Original subtitles

I'm not sure I can keep coming here.

Bashir. Let's talk about this.

I don't think you can help me.

You're demoting me?

I have a responsibility to the department.

Did you need a project? 'Cause there is always the bomb

that seems to have gone off in the kitchen.

I'm searching for some way to connect,

and it's like you want nothing to do with me.

You own stock in the company that's marketing the ICD.

Are you sure that that's not a conflict?

Not according to the ethics board.

I need to know I can stand behind what we're doing.

Do you feel okay? You're breathing fast.

I need a gurney in here now!

Help! I need help in here!

Call Doctor Fisher, tell her heart rate's 190!

No change in rhythm. Her pressure's dropping!

Get her to the cath lab!

Three, two, one, lower.

Get her on a rebreather!

50 ketamine, IV push.

Dr. Hamed, we've got this!

I just heard, Bash.

100 joules, synchronized.

- Charging! - No, no, no, one of her pads is loose!

Anyone not part of the cardiology department leaves.

- Now! - No! I'm not leaving!

Bash. Come on.

Bash, let's go, man. Let them do their job.

Clear!

I was asleep! Okay?

Her rhythm jumped up and I didn't hear it in time!

What would you have done? Call the nurse a split second

- before the monitor? - If I'd been awake...

Bash, Bash! Get a grip man.

How many times have we told patients and their families

not to blame themselves?

What's going on?

Guys what the hell is going on?

She keeps jumping in and out of A-fib

which her pacemaker can't pick up.

What? Mags has a pacemaker?

She never said anything about a heart history.

- Yeah, me either. - I guess maybe she thought

it was behind her...

Okay, I... I have to get back.

Uh, you can... You stay, I'm just gonna...

- I have to go cover. - We're going to have to open her up.

You're sure you don't mind

taking Amira a few more days?

It's not me minding you should worry about.

She knows, Bashir.

That Mags and I are...?

- Yeah. - You told her?

She had already figured it out,

and I didn't lie when she asked me what was going on now.

I knew she'd be upset, that's why I didn't say anything.

This is not why she's upset.

Come on, Rania, if this is about art school again...

_

_

_

I don't mean to pile on.

_

So this is where patients come in from an ambulance.

Whoa, heads up guys.

The aquarium tickets are timed, I cleared 12 to 1.

Oh no, I could only get 10 to 11.

Does that mean you can't come?

Who do sharks see when they need doctors Mama?

Whales. I guess we'll divide and conquer

and I will take you swimming later?

You're still interviewing nannies today right?

Oh, is this the little family here?

Yes, it is.

Bowie, Phoebe, this is Dr. Novak.

Hey, buddy. You wanna to go see the Trauma OR?

It's where all the coolest stuff happens.

Actually we've got to go.

All right.

- Uh, can you just hang on one sec? Mark? - Yep.

It's a... cute kid.

Did you not check email overseas?

I did. I wanted Dr. Hamed for Trauma OR in the first place. So...

I also wanted us to put our heads together around efficiencies.

I've already ran a few things past June,

maybe we could meet later this week?

Yes, okay. I'll look forward to it.

Was that him?

That was him.

If I get to the nannies next week, will you be mad?

Yes. But I love you anyway.

Come here!

Oh, I've got to go.

- Alright, have fun guys. - Ciao.

This is Shay, speak.

Hey Shay you didn't come back last night.

I know we had an argument but you can come home,

so call me when you get this.

Oh well, well, well. If it isn't Team Trauma OR. Looking...

- emotionally roiled? - How was Turkey?

Actually, I ended up in northeast Syria.

Huge displaced population in a camp there.

You were in Al-Hol?

I mean there was no water supply, so most of the time

was spent helping with distribution,

but we did do four kidney transplants.

I guess you can't cross that border yet?

Not without risking arrest.

Even if I had a Canadian passport.

Well, we need you here at home anyways.

At least one good thing came out of the ground

Dr. Curtis ceded to Devi in my absence.

You mean by reporting to the boss who was holding down the fort

- for the one who wasn't? - No, I mean

by setting a precedent that she gets to have an opinion on our process.

Which I now need to undo.

It's getting crowded out there in emerg.

How often does the residency board

want you training in surgery?

