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[Adult Adam] Back in the '80s,
audiences loved the John Candy movieUncle Buck,
2
00:00:06,354 --> 00:00:09,139
about a ne'er-do-well uncle
called upon to watch his brother's kids.
3
00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:11,576
But nobody loved it more
than me and my brother Barry.
4
00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:13,665
He washed clothes
in the microwave
5
00:00:13,839 --> 00:00:15,841
and dried them
on the ceiling fan!
6
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,887
He's a menace,
and you root for him!
7
00:00:18,061 --> 00:00:20,194
His garbage car
is spewing smoke on the school carpool!
8
00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:22,326
The children are coughing!
They're in harm's way!
9
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:24,372
Turn that crap off.
10
00:00:24,546 --> 00:00:27,070
My pregnant brain hates
that blathering idiot.
11
00:00:27,244 --> 00:00:30,291
She'd be much obliged
if you'd kindly watch your film elsewhere.
12
00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:32,510
I'm her awfulness-to-politeness
translator. It's been a full-time job lately.
13
00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:33,772
[Erica] Mom!
14
00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:35,426
What do you need,
Schmoopy-Doo?
15
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,341
Let mama bird cater
to her life-giving
16
00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:39,430
-baby bird's every need.
-I'm here, too.
17
00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:40,736
You know, for when
my wife needs catering.
18
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:42,564
How ya feeling, Pumpkin?
19
00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,566
Ready to pop that baby
into my waiting arms?
20
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:47,090
That sounds nothing like
our four-page birth plan.
21
00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:49,571
Right now all I want
is for someone to turn off this dumbness.
22
00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:51,007
How dare you ask us
to turn off
23
00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:52,835
John Candy's
number-one comedy film
24
00:00:53,009 --> 00:00:54,706
in the subcategory
"Babysitting"!
25
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,318
Oh, I love him
in that one movie with the guy.
26
00:00:57,492 --> 00:00:59,450
You know, um, eh,
the one with the face.
27
00:01:00,756 --> 00:01:02,714
Uh, Adam knows
what I like.
28
00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:04,542
-[sighs] Stripes. -That's the one!
29
00:01:04,716 --> 00:01:07,328
Oh, he is
comedically unhealthy
30
00:01:07,502 --> 00:01:08,894
and shouldn't defend
this country.
31
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,983
He's not just hilarious.
32
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,594
He's also teaching us
how to be uncles.
33
00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:14,987
The only thing that clumsy oaf
is teaching anyone
34
00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:17,207
is to never leave your kids
alone for a minute.
35
00:01:17,381 --> 00:01:18,730
Why is he feeding beer
to a dog?
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00:01:18,904 --> 00:01:20,080
'Cause he's recklessly
hilarious!
37
00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:21,864
No one is safe
from his antics.
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00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:23,474
Do you dopes
really think
39
00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:25,215
this is an okay way
for uncles to behave?
40
00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:26,651
-With all my heart.-I'd stake your
unborn child on it.
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00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:28,653
Okay, well,
that seals it.
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00:01:28,827 --> 00:01:30,612
You two will neverbe allowed
anywhere near our baby.
43
00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:32,875
-Whoa!
-Whoa, indeed!
44
00:01:33,049 --> 00:01:35,834
How do you expect us to
"Uncle Buck" a baby from afar?
45
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,575
I don't want my baby
to be "Uncle Bucked."
46
00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:40,839
Cheggit.
He made a pancake so huge,
47
00:01:41,013 --> 00:01:42,493
he's serving it
with a shovel.
48
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,843
Breakfast has never been
more zany!
49
00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:47,411
Well, that's actually
the only appealing thing about this whole movie.
50
00:01:47,585 --> 00:01:49,021
Geoff,
make me that pancake.
51
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,285
Uh, I wish I could,
my cranky angel,
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00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:53,461
but I don't think anyone's ever
made a pancake that large.
53
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,115
[in singsong voice]
Get it while it's hot!
54
00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:57,073
-Didn't even see her leave.
-What in the hell?
55
00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:58,422
She literally bends time!
56
00:01:58,596 --> 00:02:00,381
You're the best, Mama.
57
00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:01,991
Thank God someone sees
to my wants and needs.
58
00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:03,645
Hurtful to the man
who was up all night
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00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:05,473
scratching
your unreachables.
60
00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:07,214
I want some of that impossibly
large morning entree.
61
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,216
Me too!
Giant flapjack me!
62
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:10,608
Mama! Geoff!
Circle the wagons!
63
00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:12,175
Protect my cake!
64
00:02:12,349 --> 00:02:14,177
Unh! Ow! Ow!
65
00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:16,005
♪♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪♪
66
00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:18,355
♪♪ But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say ♪♪
67
00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:23,534
♪♪ I don't know the future ♪♪
68
00:02:23,708 --> 00:02:27,059
♪♪ But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪♪
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00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,540
[Adult Adam]
It was October 19th, 1980-something,
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00:02:29,714 --> 00:02:32,804
and life for our family
was about to change forever.
