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1
00:00:53,999 --> 00:00:56,133
Agh!
2
00:01:01,934 --> 00:01:02,999
Testing!
3
00:01:07,372 --> 00:01:09,372
Well, that seems pretty conclusive.
4
00:01:09,373 --> 00:01:11,371
She can also hear us.
5
00:01:39,773 --> 00:01:41,371
Clear!
6
00:01:41,372 --> 00:01:44,371
This room gonna get some DIY!
7
00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:45,372
DIY!
8
00:01:45,373 --> 00:01:47,372
What is this impudence?!
9
00:01:49,372 --> 00:01:52,371
This is my room, do you hear me?
My room!
10
00:01:52,372 --> 00:01:56,371
What sort of heathen just barges in
on a lady while she's sleeping?
11
00:01:56,372 --> 00:01:57,772
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
12
00:01:59,372 --> 00:02:00,372
What on earth is going on?
13
00:02:00,373 --> 00:02:03,371
# Daddy gonna drill
a hole in the wall... #
14
00:02:03,372 --> 00:02:05,371
Daddy is not drilling any holes in
any...
15
00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,371
This is beyond the pale!
16
00:02:10,372 --> 00:02:11,505
No. What are you do...?
17
00:02:15,373 --> 00:02:19,371
Oh, you have got to be joking.
18
00:02:19,372 --> 00:02:22,371
Mike!
Er...
19
00:02:22,372 --> 00:02:24,371
Oh! This looks fun!
20
00:02:24,372 --> 00:02:27,371
I'm going to call it the smile hole.
21
00:02:27,372 --> 00:02:29,772
Hello, Lady Button! Morning!
22
00:02:29,773 --> 00:02:30,906
Mike!
23
00:02:30,907 --> 00:02:34,371
No, no, no! You can't just leave it
like this. Where are you going? You
can't just...
24
00:02:34,372 --> 00:02:36,371
So, what's your favourite morning
song?
25
00:02:36,372 --> 00:02:37,372
I think mine is...
26
00:02:37,373 --> 00:02:41,372
# There's a lark in the bushel
at the corner of the... #
27
00:02:43,773 --> 00:02:45,505
Mike!
Er...
28
00:02:49,372 --> 00:02:50,772
They're back!
Who?
29
00:02:50,773 --> 00:02:52,372
Them!
30
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,906
Er...
31
00:02:55,907 --> 00:02:59,306
Don't shriek, you ill-bred hen.
It is unseemly for a lady to...
32
00:03:00,372 --> 00:03:05,173
Him! Cover that up at once.
You beastly wretch!
33
00:03:05,174 --> 00:03:09,371
I refuse to be taunted in my own
home by that lying, cheating...
34
00:03:09,372 --> 00:03:11,371
Ex-husband. You know how it is.
35
00:03:11,372 --> 00:03:14,772
Oh, we're the same height!
Do you need a tea?
36
00:03:14,773 --> 00:03:16,371
Lady coming through!
37
00:03:16,372 --> 00:03:18,371
What's your favourite colour?
38
00:03:22,372 --> 00:03:24,371
Oh, I do wish they wouldn't do
that! Aly!
39
00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:28,306
There's a cave one and there's an
Army one and there's one with no
pants on...
40
00:03:28,307 --> 00:03:29,371
And a first from Cambridge!
41
00:03:29,372 --> 00:03:30,906
And a first from Cambridge!
OK, OK.
42
00:03:30,907 --> 00:03:34,306
I know it may seem very real, but
remember what they said at the
hospital, yeah?
43
00:03:34,307 --> 00:03:36,371
"May experience visual
disturbances."
44
00:03:36,372 --> 00:03:37,372
But I can hear them too.
45
00:03:37,373 --> 00:03:39,371
And my Uncle Graeme,
he thought he could smell toast,
46
00:03:39,372 --> 00:03:40,372
but you know what?
There was no toast.
47
00:03:40,373 --> 00:03:42,371
He was having a stroke!
48
00:03:42,372 --> 00:03:44,371
He died, Mike.
OK, bad example.
49
00:03:44,372 --> 00:03:47,371
I'm just saying, think about it -
what's more likely,
50
00:03:47,372 --> 00:03:50,371
that you can see ghosts, or that
you're still suffering from severe
concussion?
51
00:03:50,372 --> 00:03:52,371
Ghosts.
Concussion.
52
00:03:52,372 --> 00:03:54,371
Exactly. You don't just...
53
00:03:54,372 --> 00:03:56,371
Robin, you've been here a while.
54
00:03:56,372 --> 00:03:58,371
Have you ever seen
anything like this before?
55
00:03:58,372 --> 00:03:59,372
One time, yes.
56
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:01,371
But was a bear.
57
00:04:01,372 --> 00:04:04,371
Bear was like, "Raargh!"
and I'm like, "Argh!"
58
00:04:04,372 --> 00:04:08,371
and then he like, "Ooh, hurr, hurr!"
And I'm like...
59
00:04:08,372 --> 00:04:10,371
"Woo!" And the bear's like...
60
00:04:18,372 --> 00:04:19,372
You had to be there.
61
00:04:19,373 --> 00:04:21,371
Rare, then.
Or magic?
62
00:04:21,372 --> 00:04:25,371
Black magic.
