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1
00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:11,531
(breathing heavily)
2
00:00:21,250 --> 00:00:23,522
(grunting)
3
00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,111
(groaning)
4
00:00:53,715 --> 00:00:55,753
(exhales)
5
00:01:02,967 --> 00:01:04,837
Oh, God.
6
00:01:09,715 --> 00:01:12,185
(sighs)
7
00:01:19,668 --> 00:01:22,172
What the fuck?
8
00:01:26,548 --> 00:01:28,752
(grunting)
9
00:01:51,631 --> 00:01:53,835
(groaning)
10
00:01:59,614 --> 00:02:00,816
(yelps)
11
00:02:00,883 --> 00:02:03,689
(grunting)
12
00:02:09,233 --> 00:02:11,403
(labored breathing)
13
00:02:13,007 --> 00:02:16,213
(muffled):
Help! Help!
14
00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:20,188
Help!
Help!
15
00:02:20,255 --> 00:02:23,729
Help! Help!
16
00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:24,931
Help!
17
00:02:24,998 --> 00:02:27,268
(groaning)
18
00:02:28,304 --> 00:02:30,576
♪♪ ♪♪
19
00:02:32,947 --> 00:02:35,218
(panting)
20
00:02:40,195 --> 00:02:42,465
(exhaling)
21
00:02:56,995 --> 00:02:58,431
Okay.
22
00:02:59,834 --> 00:03:01,905
Okay.
23
00:03:03,374 --> 00:03:05,879
(breathes deeply)
24
00:03:07,950 --> 00:03:10,221
♪♪ ♪♪
25
00:03:26,688 --> 00:03:28,491
(beep)
26
00:03:28,559 --> 00:03:30,161
GENE:
Hello, Dr. Strauss.
27
00:03:30,228 --> 00:03:32,365
Uh, my name is Gene Bollinger.
28
00:03:32,432 --> 00:03:34,436
I was hoping
to get started in a course
29
00:03:34,504 --> 00:03:35,906
of psychotherapy.
30
00:03:35,973 --> 00:03:37,910
I thought you might be able
to help me
31
00:03:37,977 --> 00:03:39,412
with some of my problems.
32
00:03:40,115 --> 00:03:41,684
So, uh, yeah.
33
00:03:41,751 --> 00:03:44,155
I guess I'll call you back,
uh, if that's okay.
34
00:03:44,222 --> 00:03:45,692
I'm a little hard to reach.
35
00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:48,865
Yeah, okay, thanks.
36
00:03:52,339 --> 00:03:54,610
(machine beeps)
37
00:03:56,013 --> 00:03:57,416
(phone beeps, dials)
38
00:03:57,483 --> 00:03:59,020
(line rings)
39
00:03:59,086 --> 00:04:01,858
SHOSHANA: Hi, it's Shoshana.
Leave a message.
40
00:04:01,925 --> 00:04:04,062
-(beep)
-Hey, honey. It's Dad.
41
00:04:04,129 --> 00:04:05,232
Just checking in.
42
00:04:05,298 --> 00:04:07,235
I'm in sessions until 8:00.
43
00:04:07,302 --> 00:04:08,972
Bye-bye.
44
00:04:15,519 --> 00:04:17,656
What can I help you with, Gene?
45
00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:22,833
My dad beat the shit out of me.
46
00:04:24,169 --> 00:04:26,908
A lot, uh, when I was a kid.
47
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:31,050
And I think it fucked me up.
48
00:04:31,818 --> 00:04:33,855
That's a tough thing
to go through.
49
00:04:34,757 --> 00:04:36,928
You said it fucked you up.
50
00:04:36,995 --> 00:04:38,799
In what ways?
51
00:04:38,865 --> 00:04:40,803
All ways.
52
00:04:40,870 --> 00:04:42,306
(pants softly)
53
00:04:42,372 --> 00:04:43,676
Like I'm not content.
54
00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:46,447
I don't have a good social life.
55
00:04:46,515 --> 00:04:48,752
I get angry.
56
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:55,031
That's the sort of thing
you help people with, right?
57
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,870
Yes.
58
00:04:58,638 --> 00:05:00,274
So, I read your book.
59
00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:01,745
Oh.
60
00:05:01,812 --> 00:05:03,915
-What'd you think?
-It was good.
61
00:05:03,982 --> 00:05:08,024
I thought, you know,
this guy is a real expert.
62
00:05:08,091 --> 00:05:09,226
Mm-hmm.
63
00:05:09,293 --> 00:05:10,963
Well, I've been doing it
a long time.
