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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:31,885 Candace! Candace? 2 00:00:31,970 --> 00:00:35,376 Get down here! Now! 3 00:00:36,752 --> 00:00:39,340 Sam just left. He is going to kill his father. 4 00:00:39,425 --> 00:00:41,145 - What did you say to him? - He decided 5 00:00:41,229 --> 00:00:43,316 that killing his father would make him better. 6 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:44,685 Would it? 7 00:00:44,769 --> 00:00:46,523 Well, no, I don't think so. 8 00:00:46,607 --> 00:00:48,292 He could come back here and... 9 00:00:48,376 --> 00:00:49,896 Are you sure it won't work? 10 00:00:49,980 --> 00:00:55,206 Candace, I understand that this man was brutal to you. 11 00:00:55,290 --> 00:00:57,644 But I'm supposed to care what happens to him? 12 00:00:57,728 --> 00:01:01,002 Well... yes. Yes, a little. 13 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,904 Can I come in? 14 00:01:31,730 --> 00:01:33,834 You hungry? 15 00:01:57,382 --> 00:01:59,768 I've been in this position many times. 16 00:01:59,852 --> 00:02:02,258 There's nothing you can do. 17 00:02:03,327 --> 00:02:07,301 I usually have a beer and try to relax. 18 00:02:30,524 --> 00:02:31,799 Bathroom? 19 00:02:31,884 --> 00:02:34,155 Uh, around the corner. 20 00:03:13,266 --> 00:03:16,239 You think I'm some sort of a monster, too. 21 00:03:18,677 --> 00:03:20,982 But I'm not. 22 00:03:21,749 --> 00:03:24,005 I'm like anybody else. 23 00:03:24,089 --> 00:03:28,746 When he's... out, like now... 24 00:03:28,830 --> 00:03:31,118 I'm so scared for him. 25 00:03:31,202 --> 00:03:36,279 I'm so sad for the life he's living. 26 00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:46,032 But the families... the people he does this to... 27 00:03:47,368 --> 00:03:50,023 I make up stories in my head about them. 28 00:03:50,107 --> 00:03:52,627 I live it, in a way. 29 00:03:52,711 --> 00:03:56,635 I picture... them as babies, 30 00:03:56,719 --> 00:03:59,308 with their mothers holding them. 31 00:03:59,392 --> 00:04:02,932 Their fathers playing with them on the floor. 32 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:08,860 These poor men. 33 00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:11,399 But you won't call the police? 34 00:04:11,483 --> 00:04:17,061 Candace... you won't save them from this? 35 00:04:19,132 --> 00:04:20,901 I can't. 36 00:04:22,638 --> 00:04:25,010 I cannot. 37 00:04:32,158 --> 00:04:33,293 God. 38 00:05:06,326 --> 00:05:09,832 Why did you used to hit me so much when I was a kid? 39 00:05:15,878 --> 00:05:17,448 I don't know. 40 00:05:21,289 --> 00:05:25,998 How did it make you feel? When you...? 41 00:05:26,766 --> 00:05:28,470 What? 42 00:05:30,608 --> 00:05:34,865 When you used to hit me all the time. 43 00:05:34,949 --> 00:05:37,604 How did it make you feel? 44 00:05:38,032 --> 00:05:41,736 I don't know. 45 00:05:41,963 --> 00:05:44,602 Bad, I guess. 46 00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:48,092 You were a weird kid. 47 00:05:48,176 --> 00:05:52,033 You couldn't follow rules, you couldn't play games, 48 00:05:52,117 --> 00:05:54,956 you didn't have any friends. 49 00:05:55,724 --> 00:05:57,611 And your mother was reading all her books, 50 00:05:57,695 --> 00:06:01,302 telling me it was all my fault you were like that. 51 00:06:02,739 --> 00:06:05,277 Anyway, I'm sorry. 