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1
00:00:09,349 --> 00:00:11,624
Well, Karl, you've got two choices.
2
00:00:11,893 --> 00:00:14,009
Either you have the tattoo removed,
3
00:00:14,271 --> 00:00:18,708
or you travel the globe searching for
another soul mate named Fredwina.
4
00:00:21,111 --> 00:00:23,022
We'll be right back after this.
5
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,636
I was going over this offer you got
from the Siren Cruise Line.
6
00:00:26,950 --> 00:00:28,668
- They wanna know...
- Roz.
7
00:00:28,910 --> 00:00:31,549
- You know my policy on endorsements.
- Listen.
8
00:00:31,830 --> 00:00:34,947
A celebrity entertainer cancelled
on a cruise to Alaska.
9
00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:39,209
They'll let us go for free ifyou fill
in. You have to give a brief lecture...
10
00:00:39,546 --> 00:00:42,618
Roz, I'm a psychiatrist, not a huckster.
11
00:00:42,924 --> 00:00:47,475
Some of us in this profession still
believe in... mahogany wainscoting?
12
00:00:47,846 --> 00:00:50,360
Isn't that fabulous?
Look at those staterooms.
13
00:00:50,641 --> 00:00:53,917
Not to mention the world-class
health spa and gourmet chefs...
14
00:00:54,227 --> 00:00:56,457
- It sounds tempting. It's just...
- I know.
15
00:00:56,730 --> 00:01:00,120
I don't think it's right to trade
on one's good name for a free trip.
16
00:01:00,442 --> 00:01:04,594
Plenty of people do. Look, Zubin Mehta
did one and General Schwarzkopf...
17
00:01:04,946 --> 00:01:06,982
It says Gore Vidal did two ofthem.
18
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,993
Gore Vidal? He hates everything.
19
00:01:10,285 --> 00:01:14,836
Ifyou feel it would tarnish your image,
I'll tell Vicki you decided to pass.
20
00:01:15,207 --> 00:01:18,324
- Vicki? Who's Vicki?
- She books the celebrities.
21
00:01:18,627 --> 00:01:21,460
I met her at a party.
I was surprised she remembered me.
22
00:01:21,755 --> 00:01:24,315
- We're on in 15 seconds.
- No, wait a minute.
23
00:01:24,591 --> 00:01:26,900
- It's a favour for a good friend?
- She's not.
24
00:01:27,177 --> 00:01:30,533
She means something to you.
You've put me in an awkward position.
25
00:01:30,847 --> 00:01:33,645
- Frasier, I don't care...
- All right, I'll go!
26
00:01:34,810 --> 00:01:38,200
This is the last time I pull your
chestnuts out of the fire.
27
00:01:47,155 --> 00:01:49,464
- Hello, Dr Crane.
- Hello, Daphne.
28
00:01:49,741 --> 00:01:53,370
You're looking very comfortable
for afternoon.
29
00:01:53,704 --> 00:01:55,296
I just love days like this.
30
00:01:55,539 --> 00:01:57,769
Nothing to do, nowhere to go.
31
00:01:58,041 --> 00:02:01,556
Although I have a nagging suspicion
I've forgotten something.
32
00:02:01,878 --> 00:02:03,834
Like getting dressed?
33
00:02:04,798 --> 00:02:07,517
Oh, I could justwatch the rain all day.
34
00:02:07,801 --> 00:02:10,315
When I was a little girl,
I hated the rain.
35
00:02:10,595 --> 00:02:13,393
Stuck inside, couldn't go out and play.
36
00:02:13,682 --> 00:02:16,799
But my mum would always say,
"Enjoy it while you can. "
37
00:02:17,102 --> 00:02:19,013
"There'll be no water in hell. "
38
00:02:19,271 --> 00:02:21,990
Course, that was
her answer for everything.
39
00:02:22,274 --> 00:02:25,744
"Eat your veggies. There'll be
no Brussels sprouts in hell. "
40
00:02:26,069 --> 00:02:29,539
"Have a lie down.
