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1
00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:05,483
I, for one, loathe that
we live in a surveillance state,
2
00:00:05,527 --> 00:00:07,311
but is there any chance
there is a security camera
3
00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:08,878
pointed towards
the bike rack?
4
00:00:08,921 --> 00:00:11,011
No. Our camera is pointed
at the drop-off line
5
00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,838
so I can see
which dads have nice cars.
6
00:00:12,882 --> 00:00:15,667
Why?
A bike has gone missing.
7
00:00:15,711 --> 00:00:17,147
Who would steal
a child's bike?
8
00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:19,715
Well, maybe not a child's,
but an adult's.
9
00:00:19,758 --> 00:00:21,325
Your bike got stolen?
10
00:00:21,369 --> 00:00:23,762
[ Laughs ]
11
00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:28,767
I saw an unfamiliar man milling
about the rack this morning.
12
00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:30,856
Okay, well,
what did he look like?
13
00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:37,689
U-Uh, I would say he had a,
you know,
14
00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:41,693
somewhat curly
and spherical haircut.
15
00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:42,955
An afro?
16
00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:44,261
It was--
Some might call it--
17
00:00:44,305 --> 00:00:45,784
You know what,
this feels reductive.
18
00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:47,873
No, no, no! No,
let's get to the bottom of this.
19
00:00:47,917 --> 00:00:49,353
Would you describe
this person
20
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:52,530
as someone who might
have difficulty getting a loan?
21
00:00:52,574 --> 00:00:54,097
You know what? It's fine.
[ Laughs ]
22
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:56,230
Was it really ever my bike, anyways?
23
00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:59,102
You know, does anyone
really own anything?
24
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:03,715
I will, uh, leave you
to ponder that query,
25
00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:06,979
and, uh, adieu.
26
00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:10,809
I suppose I won't
be needing this.
27
00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:14,552
[ Laughs ]
28
00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:18,295
[ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ]
29
00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:25,824
♪
30
00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:29,437
After reading the material
and looking at the data
31
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,091
from the past five years,
32
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,614
I have to agree with the
nutritional board of Missouri
33
00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:34,572
that small changes
like a beverage
34
00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:36,487
can lead to seismic shifts.
35
00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:38,141
Guys, this juice
is the future.
36
00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:39,838
You don't need to stand
when you talk.
37
00:01:39,882 --> 00:01:43,146
You don't need
to talk, period.
38
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:44,930
Devin: Once a year,
the lunch crew has a meeting
39
00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:47,585
to discuss new menu options
from the school district.
40
00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:49,413
This year it was about juice.
41
00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:52,112
Now, the meeting is technically
open to all staff,
42
00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:53,939
but most teachers
take the hint
43
00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:56,333
and leave it
to the professionals.
44
00:01:56,377 --> 00:01:59,771
One teacher wouldn't know a hint
if it closed a door in her face.
45
00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:01,251
Twice.
46
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:03,862
You guys missed
a great lunch committee meeting.
47
00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:05,473
They don't want
teachers there.
48
00:02:05,516 --> 00:02:08,519
Oh, so they just say "all
are welcome" as a formality?
49
00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:10,130
Yeah, right.
[ Chuckles ]
50
00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:12,610
Oh, God. Anyway, someone had
to get the scoop
51
00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:14,482
on this hot new juice.
52
00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:16,527
It's two more ounces than the
juice the kids are drinking now
53
00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:18,964
and five percent
more real juice.
54
00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:20,227
That's 10 percent
more juice.
55
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:22,838
Okay, math!
Yes, it's less sugar.
56
00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:24,361
It's better all around.
57
00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:26,494
It's a really easy low-lift win
for our kids.
58
00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:27,799
So what do you guys think?
59
00:02:27,843 --> 00:02:29,149
-Less sugar is compelling.
-Mm-hmm.
60
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,498
I'm not really
a big fan of juice.
61
00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:32,456
I prefer nature's juice--
62
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,632
water.
63
00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:36,678
What do you think, Barbara?
64
00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:39,463
I say no.
The kids aren't complaining.
65
00:02:39,507 --> 00:02:42,292
If it ain't broke,
don't fix it.
66
00:02:42,336 --> 00:02:43,511
I'm with Barbara.
67
00:02:43,554 --> 00:02:44,990
Okay, well, I'm for it,
68
00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:46,470
but I would love
to discuss further.
69
00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:48,820
I have been here a long time, Janine.
70
00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:49,952
Trust me.