Every third shift, otherwise it's ED.

And always on call to Trauma OR,

'cause I get first priority.

Bash!

Let me know how it's going with Mags.

Gurjeet Sran? Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.

I hear you're having trouble swallowing?

It hurts right here when I eat or drink something.

Let's take a look.

Your scarring. IED?

Afghanistan, 2010.

Went for the sunshine, came back with a shrapnel fragment

lodged in my neck.

That was it for active service,

now I work as a drill instructor.

I was with the recruits this morning

when the pain really started to spike.

I already don't look like them so fainting with pain

doesn't really...

make it any easier to earn respect.

I bet you know what that's like.

So uh, you a vet?

You clued in on the IED pretty quick.

Uh, no I was a trauma surgeon in Syria.

Um, I think the shrapnel might be pressing

up against your esophageal tract.

Does it still mess you up?

I'm sorry?

The war. Syria.

Your people spoke up and asked for the lives you deserved,

and they took your country away to punish you for it.

Um... Uh, you need a scope to see if there's an obstruction

in your throat and we'll need to sedate you.

Do you have any friends or a family member

- we can call to pick you up? - The base will send someone.

Okay.

And the paramedics gave him a shot of benzo, Dad?

But he kept low-level seizing.

Are you sure you can get that line in?

I am sure.

Are you okay holding him? Nancy here can help.

No, no. It's better if I do it.

Caleb you're gonna feel a little pinch. Okay?

Matthews, Marner, Bunting...

Kerfoot, Tavares, Nylander...

Leafs fan, eh?

Memorizing all the line combos calms us down.

- Nancy, supplement of oxygen please. - Mm-hmm.

- And a bedside glucose? - Yeah.

When did Caleb get diagnosed with Niemann Pick Disease?

He was one when we started noticing loss of eye control.

It's been progressive from there.

Nancy, are you familiar with it?

Caleb's type C, his body can't break down fat

and it's a chain reaction of muscle deterioration.

There's no cure.

Sorry, I'm never sure who needs it explained.

No, it makes sense. Nice job, Caleb.

Has he been put on any of the experimental trials?

We've tried a few, but no success.

There's a new one but it's for kids under five

and Caleb turned six last month

We went to the hockey game.

Bet that was fun!

Sometimes they can make exceptions

if his team makes a case for it.

Hey, hey buddy.

Should we do the power play? Yeah, let's do the power play.

Tavares, Nylander, Matthews...

Code for meds-peds? Elizabeth Bergeron?

Thought I still had her number from when we were residents.

Oh, I think she read your mind.

Wow, there she is.

Caleb Pasternak? Avrum texted.

- Yeah, uh, hi Liz. - Hi.

Caleb's been low grade seizing for 30, I just wanted to check

before swapping to a second-line anti-epileptic.

Maybe valproate?

Caleb's last seizure was almost refractory,

we weren't sure he was gonna pull out, but he did.

How long do you think he has?

Usually when it presents this young,

they don't make it to five years old.

Not that you'd know it from Avrum's stamina.

- Mom still in the picture? - No.

Most parents in his position can trade off.

You know one hopes while the other one despairs,

but Avrum, he...

He's left doing both all the time.

Yeah.

You know you could have just swapped the infusion, Theo.

I mean last I heard you were moving up in the world,

supervising doctor across emerg?

Yeah, well, then you probably also heard about

the roller-coaster year I had?

Divorce, helicopter crash, twitter pariah.

Oh! Are you the reason for the email we just got

about looping HR into social media interactions?

And now I am required to get sign off

on even simple infusions.

So, how do you dig your way out of that brand of purgatory?

Maybe by not pulling on my restraints.

Uh, if you need anything, you let me know.

You specifically told me I'd be here an hour

- and it's been six. - I'm sorry Ms. Kachinsky,

the doctor wanted some different tests

and we had some very urgent patients come in.

ED?

Rhoda texted about Mags, she okay?

It's still a wait and see and...

Hey, Arnold if you're late, you really got to call.

Actually, I'm early. Between the wait time communication

and the patient satisfaction surveys that Devi wants.

You've got less time to do more?

And in our transition from 12 to 8-hour days,

there's been gaps in shift change.

