEW
OF DRAWN TOGETHER.
80
00:04:10,733 --> 00:04:12,066
THAT'S US.
THAT'S OUR SHOW.
81
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:13,865
READ IT OUT LOUD.
82
00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:15,499
AHEM.
83
00:04:15,534 --> 00:04:17,965
"TAKING OFFENSIVENESS
TO NEW LEVELS,
84
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,965
"DRAWN TOGETHERIS SO BAD,
85
00:04:19,999 --> 00:04:22,265
"IT'S BAD FOR YOU
86
00:04:22,299 --> 00:04:23,965
"AND MORE
APPROPRIATELY BELONGS
87
00:04:23,999 --> 00:04:26,399
"IN 'WHAT NOT TO WATCH.'
88
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,232
LETTER GRADE: F"?
89
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:33,666
All: AAH!
90
00:04:35,199 --> 00:04:38,266
OH, TIM,
YOU'RE SUCH A STITCH.
91
00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:40,432
YOU'RE SO MUCH MORE FUN
THAN CAPTAIN HERO.
92
00:04:40,466 --> 00:04:41,866
"OH, LOOK AT ME.
93
00:04:41,901 --> 00:04:44,766
"I'M A BIG, DUMB SUPERHERO
WHO'S BIG AND DUMB.
94
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:48,165
NOW I'M FONDLING A GIRL.
OOPSY. SHE'S DEAD."
95
00:04:51,566 --> 00:04:52,999
OHH!
96
00:04:54,266 --> 00:04:56,799
YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT.
97
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:14,432
IT UNSNAPS IN THE FRONT.
98
00:05:18,733 --> 00:05:20,999
OUR FATHER
WHO ART IN HEAVEN,
HALLOWED BE THY NAME...
99
00:05:21,033 --> 00:05:23,799
Spanky: EVERYONE
WAS TAKING OUR "F"
IN ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY
100
00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:25,199
WAY TOO HARD.
101
00:05:25,233 --> 00:05:27,565
BUT I KNEW JUST
HOW TO CHEER 'EM UP.
102
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,766
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT
I THINK OF THE REVIEW.
103
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,732
PULL MY FINGER.
104
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,898
[FARTING]
105
00:05:34,932 --> 00:05:36,299
OOH!
106
00:05:36,333 --> 00:05:37,632
[FARTING CONTINUES]
107
00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:40,632
OHH!
108
00:05:40,666 --> 00:05:42,298
GODDAMN IT, SPANKY!
109
00:05:42,333 --> 00:05:46,532
IT'S LOW-BROW FARTS LIKE THAT
THAT MAE-W GIVE US
A FUCKING F!
110
00:05:46,567 --> 00:05:47,931
[FARTS]
OOPSY.
111
00:05:47,966 --> 00:05:50,265
WHAT? THAT WAS A CREASE,
112
00:05:50,299 --> 00:05:52,299
AND I ONLY LAUGHED
'CAUSE IT TICKLED.
113
00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:54,299
TOOT IS RIGHT.
SPANKY RUINED EVERYTHING.
114
00:05:54,333 --> 00:05:55,498
SPANKY, YOU SUCK.
115
00:05:55,533 --> 00:05:56,998
GUYS, GUYS, GUYS.
116
00:05:57,032 --> 00:05:59,298
I'M SUE-WMAKES MISTAKES.
117
00:05:59,333 --> 00:06:00,499
LET'S SEE.
118
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:03,399
THE GROWING PAINSREUNION GOT A C-.
119
00:06:03,433 --> 00:06:07,032
IT WAS SLIGHTLY
BELOW AVERAGE.
120
00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:08,399
MY GOD.
121
00:06:08,433 --> 00:06:10,866
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLYIS ALL KNOWING,
122
00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:12,633
LIKE ALLAH HERSELF,
123
00:06:12,667 --> 00:06:15,298
WHICH MEANS MY FARTS
AREN'T FUNNY.
124
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,766
NO!
125
00:06:20,801 --> 00:06:22,132
SHH.
126
00:06:22,167 --> 00:06:25,566
CAPTAIN HERO WOULD KILL US IF
HE KNEW WE WERE OUT ALL NIGHT.
127
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,499
HE CAN'T KNOW, OK?