Perhaps she's just special.
63
00:04:25,372 --> 00:04:28,039
Indeed she is. And you'll be back
to your old self in no time.
64
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:29,371
Just give it a few days, yeah?
65
00:04:29,372 --> 00:04:30,372
OK.
66
00:04:33,372 --> 00:04:34,372
OK? Yep.
67
00:04:35,372 --> 00:04:38,371
So, Mike, what are you up to?
68
00:04:38,372 --> 00:04:41,371
Well, I'm hooking up all the stuff
that we can't live without.
69
00:04:41,372 --> 00:04:43,371
So like heating and hot
water and... TV.
70
00:04:43,372 --> 00:04:45,371
But the boiler's next on the list!
71
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:47,372
After that.
72
00:04:47,373 --> 00:04:49,371
Are you sure you know what you're
doing?
73
00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:52,371
No. But Google does,
so we're golden.
74
00:04:52,372 --> 00:04:56,371
Wowee.
That's quite the encyclopaedia.
75
00:04:56,372 --> 00:04:59,772
It's gotta be, what, two CD-ROMs,
min.
76
00:04:59,773 --> 00:05:03,371
It's all under control here,
so why don't you go and relax?
77
00:05:03,372 --> 00:05:06,371
Have yourself a nice war... tepid
bath.
78
00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:08,371
I'd like that.
ALISON: Ohh!
79
00:05:08,372 --> 00:05:10,371
One of them just said what I said.
80
00:05:10,372 --> 00:05:12,173
See? It's all in your head.
81
00:05:12,174 --> 00:05:13,906
Just give it a few days, yeah?
82
00:05:13,907 --> 00:05:15,371
Now go on - bath.
83
00:05:20,372 --> 00:05:22,505
Clearly, this changes things.
84
00:05:22,506 --> 00:05:24,371
By some quirk of fate, it would seem
85
00:05:24,372 --> 00:05:27,371
the new Lady Button...
She's no lady, and no Button.
86
00:05:27,372 --> 00:05:29,906
Well, whoever she is,
she can now both see and hear us,
87
00:05:29,907 --> 00:05:32,371
which opens up
some intriguing possibilities -
88
00:05:32,372 --> 00:05:35,371
chiefly the potential
for a full-frontal assault.
89
00:05:35,372 --> 00:05:38,505
Order them to leave. Face-to-face.
Yes!
90
00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:43,371
Well, conversings with the dead
be witchcraft.
91
00:05:43,372 --> 00:05:45,173
People been burned at the stake for
less.
92
00:05:45,174 --> 00:05:48,371
Except of course she isn't
truly conversing, is she?
93
00:05:48,372 --> 00:05:50,371
She may give ear to my overtures,
94
00:05:50,372 --> 00:05:53,639
but, alas, she is yet to respond...
to any of us.
95
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,306
She spoke to me.
96
00:05:55,307 --> 00:05:57,371
What? No, she did not.
Did. Said...
97
00:05:57,372 --> 00:05:58,639
Aaargh!
98
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,505
I don't think that's a word,
Robin. No.
99
00:06:00,506 --> 00:06:02,371
'Tis. I had cousin,
that's all he said.
100
00:06:03,373 --> 00:06:06,371
She's not conversing because
Mr Sledgehammer up there has
convinced her
101
00:06:06,372 --> 00:06:09,371
we are just figments
of her imagination,
102
00:06:09,372 --> 00:06:11,371
which is why we need
a change of tactics.
103
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:14,371
We work in shifts.
Campaign of attrition.
104
00:06:14,372 --> 00:06:15,372
Guerrilla war.
105
00:06:17,372 --> 00:06:18,372
Gorilla always win.
106
00:06:18,373 --> 00:06:21,371
Why is it always about war with you?
107
00:06:21,372 --> 00:06:24,371
Well...
What's wrong with a nice 'hello'?
108
00:06:24,372 --> 00:06:26,371
Maybe show them around.
109
00:06:26,372 --> 00:06:28,371
Then we could all sit down
and have a nice friendly chat
110
00:06:28,372 --> 00:06:31,371
about this whole hotel business.
It is nice to be friendly.
111
00:06:31,372 --> 00:06:34,039
Ideally more than friendly.
Befriended by you lot?
112
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,372
I can't think of anything more
annoying.
113
00:06:35,373 --> 00:06:37,371
In fact, you know what?
114
00:06:37,372 --> 00:06:39,372
Do that! Yeah, good plan.
115
00:06:39,373 --> 00:06:41,173
That'll send them running.
116
00:06:41,174 --> 00:06:43,906
Perhaps I should handle
the negotiations.
117
00:06:43,907 --> 00:06:45,371
Huh?
118
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:49,371
Well, I did, after all,
resolve the Arabian crisis of '91.
119
00:06:49,372 --> 00:06:53,306
What, you stopped a war?
No, I stopped a crisis.
120
00:06:53,307 --> 00:06:56,371
By starting a war, as it happens,
but, you know, that's not the point.
121
00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:59,371
The point is, I was lead envoy
in the negotiations.
122
00:06:59,372 --> 00:07:01,306
Utter toffee.
123
00:07:01,307 --> 00:07:03,371
You couldn't negotiate your way
out of a corn maze.