So, Rhoda and I have been taking turns covering them

until we get it sorted out so things don't fall through the cracks.

- Unpaid? - Told him to keep a log.

Curtain 2 needs fluids, curtain 3 is still waiting

on OR transfer. Should somebody be getting that?

ED?

Bash you told Ms. Kachinsky she doesn't need labs but now

- she does? - It's because her fever wouldn't go down.

Okay, hold on a second, I'll ask.

OR's looking for a patient, they're supposed to be upstairs by now?

That's a transport issue, they need to start calling the porters.

Never mind, I'll deal with it.

Dr. Hamed to cardiology.

Hamed cardiology.

Atrial arrhythmia from a valve leak

which a pacemaker can't regulate.

We replaced your battery, ablated,

and attempted valve repair.

And where are we on lasting damage?

Some new scarring

and the valve problem could recur.

Is there anything we can do to make sure it doesn't?

Same as before. Remote monitoring.

- And frequent check-ins. - When can I go home?

- In a couple days. - How about tomorrow?

With a Holter monitor?

The fact that you're disagreeing with me again is a good sign,

but I'm not comfortable sending you home alone.

She won't be. Her sister's on her way.

Since when?

Let's see how tonight goes first.

- You called Cam? - Of course I did.

- Why? - Mags, you...

There is no need for my sister to disrupt her life.

Look she said you'd say that

and she's not going to leave you an option.

- Bash... - I'll clear my patients for the day.

No seriously, please, don't do that.

I'm just gonna be sleeping all day.

Which is what I should be doing right now.

Right?

Yes.

I'm gonna go get your doctor, okay? Stay tight.

Oh Bash, Mr. Sran's back from his scope,

he's still a bit out of it from the sedative, though.

Okay, thanks.

Sir our GI confirmed that

the shrapnel is pressing up against your esophagus.

If it breaks through it, it'd cause severe damage

if we don't removed surgically. So hopefully,

that will take place this week.

Nadir, you're back.

I'm Dr. Hamed. A surgeon will phone you later today

to schedule the operation.

Okay, Mr. Sran?

You never did call me Gurjeet, even when you were alive.

Nadir, you have to kill me.

You're confusing me with someone else. Okay?

The effects of the sedative should wear off soon.

That's an order, soldier! Nadir, you have to kill me!

- Bash? - Try taking deep breaths, Gurjeet, please.

We took everything from you!

Maybe you should go, he's obviously reacting to you.

- No, please! - Bash. - It's okay.

- Please. You have to kill me. Please! - Go, Bash!

Don't leave him alone until he calms down.

You have to kill me, Nadir, please!

Please! You have to kill me!

You have to kill me, please!

Magalie Marie Leblanc that does not look like taking a nap.

My mind has been racing too much

with everything I've been letting slide.

I think the gas company will forgive your week of bed rest.

Hey! You promised me coffee and croissant

once I was back on my feet. That does not look like croissant.

How about expensive heart-conscious take-out

and bad TV tonight?

Since I'm going back to Montreal tomorrow.

You sure you won't come with? Stay with Mom and Dad for a bit?

No you can't really think that would be good for my heart.

What about your soul, Mags?

Not once have you told me how you feel about all this.

'Cause I've been here before, Cam.

Yeah, as a teenager who kept up with school from home

before there was even Zoom!

But now, in the middle of a busy residency,

it's okay if you're daunted.

Look I'm just going to the hospital to meet with Fisher.

And hopefully she can clear me in the next couple weeks.

And what does your super attentive doctor boyfriend think of that plan?

He doesn't... really know yet.

I get it, I do.

The overprotected kid only ever wanted to feel normal.

- But Mags... - Look I'm gonna ease into it.

I just need to do it on my own terms, okay? Please?

- Okay. - Okay.

Dr. Esfahani? I'm Dr. Hamed.

I was hoping to connect with you about one of your patients,

Gurjeet Sran? I treated him in emerg last week.

Call me Karim. Gurjeet spoke to you about me?

Uh, no, not exactly, I did some digging

and saw that you were a prescribing psychiatrist on some past medication

and saw that you were on site today so...

And you decided to stalk me? Why?

Gurjeet was supposed to come back for a surgical procedure

but he never did, I wanted him to know that it's very important.