128
00:06:27,533 --> 00:06:29,132
HE CAN'T KNOW WHAT?
129
00:06:29,166 --> 00:06:32,732
OH. OK, I GUESS
YOU'RE CAPTAIN HERO NOW.
130
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,865
WHERE THE HELL
HAVE YOU BEEN ALL NIGHT
131
00:06:34,899 --> 00:06:37,232
WITH MY MILD-MANNERED
FRIEND TIM THOMASEN?
132
00:06:37,267 --> 00:06:40,532
YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE WERE.
WE WERE AT THE POND
HAVING DRINKS.
133
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:43,165
YOU GAVE TIM
ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES?
134
00:06:43,199 --> 00:06:44,499
I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!
135
00:06:44,533 --> 00:06:46,165
IT STARTED TO MAKE SENSE.
136
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,299
CAPTAIN HERO
HAD CREATED TIM
137
00:06:48,333 --> 00:06:50,831
AS A WAY TO EXPLORE
HIS HOMOSEXUAL SIDE.
138
00:06:50,866 --> 00:06:53,032
IT WAS A LITTLE LIKE
WHEN HE CREATED EL CHOCO
139
00:06:53,066 --> 00:06:55,033
TO EXPLORE
HIS GANGBANGER SIDE.
140
00:06:55,067 --> 00:06:56,632
WHAT YOU SAYIN'
TO ME NOW, HOMES?
141
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,465
DON'T YOU KNOW I'M LOCO?
142
00:06:58,500 --> 00:06:59,533
[GASPS]
143
00:06:59,567 --> 00:07:02,699
IF YOU SO MUCH
AS THINK ABOUT TIM AGAIN,
144
00:07:02,734 --> 00:07:04,499
I'LL DO THIS.
145
00:07:04,533 --> 00:07:05,499
OOH!
146
00:07:06,734 --> 00:07:08,732
ONLY I WON'T
DO THIS TO ME.
147
00:07:08,766 --> 00:07:10,398
I'LL DO IT TO...
148
00:07:11,734 --> 00:07:14,132
I'LL DO IT TO YOU, BUB.
149
00:07:19,066 --> 00:07:21,533
SPANKY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
150
00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:23,765
I'M HOLDING
THE SHOW BACK, KID.
151
00:07:23,799 --> 00:07:25,399
WITHOUT MY LAME POTTY HUMOR,
152
00:07:25,434 --> 00:07:29,766
E-W CAN GIVE YOU GUYS A "C"
OR MAYBE EVEN A SOLID "B."
153
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,566
"M." OH! LOOK. I CAN'T STOP.
154
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,232
SEE YOU, WOOLDOOR.
155
00:07:34,534 --> 00:07:36,132
SPANKY WAIT!
156
00:07:36,166 --> 00:07:37,899
WAAH! OHH!
157
00:07:37,934 --> 00:07:39,366
OH! OOH!
158
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,065
OOH! OH! OOH!
159
00:07:42,099 --> 00:07:43,932
OH, YEAH.
160
00:07:43,966 --> 00:07:47,432
OH, YOU LIKE THAT,
DON'T YOU, BITCH? OH!
161
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,065
OOH.
162
00:07:52,233 --> 00:07:54,265
OH, TIM, GO AWAY.
163
00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:56,266
I CAN'T. I MISS YOU.
164
00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:57,766
I MISS US.
165
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,865
IF CAPTAIN HERO
HAPPENS TO SHOW UP,
166
00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:02,332
HE'S GONNA KILL ME.
167
00:08:02,366 --> 00:08:05,032
OH, COME ON, XANDIR.
WE HAVE A REAL CONNECTION.
168
00:08:05,066 --> 00:08:07,032
I KNOW YOU FEEL IT, TOO.
169
00:08:07,066 --> 00:08:08,432
I WISH I COULD QUIT YOU.
170
00:08:08,467 --> 00:08:10,899
DIDN'T WE HAVE
A "GRAPE" TIME?
171
00:08:10,934 --> 00:08:14,299
OH! OH! I GUESS WE DID.
172
00:08:14,333 --> 00:08:17,465
BUT I THINK YOU AND HERO
NEED TO FIGURE OUT
YOUR DIFFERENCES FIRST.
