Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,732 --> 00:00:09,657
What's up, guys?
It's Kelly and Shrub, okay?
2
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:12,236
There's a heat wave going on in
Flatch, and it's hot as balls.
3
00:00:12,238 --> 00:00:13,587
Okay? Literal fire balls.
4
00:00:13,739 --> 00:00:16,850
So we decided to do
a little science experiment.
5
00:00:16,875 --> 00:00:19,018
Harnessing the power of the sun, son!
6
00:00:19,094 --> 00:00:21,912
Do not try this at home.
7
00:00:21,930 --> 00:00:23,338
That was for the lawyers.
8
00:00:23,415 --> 00:00:25,249
- [SIZZLING]
- Oh, Kelly, Kelly!
9
00:00:25,251 --> 00:00:26,334
[BOTH SCREAMING, FIREWORK WHISTLES]
10
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:27,578
[LAUGHING] Oh, dude!
11
00:00:27,603 --> 00:00:29,253
- [FIREWORK EXPLODES]
- [LAUGHING] Oh, my God.
12
00:00:29,271 --> 00:00:31,846
I said science rules!
13
00:00:31,924 --> 00:00:33,106
Okay, that is amazing.
14
00:00:33,259 --> 00:00:34,742
Let me see, let me see, let me see.
15
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,353
- The heat killed my phone.
- No!
16
00:00:38,430 --> 00:00:42,524
- Dude, that was the best one!
- I know, okay?
17
00:00:42,601 --> 00:00:45,544
[SOFT CRACKLING] Do you smell smoke?
18
00:00:45,695 --> 00:00:47,104
Go, go.
19
00:00:47,122 --> 00:00:49,239
Mom! Mom, wake up!
20
00:00:49,275 --> 00:00:50,716
Get out of the house!
21
00:00:50,867 --> 00:00:53,719
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
22
00:00:53,796 --> 00:00:56,613
[LAUGHTER]
23
00:00:56,632 --> 00:00:58,724
So, ever since Barb
kicked Shrub out Nan's house,
24
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,726
he's been crashing with me.
25
00:01:00,877 --> 00:01:03,062
[WHISPERING] I thought being
roommates would be a blast,
26
00:01:03,115 --> 00:01:04,598
but it is not.
27
00:01:04,623 --> 00:01:08,216
[LAUGHING] Hey, Kelly, Kelly,
look, look, look, look.
28
00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:11,052
Oh, I pea'd my pants!
29
00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:12,796
[LAUGHS, NORMAL VOICE] Classic.
30
00:01:12,815 --> 00:01:13,847
[LAUGHS] Right?
31
00:01:13,924 --> 00:01:16,658
Normally, I'd punch him,
but he's so sensitive right now.
32
00:01:18,267 --> 00:01:20,434
I'm trying to be there
for the kid, but...
33
00:01:20,656 --> 00:01:21,949
Shrub, Shrub!
34
00:01:21,974 --> 00:01:23,231
They're about to score! No!
35
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:26,476
He's not making it easy. Let's say that.
36
00:01:26,495 --> 00:01:28,087
[IMITATING SCHWARZENEGGER]
Get to the chopper!
37
00:01:28,238 --> 00:01:30,071
- [SCHWARZENEGGER-ESQUE GRUNT]
- [LAUGHS]
38
00:01:30,149 --> 00:01:32,716
- Shrub!
- What?
39
00:01:35,321 --> 00:01:36,987
- Um, Aunt Tina wants you to...
- Yeah, Shrub.
40
00:01:37,005 --> 00:01:39,323
Thanks so much. I have ears.
41
00:01:39,325 --> 00:01:41,725
[SIGHS] It's so unfair.
42
00:01:41,750 --> 00:01:43,660
Mom's giving me the silent treatment.
43
00:01:43,679 --> 00:01:46,053
It's not my fault my dad's
getting remarried, okay?
44
00:01:46,078 --> 00:01:48,066
Like, I'm just the one that told her.
45
00:01:48,091 --> 00:01:49,437
It's like,
have you ever heard the phrase
46
00:01:49,462 --> 00:01:50,569
"don't shoot the messenger"?
47
00:01:50,594 --> 00:01:53,186
'Cause, obviously, my mom has not.
48
00:01:53,339 --> 00:01:55,287
[WHISPERING] Kelly won't admit it,
49
00:01:55,312 --> 00:01:57,023
but, you know, she's also very upset
50
00:01:57,176 --> 00:01:59,767
Uncle Bobby's
getting remarried, obviously.
51
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:03,847
So good thing that I'm here.
52
00:02:03,866 --> 00:02:06,458
Kid needs me. [CHUCKLES]
53
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,943
My new property's
keeping me booked and busy,
54
00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,963
but I can't just focus on the flip.
55
00:02:11,039 --> 00:02:13,523
A proactive realtor
is a successful realtor.
56
00:02:13,542 --> 00:02:16,209
Got to keep drumming up future business.
57
00:02:16,362 --> 00:02:18,953
Got my special
"sassy sales gal" hair on.
58
00:02:19,031 --> 00:02:20,514
And...
59
00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:24,726
Passing out these
water bottles around town.
60
00:02:26,054 --> 00:02:28,230
Trying to keep people hydrated and
61
00:02:28,254 --> 00:02:30,390
let 'em know that Barb Flatch is back.
62
00:02:30,542 --> 00:02:34,240
I might be on my own now,
but I'm single and ready to shingle.
63
00:02:34,265 --> 00:02:35,837
[CLICKS TONGUE, CHUCKLES]
64
00:02:35,914 --> 00:02:39,216
Ah, it's a realtor joke.
65
00:02:39,218 --> 00:02:41,176
Stay cool, and, remember, Barb Flatch
66
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,220
is here for all your real estate needs.