There'll be no naps in hell. "
41
00:02:33,201 --> 00:02:38,992
Daphne, I am a therapist. If you'd
like to talk about this sometime...
42
00:02:39,416 --> 00:02:41,213
About what?
43
00:02:42,461 --> 00:02:44,338
Nothing.
44
00:02:44,588 --> 00:02:46,818
Wish I could remember
what I forgot to do.
45
00:02:47,090 --> 00:02:48,762
Well, you know what they say/
46
00:02:49,009 --> 00:02:52,524
ifyou can't remember,
it probably wasn't important anyway.
47
00:02:52,846 --> 00:02:55,201
- Dad!
- Oh, no.
48
00:02:55,474 --> 00:02:56,668
You're dripping!
49
00:02:56,892 --> 00:03:00,202
That happens when you stand in the rain
waitin' for your ride.
50
00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:03,751
- Mr Crane, I am so sorry.
- What the hell were you thinking?
51
00:03:04,066 --> 00:03:07,217
Venting emotion is good,
but I've just had the floors waxed.
52
00:03:07,527 --> 00:03:09,643
I said 4.00
on the corner of 2nd and Bell.
53
00:03:09,905 --> 00:03:12,897
- You should have called me.
- I was afraid I'd miss you.
54
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:16,909
Good point, Dad. Ifyou'd just
step on this paper, please. Perfect.
55
00:03:17,245 --> 00:03:19,361
Oh, God, he's wet too! No!
56
00:03:19,623 --> 00:03:23,298
Damn him! Daphne, Daphne,
get this canine sprinkler out of here!
57
00:03:23,627 --> 00:03:25,663
Don't be too cross with him, Dr Crane.
58
00:03:25,921 --> 00:03:28,958
As me mum used to say,
there'll be no dogs in hell.
59
00:03:29,257 --> 00:03:31,293
I sincerely doubt that.
60
00:03:33,220 --> 00:03:35,415
- Niles.
- Frasier. Hey, Dad.
61
00:03:35,681 --> 00:03:38,115
I'm returning your cookbook.
I won't need it.
62
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:42,146
I thought you were preparing
an anniversary dinner for Maris.
63
00:03:42,479 --> 00:03:45,118
Not this year.
Maris is flying to a clinic in the Alps
64
00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:47,788
for an experimental
rejuvenation treatment.
65
00:03:48,068 --> 00:03:50,059
Only one man performs the procedure,
66
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:53,710
and she wants to see him
before he's extradited.
67
00:03:54,032 --> 00:03:56,671
- I'm so sorry.
- It's so depressing.
68
00:03:56,952 --> 00:04:00,911
Every time we approach a breakthrough
in our therapy, Maris runs away.
69
00:04:01,248 --> 00:04:04,399
I hoped that spending time together
on our anniversary
70
00:04:04,710 --> 00:04:06,223
would get us over the hump.
71
00:04:06,461 --> 00:04:09,453
There, there, Niles.
I know it's difficult when someone
72
00:04:09,756 --> 00:04:13,874
puts their own selfish obsession above
your emotional needs. Here you are.
73
00:04:14,219 --> 00:04:16,494
Take off that wet coat
and stay for dinner.
74
00:04:16,763 --> 00:04:20,233
I'll get us a couple of hot toddies
like we used to make at Duke's.
75
00:04:20,559 --> 00:04:24,188
Dad, you know, there's a recipe
in this book for a hot toddy.
76
00:04:24,521 --> 00:04:29,276
It calls for Courvoisier,
camomile tea and a dash of Framboise.
77
00:04:29,651 --> 00:04:34,566
Garnish it with a few rose petals, and
that's just how Duke used to serve it.
78
00:04:34,948 --> 00:04:36,779
Make yourself at home.
79
00:04:37,034 --> 00:04:40,071
Poor Niles.
You know, Dad, maybe I should...
80
00:04:40,370 --> 00:04:42,520
Stop! I know what you're gonna say.
81
00:04:42,789 --> 00:04:46,384
You wanna persuade Maris
to spend her anniversary with Niles.
82
00:04:46,710 --> 00:04:50,100
- I didn't realise I was so predictable.