He knows. He doesn't want it.

It is... I'm surely aware that patients with PTSD...

After they've been triggered their lives can lose shape and...

And you think you triggered him?

He wanted someone named Nadir to kill him.

- He spoke to you about Nadir? - He thought I was Nadir,

I'm assuming it's someone he knew in Afghanistan?

I can't divulge personal details

Dr. Esfahani... Karim, he won't return my calls.

So if you speak to him, can you tell him to at least come see me?

Most emerg docs wouldn't follow up after he left.

He doesn't have anyone in his life to come see him

and just... the way he was talking, it uh,

it stuck with me.

I don't think pressuring him is the right approach.

- I'm not... - But,

Gurjeet may be willing to come back if he gets a chance

to say what he's been needing to say for a long time...

To Nadir.

You want me to pretend to be Nadir?

No, I'm not even Afghani.

You two seem to have... connected.

So much so that he projected his dead friend onto you.

You'd be acting as a kind of interweave to help him

unstick the memory.

And you think that will get him to reconsider?

No promises, but it may get him through the door.

Activate MTP, two large bore IVs!

Imaging's up.

Dr. Devi, you're joining us?

Relax Mark. I'm not picking up a scalpel.

We have Stanley Popavich, gunned down in his pawn shop.

Single gun shot wound. Let's pack cells through level 1!

Mr. Popavich...

you said the shooter was 5'10?

Stan said. I didn't see the guy!

You got to get out of here. Go now, get out! Go, go, go, go.

- Come on. - Catch me up on the imaging, June.

Looks like the bullet grazed the gallbladder

and lodged near the spinal column. But the trajectory makes no sense.

Irrelevant. All that matters is where we focus.

I guarantee you that bullet will create a hematoma

pressing into the spine.

These dressings are soaking through.

You're more than welcome to redress them.

Look there is information on the gallbladder

which means the infection is a serious concern.

Plus the paramedics said there was sensation at the scene,

Babinski prints out.

We're gonna have to move faster than that.

Dr. Devi? I'll do it. Just because he has sensation now

doesn't mean he's gonna have it in the future.

And the fact that you would ignore spinal compression

and risk neuro deficit makes me seriously question your judgment

He has massive hypotension and coagulopathy,

plus the fluid collecting in his abdominal cavity.

We can ligate the extrahepatic duct,

we can control the bleeding, find out what else got hit.

Dr. Curtis is right. This is why the bullet path is relevant.

But wrong about the priority. Deal with the hematoma

and decompress the spine before touching anything else.

I'm going to intubate him. Dr. Devi,

you're more than welcome to stay and work the bone drill?

I think suction is more my speed.

Hey!

- Hi. - What's up?

Our regularly scheduled noonish heart check in?

All's good on the Holter.

Just like every other day this week.

Rania said she'd be happy to take Amira again

so when Cam leaves, I can stay with you.

And be my nurse?

What was that?

Wait, Mags are you... Are you here?

Fisher called me in for some imaging.

I didn't want you messing up your day distracted by me.

Mags... Please.

Look, I'll find you later. Okay?

Caleb had a rough night at home?

Yes. It started with cramping,

and then this fever that got away from...

He couldn't even keep down Pedialyte.

We're rehydrating him now.

Dr. Bergeron may have some solutions.

I doubt it.

Something happened between you two last time you were here?

Nothing happened! That's the problem.

That drug Bergeron won't fight to get Caleb on it.

Did she say why?

Something about intense side effects

he wouldn't be able to tolerate.

Well, if that's the case, I'm sure she's right.

Yeah, but it's like she's given up.

After his seizure, I asked her to admit us.

She said, "Home is better than a hospital". But for who?

Is there anyone around that can help you?

My wife left when he was two.

I already took a leave of absence from work but that ends next month.

Was Caleb been diagnosed with an enlarged spleen?

That's common with Niemann Pick. Why?

I'm seeing fluid and...

rupture can happen.

It seems so unfair that there is a drug that could help Caleb

and he can't access it!

His entire childhood is just... this.

I'm gonna get Caleb admitted

and will see where we are with his spleen. Okay?

Fine!

Come on, Shay.

We're gonna need access to your security cameras.