71
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:52,172
New projects
mean new problems.
72
00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:53,564
Mm-hmm.
[ Scoffs ]
73
00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:55,653
What problems could there
possibly be?
74
00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:57,351
"Oh, no, help me.
I'm hurting...
75
00:02:57,394 --> 00:02:59,222
from getting too much
of my daily recommended
76
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:00,484
fruit servings.
77
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,486
[ Laughter ]
78
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:03,835
There's no downside here.
79
00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:06,011
It seems like you have
made up your mind.
80
00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:09,319
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got to go teach my children
81
00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:12,670
what happens
if you give a moose a muffin.
82
00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:14,237
It does not end well.
83
00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:15,934
New juice it is.
84
00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:19,242
Okay, so if you have a dollar,
and your brother,
85
00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:20,678
who already owes you 10 grand
86
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,593
'cause he keeps
backing the Jets,
87
00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:25,205
wants to borrow 75 cents...
88
00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:26,423
Where are my quarters?
89
00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:27,685
[ Change rattles ]
Ashley: Whoo!
90
00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:29,861
[ Children cheering ]
91
00:03:29,905 --> 00:03:32,342
Ashley Garcia,
Frankford, Philly.
92
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:35,693
Old enough to know better,
young enough to sheesh.
93
00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,391
And I'm here at Abbott
as an aide
94
00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:39,088
'cause I'm helpful as hell.
95
00:03:39,131 --> 00:03:41,351
That's why I've been at
four schools in four months.
96
00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:43,266
'Cause everyone wants
a piece.
97
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:45,050
Hey, are those mine?
98
00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:46,704
Hey, you want
your own quarters,
99
00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:48,271
date your own
vending machine guy.
100
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:51,709
I'm using them for my
science lesson on momentum.
101
00:03:51,753 --> 00:03:53,711
Oh! If it's heads,
I get to keep it.
102
00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:55,322
It's tails.
103
00:03:58,281 --> 00:04:01,458
[ Indistinct conversations ]
104
00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:03,721
Would you look at this?
The kids love it,
105
00:04:03,765 --> 00:04:05,723
and the juice
is flying off the trays.
106
00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:08,900
Yeah, maybe next year
we could get real meat.
107
00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:10,772
Mmm.
108
00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:13,122
Mm.
What's that I taste?
109
00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:16,256
Is that the nectar
of sweet victory?
110
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:18,388
Yeah, the kids are having
more juice,
111
00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:20,912
but less sugar,
and they seem very happy.
112
00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:23,480
That's nice, dear.
113
00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:25,265
You gotta admit this was
a good idea.
114
00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:27,397
You know, your kids
are probably loving it.
115
00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:29,269
Well, I guess
we'll never know
116
00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:32,837
because I did not opt in
for this juice.
117
00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:34,274
Why not?
118
00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:36,014
Because my class will be
sticking with the juice
119
00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:39,453
that has been working
for the past 20 years.
120
00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:41,759
If it ain't broke,
don't fix it.
121
00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:43,108
All right, you know what?
I think they should change
122
00:04:43,152 --> 00:04:45,285
that phrase to
"If it ain't broke,
123
00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:47,112
do fix it sometimes
124
00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:48,505
because it might
make it better."
125
00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:51,334
So you want to fix
an unbroken phrase
126
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:54,337
that has been used
effectively for generations?
127
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:57,297
If it makes it better,
then yes.
128
00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:59,429
Ugh.
129
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:01,431
Don't worry.
Chapter books will be a breeze.
130
00:05:01,475 --> 00:05:03,433
Most books are based
off movies anyway,
131
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:04,521
so you can watch
instead of--
132
00:05:04,565 --> 00:05:07,698
No, no! No.
133
00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:11,311
Ashley is more easily distracted
than my second graders.
134
00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:12,790
But I got a plan.
135
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:15,010
I figure if we organize
her work, it'd help,
136
00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:17,360
so I made her a to-do list,
137
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:19,623
which is different
from my to-do list,
138
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:22,191
which includes
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
139
00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:23,975
Or Jon "The Rock" Bon Jovi.
140
00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:26,717
Yeah, so where are youse
on that checklist?
141
00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:28,023
Oh.
142
00:05:28,066 --> 00:05:29,807
Ashley.
Checklist.
143
00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,505
Oh, you meant me?
144
00:05:31,548 --> 00:05:32,854
Right. Good! Great.
145
00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:34,551
I mean, I lost it.