- You are. If you ask me...
83
00:04:50,422 --> 00:04:52,617
Stop! I know what you're going to say.
84
00:04:52,883 --> 00:04:55,841
I should mind my own business,
keep my big bazoo shut.
85
00:04:56,136 --> 00:04:59,173
I was gonna say "fat yap",
but you're in the ballpark.
86
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:03,352
When two people are arguing, their
emotions can get the better of them.
87
00:05:03,685 --> 00:05:07,155
- A third party can provide perspective.
- They have a therapist.
88
00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:12,396
If Niles needs more help, he's got Dr
Jim Beam here, and he makes house calls.
89
00:05:12,778 --> 00:05:16,930
I'm not trying to make you feel guilty,
Maris. I hope you enjoy Switzerland.
90
00:05:17,282 --> 00:05:21,434
I have plans of my own for our
anniversary that I'm very excited about.
91
00:05:23,455 --> 00:05:26,208
That's a healthy approach.
What are your plans?
92
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,855
I thought I'd sit
in my cavernous apartment,
93
00:05:29,127 --> 00:05:31,687
rocking back and forth
while hugging my knees.
94
00:05:33,423 --> 00:05:37,621
Now, Niles, you're not gonna be alone
on your anniversary. You'll have us.
95
00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:43,328
Well, actually, I've agreed to
give a lecture on a cruise to Alaska.
96
00:05:43,725 --> 00:05:46,603
But I don't see a reason
why you two shouldn't join me.
97
00:05:46,895 --> 00:05:49,887
- That'd be great, wouldn't it, Niles?
- I don't know.
98
00:05:50,190 --> 00:05:52,750
Come on, it'd take your mind
offyour troubles.
99
00:05:53,026 --> 00:05:55,859
I appreciate it,
but whisking me off on a cruise...
100
00:05:56,154 --> 00:05:58,509
I'm not as emotionally fragile
as all that.
101
00:05:58,782 --> 00:06:02,092
As you wish. Well, Dad,
it'll just be you and me then.
102
00:06:02,411 --> 00:06:04,686
- Yeah. When do we leave?
- Fourteenth.
103
00:06:04,955 --> 00:06:07,025
The fourteenth?
104
00:06:26,184 --> 00:06:29,733
You know, that just gets funnier
and funnier each time you do it.
105
00:06:30,564 --> 00:06:32,520
No, no, I'm wrong.
106
00:06:35,610 --> 00:06:39,159
Hey! Some ship, huh?
How's your stateroom?
107
00:06:39,489 --> 00:06:42,606
I'd hardly call it a stateroom.
Wouldn't even call it a room,
108
00:06:42,909 --> 00:06:46,424
but I don't know the nautical term
for "broom closet with sconces. "
109
00:06:46,747 --> 00:06:48,738
- How's yours?
- The same.
110
00:06:48,999 --> 00:06:52,674
Worse. I'm sure you have a better view
from your porthole than I do.
111
00:06:53,003 --> 00:06:55,995
- You have a porthole?
- What difference does it make?
112
00:06:56,298 --> 00:07:00,655
- A cabin's just a place to shower...
- You have a shower?
113
00:07:01,011 --> 00:07:05,562
All I have is a nozzle and floor drain.
It took me an hour to put them together.
114
00:07:06,767 --> 00:07:10,282
The buffets come at a good clip,
so you gotta pace yourself.
115
00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:15,120
And watch out for your fillers, your
breads, your rolls, your chips and dips.
116
00:07:15,484 --> 00:07:18,317
You've only got so much room.
Don't be a hero.
117
00:07:21,782 --> 00:07:25,741
- Hey, guys!
- Hey! Hey, Fras, this is great!
118
00:07:26,078 --> 00:07:30,071
You got one of those cabins where the
whole bathroom turns into a shower?
119
00:07:31,750 --> 00:07:35,948
Yes. Before you say it, I had no idea
what Spartan conditions we were in for.