52 00:06:52,939 --> 00:06:55,677 My therapist said not to kill you. 53 00:07:01,657 --> 00:07:03,293 And then I left. 54 00:07:04,829 --> 00:07:06,499 How do you feel? 55 00:07:08,403 --> 00:07:13,998 I was choking him and I could feel him disappearing, 56 00:07:14,082 --> 00:07:16,319 and I stopped. 57 00:07:17,990 --> 00:07:20,193 It was like I didn't want to. 58 00:07:21,563 --> 00:07:23,049 Why not? 59 00:07:23,133 --> 00:07:25,287 I-I don't know. 60 00:07:25,371 --> 00:07:28,593 I mean, he said he was sorry, but fuck him, right? 61 00:07:28,677 --> 00:07:32,401 I just, I hate him so much 62 00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:35,440 and usually that feeling, it makes me want to 63 00:07:35,524 --> 00:07:38,079 go ahead and... 64 00:07:38,163 --> 00:07:41,452 But I was on top of him, and I hated him. 65 00:07:41,536 --> 00:07:47,798 And this time, that feeling, it-it made me not want to. 66 00:07:47,882 --> 00:07:50,453 I... 67 00:07:51,589 --> 00:07:53,209 Hmm. 68 00:07:53,293 --> 00:07:55,964 Do you know why I didn't do it? 69 00:07:57,701 --> 00:08:00,357 What was different, between your father, 70 00:08:00,441 --> 00:08:02,744 and everyone else that you've hurt? 71 00:08:04,816 --> 00:08:06,068 I don't know. 72 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:09,091 What's the obvious difference? 73 00:08:10,327 --> 00:08:11,946 He hurt me the most. 74 00:08:12,030 --> 00:08:14,484 Okay, good. What else? 75 00:08:14,568 --> 00:08:18,042 What's the most obvious difference? 76 00:08:21,549 --> 00:08:23,669 He's my father. 77 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,975 Right. 78 00:08:26,059 --> 00:08:28,179 Sam, you were on top of him... 79 00:08:28,263 --> 00:08:32,253 the one who treated you like this. 80 00:08:32,337 --> 00:08:36,261 If you killed him, you'd be doing it, too. 81 00:08:36,345 --> 00:08:37,831 Acting just like him. 82 00:08:37,915 --> 00:08:39,668 Being just like him. 83 00:08:39,752 --> 00:08:40,938 You hate that part of him. 84 00:08:41,022 --> 00:08:43,576 You are trying to be different. 85 00:08:43,660 --> 00:08:46,582 Trying to get rid of that ugly part of him 86 00:08:46,666 --> 00:08:48,352 that lives inside of you. 87 00:08:48,436 --> 00:08:53,162 You were right to confront your father. 88 00:08:53,246 --> 00:08:55,266 But you didn't need to kill him. 89 00:08:55,350 --> 00:08:58,790 You needed to not kill him. 90 00:08:59,759 --> 00:09:03,148 This is it, Sam. 91 00:09:03,232 --> 00:09:04,485 It is a major breakthrough, 92 00:09:04,569 --> 00:09:07,959 even if you're not quite feeling it yet. 93 00:09:08,043 --> 00:09:12,000 Not killing your father is... 94 00:09:12,084 --> 00:09:14,337 You wanted to change. 95 00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:18,129 Look at you. You've changed. 96 00:09:19,298 --> 00:09:22,104 How does it feel? 97 00:09:23,106 --> 00:09:25,427 Okay. I guess. 98 00:09:25,511 --> 00:09:28,399 It's everything that we have been working towards. 99 00:09:28,483 --> 00:09:32,624 You-you stopped yourself. This is extraordinary. 100 00:09:38,136 --> 00:09:39,655 Thanks. 101 00:09:42,612 --> 00:09:44,748 Hmm. 102 00:09:51,162 --> 00:09:53,015 I'm gonna go and get some dinner. 103 00:09:53,099 --> 00:09:55,553 Uh, is there anything in particular that you'd... 104 00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:58,025 I'm-I'm not really hungry right now. 105 00:09:58,109 --> 00:10:01,649 I, um... Sam... 106 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:07,761 It's time to let me go home. 107 00:10:08,897 --> 00:10:10,768 You're ready. 