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1
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,803
(Traffic noises
in the background)
2
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,972
(Horn honking)
3
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:39,540
Lucky, it's how my life
feels sometimes.
4
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:40,958
Like it isn't mine
5
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:44,836
but some fucked-up
alternate reality.
6
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,964
I'm a lucky man.
7
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:49,800
You think I don't realize that.
8
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:52,135
(Takes a deep breath)
9
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:55,347
First time I killed,
name was Eddie.
10
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:56,723
(Takes a deep breath)
11
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,142
Can't forget the look
in his eyes.
12
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:01,228
Fear.
13
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:04,231
Hadn't seen anything
like it before.
14
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,525
Pure fear.
15
00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:09,403
He would have done anything
to live.
16
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,488
But I had the gun
17
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:14,241
and Cicero gave the order.
18
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,410
Eddie's luck had run out.
19
00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:21,415
(Police siren wailing
in the background)
20
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:28,505
Guess I'm the lucky one.
21
00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:31,508
(Takes a deep breath)
22
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:33,594
Jason, thank you.
23
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,346
That was
a really strong performance.
24
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:37,389
You got me.
25
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:38,599
(Chuckles)
26
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,183
Right here.
27
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:43,687
I've gotta say, Jay--
28
00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:45,022
Um, oh,
do you mind if I call you "Jay"?
29
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:46,732
Sure.
30
00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,567
Jason, I was wondering is--
was that on the script
31
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:49,985
that we sent you?
32
00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:53,614
Uh, yeah, look, it's right here.
33
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,490
You see, you were reading the--
the character
34
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:56,617
of Hank's dialogue.
35
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:59,453
Yeah, yeah, I know that.
36
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,330
Well, we kind of saw you more
for Tommy.
37
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,372
Tommy?
38
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:05,208
Hank's uh, stoner buddy.
39
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:06,251
The fun guy.
40
00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:07,794
I know who Tommy is, but--
41
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:11,006
Dude, it's the perfect role
for you, bro.
42
00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:14,968
I mean we loved you in Clerks.
43
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,011
And Clerks I.
44
00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:17,054
Loved you.
45
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:18,013
ANTHONY:
Loved you.
46
00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:19,389
Come on, dude,
47
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:21,058
pooch
to the doochilly moochilly.
48
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:23,644
Snooch to the-- ugh.
49
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:24,978
Sam Lennox.
50
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,355
Excuse me?
51
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:27,981
The Golden Rocket.
52
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,359
Yeah, I know Sam Lennox.
53
00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:31,777
I've got a hockey stick back
at my place
54
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:34,655
signed
by the Golden Rocket himself.
55
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:37,407
It's one of my most
prized possessions.
56
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:42,746
That man could hit a slap shot
like no motherfucker alive.
57
00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:43,747
Rest of his game
wasn't up to much,
58
00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:46,249
but that slap shot...
59
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,168
Pow!
60
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:51,380
He built a career
for doing one thing incredibly.
61
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:55,509
And the man is a fucking legend.
62
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:57,844
You might wanna think
about that, mate.
63
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:03,225
You know, I do every time I see
that stick on my wall.
64
00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:04,810
You let us know about the part.
65
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,478
JAY:
I'll let you know.
66
00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:10,107
All my details are on here.
67
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:13,568
You get in touch anytime,
day or night.
68
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,112
Will do, thanks.
69
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:16,279
ANTHONY:
Jay.
70
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:17,698
Pow!
71
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,372
Mewes!
72
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:26,665
Jay Mewes?
73
00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,083
What's up, man?
74
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:29,418
Dude, can I get a picture
with you, huh?
75
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:30,544
Sure, yeah, sure, of course.
76
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,212
Oh man, you're a fucking legend.
77
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:34,798
I can't believe you are
still alive, bro.
78
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,050
Thanks, yeah, thanks for that.
79
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,844
Dude, you guys should do another
Jay and Silent Bob movie.
80
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,178
Um, yeah, it's up to Kevin.
81
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,221
This is awesome, thanks, man.
82
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,597
No problem, yeah.
83
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:48,937
(♪♪♪)
84
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:50,897
JAY:
Hey, I'm Jason Mewes
85
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,567
and I grew up in a small town
called "Highlands", New Jersey.
86
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,277
You could say I was
that mischievous kid
87
00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:57,028
known around the town,
88
00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:59,281
but the truth is my childhood
was kind of fucked up.
89
00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:00,490
My mom used to drive around
90
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:02,242
and have me steal
from mail boxes.
91
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:05,287
She was single, three kids,
no money, no job.
92
00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:07,414
Well,
at least not a taxable one.
93
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:10,584
Oh, and did I mention
she was addicted to drugs?
94
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,085
Guess a shrink
would tell you
95
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,421
that part kind of becomes
relevant later on.
96
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:15,797
The drugs killed my mom,
97
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,425
but that's not the story
I'm here to tell.
98
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:19,968
Not today anyway.
99
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:22,763
I wanna talk about a dude
named "Kevin Smith".
100
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,891
This motherfucker
changed my life.
101
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:27,768
He didn't really wanna hang out
with me when he first met me,
102
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,770
but I would not leave it alone,
man,
103
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,731
until finally
he started finding me funny.
104
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,608
Before you know it
we're hanging out all the time,
105
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,401
reading comic books and stuff.
106
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,028
Inseparable!
107
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:40,280
But I'm getting a little ahead
of myself here.
108
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,157
I started working in New Jersey
as a roofer
109
00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:45,619
while Kevin had this crazy idea
he could be making movies.
110
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,412
So he went off to film school.
111
00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:49,289
Next thing I know
Kevin quits film school
112
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:50,665
and he's using
all his credit cards
113
00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,417
to make his own movie.
114
00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:54,628
Some madness about clerks.
115
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,964
And thus Jay and Silent Bob
were born.
116
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:05,889
(♪♪♪)
117
00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:08,642
I'm Jay and this is
my hetero life mate Silent Bob.
118
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,105
I am the clit commander.
119
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,653
(Rapping):
♪ 15 bucks, little man ♪
120
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,488
♪ Put that shit in my hand ♪
121
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:27,619
(♪♪♪)
122
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:30,831
Justice!
123
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,916
(Police sirens wailing)
124
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:41,675
(♪♪♪)
125
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,468
Thank you for your contribution,
Claire.
126
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:45,011
Thank you for the chip in.
127
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,680
I know it doesn't seem like it
right now, but--
128
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,181
- (Sobs)
- It's gonna get better.
129
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,891
You just have to be brave
and hang in there.
130
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,184
Thank you.
131
00:05:56,982 --> 00:06:07,909
(♪♪♪)
132
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:09,452
Yeah,
everyone thinks I'm a gangster,
133
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,079
because of the roles I play,
Jay, you know?
134
00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:13,081
You're Vinnie Jones,
you're a fricking badass.
135
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,667
I mean you're a soccer star
turned movie star.
136
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:17,711
I mean who does that?
137
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:18,879
No one, Jay.
138
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,171
No one fucking does that.
139
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:21,673
JAY:
Hmm.
140
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,466
- VINNIE: I ever show you that.
- What?
141
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:24,926
You want me to work the nipples
while I cup the balls?
142
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,845
No, I fucking don't.
143
00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:28,889
No, where did you get that?
I've never seen that.
144
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,557
Back in the manor,
145
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,809
older lads held me down,
carved Big Ben in me chest.
146
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,812
They didn't do a bad job,
it's pretty good.
147
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,939
You know, Jay, life's not a walk
in the park, mate.
148
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,649
Could have been very different
for you and me.
149
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,192
That's very true.
150
00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:42,569
You know,
whenever I get negative
151
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,696
I always have a look
in the mirror,
152
00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:45,989
I look at the scar,
the clock,
153
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,782
- you know what I mean?
- Hmm.
154
00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:50,577
Brings it all,
keeps me grounded.
155
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,829
Fuck my balls, it's you!
156
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:54,915
Is the fat one nearby?
157
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,416
He's probably at home.
158
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:59,586
Hey, mate,
have you got a fat boy for me?
159
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:00,712
(Whispering)
A fat boy?
160
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:03,131
Not what you're thinking, ugh!
161
00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:04,925
Oh, you beauty!
162
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,218
Believe me, sir,
you could attack Russia
163
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:08,845
with this mother bitch.
164
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:10,597
- I might try it, mate,
- Please, be careful,
165
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,265
the health and safety record
is not--
166
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,267
Cool, it's cool.
167
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,769
It's for my mate,
it's his birthday next week,
168
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,020
he loves this shit.
169
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,605
Motherfucker!
170
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:19,898
What's the matter?
171
00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:22,192
This motherfucker on eBay,
man.
172
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:23,985
You're buying stuff
behind the Missus' back again?
173
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,321
This is number 69,
Hardwyre Hactivist.
174
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:32,786
(♪♪♪)
175
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:37,123
I want this so bad, Vinnie,
it makes my balls burn.
176
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,750
You can get cream for that,
you know, son?
177
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,627
How much you paying
for this fucking thing?
178
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:41,753
Way too much, man.
179
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,254
If I meet this motherfucker,
180
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:45,882
I'm gonna make him eat his dog
and phone.
181
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:49,094
VINNIE:
It's dog and bone, you prat.
182
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:50,804
- What?
- Dog and bone
183
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,931
is Cockney rhyming slang
for phone.
184
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:55,308
Dog and bone, phone,
you fucking Muppet.
185
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,851
Wait,
what does Muppet rhyme with?
186
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,186
Nothing!
187
00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:00,105
You are the Muppet!
188
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,111
JAY:
I appreciate this so much, Vin.
189
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:07,904
The podcast is
an hour's drive away
190
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,073
and I can't be late for Kevin.
191
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,993
I will obey every traffic law,
I will go the speed limit.
192
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,369
You get pulled over,
193
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:15,912
you're gonna be
in jail all night,
194
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:17,622
then I'm gonna have to come
and bail you out.
195
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,165
Well, my license is suspended,
I can't rent a car.
196
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,458
It's for one night.
197
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,129
I won't tell if you don't tell.
198
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,133
You break it, you buy it.
199
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,846
KEVIN:
Oh my God, I look so old.
200
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,889
God damn it, I hate it, man.
201
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,183
I look like my father
fucked my grandmother
202
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,852
and had me as a baby.
203
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,895
That's what I'm gonna talk about
tonight on the show.
204
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,439
You might wanna lighten up
a little bit,
205
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:43,982
you're so fucking bummed.
206
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,316
What's the matter,
little boy blue?
207
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:48,111
It's nothing, it's...
208
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,864
Oh, today was the audition,
wasn't it?
209
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,323
Didn't work out.
210
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:53,742
They just wanted you to be Jay,
right?
211
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:55,452
Their casting director
is an asshole.
212
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:57,162
I just don't understand
why they can't consider me
213
00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,997
for a serious role.
214
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:02,042
They don't necessarily think
of you as an actor,
215
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,501
like the moment you walk
into the room
216
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:06,796
and that's honestly,
probably my fault,
217
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:08,506
'cause I've made you
this character.
218
00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:10,050
No, I don't think
it's your fault.
219
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,718
You letting' me off the hook.
220
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,344
Good, 'cause I always thought
it was your fault,
221
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:14,888
because I based the character
on who you were
222
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,556
when you were a kid.
223
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,141
So technically, you dug
your own fucking grave.
224
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:19,559
Fuck you, Moves,
225
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,311
I just wanna be taken serious
for once.
226
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:23,229
Why don't you ask O'Halloran,
he's making a movie.
227
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,898
Brian O'Halloran is directing?
228
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,566
He submitted a script
to the studio,
229
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,359
they went apeshit,
they fucking bought it,
230
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:30,070
and they're letting him direct.
231
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,113
Um, The Odyssey.
232
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,573
No way, The Odyssey.
233
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,283
I read that
while we were doing Dogma
234
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,535
and we talked about it
a million times.
235
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:40,080
Dude, I'm like perfect
for the lead.
236
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,539
Oh, okay.
237
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,208
Well, look,
I think the main character
238
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,626
is very much like you.
239
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:46,503
Whether or not you should
play the lead,
240
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,046
that's a whole
different discussion.
241
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,422
Can you talk to him for me?
242
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,882
It will sound better coming
from you.
243
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:52,926
I-- I don't wanna get involved.
244
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,719
I don't want
to call Brian O'Halloran.
245
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,429
You know what happens
when you call Brian O'Halloran.
246
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,098
"Hey, man, pussy, man."
247
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,266
He talks about pussy
for like two hours and shit.
248
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:03,061
I'm 46,
I'm done talking about that.
249
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,479
Here's what you need to do.
250
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:05,647
You gotta drop science
on the fools.
251
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,023
You can't just walk into a room
252
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:08,441
and be like
"Snooch to the nooch."
253
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:09,609
They've seen that shit, man.
254
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,319
Jay and silly Bill are over.
255
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:13,279
What they want out of an actor
walk in to the room,
256
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,031
it's commanding presence, man.
257
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:16,616
Walk in there
like you're the authority
258
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,451
and drop some method
on their asses.
259
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:19,619
Method?
260
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,454
Alright,
fucking Daniel Day-Lewis
261
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:22,622
in My Left Foot
remember that shit?
262
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:23,957
No.
263
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,208
Alright, Suicide Squad.
264
00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:26,584
- Remember Jared Leto?
- Yes.
265
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,086
While they're making that movie,
266
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,295
there were all these stories
in the press
267
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,381
about he was going method on it.
268
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:34,300
He was trying to get
into the heart and soul
269
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,301
of that character.
270
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,678
That's what method is.
271
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:38,721
Method is when an actor,
such as yourself,
272
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,640
just immerses themselves,
273
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,308
puts their head
straight up the ass
274
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,185
of whatever character it is
they are playing.
275
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,437
Leto stuck his head
right up the Joker's ass.
276
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:48,481
Even when he wasn't on camera,
277
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,775
he was still
in the Joker mindset.
278
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:55,029
And as we saw from that movie,
it doesn't always work.
279
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:57,115
But like-- like Daniel Day-Lewis
made it work
280
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:58,616
in My Left Foot
motherfucker is in a wheelchair
281
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:01,161
for like 26 years prepping
for that role
282
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:02,745
and shit like that.
283
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,330
I don't understand a word
you're fucking saying.
284
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,249
Matt Damon once told me
about it.
285
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:07,959
I didn't get it.
286
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,419
He explained it to me
and he explained it thusly,
287
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:10,628
he said, "Read a book."
288
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,422
He goes, "Read this book."
289
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,174
And I'm gonna text you the name
of this fucking book.
290
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,676
"Read this book," he tells me,
"And I swear to you
291
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,803
not only will you understand
method acting,
292
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:22,098
but you yourself
will become a better director."
293
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:23,141
And I never fucking read it.
294
00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:24,309
You know who did?
Ben.
295
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:25,518
And he won an Oscar.
296
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:26,436
Is it there?
Did it pop up?
297
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,479
Yeah, it popped up.
298
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:29,772
You're the sweetest
fucking person
299
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,441
I know in this world, honestly.
300
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:33,693
Look, you've got
a $1,000,000 heart.
301
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,196
Nickel-head, but
a $1,000,000 heart, man.
302
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,531
Very few people like you
in the world, man.
303
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,533
Sweethearts get killed
in this business.
304
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,410
You've got to be a badass, dude.
305
00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:45,413
You gotta go into a room,
be the motherfucking boss.
306
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:46,539
The boss?
307
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,124
The motherfucking boss!