173
00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:19,098
OH, HOW I WISH WE COULD,
174
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:22,266
BUT CAPTAIN HERO
IS NOT READY
TO ACCEPT WHO I AM.
175
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:24,599
NOT YET. IF ANYONE,
YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.
176
00:08:24,633 --> 00:08:25,766
CAN'T YOU?
177
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,666
AHH. ALL TOO WELL.
178
00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:30,832
SOMETIMES IT'S JUST EASIER
TO STAY IN THE CLOSET.
179
00:08:30,867 --> 00:08:32,998
ISN'T IT, CRAIG?
180
00:08:33,033 --> 00:08:36,265
AHH. OK, BUT WE HAVE
TO BE DISCREET.
181
00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:37,433
UNDERSTAND?
182
00:08:37,467 --> 00:08:41,332
OH, I DO. I DO.
I SHALL FIND YOU AT DAWN.
183
00:08:41,366 --> 00:08:44,299
GOOD NIGHT,
MY SWEET XAN-DIR.
184
00:08:45,966 --> 00:08:48,299
HMM. [GASPS]
185
00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:50,299
Spanky: SO I LEFT
TDRAWN TOGETHER HOUSE
186
00:08:50,333 --> 00:08:52,365
AND RETURNED TO MY OLD
FART-FREE EXISTENCE
187
00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:53,666
WITH THE WIFE AND KID.
188
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,499
OH, HONEY, WELCOME HOME.
I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK.
189
00:08:56,533 --> 00:08:59,099
YEAH. GREAT.
GOOD TO SEE YOU, TODD.
190
00:08:59,133 --> 00:09:00,532
RANDY.
RANDY.
191
00:09:00,567 --> 00:09:02,599
Spanky: I HAD
TO PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE,
192
00:09:02,634 --> 00:09:06,899
SO I GOT THE ONLY BORING JOB
A HIGH-SCHOOL DROPOUT
CAN FIND THESE DAYS.
193
00:09:06,933 --> 00:09:08,898
HOSTAGE NEGOTIATOR.
194
00:09:10,233 --> 00:09:12,599
SEE YOU LATER,
SWEETHEART.
SEE YOU, RANDY.
195
00:09:12,633 --> 00:09:13,599
IT'S TODD.
196
00:09:13,634 --> 00:09:15,332
TODD.
197
00:09:15,367 --> 00:09:18,965
♪ MY BABY TAKES
THE MORNING TRAIN ♪
198
00:09:18,999 --> 00:09:21,199
PUT THE GUN DOWN!
199
00:09:21,233 --> 00:09:24,332
HE'S THE ONLY FUCKING DOG
WHO'S GOOD ENOUGH TO WEAR
FUCKING PANTS?
200
00:09:24,367 --> 00:09:27,799
WELL, I WANNA WEAR
THE FUCKING PANTS FOR ONCE.
201
00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:29,032
[GUNSHOT]
[GROANS]
202
00:09:29,067 --> 00:09:31,465
♪ WAITING FOR HIM ♪
203
00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:35,499
♪ MY BABY TAKES
THE MORNING TRAIN ♪
204
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:39,833
♪ HE WORKS FROM
9 TILL 5 AND THEN ♪
205
00:09:39,867 --> 00:09:43,633
♪ HE TAKES ANOTHER
HOME AGAIN ♪
206
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:47,266
Spanky: BILLY, MOMMY
SAYS GOD WILL DECIDE
207
00:09:47,300 --> 00:09:49,866
WHO SHOULD PAY
FOR THE SINS OF THE WORLD.
208
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:53,131
MOMMY WILL LIVE
INSIDE ME FOREVER.
209
00:09:53,166 --> 00:09:55,132
[GUNSHOT]
210
00:09:55,166 --> 00:09:56,733
♪ ONLY WHEN
HE'S WITH ME ♪
211
00:09:56,767 --> 00:09:58,399
♪ I CATCH LIFE ♪
212
00:09:58,433 --> 00:10:00,732
♪ ONLY WHEN HE GIVES ME ♪
213
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:04,365
♪ MAKES ME FEEL
ALL RIGHT ♪
214
00:10:04,399 --> 00:10:05,432
♪ OHHHH ♪
215
00:10:05,467 --> 00:10:08,699
SO TIM AND I CONTINUED
OUR FORBIDDEN ROMANCE,
216
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,099
BUT DANGER WAS LURKING
AROUND EVERY CORNER.