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00:02:32,978 --> 00:02:34,502
-It's time!
Go! Go! Go! -Gah!
72
00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:36,547
It's 3:00 a.m.!
What the hell?
73
00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:38,158
Your water broke!
You're having a baby!
74
00:02:38,332 --> 00:02:39,463
I should put on pants!
75
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:40,812
There's no time.
Is that a nightgown?!
76
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:41,857
It's a floor-length
sleep shirt!
77
00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:43,119
I have sleepy-time
heat issues!
78
00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:44,642
Get your sweats,
your comfy shoes,
79
00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:46,905
take this framed photo of me
for bedside inspiration.
80
00:02:47,079 --> 00:02:48,690
Go! Go! Go! Go!
81
00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,039
Wait. How did you know
my water broke?
82
00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:52,650
Uh, I heard it
from my bedroom.
83
00:02:52,824 --> 00:02:54,913
It was like a rolling,
gushing sound
84
00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:57,786
like, uh-- like the waves
on the North Shore of Hawaii.
85
00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,744
Okay, I'll never know the
mysteries of the female body,
86
00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:01,833
but wouldn't Erica be aware
of her water breaking?
87
00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:04,662
Enough chit-chat! We're wasting
valuable seconds, people!
88
00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:07,012
Is this another one
of your stupid drills?
89
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,797
Fine. It isa drill,
and you both failed miserably.
90
00:03:08,971 --> 00:03:10,668
Had this been the real thing,
91
00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:12,061
we wouldn't have even made it
to the hospital.
92
00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:13,541
I'd be yanking a baby
out of my daughter
93
00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:14,977
on the front lawn
of the Kremps' house.
94
00:03:15,151 --> 00:03:17,153
What a haunting
suburban tableau.
95
00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:19,590
Mom, enough
with the drills.
96
00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:20,504
Well, it's important
to be prepared.
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00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:21,940
Hopefully you'll do better
next time.
98
00:03:22,114 --> 00:03:23,594
Don't let there be
a next time!
99
00:03:23,768 --> 00:03:25,466
You're right. No more drills.
100
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:26,467
[chuckles]
101
00:03:26,641 --> 00:03:27,772
So don't expect one.
102
00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:30,558
-[door closes]-I can't go back to sleep.
103
00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:31,689
My heart is still pounding.
104
00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:32,690
You know
what I want, Geoff?
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00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:34,301
What, Schmoo?
106
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:35,476
-I said "Geoff"!
-She said "Geoff"!
107
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:38,305
Sorry!
I thought you said "Bev"!
108
00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:40,176
Okay, just let me know
if you need me, all right?
109
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:41,830
I mean, of course,
you need me,
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00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:44,224
but I am talking about, you
know, in the immediate sense.
111
00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:46,791
Just checking in
on needing me.
112
00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:49,881
Huh? No? Okay. Here I go.
113
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:57,193
Okay. Well, what I want is to
get my giant body in water.
114
00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:58,629
Okay.
So should I run a bath?
115
00:03:58,803 --> 00:03:59,804
You mean the one
that we share with Barry
116
00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:01,850
and all of his body hair?
117
00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:04,505
So, like, the pool
at the Jewish Community Center?
118
00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:06,985
I don't want to swim
where a rabbi's wife teaches water aerobics.
119
00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:10,075
I want a babymoon.
We still have three weeks.
120
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,121
Take me away somewhere
I can float and feel weightless.
121
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:13,905
Your wish is my command.
122
00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:15,646
Although it may be hard
to find a place
123
00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:17,779
to float in Philadelphia
in the fall,
124
00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:19,955
so is there by chance
a backup wish/command?
125
00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:21,086
Just make it happen.
126
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,479
On it, my surly dove.
127
00:04:22,653 --> 00:04:25,221
Whatever you do,
promise me that...
128
00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:28,137
[softly] she is
nowhere near us.
129
00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:30,226
Well, it is famously not easy
to get away from your mom.
130
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:31,314
Mom what? I heard "Mom."
131
00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:32,359
-Gah!
-Go!
132
00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,317
Fun mistake. Okay.
133
00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:36,276
I'll just wait
right outside this door
134
00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:37,494
for the inevitable
calling of my name.
135
00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:38,887
[chuckles]
136
00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:43,674
[Adult Adam]
As Erica desperately wanted to dodge my mom,
137
00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:45,023
Barry and I went
straight to his friends
138
00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:46,547
for some uncle-ing advice.
139
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:49,027
JTP but not lame Adam.
140
00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:51,203
[all]
JTP but not lame Adam.
141
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:52,770
Hard to not feel
deeply wounded, but nice to see you, fellas.
142
00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:54,424
No pleasantries!
143
00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:57,688
-The JTP's time
is too valuable. -Not really.
144
00:04:57,862 --> 00:04:59,299
You called me away from a mixer
with upper management.
145
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:01,431
Because it is important,
Matthew.
146
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:04,173
Our sister said we would be
"garbage uncles"
147
00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:05,827
and we won't be allowed
near her baby.