308
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:48,833
SINGER:
(Indistinct speech)
309
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,210
One up.
310
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:51,711
There is the song, brother.
The song.
311
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:53,379
We gotta do our exercises, man.
312
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:54,756
Okay, ready for this?
313
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:55,715
- (Indistinct lyrics)
- Lion face.
314
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:56,716
Roar!
315
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:57,884
Lemon face.
316
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,636
- Lion face.
- (Yelling)
317
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,429
Dick-sucking face.
318
00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:03,223
(Grunting)
319
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:04,599
- KEVIN: Now, we good.
- Yeah!
320
00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:05,975
- KEVIN: Let's go do this.
- Yeah.
321
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,477
KEVIN:
Go get 'em, man, go get 'em.
322
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:08,519
- Yeah, boy, yeah!
- (Indistinct speech)
323
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:09,646
Hold on, hold on, give it.
324
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:10,939
- Give me a hug.
- JAY: Oh.
325
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:12,315
- (Jay grunting)
- I love you, bro.
326
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:13,691
Be funny, make me laugh.
Make me laugh!
327
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,401
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
328
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:19,364
(Crowd cheering and applauding)
329
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:29,374
(♪♪♪)
330
00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,602
FERNANDO: (On the speaker) George,
you asshole , you call yourself security.
331
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,437
I told you I don't wanna see
that Latina girl
332
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:52,772
or any girl for that matter!
333
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,691
It-- it-- it-- it's me.
334
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,318
I-- I-- I talked to you online
about the method acting book.
335
00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:59,862
FERNANDO: (On the speaker)
Is there anyone else around?
336
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:01,864
No.
No, it's just me.
337
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:02,991
(Door lock buzzes)
338
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:15,628
(♪♪♪)
339
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,088
Hello?
340
00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:25,680
(♪♪♪)
341
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:30,977
FERNANDO: Snooch to
the motherfucking nooch.
342
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,061
(Chuckles)
343
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,063
I can't believe it's really you.
344
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,815
Wait a second,
do we know each other?
345
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,984
(Rapping)
♪ 15 bucks, little man ♪
346
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,445
(Rapping)
♪ Put the shit in my hand ♪
347
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:41,821
FERNANDO AND (Rapping
together) ♪ If that money doesn't show ♪
348
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,614
♪ Then you owe me, owe me, owe ♪
349
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:48,036
(Singing)
♪ If that money doesn't show ♪
350
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:51,914
♪ Then you owe me, owe me ♪
351
00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:54,917
♪ Owe ♪
352
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,631
Do not fall in love with me.
353
00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:02,091
Wait, what-- what do you mean?
I mean...
354
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,676
What are you doing in my house?
355
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,179
Oh, I came here
to purchase the book, so...
356
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,847
You wanna die, Snoogans Boy!
357
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,057
What tha-- uh, sir, I'm just--
358
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,892
My name is Fernando Villa real.
359
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:12,935
I-- uh, uh, uh...
360
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,064
(Chuckling)
361
00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:17,148
(Laughing)
362
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,067
JAY:
Oh, yeah.
363
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,443
I'm just messing with you.
364
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,070
(Laughing)
365
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:23,529
It's a pleasure
to meet you, man.
366
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,490
I've seen all your movies.
367
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,200
JAY:
Thanks.
368
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,910
You thought I'd shoot you
for real, huh?
369
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:30,203
Well, I uh, I've--
370
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,204
Thought you were messing
with me,
371
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,040
Mr. Thingything.
372
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:38,961
I'll see if I shoot you
with uh, chief of police's gun.
373
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,713
What the fuck?
374
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:53,226
Listen to me very carefully,
Mewes.
375
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:56,521
I cannot let this book go just
to anyone.
376
00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:59,315
It is the only one in existence.
377
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,904
You have to read it slowly.
378
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,573
You can't mainline it.
379
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,243
Cut it up with other books.
380
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:15,748
Get some Chaucer, Dickens in you
at the same time.
381
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:16,749
Uh, Dickens uh--
382
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:22,755
Once you read the book,
you can't unread it.
383
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:32,765
(♪♪♪)
384
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:40,106
It is not a guide
to successful acting,
385
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:43,234
it is a guide to life.
386
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,614
JAY:
Carrie, baby, you home?
387
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:55,163
(♪♪♪)
388
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:56,956
Come on, motherfucker.
389
00:15:57,123 --> 00:16:04,172
(♪♪♪)
390
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,798
Oh, hey, baby.
391
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:06,966
Where you been?
392
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,634
Just out with some girlfriends.
393
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,761
Oh!
394
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:12,096
What's that?
395
00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:13,639
It's Vinnie's.
396
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,266
You brought Vinnie's bomb
into the house?
397
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:18,436
No, no, it's not a bomb,
it's a fat boy.
398
00:16:18,603 --> 00:16:19,979
Alright, I'll get the bomb--
399
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,355
Out of the house.
400
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:22,899
I tried to call you earlier.
401
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:24,859
Did you fix the roof today?
402
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:29,071
You do know what this means,
don't you?
403
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:31,657
Jay's been a bad Jay.
404
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:36,829
And what happens when Jay's been
a very bad Jay?
405
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:41,459
I am the clit commander.
406
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,085
Oh!
407
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,963
(Chuckling)
Command my clit, commander.
408
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,465
Snoochie boochie!
409
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:50,343
CARRIE:
Oh, command my clit, commander.
410
00:16:50,510 --> 00:17:00,353
(♪♪♪)
411
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,417
Feel the anger.
412
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:26,337
Feel it for real.
413
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:27,463
Fuck!
414
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:28,881
Fuck you.
415
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:29,924
Fuck you.
416
00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:31,050
What?
417
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,260
What mother...
418
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,439
Snoochie boochies.
419
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:46,983
Snoochie boochies.
420
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:49,318
- (Indistinct whispering)
- Snoochie boochies.
421
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,404
- Snoochie boochies.
- JAY: So much shit.
422
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,281
- Snoochie boochies.
- JAY: Fuck.
423
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:03,958
Welcome to movie star rating.com.
424
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:05,418
Type in your favourite film star
425
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,336
to find out their rating
on our charts
426
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,088
and thus
their current importance
427
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,381
to the movie business.
428
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,343
I'm sorry.
429
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:16,095
There's no current news
about this actor.
430
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,931
Perhaps you spelled it
incorrectly.
431
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,391
JAY:
What the hell?
432
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:32,695
Fuck you.
433
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,947
Time for drastic action.
434
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:44,999
(♪♪♪)
435
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,760
I'll show 'em crazy.
436
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:58,596
Hollywood wants
something drastic.
437
00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:00,431
Scare 'em for real.
438
00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:01,474
That's right.
439
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:02,475
Give me that method.
440
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:03,476
Method!
441
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,685
(Grunting)
442
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:16,739
(♪♪♪)
443
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,581
(Doorbell rings)
444
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:33,673
(Doorbell ringing)
445
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,094
What the fuck?
446
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,512
- Yes, Jason?
- Hey, motherfucker--
447
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,472
- Whoa!
- Fuck.
448
00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:42,890
You don't think I'm good enough
for your piece-of-shit movie,
449
00:19:43,057 --> 00:19:44,058
- huh?
- I didn't fucking say-- shit.
450
00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:45,393
(Indistinct speech and yelling)
451
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:46,644
- Whoa, whoa whoa, whoa.
- (Yelling)
452
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:48,396
Jay--
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
453
00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:49,438
- (Anthony grunting)
- You think you know me, bitch?
454
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:50,523
You don't know me.
455
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,692
(Anthony grunting)
456
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,318
Jay, Jay, whoa!
457
00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:58,489
- Whoa!
- Pow, bitch!
458
00:19:58,656 --> 00:19:59,657
Whoa, oh!
459
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:02,827
It was just a misunderstanding!
460
00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:04,870
(Yelling)
461
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,789
Oh, you motherfucker!
462
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:08,416
Where the fuck are you?
463
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:09,500
Where the fuck?
464
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:10,584
(Yelling)
465
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:19,802
(♪♪♪)
466
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:21,303
(Yells)
467
00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:25,349
(Grunts)
468
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:28,477
(Yelling)
469
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:38,529
(♪♪♪)
470
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:45,953
JAY: (Whispering)
Shit, the keys.
471
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:58,966
(♪♪♪)
472
00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:00,426
JAY: (Whispering)
Fuck, where is he?
473
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:10,436
(♪♪♪)
474
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:17,735
Shit, Jason, don't be stupid.
475
00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:27,787
(♪♪♪)
476
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,962
(Engine revvs)
477
00:21:38,214 --> 00:21:39,757
ANTHONY:
Oh, motherfucker!
478
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:46,472
You, motherfucker!
479
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,015
Pow!
480
00:21:50,226 --> 00:21:51,101
(Exhales)
481
00:21:51,268 --> 00:21:52,812
Oh shit!
Be calm.
482
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:54,814
Get this out of the way
and breathe.
483
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,357
Hazards.
484
00:21:56,524 --> 00:21:58,692
Reverse.
485
00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:00,444
I got this.
486
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,447
Oh.
487
00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:06,659
Okay, okay.
488
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:08,661
Okay.
489
00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,412
Oof, okay.
490
00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:11,747
Phew!
491
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,708
You cool, bro?
492
00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:16,502
I think I might've nicked you
with the car there.
493
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:21,507
(Dog barking in the distance)
494
00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:26,804
Anthony?
495
00:22:28,722 --> 00:22:29,682
Bro?
496
00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:33,727
(Taking deep breaths)
497
00:22:33,894 --> 00:22:35,855
Okay.
498
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:37,773
Okay, Jason Mewes,
you got this, man.
499
00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:39,650
Okay, method this.
500
00:22:39,817 --> 00:22:41,151
You got this.
501
00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:44,196
Come on.
502
00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:45,656
Oops, sorry about that.
503
00:22:45,823 --> 00:22:48,576
Alright.
504
00:22:53,998 --> 00:22:55,499
JAY:
Oh shit!
505
00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:58,836
Not cool, bro.
506
00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:00,838
He didn't see me, man.
507
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:03,966
I do yoga.
508
00:23:05,718 --> 00:23:07,219
Fuck, he might've saw me.
509
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:08,679
What the fuck!
510
00:23:08,846 --> 00:23:10,055
Fuck!
511
00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:11,974
He might've fucking saw me,
shit.
512
00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:13,559
Nah, he didn't see me.
513
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:14,935
He couldn't have seen me.
514
00:23:15,102 --> 00:23:16,228
I was like this.
515
00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:17,897
Like this.
516
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:19,481
He might have saw me.
517
00:23:19,648 --> 00:23:21,984
Nah, he didn't see me,
I'm too fucking good.
518
00:23:22,151 --> 00:23:23,736
Shit.
519
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:32,661
Shit.
520
00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:55,851
Jay, what the fucking hell
are you doing?
521
00:23:56,018 --> 00:23:57,603
Uh--
I was just returning your car.
522
00:23:57,770 --> 00:23:59,021
I mean I--
523
00:23:59,188 --> 00:24:00,689
Why couldn't you wait
till the morning?
524
00:24:00,856 --> 00:24:02,274
I just thought you needed
the car back early, right?
525
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:03,943
- So...
- No, I don't need it early.
526
00:24:04,109 --> 00:24:05,361
I'm sorry, bro, I just--
527
00:24:05,527 --> 00:24:06,278
I just wanted
to make sure you had it--
528
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:07,363
Do you want a lift?
529
00:24:07,529 --> 00:24:08,697
No, no, I'm gonna walk, the la--
530
00:24:08,864 --> 00:24:10,115
Stay here if you want.
531
00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:11,659
No, it's like my old lady
wants me home,
532
00:24:11,825 --> 00:24:13,160
like do the like cuddling
and stuff.
533
00:24:13,327 --> 00:24:14,954
Plus,
she has me on this diet thing,
534
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:16,288
she thinks I'm getting fat,
so I'll walk.
535
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:17,247
- Oh!
- It's fine.
536
00:24:17,414 --> 00:24:19,833
Thank you.
537
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,752
Fucking Muppet.
538
00:24:23,504 --> 00:24:26,674
(Taking deep breaths)
539
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:36,725
(♪♪♪)
540
00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:46,151
Fuck that.
541
00:24:57,204 --> 00:24:58,956
♪ Shh ♪
542
00:25:02,876 --> 00:25:04,837
♪ Shh ♪
543
00:25:05,004 --> 00:25:07,965
♪ It's oh so quiet ♪
544
00:25:08,132 --> 00:25:10,384
♪ Shh, shh ♪
545
00:25:10,551 --> 00:25:12,720
♪ It's oh so still ♪
546
00:25:12,886 --> 00:25:14,013
Pow, bitch!
547
00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:16,098
♪ Shh, shh ♪
548
00:25:16,265 --> 00:25:19,059
♪ You're all alone ♪
549
00:25:19,226 --> 00:25:21,186
♪ Shh, shh ♪
550
00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:24,481
♪ And so peaceful until ♪
551
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,360
♪ You fall in love ♪
552
00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:30,154
♪ Zing boom ♪
553
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,072
♪ The sky up above ♪
554
00:25:32,239 --> 00:25:33,532
♪ Zing boom ♪
555
00:25:33,699 --> 00:25:35,534
♪ Is caving in ♪
556
00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:37,369
♪ Wow, bam ♪
557
00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:40,205
♪ You've never been so nuts
about a guy ♪
558
00:25:40,372 --> 00:25:41,999
♪ You wanna laugh,
you wanna cry ♪
559
00:25:42,166 --> 00:25:44,001
♪ You cross your heart
and hope to die ♪
560
00:25:45,294 --> 00:25:46,545
CARRIE:
Jason.
561
00:25:46,712 --> 00:25:48,464
- Jason, Jason!
- Huh?
562
00:25:48,630 --> 00:25:50,132
Something's happened to Vinnie.
563
00:25:50,299 --> 00:25:51,925
- Vinnie?
- Listen.
564
00:25:52,092 --> 00:25:53,969
Early hours of the morning,
Mr. Jones,
565
00:25:54,136 --> 00:25:55,554
the well-known British sports
and movie star
566
00:25:55,721 --> 00:25:57,222
was taken into custody.
567
00:25:57,389 --> 00:26:00,059
Our sources report
that the charge is homicide.
568
00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:01,935
Jones has a reputation
on the soccer field
569
00:26:02,102 --> 00:26:06,482
for grabbing genitalia
and for his big hard tackles.
570
00:26:06,648 --> 00:26:07,566
That'll be the press.
571
00:26:07,733 --> 00:26:08,692
They know you guys were friends.
572
00:26:11,070 --> 00:26:13,155
Mr. Jason Mewes,
I should have known.
573
00:26:13,322 --> 00:26:14,448
Excuse me?
574
00:26:14,615 --> 00:26:15,824
I need to ask you
a few questions
575
00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:17,201
regarding a homicide
that happened
576
00:26:17,367 --> 00:26:19,036
in the Hollywood Hills
last night.
577
00:26:19,203 --> 00:26:20,370
A homicide,
I can't help you with that,
578
00:26:20,537 --> 00:26:23,165
I've been home here
the whole night.
579
00:26:23,332 --> 00:26:24,917
- You need to stop resisting.
- But, wait a second.
580
00:26:25,084 --> 00:26:26,502
I'm not resisting,
I'm just saying
581
00:26:26,668 --> 00:26:27,920
that I don't know anything
about a homicide--
582
00:26:28,087 --> 00:26:29,254
- Suspect is resisting!