124
00:07:03,372 --> 00:07:06,639
How dare you!
125
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,371
I'm a respected politician
and diplomat,
126
00:07:09,372 --> 00:07:12,371
and I will not have my credentials
called into question
127
00:07:12,372 --> 00:07:14,371
by some work-shy Bohemian.
128
00:07:14,372 --> 00:07:17,371
That treaty was my legacy.
129
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:21,772
Oh, yeah, oh, very, very funny.
Fine!
130
00:07:21,773 --> 00:07:24,306
I'll prove it to you! Mmm. Yeah.
131
00:07:24,307 --> 00:07:26,371
Ho-ho! You'll see.
132
00:07:33,372 --> 00:07:34,372
Imagine that slammed!
133
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:41,174
# Daddy's gonna give it
some DIY, DIY... #
134
00:07:44,372 --> 00:07:46,372
Right. I'll show them.
135
00:08:01,372 --> 00:08:03,371
That's better.
136
00:08:03,372 --> 00:08:07,371
No, no, no, no, no - that's worse!
This is awful!
137
00:08:07,372 --> 00:08:09,371
I shall write to the owners.
138
00:08:09,372 --> 00:08:11,306
But where's my quill?
139
00:08:11,307 --> 00:08:14,772
Maybe I left it... downstairs.
140
00:08:14,773 --> 00:08:16,371
Oh, brick it up, you oaf.
141
00:08:16,372 --> 00:08:19,371
I refuse to spend eternity
in the company of a halfwit.
142
00:08:19,372 --> 00:08:21,371
I thought we were friends!
Friends
143
00:08:21,372 --> 00:08:23,906
are peers and intellectual equals,
Kitty.
144
00:08:23,907 --> 00:08:25,772
We are neither.
Fine!
145
00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:28,372
Then I'm not letting you go in my
canoe.
146
00:08:29,372 --> 00:08:30,372
I just...
147
00:08:30,373 --> 00:08:32,371
Right, then.
148
00:08:32,372 --> 00:08:34,372
Old boiler.
149
00:08:40,372 --> 00:08:42,372
This'll learn those berks.
150
00:08:58,907 --> 00:09:00,372
Hmm.
151
00:09:12,372 --> 00:09:14,039
Huh.
152
00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,371
There's nothing to be scared of.
153
00:09:19,506 --> 00:09:24,371
# Daddy gonna fix
the boiler now... #
154
00:09:24,372 --> 00:09:26,371
Hmm.
155
00:09:26,372 --> 00:09:30,371
# YouTube gonna show Daddy how... #
156
00:09:30,372 --> 00:09:32,372
Ooh!
157
00:09:42,372 --> 00:09:44,372
Come on!
158
00:09:47,373 --> 00:09:49,306
Ugh!
159
00:09:49,307 --> 00:09:50,371
Oh, it's not playing ball, is it?
160
00:09:53,372 --> 00:09:55,772
What's he doing?
Oh, no, Daddy.
161
00:09:55,773 --> 00:10:00,306
No, you need to prime the inlet
pump, open the induction loop,
162
00:10:00,307 --> 00:10:03,371
repressurise the system,
then connect the gas feed,
163
00:10:03,372 --> 00:10:05,371
and then ignite the...
164
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:06,372
Or just hit it with a hammer.
165
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:07,639
Unbelievable.
166
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,372
Technophobe.
Yeah.
167
00:10:09,373 --> 00:10:13,371
Right. It's going to take a
sustained assault to grind her down,
168
00:10:13,372 --> 00:10:14,372
so we'll take it in shifts.
169
00:10:14,373 --> 00:10:16,371
I'll go first! We have a connection.
170
00:10:16,372 --> 00:10:18,371
A frisson, if you will.
171
00:10:18,372 --> 00:10:20,371
Maybe I should go first.
Let her know the lay of the land.
172
00:10:20,372 --> 00:10:22,371
No. This is a military campaign,
173
00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:24,371
and I'm not the sort to bring up
the rear.
174
00:10:24,372 --> 00:10:25,772
No, I'll go first.
175
00:10:25,773 --> 00:10:28,173
Urgh!
And then you, Pat,
176
00:10:28,174 --> 00:10:29,371
and then Mary, and...
177
00:10:29,372 --> 00:10:31,371
Good heavens. What on Earth is
that?
178
00:10:31,372 --> 00:10:35,371
Ah, now, that is the front bit
of a television.
179
00:10:35,372 --> 00:10:37,371
I don't know where the back bit is,
180
00:10:37,372 --> 00:10:39,371
but that's the front!
Extraordinary.
181
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:42,639
Any luck with the boiler?
Nah, not really.
182
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:44,371
It's in a pretty bad way.
183
00:10:44,372 --> 00:10:46,371
Looks like some idiot
has taken a hammer to it.
184
00:10:46,372 --> 00:10:48,371
I'll have a look at it tomorrow.
185
00:10:48,372 --> 00:10:52,371
Connect this one to the one from the
roof
186
00:10:52,372 --> 00:10:54,371
and we should...
187
00:10:54,372 --> 00:10:56,306
...get a picture.
188
00:10:56,307 --> 00:11:00,174
Right. Over the top we go!
189
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:10,371
Now look here.
190
00:11:10,372 --> 00:11:12,371
As a officer of His Majesty's
Armed Forces...