148
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,829
We have three weeks
to figure out
149
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,352
how not to suck
at uncle-ing.
150
00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:11,049
-Why us?
-It seems intuitive.
151
00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:12,399
For this,
I basically handed
152
00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:14,270
the Head of Regional Sales job
over to Lydia?
153
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:15,663
Well, you're here now,
154
00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:17,186
so let's start with,
"What is an uncle?"
155
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,230
-The husband of an aunt.
-Mother's brother.
156
00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:19,971
A cousin's male parent.
157
00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:21,886
-Your half-sister's stepdad.
-A father's brother.
158
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:23,279
Your dad's friend
who doesn't have his own kids.
159
00:05:23,453 --> 00:05:25,194
And famous uncles?
160
00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:27,805
Uncle Vanya,
the titular character from the Chekhov play.
161
00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:28,937
Only word I heard
is "titular."
162
00:05:29,111 --> 00:05:30,330
[chuckles] Next.
163
00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:32,157
Scrooge McDuck. Hah!
164
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,811
All that money,
and he couldn't fine peace.
165
00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:36,379
A personal hero.
But I hate feathers. Next!
166
00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:38,338
Uncle! Like
when you tap out
167
00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:39,687
and stop trying to
think of famous uncles.
168
00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:43,168
Wow! All truly
terrible examples.
169
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,909
You're no longer leading
this crucial meeting, Adam.
170
00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,824
I wasn't sure why we were here
until now, so that's fine.
171
00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:49,610
JTP, tell us how to
become good uncles.
172
00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:51,568
My Uncle Phil calls me
cool nicknames
173
00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:54,832
like "Sport," "Champ,"
and "Superstar."
174
00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:56,747
It's possible
he doesn't know my name.
175
00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,140
My uncle let me
drive his car. Oh, that's fun.
176
00:05:58,314 --> 00:05:59,576
Like, when you were 15
or something?
177
00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:01,143
No. No. Recently.
178
00:06:01,317 --> 00:06:02,666
Uh, I think his license
is suspended
179
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,364
and I just
taxied him around.
180
00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:06,496
Keep it coming, guys.
There are no bad ideas.
181
00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:09,934
I know. Why don't we go
to the park, right?
182
00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:13,634
And use candy to lure children
into Matt Bradley's van
183
00:06:13,808 --> 00:06:15,853
so we can practice
uncle-ing on them?
184
00:06:16,027 --> 00:06:19,248
When I said "no bad ideas,"
clearly I was off by one.
185
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:20,728
What if you practice
on Andy?
186
00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:21,685
He's the side
of an average baby.
187
00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:22,991
[groans]
Come on, man.
188
00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:24,949
Maybe you guys
are overthinking this.
189
00:06:25,123 --> 00:06:27,212
My brain's pretty jacked, so
that happens a lot. Continue.
190
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,389
Erica is going to be an anxious
mother with a newborn.
191
00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:31,129
She might just want you
to be responsible adults
192
00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:32,609
who are always there for her.
193
00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:34,916
Matt Bradley,
please stop punishing us
194
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:36,787
with your nonsense.
195
00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:38,441
Look, don't you guys
have an uncle?
196
00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:40,791
We do, and he's
a real piece of work.
197
00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,750
[Adult Adam]
I was talking about our Uncle Marvin.
198
00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:45,056
He was just as much of
an unpredictable loose cannon
199
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,362
as Uncle Buck.
200
00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:47,885
-[both chuckle]
-He's the worst.
201
00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:49,234
Can't do anything right.
202
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,671
There's your answer.
Why don't you just do
203
00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:52,063
the opposite of what
your uncle would do?
204
00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:53,500
I guess
that could maybe work.
205
00:06:53,674 --> 00:06:55,545
[Adult Adam]
And so we sort of had a plan.
206
00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:57,373
Which was to learn
at the feet of the master
207
00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:59,288
hownot to be an uncle.
208
00:06:59,462 --> 00:07:01,899
Hey!
My nephs came to visit!
209
00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:04,032
Wait a minute.
How did you find me?
210
00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:05,512
Your address was on the
"if any left over" section
211
00:07:05,686 --> 00:07:06,948
of our mom's
holiday-card list.
212
00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:09,733
Aww.
Well, that's not nothing.
213
00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:11,213
Is that the truck
from "The Fall Guy"
214
00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:13,041
in your
depressing carport?
215
00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:15,739
Yeah, it's the official
show-sanctioned replica.
216
00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:18,655
No way. That truck
is TV-vehicle royalty.
217
00:07:18,829 --> 00:07:20,788
Big-time,
and now it's mine,
218
00:07:20,962 --> 00:07:22,790
pending payment of
outstanding DMV fees.
219
00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:25,488
Enter.
My house is your house.
220
00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:27,969
But it also
might not be my house.
221
00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:29,710
The stupid city doesn't
consider it a legal dwelling.
222
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:33,714
Man!
Am I glad to see you boys.
223
00:07:33,888 --> 00:07:36,064
You know, ever since
your dad left us,
224
00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:38,066
I've been trying
to think of ways
225
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,328
that I could be more involved
in your lives.