- (Jay grunting)
583
00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:31,340
You have the right
to remain silent.
584
00:26:40,682 --> 00:26:43,018
(Chuckling)
585
00:26:48,607 --> 00:26:51,401
Does the name Anthony Costalino
ring a bell?
586
00:26:52,486 --> 00:26:53,946
No.
587
00:26:54,113 --> 00:26:55,239
He was murdered outside
of his home last night
588
00:26:55,405 --> 00:26:56,323
in an apparent hit-and-run.
589
00:26:56,490 --> 00:26:57,491
(Yelling)
590
00:26:57,658 --> 00:26:59,243
Uh, I'm s-- sorry to hear that.
591
00:26:59,409 --> 00:27:02,204
We have reason to believe
that there was an altercation
592
00:27:02,371 --> 00:27:04,414
that took place inside
of his home prior to the murder.
593
00:27:04,581 --> 00:27:05,666
(Yelling)
594
00:27:05,833 --> 00:27:08,001
Um, with all due respect,
officer--
595
00:27:08,168 --> 00:27:09,211
Detective.
596
00:27:09,378 --> 00:27:10,379
What does that have to do
with me?
597
00:27:10,546 --> 00:27:11,839
Vinnie Jones' car was confirmed
598
00:27:12,005 --> 00:27:14,174
- as the hit-and-run vehicle.
- What?
599
00:27:14,341 --> 00:27:16,009
The neighbor was able
to write down the plates
600
00:27:16,176 --> 00:27:18,971
right before the car sped off.
601
00:27:19,138 --> 00:27:21,431
We found fragments of brain
and skull--
602
00:27:21,598 --> 00:27:24,977
- Buddy?
- All up in the grill.
603
00:27:25,144 --> 00:27:29,273
I guess the uh, murderer forgot
to clean that up, didn't he?
604
00:27:29,439 --> 00:27:31,150
Well, what does Vinnie have
to say about it?
605
00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:32,651
It's like I'm going off
my fucking head.
606
00:27:32,818 --> 00:27:34,695
Vinnie is adamantly denying
all charges.
607
00:27:34,862 --> 00:27:36,196
And the witness?
608
00:27:36,363 --> 00:27:38,157
We were lucky the witness
said anything--
609
00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:39,783
Oh !
Oh my God !
610
00:27:39,950 --> 00:27:41,201
(Sobbing)
611
00:27:41,368 --> 00:27:43,287
He's a bit traumatized
by the situation,
612
00:27:43,453 --> 00:27:45,247
but the doctor said
that he'll be back in a week
613
00:27:45,414 --> 00:27:48,167
and we'll be having
a nice little chit chat with him
614
00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:50,252
about exactly what happened
that night.
615
00:27:50,419 --> 00:27:51,628
He-- he probably would have
blurted something out
616
00:27:51,795 --> 00:27:53,422
when he gave you the plates,
right?
617
00:27:53,589 --> 00:27:55,299
So he probably
doesn't know anything.
618
00:27:57,426 --> 00:27:58,886
Do you recognize this,
Mr. Mewes?
619
00:27:59,052 --> 00:28:00,429
This is my wallet,
I've been looking for that.
620
00:28:00,596 --> 00:28:03,140
We found it in the back
of Mr. Jones' car.
621
00:28:03,307 --> 00:28:05,184
You know what, actually,
I was in the supermarket.
622
00:28:05,350 --> 00:28:07,394
He-- he drove me
to the supermarket yesterday
623
00:28:07,561 --> 00:28:09,521
and I think I must have
dropped it in there.
624
00:28:09,688 --> 00:28:11,356
- I mean...
- And you were driving the car?
625
00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:12,733
No, no, no, Vinnie dropped me.
626
00:28:12,900 --> 00:28:13,650
Because you are not allowed
to drive,
627
00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:14,735
are you, Mr. Mewes?
628
00:28:14,902 --> 00:28:17,404
I can drive starting today.
629
00:28:17,571 --> 00:28:19,281
You lost your license
for speeding.
630
00:28:19,448 --> 00:28:20,532
Finding a wallet
in the back seat
631
00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:22,242
of a friend's car
is enough reason
632
00:28:22,409 --> 00:28:24,119
to charge someone for murder?
633
00:28:24,286 --> 00:28:25,454
Should we arrest you for murder?
634
00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:26,997
Isn't that why I'm here?
635
00:28:27,164 --> 00:28:28,332
You are here, because you were
resisting arrest
636
00:28:28,498 --> 00:28:29,791
and you showed
extreme aggression
637
00:28:29,958 --> 00:28:31,376
towards detective Peterson
and myself.
638
00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:32,586
You're not pressing charges.
639
00:28:32,753 --> 00:28:34,129
No.
640
00:28:34,296 --> 00:28:37,633
But, Mr. Mewes,
don't go far now.
641
00:28:37,799 --> 00:28:39,635
JAY:
Hopefully not.
642
00:28:43,347 --> 00:28:45,849
Is uh, Vinnie allowed
to have visitors?
643
00:28:46,016 --> 00:28:47,809
You've gotta to go
and get me out of here.
644
00:28:47,976 --> 00:28:48,852
(Sighing)
You gotta spring me.
645
00:28:49,019 --> 00:28:49,937
And I'll be in the cell?
646
00:28:50,103 --> 00:28:51,563
I'm-- I'm going insane here.
647
00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:55,400
This is getting deeper
and deeper in the shit.
648
00:28:55,567 --> 00:28:56,860
Yeah, mate.
649
00:28:57,027 --> 00:28:58,904
Give us five minutes,
will you leave?
650
00:28:59,071 --> 00:28:59,947
Pleased to see you, mate.
651
00:29:00,113 --> 00:29:01,281
They brought me down, too.
652
00:29:01,448 --> 00:29:02,783
They found my wallet
in your car.
653
00:29:02,950 --> 00:29:03,951
I know they did,
but I didn't give 'em your name.
654
00:29:04,117 --> 00:29:05,285
Plenty of things I am.
655
00:29:05,452 --> 00:29:07,788
One thing I ain't is
a fucking grass.
656
00:29:07,955 --> 00:29:09,623
But I'm sorry
to have to ask this.
657
00:29:09,790 --> 00:29:13,752
No,
I know what you're gonna say.
658
00:29:13,919 --> 00:29:15,712
You have anything
to do with this at all?
659
00:29:15,879 --> 00:29:17,256
Man, I swear I do not.
660
00:29:17,422 --> 00:29:18,757
I don't know what--
what's going on here.
661
00:29:18,924 --> 00:29:20,926
I'm embarrassed
to fucking say it.
662
00:29:21,093 --> 00:29:23,804
You ever met this geezer,
Anthony Costalino?
663
00:29:23,971 --> 00:29:24,888
Um, never.
664
00:29:25,055 --> 00:29:26,265
You never saw anyone around
665
00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:27,933
when you dropped the car off,
did you?
666
00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:30,519
Any little detail that could
help me out a little bit
667
00:29:30,686 --> 00:29:32,729
and-- Jay.
668
00:29:32,896 --> 00:29:34,356
Jay?
Anything.
669
00:29:34,523 --> 00:29:35,482
No, I didn't see anything,
you know?
670
00:29:35,649 --> 00:29:37,025
Nothing at all.
671
00:29:37,192 --> 00:29:38,318
It's gotta be something
I'd done years ago
672
00:29:38,485 --> 00:29:39,653
and they've got the beef
about it.
673
00:29:39,820 --> 00:29:41,321
Seriously?
674
00:29:41,488 --> 00:29:42,990
Trying to stitch me right up.
675
00:29:43,156 --> 00:29:47,035
They found the idiot's blood
on the door fucking mat.
676
00:29:47,202 --> 00:29:48,829
I've put me hands up
loads of times.
677
00:29:48,996 --> 00:29:50,789
Fucking do the crime,
you do the time, and that's it.
678
00:29:50,956 --> 00:29:52,582
I've got nothing
to do with this, Jay,
679
00:29:52,749 --> 00:29:54,084
you know that.
680
00:29:54,251 --> 00:29:56,378
(Sighing)
681
00:29:56,545 --> 00:29:57,462
You know-- you know what?
682
00:29:57,629 --> 00:29:59,464
I'm gonna fix this, bro.
683
00:29:59,631 --> 00:30:00,632
I'm gonna get you out.
684
00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:01,550
What do you mean you'll fix it?
685
00:30:01,717 --> 00:30:02,467
How can you fix it?
686
00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:03,635
Just sit tight.
687
00:30:03,802 --> 00:30:04,845
What do you mean sit tight?
688
00:30:05,012 --> 00:30:05,846
Jay!
689
00:30:06,013 --> 00:30:06,972
Jay!
690
00:30:07,139 --> 00:30:15,105
(♪♪♪)
691
00:30:15,272 --> 00:30:16,606
(Sighs)
692
00:30:16,773 --> 00:30:18,483
Can I speak
to Detective Arnold, please?
693
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:21,320
And what is it concerning?
694
00:30:21,486 --> 00:30:23,530
It's
about the Vinnie Jones murder.
695
00:30:27,701 --> 00:30:28,910
One moment please.
696
00:30:30,787 --> 00:30:33,623
(Phone ringing)
697
00:30:34,750 --> 00:30:36,585
Hi, Geena, I've--
698
00:30:36,752 --> 00:30:37,586
GEENA: (On the phone) I
know you got arrested for murder
699
00:30:37,753 --> 00:30:38,503
or something like that.
700
00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:40,088
Are you out yet?
701
00:30:40,255 --> 00:30:42,007
Because if you're not,
whatever you are doing
702
00:30:42,174 --> 00:30:45,552
is not as important
as this right now.
703
00:30:45,719 --> 00:30:47,012
And even if you are
still under arrest,
704
00:30:47,179 --> 00:30:48,597
you need to escape.
705
00:30:48,764 --> 00:30:51,641
Eva Campbell from
Haw fucking thorn productions,
706
00:30:51,808 --> 00:30:53,602
- she wants you to come in.
- Hawthorn?
707
00:30:53,769 --> 00:30:55,645
They just turned me down
for a role last month.
708
00:30:55,812 --> 00:30:58,440
Oliver Radburn
just called in sick,
709
00:30:58,607 --> 00:30:59,691
first day of the shoot.
710
00:30:59,858 --> 00:31:00,734
Is he alright?
711
00:31:00,901 --> 00:31:02,069
Oh, who the hell knows?
712
00:31:02,235 --> 00:31:03,570
The producer saw you
getting arrested
713
00:31:03,737 --> 00:31:05,655
on TV this morning.
714
00:31:05,822 --> 00:31:07,699
Thinks you fit
in the role perfectly,
715
00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:11,078
but you gotta make it in there
right now.
716
00:31:11,244 --> 00:31:14,581
Eva says they are holding
the entire production.
717
00:31:14,748 --> 00:31:17,709
They are sitting around wasting
thousands of dollars an hour.
718
00:31:17,876 --> 00:31:19,127
This is the film business.
719
00:31:19,294 --> 00:31:20,379
You don't waste
that kind of money--
720
00:31:20,545 --> 00:31:22,839
(Grunts)
Ain't the fucking "90s.
721
00:31:23,006 --> 00:31:24,800
They're desperate!
722
00:31:24,966 --> 00:31:26,468
Is there many lines?
723
00:31:26,635 --> 00:31:27,928
Eva is going crazy.
724
00:31:28,095 --> 00:31:29,930
She says this part is
a game-changer,
725
00:31:30,097 --> 00:31:31,056
a career-changer.
726
00:31:31,223 --> 00:31:33,558
Could steal the entire movie.
727
00:31:33,725 --> 00:31:35,143
(On the phone) You're looking
at a guaranteed theatrical.
728
00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:38,021
This is gonna slam you
right where you wanna be.
729
00:31:38,188 --> 00:31:41,900
Opportunities don't drop
in your lap like this.
730
00:31:42,067 --> 00:31:44,069
It's a perfect storm,
you son of a bitch,
731
00:31:44,236 --> 00:31:46,071
so don't fuck this up.
732
00:31:46,238 --> 00:31:47,572
Get your ass over there
733
00:31:47,739 --> 00:31:48,907
and try not to kill anybody
on the way.
734
00:31:49,074 --> 00:31:50,450
Jesus, Geena !
735
00:31:50,617 --> 00:31:51,576
GEENA: (On the
phone) What? Too soon?
736
00:31:51,743 --> 00:31:53,161
Oh God, you can't take a joke.
737
00:31:53,328 --> 00:31:54,788
Alright, well,
just get your ass down there,
738
00:31:54,955 --> 00:31:56,206
Alright, Jason?
739
00:31:56,373 --> 00:31:57,958
Jason?
740
00:31:58,125 --> 00:31:59,876
Oh, come on, Jason.
741
00:32:00,043 --> 00:32:01,753
- You wanna see me?
- GEENA: Are you there ?
742
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:03,004
Jason!
743
00:32:03,171 --> 00:32:04,214
Yeah, I, uh--
744
00:32:04,381 --> 00:32:06,299
GEENA: (On the phone)
Jay!
745
00:32:06,466 --> 00:32:08,260
-1, uh--
- Drop in your lap.
746
00:32:08,427 --> 00:32:09,261
Career-changer.
747
00:32:09,428 --> 00:32:10,262
Eva Campbell.
748
00:32:10,429 --> 00:32:11,930
Opportunities.
749
00:32:12,097 --> 00:32:13,181
Steal the entire movie.
750
00:32:13,348 --> 00:32:15,100
Don't fuck this up.
751
00:32:15,267 --> 00:32:16,810
(Grunting)
752
00:32:16,977 --> 00:32:18,603
Yeah, I wanted to make sure
there is no bad blood
753
00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:20,730
between the two of us
and I was just gonna say
754
00:32:20,897 --> 00:32:22,774
if I can be
of any further assistance,
755
00:32:22,941 --> 00:32:24,109
just please give me a call.
756
00:32:24,276 --> 00:32:27,028
And I hope
you find the real killer.
757
00:32:27,195 --> 00:32:28,196
Thanks.
758
00:32:30,157 --> 00:32:30,949
NEWS REPORTER 1:
Mr. Mewes!
759
00:32:31,116 --> 00:32:33,160
Mr. Jay!
760
00:32:33,326 --> 00:32:36,746
(Police sirens wailing)
761
00:32:36,913 --> 00:32:48,800
(♪♪♪)
762
00:32:48,967 --> 00:32:51,803
(Harold yelling)
763
00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:59,186
(♪♪♪)
764
00:32:59,352 --> 00:33:01,229
Hello, David.
765
00:33:01,396 --> 00:33:05,066
Have you ever tried acupuncture?
766
00:33:05,233 --> 00:33:07,944
You see what's really amazing is
if you stab right here--
767
00:33:08,111 --> 00:33:09,488
(Indistinct speech)
768
00:33:09,654 --> 00:33:10,405
You feel the pain simultaneously
in your feet.
769
00:33:10,572 --> 00:33:11,406
ZACH:
Cut! Cut!
770
00:33:11,573 --> 00:33:12,949
For God's sake, cut.
771
00:33:13,116 --> 00:33:13,992
Put the light on.
772
00:33:14,159 --> 00:33:16,077
Okay, lights up, please.
773
00:33:16,244 --> 00:33:17,412
(Harold grunting)
774
00:33:17,579 --> 00:33:18,997
(Clears his throat)
775
00:33:19,164 --> 00:33:20,373
Jason,
776
00:33:20,540 --> 00:33:22,167
darling, that was
absolutely spellbinding.