67
00:02:43,222 --> 00:02:44,812
Who's under here?
68
00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:48,074
Oh, just somebody whose back
I had to shave every other day.
69
00:02:48,227 --> 00:02:49,817
No, no, no, no, no. Just leave it.
70
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,895
Ooh, he's handsome.
71
00:02:51,897 --> 00:02:53,914
Yeah, he knows.
72
00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:55,823
[CHICKENS CLUCKING]
73
00:02:55,918 --> 00:02:57,250
Thank you, Mandy.
74
00:02:57,327 --> 00:03:00,904
You're the only person I knew
who'd have a 50-foot extension cord.
75
00:03:00,923 --> 00:03:02,810
I stay prepared.
76
00:03:02,835 --> 00:03:05,575
In the words of the universe's
greatest girl group,
77
00:03:05,594 --> 00:03:07,744
Destiny's Child,
78
00:03:07,763 --> 00:03:09,170
I'm a survivor.
79
00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:13,083
I'm not a survivalist.
Those people are nuts.
80
00:03:13,085 --> 00:03:15,861
Although I do maintain a small bunker
that has enough smoked deer meat
81
00:03:16,012 --> 00:03:17,270
to last two decades.
82
00:03:17,416 --> 00:03:21,418
And, no, I will not tell you
where it is.
83
00:03:21,443 --> 00:03:25,370
Joe and I have been pretty focused
on our homesteading activities...
84
00:03:25,447 --> 00:03:27,280
maybe a little too focused.
85
00:03:27,357 --> 00:03:28,690
We need to make time for each other,
86
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:32,602
reclaim that romance,
so we're going on a date night.
87
00:03:32,604 --> 00:03:36,215
Dinner at China Wok!
We got to get out of the house.
88
00:03:36,291 --> 00:03:38,550
Yeah, it's my first time away
from the babies,
89
00:03:38,627 --> 00:03:40,110
so I'm just, um...
90
00:03:40,112 --> 00:03:41,915
I want to make sure
they're okay in this heat.
91
00:03:41,940 --> 00:03:43,273
Tell me about it.
92
00:03:43,298 --> 00:03:46,783
I have been worried sick
about my new fall pumpkin brew.
93
00:03:46,785 --> 00:03:48,894
I'm gonna bring it inside
just so I can sleep at night.
94
00:03:49,045 --> 00:03:50,287
Why? What does heat do to beer?
95
00:03:50,289 --> 00:03:52,850
Two words... bottle bombs.
96
00:03:52,875 --> 00:03:55,021
With enough heat,
each one of these bottles
97
00:03:55,046 --> 00:03:57,385
has the potential to turn
into a flying glass grenade.
98
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,721
Yeah, you should get those inside.
99
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:00,902
[GLASS CLINKS LOUDLY]
100
00:04:00,927 --> 00:04:02,276
Hey, jee... Okay.
101
00:04:02,301 --> 00:04:03,633
Wow. [CHUCKLES]
102
00:04:03,652 --> 00:04:07,153
You know, this might be
the best idea I've ever had.
103
00:04:07,306 --> 00:04:09,306
No one's doing
a gender-reveal ice cream cake.
104
00:04:09,324 --> 00:04:12,850
And it's chic, it's unexpected,
and it's weather-appropriate.
105
00:04:12,875 --> 00:04:14,678
I'll be happy if it's a boy or a girl.
106
00:04:14,703 --> 00:04:16,070
What we really need
is a cake that tells us
107
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:17,998
if it's a Bengals fan or a Browns fan.
108
00:04:18,023 --> 00:04:19,263
[LAUGHTER]
109
00:04:19,611 --> 00:04:20,794
You could just say,
110
00:04:20,819 --> 00:04:23,095
"Thank you for planning
the entire party, Nadine."
111
00:04:23,171 --> 00:04:24,988
Well, if it was up to me,
112
00:04:25,007 --> 00:04:27,099
we'd keep the baby's gender a surprise
113
00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:28,416
till we meet it at the hospital.
114
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:31,011
[LAUGHING] Well,
it's not up to you, thank gosh.
115
00:04:31,087 --> 00:04:33,689
[INSECTS CHIRPING]
116
00:04:36,404 --> 00:04:39,068
- Is that my towel?
- No.
117
00:04:39,093 --> 00:04:41,310
Yes, it is. That's my favorite towel,
118
00:04:41,335 --> 00:04:42,764
'cause I took it
from Wacky Water Wet World,
119
00:04:42,789 --> 00:04:44,209
- and they charged me 20 bucks.
- No, dude!
120
00:04:44,234 --> 00:04:46,521
Harassment, harassment!
Dude, I'm naked under here!
121
00:04:46,546 --> 00:04:48,345
Ew! Your bare ass is touching my towel?
122
00:04:48,363 --> 00:04:50,889
Well, how else am I supposed
to absorb the butt sweat?
123
00:04:50,914 --> 00:04:52,230
- You're disgusting, okay?
- Don't.
124
00:04:52,249 --> 00:04:53,915
No wonder Nan fled the country, huh?
125
00:04:53,992 --> 00:04:56,068
No, Nan loved living with me,
and you know that!
126
00:04:56,070 --> 00:04:57,845
I was the only one allowed
to pluck her chin hairs.
127
00:04:57,996 --> 00:05:00,681
Don't you get one more step near me!
128
00:05:00,683 --> 00:05:02,349
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
129
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:05,577
[ELECTRICITY THRUMS, CLACKING]
130
00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:09,081
Please tell me the towel did not drop.
131
00:05:09,083 --> 00:05:10,749
I think you know the answer
to that question.
132
00:05:10,767 --> 00:05:12,584
Ugh! We cannot come back from this!