226
00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:41,156
What about ever
visiting or calling?
227
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,375
Ohh!
Monday morning quarterback.
228
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:44,681
Look who's got
all the answers now.
229
00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:46,117
Here's the thing.
230
00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:47,989
Erica's baby is due
in three weeks,
231
00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:49,817
and we need to learn
how to be good uncles.
232
00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:52,123
Oh, my God.
I am beyond touched.
233
00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:53,211
You want the Uncle Marvin
playbook.
234
00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:54,561
Sure.
Let's say it that way.
235
00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:57,302
Celebratory sodas
all around!
236
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,869
[Adult Adam]
While we had come to the right place,
237
00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:01,002
the same couldn't be said
for Geoff and Erica.
238
00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:03,091
Here we are,
my swollen princess.
239
00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:04,875
It's so steamy and damp.
Where are we?
240
00:08:05,049 --> 00:08:06,790
You're at Tubs of Love,
241
00:08:06,964 --> 00:08:09,314
where consenting adults come
to do whatever they want.
242
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,012
[clicks tongue]Why did he wink?
243
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:12,796
Geoff, I need
so many answers.
244
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:13,710
Well, you said you wanted
to float in water
245
00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:15,146
without your mother.
246
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,148
So I made both those wishes
come true.
247
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:18,585
Good sir,
where do we change?
248
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:20,412
Changing rooms
are back there,
249
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:22,632
but just so you know, we are
a clothing-optional resort.
250
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:24,591
Resort? All I see are a bunch
of skanky hot tubs
251
00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:26,593
with couples in them.
252
00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,725
No, that guy's there
by himself.
253
00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,292
Correction-- his tub-mate
just surfaced.
254
00:08:30,466 --> 00:08:32,250
And so few people
opted for clothing.
255
00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:34,296
Geoff, how did you find
this place?
256
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:37,299
In the Yellow Pages,
under "Indoor Water-Themed Adult Experiences."
257
00:08:37,473 --> 00:08:40,476
Our rate is 20 bucks an hour
or 30 for a themed tub like
258
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,609
"Desert Oasis"
or "When in Rome."
259
00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:45,220
Ooh! "When in Rome"
sounds fun. Shall we?
260
00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:46,743
Ew. No, we shan't.
261
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:49,224
Geoff, pregnant ladies
can't even go in hot tubs.
262
00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:51,313
This was a giant
swing and a miss.
263
00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:53,097
Oh, dear Lord, there are
threepeople in that tub.
264
00:08:53,271 --> 00:08:55,099
Yeah, they fit up to eight
open-minded and slippery bodies.
265
00:08:55,273 --> 00:08:56,840
I'm gonna make something
very clear.
266
00:08:57,014 --> 00:08:59,582
I want to go home,
never come back here,
267
00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:01,062
and somehow surgically remove
the part of my brain
268
00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:03,325
where the memory
of this place is stored.
269
00:09:03,499 --> 00:09:04,848
Thank you for your hospitality.
We'll be leaving now.
270
00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:06,502
-Tell your friends!
-Seems unlikely.
271
00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:09,505
Ohh...no.
272
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,289
What is it, my grumpy peach?
Are you hungry?
273
00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:13,161
-I think
my water just broke. -Are you sure?
274
00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:14,771
I mean, the floor
is already covered in--
275
00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:16,033
I don't really want
to know.
276
00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:18,558
Yes, I'm sure, Geoff!
It's happening!
277
00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:19,820
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
278
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:20,647
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
279
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:25,913
[Adult Adam]
It was happening. My sister was going to have a baby,
280
00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:28,437
just nowhere near the hospital
where she and Geoff had planned.
281
00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:30,700
Okay. The doctor's
on his way in.
282
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:31,962
Oh, we don't need
the doctor.
283
00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:33,311
We just need to get
to our own hospital.
284
00:09:33,485 --> 00:09:35,357
Oh, you're not going anywhere.
[chuckles]
285
00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:40,275
Dudes! We're having a baby!
Up top!
286
00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:42,146
Left a bro hangin'.
Not cool.
287
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,106
Um, why is the doctor wearing
Air Jordans and a Swatch?
288
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,109
Did our baby
somehow sneak out of me and throw a lab coat on?
289
00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,546
Good one! I'm Dr. Schiff,
but everyone calls me Scotty.
290
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,200
Or Schiffy. Or Scoot.
291
00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:53,897
Or the occasional
Dr. Butthead.
292
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:55,638
Yeah, I can see that
for you.
293
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,248
Sorry.
You just look very--
294
00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:58,989
Young?
Yeah, I get that a lot.
295
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:01,296
But rest assured--
I'm a professional.
296
00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:04,473
Okay.
Let's have a looky.
297
00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:08,477
Whoa!
You are wicked dilating.
298
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:11,045
-Scooty Scoot, could you
give us a minute? -Totally.
299
00:10:11,219 --> 00:10:13,743
I'll just go crush
a quick round of "Centipede" in the break room.