Of course.
146
00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:36,379
Okay, so you're supposed
to be working on words
147
00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:39,991
with H's after P's.
'Kay?
148
00:05:40,035 --> 00:05:42,559
H's after D's?
That's weird.
149
00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:44,561
No. H's after P.
150
00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:47,695
P.
[ Snorts ]
151
00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:49,349
You said pee-pee.
152
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:52,221
[ Laughter ]
153
00:05:52,264 --> 00:05:55,224
Hot, right?
So this is vintage 2019 Zara,
154
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:58,488
previously loved. I'm gonna
start this listing at $20.
155
00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:00,360
Okay, I see you @moolahbaybee.
156
00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:01,839
Can I get $25?
157
00:06:01,883 --> 00:06:04,059
Ava, it's urgent.
158
00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:05,843
Okay, sold to
@moolahbaybee.
159
00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:09,847
You better count your blessings,
fan, 'cause this is a steal.
160
00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:10,935
[ Cellphone chimes ]
161
00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,415
Okay, y'all, I gotta run.
162
00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:14,025
Remember, my live pop-up sales
only happen
163
00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:16,201
Monday through Friday,
9:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m...
164
00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:17,855
Otherwise, I'm pretty busy.
165
00:06:17,899 --> 00:06:19,204
Peace.
166
00:06:19,248 --> 00:06:21,381
Administrative business.
What's going on?
167
00:06:21,424 --> 00:06:22,860
Ashley's gotta go.
Who?
168
00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:25,036
My new aide.
I want her gone.
169
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,516
Oh, what exactly
is the problem?
170
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:27,691
She's giving me agita.
171
00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,127
We can't fire people
for that.
172
00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:30,694
I tried to get Jacob fired
his first year
173
00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:33,044
for buying me a reusable
water bottle for Christmas.
174
00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:34,481
I found it passive aggressive.
175
00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:37,527
And yet he's still here.
176
00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:39,224
You gotta have a paper trail
of bad behavior.
177
00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:40,487
This is a bureaucracy.
178
00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:42,053
Yeah, but she's a huge pain
in my ass.
179
00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:44,055
I'm actually getting less work
done with her here.
180
00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:45,535
Okay, damn.
I'll come to your class
181
00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:47,102
and monitor her myself.
182
00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:48,886
-You will?
-Yes!
183
00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:50,714
Why does everybody get so
surprised when I say I'll help?
184
00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:52,063
I'm a professional.
185
00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,717
No, that's--
that's great.
186
00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:55,937
Thank you.
187
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:59,331
Now, what does one wear
to monitor?
188
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:01,333
Three-ninths is complicated.
189
00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:02,726
A little full of itself.
190
00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:04,467
It's not my favorite,
but some people--
191
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:07,252
Oh. Kalan, Armonni,
welcome back.
192
00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:09,646
You took so long I thought
you fell in the toilet,
193
00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:11,082
but now it's time to fall
194
00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:12,649
into the wonderful world
of fractions.
195
00:07:12,693 --> 00:07:15,435
I have to go to the bathroom,
too, Miss Teagues.
196
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:19,743
Okay, um, who else needs
to go to the bathroom?
197
00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:22,267
Well, looks like
I need to go, too,
198
00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:24,922
so I guess it's time
to take a little field trip.
199
00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:29,274
Dang, this line is longer
than Saweetie's nails.
200
00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:30,754
Is there some kind of
free-before-ten special
201
00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:32,103
going on that
I don't know about?
202
00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,365
We've been in line
for 15 minutes.
203
00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:35,019
It's been like this
all day.
204
00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:36,673
Has it?
That's wild.
205
00:07:36,717 --> 00:07:38,283
'Cause I've been so busy
working, you know,
206
00:07:38,327 --> 00:07:39,589
I didn't notice.
207
00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:42,026
Whoa, I thought it was
just my class.
208
00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:43,201
What is going on?
209
00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:44,594
It's this new juice.
210
00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:46,030
It's busting their bladders.
211
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:47,510
Oh, but that can't be it.
212
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,120
I mean, it's only
two more ounces.
213
00:07:49,164 --> 00:07:51,471
Well, I guess two more ounces
adds up to 200 more trips
214
00:07:51,514 --> 00:07:54,299
to the bathroom.
215
00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:55,866
Well, this is a good thing
216
00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:57,999
because more trips
to the bathroom
217
00:07:58,042 --> 00:08:00,828
means more liquid flushing
through their tiny bodies
218
00:08:00,871 --> 00:08:03,352
and cleansing
their tiny little cells.