191
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:16,371
...it is my duty to inform you that
you are considered an enemy
insurgent
192
00:11:16,372 --> 00:11:18,372
and you should surrender your
territories to incumbent forces
193
00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:20,639
- with immediate effect...
- # La-la-la-la-la-la... #
194
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:23,306
...or face the prospect... OK.
195
00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:24,371
Very good. I see what you're doing.
196
00:11:24,372 --> 00:11:26,371
# La-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la... #
197
00:11:26,372 --> 00:11:27,640
Two can play at that game!
198
00:11:37,372 --> 00:11:38,372
Ah!
199
00:11:38,373 --> 00:11:40,371
# I am the very model
of a modern Major-General
200
00:11:40,372 --> 00:11:42,307
# I've information vegeta...
201
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,306
# ...ble, animal and mineral
202
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:49,372
# I know the kings of England
and I quote the fights historical
203
00:11:49,373 --> 00:11:53,039
# From Marathon to Waterloo
in order categorical! #
204
00:11:54,372 --> 00:11:56,372
You can run, but you can't...
205
00:11:57,372 --> 00:11:59,373
Hello to you.
206
00:12:00,373 --> 00:12:02,371
Hello! And welcome!
207
00:12:02,372 --> 00:12:05,371
On behalf of me and my fellow
dead people, may I just say...
208
00:12:05,372 --> 00:12:07,371
Oh, straight onto the tour, OK!
209
00:12:07,372 --> 00:12:09,371
On your left is the Master's
chamber,
210
00:12:09,372 --> 00:12:11,039
or "chambre" - that's French.
211
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:12,371
Wait!
212
00:12:12,372 --> 00:12:14,640
You beautiful girl.
213
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:28,773
Oh, no.
214
00:12:30,372 --> 00:12:33,371
Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no.
215
00:12:33,372 --> 00:12:36,371
Up next, Hitler's
Secret Superweapons.
216
00:12:36,372 --> 00:12:39,371
Oh, good Chr... I mean, it's
Christmas, it's Christmas morning!
217
00:12:39,372 --> 00:12:41,372
Alison?
218
00:12:42,372 --> 00:12:43,372
Aly?
219
00:12:45,372 --> 00:12:47,372
What the bally hell
do you think you're doing, sir?
220
00:12:47,373 --> 00:12:49,306
What have you done with the tanks?
221
00:12:49,307 --> 00:12:50,372
You turn that back on this
instant...
222
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:53,372
Where are you going?
223
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:56,371
If you were dead,
I would thrash your bottom, sir!
224
00:12:56,372 --> 00:12:58,639
And there's been a settlement
on this site for well over...
225
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:00,371
Boo! ...well, a while now, although
this part
226
00:13:00,372 --> 00:13:02,371
of the building is only...
You're not real.
227
00:13:02,372 --> 00:13:04,371
Well, we're not alive, but we
are... I can't hear you.
228
00:13:04,372 --> 00:13:06,371
Well, clearly you can, because...
No, I can't.
229
00:13:06,372 --> 00:13:08,371
Well, it's just... you
keep answering me...
230
00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:09,372
No, I don't.
...so why...?
231
00:13:09,373 --> 00:13:10,906
My turn?
232
00:13:10,907 --> 00:13:13,371
Sorry, Tom, Captain said that Mary's
next.
233
00:13:13,372 --> 00:13:15,371
Get out my way,
you soppy bit o' rag.
234
00:13:15,372 --> 00:13:16,372
Good luck.
235
00:13:16,373 --> 00:13:18,371
Although she's not much of a one
for chitchat.
236
00:13:18,372 --> 00:13:20,371
Oh, don't you worries about me.
237
00:13:20,372 --> 00:13:23,040
I've got something up my sleeves.
238
00:13:25,307 --> 00:13:27,371
Get out, get out, get out, get out,
get out, get out, get out, get out,
239
00:13:27,372 --> 00:13:30,371
get out, get out, get out, get out,
get out, get out,
240
00:13:30,372 --> 00:13:31,372
get out, get out, get out...
241
00:13:37,372 --> 00:13:38,372
Boo!
242
00:13:38,373 --> 00:13:40,371
Oh, my...!
243
00:13:40,372 --> 00:13:42,307
Boo! Yes, to replace the boiler.
So it needs amending. My entry.
245
00:13:46,307 --> 00:13:47,371
To reflect my political
achievements.
246
00:13:47,372 --> 00:13:48,505
What did you say, sorry?
247
00:13:48,506 --> 00:13:50,906
There's plenty who've done worse
than I did, believe you me.
248
00:13:50,907 --> 00:13:52,371
My phone number...
249
00:13:52,372 --> 00:13:54,173
The MP for Watney got horses
involved.
250
00:13:54,174 --> 00:13:55,505
- 0-7-9...
Yeah, that's plural!
251
00:13:55,506 --> 00:13:58,371
0-7-9... Horses! It was the shire
ones as well. Sorry, 0-7...
252
00:13:58,372 --> 00:14:01,039
You know, the ones with the
flares? Can I call you back?
253
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,371
A lady employs a knife AND fork.
254
00:14:04,372 --> 00:14:07,371
A lady pinches. Whores use rouge.