120
00:07:36,296 --> 00:07:40,175
That's all right. Once I got over my
fear that I'd be hauled below decks
121
00:07:40,509 --> 00:07:43,706
and manacled to another oarsman,
I started to enjoy myself.
122
00:07:44,012 --> 00:07:48,722
I won't spend much time in my cabin.
I'll hobnob with my fellow celebrities.
123
00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:52,332
They got a lot of big names on board.
Did you see the pictures?
124
00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:56,195
"Live and in person/
radio star Dr Frasier Crane. "
125
00:07:56,525 --> 00:07:58,641
- How about that?
- That's embarrassing.
126
00:07:58,902 --> 00:08:02,690
I don't care for "star", considering
the calibre of the others on board.
127
00:08:03,031 --> 00:08:06,228
"The comedy stylings of Giggles O'Shea. "
128
00:08:09,997 --> 00:08:13,194
Oh, yes, you're in stellar company.
129
00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:17,573
Look, they even managed to snare a
magician/ "The Amazing Lance Gould. "
130
00:08:17,921 --> 00:08:21,436
Oh, he's great! I caught his act
in Reno a few years ago.
131
00:08:21,758 --> 00:08:25,114
For his finale,
he made his own head disappear.
132
00:08:25,429 --> 00:08:27,021
Did the toupee go, too,
133
00:08:27,264 --> 00:08:29,414
- or did it just hover...?
- Dear God!
134
00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:32,755
You've booked me
on a floating Gong Show!
135
00:08:33,061 --> 00:08:36,974
- What happened to Mehta and Vidal?
- I am so sorry, Frasier, I had no idea.
136
00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:40,353
I guess they just book
A- list celebrities on big ships.
137
00:08:40,652 --> 00:08:45,646
Attention, please. The Taste of Alaska
buffet is served on the Lido Deck.
138
00:08:46,033 --> 00:08:48,627
That's my cue. You guys comin'?
139
00:08:48,910 --> 00:08:52,983
- Dad, we had a big lunch at home.
- Rookie mistake. See you at dinner.
140
00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:57,889
It's not that bad.
At least you got top billing.
141
00:08:58,170 --> 00:08:59,762
Of course I got top billing.
142
00:09:00,005 --> 00:09:03,395
- I'm the only one there I've heard of!
- What about him?
143
00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:07,949
"Latin Singing Sensation
Carlos 'The Barracuda' Del Gato?"
144
00:09:08,305 --> 00:09:13,220
Remember him from the '70s? He invented
that dance craze, the Barracuda.
145
00:09:13,602 --> 00:09:16,241
Believe it or not,
Maris was a big fan of his.
146
00:09:16,521 --> 00:09:18,830
- No.
- That was the one dance she could do.
147
00:09:19,107 --> 00:09:21,382
The Hustle was too strenuous.
148
00:09:21,652 --> 00:09:23,802
She had no booty to shake...
149
00:09:26,073 --> 00:09:30,271
but her fetching little underbite
was just perfect for the Barracuda.
150
00:09:35,332 --> 00:09:38,210
Niles, why is that woman staring at you?
151
00:09:40,170 --> 00:09:44,243
God help me! It's that awful Mimi
Cosgrove from the country club. Hide me!
152
00:09:44,591 --> 00:09:46,661
She's a man-eating lush who'd go...
153
00:09:46,927 --> 00:09:50,317
- Niles?
- You little good-for-nothing Mimi!
154
00:09:52,015 --> 00:09:55,007
- What are you doing here?
- Oh, looking for the bar.
155
00:09:55,310 --> 00:09:56,982
Oh, there it is.
156
00:09:57,229 --> 00:09:59,663
- Let me buy you a cocktail.
- Oh, you know...
157
00:09:59,940 --> 00:10:03,410
I don't know what it is about the ocean
that makes me so thirsty.
158
00:10:03,735 --> 00:10:05,293
Have you been working out?
159
00:10:08,699 --> 00:10:11,088
Look, there he is. The Barracuda.
160
00:10:11,368 --> 00:10:14,963
How thrilling!
A fellow headliner on the USS Has-been.