217
00:10:12,767 --> 00:10:13,865
[GASPS]
218
00:10:13,899 --> 00:10:17,732
XANDIR, YOU HAVEN'T
SEEN TIM, HAVE YOU?
219
00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:20,865
UH...UH, NO.
NO. OF COURSE NOT.
220
00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:22,566
WHEE! HIGHER!
221
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,099
HIGHER!
222
00:10:24,133 --> 00:10:26,099
THE ONLY THING THAT
SCARED ME MORE THAN HERO
223
00:10:26,133 --> 00:10:29,098
WERE THE FEELINGS
I WAS HAVING FOR TIM.
224
00:10:29,133 --> 00:10:31,232
OH, AND BEES.
I HATE BEES.
225
00:10:31,266 --> 00:10:34,632
MAYBE WE
SHOULD GO SOMEWHERE
A LITTLE MORE PRIVATE.
226
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:37,065
PERHAPS A DARK,
SECLUDED BEDROOM
227
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:39,065
WHERE NOTHING CAN FIND US.
228
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:40,633
NOTHING...
229
00:10:40,667 --> 00:10:42,299
BUT PASSION.
230
00:10:47,199 --> 00:10:50,199
[BOTH GIGGLING]
231
00:10:51,733 --> 00:10:53,599
MMM! MMM!
232
00:10:53,634 --> 00:10:56,632
AHH!
233
00:11:00,133 --> 00:11:02,865
I JUST KNOW XANDIR AND TIM
ARE UP TO SOMETHING.
234
00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:06,399
I CAN FEEL IT IN MY GUT.
235
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,733
[GRUNTING]
236
00:11:14,166 --> 00:11:15,131
AAH!
AAH!
237
00:11:15,166 --> 00:11:16,932
[YAWNS]
238
00:11:16,966 --> 00:11:18,265
WHAT DO WE GOT?
239
00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:19,798
YEAH. SOME NUT JOB
IN THE ARCADE.
240
00:11:19,833 --> 00:11:21,499
HE'S THREATENING
TO WHACK 'EM ALL.
241
00:11:21,533 --> 00:11:22,765
WACK A MOLE?
242
00:11:22,799 --> 00:11:24,000
ISN'T THAT A GAME?
243
00:11:24,034 --> 00:11:26,332
NOT TO US IT'S NOT.
WE'RE GONNA TAKE HIM OUT.
244
00:11:26,366 --> 00:11:29,599
I DON'T HAVE A HOSTAGE.
I'M JUST PLAYING WACK A MOLE.
245
00:11:29,634 --> 00:11:32,465
JESUS! HE'S GOT
A HEAVILY-PADDED
NOVELTY MALLET!
246
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:34,965
DON'T SHOOT! PLEASE!
247
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,632
YOU'RE NOT SAFE HERE, SIR.
STANDARD SWAT PROCEDURE
REQUIRES US
248
00:11:37,666 --> 00:11:40,799
TO PULL THE NEGOTIATOR
OUT OF HARM'S WAY
BY HIS FINGER.
249
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,065
[FARTS]
250
00:11:42,099 --> 00:11:44,733
EXCUSE ME.
251
00:11:44,767 --> 00:11:47,132
THAT'S AWESOME!
252
00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:50,033
HEY, AREN'T YOU SPANKY HAM
FROM DRAWN TOGETHER?
253
00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:52,732
I WAS...ONCE.
254
00:11:54,733 --> 00:11:56,298
I LOVED YOU ON THAT SHOW.
255
00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:57,533
YOU WERE THE BEST PART.
256
00:11:57,567 --> 00:12:00,466
YOU FART
WHEN THE REST OF US
ARE AFRAID TO FART.
257
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:02,932
REALLY? YOU GUYS LIKE THAT?
258
00:12:02,966 --> 00:12:05,832
WELL, CHECK THIS OUT. HUH!
259
00:12:05,866 --> 00:12:08,565
[FARTING]
260
00:12:08,599 --> 00:12:09,899
HE FARTED!