255
00:14:07,372 --> 00:14:10,372
A lady does not hold a carrot like
that.
256
00:14:12,372 --> 00:14:15,371
A lady wouldn't tell me
to do that to myself!
257
00:14:16,373 --> 00:14:18,371
Get out, get out, get out, get out,
get out, get out, get out, get out,
258
00:14:18,372 --> 00:14:20,371
get out, get out, get out, get out,
get out, get out.
259
00:14:20,372 --> 00:14:22,371
Get out, get out, get out, get
out...
260
00:14:22,372 --> 00:14:24,371
..get out, get out, get out, get
out... No better?
261
00:14:24,372 --> 00:14:27,306
..get out, get out, get out, get
out, get out, get out, get out...
262
00:14:27,307 --> 00:14:29,371
Just give it till morning.
I'm sure it'll pass.
263
00:14:29,372 --> 00:14:33,306
...get out, get out, get out,
get out.
264
00:14:43,373 --> 00:14:45,371
# I...
265
00:14:45,372 --> 00:14:47,371
# ...am the very model of
a modern Major-General
266
00:14:47,372 --> 00:14:50,371
# I've information vegetable
animal and mineral
267
00:14:50,372 --> 00:14:53,371
# I know the kings of England
and I quote the fights historical
268
00:14:53,372 --> 00:14:57,371
# From Marathon to Waterloo
in order categorical! #
269
00:15:08,773 --> 00:15:10,372
Oh, God.
270
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:18,173
Boo!
271
00:15:18,174 --> 00:15:21,371
Agh!
I don't even feel the cold!
272
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,371
I am a strong, sane woman.
He'd crafted it from a rubber glove
273
00:15:25,372 --> 00:15:27,371
and was using the gravy as
lubricant.
274
00:15:27,372 --> 00:15:28,372
Challenges only make me stronger.
275
00:15:28,373 --> 00:15:31,371
And you can imagine the jokes
about "the Chancellor's red box".
276
00:15:31,372 --> 00:15:34,371
And then there was this Liberal
fellow, well, you can imagine what
he got up to.
277
00:15:34,372 --> 00:15:35,372
He was caught in a sailors' sauna,
278
00:15:35,373 --> 00:15:37,372
and he was not there
to learn about boats.
279
00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:40,371
Get out, get out, get out, get out.
280
00:15:40,372 --> 00:15:42,040
Get out!
281
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:52,371
Oh!
Alone at last.
282
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,039
Alison!
Oh, God!
283
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,371
A moment, please, I beg of you.
284
00:15:59,372 --> 00:16:00,372
You're in my head.
285
00:16:00,373 --> 00:16:03,371
And you in mine, my sweet!
286
00:16:03,372 --> 00:16:05,039
What are we doing?
287
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,371
You're married, I'm dead -
it can never work.
288
00:16:07,372 --> 00:16:09,306
Can it? Maybe it can.
289
00:16:09,307 --> 00:16:10,371
Like Romeo And Juliet,
290
00:16:10,372 --> 00:16:13,371
but specifically the bit
where he's already dead
291
00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:15,371
and she kills herself
to be with him?
292
00:16:16,373 --> 00:16:21,371
I am too bold. Forgive me.
Accurse my impetuous loins!
293
00:16:21,372 --> 00:16:24,371
You're not yet free of that
buffle-headed bobtail.
294
00:16:24,372 --> 00:16:27,371
I'll wait for you, my comely nug.
295
00:16:27,372 --> 00:16:29,371
Though some idea of timescale would
be...
296
00:16:29,372 --> 00:16:30,372
Oh!
297
00:16:30,373 --> 00:16:33,371
No, I understand,
this is all happening so fast.
298
00:16:33,372 --> 00:16:35,372
I can wait!
299
00:16:37,372 --> 00:16:39,371
Lord knows I've had the practice.
300
00:16:39,372 --> 00:16:41,371
Come on, man!
301
00:16:41,372 --> 00:16:42,372
I'm trying!
302
00:16:44,372 --> 00:16:45,505
Well, try harder, man!
303
00:16:45,506 --> 00:16:49,039
You! I demand you reactivate this
device with immediate effect!
304
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:51,371
Any joy with the people from
Goggle? Me again!
305
00:16:51,372 --> 00:16:54,371
Today I thought we could do halls
and common passageways.
306
00:16:54,372 --> 00:16:56,505
Get out, get out, get out, get out,
get out, get out.
307
00:16:56,506 --> 00:16:58,371
Darling! There you are.
Ohh...
308
00:16:58,372 --> 00:17:00,906
Now, I know I said no pressure,
but... None of it is real.
309
00:17:00,907 --> 00:17:02,371
None of it is real.
310
00:17:02,372 --> 00:17:04,307
A lady doesn't mumble. Ohh!
311
00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:06,372
Boo!
312
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:09,371
Don't suppose you've seen a body
anywhere?
313
00:17:09,372 --> 00:17:10,372
Is that a no?
314
00:17:21,506 --> 00:17:24,371
Will you be my friend?
315
00:17:24,372 --> 00:17:27,372
Agh!
316
00:17:34,372 --> 00:17:37,371
Do you think it's something we said?
317
00:17:37,372 --> 00:17:41,371
And press the hilt of the
venturi... What is a venturi?