64
00:05:11,030 --> 00:05:12,900
(chuckles softly)
65
00:05:14,804 --> 00:05:17,041
♪♪ ♪♪
66
00:05:20,850 --> 00:05:23,789
COLLEEN:
I'm sorry for your loss.
67
00:05:24,557 --> 00:05:26,260
That's what
normal people say, right?
68
00:05:26,327 --> 00:05:29,333
ALAN:
How does it feel
for you to say it?
69
00:05:29,399 --> 00:05:30,870
COLLEEN:
It just, um...
70
00:05:31,671 --> 00:05:34,209
...just seems like
what I hear people say.
71
00:05:34,276 --> 00:05:35,712
But I mean it.
72
00:05:35,779 --> 00:05:38,585
Well, that is
the important part.
73
00:05:41,156 --> 00:05:42,426
Gene, I wanted to ask you
74
00:05:42,493 --> 00:05:44,062
about your sunglasses.
75
00:05:44,129 --> 00:05:46,233
I think it might be
a good idea for you
76
00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:48,471
to take them off, so we can see
each other better.
77
00:05:48,539 --> 00:05:49,540
I have eye problems.
78
00:05:49,607 --> 00:05:51,343
ALAN:
Oh, what's wrong?
79
00:05:51,410 --> 00:05:52,846
GENE:
Light hurts them.
80
00:05:53,548 --> 00:05:55,184
They're oversensitive.
81
00:05:55,251 --> 00:05:57,222
You've seen a doctor about it?
82
00:05:57,289 --> 00:05:59,192
Two doctors.
83
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,664
♪♪ ♪♪
84
00:06:06,508 --> 00:06:08,512
(water running)
85
00:06:08,579 --> 00:06:10,516
Well, we're out of time.
86
00:06:10,583 --> 00:06:12,486
Isn't that my line?
87
00:06:12,553 --> 00:06:14,323
(water running)
88
00:06:14,390 --> 00:06:17,162
I'm trying to take care
of your needs again, aren't I?
89
00:06:17,229 --> 00:06:19,199
I think so.
90
00:06:19,266 --> 00:06:21,571
♪♪ ♪♪
91
00:06:24,944 --> 00:06:26,480
He hit me.
92
00:06:27,482 --> 00:06:29,119
All the time.
93
00:06:29,185 --> 00:06:30,989
When you say "all the time,"
94
00:06:31,056 --> 00:06:34,430
could you be any more
specific about it?
95
00:06:34,497 --> 00:06:36,433
Pretty much all the time.
96
00:07:01,985 --> 00:07:03,788
(baby fussing)
97
00:07:32,212 --> 00:07:34,249
♪♪ ♪♪
98
00:07:57,530 --> 00:07:59,834
-Thank you.
-Thank you very much.
99
00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:02,172
-Alan, welcome.
-ALAN: Chaim, how are you?
100
00:08:02,239 --> 00:08:03,273
Baruch Hashem.
101
00:08:03,340 --> 00:08:05,679
-You?
-I'm well, thanks.
102
00:08:07,617 --> 00:08:09,019
-I'll be in the back.
-EZRA: Oh.
103
00:08:09,085 --> 00:08:10,656
Okay.
104
00:08:10,722 --> 00:08:13,227
-Hi, Ezra.
-Hi, Dad.
105
00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:16,300
It's Mom's guitar?
106
00:08:16,367 --> 00:08:17,503
Mm-hmm.
107
00:08:17,570 --> 00:08:19,306
I figured you should have it.
108
00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:22,145
You're the only one
in the family who plays, so...
109
00:08:25,652 --> 00:08:28,090
I don't play anymore.
110
00:08:30,963 --> 00:08:34,971
GENE:
That's it, 'cause you'd expect
anybody to save their own ass,
111
00:08:35,038 --> 00:08:38,444
but he'd rather die
than use her as his excuse,
112
00:08:38,511 --> 00:08:40,616
-like, uh, disgrace her.
-ALAN: I think
113
00:08:40,683 --> 00:08:42,285
I have actually heard
that one before.
114
00:08:42,351 --> 00:08:44,422
Right, it's a classic.
115
00:08:44,489 --> 00:08:46,426
(chuckles)
116
00:08:46,494 --> 00:08:49,700
(sighs deeply)
117
00:08:51,738 --> 00:08:53,542
You know, Gene,
I've been thinking.
118
00:08:53,609 --> 00:08:55,345
It's been a while
119
00:08:55,412 --> 00:08:57,115
since we started
talking together.
120
00:08:57,182 --> 00:09:00,121
And I've noticed that...
121
00:09:01,156 --> 00:09:05,599
...you're not really
opening yourself up to me.