133
00:05:12,586 --> 00:05:13,694
Oh, no!
134
00:05:17,349 --> 00:05:20,158
[INSECTS CHIRPING]
135
00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:25,700
Mm, so the church is the
only place in town with power,
136
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:27,766
but before we go, we have to
eat everything from the freezer
137
00:05:27,784 --> 00:05:29,434
before it thaws and goes bad.
138
00:05:29,436 --> 00:05:30,769
Mm-hmm.
139
00:05:30,771 --> 00:05:32,454
This one didn't have a label on it,
140
00:05:32,548 --> 00:05:34,272
so Shrub and I made bets
on what's inside.
141
00:05:34,366 --> 00:05:37,459
I guessed spaghetti sauce and
Shrub guessed a taco casserole.
142
00:05:37,484 --> 00:05:38,604
Mm-hmm.
143
00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:40,554
We tried it. [DRUMS ON TABLE]
144
00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:42,205
It is definitely neither of them, so...
145
00:05:42,224 --> 00:05:45,617
Mmm, yeah, Gordon Ramsay
would definitely spit this out.
146
00:05:45,619 --> 00:05:48,395
But Gordon Shrub-say
will be having seconds.
147
00:05:48,472 --> 00:05:49,621
[CHUCKLING] Um...
148
00:05:49,623 --> 00:05:51,273
What?
149
00:05:52,643 --> 00:05:55,627
- [CHUCKLES]
- Uh, Kelly ate it!
150
00:05:55,687 --> 00:05:56,886
Dude, what the hell?
151
00:05:56,911 --> 00:05:58,698
Dude, who cares?
She's already mad at you.
152
00:05:58,723 --> 00:06:02,467
[INSECTS CHIRPING]
153
00:06:02,486 --> 00:06:04,560
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
154
00:06:04,638 --> 00:06:07,247
All right, people, listen up.
155
00:06:07,324 --> 00:06:10,642
You need to plug in anything...
156
00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:13,903
use this power strip,
this power strip only.
157
00:06:13,905 --> 00:06:17,591
Anything else'll blow out the generator.
158
00:06:17,742 --> 00:06:19,575
First thing I did day one
as Joe's assistant
159
00:06:19,653 --> 00:06:21,911
was make sure the genny was operational.
160
00:06:21,931 --> 00:06:25,432
The second thing I did
was mess around on the organ.
161
00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:27,636
I always wanted to do that.
162
00:06:27,661 --> 00:06:28,918
I need to charge my Kindle.
163
00:06:29,047 --> 00:06:30,730
And I need to trim my beard.
164
00:06:30,755 --> 00:06:32,439
Nobody cares what you look like, Len.
165
00:06:32,590 --> 00:06:35,070
Did your fancy robot book tell you that?
166
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,146
Hey, hey, hey, hey. No, no!
167
00:06:37,171 --> 00:06:39,429
We are not doing
"Lord of the Flies" here.
168
00:06:39,448 --> 00:06:41,506
And there's people in front of you!
169
00:06:41,508 --> 00:06:43,341
So take a number!
170
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,020
- Get out of here.
- [CACKLES]
171
00:06:45,045 --> 00:06:48,196
So my mom refused to come,
which is a huge mistake,
172
00:06:48,273 --> 00:06:50,865
'cause when it comes to
everything-is-thawing potlucks,
173
00:06:50,942 --> 00:06:53,185
Flatch understands the assignment.
174
00:06:53,187 --> 00:06:54,444
Look what we have.
175
00:06:54,463 --> 00:06:56,612
Lasagna, mmm,
176
00:06:56,632 --> 00:06:58,465
lasagna as well,
177
00:06:58,616 --> 00:07:00,616
this is probably a fancy soup or...
178
00:07:00,636 --> 00:07:02,452
[SHRUB GASPS] No, that is lasagna.
179
00:07:02,471 --> 00:07:03,862
Kelly, look!
180
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,214
- June's buffalo chicken dip!
- Buffalo chicken dip!
181
00:07:06,366 --> 00:07:09,034
- Save some for the rest of us!
- Get your own, dude!
182
00:07:09,036 --> 00:07:10,869
Pretty much the entire town is here,
183
00:07:10,871 --> 00:07:13,963
which means more competition
for the macaroni salad.
184
00:07:14,057 --> 00:07:16,149
[WHISPERING] But it also means
there has to be someone here
185
00:07:16,226 --> 00:07:18,193
I can pawn Shrub off on.
186
00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:22,638
Okay, Chantal's in the baby room.
187
00:07:22,658 --> 00:07:24,157
W-why isn't the cake in the freezer?
188
00:07:24,234 --> 00:07:25,567
Because June did that.
189
00:07:25,643 --> 00:07:28,053
Freezer's reserved.
Essential items only.
190
00:07:28,071 --> 00:07:31,389
Well, the cake is essential.
It's for our gender reveal.
191
00:07:31,391 --> 00:07:33,575
If it melts, we'll see if the
M&M's inside are pink or blue,
192
00:07:33,727 --> 00:07:35,985
and it'll ruin the surprise three
days before the party, so...
193
00:07:36,079 --> 00:07:38,396
- [POPS LIPS] Let's go.
- Try and move me.
194
00:07:38,415 --> 00:07:39,581
Go ahead.
195
00:07:39,733 --> 00:07:41,900
Oh, I protested a lot in the '70s.
196
00:07:41,902 --> 00:07:44,069
The forced wearing of seat belts,
197
00:07:44,071 --> 00:07:45,495
the Sears Tower,
198
00:07:45,572 --> 00:07:48,573
Evel Knievel's Snake River "jump."