318
00:17:41,372 --> 00:17:44,371
...into the domed brass union.
What's a union?!
319
00:17:47,372 --> 00:17:50,371
Don't panic. It takes
maybe ten, 20 seconds.
320
00:17:50,372 --> 00:17:52,371
Oh, that's good.
321
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,906
Oh, that's bad.
322
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,372
Mike!
Jesus, you scared me!
323
00:17:56,373 --> 00:17:59,306
It's no good, OK, I need to go
and get some...
324
00:17:59,307 --> 00:18:00,372
Holy Mary Mother of God!
325
00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:03,772
Oh, my God.
What's wrong?
326
00:18:03,773 --> 00:18:06,371
"What's wrong"?!
The room is full of zombies!
327
00:18:06,372 --> 00:18:08,371
Donkeys?
328
00:18:08,372 --> 00:18:09,772
Honey, I promise you it isn't.
329
00:18:09,773 --> 00:18:11,639
Then I have to go back to the
hospital and get some drugs
330
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,371
or some therapy or a bang on the
other side of my head,
331
00:18:13,372 --> 00:18:15,371
or whatever it takes to stop me from
seeing the cast of
332
00:18:15,372 --> 00:18:17,371
The Night Of The Dead every single
time I walk into a room!
333
00:18:17,372 --> 00:18:20,371
It's Night Of The Living De...
Not now.
334
00:18:20,372 --> 00:18:21,372
I can't go on like this, OK?
335
00:18:21,373 --> 00:18:24,906
So you either drive me to the
hospital right now, or I drive
myself.
336
00:18:24,907 --> 00:18:26,372
And I see things
that aren't there!
337
00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:28,373
Well, we are.
I'll get my keys.
338
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:31,371
Ohh. Red lever.
339
00:18:33,372 --> 00:18:36,306
Red lever!
Red lever!
340
00:18:36,307 --> 00:18:37,906
Red lever!
Red lever!
341
00:18:40,372 --> 00:18:42,371
What now? Aly?!
342
00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:45,173
What's wrong?
343
00:18:45,174 --> 00:18:46,371
Red lever!
344
00:18:46,372 --> 00:18:48,371
Red lever?
345
00:18:49,373 --> 00:18:51,639
Oh! On it!
346
00:18:58,372 --> 00:19:00,371
Oh, what?
347
00:19:07,372 --> 00:19:10,371
How did you know about the red...?
Maybe we should go.
348
00:19:10,372 --> 00:19:11,372
Yeah, yeah, we're going.
349
00:19:11,373 --> 00:19:13,371
No, no, no, I mean away from here.
350
00:19:13,372 --> 00:19:15,371
Just move out.
It just doesn't feel right.
351
00:19:15,372 --> 00:19:17,371
What? Why would you say that?
352
00:19:19,372 --> 00:19:21,039
It's hard to put my finger on.
353
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:24,371
All right. Just... one thing at a
time, yeah? We'll talk about this
later.
354
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:26,371
Ooh! Electric windows!
355
00:19:26,372 --> 00:19:28,371
Get out of here!
OK, OK!
356
00:19:41,372 --> 00:19:43,173
I say.
357
00:19:43,174 --> 00:19:44,371
Well, fascinating.
358
00:19:44,372 --> 00:19:48,371
But you don't see them now, do you?
359
00:19:48,372 --> 00:19:50,371
Not since we left the house.
360
00:19:50,372 --> 00:19:51,372
Maybe I'm on the mend!
361
00:19:51,372 --> 00:19:52,372
Mmm.
362
00:19:52,373 --> 00:19:54,371
Yes, I know how loans work.
363
00:19:54,372 --> 00:19:55,772
Sort of.
As I've said before, sir...
364
00:19:55,773 --> 00:19:58,371
But surely if we just give you
the money back, then...
365
00:19:58,372 --> 00:20:00,306
...we cannot end the agreement
now. Yes.
366
00:20:00,307 --> 00:20:02,371
Do you see?
Yes, I see.
367
00:20:02,372 --> 00:20:04,371
Do you think it was related
to the accident?
368
00:20:04,372 --> 00:20:06,505
Oh, yes, undoubtedly.
Oh, good.
369
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:09,371
So it should just... stop happening,
370
00:20:09,372 --> 00:20:10,372
as I heal?
371
00:20:10,373 --> 00:20:14,371
Well, my diagnosis -
based on what you've told me -
372
00:20:14,372 --> 00:20:17,371
is that your accident left you
so close to death yourself,
373
00:20:17,372 --> 00:20:19,906
you're now able to see dead people.
374
00:20:19,907 --> 00:20:21,772
What do you mean?
Well...
375
00:20:21,773 --> 00:20:23,306
can you see me?
376
00:20:23,307 --> 00:20:24,505
Yes.
Exactly.
377
00:20:24,506 --> 00:20:26,372
I'm dead.
378
00:20:26,373 --> 00:20:28,372
So sorry to have kept you.
379
00:20:29,373 --> 00:20:31,372
Oh, she's very good.
380
00:20:32,373 --> 00:20:34,039
Ohh!
381
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:35,371
What can I do for you?
382
00:20:35,372 --> 00:20:36,372
All right, listen to what I'm...
383
00:20:36,373 --> 00:20:38,371
Wait.