219
00:08:03,395 --> 00:08:04,614
Hydration.
220
00:08:04,658 --> 00:08:07,051
This is good. Mm.
221
00:08:07,095 --> 00:08:10,185
[ Thud, toilet flushing ]
222
00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:13,188
Uh-oh.
I think the bathroom broke.
223
00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,193
[ Sighs heavily ]
224
00:08:18,236 --> 00:08:20,151
All the first floor bathrooms
are broken.
225
00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:21,544
Until reinforcements arrive,
226
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,894
everyone has to use
the upstairs bathroom.
227
00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:26,331
And I pray to
the Mario Brothers they hold.
228
00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:29,552
If I didn't have so much class,
I'd say "I told you so."
229
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:33,034
Ugh! You did not tell me
that changing juices
230
00:08:33,077 --> 00:08:34,557
would make the kids
drink so much
231
00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:35,863
that they peed the bathrooms
out of commission.
232
00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,517
I told you that there was
no need
233
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,519
to fix something
that wasn't broken.
234
00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:42,391
But no, that wasn't enough
for Janine.
235
00:08:42,434 --> 00:08:44,175
You should have just
listened to me.
236
00:08:44,219 --> 00:08:45,916
How are we even supposed
to teach?
237
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,005
My first graders have never even
been to the second floor before.
238
00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:49,529
And it takes me 45 seconds
239
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,008
at a brisk pace
to get all the way up there.
240
00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:53,010
It will take the kids forever.
241
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:55,056
You time yourself going
to the second floor?
242
00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:56,753
-You don't?
-Uh, while I admit
243
00:08:56,797 --> 00:08:58,712
this is an unfortunate circumstance,
244
00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:01,018
it will be nice to have
some extra pairs of feet
245
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:03,020
up in the penthouses.
246
00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:05,196
That's what we non-ground floor
teachers call it.
247
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,676
Wait, Barbara, is your
kindergarten bathroom
248
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,853
still working?
249
00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:12,943
Yes, my private facilities
are intact,
250
00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:16,686
due to my responsible
juice decision.
251
00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:18,470
Can our kids use it,
Barbara?
252
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:20,211
Please? It's a close call
getting them
253
00:09:20,255 --> 00:09:21,778
to the first floor bathroom
as it is.
254
00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:23,606
And first graders have
255
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,913
the second most combustible
-bladders. -Okay, fine.
256
00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:28,611
The kindergarten bathroom
may be used in emergencies.
257
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,439
Oh, thank goodness.
258
00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:31,701
I meant the kids.
259
00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:32,876
I'm a kid at heart.
260
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,312
You--
261
00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:36,271
Thank you.
Thank you.
262
00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:38,490
-Your lipstick... pretty.
-Those pants are creased real well.
263
00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:42,407
Okay, kids. How many yards are
in one Manute Bol?
264
00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:44,409
Jessica.
265
00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:45,628
Three?
266
00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,412
Not quite.
Anybody else?
267
00:09:47,456 --> 00:09:51,503
I'm Meg Thee Skeleton and it's
time to learn about our bones.
268
00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:54,332
Eh!
[ Children laughing ]
269
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:56,465
Good news is, now that I have
Ashley helping out in my class,
270
00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:58,075
I can teach two lessons at once.
271
00:09:58,119 --> 00:10:01,644
Bad news is, I now have
Ashley in my class.
272
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:03,603
[ Children laughing ]
273
00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:05,343
How y'all doing?
Don't worry about me.
274
00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:07,128
I'm not even here.
275
00:10:07,171 --> 00:10:09,478
Alright. So, um--I'm here to teach you
about the human...
276
00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:12,133
♪ Body-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody
277
00:10:12,176 --> 00:10:15,092
♪ Bones, blood, meat, you! Okay.
278
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:16,920
Hey. Hi, my class.[ Children laugh ]
279
00:10:16,964 --> 00:10:19,140
You guys would know this
if you did your homework.
280
00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:21,621
Hello. Right up here, guys.
Right up here.
281
00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:24,536
-Girl, is that my shirt?
-Oh, this?
282
00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:26,538
I got it off a popular
Depop page.
283
00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:28,932
@AvaFlaaaaaaaaaav
with 10 A's?
284
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,934
Oh, my God.
That's you?
285
00:10:30,978 --> 00:10:32,283
I love your clothes.