199
00:07:48,592 --> 00:07:50,742
When they canceled "That's Incredible!"
200
00:07:50,761 --> 00:07:52,678
Should we just cut it now?
Get this over with?
201
00:07:52,703 --> 00:07:55,080
No, no, Dylan, I don't want
to get this over with, okay?
202
00:07:55,098 --> 00:07:57,858
I want to have the party
that I spent a month planning.
203
00:07:58,009 --> 00:08:02,988
[SIGHS] But since the $200 cake
I bought is melting...
204
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:12,355
I guess we'll just celebrate right now.
205
00:08:12,432 --> 00:08:14,690
So I guess I'm gonna run home
and grab all the party supplies?
206
00:08:14,692 --> 00:08:17,193
Oh, babe, I would love that
so much... I love you.
207
00:08:17,271 --> 00:08:19,954
[SIGHS]
208
00:08:20,107 --> 00:08:22,865
Most of these people weren't
invited in the first place.
209
00:08:22,885 --> 00:08:26,053
I even picked a weekend I knew
Len would be out of town.
210
00:08:29,283 --> 00:08:30,557
[GASPS]
211
00:08:30,582 --> 00:08:32,685
Well, a blackout means no China Wok,
212
00:08:32,710 --> 00:08:35,637
so instead,
we are hanging at the church.
213
00:08:35,789 --> 00:08:37,064
All of us. [CHICKENS CLUCKING]
214
00:08:37,140 --> 00:08:40,400
All right, your chickens
should be okay in here.
215
00:08:40,477 --> 00:08:43,622
Just keep 'em away from my dogs,
'cause chickens freak them out.
216
00:08:43,647 --> 00:08:44,796
Your dogs are here?
217
00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:47,482
You brought a whole-ass farm here
and you surprised I brought my dogs?
218
00:08:47,576 --> 00:08:49,357
No, I'm just surprised
219
00:08:49,382 --> 00:08:51,787
you didn't put 'em
at a four-star hotel in Dayton.
220
00:08:51,896 --> 00:08:54,063
You know what? You get me.
[GLASS CLINKING]
221
00:08:54,083 --> 00:08:55,974
I'm gonna let everyone
try my pumpkin ale
222
00:08:55,992 --> 00:08:57,976
before the heat makes it go bad.
223
00:08:57,994 --> 00:08:59,144
Mandy, you want a taste?
224
00:08:59,237 --> 00:09:01,646
No, I'm not drinking.
I got to stay alert.
225
00:09:01,648 --> 00:09:02,923
Got to watch out for assassins.
226
00:09:02,999 --> 00:09:06,592
Actually, I'd love a beer,
but I heard Joe's beer
227
00:09:06,617 --> 00:09:08,987
is less beer and more lighter fluid.
228
00:09:08,989 --> 00:09:11,656
That being said,
assassins are always a concern.
229
00:09:11,675 --> 00:09:14,757
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
230
00:09:14,782 --> 00:09:15,856
See?
231
00:09:15,881 --> 00:09:17,306
Blackouts are not ideal,
232
00:09:17,331 --> 00:09:19,940
but what a great way
to re-meet my hometown.
233
00:09:20,091 --> 00:09:22,225
I mean, you guys don't really
know me that well yet,
234
00:09:22,250 --> 00:09:24,336
but I am excellent at a party...
235
00:09:24,338 --> 00:09:25,837
Guesting, hosting.
236
00:09:25,856 --> 00:09:27,522
Barb C. Flatch knows how
to bring the fun
237
00:09:27,599 --> 00:09:29,116
in more ways than one.
238
00:09:29,267 --> 00:09:31,100
[COOLER THUDS]
239
00:09:31,178 --> 00:09:32,510
This is my go bag.
240
00:09:32,604 --> 00:09:34,195
Bert used to do all the heavy lifting...
241
00:09:34,348 --> 00:09:35,771
Like, the literal lifting.
242
00:09:35,849 --> 00:09:37,958
I was the only one
doing the emotional labor
243
00:09:38,034 --> 00:09:40,127
in that relationship,
I can promise you that.
244
00:09:40,203 --> 00:09:41,703
Um...
245
00:09:41,779 --> 00:09:44,464
now it's, you know, all on me,
246
00:09:44,616 --> 00:09:46,524
which is... which is fine,
because it's just...
247
00:09:46,543 --> 00:09:48,710
I'm gonna get really ripped. [CHUCKLES]
248
00:09:48,862 --> 00:09:51,763
It's time for a Barb-a-ritas! [CHUCKLES]
249
00:09:54,643 --> 00:09:57,035
Living with Shrub's not going so great?
250
00:09:57,037 --> 00:10:00,038
[CHUCKLES] What? No. It's incredible.
251
00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:03,299
Unrelated... what is the word
on your baby's nursery?
252
00:10:03,318 --> 00:10:04,559
Any chance you need a grown man
253
00:10:04,711 --> 00:10:06,561
to break in the crib
for a couple months?
254
00:10:06,655 --> 00:10:08,822
No, I-I think we're good. [BOTH CHUCKLE]
255
00:10:08,973 --> 00:10:11,216
I'm actually glad the
gender reveal is happening now.
256
00:10:11,234 --> 00:10:13,493
Nadine was ruthless
with the original guest list,
257
00:10:13,645 --> 00:10:15,553
but this way,
I get to have a friend here.
258
00:10:15,555 --> 00:10:16,830
Yeah, me too.
259
00:10:16,981 --> 00:10:19,666
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
I had a system here, Barb.
260
00:10:20,276 --> 00:10:21,592
You jumping the line.
261
00:10:21,617 --> 00:10:23,061
Everyone okayed it
when they heard my motto.
262
00:10:23,154 --> 00:10:25,563
"When life gives you lemons,
make margaritas."