261
00:12:09,934 --> 00:12:13,900
[FARTING CONTINUES]
262
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:16,966
AT THAT MOMENT, I REALIZED
MY FARTS WEFUNNY.
263
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,098
THEY MADE ALL THESE PEOPLE
FEEL JOY IN THEIR HEARTS.
264
00:12:20,133 --> 00:12:22,399
WHOEVER SMELT IT, FELT IT.
265
00:12:22,433 --> 00:12:24,265
THAT'S IT. I QUIT.
266
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:27,165
I'M GOING BACK
TO THE DRAWN TOGETHHOUSE.
267
00:12:27,199 --> 00:12:28,232
YEAH!
268
00:12:28,267 --> 00:12:29,966
OH! FIRE!
269
00:12:31,032 --> 00:12:32,966
AAH!
270
00:12:35,032 --> 00:12:36,632
Captain Hero:
SOMETHING WAS AMISS.
271
00:12:36,666 --> 00:12:38,065
XANDIR WAS ACTING STRANGE,
272
00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:40,065
TIM THOMASEN
WAS AWFULLY QUIET,
273
00:12:40,099 --> 00:12:42,899
AND I NOTICED THAT I WAS
GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS
MORE THAN USUAL.
274
00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:46,833
SO I DECIDED
TO PUT ON A DISGUISE
AND GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT.
275
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:50,766
OH, HELLO, XANDIR.
IT IS I, TOM THOMASEN.
276
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:52,866
I AM ENJOYING
GLASSES WEARING.
277
00:12:52,901 --> 00:12:54,566
AND YOU ARE?
278
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:57,865
OH, TIM,
LAST NIGHT WAS SO SPECIAL.
279
00:12:57,899 --> 00:13:01,199
I MEAN, I'VE HAD
A LOT OF GAY SEX IN MY LIFE...
280
00:13:01,233 --> 00:13:03,299
A LOT OF GAY SE--
281
00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:06,132
I MEAN, A LOT, A LOT,
A LOT, A LOT OF GAY SE--
282
00:13:06,166 --> 00:13:09,266
I HAD A LOT...LOTS OF GAY SEX.
283
00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:12,365
HUGE, HUGE AMOUNTS OF...
284
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,532
LOTS.
285
00:13:14,567 --> 00:13:16,165
RIGHT, CRAIG?
286
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,266
BUT LAST NIGHT
WAS THE FIRST TIME
287
00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:20,565
I'VE EVER...MADE LOVE.
288
00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:21,799
YOU WHAT?
289
00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:23,999
WHY, I SHOULD KILL YOU
WHERE YOU STAND.
290
00:13:24,033 --> 00:13:25,933
OH, GODDAMN IT.
291
00:13:25,966 --> 00:13:26,865
[GROANS]
292
00:13:26,899 --> 00:13:30,599
YOU WILL NEVER SEE TIM AGAIN.
293
00:13:30,633 --> 00:13:31,932
EVER!
294
00:13:31,967 --> 00:13:34,933
UNLESS YOU CATCH HIM
IN HIS ROOM PACKING.
295
00:13:34,967 --> 00:13:39,131
EVER SINCE WE GOT THAT F
THINGS SEEMED TO FALL APART.
296
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,899
NOW, SOME WOULD SAY WE'S A
BIT OVER SENSITIVE TO
297
00:13:41,934 --> 00:13:44,732
THE HONEST CRITICISM OF A
PROFESSIONAL TV REVIEWER.
298
00:13:44,766 --> 00:13:48,765
BUT IN OUR DEFENSE...
FUCK YOU E-W!
299
00:13:50,466 --> 00:13:51,666
[HISSING]
300
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:52,565
SUCKER.
301
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:55,032
GUYS, SPANKY'S BACK,
302
00:13:55,066 --> 00:13:57,166
AND HE BROUGHT A FRIEND.
303
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,699
[FARTS]
304
00:14:00,634 --> 00:14:03,499
YEAH. I WAS ONCE
LIKE YOU GUYS.
305
00:14:03,533 --> 00:14:06,699
I, TOO, LOST MY WAY.
WE AREN'T FAILURES.