108 00:10:11,636 --> 00:10:14,274 And I need to get back to my family. 109 00:10:16,612 --> 00:10:20,703 Sometimes therapists talk with their patients 110 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,040 about their own lives. 111 00:10:22,124 --> 00:10:25,948 Because... well, you know, we're all human beings. 112 00:10:26,032 --> 00:10:29,487 We all are struggling, every last one of us. 113 00:10:29,571 --> 00:10:33,696 So... I want you to understand a few things about me. 114 00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:36,501 You have been struggling with your father. 115 00:10:36,585 --> 00:10:39,066 And you just had a big breakthrough. 116 00:10:39,363 --> 00:10:42,647 I'm in the middle of a struggle with my son, too. 117 00:10:42,731 --> 00:10:46,739 And I need to get back to him for our breakthrough. 118 00:10:47,508 --> 00:10:50,430 I did a lot of damage to my son, too. 119 00:10:50,514 --> 00:10:53,369 I know it's not the same as what your father did. 120 00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:59,715 But, Sam... people don't deserve to die 121 00:10:59,799 --> 00:11:01,920 for falling short. 122 00:11:02,004 --> 00:11:04,090 No matter how short. 123 00:11:04,174 --> 00:11:09,218 We're all... broken vessels. 124 00:11:11,589 --> 00:11:14,395 I need to get back to my son. 125 00:11:16,099 --> 00:11:19,221 I want you to come see me in my office for regular sessions, 126 00:11:19,305 --> 00:11:20,623 every day at first, 127 00:11:20,707 --> 00:11:24,381 but pretty soon we can go to three days a week. 128 00:11:25,150 --> 00:11:27,454 I have enormous faith in you. 129 00:11:29,191 --> 00:11:30,610 I also want to address 130 00:11:30,694 --> 00:11:32,915 your completely understandable concern, I assume, 131 00:11:32,999 --> 00:11:35,620 that, if you let me go, I will turn you in. 132 00:11:35,704 --> 00:11:39,963 As a therapist, I have a legal and ethical obligation 133 00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:41,934 to keep your confidence. 134 00:11:42,018 --> 00:11:44,906 Including any, um, 135 00:11:44,990 --> 00:11:47,277 crimes that you may have committed in the past. 136 00:11:47,361 --> 00:11:52,220 It only gets thorny if you are clearly going to kill somebody. 137 00:11:52,304 --> 00:11:53,856 And if, at some point in the future, 138 00:11:53,940 --> 00:11:56,829 you have an overwhelming urge to kill again, 139 00:11:56,913 --> 00:11:59,501 and you don't think you'll be able to control it, 140 00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:01,471 that will be the moment for us 141 00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:04,311 to find a therapeutic institution for you. 142 00:12:04,395 --> 00:12:06,448 But I don't see that happening. 143 00:12:06,532 --> 00:12:11,191 I think that, by not killing your father, 144 00:12:11,275 --> 00:12:14,364 you have demonstrated great progress 145 00:12:14,448 --> 00:12:16,819 and likely permanent change. 146 00:12:18,590 --> 00:12:20,309 I'm really proud of you. 147 00:12:20,393 --> 00:12:24,017 I am proud of the progress that you have made. 148 00:12:24,101 --> 00:12:28,910 And I think that you will continue to make progress. 149 00:15:02,317 --> 00:15:04,421 I'll be right back. 150 00:15:48,410 --> 00:15:50,596 I get what you've been saying. 