300
00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,440
I cannot have Doogie Howser's
younger brother
301
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:16,833
-deliver our baby!
-Okay, I'll go find another doctor
302
00:10:17,007 --> 00:10:18,139
who might be more
unlike a child.
303
00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:19,575
And also
I need my mom.
304
00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:20,881
Ooh, here's the thing
about that.
305
00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:22,491
Why is there a thing
about that?
306
00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:24,232
Remember when you told me
to plan this babymoon
307
00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:25,973
and you didn't want her
to be a part of it?
308
00:10:26,147 --> 00:10:27,801
I did something to ensure
that she wouldn't be around.
309
00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:29,933
Oh, Geoff, so help me,
if you killed my mom--
310
00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:32,936
No, but I may have indicated
that we were going to the beach house.
311
00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:34,895
You sent her an hour
in the other direction?
312
00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:36,810
Possibly.
And also yes.
313
00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:40,117
-Get her here! Now!
On it, -my demanding flower.
314
00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:42,946
[Adult Adam]
Geoff's mission was clear-- get my mom to the hospital,
315
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:44,382
-no matter
how far away she was. -[phone rings, beeps]
316
00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:45,906
-Hello, Geoffrey.
-How'd you know it was me?
317
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,385
Who else knows I'm here?
318
00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,387
Listen.
Mrs. G, I can explain.
319
00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:51,825
No need to explain.
You didn't want me crashing your babymoon,
320
00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:53,478
so you told me it was here
at the beach house.
321
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,132
I'm so sorry,
but in my defense,
322
00:10:55,306 --> 00:10:56,568
doesn't the fact
that you went there
323
00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:57,918
to crash our babymoon
vindicate me?
324
00:10:58,092 --> 00:10:59,876
The [bleep] it does,
Geoffrey!
325
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:03,140
My daughter is about to
give life in three weeks.
326
00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:04,446
I want to be with her.
327
00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:06,883
About that.
Um, Erica's in labor!
328
00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:08,406
What?
I know. Yay.
329
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,191
Also, we're in the one-doctor
town of New Hope.
330
00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:12,454
Well, that's two
[bleep] hours from here!
331
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:14,195
Again with
the salty language.
332
00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:15,892
But if you leave now,
maybe you can make it.
333
00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:17,851
She's crossing her legs,
so you never know.
334
00:11:18,025 --> 00:11:20,157
That's a great idea, but,
uh, when I first got here,
335
00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:22,203
I was so hurt
by what you'd done to me
336
00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:24,248
that I drank an entire bottle
of Chablis
337
00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:27,338
that my neighbor had carelessly
left in her garage fridge.
338
00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:29,776
-Oh, no!
-You drove me to the bottle, Geoff!
339
00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:31,952
Okay. I'll send Barry and Adam
to pick you up. Just sit tight.
340
00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:34,737
To be clear,
when I finally do see you,
341
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:36,434
you and I have some
very unfinished business.
342
00:11:36,608 --> 00:11:38,915
That's the scariest
kind of business!
343
00:11:39,089 --> 00:11:40,743
[Adult Adam]
As my mom was gonna teach Geoff a lesson,
344
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:43,224
Opposite Uncle School
was in session.
345
00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:45,269
Compadres, I am
going to teach you
346
00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:48,142
how to be the greatest
uncles in...the...world.
347
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:49,970
Are...you...ready?
348
00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:51,275
-Hell yes!
-You know it!
349
00:11:51,449 --> 00:11:53,887
I gotta check out
these scratchers first.
350
00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:56,672
Lesson number one--
uncle-ing happens on yourtime.
351
00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:59,719
"On our time."
Got it.
352
00:11:59,893 --> 00:12:03,940
Damn it! I was three cherries
away, man! Three!
353
00:12:04,114 --> 00:12:06,464
[Adult Adam]
Yep, we were about to learn everything not to do.
354
00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:08,249
Think about it.
The kid's parents aren't gonna
355
00:12:08,423 --> 00:12:10,773
bail on him
for holidays and birthdays,
356
00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:13,341
so it leaves the door wide open
for youto bail on them.
357
00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:16,257
"Bail on significant
life events."
358
00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:18,041
Another important function
of the uncle
359
00:12:18,215 --> 00:12:21,131
is to provide
a loophole around the "legal drinking age."
360
00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:23,612
"Play fast and loose
with our nation's laws."
361
00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:25,092
Where's the queen?
Where's the queen?
362
00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:26,397
Where can it be?
Where can the queen be?
363
00:12:26,571 --> 00:12:28,051
Is it over here?
Can the queen be here?
364
00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:30,097
The queen is here. Is it here?
Where's the queen?
365
00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:31,315
I'm so convinced
she's on the left,
366
00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:33,100
I will up my bet to $20.
367
00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:34,841
-Ooh, wrong again.
-Damn it!
368
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,364
That was
my textbook money!
369
00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:38,801
Now it's my chicken-fried
steak money. Ba-bam!
370
00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:41,151
"Swindle children
without remorse."
371
00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:43,588
Most uncle-ing happens
around the margins.