263
00:10:25,582 --> 00:10:27,565
Great motto. Stealing that.
264
00:10:27,584 --> 00:10:29,509
Here's the ice!
265
00:10:29,661 --> 00:10:32,570
This is how you using our ice reserves?
266
00:10:32,572 --> 00:10:34,347
She even brought salt for the rim.
267
00:10:34,499 --> 00:10:35,740
Come on, Mandy.
268
00:10:35,759 --> 00:10:37,500
Let your hair down and your boobs out.
269
00:10:37,519 --> 00:10:39,335
- Live a little, woman.
- Hey, hey.
270
00:10:39,413 --> 00:10:43,264
Since we're in the church,
could we all agree to keep our boobs in?
271
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,727
Aw, party pooper.
272
00:10:45,752 --> 00:10:47,176
Look, trust me.
273
00:10:47,196 --> 00:10:50,088
I don't mind getting loose,
but right now I'm trying to stay alive
274
00:10:50,106 --> 00:10:52,607
and keep the rest of you alive,
too, so take a number.
275
00:10:52,759 --> 00:10:54,609
Eh, it's good to see
some things never change.
276
00:10:54,761 --> 00:10:56,852
Little Mandy still thinks
she knows best.
277
00:10:56,854 --> 00:10:59,029
And famous Barbie Flatch still think
278
00:10:59,054 --> 00:11:00,598
she can do whatever the hell she wants.
279
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,692
Blackout fight! Happens every time.
280
00:11:02,769 --> 00:11:05,378
- Good luck, ladies.
- Oh, no!
281
00:11:05,455 --> 00:11:07,196
- What happened?
- I don't know.
282
00:11:07,221 --> 00:11:08,553
We were talking about my chickens
283
00:11:08,578 --> 00:11:11,551
and then I asked if he'd ever had a pet.
284
00:11:11,628 --> 00:11:16,320
Jojo. He's still in the freezer.
285
00:11:19,597 --> 00:11:21,263
- [BLENDER WHIRRING]
- See, people?
286
00:11:21,288 --> 00:11:23,063
This is what I'm talking about.
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
287
00:11:23,065 --> 00:11:25,974
So Nan gave me Jojo
for my tenth birthday,
288
00:11:26,050 --> 00:11:28,476
and after he died,
I put him in the freezer
289
00:11:28,628 --> 00:11:30,295
to, like, cryogenically preserve him
290
00:11:30,297 --> 00:11:32,981
until technology caught up
and maybe bring him back.
291
00:11:33,075 --> 00:11:36,651
I don't know.
That's probably stupid, though.
292
00:11:36,803 --> 00:11:39,804
No, Shrub, not at all. Pets are special.
293
00:11:39,823 --> 00:11:41,897
They're something
to tend to and care for,
294
00:11:41,917 --> 00:11:43,808
like my chickens or Joe's beer.
295
00:11:43,827 --> 00:11:46,068
And our relationship.
296
00:11:46,146 --> 00:11:48,663
Let's just have our date night
right here right now...
297
00:11:48,815 --> 00:11:52,000
Just you and me and all of Flatch.
298
00:11:52,076 --> 00:11:54,002
Let's do it!
299
00:11:54,027 --> 00:11:55,639
- Babe.
- Babe.
300
00:11:55,664 --> 00:11:59,266
Oh, God. Nobody wants to see that, FYI.
301
00:11:59,342 --> 00:12:00,675
Hey.
302
00:12:00,769 --> 00:12:02,827
June reads, like, a bunch
of Princess Diana fanfic.
303
00:12:02,846 --> 00:12:03,995
- Did you know that was a thing?
- No.
304
00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:06,342
Uh, we need to go get Jojo right now.
305
00:12:06,367 --> 00:12:07,499
[WHISPERING] Like, secret-mission time.
306
00:12:07,524 --> 00:12:10,006
It's not really a secret.
You're talking right in front of me.
307
00:12:10,031 --> 00:12:11,761
- [GROANS SOFTLY]
- I can't okay?
308
00:12:11,780 --> 00:12:13,524
I signed up for baby charades
with Dylan.
309
00:12:13,549 --> 00:12:14,623
No! Please, dude!
310
00:12:14,648 --> 00:12:17,576
I need your help
'cause of the... reason.
311
00:12:17,601 --> 00:12:19,988
He's afraid of the dark. [SIGHS]
312
00:12:20,013 --> 00:12:22,264
[WHISPERING] I honestly feel
a little bad for him,
313
00:12:22,289 --> 00:12:24,881
'cause, like,
Jojo is all he has left of Nan.
314
00:12:24,906 --> 00:12:28,264
- Fine. Really quick.
- Okay. Let's go.
315
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:30,463
Hey, here, take these headlamps.
316
00:12:30,540 --> 00:12:32,545
I'ma clone my dogs someday.
317
00:12:32,570 --> 00:12:34,634
- That is so sweet.
- Hey, hey, hey.
318
00:12:34,744 --> 00:12:37,210
I expect those back
in pristine condition.
319
00:12:37,235 --> 00:12:38,796
Yes.
320
00:12:39,883 --> 00:12:42,550
Okay, people! [CHUCKLES]
321
00:12:42,702 --> 00:12:44,536
Hey! [SNAPS FINGERS]
322
00:12:44,554 --> 00:12:45,979
Okay.
323
00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:50,303
Welcome to our gender-reveal party.
324
00:12:50,328 --> 00:12:54,350
So exciting. First up is the baby poll.
325
00:12:54,375 --> 00:12:58,043
I don't talk to pollsters,
census takers,
326
00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:00,287
or red-headed women.
327
00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:03,048
That's not true, Len. You talk to me.