151 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,500 I've been rushing you. 152 00:15:52,584 --> 00:15:55,340 Because I want to get better. 153 00:15:55,424 --> 00:15:59,814 But therapy takes time. 154 00:15:59,898 --> 00:16:03,172 Years, you said, sometimes. 155 00:16:05,644 --> 00:16:09,701 So, I'll get a TV and... 156 00:16:09,785 --> 00:16:12,691 I can stock the fridge with anything you want. 157 00:16:31,328 --> 00:16:33,749 It's a miracle that everyone who was beaten like that 158 00:16:33,833 --> 00:16:36,155 doesn't become a serial killer. 159 00:16:36,239 --> 00:16:39,027 Why wouldn't they, after suffering like that? 160 00:16:39,111 --> 00:16:44,604 It's like an effort to turn them into a serial killer 161 00:16:44,688 --> 00:16:46,977 that doesn't always work. 162 00:16:47,061 --> 00:16:49,414 That poor kid... 163 00:16:49,498 --> 00:16:51,952 with all of it... 164 00:16:52,036 --> 00:16:56,328 he somehow managed to not kill his father. 165 00:16:56,412 --> 00:16:59,367 Maybe this fucking therapy is working after all. 166 00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:03,876 We know this story. He needs a replacement father. 167 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,950 That's why he wants to keep you here for the next ten years. 168 00:17:07,034 --> 00:17:10,589 He understands, maybe intuitively, that he needs 169 00:17:10,673 --> 00:17:12,593 to do it again. 170 00:17:12,677 --> 00:17:15,900 To relive his life with a different model. 171 00:17:15,984 --> 00:17:20,009 Well, I'm not spending the next ten years down here. 172 00:17:20,093 --> 00:17:23,232 No, you're not. 173 00:19:06,405 --> 00:19:09,160 A little meshuggener, maybe. 174 00:19:44,481 --> 00:19:46,485 Sam? 175 00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:49,724 Sam, could you come out here, please? 176 00:20:17,947 --> 00:20:23,225 Sam, I don't think... 177 00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:31,024 I don't think that I said what really 178 00:20:31,108 --> 00:20:33,895 needed to be said yesterday. 179 00:20:33,979 --> 00:20:39,040 It has been a problem down here for me, 180 00:20:39,124 --> 00:20:42,780 to always know exactly how to communicate with you. 181 00:20:42,864 --> 00:20:45,737 And to know what I'm feeling. 182 00:20:46,739 --> 00:20:50,129 I have something to say that may be difficult to hear. 183 00:20:50,213 --> 00:20:52,466 That is part of this process, though, 184 00:20:52,550 --> 00:20:54,805 honestly sharing the truth, 185 00:20:54,889 --> 00:20:57,193 even if it's hard. 186 00:21:02,604 --> 00:21:04,223 You brought me down here, 187 00:21:04,307 --> 00:21:08,148 and you asked me to treat you, and I did. 188 00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:13,125 And I can't do it anymore. 189 00:21:14,861 --> 00:21:17,985 I have done the most I can. 190 00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:21,191 And I am telling you, in my professional opinion, 191 00:21:21,275 --> 00:21:25,366 and I consider this to be a near certainty, 192 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:30,475 for you to get better, you need to be physically stopped 193 00:21:30,559 --> 00:21:32,446 from acting out your compulsion. 