161
00:10:15,288 --> 00:10:17,006
Oh, shut up.
162
00:10:17,708 --> 00:10:20,347
Come on,
let's go over my notes for my lecture.
163
00:10:20,627 --> 00:10:24,825
Dr Frasier Crane? I am Carlos Del Gato.
164
00:10:26,425 --> 00:10:29,974
Hello. It's a pleasure to meet you.
This is Roz Doyle.
165
00:10:30,304 --> 00:10:34,536
- Buenas noches. Habla espanol?
- Oh, not really.
166
00:10:34,891 --> 00:10:40,124
It's no matter. I am sure you are
schooled in the international language.
167
00:10:40,522 --> 00:10:43,320
Oh, yes, Roz.
Say something amusing in Esperanto.
168
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:47,435
Each night
169
00:10:47,654 --> 00:10:52,774
I select the most beautiful woman in my
audience and present to her a red rose.
170
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:55,720
This means the evening has just begun.
171
00:10:57,289 --> 00:11:02,966
Perhaps one night
you will be my especial lady.
172
00:11:03,879 --> 00:11:05,710
Until then...
173
00:11:12,638 --> 00:11:16,187
OK, you're right.
We're on the voyage of the damned.
174
00:11:18,352 --> 00:11:20,866
- So, are you still separated?
- I'm afraid so.
175
00:11:21,146 --> 00:11:24,377
- Oh, you poor thing.
- Well, we're trying.
176
00:11:24,691 --> 00:11:26,761
- We're in therapy.
- Oh, good.
177
00:11:27,027 --> 00:11:29,780
You know how much
I've always thought of you and...
178
00:11:30,072 --> 00:11:32,142
- Maris.
- Yeah, an angel.
179
00:11:32,407 --> 00:11:36,685
If there's any way I can be of comfort
to you, why, you just let me know.
180
00:11:37,037 --> 00:11:39,597
- What is that marvellous fragrance?
- That's...
181
00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:43,024
Pardon, sir. The lady sends you this
with her compliments.
182
00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:46,725
- What lady?
- There in the black dress and veil.
183
00:11:48,131 --> 00:11:49,962
- Maris!
- There was one more thing.
184
00:11:50,217 --> 00:11:51,935
Yes?
185
00:11:58,058 --> 00:12:01,528
I'm sorry, sir, but she gave me
the biggest tip I've ever seen.
186
00:12:01,853 --> 00:12:05,732
I'm sure you can convince Maris
this is all completely innocent.
187
00:12:06,066 --> 00:12:08,580
If not, I'm in cabin 712.
188
00:12:10,570 --> 00:12:13,482
What happened?
Was that Maris I saw running out?
189
00:12:13,782 --> 00:12:16,580
She saw Mimi pawing me
and assumed the worst.
190
00:12:16,868 --> 00:12:19,587
- How upsetwas she?
- I couldn't see past the outfit.
191
00:12:19,871 --> 00:12:22,101
Who wears a black dress and veil
on a cruise?
192
00:12:22,374 --> 00:12:23,887
She has no pigmentation.
193
00:12:24,126 --> 00:12:27,516
Three minutes in the sun,
she'd sear like an ahi tuna.
194
00:12:29,965 --> 00:12:33,037
She's supposed to be in Switzerland.
Why's she here?
195
00:12:33,343 --> 00:12:34,856
Niles, Niles, I'm sorry.
196
00:12:35,095 --> 00:12:38,167
I'm afraid that this
may be partly my fault.
197
00:12:38,473 --> 00:12:42,022
You see, I left a message on her machine
saying how upset you were
198
00:12:42,352 --> 00:12:45,264
and it might be fun
if she could join us on the cruise.
199
00:12:45,564 --> 00:12:49,557
- You invited her and didn't tell me?
- I thought itwould be a nice surprise.
200
00:12:49,901 --> 00:12:52,096
Oh, well, it worked out perfectly!
201
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:56,397
She's probably arranging
to fly home from the next port.
202
00:12:56,700 --> 00:13:00,579
The lady who sent me the champagne,
do you know which room she's in?