328
00:13:03,125 --> 00:13:04,775
Wait, have you talked to me?
329
00:13:04,777 --> 00:13:05,884
Everyone write down
330
00:13:05,909 --> 00:13:07,058
if you think we're having a boy
or a girl.
331
00:13:07,129 --> 00:13:08,962
Personally, I'm writing "I don't care."
332
00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:11,281
As long as he or she
is healthy, I'm happy.
333
00:13:11,283 --> 00:13:13,283
Great, great, great.
Just choose fast, okay?
334
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:14,876
We have a lot of activities
to get through
335
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:16,136
before the rest of this cake melts.
336
00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:17,804
Write it... write it down.
337
00:13:17,957 --> 00:13:19,662
Let's go already. You limber?
338
00:13:19,687 --> 00:13:21,860
[GRUNTS] Loosey-goosey.
339
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,402
Let's go.
340
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:24,903
- Okay.
- Okay, get on.
341
00:13:24,980 --> 00:13:26,221
- Okay.
- Okay.
342
00:13:26,298 --> 00:13:27,981
- Closer.
- Ride the wave.
343
00:13:28,133 --> 00:13:30,817
Right there, right there. Okay, okay.
344
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:33,245
- Okay. Use your belly.
- Okay.
345
00:13:35,140 --> 00:13:37,916
The lock on this window
has been busted for years.
346
00:13:37,993 --> 00:13:41,402
I would know. I'm the one who busted it.
347
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,404
Oh, [BLEEP].
I think Barb must've fixed it.
348
00:13:43,424 --> 00:13:45,240
[SNAPPING AND CLINKING] Oh! Oh, dude.
349
00:13:45,259 --> 00:13:47,818
- I think I just broke the lock.
- And the headlamp.
350
00:13:47,836 --> 00:13:49,077
Mandy's gonna kill you.
351
00:13:49,154 --> 00:13:51,430
[GROANS] Dispose of the evidence.
352
00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:52,742
I'm going in.
353
00:13:52,767 --> 00:13:54,183
[GRUNTS] Okay.
354
00:13:54,843 --> 00:13:56,326
[GASPS]
355
00:13:56,345 --> 00:13:58,086
Oh, my God, it's so dark in here!
356
00:13:58,163 --> 00:13:59,772
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!
357
00:13:59,848 --> 00:14:04,167
Okay, boy got 11 votes, girl got 13.
358
00:14:04,186 --> 00:14:06,094
And one person wrote,
359
00:14:06,171 --> 00:14:07,381
"Sex and gender are two
different things.
360
00:14:07,406 --> 00:14:08,429
"If you want to be accurate,
361
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:11,008
you should call this
a 'genital-reveal party.'"
362
00:14:11,010 --> 00:14:13,844
- That was me!
- My lady's an academic!
363
00:14:13,862 --> 00:14:16,622
- Whoo!
- MFA, bitch!
364
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,016
Oh, my God.
365
00:14:19,018 --> 00:14:20,292
Lighter fluid.
366
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:24,704
Everyone, it's time
to pair up for baby charades.
367
00:14:24,857 --> 00:14:26,540
[CHUCKLES] I'm with Barb.
368
00:14:26,634 --> 00:14:28,967
Babe, do you know
the alcohol content in these?
369
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,952
That is a negatory.
370
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,213
- Does it matter?
- Nope!
371
00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:35,715
Getting blackout in the blackout!
372
00:14:35,868 --> 00:14:37,034
Whoo-hoo!
373
00:14:37,052 --> 00:14:38,718
- Oh, it's dark in there.
- Yeah?
374
00:14:38,743 --> 00:14:39,824
- You go.
- I got it.
375
00:14:39,849 --> 00:14:42,016
[SOFTLY] Oh, my God.
376
00:14:42,041 --> 00:14:43,482
[CARDBOARD SCRAPES] Oh, my God!
377
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,651
It's just a box.
378
00:14:48,897 --> 00:14:50,155
Oh, my God.
379
00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:52,974
There you are. [GASPS]
380
00:14:53,052 --> 00:14:55,476
Oh, and he's still smiling.
381
00:14:55,496 --> 00:14:57,888
[GASPS SOFTLY]
382
00:14:57,890 --> 00:14:59,556
"Rock-a-bye Baby"!
383
00:14:59,558 --> 00:15:00,587
"Bringing Up Baby"!
384
00:15:00,612 --> 00:15:01,725
Making a baby!
385
00:15:01,743 --> 00:15:02,909
Ew, Len.
386
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:04,319
Burping a baby! Patty-cake!
387
00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:05,395
"Baby Shark."
388
00:15:05,414 --> 00:15:08,248
- Making a baby!
- Stop saying that.
389
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:09,916
Okay, no, no, no.
This is taking way too long.
390
00:15:10,069 --> 00:15:11,510
You guys need to act better.
391
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:13,318
Ew, stop making out.
392
00:15:13,343 --> 00:15:14,548
Okay, people!
393
00:15:14,573 --> 00:15:16,073
He's here, and we need to get
him to a freezer immediately,
394
00:15:16,091 --> 00:15:17,924
'cause his tail
is getting bendy already.
395
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,242
- Where's June?
- No, no, no, no.
396
00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:21,029
Is that a dead thing? Absolutely not.
397
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:22,913
No, June, if my cake is not
essential enough
398
00:15:22,931 --> 00:15:25,173
for the freezer,
that thing definitely isn't.
399
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:27,417
Hey, I'm pretty sure June can
speak for herself, actually.
400
00:15:27,436 --> 00:15:28,600
Oh, my gosh, she can speak. Oh, wow.
401
00:15:28,625 --> 00:15:29,844
- Narc!
- She's right, Shrub.