384
00:20:38,372 --> 00:20:40,372
The doctor's dead!
385
00:20:42,372 --> 00:20:44,306
I just...
386
00:20:44,307 --> 00:20:47,371
I don't understand. If it's come
back, why not accept the sedatives?
387
00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:50,371
I mean, they might help with...
Because...
388
00:20:50,372 --> 00:20:53,371
back at the house
I see the same faces every day.
389
00:20:53,372 --> 00:20:56,371
But at the hospital -
completely different ones.
390
00:20:56,372 --> 00:20:58,371
Different places, different faces.
391
00:20:58,372 --> 00:21:01,371
Why would my brain do that?
OK, that is...
392
00:21:01,372 --> 00:21:02,372
It wouldn't.
393
00:21:02,373 --> 00:21:04,371
Because they're not in here.
394
00:21:04,372 --> 00:21:05,506
They're out there.
395
00:21:26,174 --> 00:21:29,371
Right, we're selling up.
We'll buy a little new-build.
396
00:21:29,372 --> 00:21:32,371
One of those soulless little boxes
that I've always hated.
397
00:21:32,372 --> 00:21:37,371
One bed's fine. Just somewhere with
absolutely no past whatsoever.
398
00:21:37,372 --> 00:21:39,371
Right. Yeah.
399
00:21:39,372 --> 00:21:40,906
It's just...
400
00:21:40,907 --> 00:21:43,371
OK, well...
401
00:21:43,372 --> 00:21:45,371
I don't want you to get mad.
Am I going to get mad?
402
00:21:45,372 --> 00:21:49,371
Yes. I spoke to the loan people and,
with the prepayment penalties and...
403
00:21:49,372 --> 00:21:53,371
Well, long story short,
getting out now
404
00:21:53,372 --> 00:21:55,371
would probably bankrupt us.
405
00:21:55,372 --> 00:21:58,371
And I only added "probably"
to make it sound better.
406
00:21:58,372 --> 00:22:00,371
Didn't you read the contracts?!
407
00:22:00,372 --> 00:22:02,371
I gave them what I'd call
a lengthy skim.
408
00:22:02,372 --> 00:22:05,371
Oh, Mike, I could kill you!
409
00:22:05,372 --> 00:22:06,372
Ooh! Good idea!
410
00:22:06,373 --> 00:22:08,371
Though maybe not here,
just because he might...
411
00:22:11,372 --> 00:22:12,640
Right!
412
00:22:14,372 --> 00:22:17,372
Well, there's only one thing for it,
isn't there?
413
00:22:19,372 --> 00:22:21,371
Fine! I see you! OK?!
414
00:22:21,372 --> 00:22:23,173
I see Major-General Can't-Sing,
415
00:22:23,174 --> 00:22:25,371
I see Captain Cave-Prick,
I see all of you!
416
00:22:25,372 --> 00:22:27,371
OK? You win!
417
00:22:27,372 --> 00:22:28,372
Mission accomplished!
418
00:22:28,373 --> 00:22:30,371
I admit your existence.
419
00:22:30,372 --> 00:22:32,371
Now what the hell do you want?!
420
00:22:32,372 --> 00:22:34,371
We want you out of this house!
421
00:22:34,372 --> 00:22:35,372
Yes, you do not belong here!
422
00:22:35,373 --> 00:22:37,306
Well, that's tough, isn't it?
423
00:22:37,307 --> 00:22:39,371
Because thanks to
my resident mortgage advisor,
424
00:22:39,372 --> 00:22:40,372
we're stuck here!
425
00:22:40,373 --> 00:22:42,372
OK, you're officially
freaking me out.
426
00:22:42,373 --> 00:22:43,639
So how about you leave?
427
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:47,371
We can't leave. You sort of just
stays where you dies.
428
00:22:47,372 --> 00:22:49,371
And how you dies... died!
429
00:22:49,372 --> 00:22:50,505
It's your classic haunted house.
430
00:22:50,506 --> 00:22:53,371
Er, Alison...
Whoa. Right.
431
00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:55,039
So I can't go and you can't go.
432
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,371
So...
433
00:22:56,372 --> 00:23:00,906
what will it take to get you all
just out of my face, huh?
434
00:23:00,907 --> 00:23:03,371
What do you want?
What do you actually want?!
435
00:23:03,372 --> 00:23:04,373
Specifically! You?
436
00:23:06,307 --> 00:23:08,371
Right! I'll tell you what we want.
437
00:23:08,372 --> 00:23:09,907
We demand that...
438
00:23:11,372 --> 00:23:13,371
One hour a week of the thing about
tanks
439
00:23:13,372 --> 00:23:15,371
and anything on superweapons,
please? Thank you.
440
00:23:15,372 --> 00:23:17,371
Done! Next. It feels like I should
call someone?
441
00:23:17,372 --> 00:23:19,039
Who you gonna call?!
442
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,371
You, Sourpuss.
443
00:23:20,372 --> 00:23:24,371
Remove my husband's portrait,
and fill the hole in my wall!
444
00:23:24,372 --> 00:23:27,371
Done. You? Divorce him,
kill yourself, marry me.
445
00:23:27,372 --> 00:23:28,372
No. To which bit?
446
00:23:28,373 --> 00:23:31,039
You? I just wanted to say hello!!