203
00:13:00,912 --> 00:13:03,472
No, sir, but she asked me
to give you a message.
204
00:13:11,757 --> 00:13:15,033
Just out of curiosity,
how much are these running her?
205
00:13:17,262 --> 00:13:20,732
You're on in 20 minutes.
How's your speech coming?
206
00:13:21,058 --> 00:13:24,607
It's hard to concentrate.
I'm so concerned about Niles.
207
00:13:24,936 --> 00:13:28,133
I like this opening joke you wrote.
It's very funny.
208
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,715
Thank you. I can't take all the credit.
209
00:13:31,026 --> 00:13:34,336
I had a patty melt with Giggles
before his show.
210
00:13:37,658 --> 00:13:43,210
Oh, Niles, I can't tell you again
how sorry I am for meddling.
211
00:13:44,331 --> 00:13:46,287
- How did it go with Maris?
- Terribly.
212
00:13:46,541 --> 00:13:50,580
This is without a doubt the most
depressing night of my life.
213
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,308
That is so fun... I'm sorry.
214
00:13:57,719 --> 00:14:01,428
I looked for her for hours. I remembered
her fondness for the Barracuda.
215
00:14:01,765 --> 00:14:06,839
In the lounge, that Latin cheeseball
was crooning his ghastly song to her.
216
00:14:07,229 --> 00:14:09,379
I approached, then a waiter came over.
217
00:14:09,648 --> 00:14:13,766
By the time I got the champagne out of
my eyes, she had disappeared.
218
00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:18,362
I waited after the show.
She didn't come out.
219
00:14:18,699 --> 00:14:20,257
Neither did Del Gato.
220
00:14:20,492 --> 00:14:23,529
- What are you implying?
- You know her taste for revenge.
221
00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:28,107
If she thinks I'm having an affair with
Mimi, she'll tryto punish me in kind.
222
00:14:28,458 --> 00:14:33,327
Wow! Do you reallythink
she's planning to do the Barracuda?
223
00:14:37,884 --> 00:14:41,559
Niles, don't jump to conclusions.
224
00:14:41,888 --> 00:14:43,924
That's exactly what Maris did.
225
00:14:44,182 --> 00:14:47,094
Says a lot about our marriage.
No trust on either side.
226
00:14:47,394 --> 00:14:48,907
What hope is there for us?
227
00:14:49,146 --> 00:14:53,298
- Is there anything I can do?
- No, you've done enough.
228
00:14:53,650 --> 00:14:55,959
I'm just going to take a walk.
229
00:14:56,236 --> 00:14:58,113
Oh, God.
230
00:14:58,363 --> 00:15:00,115
Oh, I feel so guilty.
231
00:15:01,074 --> 00:15:06,273
When will I learn to stop interfering
in other people's affairs?
232
00:15:06,663 --> 00:15:09,700
I better go talk to Maris
and see if I can fix this.
233
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:13,595
- Are you gonna butt in again?
- What business is that ofyours?
234
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:15,433
- There's your dad.
- Oh, no.
235
00:15:15,672 --> 00:15:18,106
If he finds out,
I'll never hear the end of it.
236
00:15:18,383 --> 00:15:21,500
Boy, that Taste of Alaska spread
was a bust.
237
00:15:21,803 --> 00:15:24,681
Wanna know
what caribou meat tastes like?
238
00:15:24,973 --> 00:15:26,929
Not chicken.
239
00:15:28,602 --> 00:15:31,514
- Where's Niles?
- He's out for a walk.
240
00:15:32,606 --> 00:15:35,279
Oh, I may as well
tell you the whole thing.
241
00:15:35,567 --> 00:15:39,560
Maris is on board.
She and Niles had a horrible fight
242
00:15:39,905 --> 00:15:42,544
and their marriage
is in worse shape than ever.
243
00:15:42,824 --> 00:15:46,180
- No need telling you how she got here.
- I know, I know.
244
00:15:46,495 --> 00:15:49,965
- What was I thinking, inviting her?
- You invited Maris?
245
00:15:50,290 --> 00:15:53,760
Niles was so upset
about being alone on their anniversary.