That camera hasn't worked in years.

Your own business was robbed, sir.

Do you have anything that you can tell us?

I wasn't there! Stan said the guy was too far away to see.

Sir?

Do you have any water or something?

Mr. Popavich? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey! Okay, let's get this guy in a room.

Just this way.

Okay, just have a seat.

Just give us a minute?

How's my cousin?

We found the bullet and we controlled the bleeding.

And now he's dealing with a fever, so I guess it's wait and see.

What about you, hm? You almost fainted out there.

Nah. I just needed to get away from that cop.

Right, 'cause your story's bogus.

You know, the way the bullet entered your cousin's abdomen

and in a downward direction,

It's kind of hard to do it from far away. Wouldn't you say?

Tell me I'm wrong.

Okay.

There was no robbery.

Did you shoot Stanley, Leon?

- No! Stanley shot Stanley! - What?!

You're trying to tell me that idiot shot himself in the gut?

- Do you have any idea how... - Hey!

It was supposed to graze his arm but the gun kicked!

We're under water financially but we got insurance.

I lobbied against it but Stan had this dumb idea

that if a robbery looked real...

You guys could get a payout. Unbelievable.

- Your blood pressure's fine. - It shouldn't be,

cause I'm freaking out!

You gonna tell that cop?

Cause I heard doctors are like lawyers with confidentiality!

You're right. I can't say anything.

Stan's going to be mad I told you.

Your first impressions of the guy

obviously weren't ideal but... We're family.

Well your family's irresponsible choices

just made you an accomplice. Okay?

So if I were you, I would tell the cop the truth

and cut your cousin out of your life.

I mean even if you're right, I...

Would you do that if you were me?

Why not? You really need this mess Leon?

The EMDR light will pulse,

grounding Gurjeet in the present,

that'll prompt him to speak.

I'm surprised he agreed so quickly.

Gurjeet blames himself for the death of Nadir,

it's affected every area of his life.

He wants to move on but the past won't let him.

- And this is how he does that? - In my experience,

it's a safe way to reprocess trauma.

With you invoking Nadir,

Gurjeet may better engage with his reaction

to the traumatic experience.

Shouldn't I know more about Nadir?

He was a local translator, but the details matter less

than the emotional connection.

For Gurjeet to engage, it has to get to a real place,

so whatever you feel in the moment, don't bury it.

Imaging and blood work look good.

Any headache, weakness, syncope?

Just some dizziness. Always happens with anti-arrhythmics.

Dr. Fisher I wanted to thank you.

You're my patient, it's my job.

It's really important for you to know

how committed I am to this residency.

And I've taken steps to ensure it'll be here when you get back.

- How long were you thinking? - Four months should do it.

- Four months! For a pacemaker battery? - And a valve repair.

But the intake phase of the study will almost be over by then.

And you'll go back into the general cardiology pool.

Okay but I put together a plan for managing study data remotely,

- and monitoring patients over the phone and... - Mags.

You came to me a week ago very upset at how I was running things.

Not to quit! To make it work!

By trying to change my process to suit your own needs?

That was never going to work for me.

I honestly thought you'd be relieved.

Okay, if you don't want me to be on the study,

I can do remote charts, I can do dictation...

It's a full-time hands-on job, you know this.

Rest up,

come back when you're past this bump.

Someone will be in to remove your IV, then you can change and go.

What are you noticing?

Before now?

In the Humvee, you and I are kidding around in Punjabi.

You were the only one who spoke my language.

You tried to teach me a lot of Dari but I learned nothing.

You don't remember that, Nadir?

We pulled over. Just an easy roadside stop.

Nadir got out, spoke to locals, we ate.

Waiting for the green light from the CO.

You know what drill we're gonna do, Nadir?

No, I don't.

What's coming up now, Gurjeet?

I'm scared.

When you asked me what was wrong, I lied.

I knew the raid was gonna be dangerous,

I just didn't want you to know I was afraid,

it's like if I said how I felt and it went bad,

it would all be my fault.

When we got to the house, we sent you in first to get the civilians out.

You were nervous but I said it was gonna be okay,

and you trusted me.

I did.

There was a hidden IED in the house.

You took the worst of it.

Could you see anything before it went off?