286
00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:34,677
Thank you.
287
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,157
I closed that account down
for tax reasons,
288
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,115
but I do live auctions now.
289
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:40,465
Here, scan this QR code
and hit follow,
290
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:41,771
and make sure you turn
on the notifications
291
00:10:41,815 --> 00:10:42,772
so you don't miss anything.
292
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:43,947
The good stuff goes fast.
293
00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:45,645
Oh, my gosh.
That's so smart.
294
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:48,125
You know, way better than
some piece of paper I'd lose.
295
00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:49,387
Business cards are for gum, girl.
296
00:10:49,431 --> 00:10:50,998
This is the future. Yes.
297
00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:54,654
Okay, how many feet
are in a yard?
298
00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:56,699
Melissa, do you mind?
299
00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:58,962
We talking business
back here.
300
00:10:59,006 --> 00:11:00,703
Okay, here's another one.
301
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:03,488
If I were to break
this yard stick in half
302
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:06,317
out of anger,
how long would each piece be?
303
00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:09,843
The human...
♪ Body-ody-ody-ody-ody
304
00:11:09,886 --> 00:11:11,018
[ Class singing along ]
305
00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:14,151
♪ Bones, blood, meat, you
306
00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:15,675
[ Laughter ]
307
00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:19,026
What clothes do we wear
in the winter time?
308
00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:20,331
[ Class shouting "Me" ]
309
00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:21,550
- Coat!
- Mittens! - Pajamas!
310
00:11:21,593 --> 00:11:22,812
Very good.
311
00:11:22,856 --> 00:11:23,987
[ Class shouting indistinctly ]
312
00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:26,990
Hi, Keta. Hi, Hayley.
Hi, Fred.
313
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:28,731
I'm sorry, Mrs. Howard.
We'll be quick.
314
00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:31,255
Come on.
315
00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:32,692
All right, now.
316
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:35,607
And in what seasons
do we wear--
317
00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:39,524
Sorry, Mrs. Howard.
318
00:11:39,568 --> 00:11:43,093
In what seasons
do we wear pajamas?
319
00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:45,705
My pajamas
have racecars on them!
320
00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:46,923
Yes.
321
00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:48,185
Bathroom's over there.
322
00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:49,534
Oh, thanks, girl.
323
00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:52,407
Buddy system.
324
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:58,630
Pajamas are actually
year-round attire.
325
00:11:58,674 --> 00:12:00,763
Mrs. Howard,
I have to go potty.
326
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:01,938
All right.
Get in line.
327
00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:04,462
But it's a memergency.
328
00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:06,247
Well, come on.
Come on.
329
00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,379
Let's go.
330
00:12:08,423 --> 00:12:10,251
Hey! No cutting!
331
00:12:10,294 --> 00:12:13,036
Excuse me.
My children are kindergartners
332
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,299
and they need the bathroom
more than anyone.
333
00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:17,780
Not more than me.
I had 10 juices.
334
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:19,216
You know what?
335
00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:20,870
From now on, you all need
to use the bathroom
336
00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:22,785
on the second floor.
337
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,091
But, Mrs. Howard,
that's not fair.
338
00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:25,570
You know what's not fair?
339
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:29,400
My children having to pay
for your juice mistakes.
340
00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:32,490
Now, please get out.
341
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:34,057
-That way!
-Okay.
342
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:35,624
C-Come on. Sorry.
343
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:37,757
You trippin'.
Ashley is a star.
344
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,149
I'm trying to run
a classroom,
345
00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:41,412
and she's actively
working against that.
346
00:12:41,456 --> 00:12:42,979
I can't even hear myself think
over the kids
347
00:12:43,023 --> 00:12:45,329
singing body-wody-whatever.
348
00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,288
See, that's not even
how the song goes.
349
00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:48,898
I thought you was
one of them spicy Whites.
350
00:12:48,942 --> 00:12:49,986
I hate being wrong.
351
00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:51,901
Ava, she is a menace.
352
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:55,252
She painted eyeballs on her lids
so she could nap during class.
353
00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:57,254
[ Laughs ]
Ava!
354
00:12:57,298 --> 00:12:59,300
She's supposed to be
prepping right now during lunch.
355
00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:00,649
I don't even know
where she is.
356
00:13:00,692 --> 00:13:02,912
No. She's perfect.
Like a little mini-me.
357
00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:04,914
Hold on.