246
00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:55,883
It seemed like a good idea.
247
00:15:56,129 --> 00:15:58,882
Smart, huh? I give you all this guff
about buttin' in
248
00:15:59,174 --> 00:16:01,688
and then I turn round
and do the same damn thing.
249
00:16:01,969 --> 00:16:04,608
Oh, Dad, don't be too hard on yourself.
250
00:16:06,264 --> 00:16:09,222
- Frasier?
- Oh, all right!
251
00:16:09,518 --> 00:16:12,078
- I invited Maris, too.
- You did?
252
00:16:12,354 --> 00:16:14,914
- Yeah.
- I told you to keep your bazoo shut!
253
00:16:15,190 --> 00:16:16,669
Oh, you're one to talk!
254
00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:19,460
- What are we gonna do now?
- Nothing at all.
255
00:16:19,736 --> 00:16:21,806
Let them resolve their own differences.
256
00:16:22,072 --> 00:16:24,791
- Stay on the sidelines where we belong.
- Right.
257
00:16:25,075 --> 00:16:29,068
- Better get going. I'll miss dinner.
- Dad, my lecture's in 15 minutes.
258
00:16:29,413 --> 00:16:32,052
Oh, jeez.
Well, I guess I can't do everything.
259
00:16:32,332 --> 00:16:34,892
Tell me how it went
at the midnight buffet.
260
00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:39,699
- We better go to your lecture.
- Right.
261
00:16:39,965 --> 00:16:43,275
- First, I'm gonna go talk to Maris.
- You just said...
262
00:16:43,593 --> 00:16:46,426
- Forget what I said! You come too.
- I don't know her.
263
00:16:46,722 --> 00:16:50,635
- You can vouch for Niles' innocence.
- All right. I'm curious to meet her.
264
00:16:50,976 --> 00:16:54,286
- I've never seen her face.
- I haven't seen her most recent one,
265
00:16:54,604 --> 00:16:57,277
so this'll be a new experience
for both of us.
266
00:16:59,026 --> 00:17:01,699
All right, now listen,
let me do all the talking.
267
00:17:01,987 --> 00:17:05,946
If it looks like she has an orange
Abyssinian on her head, don't stare.
268
00:17:06,283 --> 00:17:08,160
That's a wiglet.
269
00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:12,357
All through. Have a nice evening.
270
00:17:13,498 --> 00:17:16,695
Damn. She must not be here.
What are you doing? You can't go in.
271
00:17:17,002 --> 00:17:20,631
- I just want to see the room.
- You can't barge into someone's room.
272
00:17:20,964 --> 00:17:24,240
My God! Is that a grand piano?
273
00:17:25,969 --> 00:17:30,520
- Frasier, look.
- Barracuda's calling card.
274
00:17:30,891 --> 00:17:32,847
He's chosen Maris to be his...
275
00:17:33,101 --> 00:17:35,217
Especial lady.
276
00:17:37,814 --> 00:17:39,088
She's coming.
277
00:17:40,776 --> 00:17:43,290
Why are we hiding?
You came here to talk to her.
278
00:17:43,570 --> 00:17:47,165
You can't extol the virtues of trust to
someone whose room you've broken into.
279
00:17:47,491 --> 00:17:49,209
She's coming!
280
00:17:50,744 --> 00:17:51,893
Oh, dear God!
281
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:55,351
- The shower is bigger than my cabin!
- Shut up!
282
00:17:58,585 --> 00:17:59,938
Martin!
283
00:18:02,756 --> 00:18:05,065
- Why are you here?
- We came to talk to Maris.
284
00:18:05,342 --> 00:18:07,173
- Why are you here?
- The same as you.
285
00:18:07,427 --> 00:18:11,306
- Why did you come in the bathroom?
- Well, what do you think?
286
00:18:13,058 --> 00:18:16,130
- Oh, all right.
- Let's get the hell out of here.
287
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:18,378
It's Maris.
288
00:18:18,605 --> 00:18:21,722
What's the big deal?
Why don'twe go out and talk to her?