306
00:14:06,733 --> 00:14:08,866
E-W IS THE FAILURE.
307
00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:11,699
ALL OVER THE WORLD
PEOPLE LAUGH AT US.
308
00:14:11,734 --> 00:14:13,932
PEOPLE LAUGH AT FARTS.
309
00:14:13,966 --> 00:14:15,998
PEOPLE LAUGH AT VIOLENCE.
310
00:14:16,032 --> 00:14:17,765
PEOPLE LAUGH AT--
311
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:18,866
FAT JOKES.
312
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,833
AND STEREOTYPES.
313
00:14:20,867 --> 00:14:22,332
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
314
00:14:22,367 --> 00:14:24,199
AND STEREOTYPES.
315
00:14:24,233 --> 00:14:26,165
AND STIMULANT TASSELS.
316
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,366
WE'VE GOT TO DO
SOMETHING, PEOPLE.
317
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,132
HELL, IF ONE BAD REVIEW
CAN DO THIS TO US,
318
00:14:31,166 --> 00:14:34,199
IMAGINE WHAT
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLYCAN DO TO OTHER SHOWS.
319
00:14:34,233 --> 00:14:36,999
Man: BUT OTHER SHOWS
DON'T SUCK!
320
00:14:37,034 --> 00:14:39,466
YEAH, BUT STILL...
321
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:41,499
I SAY WE CONFRONT
THIS REVIEWER
322
00:14:41,534 --> 00:14:44,599
AND MAKE SURE SHE
NEVER GIVES HER INSIGHTFUL,
UNBIASED OPINIONS EVER AGAIN.
323
00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:46,165
NOW, WHO'S WITH ME?
324
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:47,299
[CHEERING]
325
00:14:47,333 --> 00:14:50,833
CHARGE!
326
00:15:06,133 --> 00:15:08,098
TIM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
327
00:15:08,133 --> 00:15:11,231
CAPTAIN HERO
IS SENDING ME AWAY.
328
00:15:12,634 --> 00:15:14,865
SO THIS IS GOOD-BYE, XANDIR.
329
00:15:14,899 --> 00:15:15,965
FOREVER.
330
00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:17,265
TIM, WAIT.
331
00:15:17,299 --> 00:15:18,598
YOU HAVE TO TELL CAPTAIN HERO
332
00:15:18,633 --> 00:15:20,866
THAT YOU WANT
TO EXPLORE THESE FEELINGS.
333
00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:22,932
YES, BUT...BUT I'M SCARED.
334
00:15:22,967 --> 00:15:25,732
IT'S OK TO BE SCARED.
335
00:15:25,766 --> 00:15:29,199
BUT IT'S NOT OK TO DENY
WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
336
00:15:29,233 --> 00:15:30,766
YOU GET IT NOW, CRAIG?
337
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:34,198
I'LL DO IT, XANDIR.
I'LL DO IT FOR YOU.
338
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:36,766
I'LL DO IT FOR US.
339
00:15:52,767 --> 00:15:55,599
SENSORS INDICATE
THAT THE TV REVIEWER
340
00:15:55,633 --> 00:15:57,931
IS AT THE END
OF THE HALL.
341
00:15:57,966 --> 00:16:00,098
OK, GUYS, SHOW NO MERCY.
342
00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:03,833
REMEMBER, THESE PEOPLE
WORK IN CUBICLES.
343
00:16:03,867 --> 00:16:05,833
SO THEY'RE
ALREADY DEAD INSIDE.
344
00:16:05,867 --> 00:16:06,965
LET'S MOVE.
345
00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:08,565
[ALL SHOUTING]
346
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,399
WHY ARE YOU STABBING YOURSELF?
WHY ARE YOU STABBING YOURSELF?
347
00:16:31,934 --> 00:16:35,033
YAY!
348
00:16:35,067 --> 00:16:37,799
WAHHHH!
349
00:16:37,833 --> 00:16:40,632
WE HAVE A 9:15
TO SEE THE TV REVIEWER.
350
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,132
WE'RE A LITTLE EARLY.
351
00:16:42,166 --> 00:16:44,132
OH, YOU'RE
TDRAWN TOGETHER GANG.
352
00:16:44,166 --> 00:16:47,298
OF COURSE.