372
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,547
-[sniffs]
-Baby's first R-rated movie?
373
00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:47,070
-[fingers snap]-That's where you come in.
374
00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:48,637
Baby needs a diaper change?
375
00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:49,725
-[fingers snap]
-That's where you go out.
376
00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:50,813
You getting all this?
377
00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:51,945
"Be the worst." Got it.
378
00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:53,555
Okay, let's recap.
379
00:12:53,729 --> 00:12:55,513
If the kid's birthday
is April 10th,
380
00:12:55,687 --> 00:12:57,080
when should
your card arrive?
381
00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:59,474
-Never.
-Cards are a gateway to gifts.
382
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:02,912
And now you know all
the knowledge known to man.
383
00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:05,306
Why does your notepad
say "opposite"?
384
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:06,655
Uh...
385
00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:08,831
Uh...
386
00:13:09,614 --> 00:13:11,355
Uh...
387
00:13:13,227 --> 00:13:15,272
"Never do the following."
388
00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:16,926
Geez, Bar!
You could have been
389
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,798
a bit more savvy
with your note-taking.
390
00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:21,322
Did you two come here
to learn how notto be uncles?
391
00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:23,803
Uncle Marvin,
it's nothing personal.
392
00:13:23,977 --> 00:13:25,543
We think
you're the greatest.
393
00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:27,589
You're super fun,
like our own Uncle Buck.
394
00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:29,634
Except, you know,
not exactly a model
395
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,288
of reliability
and follow-through.
396
00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:35,031
So I'm a joke. A dope.
A screw-up.
397
00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:36,554
See? He gets it.
398
00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:38,252
[telephone rings]
399
00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:39,862
Can I call you back?
400
00:13:40,036 --> 00:13:41,603
I gotta pull this knife
from my chest.
401
00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:43,910
Huh? Y-Yeah.
402
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:46,390
Hold on. It's for you.
Sounds like someone real sweaty.
403
00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:48,218
Geoff?
404
00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:49,524
Oh, thank God!
The JTP said you were there
405
00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:51,395
getting "opposite
uncle lessons"?
406
00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:53,136
Don't explain.
Your sister's having a baby.
407
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:54,703
You need to get your mom.
408
00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:56,313
She drank too much ice wine
at the beach house.
409
00:13:56,487 --> 00:13:57,749
The New Hope hospital.
410
00:13:57,924 --> 00:13:59,490
-New Hope. Got it!
-[receiver hangs up]
411
00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,536
We gotta jam.
Erica's having a baby.
412
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,843
Congrats! Oh, wow.
413
00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,888
That sounds like something
that I might kinda
414
00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:07,455
want to be a part of.
415
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:09,326
But only on
your own time.
416
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,242
Yeah. No obligations, right?
See you whenever.
417
00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:13,983
[Adult Adam]
As we were off to get our mom,
418
00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:16,943
Geoff finally had everything
under control.
419
00:14:17,117 --> 00:14:18,466
Barry and Adam are on their way
to get your mom
420
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:19,989
and bring her here,
and I talked to Scotty.
421
00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:21,599
Turns out he just
took over the practice
422
00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:23,166
from his recently retired
father,
423
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:24,472
so I had him ask his dad
to come in.
424
00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:26,517
-Oh, phew.
-Greetings!
425
00:14:26,691 --> 00:14:29,999
You must be, uh,
Greta and...Eric?
426
00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:32,959
Uh, it's Geoff and Erica.
She's Erica.
427
00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:36,005
Confound it.
Where did I put my bifocals?
428
00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:37,789
-That's Scotty's father?
-[door closes]
429
00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:39,443
Was it, like,
a second marriage?
430
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:41,576
Isn't there a generation
in between? Or two even?
431
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,404
I don't know
their family history.
432
00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:45,101
I'm learning
in real time
433
00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:46,624
that they represent
the extremes of the age spectrum.
434
00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:48,365
I want my mom.
I want my mom now!
435
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:50,367
She's coming,
but in the meantime,
436
00:14:50,541 --> 00:14:51,803
I found some other
comforting adults.
437
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,153
Mazel tov!
438
00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:54,937
We couldn't be
more excited!
439
00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:56,417
Absolutely not.
440
00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:57,418
But they're my parents.
441
00:14:57,592 --> 00:14:58,985
And I'm a man
of medicine.
442
00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:01,988
You work on eyes!
Go help our blind doctor!
443
00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:04,947
-We'll be in the waiting room.
-She's very scary!
444
00:15:05,121 --> 00:15:07,254
[Adult Adam]
While storm clouds were brewing over the delivery room,
445
00:15:07,428 --> 00:15:08,908
Barry and I were
driving our mom
446
00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:10,561
through some
pretty steady rain.
447
00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:12,302
Thank you, boys,
for picking me up.
448
00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:14,043
Of course, Mama.
Nothing could stop us
449
00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:15,436
from getting you
to that hospital.
450
00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:16,654
[engine revs]
451
00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:18,526
What the--
452
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:20,745
Damn it!
We're stuck in mud!