289
00:18:22,025 --> 00:18:24,778
We can't. She may not be alone.
Remember the rose?
290
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:26,549
Oh, God.
291
00:18:28,532 --> 00:18:31,604
Oh, I don't see her.
Maybe she went back out.
292
00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:35,061
Oh, wait, I see her coat on a hat rack.
293
00:18:36,999 --> 00:18:38,557
Look closer.
294
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,190
Is the hat rack moving?
295
00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:46,372
- Oh my God!
- What's she doing?
296
00:18:46,675 --> 00:18:48,870
- She seems to be alone.
- That's good.
297
00:18:49,136 --> 00:18:52,287
- She's pouring champagne. Two glasses.
- That's bad.
298
00:18:52,597 --> 00:18:53,871
She's putting on music.
299
00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:56,294
Do the barracuda
300
00:18:58,895 --> 00:19:02,092
Oh, that's bad. On so many levels.
301
00:19:02,399 --> 00:19:04,151
She's coming this way.
302
00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:09,076
Shut up! Shut up!
303
00:19:26,506 --> 00:19:27,700
She's gone.
304
00:19:27,924 --> 00:19:29,801
How are we gonna get outta here?
305
00:19:30,052 --> 00:19:33,442
No idea, but I've got three minutes
before I have to be downstairs
306
00:19:33,764 --> 00:19:37,723
- or 200 people will be disappointed.
- 200 people? Where'd you hear that?
307
00:19:38,060 --> 00:19:40,528
They told me that was the room capacity.
308
00:19:40,812 --> 00:19:45,328
Oh! Oh, come on!
Giggles had to add a show.
309
00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:47,831
She's gonna hear us.
310
00:19:48,070 --> 00:19:50,425
- It's the Barracuda.
- Who's the Barracuda?
311
00:19:50,697 --> 00:19:52,767
A sleazy singer
Maris is gonna sleep with
312
00:19:53,033 --> 00:19:55,467
- to get back at Niles for kissing Mimi.
- Who's Mimi?
313
00:19:55,744 --> 00:19:58,463
A horny boozer and this predicament's
Mrs O'Leary's cow.
314
00:19:58,747 --> 00:20:01,056
- Who's Mrs O'Leary?
- A woman in Chicago who...
315
00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:03,130
Later! I haven't got time.
316
00:20:04,211 --> 00:20:07,487
We must stop her before she
damages her relationship forever.
317
00:20:07,798 --> 00:20:10,915
We cannot go out there now.
We don't want to walk in on them.
318
00:20:11,218 --> 00:20:14,016
I don't want to see that.
I just ate caribou.
319
00:20:17,724 --> 00:20:19,043
Oh, very well.
320
00:20:19,267 --> 00:20:23,340
It seems I'm the only one
who really cares about this. I will go.
321
00:20:28,694 --> 00:20:34,087
Maris, what a lovely bathroom!
What are you doing here?
322
00:20:34,491 --> 00:20:38,564
We came to convince Maris nothing was
going on. What are you doing here?
323
00:20:38,912 --> 00:20:43,747
Maris and I ran into each other. We had
a talk and she invited me for champagne.
324
00:20:44,126 --> 00:20:45,559
Oh, that's great, Niles.
325
00:20:45,794 --> 00:20:48,706
It might mar the mood a bit
if she finds you spying on her.
326
00:20:49,006 --> 00:20:51,725
- Did you use that mouthwash?
- No, no, Maris did.
327
00:20:52,009 --> 00:20:56,764
My God! She's in the mood
for more than champagne.
328
00:20:57,139 --> 00:21:00,449
You've got to leave. Give me time
to see her out to the balcony.
329
00:21:00,767 --> 00:21:02,359
A balcony?
330
00:21:07,190 --> 00:21:08,828
Count to ten and then scram,
331
00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:13,026
so Maris and I can celebrate the way
a man and his wife were meant to.
332
00:21:14,531 --> 00:21:16,362
She started without me.
333
00:21:19,161 --> 00:21:21,231
Drinking the champagne.
29076
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