194 00:21:32,530 --> 00:21:36,588 Being physically prevented from hurting anyone else 195 00:21:36,672 --> 00:21:40,862 is what will give you the freedom to actually heal 196 00:21:40,946 --> 00:21:42,901 your heart and your mind. 197 00:21:42,985 --> 00:21:45,739 It's what will give you the space to heal 198 00:21:45,823 --> 00:21:47,176 what your father did to you. 199 00:21:47,260 --> 00:21:49,982 As much as it can be, Sam. 200 00:21:50,066 --> 00:21:53,055 That kind of pain never heals entirely. 201 00:21:53,139 --> 00:21:57,881 But you can do enough of it to allow you to live a better life. 202 00:21:58,949 --> 00:22:02,640 Sam, I have so much respect for what you're trying to do. 203 00:22:02,724 --> 00:22:04,009 It's very brave. 204 00:22:04,093 --> 00:22:07,249 In the whole history of people who have struggled 205 00:22:07,333 --> 00:22:08,953 with what you're struggling with, 206 00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:11,491 I bet you stand alone 207 00:22:11,575 --> 00:22:14,481 in the strength of your efforts to change. 208 00:22:16,352 --> 00:22:18,889 And... 209 00:22:20,894 --> 00:22:24,150 ...it's time to turn yourself in. 210 00:22:24,234 --> 00:22:27,056 Call the police and turn yourself in. 211 00:22:27,140 --> 00:22:31,031 I now know, apart from anything having to do with me, 212 00:22:31,115 --> 00:22:34,220 this is the only way for you. 213 00:22:36,959 --> 00:22:39,464 Our therapy is over. 214 00:22:40,233 --> 00:22:42,186 You need to make a choice. 215 00:22:42,270 --> 00:22:44,724 I'm making one, and you have to make one, too. 216 00:22:44,808 --> 00:22:48,832 My choice is that I am not doing therapy with you anymore. 217 00:22:48,916 --> 00:22:53,910 Your choice... You can turn yourself in, 218 00:22:53,994 --> 00:22:57,934 or you can end this the other way. 219 00:23:00,907 --> 00:23:03,863 I don't want to do that. 220 00:23:03,947 --> 00:23:05,132 Either one. 221 00:23:05,216 --> 00:23:08,305 I know. But it's time. 222 00:23:08,389 --> 00:23:12,597 And I'm not going to live down here like a pet. 223 00:25:31,775 --> 00:25:33,745 Thank you. 224 00:25:38,189 --> 00:25:39,874 I know you want to go home... 225 00:25:39,958 --> 00:25:44,884 but... he's not ready. 226 00:25:44,968 --> 00:25:47,306 He's not. 227 00:25:49,044 --> 00:25:51,615 Candace, this needs to end now. 228 00:25:52,383 --> 00:25:56,491 No matter what happens, we can't leave anything unsaid. 229 00:25:58,595 --> 00:26:01,484 This is going to be hard to hear, 230 00:26:01,568 --> 00:26:03,822 and I want you to know that I am saying it 231 00:26:03,906 --> 00:26:05,492 not just in my best interests, 232 00:26:05,576 --> 00:26:08,248 but in yours and Sam's as well. 233 00:26:10,052 --> 00:26:14,677 When he was a boy and his father was abusing him, 234 00:26:14,761 --> 00:26:18,101 you didn't take any steps to stop it. 235 00:26:18,936 --> 00:26:22,693 You didn't leave or get help. 236 00:26:22,777 --> 00:26:26,251 It wasn't your fault, you didn't know what to do. 237 00:26:27,053 --> 00:26:30,259 But you did not protect him. 238 00:26:32,864 --> 00:26:36,404 You did not protect your son. 239 00:26:51,435 --> 00:26:53,355 - Ah! What are you doing? - Sam! Sam?! 240 00:26:53,439 --> 00:26:55,358 Ow, ow! Stop. What are you doing, Dr. Strauss? 241 00:26:55,442 --> 00:26:57,530 Sam, come downstairs right now! Stop! 242 00:26:57,614 --> 00:27:00,069 I am sorry to be in this position. 243 00:27:00,153 --> 00:27:02,273 I don't want to be doing this. 244 00:27:02,357 --> 00:27:04,110 I care about you, Sam, I really do. 245 00:27:04,194 --> 00:27:05,981 But... No, no! Stop! 246 00:27:06,065 --> 00:27:08,151 But I will kill her if you don't call the police. 