402
00:15:29,864 --> 00:15:31,054
- There's no room.
- What?
403
00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:32,089
We were doing "Baby Got Back."
404
00:15:32,107 --> 00:15:33,943
No, you weren't! I don't buy it.
405
00:15:33,968 --> 00:15:36,030
Oh! Doesn't talk
to red-headed women, my ass.
406
00:15:36,055 --> 00:15:37,162
No, no, no, no, no.
407
00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:40,217
What in the freezer
is so "essential" anyway?
408
00:15:40,242 --> 00:15:41,333
Len's medication.
409
00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:42,875
- Oh!
- My medication.
410
00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:44,376
Blind Billy's medication.
411
00:15:44,603 --> 00:15:47,212
A lot of people in this town
are on medication.
412
00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:50,107
Yeah, I get it.
You love keeping people alive.
413
00:15:50,109 --> 00:15:51,678
Great. Well, I hope you're happy,
414
00:15:51,703 --> 00:15:55,013
'cause now one of my best
friends of all time is gone forever!
415
00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:56,704
Sorry about your frog.
416
00:15:56,724 --> 00:15:58,539
I'm sorry. I just...
I can't take this seriously.
417
00:15:58,559 --> 00:16:01,059
We are having a party
because I'm about to give birth
418
00:16:01,136 --> 00:16:05,956
to a human baby, but, no,
nobody wants to celebrate life!
419
00:16:05,958 --> 00:16:08,066
We just want to cry
about some dead lizard.
420
00:16:08,143 --> 00:16:11,294
- Nadine, why don't you...
- No, Shrub.
421
00:16:11,313 --> 00:16:14,055
Nadine is right. We should celebrate.
422
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:15,649
- Really?
- Yeah.
423
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,801
We got to celebrate Jojo!
424
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:18,911
- No.
- Yes.
425
00:16:18,987 --> 00:16:21,154
Look around, okay? Think about it.
426
00:16:21,231 --> 00:16:24,353
Jojo already had the raddest life ever,
thanks to you, Shrub.
427
00:16:24,378 --> 00:16:25,527
Remember when we strapped him to the
428
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:27,081
shoebox and flew him down the stairs?
429
00:16:27,106 --> 00:16:29,467
The lizard luge?
Yeah, he won the silver medal.
430
00:16:29,492 --> 00:16:30,715
Yeah?
431
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:32,711
And remember when we let him
play Godzilla in our movie?
432
00:16:32,736 --> 00:16:35,743
Yes. And Nan played Kong. Remember that?
433
00:16:35,821 --> 00:16:37,654
Yes, and she hated it, okay?
434
00:16:37,673 --> 00:16:39,839
So think about it.
We're already at a party...
435
00:16:39,867 --> 00:16:40,984
[WHISPERING] A sucky one.
436
00:16:41,009 --> 00:16:42,159
[CLEARS THROAT]
437
00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:43,660
[NORMAL VOICE]
Let's make it amazing, okay?
438
00:16:43,679 --> 00:16:46,921
Let's make it a rager and
give Jojo the best last day...
439
00:16:46,999 --> 00:16:48,682
- BOTH: Ever!
- Yes!
440
00:16:48,834 --> 00:16:52,836
One last rager
for the absolute king of all lizards!
441
00:16:52,838 --> 00:16:55,021
[CHEERING]
442
00:16:55,174 --> 00:16:56,949
Best date night ever!
443
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,617
[ENERGETIC MUSIC]
444
00:16:58,694 --> 00:17:01,011
? I'm at a party ?
445
00:17:01,013 --> 00:17:03,513
? I'm such a bummer ?
446
00:17:03,532 --> 00:17:08,609
? I took some drugs,
and I want to call her ?
447
00:17:08,629 --> 00:17:11,612
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC]
448
00:17:11,632 --> 00:17:18,595
? ?
449
00:17:24,246 --> 00:17:26,697
Hi. I don't think
we've officially met yet.
450
00:17:26,722 --> 00:17:29,314
Barb Flatch, here
for all your real estate needs.
451
00:17:29,391 --> 00:17:31,650
Kelly Mallet, lover of free swag.
452
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,318
Cool sticker.
453
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:36,014
Oh, well, you're the first person
454
00:17:36,039 --> 00:17:38,639
to not try and rip it off
right away, so thanks.
455
00:17:38,659 --> 00:17:40,141
Yeah.
456
00:17:40,219 --> 00:17:42,357
Hey, uh, I think it's really sweet
457
00:17:42,382 --> 00:17:45,572
what you're doing for that kid
with the dead lizard.
458
00:17:45,724 --> 00:17:49,650
It was a total toss-up between
doing Shrub a solid and killing him.
459
00:17:49,728 --> 00:17:52,186
We're living together,
and I want to strangle him.
460
00:17:52,211 --> 00:17:56,085
I hear you, sister.
Welcome to being married.
461
00:17:56,291 --> 00:17:59,308
Ew, no. Um, that is my cousin.
462
00:17:59,385 --> 00:18:00,884
I'm sorry. I know you're new here.
463
00:18:00,904 --> 00:18:02,128
Oh, my God. My bad.
464
00:18:02,146 --> 00:18:04,221
Sorry. [CLEARS THROAT]
465
00:18:04,315 --> 00:18:05,723
We've had this dream since we were kids
466
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,076
that we'd live
in this baller house together
467
00:18:08,101 --> 00:18:10,970
and we'd have a fireman's pole
connecting our rooms,
468
00:18:10,972 --> 00:18:12,305
five dogs named Steve.
469
00:18:12,323 --> 00:18:13,459
"Steve." [IMITATES BARKING]
470
00:18:13,484 --> 00:18:14,565
All of them come.