SHE'S BEEN EXPECTING YOU.
CAN I GET YOU SOME COFFEE?
353
00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:48,299
YEAH. SURE.
354
00:16:50,066 --> 00:16:52,265
OH, MY GOD.
THEY'RE DEAD.
THEY'RE ALL DEAD.
355
00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:53,932
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
356
00:16:53,966 --> 00:16:55,265
WHEE!
357
00:16:55,299 --> 00:16:56,498
WHEE!
358
00:17:01,034 --> 00:17:03,998
OH, MY GOD.
DID YOU TELL HIM?
HOW DID IT GO?
359
00:17:04,032 --> 00:17:06,733
YOU TELL ME.
360
00:17:06,767 --> 00:17:08,332
[GASPS] OH, BABY.
361
00:17:08,366 --> 00:17:11,232
WHAT KIND OF A JERK WOULD
HIT HIMSELF WEARING GLASSES?
362
00:17:11,266 --> 00:17:13,998
I TRIED TO FIGHT BACK,
XAN-DIR.
363
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,199
I THINK I BROKE HIS NOSE.
364
00:17:16,233 --> 00:17:17,499
[SNIFFS] OOH!
365
00:17:17,533 --> 00:17:19,432
DON'T LOOK. I'M HIDEOUS.
366
00:17:19,467 --> 00:17:22,165
OH, GOD. IS THERE
ANYTHING I CAN DO?
367
00:17:22,199 --> 00:17:25,433
ACTUALLY, THERE IS.
368
00:17:25,467 --> 00:17:27,533
[GASPS]
369
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,599
Xandir: THIS WHOLE
THING WAS CRAZY,
370
00:17:32,633 --> 00:17:34,732
BUT IT ALSO KIND
OF MADE SENSE.
371
00:17:34,767 --> 00:17:38,065
OBVIOUSLY, A SUPERHERO
IS IMPERVIOUS TO BULLETS.
372
00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:40,265
BUT TIM NEEDED ME
TO SHOOT CAPTAIN HERO
373
00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:43,499
AND SYMBOLICALLY KILL
THE HOMOPHOBIC SIDE
OF HIMSELF.
374
00:17:45,933 --> 00:17:47,265
CAPTAIN HERO?
375
00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:49,265
I'M DOING THIS
FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
376
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:52,732
WHAT ARE YOU--
[GRUNTING]
377
00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:54,332
AAH! [GRUNTS]
378
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,732
TIM.
379
00:18:01,767 --> 00:18:03,832
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
CAPTAIN HERO.
380
00:18:03,867 --> 00:18:06,566
YEAH. I GET THAT A LOT.
381
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:10,066
BUT DON'T FEEL BAD,
DEAR XAN-DIR.
382
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:12,498
I'VE BEEN LIVING
FOR 30-SOMETHING YEARS.
383
00:18:12,533 --> 00:18:16,465
BUT ONLY SINCE I MET YOU
HAVE I TRULY FELT...
384
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,265
ALIVE.
385
00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:20,098
[COUGHING]
386
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:22,599
TIM, BEFORE YOU GO,
387
00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:24,999
I JUST NEED
TO KNOW ONE THING.
388
00:18:25,033 --> 00:18:28,399
YES, SWEET XAN-DIR?
389
00:18:28,433 --> 00:18:29,799
ARE WE DONE?
390
00:18:29,833 --> 00:18:32,032
LIKE, ARE YOU GONNA
CUT THE SHIT NOW?
391
00:18:32,066 --> 00:18:33,699
YEAH, I GUESS SO.
392
00:18:33,733 --> 00:18:36,033
GOOD. NOW, LEAVE ME ALONE.
393
00:18:36,067 --> 00:18:38,032
XANDIR, I JUST WANTED
TO SEE IF I WAS.
394
00:18:38,066 --> 00:18:40,031
AND, YOU KNOW,
IT TURNS OUT I WASN'T.
395
00:18:40,066 --> 00:18:42,365
IT'S CAPTAIN HERO,
NOT CAPTAIN HOMO.
396
00:18:42,399 --> 00:18:43,399
WHATEVER.
397
00:18:43,434 --> 00:18:45,699
AND PROMISE TO KEEP THIS
BETWEEN US, BUDDY.