247 00:27:08,235 --> 00:27:09,554 Sam, I... 248 00:27:09,638 --> 00:27:11,124 Do it, Sam, 249 00:27:11,208 --> 00:27:12,526 - or I will cut her throat. - Sam, please. 250 00:27:12,610 --> 00:27:14,397 - Dr. Strauss, you... - I don't want to. 251 00:27:14,481 --> 00:27:16,767 I don't want to, Sam. What I want is for you to call 911, 252 00:27:16,851 --> 00:27:20,075 and turn yourself in, you have to. Turn yourself in! 253 00:27:20,159 --> 00:27:21,411 - Or I will do it! - He's just bluffing, Mom. 254 00:27:21,495 --> 00:27:22,948 All he wants to do is get out of here. 255 00:27:23,032 --> 00:27:24,617 I am not, Sam. Call 911! 256 00:27:24,701 --> 00:27:26,388 I-I don't... I don't believe you... 257 00:27:26,472 --> 00:27:28,025 I am not bluffing, Sam! 258 00:27:28,109 --> 00:27:29,661 I am going to kill her. 259 00:27:29,745 --> 00:27:32,132 You said we shouldn't interrupt each other down here! 260 00:27:32,216 --> 00:27:35,422 Goddamn it, we let each other finish! 261 00:27:39,898 --> 00:27:42,753 You... you said I was getting better. 262 00:27:42,837 --> 00:27:45,259 You... I believed you. 263 00:27:45,343 --> 00:27:47,129 I told you last night. You cannot get better 264 00:27:47,213 --> 00:27:49,935 unless you are stopped from acting out your compulsions. 265 00:27:50,019 --> 00:27:52,506 That is the only way out for you. 266 00:27:52,590 --> 00:27:55,362 This is the only way out for me. 267 00:27:58,936 --> 00:28:00,991 Make your choice. 268 00:28:01,075 --> 00:28:03,662 I don't want to. 269 00:28:03,746 --> 00:28:08,188 Then your mother's going to die. And you'll kill me. 270 00:28:10,592 --> 00:28:13,598 I don't think you're the kind of man that can even do it. 271 00:28:45,529 --> 00:28:46,848 Alan? 272 00:28:48,368 --> 00:28:49,486 Alan? 273 00:28:51,441 --> 00:28:52,492 Are you okay? 274 00:28:52,576 --> 00:28:54,931 Just a bad dream. 275 00:28:59,257 --> 00:29:03,365 About when you were... away? 276 00:29:04,268 --> 00:29:05,686 Not exactly. 277 00:29:05,770 --> 00:29:08,241 Then what was it? 278 00:29:09,510 --> 00:29:12,466 I'll tell you in about ten years. 279 00:29:12,550 --> 00:29:14,636 Keep your stuff together, here we go. 280 00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:17,660 Everyone, let's go. It's dinnertime. 281 00:29:29,384 --> 00:29:30,735 I'm just saying, I don't know 282 00:29:30,819 --> 00:29:32,239 how Shmuel ended up being the coach. 283 00:29:32,323 --> 00:29:33,508 Shush. Dov likes him. 284 00:29:33,592 --> 00:29:35,245 You can't shield him from the truth. 285 00:29:35,329 --> 00:29:36,814 I'm not so sure about that. 286 00:29:36,898 --> 00:29:37,984 Coach Shmuel was captain 287 00:29:38,068 --> 00:29:39,286 of the intermural baseball team 288 00:29:39,370 --> 00:29:40,990 - at UMass. - Yes, we know. 289 00:29:41,074 --> 00:29:42,793 We all know. That's my point. 290 00:29:46,284 --> 00:29:47,620 Thank you. 291 00:31:03,005 --> 00:31:07,363 Stop! Stop! Stop! Don't! 292 00:31:07,447 --> 00:31:10,168 Don't, Sam! 293 00:31:10,252 --> 00:31:13,074 Stop! Stop! Stop! 294 00:31:13,158 --> 00:31:17,082 No! No... 295 00:31:17,166 --> 00:31:20,505 No, no, no... 296 00:31:23,045 --> 00:31:25,782 Oh, Sam. 297 00:35:54,753 --> 00:35:57,675 "Dear children of Dr. Strauss, 298 00:35:57,759 --> 00:35:59,880 "I am writing to let you know the bad news 299 00:35:59,964 --> 00:36:02,386 "that your dad is dead. 300 00:36:02,470 --> 00:36:04,690 "He helped me a lot. 301 00:36:04,774 --> 00:36:08,464 "I know from him it's important for you Jews to have a body 302 00:36:08,548 --> 00:36:12,239 "when someone dies, so I put it where you can find it. 303 00:36:12,323 --> 00:36:15,678 "It's ten yards back in the trees 304 00:36:15,762 --> 00:36:19,954 "by the northwest entrance to Finch Ridge Preserve. 