777
00:33:22,334 --> 00:33:23,585
Thank you.
778
00:33:23,752 --> 00:33:26,421
Uh, oh,
are you doing your method there?
779
00:33:26,588 --> 00:33:27,506
Sorry.
780
00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:29,090
Uh, I'll give you a moment.
781
00:33:29,257 --> 00:33:31,843
Harold, darling,
I believed your pain,
782
00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:33,929
but you forgot your cue
at the end, darling.
783
00:33:34,095 --> 00:33:35,096
Um, passing out, remember?
784
00:33:35,263 --> 00:33:36,181
Oh, you believed
my fucking pain,
785
00:33:36,348 --> 00:33:37,599
'cause I'm in fucking agony.
786
00:33:37,766 --> 00:33:39,100
I told you that blade
is too sharp.
787
00:33:39,267 --> 00:33:42,020
ZACH:
May I see the blade, please?
788
00:33:42,187 --> 00:33:43,271
That bastard Mewes' role.
789
00:33:43,438 --> 00:33:45,023
Uh, he's-- he's enjoying this.
790
00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:46,483
I could see it in his eyes.
791
00:33:46,650 --> 00:33:48,193
Oh, for God's sakes, Harold.
792
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:50,445
Man up, the blade's
not that bloody sharp.
793
00:33:55,116 --> 00:33:56,952
Lunch, everybody.
794
00:33:57,118 --> 00:33:57,911
Lunch, everybody!
795
00:33:58,078 --> 00:34:00,872
That's lunch.
796
00:34:01,039 --> 00:34:03,124
Right, I spent
three fucking years at RADA...
797
00:34:03,291 --> 00:34:05,919
(Indiscernible speech)
798
00:34:06,086 --> 00:34:09,256
Fucking silent,
fucking Sponge Bob thinks
799
00:34:09,422 --> 00:34:10,840
he's fucking Robert De Niro.
800
00:34:11,007 --> 00:34:13,885
Mr. Jason Mewes!
801
00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:15,637
A word please, sir.
802
00:34:18,265 --> 00:34:22,060
That was a very impressive
performance young man,
803
00:34:22,227 --> 00:34:23,228
very impressive.
804
00:34:23,395 --> 00:34:24,521
Thank you, sir.
805
00:34:24,688 --> 00:34:27,232
I can see
that look in your eyes.
806
00:34:27,399 --> 00:34:29,609
It's green,
it's fucking dynamite.
807
00:34:29,776 --> 00:34:33,530
No more Snoogans for you,
no, sir.
808
00:34:33,697 --> 00:34:37,534
This whole method thing
suits you very well.
809
00:34:37,701 --> 00:34:39,619
It brings out all
of your darkness.
810
00:34:39,786 --> 00:34:40,954
Oh yes.
811
00:34:43,498 --> 00:34:45,041
Snoochie boochies.
812
00:34:45,208 --> 00:34:46,376
Snoochie boochies.
813
00:34:46,543 --> 00:34:47,460
Snoochie boochies.
814
00:34:50,380 --> 00:34:52,966
JAY:
I am the clit commander.
815
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:57,387
Jason Mewes is back.
816
00:34:57,554 --> 00:34:59,222
Straight after getting arrested,
817
00:34:59,389 --> 00:35:01,266
Mewes landed a role
on Acupuncture Killer
818
00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:02,601
and the producers are--
819
00:35:05,562 --> 00:35:07,480
BRIAN: I'm not even
supposed to be here right now.
820
00:35:07,647 --> 00:35:09,691
Rumors are flying
all over Hollywood
821
00:35:09,858 --> 00:35:11,401
about who Brian O'Halloran
is going to cast
822
00:35:11,568 --> 00:35:12,944
in his movie The Odyssey ,
823
00:35:13,111 --> 00:35:16,615
which is due
to start filming very soon.
824
00:35:16,781 --> 00:35:19,534
O'Halloran, fucker.
825
00:35:19,701 --> 00:35:27,500
(♪♪♪)
826
00:35:27,667 --> 00:35:29,669
BRIAN: (On voice message)
This is Brian O'Halloran.
827
00:35:29,836 --> 00:35:31,463
Clearly, I'm not supposed
to be here right now.
828
00:35:31,630 --> 00:35:32,631
So leave me a message
after the beep.
829
00:35:32,797 --> 00:35:34,758
Stan tea, please.
830
00:35:34,924 --> 00:35:37,552
Hey, can you please uh,
maybe give me a call back
831
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:39,095
or answer your phone?
832
00:35:40,930 --> 00:35:42,223
Thanks, brother.
833
00:35:42,390 --> 00:35:43,725
Fucker, man!
834
00:35:43,892 --> 00:35:45,727
He's-- track you down
and kick that ass.
835
00:35:45,894 --> 00:35:48,563
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
836
00:35:48,730 --> 00:35:49,522
DEAN:
Jay, it's me.
837
00:35:49,689 --> 00:35:50,649
(Clears throat)
838
00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:51,733
DEAN:
It's me, Jason.
839
00:35:51,900 --> 00:35:53,485
Me?
Who-- who's me?
840
00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:54,569
- It's Dean.
- Dean Cain, whoa!
841
00:35:54,736 --> 00:35:57,238
Dude, no!
Sh-- shut up.
842
00:35:57,405 --> 00:35:58,531
If I get caught out here,
I'm gonna be signing shit
843
00:35:58,698 --> 00:36:00,367
for a month.
844
00:36:00,533 --> 00:36:02,369
Okay, you have no idea how fast
these fuckers mobilize.
845
00:36:02,535 --> 00:36:03,828
Yeah, dude,
it's great to see you, cuz,
846
00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:05,830
but I don't think anyone cares,
brother.
847
00:36:05,997 --> 00:36:07,332
I broke this fucking kid's heart
yesterday,
848
00:36:07,499 --> 00:36:08,583
because I couldn't fly.
849
00:36:08,750 --> 00:36:10,126
You can't fly?
850
00:36:10,293 --> 00:36:11,753
He wanted me to take off
right then and there.
851
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:13,630
- Seriously?
- I shit you not.
852
00:36:13,797 --> 00:36:15,131
But it's pretty cool, dude,
853
00:36:15,298 --> 00:36:17,342
you have cemented yourself
into history.
854
00:36:17,509 --> 00:36:18,885
You played fucking Superman.
855
00:36:19,052 --> 00:36:21,262
I could negotiate peace
in the Middle East
856
00:36:21,429 --> 00:36:23,682
whilst unifying Korea
into one single harmonious state
857
00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:26,226
and figure out who shot JFK.
858
00:36:26,393 --> 00:36:28,770
And guess what they'd wanna
fucking talk to me about?
859
00:36:28,937 --> 00:36:30,313
That is sort of a bummer.
860
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:33,191
I seem 'em in my dreams.
861
00:36:33,358 --> 00:36:34,734
The fan boys,
they are everywhere.
862
00:36:34,901 --> 00:36:37,278
I can't escape
even when I'm asleep.
863
00:36:37,445 --> 00:36:39,280
I'm gonna get shot one day
864
00:36:39,447 --> 00:36:40,281
and you know
what the last thing is
865
00:36:40,448 --> 00:36:41,825
that I'm gonna see?
866
00:36:41,991 --> 00:36:44,452
Um, Zod?
867
00:36:44,619 --> 00:36:45,787
It's gonna be
the disappointed face
868
00:36:45,954 --> 00:36:47,622
of some fanatic
869
00:36:47,789 --> 00:36:50,875
who is absolutely astounded
that I can't stop a bullet.
870
00:36:51,042 --> 00:36:52,877
Bullets, they fucking pierce me,
Jason.
871
00:36:53,044 --> 00:36:54,587
Fuck!
872
00:36:57,006 --> 00:36:58,883
(Dean taking deep breaths)
873
00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:00,635
So I hear
you've been busy lately.
874
00:37:00,802 --> 00:37:02,387
Yeah, dude, I just had
this sweet gig, man, that's--
875
00:37:02,554 --> 00:37:03,638
That's-- that's not
what I'm talking about.
876
00:37:03,805 --> 00:37:05,390
- Arrested.
- Oh.
877
00:37:05,557 --> 00:37:06,725
How's that working out for you?
878
00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:08,560
Really good, bro.
879
00:37:08,727 --> 00:37:10,395
I'm telling you like people
have seen me
880
00:37:10,562 --> 00:37:11,813
- in a whole different way.
- That's good, that's good.
881
00:37:11,980 --> 00:37:12,939
What have you got lined up next?
882
00:37:13,106 --> 00:37:14,733
Uh, nothing right now, but--
883
00:37:14,899 --> 00:37:17,235
Jason, you have to hit now
while the iron is hot, man.
884
00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:18,695
You need
to capitalize right now,
885
00:37:18,862 --> 00:37:20,321
get the roles
while you're benefiting
886
00:37:20,488 --> 00:37:22,073
from the extra profile.
887
00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:23,825
I'm actually trying to get this
script right now, right?
888
00:37:23,992 --> 00:37:25,869
- It's written by Brian O'--
- O'Halloran.
889
00:37:26,035 --> 00:37:26,828
- Yeah, right.
- You know it?
890
00:37:26,995 --> 00:37:28,246
Dude, everybody knows it.
891
00:37:28,413 --> 00:37:30,165
It's the talk of the town.
892
00:37:30,331 --> 00:37:32,959
They're already scheduling it
for an Oscar seasons release.
893
00:37:33,126 --> 00:37:35,420
Is-- is O'Halloran--
is he gonna hook you up?
894
00:37:35,587 --> 00:37:36,796
Well, I mean I'm hoping
that he's gonna hook me up
895
00:37:36,963 --> 00:37:38,173
with the lead.
896
00:37:38,339 --> 00:37:39,591
But wait, did you say Oscars,
bro?
897
00:37:39,758 --> 00:37:41,676
You--
898
00:37:43,428 --> 00:37:44,929
- What?
- Have you been behaving, Jason.
899
00:37:45,096 --> 00:37:46,306
Of course, I am.
900
00:37:46,473 --> 00:37:47,766
You're not back on the--
I mean, you know?
901
00:37:47,932 --> 00:37:50,268
No! No.
902
00:37:50,435 --> 00:37:51,352
Studio picture?
903
00:37:51,519 --> 00:37:53,021
You fucking kidding me?
904
00:37:53,188 --> 00:37:54,939
You think the studio
is gonna offer you the lead
905
00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:56,941
in an Oscar hopeful?
906
00:37:57,108 --> 00:37:59,861
Even if O'Halloran really goes
to bat for you,
907
00:38:00,028 --> 00:38:02,864
you still gotta get arrested
again for the extra headlines.
908
00:38:03,031 --> 00:38:03,990
Wait, what?
909
00:38:04,157 --> 00:38:05,533
Even if O'Halloran--
910
00:38:05,700 --> 00:38:06,785
No, no, no,
about the arrest thing.
911
00:38:06,951 --> 00:38:08,536
- Where do we--
- Hey!
912
00:38:08,703 --> 00:38:10,038
- Can I grab a quick picture?
- Oh, me?
913
00:38:10,205 --> 00:38:11,456
- Yeah.
- Yeah, sure, yeah.
914
00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:13,541
Hey, man, alright.
915
00:38:13,708 --> 00:38:16,586
So, almighty.
916
00:38:16,753 --> 00:38:17,962
- Nice, bro.
- Awesome.
917
00:38:18,129 --> 00:38:19,130
- Pound it, pound it.
- Yeah, bro.
918
00:38:19,297 --> 00:38:20,882
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
919
00:38:21,049 --> 00:38:21,966
Yeah.
920
00:38:23,802 --> 00:38:25,345
Be careful, Jason.
921
00:38:25,512 --> 00:38:28,681
And don't do anything stupid,
it's not worth it.
922
00:38:28,848 --> 00:38:29,724
Alright, I know, that's good.
923
00:38:29,891 --> 00:38:31,059
You're gonna get up?
924
00:38:31,226 --> 00:38:32,352
No, no, I'm good.
I'm good here.
925
00:38:32,519 --> 00:38:33,394
Okay.
926
00:38:33,561 --> 00:38:34,354
I'll see you later, bro.
927
00:38:34,521 --> 00:38:35,855
Good to see you.
928
00:38:36,022 --> 00:38:37,106
Oh, c-- co--
could you get me my coffee?
929
00:38:40,193 --> 00:38:41,361
JAY:
Here.
930
00:38:41,528 --> 00:38:42,445
Thanks.
931
00:38:45,490 --> 00:38:47,575
NEWS ANCHOR: The LAPD
is a buzz today after news
932
00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:50,870
of a witness coming forward
in the Vinnie Jones murder case.
933
00:38:51,037 --> 00:38:52,747
Information is scarce
at this point,
934
00:38:52,914 --> 00:38:56,501
but our sources believe
the witness did see the murderer
935
00:38:56,668 --> 00:38:58,628
and will be able
to identify him.
936
00:38:58,795 --> 00:39:01,631
As of yet, we have no comment
from Mr. Jones's representatives
937
00:39:01,798 --> 00:39:03,508
or indeed from Jason Mewes,
938
00:39:03,675 --> 00:39:06,511
who was arrested
on the same morning as Jones.
939
00:39:06,678 --> 00:39:09,514
Stay with us as the day gets--
940
00:39:09,681 --> 00:39:11,641
Wait a second.
941
00:39:11,808 --> 00:39:14,185
I'm hearing
that we've located Mr. Mewes
942
00:39:14,352 --> 00:39:16,563
and our reporter Oliver
is with him live.
943
00:39:16,729 --> 00:39:17,605
Oliver?
944
00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:19,023
Mr. Mewes!
945
00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:20,567
How do you feel
about recent events
946
00:39:20,733 --> 00:39:22,068
regarding the murder case
of your good friend
947
00:39:22,235 --> 00:39:23,695
and notorious ball grabber
Vinnie Jones?
948
00:39:23,862 --> 00:39:25,613
A witness has come forward
to say
949
00:39:25,780 --> 00:39:26,865
they remember seeing the driver
on the night of the murder.
950
00:39:27,031 --> 00:39:28,575
Wait, what?
951
00:39:28,741 --> 00:39:29,951
Are you now willing to admit
that your good friend
952
00:39:30,118 --> 00:39:31,369
is a killer
and never actually let go
953
00:39:31,536 --> 00:39:33,371
of his British
gangland connections?
954
00:39:33,538 --> 00:39:34,747
NEWS REPORTER 4: Is it true
Jones has been a secret gangland boss
955
00:39:34,914 --> 00:39:36,541
terrorizing Hollywood?
956
00:39:36,708 --> 00:39:38,710
Does Vinnie get his movie roles
through intimidation?
957
00:39:38,877 --> 00:39:40,169
No way, he is a very nice guy--
958
00:39:40,336 --> 00:39:41,254
What are you not telling us,
Mr. Mewes?
959
00:39:41,421 --> 00:39:42,589
Mr. Mewes!
Mr. Mewes!
960
00:39:42,755 --> 00:39:43,298
- What are you not--
- Mr. Mewes!
961
00:39:43,464 --> 00:39:44,215
Mr. Mewes!
962
00:39:44,382 --> 00:39:54,267
(♪♪♪)
963
00:40:04,444 --> 00:40:14,329
(♪♪♪)
964
00:40:25,256 --> 00:40:26,549
Police are keeping
tightly sealed
965
00:40:26,716 --> 00:40:27,842
as to the identity
of the witness
966
00:40:28,009 --> 00:40:29,385
in the Vinnie Jones murder case,
967
00:40:29,552 --> 00:40:31,763
but many are speculating
as to who it could be.