122
00:09:05,666 --> 00:09:08,905
Whenever I ask
for stories or details,
123
00:09:08,972 --> 00:09:11,911
you have a tendency
to get kind of vague
124
00:09:11,978 --> 00:09:13,214
or you start telling me
125
00:09:13,281 --> 00:09:16,487
about country music songs
that you like.
126
00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:21,063
And I've noticed
that I myself am feeling
127
00:09:21,129 --> 00:09:23,736
a little frustrated
by this process.
128
00:09:24,504 --> 00:09:27,141
And I'm wondering
if you're feeling that as well.
129
00:09:28,177 --> 00:09:31,651
Usually when one person feels
that way, it's kind of mutual.
130
00:09:34,256 --> 00:09:35,391
I don't know.
131
00:09:36,226 --> 00:09:39,968
I guess it's not working
the way it did in your book.
132
00:09:40,034 --> 00:09:43,040
ALAN:
Gene, in order
for this process to work,
133
00:09:43,107 --> 00:09:45,712
you have to be able
to tell me things
134
00:09:45,779 --> 00:09:48,317
that are not easy to tell.
135
00:09:49,386 --> 00:09:52,993
To be open and truthful.
136
00:09:55,766 --> 00:09:57,803
Maybe I'm not cut out for this.
137
00:09:59,740 --> 00:10:02,913
'Cause I'm... I'm trying.
138
00:10:03,748 --> 00:10:06,253
I really-- I'm trying.
139
00:10:07,990 --> 00:10:09,960
In my experience...
140
00:10:10,996 --> 00:10:12,399
...anyone who has come this far,
141
00:10:12,465 --> 00:10:16,039
who has made the choice
to come to therapy
142
00:10:16,106 --> 00:10:20,114
and keep hammering away
at the hard things...
143
00:10:21,584 --> 00:10:23,220
...they can be helped.
144
00:10:28,899 --> 00:10:30,836
(kettle whistling)
145
00:10:30,902 --> 00:10:33,407
(sportscaster speaking
indistinctly on TV)
146
00:10:46,367 --> 00:10:47,670
(wind whistling)
147
00:10:47,737 --> 00:10:50,241
(clattering)
148
00:10:53,848 --> 00:10:55,819
(dogs barking in distance)
149
00:10:55,886 --> 00:10:58,390
(clattering)
150
00:11:00,896 --> 00:11:03,768
(dogs continue barking)
151
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:08,912
(rustling)
152
00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:26,079
(rattling)
153
00:11:46,420 --> 00:11:47,823
(gasps)
154
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,070
(crows cawing in distance)
155
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:07,162
♪♪ ♪♪
156
00:12:07,229 --> 00:12:09,767
(clattering)
157
00:12:13,609 --> 00:12:16,246
(urinating nearby)
158
00:12:28,605 --> 00:12:30,875
(toilet flushing)
159
00:12:41,731 --> 00:12:44,469
I'm so sorry. I know this sucks.
160
00:12:44,537 --> 00:12:46,072
I'll be right back.
161
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,790
(door closes)
162
00:12:56,595 --> 00:12:59,700
(door opens)
163
00:12:59,767 --> 00:13:00,869
(door closes)
164
00:13:00,936 --> 00:13:03,140
Gene, what the hell's going on?
165
00:13:03,207 --> 00:13:05,545
I mean, what the fuck?!
166
00:13:05,612 --> 00:13:08,283
Let me out, let me out,
let me out of here.
167
00:13:08,350 --> 00:13:10,588
Let me out of here
right now, Gene!
168
00:13:10,655 --> 00:13:13,193
-Gene!
-You take it easy.
169
00:13:15,164 --> 00:13:17,101
Last night you were screaming.
170
00:13:17,168 --> 00:13:20,207
We're in the woods out here.
Nobody's around.
171
00:13:24,717 --> 00:13:26,554
I know how upset you are.
172
00:13:26,620 --> 00:13:28,290
Of course. Anybody would be.
173
00:13:28,357 --> 00:13:30,528
This isn't as bad as it seems.
174
00:13:32,733 --> 00:13:36,607
It's bad, I know it's bad, but
I just, I just need your help.
175
00:13:36,674 --> 00:13:37,743
Look...
176
00:13:38,745 --> 00:13:41,517
I don't know what you think
you're doing, but this...
177
00:13:41,584 --> 00:13:42,986
this...
(sighs)
178
00:13:43,053 --> 00:13:44,924
Unlock this goddamn chain.
179
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:47,128
Right now. I mean it, Gene.
180
00:13:48,064 --> 00:13:49,900
Gene, listen,
you have to listen to me.