305 00:36:20,038 --> 00:36:23,978 I am enclosing a letter he left for you." 306 00:36:25,916 --> 00:36:28,738 "Dear Shoshana and Ezra, 307 00:36:28,822 --> 00:36:31,961 "I love you both so much. 308 00:36:33,465 --> 00:36:37,356 "I'm sorry this happened to you, and I'm sorry it happened to me. 309 00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:40,862 "But here we are. 310 00:36:40,946 --> 00:36:44,236 "I want you to know I haven't suffered. 311 00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:47,342 "And I've had a lot of time to think. 312 00:36:47,426 --> 00:36:50,615 "You know I like to do that. 313 00:36:50,699 --> 00:36:55,024 "The two of you gave my life, and your mother's life, meaning. 314 00:36:55,108 --> 00:36:57,129 "All parents love their children, 315 00:36:57,213 --> 00:37:00,502 "but no one loved their kids more than we did. 316 00:37:00,586 --> 00:37:05,111 "You are extraordinary people. 317 00:37:05,195 --> 00:37:07,950 "I want you both to go forward without my death 318 00:37:08,034 --> 00:37:10,622 "defining your lives. 319 00:37:10,706 --> 00:37:14,697 "I also want to make sure that some of the conflicts we had 320 00:37:14,781 --> 00:37:19,189 "don't define how you remember our relationships either. 321 00:37:20,726 --> 00:37:25,151 "Shoshana, you and I and your mother had our issues, 322 00:37:25,235 --> 00:37:30,461 "but mostly it has been easy and full of caring. 323 00:37:30,545 --> 00:37:34,269 "I thank you for that gift. 324 00:37:34,353 --> 00:37:38,444 "You are the brightest, most extraordinary young woman 325 00:37:38,528 --> 00:37:40,415 "I can imagine. 326 00:37:40,499 --> 00:37:44,322 "In these dark times, I have thought about you 327 00:37:44,406 --> 00:37:46,962 "and your beautiful family constantly, 328 00:37:47,046 --> 00:37:53,057 "and it has given me joy, pride and solace. 329 00:37:54,961 --> 00:37:57,248 "Ezra, my dear son, 330 00:37:57,332 --> 00:38:01,390 "you are a bright light in this world. 331 00:38:01,474 --> 00:38:06,300 "We both know it hasn't been such smooth sailing between us. 332 00:38:06,384 --> 00:38:08,438 "And your mother. 333 00:38:08,522 --> 00:38:10,842 "I have spent a lot of time thinking back on everything 334 00:38:10,926 --> 00:38:14,449 "that happened, and I see things now 335 00:38:14,533 --> 00:38:18,424 "that I was unable to grasp when they were happening. 336 00:38:18,508 --> 00:38:22,232 "I want you to know that I understand now 337 00:38:22,316 --> 00:38:25,071 "everything you said to me. 338 00:38:25,155 --> 00:38:27,743 "You were right. Mostly. 339 00:38:27,827 --> 00:38:33,087 "I was judgmental, I didn't accept you for who you were, 340 00:38:33,171 --> 00:38:36,126 "and worst of all, I allowed your mother 341 00:38:36,210 --> 00:38:37,629 "to take the blame for this, 342 00:38:37,713 --> 00:38:42,372 "when I was as much at fault as anyone. 343 00:38:42,456 --> 00:38:44,259 "More. 344 00:38:45,762 --> 00:38:51,540 "I want you to know that I see this and I'm sorry. 