968
00:40:31,930 --> 00:40:32,931
I mean it literally
could be anyone.
969
00:40:33,097 --> 00:40:34,182
LA is a really big place.
970
00:40:34,349 --> 00:40:35,725
It's not me.
971
00:40:40,104 --> 00:40:42,231
JAY:
There he is.
972
00:40:42,398 --> 00:40:44,108
(Indistinct speech)
973
00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:46,194
Alright, I'm...
974
00:40:46,361 --> 00:40:47,320
...just gonna warn him.
975
00:40:47,487 --> 00:40:48,655
Just warn him.
976
00:40:48,821 --> 00:40:58,748
(♪♪♪)
977
00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:17,058
Bro, it's okay.
978
00:41:17,225 --> 00:41:18,226
It's just...
979
00:41:18,393 --> 00:41:19,894
Don't be startled like, uh...
980
00:41:20,061 --> 00:41:20,812
Hey, bro, it's-- it's cool.
981
00:41:20,979 --> 00:41:21,813
Look, hey!
982
00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:23,398
It's cool.
983
00:41:23,564 --> 00:41:24,357
I just wanted to know
where Stan Lee lives.
984
00:41:24,524 --> 00:41:25,942
I know he lives close.
985
00:41:26,109 --> 00:41:27,151
I just need a little help
getting to his house.
986
00:41:27,318 --> 00:41:28,152
Fuck, don't you fucking move--
987
00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:29,654
Or I'll cut you, bitch.
988
00:41:29,821 --> 00:41:31,030
What are you doing?
989
00:41:31,197 --> 00:41:32,824
When they ask you
if you saw me that night
990
00:41:32,991 --> 00:41:34,826
you're gonna say you didn't.
991
00:41:34,993 --> 00:41:36,995
I d-- I-- I didn't see you.
992
00:41:37,161 --> 00:41:38,663
Wait, what?
993
00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:39,914
No, I-- I thought I saw
that British soccer guy
994
00:41:40,081 --> 00:41:41,207
they keep putting on the news.
995
00:41:41,374 --> 00:41:42,792
It was dark I th--
996
00:41:42,959 --> 00:41:44,127
I saw...
997
00:41:47,005 --> 00:41:48,464
- JAY: Hey!
Not
998
00:41:48,631 --> 00:41:50,425
I thought you were giving me
a warning.
999
00:41:50,591 --> 00:41:52,427
- But I am.
- You're trying to kill me.
1000
00:41:52,593 --> 00:41:54,929
No, no, no,
you were trying to run away.
1001
00:41:55,096 --> 00:41:56,472
You're that silent Jay guy.
1002
00:41:56,639 --> 00:41:57,515
(Grunting)
1003
00:41:57,682 --> 00:41:58,516
Whoa!
1004
00:41:58,683 --> 00:42:00,435
(Vomiting)
1005
00:42:00,601 --> 00:42:02,854
Look, what you made me do!
1006
00:42:03,021 --> 00:42:05,023
Oh, I need 911, 911!
1007
00:42:05,189 --> 00:42:05,898
Oh, here, let me get it for you.
1008
00:42:06,065 --> 00:42:07,233
(Yelling)
1009
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:08,609
(Grunting)
1010
00:42:11,696 --> 00:42:13,489
(Grunting)
1011
00:42:13,656 --> 00:42:15,533
Oh fuck!
1012
00:42:15,700 --> 00:42:18,077
I need an amb-- ambulance.
1013
00:42:18,244 --> 00:42:19,203
- Shit, dude, alright.
- God, I'm dying.
1014
00:42:19,370 --> 00:42:20,705
Dude, that should be okay.
1015
00:42:20,872 --> 00:42:22,457
What-- what, um,
what street is this, again?
1016
00:42:22,623 --> 00:42:26,210
It's Maple Boulevard,
you fucking asshole!
1017
00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:27,336
Holy shit!
1018
00:42:27,503 --> 00:42:29,464
That was your face that night.
1019
00:42:29,630 --> 00:42:30,965
It's coming back to me.
1020
00:42:31,132 --> 00:42:32,175
I'm gonna make you fucking pay.
1021
00:42:32,341 --> 00:42:33,760
I'm gonna tell 'em what you did.
1022
00:42:33,926 --> 00:42:36,220
I'm gonna make you fucking pay,
you bastard!
1023
00:42:36,387 --> 00:42:38,347
You're looking pretty pale, bro.
1024
00:42:38,514 --> 00:42:42,060
Are you fucking kidding me?
1025
00:42:42,226 --> 00:42:43,519
No, no, don't g--
1026
00:42:43,686 --> 00:42:44,979
Don't go, don't go away, please,
come back.
1027
00:42:45,146 --> 00:42:46,397
Call an ambulance please.
1028
00:42:46,564 --> 00:42:48,274
I didn't see anything
that night, man.
1029
00:42:48,441 --> 00:42:49,358
I don't know--
I don't know your face.
1030
00:42:49,525 --> 00:42:50,777
I don't know what you look like.
1031
00:42:50,943 --> 00:42:51,903
I've never seen any
of your movies.
1032
00:42:52,070 --> 00:42:53,488
That's good.
1033
00:42:53,654 --> 00:42:57,617
I wasn't even supposed
to be here today, bro.
1034
00:42:57,784 --> 00:42:59,285
What are you doing?
1035
00:42:59,452 --> 00:43:01,329
What are you--
1036
00:43:01,496 --> 00:43:02,371
Oh!
1037
00:43:02,538 --> 00:43:03,664
No, no, no, no.
1038
00:43:03,831 --> 00:43:04,582
Pleased don't--
don't do that.
1039
00:43:04,749 --> 00:43:06,167
Don't-- don't--
1040
00:43:06,334 --> 00:43:08,252
Put that in your pocket,
go put it in your pocket.
1041
00:43:08,419 --> 00:43:10,004
Put it away, put it away!
1042
00:43:10,171 --> 00:43:11,380
Oh, oh, no.
1043
00:43:11,547 --> 00:43:12,965
THE WITNESS:
Please, don't.
1044
00:43:13,132 --> 00:43:14,634
Ow, shit!
1045
00:43:14,801 --> 00:43:16,469
Why did you do that?
1046
00:43:16,636 --> 00:43:18,638
Look, dude, I was just here
to warn you, bro.
1047
00:43:18,805 --> 00:43:21,974
It don't come natural to me,
I'm not a cold-blooded killer!
1048
00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:24,352
I'm {--
1049
00:43:24,519 --> 00:43:27,105
I feel like...
1050
00:43:27,271 --> 00:43:29,482
I'm dizzy.
1051
00:43:29,649 --> 00:43:31,943
Oh shit.
1052
00:43:32,110 --> 00:43:33,820
What am I doing?
1053
00:43:33,986 --> 00:43:35,571
I almost fucking actually killed
this motherfucker on purpose.
1054
00:43:35,738 --> 00:43:37,490
Oh God,
what the fuck am I doing?
1055
00:43:37,657 --> 00:43:39,117
What the fuck!
1056
00:43:39,283 --> 00:43:40,118
Wait a second.
1057
00:43:40,284 --> 00:43:42,120
Wait.
1058
00:43:42,286 --> 00:43:45,373
Vinnie's in jail.
1059
00:43:45,540 --> 00:43:47,083
They're gonna know
it wasn't him.
1060
00:43:47,250 --> 00:43:57,093
(♪♪♪)
1061
00:44:04,892 --> 00:44:08,229
JAY:
(Indistinct whispering)
1062
00:44:10,648 --> 00:44:13,401
Okay, that's right.
1063
00:44:13,568 --> 00:44:14,652
(Yelling)
1064
00:44:14,819 --> 00:44:16,028
JAY: Shit! Holy fuck!
1065
00:44:16,195 --> 00:44:17,238
(Grunting)
1066
00:44:17,405 --> 00:44:18,239
JAY:
Holy fuck!
1067
00:44:18,406 --> 00:44:19,657
Holy fuck!
1068
00:44:19,824 --> 00:44:21,033
(Man grunting)
1069
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:23,161
Holy sh--
1070
00:44:23,327 --> 00:44:25,329
Holy shit.
1071
00:44:25,496 --> 00:44:26,747
Breathe out, man.
1072
00:44:26,914 --> 00:44:29,167
(Taking deep breaths)
1073
00:44:29,333 --> 00:44:41,596
(♪♪♪)
1074
00:44:41,762 --> 00:44:44,432
(Door buzzing)
1075
00:44:47,518 --> 00:44:48,811
JAY:
Oh, come, man.
1076
00:44:50,938 --> 00:44:52,857
Oof!
1077
00:44:53,024 --> 00:44:54,233
- Excuse me?
- Whoa!
1078
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:55,902
- (Screaming)
- Dude.
1079
00:44:56,068 --> 00:44:57,361
GEORGE: What the fuck
is wrong with you, man?
1080
00:44:57,528 --> 00:44:58,738
Well, what's wrong with you,
bro?
1081
00:44:58,905 --> 00:45:00,364
What the fuck is wrong with you,
bro?
1082
00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:01,699
JAY:
Who-- who are you?
1083
00:45:01,866 --> 00:45:03,367
I have fucking nerve issues,
man.
1084
00:45:03,534 --> 00:45:05,203
You can't just randomly scream
in people's faces.
1085
00:45:05,369 --> 00:45:06,662
You don't know me,
you could've killed me, man.
1086
00:45:06,829 --> 00:45:08,164
So you're a security officer.
1087
00:45:08,331 --> 00:45:10,208
I'm the fucking
security officer.
1088
00:45:10,374 --> 00:45:13,252
George Abrahams,
security officer.
1089
00:45:13,419 --> 00:45:15,546
A security officer
with nerve issues.
1090
00:45:15,713 --> 00:45:16,923
Dude, I'm-- I'm a fucking--
1091
00:45:17,089 --> 00:45:18,633
I'm a security guard machine,
Sir.
1092
00:45:18,799 --> 00:45:21,385
I'm like a 365° radar, man.
1093
00:45:21,552 --> 00:45:22,762
I see all the angles, dog.
1094
00:45:22,929 --> 00:45:23,888
You can't get past me.
1095
00:45:24,055 --> 00:45:25,306
Well, I apologize for that,
1096
00:45:25,473 --> 00:45:27,391
because I do need
to see Ferrango, man.
1097
00:45:27,558 --> 00:45:28,768
Can't do it.
1098
00:45:28,935 --> 00:45:30,061
I have to warn him.
1099
00:45:30,228 --> 00:45:31,854
What do you have
to warn him about?
1100
00:45:32,021 --> 00:45:34,649
There's a-- a Latina girl,
and a couple of her friends,
1101
00:45:34,815 --> 00:45:36,442
and I passed them
when I was coming here.
1102
00:45:36,609 --> 00:45:38,236
Fuck,
they're dangerous in a group.
1103
00:45:38,402 --> 00:45:39,403
- JAY: Yeah.
- Shit.
1104
00:45:39,570 --> 00:45:40,780
Which direction?
1105
00:45:40,947 --> 00:45:43,783
Uh, that way,
about three blocks.
1106
00:45:45,868 --> 00:45:48,412
- GEORGE: Thanks, dude.
- Cool.
1107
00:45:48,579 --> 00:45:57,922
(♪♪♪)
1108
00:45:58,089 --> 00:45:59,799
I got your knight.
1109
00:45:59,966 --> 00:46:01,384
You know what that means.
1110
00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:09,517
Ay este pendejo!
1111
00:46:09,684 --> 00:46:11,394
You've been reading it too fast.
1112
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:12,979
I can tell just by looking
at you.
1113
00:46:13,145 --> 00:46:14,563
What page are you on?
1114
00:46:14,730 --> 00:46:15,940
I-- I don't know,
like 200.
1115
00:46:16,107 --> 00:46:17,984
C--
1116
00:46:24,907 --> 00:46:32,331
(♪♪♪)
1117
00:46:32,498 --> 00:46:34,375
Hey, hey, snap out of it.
1118
00:46:34,542 --> 00:46:36,585
What did I tell about keeping
those feelings in check?
1119
00:46:37,962 --> 00:46:39,630
Just-- just go home.
Go home.
1120
00:46:39,797 --> 00:46:41,215
Sleep it off.
1121
00:46:41,382 --> 00:46:42,758
Forget about the book
for a couple of weeks.
1122
00:46:42,925 --> 00:46:44,552
It's working a little bit.
1123
00:46:44,719 --> 00:46:46,637
- It's sort of work--
- I am so sorry, Mr. Villa real.
1124
00:46:46,804 --> 00:46:48,014
He-- he snucked past me.
1125
00:46:48,180 --> 00:46:50,057
You Brutus
motherfucking Spoodle.
1126
00:46:50,224 --> 00:46:51,475
FERNANDO:
It's okay, it's okay.
1127
00:46:51,642 --> 00:46:52,768
Mewes! Mewes!
1128
00:46:52,935 --> 00:46:54,854
You have to relax, man.
1129
00:46:55,021 --> 00:46:56,772
Process everything
that's going on
1130
00:46:56,939 --> 00:46:59,066
before you go loco.
1131
00:47:04,822 --> 00:47:14,707
(♪♪♪)
1132
00:47:37,355 --> 00:47:40,149
(Music playing on radio)
1133
00:47:45,946 --> 00:47:47,448
(Grunts)
1134
00:47:47,615 --> 00:47:57,625
(♪♪♪)
1135
00:47:58,834 --> 00:47:59,877
(Stan sighs)
1136
00:48:00,044 --> 00:48:01,545
Damn Hollywood.
1137
00:48:01,712 --> 00:48:04,131
All these actors are turning it
into a war zone.
1138
00:48:04,298 --> 00:48:06,133
But these guys
covered their tracks.
1139
00:48:06,300 --> 00:48:08,010
Definitely some madness
in their method.
1140
00:48:08,177 --> 00:48:11,222
It's method in the madness,
you idiot.
1141
00:48:11,389 --> 00:48:13,099
Fair enough.
1142
00:48:13,265 --> 00:48:16,102
You do know that Jason Mewes
is linked to this case, right?
1143
00:48:16,268 --> 00:48:17,603
He is?
1144
00:48:17,770 --> 00:48:20,147
He was arrested the same day
as Vinnie Jones.
1145
00:48:20,314 --> 00:48:22,233
But don't you know Jason Mewes?
1146
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:23,818
Jason Mewes?
1147
00:48:23,984 --> 00:48:25,820
That smoochie boochie guy?
1148
00:48:25,986 --> 00:48:28,072
Yes, the Snoochie boochie guy.
Yeah, that guy.
1149
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:31,659
I never met him, but, boy,
I heard he's a knucklehead.
1150
00:48:31,826 --> 00:48:33,202
Well, we all can't be saints.
1151
00:48:33,369 --> 00:48:34,912
(Sighs)
1152
00:48:35,079 --> 00:48:36,580
Oh crap,
here comes the detective.
1153
00:48:36,747 --> 00:48:38,707
Look, I uh, I got nothing good
to tell him here.
1154
00:48:38,874 --> 00:48:39,708
You might wanna--
(Clicking tongue)
1155
00:48:39,875 --> 00:48:40,876
Enough said.
1156
00:48:41,043 --> 00:48:42,044
I'm out of here.
1157
00:48:42,211 --> 00:48:43,838
Upward and onward, Jim.
1158
00:48:44,004 --> 00:48:44,922
DETECTIVE JIM: Yeah,
yeah, yeah, onward and upward.