398
00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:49,166
I DON'T WANT ANYONE
TO THINK I'M CUCKOO, CUCKOO.
399
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:53,231
WELL, GUYS, IF ANY OF YOU
ARE GONNA CHICKEN OUT,
400
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:54,732
NOW'S THE TIME.
401
00:18:57,333 --> 00:18:59,632
All: AAH!
402
00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:02,198
AAH!
403
00:19:02,233 --> 00:19:04,532
ALL RIGHT.
404
00:19:04,566 --> 00:19:07,831
ALL RIGHT, TV REVIEWER,
YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR.
405
00:19:07,866 --> 00:19:10,165
AND WHO ARE YOU
TO TELL US--WHAT THE HELL!
406
00:19:11,833 --> 00:19:13,699
NO WONDER
YOU HATE THE SHOW.
407
00:19:13,733 --> 00:19:15,766
YOU'RE EVERYTHING
WE MAKE FUN OF.
408
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,599
YOU'RE JEWISH, CONSERVATIVE,
PRO-LIFE, BORN-AGAIN,
409
00:19:18,633 --> 00:19:22,965
OVERWEIGHT, ASIAN,
HOMOPHOBIC LESBIAN BROAD
WHO CUTS HERSELF.
410
00:19:24,333 --> 00:19:25,599
SO?
411
00:19:25,634 --> 00:19:29,165
SO MAYBE SOMEONE WHO
DOESN'T HAPPEN TO BE
412
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,632
A JEWISH, CONSERVATIVE,
PRO-LIFE, BORN-AGAIN,
413
00:19:31,666 --> 00:19:35,866
OVERWEIGHT, INDIAN
HOMOPHOBIC LESBIAN BROAD
WHO CUTS HERSELF
414
00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:38,165
MIGHT NOT BE OFFENDED
BY THE SHOW.
415
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,632
I HAVE EVERY RIGHT
TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT
I THINK OF YOUR SHOW.
416
00:19:41,667 --> 00:19:43,699
YES! BUT PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW
417
00:19:43,733 --> 00:19:45,999
YOU'RE NOT
OUR AUDIENCE, ASSHOLE!
418
00:19:48,766 --> 00:19:50,632
LISTEN, MR. HAM.
419
00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:53,132
THE FACT IS,
WE'RE BOTH RIGHT.
420
00:19:53,166 --> 00:19:56,165
I'M NOT EXACTLY
YOUR TARGET AUDIENCE.
421
00:19:56,199 --> 00:19:59,266
AND YOUR SHOW IS
A STEAMY PILE OF SHIT.
422
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:02,399
WELL, THAT'S FAIR.
423
00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:06,132
NOW, IF YOU DO WANT SOME
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM,
424
00:20:06,166 --> 00:20:08,132
THE BIGGEST PROBLEM
WITH YOUR SHOW
425
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,599
IS YOU NEVER KNOW
HOW TO END IT.
426
00:20:10,633 --> 00:20:13,365
THAT IS SO NOT TRUE.
427
00:20:15,567 --> 00:20:17,199
WHERE TO, MR. HAM?
428
00:20:17,233 --> 00:20:19,599
TO THE RODEO, BUMPERS.
429
00:20:19,634 --> 00:20:21,499
THE RODEO.
430
00:20:21,534 --> 00:20:23,932
OF COURSE, SIR. CHEERIO.
431
00:20:23,967 --> 00:20:26,199
Announcer: HEY,
JOIN US NEXT WEEK, KIDS,
432
00:20:26,233 --> 00:20:28,198
FOR A WHOLE
NOTHER ADVENTURE.
433
00:20:28,233 --> 00:20:29,832
BYE-BYE. HUH-HUH-HUH.
434
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:34,299
GODDAMN IT,
THAT WAS REAL TERRIBLE.
435
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:37,165
HEY, YOU KNOW
WHAT I THOUGHT
OF THAT SHOW?
436
00:20:37,199 --> 00:20:39,299
[FARTING]
437
00:20:39,333 --> 00:20:40,632
OOH!
438
00:20:40,666 --> 00:20:43,998
[FARTING CONTINUES]
439
00:20:46,133 --> 00:20:48,998
[FARTING CONTINUES]
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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