358
00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:08,091
Ashley, make a note in my
Halloween costumes ideas folder
359
00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:10,920
for a Mini-Me
and a sexy Dr. Evil.
360
00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:13,140
-Ashley: Copy.
-Ashley.
361
00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:14,794
Where are you?
362
00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:17,144
Getting water for
Ava's clothes steamer.
363
00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:18,798
She wanted
to steam them.
364
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:21,452
Can you go back to prepping
in my classroom, please?
365
00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:23,454
Okay, you're kinda throwing
a lot at me here.
366
00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:26,806
Ashley, go back
to my classroom.
367
00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:29,809
What?
I already did my prep.
368
00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,288
I do it while I'm teaching.
369
00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:33,813
I call it preaching.
370
00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:35,945
-Single file.
-Just line up right here.
371
00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:37,512
All right?
Bathroom?
372
00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:39,383
Yeah.
This is so inconvenient,
373
00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:41,124
I can barely find
a silver lining.
374
00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:42,212
You found one?
375
00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:43,605
We're getting
good exercise.
376
00:13:43,648 --> 00:13:45,650
It don't count
if I don't got my FitBit on.
377
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:48,523
We cannot be expected to keep
hauling our entire classes
378
00:13:48,566 --> 00:13:51,308
up the stairs
every five seconds.
379
00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:52,570
We would help Barbara
if she needed it, right?
380
00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:54,834
Yeah. Absolutely.
381
00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:57,140
Because it is her free period
right now.
382
00:13:57,184 --> 00:14:00,927
[ Indistinct conversations ]
383
00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:04,321
And it's not like we'd be
disrupting her class.
384
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:05,975
Right?
And I bet if I asked her,
385
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:08,064
she'd want us
to use her bathroom.
386
00:14:09,718 --> 00:14:10,850
Come on kids.
Yeah, right.
387
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,199
-Let's be quiet.
-Everyone, shhh.
388
00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:14,331
Get low. Well, really,
just Mr. Eddie get low.
389
00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:16,768
[ Whispering ] Get low. Get low.
Okay, come on.
390
00:14:17,726 --> 00:14:19,380
Gregory: What's taking
that kid so long?
391
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:20,990
Who's even in there?
392
00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:24,559
Um, everything okay?
393
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:25,865
You know, Gregory,
you try it.
394
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,692
I've been told
I knock like a ghost.
395
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,346
Could y-- I know.
Just--
396
00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:34,874
Girl:
Hi, Mrs. Howard.
397
00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:39,226
I distinctly remember
telling both of you
398
00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:41,706
that my bathroom
was off limits.
399
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,360
Yes. Yes.
But then I remembered
400
00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:45,275
how if you needed help,
I would give it to you.
401
00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,625
And that's lovely,
but I said no.
402
00:14:47,669 --> 00:14:48,931
Barbara, look,
it's your free period.
403
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,193
Your kids are at the gym.
404
00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:52,456
I don't care
what period it is.
405
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:56,634
I said no, and I do not need
to explain my reasoning to you.
406
00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:59,550
When I say something, that is
the end of the discussion.
407
00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:05,034
There is a period at the end
of each of my sentences.
408
00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:07,036
That felt like
an exclamation point. Mnh-mnh.
409
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,603
I'm sorry.
410
00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:10,779
Barbara, we are sorry,
but we will be done in a minute.
411
00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:12,389
The kids will be out,
and it will be like
412
00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:13,651
we were ever here.
413
00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:17,394
[ Pipes groan, water bubbling ]
414
00:15:17,438 --> 00:15:19,396
I think it's broken.
415
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,224
[ Pipes groan ]
416
00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:26,664
Man, this is messier
than Temple Homecoming '74.
417
00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:27,927
The kindergarten toilet
somehow took out
418
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,319
all the second floor
toilets with it.
419
00:15:29,363 --> 00:15:31,278
Third floor bathroom
is all we got now.
420
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:32,932
And I just got off the phone
with the city.
421
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:35,978
They said they can't do
anything until next week.
422
00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,762
Thank you, Janine.
423
00:15:37,806 --> 00:15:41,244
I was hoping I could take
my entire class
424
00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:44,073
up and down the stairs
all day long.
425
00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:47,511
And since one of my students
can't use the stairs,
426
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:50,950
I'll have to drop Johnny off
with another teacher.
427
00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:52,342
Thank you.
428
00:15:53,822 --> 00:15:55,955
[ Thumping rhythmically ]
Ah! Yeah.