447
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,371
Hello!
Oh, hello.
448
00:23:33,372 --> 00:23:35,371
And on behalf of myself
and my fellow ghosts...
449
00:23:35,372 --> 00:23:38,371
Listen. I want those slanderous
beggars at Goggle
450
00:23:38,372 --> 00:23:41,371
to amend my entry for the next
edition. I am a respectable...
451
00:23:41,372 --> 00:23:43,371
It doesn't work like that -
it's the internet.
452
00:23:43,372 --> 00:23:45,505
Right. And where are they based?
453
00:23:45,506 --> 00:23:49,371
It's everywhere. In every house in
the country, in the world.
454
00:23:49,372 --> 00:23:53,371
You mean every person on the planet
just thinks of me as the weirdo MP
455
00:23:53,372 --> 00:23:55,371
who died in some sex scandal?
456
00:23:55,372 --> 00:23:58,371
That was you?!
What? No!
457
00:23:58,372 --> 00:24:01,371
I don't want anything, actually.
Who's next?
458
00:24:01,372 --> 00:24:03,772
Renounce Satan, witch!
459
00:24:03,773 --> 00:24:05,371
Um... OK!
460
00:24:05,372 --> 00:24:08,371
Yeah, yeah, that's probably done it.
461
00:24:08,372 --> 00:24:12,371
And what about you, Budget Tarzan?
462
00:24:12,372 --> 00:24:13,372
What do you want?
463
00:24:13,373 --> 00:24:15,372
Oh, nuffin', thanks.
Nothing?
464
00:24:15,373 --> 00:24:17,372
So you just spent...
465
00:24:19,372 --> 00:24:21,371
So you just spent the last three
days
466
00:24:21,372 --> 00:24:25,371
hiding in every little tiny little
dark corner in this entire house,
467
00:24:25,372 --> 00:24:28,371
scaring me out of my mind,
468
00:24:28,372 --> 00:24:29,372
for no reason?!
469
00:24:29,373 --> 00:24:31,371
Well, it was something to do.
470
00:24:31,372 --> 00:24:33,371
My turn! I think we've got
a lot in common.
471
00:24:33,372 --> 00:24:35,371
OK, so I've just googled "psychotic
break"
472
00:24:35,372 --> 00:24:38,306
and I'm not saying that this is one,
but there is an article
473
00:24:38,307 --> 00:24:39,371
that I think you should have a...
474
00:24:39,372 --> 00:24:41,371
Mike, this isn't...
Can you just come with me?
475
00:24:41,372 --> 00:24:43,371
All of you!
476
00:24:43,372 --> 00:24:44,372
Where are you going?
477
00:24:44,373 --> 00:24:46,371
To shut you all up.
478
00:24:46,372 --> 00:24:49,371
Horsey to go dooka-dakka-deeko.
479
00:24:49,372 --> 00:24:51,371
Dooka-dakka-deeko.
480
00:24:51,372 --> 00:24:54,173
OK, you go.
481
00:24:54,174 --> 00:24:55,639
Shall I compare thee to a summer's
day?
482
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,372
Even more softly.
483
00:24:58,907 --> 00:25:00,371
When's our sleepover again?
484
00:25:00,372 --> 00:25:02,371
Eighth of March.
And what is it now?
485
00:25:02,372 --> 00:25:04,640
June.
Oh! So exciting!
486
00:25:05,907 --> 00:25:07,371
How long's this on for?
487
00:25:07,372 --> 00:25:09,639
I need to contact this Vicky Pedia.
488
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:11,371
Shh! Shh!
489
00:25:17,372 --> 00:25:18,372
Er, well played.
490
00:25:18,373 --> 00:25:22,371
Perhaps there is some Button blood
in those veins after all.
491
00:25:22,372 --> 00:25:23,372
Yeah.
492
00:25:23,373 --> 00:25:26,371
Well, I'm not sure I buy all this,
but I've moved the painting.
493
00:25:26,372 --> 00:25:27,505
And bricked up the hole?
494
00:25:27,506 --> 00:25:30,372
Yeah, I... filled... the hole.
495
00:25:33,372 --> 00:25:34,372
Argh!
496
00:25:34,373 --> 00:25:36,372
Oh, this will NOT stand!
497
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,039
Well, you seem happier.
498
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:43,371
The good news is I'm not mad.
499
00:25:43,372 --> 00:25:45,505
That's a relief.
What's the bad news?
500
00:25:50,372 --> 00:25:52,372
They are.
501
00:26:07,372 --> 00:26:08,372
Alison!
502
00:26:08,373 --> 00:26:11,372
Turn the right-hand dial
horizontal.
503
00:26:12,373 --> 00:26:14,372
And press the ignition.
504
00:26:15,372 --> 00:26:16,372
Hey!
505
00:26:17,372 --> 00:26:18,506
OK.
506
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:20,906
I believe you.
507
00:26:20,907 --> 00:26:22,371
And, er...
508
00:26:22,372 --> 00:26:24,371
...thank you?
509
00:26:24,372 --> 00:26:26,371
They say you're welcome.
"They"?
510
00:26:26,372 --> 00:26:28,373
You mean there's two of them?!
511
00:26:32,372 --> 00:26:33,372
Yes.
50052
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