1159
00:48:45,089 --> 00:48:46,632
Wayne!
1160
00:48:46,799 --> 00:48:48,342
Wayne.
1161
00:48:48,509 --> 00:48:49,593
Good--
1162
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:51,011
(Grunts)
1163
00:48:51,178 --> 00:48:52,221
DETECTIVE JIM:
Good to see you, sir.
1164
00:48:52,388 --> 00:48:53,180
DETECTIVE ARNOLD:
Who's that?
1165
00:48:53,347 --> 00:48:54,390
Oh, this is Stan Lee.
1166
00:48:54,557 --> 00:48:55,891
- He's the neighbor.
- Legend.
1167
00:48:56,058 --> 00:48:57,143
DETECTIVE JIM: Yeah. Yes, he is.
1168
00:48:57,309 --> 00:48:58,644
Shut up,
give me some good news.
1169
00:48:58,811 --> 00:49:00,020
I got nothing.
1170
00:49:00,187 --> 00:49:01,272
This guy was either
a professional
1171
00:49:01,439 --> 00:49:02,898
or he was
one lucky son of a bitch.
1172
00:49:03,065 --> 00:49:04,442
You have the murder weapon?
1173
00:49:04,608 --> 00:49:05,818
My guys are
searching the area right now,
1174
00:49:05,985 --> 00:49:07,403
but I'll be honest with you,
Wayne,
1175
00:49:07,570 --> 00:49:09,363
I don't think we're gonna have
positive results.
1176
00:49:09,530 --> 00:49:11,782
If this was gangland,
they're not sloppy.
1177
00:49:11,949 --> 00:49:13,117
We're not gonna find shit.
1178
00:49:13,284 --> 00:49:14,660
Go.
1179
00:49:14,827 --> 00:49:16,620
Fucking idiot.
1180
00:49:16,787 --> 00:49:17,830
(Sighs)
1181
00:49:18,956 --> 00:49:20,666
You motherfucker!
1182
00:49:23,878 --> 00:49:25,087
Something's definitely
not right.
1183
00:49:26,422 --> 00:49:28,382
- Jason.
- What?
1184
00:49:28,549 --> 00:49:29,758
NEWS ANCHOR: ...the most recent
incident in the Jones murder case.
1185
00:49:29,925 --> 00:49:31,427
Over to Oliver
for all the latest.
1186
00:49:31,594 --> 00:49:33,095
We now have confirmation
that the body of the victim
1187
00:49:33,262 --> 00:49:34,889
is principal witness
in the Vinnie Jones murder case.
1188
00:49:35,055 --> 00:49:37,141
LAPD sources are also telling us
the body of the victim
1189
00:49:37,308 --> 00:49:39,977
was found with a symbol carved
into its chest.
1190
00:49:40,144 --> 00:49:41,353
Rumor has it that this symbol
1191
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,105
is a British gangland
murder tag,
1192
00:49:43,272 --> 00:49:44,857
indicating an execution.
1193
00:49:45,024 --> 00:49:46,400
As you can see
from the police photos,
1194
00:49:46,567 --> 00:49:48,360
Mr. Jones does have
a gangland scar
1195
00:49:48,527 --> 00:49:49,862
on his chest.
1196
00:49:50,029 --> 00:49:51,197
Whether this links him
to the murder
1197
00:49:51,363 --> 00:49:54,116
only time will tell.
1198
00:49:54,283 --> 00:49:55,993
Do you really think that
Vinnie had something to do
1199
00:49:56,160 --> 00:49:57,912
- with these murders?
- You know what?
1200
00:49:58,078 --> 00:50:00,122
I'm sort of distracting myself
from it all.
1201
00:50:00,289 --> 00:50:01,665
Huh.
1202
00:50:01,832 --> 00:50:02,958
You know, do whatever makes you
feel good.
1203
00:50:03,125 --> 00:50:04,293
JAY:
Hmm.
1204
00:50:04,460 --> 00:50:06,003
And then maybe
while you're at it
1205
00:50:06,170 --> 00:50:08,797
you could fix the roof
like you've been promising.
1206
00:50:08,964 --> 00:50:11,467
Oh, I have to buy a nail gun,
SO...
1207
00:50:11,634 --> 00:50:14,762
If you go now, you can be back
before the party.
1208
00:50:14,929 --> 00:50:16,847
- Party?
- You forgot about the party.
1209
00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:18,265
You know that Kevin
doesn't wanna go
1210
00:50:18,432 --> 00:50:19,850
to Esteban's by himself.
1211
00:50:20,017 --> 00:50:20,893
(Sighs)
1212
00:50:23,646 --> 00:50:25,856
Snoochie boochies.
1213
00:50:26,023 --> 00:50:27,024
Snoochie boochies.
1214
00:50:32,112 --> 00:50:34,448
JAY:
I am the clit commander.
1215
00:50:37,451 --> 00:50:39,370
Jason Mewes
continues his unlikely rise
1216
00:50:39,537 --> 00:50:40,996
up the Movie Star Rating charts
1217
00:50:41,163 --> 00:50:43,040
as he finds himself back
in the headlines
1218
00:50:43,207 --> 00:50:45,543
after the Vinnie Jones witness
was found murdered overnight.
1219
00:50:45,709 --> 00:50:47,127
Yes.
1220
00:50:47,294 --> 00:50:49,004
(Takes a deep breath)
1221
00:50:49,171 --> 00:50:51,173
BRIAN: I'm not even
supposed to be here right now.
1222
00:50:53,551 --> 00:50:55,511
Brian O'Halloran has confirmed
shooting on The Odyssey
1223
00:50:55,678 --> 00:50:57,388
is set to begin
at the start of next month,
1224
00:50:57,555 --> 00:50:59,932
which means a cast announcement
must be imminent
1225
00:51:00,099 --> 00:51:01,892
as it seems half of Hollywood
wants in
1226
00:51:02,059 --> 00:51:03,978
on the likely Oscar contender.
1227
00:51:04,144 --> 00:51:06,146
I'm closing in on you,
motherfucker.
1228
00:51:06,313 --> 00:51:08,899
Carrie,
I'm going out to buy a nail gun.
1229
00:51:09,066 --> 00:51:19,159
(♪♪♪)
1230
00:51:19,326 --> 00:51:22,162
(Phone rings)
1231
00:51:22,329 --> 00:51:24,290
POLICE CHIEF ANDERSON:
Chief Anderson.
1232
00:51:24,456 --> 00:51:25,874
DETECTIVE ARNOLD: (On the phone)
Chief, detective Arnold here.
1233
00:51:26,041 --> 00:51:28,335
POLICE CHIEF ANDERSON:
What is it, detective?
1234
00:51:28,502 --> 00:51:29,837
DETECTIVE ARNOLD: (On the phone)
I wanna bring Jason Mewes back in.
1235
00:51:30,004 --> 00:51:30,838
You already questioned Mewes
and got nothing.
1236
00:51:31,005 --> 00:51:32,631
You repeat that process
1237
00:51:32,798 --> 00:51:34,967
and what does this department
look like to the press?
1238
00:51:35,134 --> 00:51:37,303
DETECTIVE ARNOLD: (On the
phone) Oh, come on, he's gonna talk.
1239
00:51:37,469 --> 00:51:38,262
- I just need him to--
- Drop it, detective.
1240
00:51:38,429 --> 00:51:40,723
Do you understand me?
1241
00:51:40,889 --> 00:51:41,599
DETECTIVE ARNOLD: (On the
phone) Alright, chief, whatever you say.
1242
00:51:41,765 --> 00:51:41,807
Sure.
1243
00:51:42,516 --> 00:51:42,975
(Sighs)
1244
00:51:52,401 --> 00:51:53,485
POLICE CHIEF ANDERSON:
Hey, babe.
1245
00:51:55,529 --> 00:51:58,532
Yes, of course,
I'll be home about 8:00
1246
00:51:58,699 --> 00:52:01,243
and I have the new handcuffs.
1247
00:52:06,540 --> 00:52:08,542
(Grunting)
1248
00:52:08,709 --> 00:52:11,462
(Sniffling
and taking deep breaths)
1249
00:52:11,629 --> 00:52:18,385
(♪♪♪)
1250
00:52:18,552 --> 00:52:20,137
Something just isn't right.
1251
00:52:20,304 --> 00:52:21,805
(Takes a deep breath)
1252
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:27,102
Producers are raving
about the daily footage coming
1253
00:52:27,269 --> 00:52:29,563
from the Acupuncture Killer set,
explaining Jason Mewes
1254
00:52:29,730 --> 00:52:31,148
is doing incredible work
1255
00:52:31,315 --> 00:52:32,775
and getting arrested
was the best thing
1256
00:52:32,941 --> 00:52:34,610
that could have happened
to his career.
1257
00:52:34,777 --> 00:52:37,613
Otherwise, they never would have
thought of him for the role.
1258
00:52:40,366 --> 00:52:41,700
Tommy, could you tell me
1259
00:52:41,867 --> 00:52:43,702
where that Costalino guy worked,
again?
1260
00:52:43,869 --> 00:52:53,754
(♪♪♪)
1261
00:53:03,972 --> 00:53:06,350
Wait, what?
What the fuck did I just see?
1262
00:53:06,517 --> 00:53:08,143
- Excuse me?
- Answer the question.
1263
00:53:08,310 --> 00:53:09,353
I'm not your eyeballs, Jason.
1264
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:10,354
What were you just doing?
1265
00:53:10,521 --> 00:53:11,980
Skyping a girlfriend.
1266
00:53:12,147 --> 00:53:13,732
- What girlfriend is that?
- Megan from Europe.
1267
00:53:13,899 --> 00:53:16,193
Megan in Europe wanted
to see your titties?
1268
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:17,653
What are you talking about?
1269
00:53:17,820 --> 00:53:19,363
When I walked through the door,
1270
00:53:19,530 --> 00:53:21,198
you were flashing your titties
to the camera.
1271
00:53:21,365 --> 00:53:23,200
You've been acting
fucking crazy.
1272
00:53:23,367 --> 00:53:24,868
Is this what I'm gonna
have to deal
1273
00:53:25,035 --> 00:53:26,370
with every single time you're up
for some Hollywood role?
1274
00:53:26,537 --> 00:53:29,665
I need the old Jay back.
1275
00:53:29,832 --> 00:53:30,874
Silent Bob, too?
1276
00:53:31,041 --> 00:53:32,543
Fuck you!
1277
00:53:32,710 --> 00:53:34,169
I want the man
I fell in love with.
1278
00:53:34,336 --> 00:53:35,212
That's weird, 'cause you've been
a little distant
1279
00:53:35,379 --> 00:53:36,797
from him lately.
1280
00:53:36,964 --> 00:53:39,174
Jason, you're being
fucking paranoid, okay?
1281
00:53:39,341 --> 00:53:40,926
It's me.
1282
00:53:41,093 --> 00:53:43,220
You would love for me
to believe that, wouldn't you?
1283
00:53:45,055 --> 00:53:45,973
Where are you going?
1284
00:53:46,140 --> 00:53:47,891
Getting ready for the party.
1285
00:53:48,058 --> 00:53:57,943
(♪♪♪)
1286
00:54:19,089 --> 00:54:20,507
Hello, hello!
1287
00:54:20,674 --> 00:54:22,760
(Laughing)
Jason Mewes.
1288
00:54:22,926 --> 00:54:24,470
Danny Trejo, I didn't know
you'd be here
1289
00:54:24,636 --> 00:54:25,512
and what-- what's the--
1290
00:54:25,679 --> 00:54:26,889
(Laughing)
1291
00:54:27,055 --> 00:54:28,348
I'm method acting
for a new role now,
1292
00:54:28,515 --> 00:54:29,600
just run with it cabron,
alright?
1293
00:54:29,767 --> 00:54:31,310
Yeah, but, I don't--
1294
00:54:31,477 --> 00:54:33,604
I thought you'd be here
with your little Carrie.
1295
00:54:33,771 --> 00:54:35,814
She took her separate car,
she's gonna meet me here, but--
1296
00:54:35,981 --> 00:54:38,609
That better not be trouble
in paradise, I'm sensing, is it?
1297
00:54:38,776 --> 00:54:40,569
No, no, everything's good,
I promise.
1298
00:54:40,736 --> 00:54:42,446
Are you sure? 'Cause you know
you can talk to me.
1299
00:54:42,613 --> 00:54:44,615
I know, but I do not get like--
are you su--
1300
00:54:44,782 --> 00:54:47,493
Look, I've been wanting to have
a little chitty chatty poo
1301
00:54:47,659 --> 00:54:48,452
- with you.
- A little--
1302
00:54:48,619 --> 00:54:49,578
A little chitty chat?
1303
00:54:49,745 --> 00:54:50,871
Let's do it.
What's up?
1304
00:54:51,038 --> 00:54:52,414
DANNY:
Well, I've been hearing
1305
00:54:52,581 --> 00:54:54,291
about you having trouble
with the ball grabber.
1306
00:54:54,458 --> 00:54:55,626
The ball grabber?
1307
00:54:55,793 --> 00:54:57,044
DANNY:
That's what they call him.
1308
00:54:57,211 --> 00:54:58,545
And you know,
I worry about you, Jason.
1309
00:54:58,712 --> 00:55:00,964
- You know that.
- JAY: I know.
1310
00:55:01,131 --> 00:55:02,466
If that motherfucker fucks
with you,
1311
00:55:02,633 --> 00:55:04,551
I'll cut his fucking heart out.
1312
00:55:04,718 --> 00:55:06,094
Shit, Dan--
I mean I appreciate that.
1313
00:55:06,261 --> 00:55:07,304
Thank you.
1314
00:55:07,471 --> 00:55:08,639
You know
what they call me?
1315
00:55:08,806 --> 00:55:09,890
- Machete, right?
- (Laughing)
1316
00:55:10,057 --> 00:55:11,391
You know why?
1317
00:55:11,558 --> 00:55:13,435
Uh, because of the movie.
1318
00:55:13,602 --> 00:55:15,312
Because I got a big
motherfucking machete,
1319
00:55:15,479 --> 00:55:16,313
that's why.
1320
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:18,607
A big machete.
1321
00:55:18,774 --> 00:55:20,609
Harley Quinn Smith!
1322
00:55:20,776 --> 00:55:22,528
Oh, as I live and breathe.
1323
00:55:22,694 --> 00:55:24,947
- HARLEY: Danny.
- Oh, be still my heart.
1324
00:55:25,113 --> 00:55:26,573
Danny,
I didn't expect to see you here.
1325
00:55:26,740 --> 00:55:28,659
Why does everybody
keep saying that?
1326
00:55:28,826 --> 00:55:30,452
Can't a little girl
have some fun?
1327
00:55:30,619 --> 00:55:32,329
Dude, you're here
to pick Kevin up?
1328
00:55:32,496 --> 00:55:34,706
Yeah, I think he's enjoying
my new license more than I am.
1329
00:55:34,873 --> 00:55:36,124
Harley, oh my God!
1330
00:55:36,291 --> 00:55:37,543
- (Chuckling)
- Hi.
1331
00:55:37,709 --> 00:55:39,127
- Can we take a selfie?
- Of course.
1332
00:55:39,294 --> 00:55:40,838
Alright, I'm gonna go ahead,
alright, Harley.
1333
00:55:41,004 --> 00:55:42,005
- Bye.
- Uh, will you tell dad
1334
00:55:42,172 --> 00:55:43,841
that I'm waiting.
1335
00:55:44,007 --> 00:55:45,384
I'm too scared to go and I feel
like I'll never escape.