429
00:15:55,998 --> 00:15:58,174
You know, when you think
about it, "Grindin'" by Clipse
430
00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:00,002
was kind of
the original Cup Song.
431
00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:01,264
Mm. Oh, my God.
432
00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:03,179
I never thought about it
like that.
433
00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:05,529
Anna Kendrick
is such a fraud!
434
00:16:07,488 --> 00:16:09,011
Oh, hi, Ashley.
435
00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:11,318
Glad to see you hard
at not-work.
436
00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:13,842
I'm sure you finished that
to-do list I gave you?
437
00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:15,626
Nar.
438
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:18,499
But I did write it all down
in my Notes app this time.
439
00:16:18,542 --> 00:16:19,848
I'll get right on it.
440
00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:23,286
Jacob, more on
Anna Kendrick later.
441
00:16:24,331 --> 00:16:26,202
Ava, status update.
442
00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:28,204
All orders have been packaged
for shipping.
443
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:30,163
Oh, never thought the district
would send someone
444
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:31,816
so enterprising.
445
00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:32,992
Thank you.
446
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:39,389
I haven't seen you this mad
since the bartender cut you off
447
00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:41,826
at the batting cages.
448
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:44,046
I can't get this girl
to put caps back on markers,
449
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:48,050
and here she is helping Ava run
an entire pyramid scheme.
450
00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:51,314
Just tossing it out there,
feel free to toss it right back,
451
00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:56,058
but maybe it's because
Ava actually engages with her.
452
00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:58,495
This is a job.
It's not a meet and greet.
453
00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:02,064
I'm just saying, it might help
if you got to know her.
454
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,544
Or-- Or, you know,
carry on as is.
455
00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:05,154
Whatever you--
whatever you like.
456
00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:07,200
Barbara: Let's get in line.
Thank you.
457
00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:10,725
[ Breathing heavily ]
458
00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:12,683
[ Sighs ]
459
00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:14,294
Air is thin up here
on the third floor.
460
00:17:14,337 --> 00:17:16,557
Mm-hmm.
461
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,862
Barbara,
I owe you an apology
462
00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:19,168
just as s-soon
as I catch my breath.
463
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:20,256
Mm-hmm.
464
00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:21,823
[ Sighs ] Thank you.
465
00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:24,086
I know you didn't mean
to ruin my day, Janine.
466
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:25,522
But I did.
467
00:17:25,566 --> 00:17:27,089
You did.
468
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:30,701
I tried to tell you no,
but you wouldn't listen.
469
00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:35,967
All day long I have 5-year-olds
asking me why this, why that.
470
00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:39,710
I do not have the time
for a bunch of 20-somethings
471
00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:40,885
doing the same thing.
472
00:17:40,929 --> 00:17:43,366
I hear you. I do.
473
00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:45,629
But, Barbara, we need
to know the why.
474
00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:46,978
If you just tell us
the answer,
475
00:17:47,022 --> 00:17:50,069
we'll never learn how
to solve the problems.
476
00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:51,983
We need you to show
your work, too.
477
00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:53,463
Look, when you were first
starting out,
478
00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:54,856
didn't you have someone
who, like,
479
00:17:54,899 --> 00:17:56,118
walked you through everything
480
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:57,728
and showed you
the tricks of the trade?
481
00:17:57,772 --> 00:18:00,253
I did not.
482
00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:04,387
Oh. Okay.
483
00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:06,781
I can't believe that
they won't come out for a week
484
00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:09,610
just because we have
one working bathroom left.
485
00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:11,742
Phew.
486
00:18:11,786 --> 00:18:16,007
Janine, now is when
you fix something.
487
00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:17,966
When it's broken.
488
00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:19,576
You see how that works?
489
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:22,231
I mean [chuckles] yeah,
unless you're the city.
490
00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:25,930
I will be right back.
Watch my class. Thank you.
491
00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:27,149
Excuse me.
492
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:30,587
[ Thumping rhythmically ]
493
00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:33,329
So, uh, what's
this little number called?
494
00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:35,636
Oh, the "Grindin'" beat.
My older sister taught it to me.
495
00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:38,117
Kids love it.
496
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,944
It's kinda like
the Cup Song.
497
00:18:39,988 --> 00:18:42,425
Oh, we have so much
to discuss.
498
00:18:44,471 --> 00:18:46,168
♪ Signing
499
00:18:48,649 --> 00:18:49,911
Wanna try?
500
00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:51,347
Yeah, you know what,
I'm good for now.