You called out for your Mom in Dari.

I know enough to know that.

Did you feel it, Nadir? The explosion?

Not at first.

But after a minute.

It's all my fault!

I'd do anything to give you your future back!

You can't! Okay? You can't!

- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... - Wait, wait.

Is there something you'd like to say to Nadir?

I can't breathe.

Dr. Hamed!

Hematemesis.

The shrapnel's perforated his esophagus.

He needs surgery right now.

- He hasn't consented... - Go get help, now!

Hey, I'm sorry, is there any way

that you could remove this IV for me please?

Oh, you have to wait your turn, ma'am.

I'm actually a doctor here, I'd do it myself but it's just...

So just see the triage nurse, he can help.

Are you sure... Thank you.

Oh! Hey! Mags? What are you doing?

I was supposed to wait but I just... I had to get out

of the gown and that... room and I got dizzy and...

Can you please distract me by complaining about Trauma OR

- or Novak or Shay? - Yeah, I mean Shay's been gone

for like five days and I haven't heard a word.

- That's a while. - Yeah, I know right?

I mean she spent couple days at her friend

Kenzie's house last month

but they were doing some kind technology cleanse.

Well, if she used to doing that stuff why are you worried?

I don't know I think I might have...

gotten with bargained with this kid, you know?

I feel like I should be calling a grown-up but also,

am I the grown-up?

- Well... - I don't think I am the grown-up.

Why is that bleeding so much?!

Blood thinners.

Heart condition, remember?

Right.

Who would've thought you'd be the one

with the bigger secret of the two of us, huh?

How are you doing? Yeah, don't answer that,

Bash is been keeping me up to date.

Yeah, you should call a grown-up.

I'll text you?

- Hey! - Hey!

Leon Popavich said you were sending him for tests?

- I can't find him. - He didn't need more tests.

- So you lost him? - I didn't lose him.

He decided to leave, that's not on me.

Uh, officer? Hi.

Um, how long should one wait before reporting someone missing?

- You... - No, no, no, no.

It has nothing to do with Leon or Stan.

Do you have a specific reason to be worried about this person?

No. Uh, maybe...

She's like 19. She's a college student.

A bit of a disaster and normally she checks in

but she's been gone like five days this time so...

Okay, if you think she's in danger

or prone to doing something reckless,

act sooner rather than later. Okay?

Okay.

Making incision along the sternocleidomastoid.

Self retaining retractor. Please, Claire.

Let's get all the shrapnel out and repair the esophagus.

Okay, this looks like a difficult dissection.

It's probably why they left the shrapnel in. Forceps please.

All veins and vessels, one wrong move...

I can see the shrapnel.

Okay, got it

Pressure's dropping!

There is a tear in the carotid. We need to clamp!

Clamping the carotid risks stroke.

He's hemodynamically unstable.

Bleed's a higher priority! Hang bags of blood, please.

I can't see.

You're gonna have to feel for it.

Dr. Hamed?

Hold on. Okay, got it. Clamp!

Pressure's holding.

Got that bleed under control. Well done guys.

V-fib!

This guy is bound and determined to let go, isn't he?

We're not going to let him! Alright, Claire,

prep pads, 150 J!

- Charged! - Clear!

Nothing. Try 200 joules! Resuming compression.

Charged!

Clear!

Sinus rhythm. Pressure's coming back up.

75/60.

Okay.

Let's remove the other fragments

and finish up before anything else happens.

He's gonna owe you his life, Dr. Hamed.

I know there's a rule about proper notice of schedule changes

- in our collective agreement. - I like the shorter shifts.

Sweet summer child, you still don't see the glory

- of a four-day week. - It's not just the shifts, Nancy...

Care to fill me in?

Oh come one! I'm still a nurse, guys.

And a managing NP who reports up.

We were maxed out before these policy changes,

not taking breaks, barely keeping up with charting.

And now we're getting yelled at for misquoting waits,

and having to chase down doctors for treatment plans in advance.

Has anyone tried talking to Devi?

You saw her earlier, she sees it

but she's not doing anything. This isn't working.

Look Claire, diplomacy was fine when you had Bishop's ear,

but things are different now. So are you with us?

When have I ever not been?

That time, with the peach scrubs.