1336
00:55:45,551 --> 00:55:46,927
No problem, no problem.
1337
00:55:47,094 --> 00:55:48,762
Remember, it's not gay
as long as the balls
1338
00:55:48,929 --> 00:55:50,138
don't touch the chin.
1339
00:55:54,017 --> 00:55:55,143
Oh nice!
That's gonna be a keeper.
1340
00:55:55,310 --> 00:55:56,645
Pleasure.
Nice meeting you, man.
1341
00:55:56,812 --> 00:55:58,063
Sir !
1342
00:55:58,230 --> 00:55:59,189
Where the fuck have you been,
dude?
1343
00:55:59,356 --> 00:56:00,774
Where the fuck have you been?
1344
00:56:00,941 --> 00:56:01,900
Wait,
what are you talking about?
1345
00:56:02,067 --> 00:56:03,610
Don't fucking act like that.
1346
00:56:03,777 --> 00:56:05,445
Like you don't think I was gonna
fucking find out, man.
1347
00:56:05,612 --> 00:56:07,531
Motherfucker,
that shit is written
1348
00:56:07,698 --> 00:56:09,449
all over your face,
the goddamn guilt.
1349
00:56:09,616 --> 00:56:12,452
You didn't think I'd know.
1350
00:56:12,619 --> 00:56:14,121
What are you talking about?
1351
00:56:14,288 --> 00:56:15,581
I'm talking about you up
in that house sucking dick,
1352
00:56:15,747 --> 00:56:16,957
"cause I can see the cum
right there.
1353
00:56:17,124 --> 00:56:19,543
- None!
- Oh, shit!
1354
00:56:19,710 --> 00:56:20,919
Hey, you remember
when we jerked each other off
1355
00:56:21,086 --> 00:56:21,962
in the pool?
1356
00:56:22,129 --> 00:56:23,130
That's a great memory.
1357
00:56:23,297 --> 00:56:24,715
- Did you get that book?
- I did.
1358
00:56:24,882 --> 00:56:27,092
I read the book, dude,
and it is taking my craft
1359
00:56:27,259 --> 00:56:28,260
on a whole another level.
1360
00:56:28,427 --> 00:56:29,761
It's awesome.
Thank you.
1361
00:56:29,928 --> 00:56:30,721
Right on, man.
Fuck, you know what, dude?
1362
00:56:30,888 --> 00:56:32,097
Fuck all that holy shit.
1363
00:56:32,264 --> 00:56:34,099
I was just thinking,
Vinnie Jones.
1364
00:56:34,266 --> 00:56:35,726
What the fuck, man?
1365
00:56:35,893 --> 00:56:36,977
Don't shit in the pool.
1366
00:56:37,144 --> 00:56:38,353
(Chuckling)
1367
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:39,438
Maybe he did have something
to do
1368
00:56:39,605 --> 00:56:40,397
with that casting director.
1369
00:56:40,564 --> 00:56:41,815
You know what I'm saying?
1370
00:56:41,982 --> 00:56:43,525
I'm serious,
don't shit in the pool.
1371
00:56:43,692 --> 00:56:44,568
Brian O'Halloran here?
Do you know if he showed up?
1372
00:56:44,735 --> 00:56:46,069
Are you serious?
1373
00:56:46,236 --> 00:56:47,112
I'm talking
about fucking Vinnie Jones,
1374
00:56:47,279 --> 00:56:48,488
you're talking about Bri--
1375
00:56:48,655 --> 00:56:49,573
Yeah, Brian O'Halloran
is fucking here,
1376
00:56:49,740 --> 00:56:50,365
I passed him on the way in.
1377
00:56:50,532 --> 00:56:50,949
Captain clitoris.
1378
00:56:51,116 --> 00:56:52,284
Oh!
1379
00:56:52,451 --> 00:56:53,911
I'm gonna go talk to him
about that--
1380
00:56:54,077 --> 00:56:56,121
Wait, Harley Quinn came here
to pick you up.
1381
00:56:56,288 --> 00:56:57,122
She's out front.
Sorry--
1382
00:56:57,289 --> 00:56:58,206
My fucking kid's here.
1383
00:56:58,373 --> 00:56:59,666
Why are we sitting here talking?
1384
00:56:59,833 --> 00:57:01,126
Let's get the fuck out of here,
bitch.
1385
00:57:01,293 --> 00:57:02,920
Jay and Silent Bob,
it's been a while.
1386
00:57:03,086 --> 00:57:04,379
- Hey!
- Hey!
1387
00:57:04,546 --> 00:57:05,923
Thank you so much
for coming to my party.
1388
00:57:06,089 --> 00:57:07,841
Our party.
1389
00:57:08,008 --> 00:57:09,843
KEVIN: Oh my God,
I had a fucking blast.
1390
00:57:10,010 --> 00:57:11,511
We've just been sitting
here talking,
1391
00:57:11,678 --> 00:57:13,221
he was upstairs having
misadventures in the house
1392
00:57:13,388 --> 00:57:14,264
and shit.
1393
00:57:14,431 --> 00:57:16,183
But I'm gonna go.
1394
00:57:16,350 --> 00:57:19,227
I got a-- a podcast to record
and I gotta light out of here.
1395
00:57:19,394 --> 00:57:20,270
I got like nine podcasts.
1396
00:57:20,437 --> 00:57:21,271
So I've loved being here.
1397
00:57:21,438 --> 00:57:22,731
Thanks for having us.
1398
00:57:22,898 --> 00:57:24,733
But-- but we're
just getting started.
1399
00:57:24,900 --> 00:57:26,568
KEVIN: Sadly, I got my kid
sweating in the car like a dog
1400
00:57:26,735 --> 00:57:28,695
and I should probably go before
she overheats and dies.
1401
00:57:28,862 --> 00:57:29,905
- Pleasure!
- Thank you.
1402
00:57:30,072 --> 00:57:33,241
- Pleasure.
- Uh.
1403
00:57:33,408 --> 00:57:35,786
Sorry to hear
about the break-up, fellows.
1404
00:57:35,953 --> 00:57:37,204
Conscious uncoupling.
1405
00:57:37,371 --> 00:57:38,705
Jason, what are you doing
next Tuesday?
1406
00:57:38,872 --> 00:57:41,208
Jason is more my friend
than he is yours.
1407
00:57:41,375 --> 00:57:42,668
You already got too clingy
with Brian
1408
00:57:42,834 --> 00:57:44,628
and now he's leaving.
Kevin just left.
1409
00:57:44,795 --> 00:57:45,796
At this rate,
we're not gonna have
1410
00:57:45,963 --> 00:57:47,255
any famous people at our party!
1411
00:57:47,422 --> 00:57:49,758
Brian's leaving,
I gotta catch up with him.
1412
00:57:49,925 --> 00:57:51,134
Look what you did?
1413
00:57:51,301 --> 00:57:52,719
My famous friends
mean the world to me
1414
00:57:52,886 --> 00:57:55,806
and you-- you give
the world's worst blowjob.
1415
00:57:55,973 --> 00:57:57,140
ESTEBAN:
Mm hmm.
1416
00:57:57,307 --> 00:57:57,975
That's not
what your father said.
1417
00:57:58,141 --> 00:57:59,810
(Gasps)
1418
00:57:59,977 --> 00:58:01,269
BRIAN'S DATE: Not even
supposed to be here today.
1419
00:58:01,436 --> 00:58:02,771
BRIAN:
No, no, no, no, it's more like,
1420
00:58:02,938 --> 00:58:05,148
"I'm not even supposed
to be here today."
1421
00:58:05,315 --> 00:58:08,944
See the emphasis is stronger
at the start.
1422
00:58:09,111 --> 00:58:10,821
I'm not even supposed
to be here today.
1423
00:58:10,988 --> 00:58:11,822
There you go.
1424
00:58:11,989 --> 00:58:13,323
Much better.
1425
00:58:13,490 --> 00:58:16,451
You know, I keep all my emotions
like right here,
1426
00:58:16,618 --> 00:58:18,829
- on the surface.
- Hmm.
1427
00:58:18,996 --> 00:58:21,248
Stored and ready for action.
1428
00:58:21,415 --> 00:58:22,791
Hmm.
1429
00:58:22,958 --> 00:58:24,751
{Chuckling together)
1430
00:58:24,918 --> 00:58:29,131
It allows me to access
whatever my director needs.
1431
00:58:29,297 --> 00:58:30,757
Totally amazing.
1432
00:58:30,924 --> 00:58:34,886
For example um, pleasure.
1433
00:58:38,890 --> 00:58:42,102
Oh yeah, I like pleasure.
1434
00:58:42,269 --> 00:58:44,146
That makes two of us.
1435
00:58:47,315 --> 00:58:49,484
JAY:
Brian, hey, what's up, baby?
1436
00:58:49,651 --> 00:58:50,569
- Oh, hey.
- How you doing?
1437
00:58:50,736 --> 00:58:52,029
Jay, man,
how you doing?
1438
00:58:52,195 --> 00:58:52,904
JAY: I'm good, man. How are you?
1439
00:58:53,071 --> 00:58:54,281
It's been a while.
1440
00:58:54,448 --> 00:58:55,240
Uh, how is everything
since the arrest
1441
00:58:55,407 --> 00:58:56,658
and all that?
1442
00:58:56,825 --> 00:58:58,201
JAY:
Oh, yes, actually not that bad.
1443
00:58:58,368 --> 00:58:59,661
I've gotten some really
interesting roles,
1444
00:58:59,828 --> 00:59:01,329
because of the press
and the publicity.
1445
00:59:01,496 --> 00:59:02,998
It's made it like whoa--
1446
00:59:03,165 --> 00:59:04,541
Oh, dude, dude,
be careful with that press, yo.
1447
00:59:04,708 --> 00:59:06,126
You know how it can turn
on you, you know that.
1448
00:59:06,293 --> 00:59:07,419
Oh yeah, but-- hey,
has Kevin spoken to you
1449
00:59:07,586 --> 00:59:09,087
about The Odyssey ?
1450
00:59:09,254 --> 00:59:10,881
You know, I'm confident we could
slide you in there.
1451
00:59:11,048 --> 00:59:12,466
Just give me a chance to talk
to the-- to the studio.
1452
00:59:12,632 --> 00:59:13,550
You're serious?
1453
00:59:13,717 --> 00:59:14,551
Dude, how long have I known you?
1454
00:59:14,718 --> 00:59:15,927
Of course, I'm serious.
1455
00:59:16,094 --> 00:59:17,179
Don't worry, Jay,
I got your back.
1456
00:59:17,345 --> 00:59:18,930
It's so crazy, dude.
1457
00:59:19,097 --> 00:59:20,390
People were saying,
"Even if you can convince Brian
1458
00:59:20,557 --> 00:59:22,476
that you can carry
this studio movie,
1459
00:59:22,642 --> 00:59:24,311
he's never gonna
convince the studio
1460
00:59:24,478 --> 00:59:26,229
- to let you play the lead."
- Whoa, whoa, I-- I'm sorry.
1461
00:59:26,396 --> 00:59:27,272
Dude, you remember we were
talking about it on Dogma
1462
00:59:27,439 --> 00:59:28,482
SO many years ago?
1463
00:59:28,648 --> 00:59:30,442
I knew then I was like perfect--
1464
00:59:30,609 --> 00:59:31,985
- BRIAN: Shit, Jay, Jay.
- For the part, dude.
1465
00:59:32,152 --> 00:59:34,488
Shit, Jay, um, I-- I--
I didn't know that you--
1466
00:59:34,654 --> 00:59:35,989
Were you thinking
I was talking about the lead?
1467
00:59:36,156 --> 00:59:37,365
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marcus, sorry dude.
1468
00:59:37,532 --> 00:59:38,617
The-- the--
remember the similarities
1469
00:59:38,784 --> 00:59:39,951
to me and him--
1470
00:59:40,118 --> 00:59:41,328
And how much we are alike.
1471
00:59:41,495 --> 00:59:42,287
- Shit, bro, I--
- I am--
1472
00:59:42,454 --> 00:59:43,663
(Chuckles)
1473
00:59:43,830 --> 00:59:45,123
I was thinking more
of a few lines
1474
00:59:45,290 --> 00:59:46,875
li-- like--
like a cameo or something.
1475
00:59:47,042 --> 00:59:48,543
What?
You don't think I'm capable?
1476
00:59:48,710 --> 00:59:49,461
- I'm capable, bro, like--
- No, no, no, no, no.
1477
00:59:49,628 --> 00:59:51,171
Listen, um, I gotta run.
1478
00:59:51,338 --> 00:59:53,548
Uh, what I'll do is
I'll call the studio
1479
00:59:53,715 --> 00:59:55,926
and I'll persuade them
to bring you in
1480
00:59:56,093 --> 00:59:57,427
for an audition or something.
1481
00:59:57,594 --> 00:59:58,678
- Yeah, an audition.
- BRIAN: Yeah, yeah?
1482
00:59:58,845 --> 01:00:00,222
Sure, yeah, yeah,
sounds great.
1483
01:00:00,388 --> 01:00:01,640
BRIAN: Alright, I'll
talk to you again.
1484
01:00:01,807 --> 01:00:02,516
- Thanks.
- We'll be in touch, alright?
1485
01:00:02,682 --> 01:00:03,350
Yeah, thanks, man.
1486
01:00:03,517 --> 01:00:11,983
(♪♪♪)
1487
01:00:12,150 --> 01:00:15,028
(Indistinct chatter)
1488
01:00:16,655 --> 01:00:18,198
Oh, if you'll excuse me,
'll be right back.
1489
01:00:24,496 --> 01:00:25,413
Uh, Jason.
1490
01:00:25,580 --> 01:00:26,957
I'm so sorry about Tim.
1491
01:00:27,124 --> 01:00:29,167
Frankly, I'm embarrassed.
1492
01:00:29,334 --> 01:00:30,710
Oh, we should take a selfie
while you're here.
1493
01:00:30,877 --> 01:00:32,254
You could tweet it to me.
1494
01:00:32,420 --> 01:00:35,590
My handle's @EstebanJovi
##blessed#earthtoJason.
1495
01:00:35,757 --> 01:00:37,634
Hi, welcome to my party.
I'm talking to--
1496
01:00:37,801 --> 01:00:40,303
Dude, don't fucking touch me,
I'll Kill you!
1497
01:00:40,470 --> 01:00:42,764
(Taking deep breaths)
1498
01:00:46,309 --> 01:00:47,310
Baby, you were so brave.
1499
01:00:47,477 --> 01:00:48,311
I know.
1500
01:00:48,478 --> 01:00:50,188
Jason!
1501
01:00:50,355 --> 01:00:53,066
Don't forget what I told you,
watch out for that ball grabber.
1502
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:56,444
Brian!
1503
01:00:58,530 --> 01:00:59,614
Brian!
1504
01:01:04,995 --> 01:01:14,838
(♪♪♪)
1505
01:01:41,781 --> 01:01:43,533
JAY:
Officer Arnold.
1506
01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:45,660
It's detective.
1507
01:01:45,827 --> 01:01:47,537
JAY: What can I help
you with, my friend?
1508
01:01:47,704 --> 01:01:49,497
How exactly did you know
1509
01:01:49,664 --> 01:01:53,126
the casting director
Anthony Costalino?
1510
01:01:53,293 --> 01:01:54,586
I didn't.
1511
01:01:54,753 --> 01:01:55,879
Uh, I think the first time
I heard his name
1512
01:01:56,046 --> 01:01:57,214
was when you arrested me.