471
00:18:14,642 --> 00:18:17,418
Mm, fireman's pole
is such a homeowner liability.
472
00:18:17,570 --> 00:18:18,828
- Anyway.
- Go on.
473
00:18:18,904 --> 00:18:23,149
Now my old dream
is, like, kind of my nightmare.
474
00:18:23,167 --> 00:18:25,334
I feel bad for wanting him gone.
475
00:18:25,487 --> 00:18:27,911
[SIGHS] Kelly,
I'm gonna tell you something.
476
00:18:27,931 --> 00:18:32,658
Never live your life worrying
about a man more than yourself.
477
00:18:32,683 --> 00:18:35,367
I did that for 17 years,
and what did it get me?
478
00:18:37,423 --> 00:18:39,834
Uh, do you want me to answer you or...
479
00:18:39,859 --> 00:18:41,759
It got me some crap-ass self-esteem
480
00:18:41,836 --> 00:18:45,596
and a permanent burn on my back
from his tanning bed, so...
481
00:18:45,673 --> 00:18:48,858
We women have to stick up for ourselves
482
00:18:48,934 --> 00:18:50,660
'cause nobody else will.
483
00:18:52,789 --> 00:18:54,455
Totally, yeah.
484
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,293
Listen...
485
00:18:58,444 --> 00:19:01,612
I should probably tell you someone...
486
00:19:01,689 --> 00:19:06,042
broke the window lock at your new place.
487
00:19:06,118 --> 00:19:07,635
God, it's always something.
488
00:19:07,787 --> 00:19:10,287
Right?
489
00:19:10,365 --> 00:19:14,867
Bert used to handle all
the repairs at our properties.
490
00:19:14,869 --> 00:19:18,771
Yeah, but you're a lady
standing up for yourself, you know?
491
00:19:21,225 --> 00:19:24,134
You're right. [CHUCKLES]
492
00:19:24,154 --> 00:19:25,653
You're right.
493
00:19:25,730 --> 00:19:29,657
When life gives you lemons,
you learn how to fix a window.
494
00:19:29,809 --> 00:19:31,384
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
495
00:19:31,386 --> 00:19:33,863
Do you have a cigarette?
Actually, don't answer that.
496
00:19:33,888 --> 00:19:37,390
I don't know why I'm asking
because I don't smoke anymore.
497
00:19:37,392 --> 00:19:39,650
[WHISPERING] Seriously,
do you have a cigarette?
498
00:19:39,669 --> 00:19:41,985
No, um...
499
00:19:42,063 --> 00:19:44,422
but I know someone who does.
500
00:19:45,154 --> 00:19:46,695
That guy.
501
00:19:48,327 --> 00:19:50,160
You're an angel.
502
00:19:50,238 --> 00:19:53,014
- [CHUCKLES] Thanks.
- Thank you.
503
00:19:53,091 --> 00:19:54,924
And, hey...
504
00:19:55,076 --> 00:19:57,852
good luck with your cousin.
505
00:19:57,877 --> 00:20:00,529
Hey, Kel. Jojo is starting to smell,
506
00:20:00,554 --> 00:20:04,584
so I think it might be time to move on.
507
00:20:04,602 --> 00:20:06,510
- I couldn't agree more.
- Yeah.
508
00:20:06,529 --> 00:20:10,013
And on the topic of moving on,
509
00:20:10,091 --> 00:20:13,534
I think it's time for you to move out.
510
00:20:13,611 --> 00:20:17,780
Uh, wait. You're kicking me out?
511
00:20:17,932 --> 00:20:20,023
Really?
512
00:20:20,043 --> 00:20:22,935
Uh, wow. That, uh...
513
00:20:22,954 --> 00:20:24,212
Wow.
514
00:20:24,288 --> 00:20:26,242
Listen, I was just sticking around
515
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:27,859
because she needed me, but, honestly,
516
00:20:27,884 --> 00:20:29,442
I've been trying to get her
to kick me out for weeks.
517
00:20:29,444 --> 00:20:32,035
- Oh, my... Get off!
- [LAUGHS]
518
00:20:32,055 --> 00:20:34,371
- Oh, my God!
- [LAUGHS]
519
00:20:34,391 --> 00:20:35,890
Thank God she finally got the hint.
520
00:20:36,041 --> 00:20:37,283
Hey, Mandy.
521
00:20:37,301 --> 00:20:38,951
We're having a lizard burial.
522
00:20:38,970 --> 00:20:40,620
Shovel or pickaxe?
523
00:20:40,622 --> 00:20:46,142
? There's got to be a morning after ?
524
00:20:46,218 --> 00:20:51,631
? If we can hold on through the night ?
525
00:20:51,649 --> 00:20:56,636
? We have a chance
to find the sunshine ?
526
00:20:56,654 --> 00:21:01,899
? Let's keep on looking for the light ?
527
00:21:01,976 --> 00:21:07,404
? Oh, can't you see the morning after? ?
528
00:21:07,482 --> 00:21:12,334
? It's waiting right outside the storm ?
529
00:21:12,487 --> 00:21:14,153
? Why don't we cross... ?
530
00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:16,264
Kept a little piece of Jojo.
531
00:21:16,415 --> 00:21:19,008
Um, if a lizard can grow a new tail,
532
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,343
maybe a tail can grow a new lizard.
533
00:21:21,496 --> 00:21:24,163
Blue M&Ms! It's a boy!
534
00:21:24,182 --> 00:21:28,776
- Yes! Yes, thank God!
- Dylan!
535
00:21:28,928 --> 00:21:30,278
Circle of life.
536
00:21:30,354 --> 00:21:33,656
[INSECTS CHIRPING]
537
00:21:33,706 --> 00:21:38,256
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
39970
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.