501
00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:52,870
But how about this?
How about we make time
502
00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:54,481
for you to teach
something cool like this
503
00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:55,786
to the kids every week?
'Cause they're loving it.
504
00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:57,310
Really?
Absolutely.
505
00:18:57,353 --> 00:18:58,833
And for now, why don't you
start grindin' away
506
00:18:58,876 --> 00:19:00,139
on that math test?
507
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:02,184
Can do, boss.
All right.
508
00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:04,795
Melissa, I need
your baseball bat.
509
00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:06,362
-Taped under my desk.
-Mm-hmm.
510
00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:08,364
Oh, wipe it down
-when you're done. -Got it.
511
00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:10,801
Wait, can I get
a baseball bat?
512
00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:12,368
When you're older.
513
00:19:14,022 --> 00:19:15,980
Come on, guys.
Good job washing your hands.
514
00:19:16,024 --> 00:19:17,286
Go sit down
on the stairs.
515
00:19:17,330 --> 00:19:18,983
Janine: Who else has to go?
Come on up--
516
00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:20,333
Whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa!
517
00:19:20,376 --> 00:19:21,812
-We're sorry. We're sorry.
-Barbara, what?!
518
00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:23,988
Did everyone get a chance
to use the bathroom?
519
00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:25,164
I pooped.
520
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:26,643
That's great, sweetheart.
521
00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:29,994
Um, okay...
Come on, y'all. Let's take a step back.
522
00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:32,693
Everybody step behind me.
Just stand behind me.
523
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:34,303
-Just... behind us.
-Come on.
524
00:19:34,347 --> 00:19:36,523
[ Clang, rattling,
water rushing ]
525
00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:38,916
Oh, my God.
526
00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:45,009
Whew.
527
00:19:45,053 --> 00:19:49,840
[ Panting ] Well, this bathroom
is out of commission.
528
00:19:49,884 --> 00:19:52,843
We will have to inform
the district that our situation
529
00:19:52,887 --> 00:19:57,370
is now
officially an emergency.
530
00:19:57,413 --> 00:20:00,024
Barbara! This is why I always
want to meet up
531
00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:01,461
with you
and talk things out,
532
00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:03,680
because you know how
to handle every situation.
533
00:20:03,724 --> 00:20:06,335
And clearly, I do not.
534
00:20:06,379 --> 00:20:09,251
Well, I didn't have anybody
to show me the ropes.
535
00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:12,254
You were right.
It would have been a big help.
536
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:14,213
Why don't I set aside
some time
537
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:18,260
so anyone wanting to know
how I handled a situation
538
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:21,437
and why can come--Build community.
539
00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:23,091
Talk to me.
540
00:20:23,134 --> 00:20:24,919
-Like office hours.
-Office hour.
541
00:20:24,962 --> 00:20:28,879
-Got it. Once a week.
-Once a month.
542
00:20:28,923 --> 00:20:32,709
Deal.
543
00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:34,885
I have one thing
to ask in return.
544
00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:35,886
Yeah?
545
00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:37,279
Get rid of this for me.
546
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:38,628
Oh, um...
Thank you.
547
00:20:38,672 --> 00:20:40,543
I don't wanna...
Come on.
548
00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:41,936
-...be a part of... this.
-Come on. Let's go, class.
549
00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:47,071
I had to go over
to the corner store
550
00:20:47,115 --> 00:20:48,769
and they wouldn't give me
the bathroom code
551
00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:51,293
without a purchase, so
I panic-bought some scratchers.
552
00:20:52,599 --> 00:20:54,557
Come on, early retirement.
553
00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:57,256
Yeah, same.
So terrible.
554
00:20:57,299 --> 00:20:59,562
Couldn't pee anywhere
all day.
555
00:20:59,606 --> 00:21:01,303
It was bananas.
556
00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:10,269
[ Keypad beeps ]
557
00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:11,400
I know y'all didn't think
I was using them
558
00:21:11,444 --> 00:21:13,141
little kiddie toilets up there.
559
00:21:13,184 --> 00:21:17,014
[ Soothing music plays ]
560
00:21:18,015 --> 00:21:19,756
Unh-unh.
No cameras in the bathroom.
561
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,280
But if you're wondering
if I have a bidet,
562
00:21:21,323 --> 00:21:22,672
you bet I bi-do.
563
00:21:22,716 --> 00:21:23,891
♪
564
00:21:23,941 --> 00:21:28,491
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