453
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,138
-[horn honks]
-Dirt's wet cousin!
454
00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:25,620
[crying] No!
455
00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:28,231
Okay, this is lightly on me for
saying nothing could stop us.
456
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:35,412
[Adult Adam] Erica's baby
was coming any minute,
457
00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:38,720
but we weren't going anywhere,
so Barry swung into action.
458
00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:42,245
My Lou Ferrigno-like strength
will get us out of this mess!
459
00:15:42,419 --> 00:15:44,334
Hit it, Adam,
and I'll push!
460
00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:47,381
One! Two!
461
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:48,730
Three!
462
00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:51,037
[engine revs]
463
00:15:51,211 --> 00:15:54,518
Oh, no.
464
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:57,347
My contemporary
stylish pants!
465
00:15:57,521 --> 00:15:58,783
And we're deeper in.
466
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,917
Get over. Get over.
Ugh!
467
00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:04,485
Well, thank you
for trying, boys.
468
00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,443
You did good.
Unlike Geoffrey.
469
00:16:06,617 --> 00:16:08,315
Oh, don't be so hard
on him, Mama.
470
00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:10,317
Yeah, that nervous nerd
means well.
471
00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:12,710
Oh, I will be
plentyhard on him.
472
00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:14,582
He made me miss the birth
of my grandchild
473
00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:17,106
and future best friend!
474
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,804
[Adult Adam]
Yeah, all hope was lost, and then this happened.
475
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,850
-[brakes squeal]
-Oh, no!
476
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,460
It's an unsophisticated
rural type!
477
00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:24,940
He'll know we're not
from these parts
478
00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:26,202
and make quick work
of us city folk!
479
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:28,248
What-- Duck down!
480
00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:30,250
Ow! I'm not
limber enough!
481
00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:32,643
Damn my careless attitude
towards exercise!
482
00:16:32,817 --> 00:16:34,341
Adam, Adam, tempt him
with your soft eyes
483
00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:36,082
so I can hit him
with my shoes, okay?
484
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:38,475
No, I won't be
your hillbilly bait.
485
00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:41,174
Adam, just befriend
the country gentleman
486
00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:43,654
so your brother
can sucker-punch him with his footwear!
487
00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:46,440
It wasn't a good plan,
but fortunately, we didn't need it.
488
00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:48,398
-Marvin?
-How's it going?
489
00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:50,835
-What are you doing here?
-I'm rescuing my family.
490
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,924
Was I cool?
It sounded cool.
491
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:56,232
[laughs] Let's ride!
We got a baby to meet!
492
00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:57,973
Hah! That was
really fun to say.
493
00:16:58,147 --> 00:16:59,409
You saved us,
Uncle Marvin!
494
00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:01,107
I know. I'm trying
to be a better uncle.
495
00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:02,630
How about I go to the hospital
with you guys?
496
00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:05,415
-We'd love that!
-For sure!
497
00:17:05,589 --> 00:17:07,765
[Adult Adam]
Sure, he may have been a screw-up like Uncle Buck,
498
00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:10,290
but that night,
Uncle Marvin was a hero,
499
00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:12,901
and not a moment too soon.
500
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:15,251
-Oh, God, it hurts!
-I'm so sorry, my love.
501
00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,297
I would take all the pain
if I could.
502
00:17:17,471 --> 00:17:19,168
I wish you could, too.
All of it!
503
00:17:19,342 --> 00:17:21,518
-Erica, it's time.
-Time?
504
00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:22,998
Oh, you mean the thing that
you don't have much left of?
505
00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:24,304
Sorry.
The pain and my failures
506
00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:25,566
have made my lady-love
very direct.
507
00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:27,133
She's here!
508
00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:28,569
You may have
this baby now.
509
00:17:28,743 --> 00:17:30,266
Mom!
510
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:33,139
Beverly Goldberg.
Mama of the mama.
511
00:17:33,313 --> 00:17:35,445
Babe, you did it.
Thank you.
512
00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:37,360
I love you so much.
513
00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:40,189
Doctor, if you need help,
I'm almost a doctor.
514
00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:42,191
I'm not at all a doctor,
and I just accidentally
515
00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:43,714
saw some stuff,
so I'm gonna wait outside.
516
00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:47,022
You all need to wait outside,
except for the husband!
517
00:17:47,196 --> 00:17:51,200
And her.
She stays, too.
518
00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:54,029
[Adult Adam]
Despite being stuck hours away in the pouring rain,
519
00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:56,684
we'd pulled off a miracle.
520
00:17:56,858 --> 00:17:58,381
Sure, she wasn't thrilled
with Geoff,
521
00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:01,689
but in that moment,
all my mom could think about
522
00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:03,734
was that her baby
was about to have a baby.