345 00:38:53,144 --> 00:38:55,331 "Through it all, I always loved you. 346 00:38:55,415 --> 00:38:58,137 "And I want you to know how very much 347 00:38:58,221 --> 00:39:02,345 "I respect who you are and the choices you've made. 348 00:39:02,429 --> 00:39:07,222 "You've built a beautiful family and a beautiful life. 349 00:39:07,306 --> 00:39:12,499 You are a special and truly wonderful person." 350 00:39:20,932 --> 00:39:23,454 A little meshuggener, maybe. 351 00:40:11,500 --> 00:40:14,189 I think I really changed. 352 00:40:14,273 --> 00:40:16,911 The therapy worked. 353 00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:19,650 I'm not going to do it again. 354 00:40:21,654 --> 00:40:26,197 I am never going to hurt anyone again. 355 00:40:29,003 --> 00:40:31,289 That's not true. 356 00:40:31,373 --> 00:40:34,496 You're going to do it again. 357 00:40:34,580 --> 00:40:37,185 We both know it. 358 00:41:01,467 --> 00:41:05,141 Mom! Can you come down here?! 359 00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:55,578 Did you know him? 360 00:42:55,662 --> 00:42:57,549 Not personally. 361 00:42:57,633 --> 00:43:00,288 I have colleagues who were students of his. 362 00:43:00,372 --> 00:43:02,392 And I read his book. 363 00:43:02,476 --> 00:43:05,214 You know, I never read it. 364 00:43:06,283 --> 00:43:09,339 I don't even have a copy. 365 00:43:09,423 --> 00:43:12,078 Although, I think I'm about to inherit 366 00:43:12,162 --> 00:43:14,416 like three boxes of them. 367 00:43:14,500 --> 00:43:18,691 I think one of the sections is on parenting. 368 00:43:18,775 --> 00:43:20,794 Huh. 369 00:43:20,878 --> 00:43:23,284 I guess I should read it. 370 00:43:26,391 --> 00:43:28,694 So, how are you getting along? 371 00:43:32,102 --> 00:43:35,141 What happened was... 372 00:43:42,456 --> 00:43:45,913 I'm just worried for my kids. 373 00:43:45,997 --> 00:43:49,019 And my wife. 374 00:43:49,103 --> 00:43:51,440 And my sister. 375 00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:56,483 What about you? 376 00:43:58,321 --> 00:44:01,794 It's been hard, but I'm okay. 377 00:44:07,172 --> 00:44:10,878 Do you want to tell me a little more about yourself, Ezra? 378 00:44:12,449 --> 00:44:17,008 I'm... I'm not sure where to start. 379 00:44:17,092 --> 00:44:19,863 Really anywhere's okay. 380 00:44:37,933 --> 00:44:40,204 I... 381 00:44:41,540 --> 00:44:44,846 "You Want It Darker" by Leonard Cohen plays... 382 00:44:56,904 --> 00:45:01,296 ♪ ♪ If you are the dealer, I'm out of the game ♪ 383 00:45:01,380 --> 00:45:05,872 ♪ ♪ If you are the healer, it means I'm broker than lame ♪ 384 00:45:05,956 --> 00:45:10,983 ♪ ♪ If thine is the glory, then mine must be the shame ♪ 385 00:45:11,067 --> 00:45:13,554 ♪ You want it darker ♪♪ 386 00:45:13,638 --> 00:45:16,677 ♪ We kill the flame ♪♪ 387 00:45:23,290 --> 00:45:26,112 ♪ Magnified, sanctified ♪♪ 388 00:45:26,196 --> 00:45:28,150 ♪ Be the holy name ♪♪ 389 00:45:28,234 --> 00:45:30,455 ♪ Vilified, crucified ♪♪ 390 00:45:30,539 --> 00:45:32,792 ♪ In the human frame ♪♪ 391 00:45:32,876 --> 00:45:34,462 ♪ A million candles burning ♪♪ 392 00:45:34,546 --> 00:45:37,168 ♪ For the help that never came ♪♪ 393 00:45:37,252 --> 00:45:39,790 ♪ You want it darker ♪♪ 394 00:45:45,335 --> 00:45:48,558 ♪ Hineni, hineni ♪♪ 395 00:45:48,642 --> 00:45:50,678 ♪ I'm ready, my Lord ♪♪ 396 00:45:59,329 --> 00:46:02,752 Vvocalizing... 397 00:46:21,807 --> 00:46:23,978 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 27488

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