Or when we switched the chart pile to the other side of the desk.

Okay, just hold on.

Emergency.

Some guy forced his way into the drug dispensary

demanding a specific drug.

Said you knew which one.

He scared the pharmacist.

He's pretty volatile.

We were able to remove the shrapnel and repair the rupture.

He's sedated right now and tolerating it well..

I know he wanted me to let him die.

Without a DNR, you had no choice.

Where we went in that moment...

His body gave up, it nearly killed him.

Are you blaming yourself for his shrapnel breaking through?

How could his physical reaction be your fault?

And where you went, Gurjeet needed to go.

Will he be able to go back there?

It's my job to try, Dr. Hamed.

Look, things clearly got personal for you too.

If you're scared to go back with him, I'd understand.

Avrum... Avrum, I'm coming in.

Open it.

Just tell me where you keep it!

We don't have that drug here. And even if we did,

- we can't give it to him... - Then order it and I will!

I've learned how to do IM injections,

how to position him for seizures, do CPR.

I've done more for him than anyone here and I will do this too!

Look Avrum, I never should've asked you to press Bergeron

- without all the facts. - I need somewhere to put my hope!

I know. But this isn't the place

Then there's nowhere! And Caleb is going to die!

But not today. Look I know you're tired man,

but you can walk this back before it escalates.

I'm no better than his mom.

There's this part of me that wants to go to jail,

just so I can have a night off.

What kind of father am I?

One that's in an impossible situation he doesn't deserve.

But I can help.

Caleb's spleen rupture is graded low.

Which means he'll recover without any surgery.

But we'll keep him here, bear the burn for a few days.

I just need you to come out.

I'll be with you, every step.

Come on.

Okay

We're coming out!

We're okay!

Hey, no! What are you doing? Let him go.

Mr. Pasternak, you're under arrest.

Theo! Don't leave Caleb alone please!

Look his kid is sick, okay? Where are you taking him?

I'm sorry, Theo, we had to call it in.

Lou...

Kenzie? It's June Curtis. Uh, Shay's... sister.

Uh, now this is weird,

but she says she hangs out here sometimes,

I was wondering if she might be with you?

Or if maybe you know where she is?

I was gonna come see you, I just hadn't gotten around to it yet.

- Is Cam here? - No, I took an Uber.

And before you tell me that that was a risk,

it obviously wasn't, because I survived.

And now you're cleaning out your office for some reason?

Because I don't work here anymore.

Wait what?

I'm out of the study and on a mandated four-month leave.

Okay, I can see why that's upsetting

but if your cardiologist thinks that's a good idea...

She's taking the opportunity to push me out!

Okay. If that's what happening.

- Yes, it is. - I wasn't trying to...

We can find a way to fix it.

- Here why don't you let me. - No! Stop! Stop it!

- Stop what? Trying to help? - No!

Stop looking at me like that!

Like I'm some breakable object that you're afraid to touch!

See? Like that! That's what I mean.

You won't even fight with me! I'm the same person!

I don't want to fight with you Mags.

The people I care about get hurt and...

Well, this isn't about you!

I've always hid this part of myself.

And now that this happened so publicly I can't do that anymore.

I need space to be the messed up one right now.

Okay.

- What the hell? - Cardiac arrest.

Massive septic shock.

Bullet may've greased an abscess.

On the gallbladder?

What if there was a pre-existing infection.

Anyways, the full resus team was here

and there's nothing they could do.

Leon, I'm really sorry.

Where were you? You told me to leave!

If I'd stayed, maybe we could've caught it.

- No, no... - This is your fault!

What? No.

He's on a recovery floor, there are three dedicated nurses.

There's...

Thank you.

I can't believe you didn't stand up for me,

I was the one who pointed out the inflammation

and I wanted to prioritize his gallbladder.

Even so, the cardiac arrest took everybody by surprise.

What am I supposed to do, pile on the guy? He just lost a relative.

You know, the only reason that he's even blaming me for all of this

is because this was all part of some stupid insurance scam

and he knows that I know.

So what!? How is that your problem?

What are you so worked up about?

Well, either you're like all over me in Trauma OR

or you're not paging me down at all. Is it some kind of a punishment,

for how I handled Devi while you were gone?