523
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:09,044
♪♪ Oh, thinkin' about
our younger years ♪♪
524
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:14,484
♪♪ There was only you and me ♪♪
525
00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:17,139
♪♪ We were young and wild
and free ♪♪
526
00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:22,492
♪♪ Now nothing
can take you away from me ♪♪
527
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:28,063
♪♪ We've been down that road
before ♪♪
528
00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:31,327
♪♪ But that's over now ♪♪
529
00:18:31,501 --> 00:18:35,244
♪♪ You keep me comin' back
for more ♪♪
530
00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:38,682
♪♪ Baby, you're all
that I want ♪♪
531
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:42,077
♪♪ When you're lyin' here
in my arms ♪♪
532
00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:44,862
♪♪ I'm findin' it
hard to believe ♪♪
533
00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:46,255
♪♪ We're in heaven ♪♪
534
00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:52,218
♪♪ And love is all that I need ♪♪
535
00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:54,220
♪♪ And I found it there
in your heart... ♪♪
536
00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:56,047
[Dr. Schiff] Here we go.
And push.
537
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:57,919
♪♪ It isn't too hard to see ♪♪
538
00:18:58,093 --> 00:19:00,008
-[groaning] -♪♪ We're in heaven ♪♪
539
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:01,705
[Adult Adam]
And just like that, the person
540
00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:04,186
we had all been waiting for
finally arrived.
541
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,710
It's a girl.
542
00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:10,714
That day, the world welcomed
a new Goldberg.
543
00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:14,675
Everyone, meet Muriel Allison
Goldberg Schwartz.
544
00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:17,678
Muriel, after Murray.
545
00:19:17,852 --> 00:19:19,854
Is Allison
for Albert?
546
00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:22,030
You know it.
547
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:24,946
Pops would be so proud.
548
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,688
[Adult Adam]
Yeah, in a year filled with too many goodbyes,
549
00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:30,430
this was a hello
that brought us all together,
550
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:32,693
even those of us
no longer here.
551
00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:34,738
'Cause nothing
fills you with hope
552
00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:36,958
more than a brand-new baby.
553
00:19:37,132 --> 00:19:39,265
Mrs. G,
I-I need to apologize.
554
00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:41,789
[gasps] Geoffrey,
you shut your sweet mouth.
555
00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:44,270
After what
you've given me today,
556
00:19:44,444 --> 00:19:47,055
you don't ever need to
apologize to me again.
557
00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:48,839
♪♪ It isn't too hard to see ♪♪
558
00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:51,407
Oh, so beautiful.
559
00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:54,932
Perfection.
Sheer perfection.
560
00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:56,717
[Adult Adam] She really was.
561
00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:59,067
Muriel changed all our lives
that day.
562
00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:00,721
You dopes
want to hold your niece?
563
00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:02,766
-Seriously?
-Could we?
564
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:05,508
[Adult Adam]
I'd never held a baby before.
565
00:20:05,682 --> 00:20:08,990
I couldn't believe how tiny
and warm and sweet she felt
566
00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:11,732
and how I could immediately
love someone I just met.
567
00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:14,343
I know what I said before,
568
00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:16,302
but you two are
going to be amazing uncles.
569
00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:17,738
How could we not?
570
00:20:17,912 --> 00:20:18,869
We learned
from the best.
571
00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:22,873
I do what I can.
572
00:20:23,047 --> 00:20:25,224
[Adult Adam]
Yeah, our family had gone through a lot that year,
573
00:20:25,398 --> 00:20:28,314
but that's the amazing thing
about life.
574
00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:31,360
Just when you think things
will never be okay again,
575
00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:34,537
here comes a miracle
that proves you way wrong.
576
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:36,887
I'm a bubbe!
577
00:20:37,061 --> 00:20:39,325
And that is
pretty damn awesome.
578
00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:50,031
I think we all can agree that
Uncle Buck did one thing right,
579
00:20:50,205 --> 00:20:51,989
and that's
the giant pancake.
580
00:20:52,163 --> 00:20:54,601
-Big is beautiful.
-He wasted so much food!
581
00:20:54,775 --> 00:20:57,386
But why stop there, when
there are so many other meals
582
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,258
that we can enlarge to their
atomic breaking point?
583
00:20:59,432 --> 00:21:00,911
Let us begin!
584
00:21:01,085 --> 00:21:05,176
Behold the McMarvin
quarter tonner!
585
00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:06,482
-I don't know where
to put my mouth. -I do.
586
00:21:06,656 --> 00:21:07,831
I always do.
587
00:21:09,659 --> 00:21:12,662
Two gallons of Rocky Road
carefully molded
588
00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:15,099
into a single scoop
of creamy deliciousness.
589
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,971
Sorry, belly,
you're in trouble.
590
00:21:17,145 --> 00:21:19,060
Nuts and marshmallows
for days!
591
00:21:19,234 --> 00:21:20,322
Meatballs!
592
00:21:20,496 --> 00:21:22,585
Oh, yeah.
Get the sauce.
593
00:21:22,759 --> 00:21:24,108
-Mmm.
-Should the middle be this pink?
594
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:25,414
Or this cold?
595
00:21:27,024 --> 00:21:29,288
Bigger is not better.
Movies have failed us!
596
00:21:29,462 --> 00:21:29,940
Ohh!
597
00:21:29,990 --> 00:21:34,540
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