181
00:13:50,735 --> 00:13:52,438
I realize that there's
something inside of you
182
00:13:52,506 --> 00:13:54,309
that's telling you
that this is a good idea...
183
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:56,814
I know, it's-it's not exactly
that it's a good idea,
184
00:13:56,881 --> 00:13:58,083
I do realize that.
185
00:13:58,150 --> 00:14:00,087
But, you know,
I'm out of options,
186
00:14:00,154 --> 00:14:02,258
and I really think
if we can just talk,
187
00:14:02,325 --> 00:14:04,429
this will, this will be okay.
188
00:14:04,497 --> 00:14:06,500
-Okay-ish.
-I have to help you see
189
00:14:06,567 --> 00:14:08,303
that this is wrong.
190
00:14:09,339 --> 00:14:10,976
Scaring me like this is wrong.
191
00:14:11,043 --> 00:14:12,946
You have to see that.
I know you can see that.
192
00:14:13,013 --> 00:14:14,449
I do, I do, I know,
193
00:14:14,517 --> 00:14:18,959
but... I wasn't getting
anywhere in therapy.
194
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,130
You said so yourself, right?
195
00:14:21,196 --> 00:14:22,566
And I think that I know why.
196
00:14:22,633 --> 00:14:24,202
You see, I-I couldn't...
197
00:14:24,268 --> 00:14:26,941
I couldn't really tell you
the truth in your office.
198
00:14:27,008 --> 00:14:28,745
But here, here... I can.
199
00:14:28,812 --> 00:14:30,148
No, no, no, no, no.
200
00:14:30,214 --> 00:14:31,884
This-this-this isn't good
for either of us, Gene.
201
00:14:31,951 --> 00:14:35,826
We have to go back to my office
and work through this together
202
00:14:35,893 --> 00:14:37,428
before this gets
more out of hand.
203
00:14:37,496 --> 00:14:40,836
These are leftovers from Maruti,
which is one of my favorites.
204
00:14:40,902 --> 00:14:42,639
It's surprisingly good
for breakfast.
205
00:14:42,706 --> 00:14:44,209
This is chana palak.
206
00:14:44,276 --> 00:14:45,411
Put some of this on it.
207
00:14:45,477 --> 00:14:48,083
This is sabzi.
It's good with this one.
208
00:14:48,149 --> 00:14:50,054
For God's sake, Gene, Gene!
209
00:14:50,121 --> 00:14:51,389
My name's...
210
00:14:52,793 --> 00:14:54,930
My name's actually Sam.
211
00:14:59,405 --> 00:15:00,575
Sorry.
212
00:15:03,815 --> 00:15:05,952
It's important to eat.
213
00:15:06,721 --> 00:15:08,558
I'm not gonna eat.
214
00:15:08,625 --> 00:15:10,360
Gene-- Sam.
215
00:15:12,064 --> 00:15:14,469
You have to listen to me.
216
00:15:14,536 --> 00:15:15,605
I am listening.
217
00:15:15,672 --> 00:15:17,677
I am listening.
I know how to listen.
218
00:15:17,743 --> 00:15:19,479
I understand...
219
00:15:20,248 --> 00:15:22,352
...this is upsetting for you.
220
00:15:22,419 --> 00:15:23,186
I get that.
221
00:15:23,253 --> 00:15:25,391
It's a little scary,
222
00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:28,196
but this is the only way
that I could... I...
223
00:15:29,633 --> 00:15:31,403
I need help. I want help.
224
00:15:31,470 --> 00:15:34,577
I'm asking you for, for help.
225
00:15:34,644 --> 00:15:36,881
You said therapy can't work
if I'm not truthful.
226
00:15:36,948 --> 00:15:38,083
I know that you're right, so...
227
00:15:38,150 --> 00:15:39,920
Mm-mm. No.
No, you don't understand.
228
00:15:39,987 --> 00:15:42,526
I don't, I don't think you know
what you're doing to me.
229
00:15:42,592 --> 00:15:44,396
I realize it might take you
a little time
230
00:15:44,462 --> 00:15:45,665
to get used
to what's happening here.
231
00:15:45,732 --> 00:15:47,168
Whatever is troubling you,
232
00:15:47,234 --> 00:15:49,540
we can address it, but not here.
233
00:15:49,607 --> 00:15:51,745
-Not like this.
-Dr. Strauss, I have
much bigger problems
234
00:15:51,811 --> 00:15:53,313
than your other patients.
235
00:15:55,117 --> 00:15:57,556
I have a compulsion...
236
00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:01,095
...to kill people.
237
00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:08,009
A compulsion?
238
00:16:10,081 --> 00:16:11,550
Yeah, I do it.