Wow. Uh, maybe.

Why, are your feelings hurt?

- Oh God. - What happened to June Curtis

- with the balls of steel? - Don't do that!

No, no, no. Listen, listen. We can use this melodrama

to solve both of our problems.

- No. - Devi hates me.

- Yeah. - You're annoyed with me. So listen, listen,

let me finish. Go to her, complain about me,

get it off your chest and make her a friend.

Why would I do that?

Well, do you think a guy like me is gonna survive her politics?

And if I go, what happens to you?

Listen, if you care at all about the Trauma OR

that we hoped to build,

then we have to use every check in our book.

Okay? Just think about it.

We gave him something to sleep,

but he's been asking for his dad.

What was he thinking?

That he's being punished for his choices?

And if it's out of his control anyways,

what does it matter if you take your hands off the wheel?

What do you even say to that?

Well, the Theo you knew when we were residents

would have told him everything happens for a reason.

You don't believe that anymore?

As soon as I stopped punishing myself

for wanting out of my marriage, that helicopter crashed.

So if I still believed that,

that would mean that crash was meant to happen,

and that somehow...

You deserved it.

I can stay with him.

I cleared my schedule.

I wanted you to let me die.

I couldn't let that happen.

You can't put that on me, Gurjeet.

I'm putting that on me.

I did this to you.

Me and my war you didn't ask for...

I don't want to carry the weight of your past.

I don't want to be a victim.

Yours, or anyone else's.

Let me go.

Could you at least stay until I fall asleep?

Hey! Where the hell have you been?

Tasha and I decided to skip a few days of classes

and go camping and my phone died.

I didn't even see your texts until today. 26 messages,

- June that's a new record. - I've barely slept!

Don't you think you could've let me know?!

But June, I did. I left a note on the desk at home.

- Next to your charts. - Look, I went into your room,

and I found your antidepressants.

And panicked? Those pills are nothing new.

Okay but it would be nice to know beforehand.

I was supposed to wear my "I have depression" t-shirt when I moved in?

No but this... it's affecting my work, Shay.

Okay? I'm a completely different person,

- I can't have that here. - Are you asking me to leave?

No! No, I just...

Oh my God! You actually care, don't you?

- Shay, don't do that. - You do! Tell me I'm wrong.

Just...

Just don't do that again.

Okay. Well...

- Thanks. - Are they gonna press charges?

"Public mischief",

although my lawyer says they could be talked into

dropping them down the line.

He also said you gave a statement

which is one of the reasons I've been released without bail.

I just told them the truth.

Thank you.

How's Caleb?

Asleep, and in good hands.

You should head home, get some rest.

What I said earlier...

that's not really me.

We get punished for breaking into drug lockers Avrum,

not for being human.

Oh Neeta, I won't be able to make our sit down later today.

Well, we'll reschedule for tomorrow.

Tomorrow, that's even worse than today.

Okay. Um, you wanna propose a time then?

Sure. I'll find out and I'll get back to you.

Do we have a problem here, Mark?

Not from where I'm standing.

It should go...

Dr. Leblanc?

- Hi. - She's all better, Mama.

I came to find you Dr. Devi

but I found this young doctor instead.

You want to go to my desk and draw while I talk to Dr. Leblanc?

Please.

How are you feeling, Mags?

Like I need a job.

Dr. Fisher said I could get back to mine

when everything else is behind me.

But you don't agree?

Well the thing is, I'll recover from the episode

but it'll never be behind me, not in any real way.

And even I've been in denial about that.

So that's why I was kind of hoping

that you would let me come back to emerg.

I'm sure you've heard things are kind in flux right now.

Yeah, I'm not denying that I would need

some kind of accommodations but...

I believe in what you're doing

and I think you could use a doctor

who knows what it's like to be a patient.

And also maybe an ally?

Are you sure you want to make yourself that vulnerable?

No.

But I don't think I have a choice.

Dr. Esfahani!

Hi there.

- Quite a day. - Yeah.

Uh, what you did with Gurjeet, what we did,

I hated it.

Yet our day ends as it began.

With you stalking me?

What I said to him about not wanting to be a victim anymore...

You're right. It did get personal.

I know it did, Bashir.

So do you think you can help me?