239
00:16:17,563 --> 00:16:20,467
-Sam...
-I don't mean
just once or twice.
240
00:16:21,804 --> 00:16:24,008
Every once in a while I just...
241
00:16:24,876 --> 00:16:26,312
...do it.
242
00:16:28,751 --> 00:16:30,822
And this has gone on ever since,
243
00:16:30,889 --> 00:16:33,661
uh, for a long time.
244
00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:36,934
And I know I'm fucked up.
245
00:16:37,001 --> 00:16:38,972
I've read all the books,
246
00:16:39,038 --> 00:16:42,145
almost everything about,
uh, people like me,
247
00:16:42,212 --> 00:16:44,650
people who do this stuff,
and I can't...
248
00:16:47,689 --> 00:16:49,159
I want to stop.
249
00:16:49,226 --> 00:16:51,931
And I'm trying so hard.
250
00:16:51,998 --> 00:16:53,534
I'm trying so hard right now,
251
00:16:53,601 --> 00:16:55,238
but there's this guy,
there's this one guy,
252
00:16:55,304 --> 00:16:56,707
and I just want to...
253
00:16:56,774 --> 00:16:59,111
for months now...
254
00:16:59,980 --> 00:17:01,482
Uh, but I've not done it.
255
00:17:02,252 --> 00:17:03,588
'Cause I...
256
00:17:05,324 --> 00:17:06,628
Uh, because I can't.
257
00:17:06,694 --> 00:17:07,696
Now, you, I wish you knew
258
00:17:07,763 --> 00:17:09,332
what it was like
to live like this.
259
00:17:09,398 --> 00:17:11,103
It's not like what they say.
260
00:17:11,169 --> 00:17:12,740
Right? Where he's like a...
261
00:17:13,508 --> 00:17:15,478
Have you seen
Silence of the Lambs?
262
00:17:15,546 --> 00:17:18,116
Where he's like a robot.
(clears throat)
263
00:17:18,183 --> 00:17:19,620
It's not like that.
264
00:17:21,456 --> 00:17:22,191
Gene.
265
00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:25,230
-Sam.
-Sam.
266
00:17:27,001 --> 00:17:28,571
Unlock this chain.
267
00:17:28,638 --> 00:17:31,142
I'm going to walk out of here
and go back to my office.
268
00:17:31,209 --> 00:17:32,779
No, we already tried that.
269
00:17:32,846 --> 00:17:34,649
It didn't work without me
telling you the truth.
270
00:17:34,716 --> 00:17:36,854
It will be different
now that I know the truth.
271
00:17:36,921 --> 00:17:39,927
You will come to my office
two, three days a week.
272
00:17:39,993 --> 00:17:41,998
I cannot help you like this.
273
00:17:42,064 --> 00:17:43,834
This is just going
to make it worse.
274
00:17:44,770 --> 00:17:45,739
Let me go.
275
00:17:45,805 --> 00:17:47,174
I know you'd have to turn me in.
276
00:17:47,241 --> 00:17:50,480
No, no, no, no, no.
I would not have to turn you in.
277
00:17:51,216 --> 00:17:52,820
Legally, ethically,
278
00:17:52,886 --> 00:17:55,658
unless you told me you were
going to commit another crime,
279
00:17:55,725 --> 00:17:57,261
I can work with you.
280
00:17:57,327 --> 00:17:59,767
Everything you've told me
so far is confidential.
281
00:17:59,833 --> 00:18:01,837
I am gonna commit another crime.
282
00:18:02,806 --> 00:18:04,876
(exhaling)
283
00:18:08,818 --> 00:18:10,922
I know I'm not normal.
284
00:18:10,989 --> 00:18:12,859
But I don't feel crazy.
285
00:18:13,828 --> 00:18:15,097
I'm not...
286
00:18:15,164 --> 00:18:16,901
(sighs)
287
00:18:16,968 --> 00:18:19,439
I know this has to end, right?
This has to stop.
288
00:18:19,506 --> 00:18:22,444
I just, I don't know how.
289
00:18:25,719 --> 00:18:27,187
This is not the way.
290
00:18:28,223 --> 00:18:29,593
Well...
291
00:18:30,327 --> 00:18:31,897
I'm sorry.
292
00:18:36,139 --> 00:18:37,876
Really, you're the best.
293
00:18:37,943 --> 00:18:41,282
I met with three different
Jewish therapists.
294
00:18:42,318 --> 00:18:43,988
I chose you.
295
00:18:44,055 --> 00:18:46,325
Uh-huh.
296
00:18:52,939 --> 00:18:55,210
♪♪ ♪♪
297
00:20:57,822 --> 00:21:00,260
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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