1513
01:01:57,380 --> 01:01:58,632
(Arnold laughing)
1514
01:01:58,798 --> 01:01:59,883
That's-- that's funny.
1515
01:02:00,050 --> 01:02:01,343
That's funny, you know why?
1516
01:02:01,509 --> 01:02:03,595
'Cause I called the studio
and they told me
1517
01:02:03,762 --> 01:02:07,224
that you are in a casting
with him that day.
1518
01:02:07,390 --> 01:02:08,600
DETECTIVE ARNOLD:
Uh.
1519
01:02:08,767 --> 01:02:11,353
Um, I uh, well, I must--
must have forgot.
1520
01:02:11,519 --> 01:02:12,938
- I get a lot of--
- You must have.
1521
01:02:13,104 --> 01:02:15,190
Call m-- a lot of casting calls.
1522
01:02:15,357 --> 01:02:16,900
Oh, it's just a big coincidence,
right?
1523
01:02:17,067 --> 01:02:18,318
Yeah, it must have been,
I guess--
1524
01:02:18,485 --> 01:02:19,444
But the thing is
I don't fucking believe
1525
01:02:19,611 --> 01:02:21,613
in coincidences, motherfucker.
1526
01:02:21,780 --> 01:02:23,281
And when I get enough evidence
on you,
1527
01:02:23,448 --> 01:02:24,574
I'm gonna bury you
and put you away
1528
01:02:24,741 --> 01:02:26,243
for a very long time.
1529
01:02:26,409 --> 01:02:27,702
(Chuckling)
1530
01:02:27,869 --> 01:02:28,620
Cool, man, what the fuck?
1531
01:02:28,787 --> 01:02:29,663
(Yelling)
1532
01:02:29,829 --> 01:02:31,957
What the fuck, man?
1533
01:02:32,123 --> 01:02:33,583
Sleep well, Mewes.
1534
01:02:33,750 --> 01:02:36,795
Your days of a free man
are slowly--
1535
01:02:36,962 --> 01:02:38,713
Dwindling--
fuck!
1536
01:02:46,888 --> 01:02:47,764
JAY:
Geena!
1537
01:02:47,931 --> 01:02:49,266
Geena!
1538
01:02:49,432 --> 01:02:51,768
Hey, Geena, I need to speak
to you urgently!
1539
01:02:51,935 --> 01:02:53,645
GEENA:
Jesus, Mary's cunt!
1540
01:02:53,812 --> 01:02:55,939
You scared five years off of me,
asshole.
1541
01:02:56,106 --> 01:02:57,357
Have you ever thought
about smoking
1542
01:02:57,524 --> 01:02:59,776
a little marijuana?
1543
01:02:59,943 --> 01:03:01,778
It might settle you down
a touch.
1544
01:03:01,945 --> 01:03:05,615
I need s-- uh, some quick gigs,
preferably cash, big earners.
1545
01:03:05,782 --> 01:03:07,534
You need lots of money and fast.
1546
01:03:07,701 --> 01:03:09,577
How about a fricking knighthood
while I'm at it, Sir Jason.
1547
01:03:09,744 --> 01:03:11,246
I'm serious, Geena.
1548
01:03:11,413 --> 01:03:13,665
What happened to uh,
"I only want to do serious shit,
1549
01:03:13,832 --> 01:03:15,792
no more Snagins fucking goochy"?
1550
01:03:15,959 --> 01:03:16,793
I just might need
some quick cash
1551
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:17,877
for something coming up.
1552
01:03:18,044 --> 01:03:19,379
Christ, Jason, what?
1553
01:03:19,546 --> 01:03:20,463
Hey, do you have
that lawyer's number
1554
01:03:20,630 --> 01:03:21,464
and can I have it?
1555
01:03:21,631 --> 01:03:23,300
You need to calm down.
1556
01:03:23,466 --> 01:03:26,594
No, you need to give me a gig,
earn that percentage.
1557
01:03:26,761 --> 01:03:27,637
(Screaming)
1558
01:03:27,804 --> 01:03:28,638
(Grunting)
1559
01:03:28,805 --> 01:03:30,765
(Sighing)
1560
01:03:33,226 --> 01:03:34,477
(Indistinct speech)
1561
01:03:37,230 --> 01:03:38,815
- Excuse me.
- (Screaming)
1562
01:03:38,982 --> 01:03:40,066
- Shit!
- (George screaming)
1563
01:03:40,233 --> 01:03:41,443
- Fuck!
- GEORGE: Fuck you!
1564
01:03:41,609 --> 01:03:43,028
- Shit!
- What the fuck is wrong
1565
01:03:43,194 --> 01:03:45,113
with you fucking people, man,
this is shit.
1566
01:03:45,280 --> 01:03:47,532
Trying to get yourself
fucking killed?
1567
01:03:47,699 --> 01:03:49,868
You trying to get yourself
fucking killed?
1568
01:03:50,035 --> 01:03:50,910
Give me the code.
1569
01:03:51,077 --> 01:03:52,537
(Taking deep breaths)
1570
01:03:52,704 --> 01:03:54,414
GEORGE:
No.
1571
01:03:54,581 --> 01:03:55,457
What are you doing?
1572
01:03:55,623 --> 01:03:56,499
Give me the fucking code.
1573
01:03:56,666 --> 01:03:57,876
5-6-3-3-7-5--
1574
01:03:58,043 --> 01:03:59,377
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1575
01:03:59,544 --> 01:04:01,087
Put it in
with your fucking tongue.
1576
01:04:01,254 --> 01:04:02,047
- My tongue?
- Yes! -
1577
01:04:02,213 --> 01:04:03,131
Okay.
1578
01:04:03,298 --> 01:04:04,090
- Are you sure?
- Do it!
1579
01:04:04,257 --> 01:04:05,800
- Okay.
- Now.
1580
01:04:05,967 --> 01:04:06,926
(Door buzzes)
1581
01:04:07,093 --> 01:04:08,053
It's open.
1582
01:04:08,219 --> 01:04:09,846
(George taking deep breath)
1583
01:04:10,013 --> 01:04:10,889
Thanks.
1584
01:04:11,056 --> 01:04:12,849
You're welcome.
1585
01:04:13,016 --> 01:04:14,059
Is it just straight down?
1586
01:04:14,225 --> 01:04:15,727
Yeah, yeah, to the left.
1587
01:04:17,771 --> 01:04:19,439
DETECTIVE ARNOLD:
Boss, it's detective Arnold.
1588
01:04:19,606 --> 01:04:20,565
I need to talk to you.
1589
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:24,569
Chief?
1590
01:04:24,736 --> 01:04:25,862
Hello?
1591
01:04:26,029 --> 01:04:31,993
(♪♪♪)
1592
01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:34,037
Hello?
1593
01:04:35,955 --> 01:04:38,208
Breaking and entering mean much
to you, detective?
1594
01:04:38,375 --> 01:04:39,876
I heard some distress.
1595
01:04:40,043 --> 01:04:44,214
I-- It was uh, had justification
to uh, investigate.
1596
01:04:44,381 --> 01:04:47,509
Maybe I have justification
to fire your ass.
1597
01:04:47,675 --> 01:04:48,635
DETECTIVE ARNOLD:
What are you wearing?
1598
01:04:48,802 --> 01:04:50,178
Chief, I need to talk to you.
1599
01:04:50,345 --> 01:04:51,971
Is this about Jason Mewes,
again?
1600
01:04:52,138 --> 01:04:53,640
Snoogans boy?
1601
01:04:53,807 --> 01:04:56,101
- He's a cool guy.
- Shut the fuck up, lover boy.
1602
01:04:56,267 --> 01:04:58,728
You're not that beautiful,
you know that?
1603
01:04:58,895 --> 01:04:59,729
Baby!
1604
01:04:59,896 --> 01:05:00,939
(Muttering)
1605
01:05:05,110 --> 01:05:06,569
Look into my eyes, detective.
1606
01:05:08,154 --> 01:05:09,781
It'll be
like transporting yourself
1607
01:05:09,948 --> 01:05:14,536
to an everlasting desert
of the purest beauty.
1608
01:05:14,702 --> 01:05:16,913
(Indistinct speech)
1609
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:19,833
So you really think
that Jason Mewes plotted
1610
01:05:19,999 --> 01:05:23,086
and carried out a murder
under the noses of the LAPD?
1611
01:05:23,253 --> 01:05:24,629
DETECTIVE ARNOLD:
Jason Mewes was--
1612
01:05:24,796 --> 01:05:26,089
Vinnie Jones killed
that casting director
1613
01:05:26,256 --> 01:05:27,757
and ordered
the witness murdered.
1614
01:05:27,924 --> 01:05:29,300
- That's it.
- Bullshit!
1615
01:05:29,467 --> 01:05:31,261
Open and shut.
You're obsessed, detective.
1616
01:05:31,428 --> 01:05:33,179
Leave Mewes the fuck alone
or I will prosecute you
1617
01:05:33,346 --> 01:05:34,889
for breaking and entering.
1618
01:05:35,056 --> 01:05:37,350
Chief, you're not seeing
the trees for the wood.
1619
01:05:37,517 --> 01:05:40,145
And what are you doing
with those eyes
1620
01:05:40,311 --> 01:05:42,272
and using them as a--
some sort of weapon?
1621
01:05:42,439 --> 01:05:44,190
Stop doing that
with your fucking eyes, man!
1622
01:05:44,357 --> 01:05:45,191
Oh, it's I'm numb.
1623
01:05:45,358 --> 01:05:46,734
I feel very strange.
1624
01:05:46,901 --> 01:05:48,695
I'm comfortable
with my sexuality
1625
01:05:48,862 --> 01:05:50,071
until this very second.
1626
01:05:50,238 --> 01:05:51,197
I-- I love you.
1627
01:05:51,364 --> 01:05:52,365
Oh.
How dare you.
1628
01:05:52,532 --> 01:05:54,117
Fuck you!
1629
01:05:54,284 --> 01:05:56,119
You beautiful son of a bitch!
1630
01:05:56,286 --> 01:05:57,745
Fuck you.
1631
01:05:57,912 --> 01:05:58,830
Fuck this.
1632
01:05:58,997 --> 01:06:00,748
(Arnold takes a deep breath)
1633
01:06:03,918 --> 01:06:06,045
Fuck!
I'll kill that son of a bitch.
1634
01:06:06,212 --> 01:06:08,715
(Taking deep breaths)
1635
01:06:08,882 --> 01:06:09,924
(Indistinct speech)
1636
01:06:10,091 --> 01:06:10,884
(Taking deep breaths)
1637
01:06:11,050 --> 01:06:13,928
Oh, fuck you.
1638
01:06:14,095 --> 01:06:15,096
Oh, pick up, you cunt.
1639
01:06:15,263 --> 01:06:17,765
Judge Marsh, it's been a while.
1640
01:06:17,932 --> 01:06:19,893
I'm afraid not so good, sir.
1641
01:06:20,059 --> 01:06:22,145
Yeah, I'm gonna need
to call in that Mexico favor.
1642
01:06:22,312 --> 01:06:25,190
The system's failed me
and justice needs to be served.
1643
01:06:30,528 --> 01:06:32,864
I've already told you
I didn't send any gangsters
1644
01:06:33,031 --> 01:06:33,990
to kill that geezer.
1645
01:06:34,157 --> 01:06:35,867
I don't even know any gangsters.
1646
01:06:36,034 --> 01:06:37,452
Did I ever tell you
I was English?
1647
01:06:37,619 --> 01:06:38,828
What?
1648
01:06:38,995 --> 01:06:40,330
Yeah, actually I was born
in England.
1649
01:06:40,497 --> 01:06:42,040
My grandma was from Essex.
1650
01:06:42,207 --> 01:06:44,083
I pledge my allegiance
to the Queen.
1651
01:06:44,250 --> 01:06:45,960
It's a known fact
that I might even be related
1652
01:06:46,127 --> 01:06:49,088
to the bloodline
of Sherlock Holmes himself.
1653
01:06:49,255 --> 01:06:50,798
The fictional character?
1654
01:06:50,965 --> 01:06:52,842
Did you know that Mewes
saw Anthony Costalino
1655
01:06:53,009 --> 01:06:55,512
on the day that he was murdered?
1656
01:06:55,678 --> 01:06:57,388
He fucking what?
1657
01:06:57,555 --> 01:06:59,807
He was in a casting
which didn't go too well.
1658
01:06:59,974 --> 01:07:01,184
(Chuckling)
1659
01:07:01,351 --> 01:07:03,269
I don't know, I mean um,
call me crazy,
1660
01:07:03,436 --> 01:07:04,854
but that's sort of
a big coincidence
1661
01:07:05,021 --> 01:07:07,357
and I thought he failed
to mention to any of us.
1662
01:07:07,524 --> 01:07:08,358
(Chuckling)
1663
01:07:08,525 --> 01:07:11,194
Don't you?
1664
01:07:11,361 --> 01:07:12,862
Yeah.
1665
01:07:13,029 --> 01:07:16,491
Are you ready for some good news
finally, Mr. Jones?
1666
01:07:16,658 --> 01:07:17,534
Go on.
1667
01:07:17,700 --> 01:07:19,202
I've talked to the powers
1668
01:07:19,369 --> 01:07:21,204
that be a judge that
I'm quite good friends with.
1669
01:07:21,371 --> 01:07:22,872
We had a weekend in Cabo once,
1670
01:07:23,039 --> 01:07:24,791
but that's neither here
nor there.
1671
01:07:24,958 --> 01:07:27,377
He's decided that we don't have
enough evidence to keep you here
1672
01:07:27,544 --> 01:07:29,379
and we're gonna let you out
on bail.
1673
01:07:29,546 --> 01:07:31,422
Behave yourself now and--
1674
01:07:31,589 --> 01:07:33,049
Adhere to those bail conditions.
1675
01:07:33,216 --> 01:07:34,259
How do they say it in England?
1676
01:07:34,425 --> 01:07:36,094
Uh, cheerio.
1677
01:07:36,261 --> 01:07:37,303
(Laughing)
1678
01:07:39,681 --> 01:07:51,276
(♪♪♪)
1679
01:07:51,442 --> 01:07:52,402
♪ Hit it ♪
1680
01:07:55,405 --> 01:07:56,364
♪ I got ♪
1681
01:07:59,409 --> 01:08:01,286
♪ Hit it ♪
1682
01:08:01,452 --> 01:08:03,538
♪ I got just one thing
to turn away ♪
1683
01:08:07,375 --> 01:08:09,252
♪ Hit it ♪
1684
01:08:11,296 --> 01:08:12,130
♪ I got ♪
1685
01:08:12,297 --> 01:08:13,131
♪ I got ♪
1686
01:08:13,298 --> 01:08:14,382
♪ I got ♪
1687
01:08:18,553 --> 01:08:21,681
What the fuck?
1688
01:08:21,848 --> 01:08:24,309
What the fuck?
This is bullshit.
1689
01:08:31,608 --> 01:08:34,360
Hello?
1690
01:08:34,527 --> 01:08:35,612
Excuse me?
1691
01:08:35,778 --> 01:08:43,578
(♪♪♪)
1692
01:08:43,745 --> 01:08:45,038
Want more, son?
1693
01:08:45,204 --> 01:08:46,956
(Grunts)
1694
01:08:47,123 --> 01:08:48,291
Let me explain, Vin,
come on, dude, bro!
1695
01:08:48,458 --> 01:08:50,043
(Jay grunting)
1696
01:08:50,209 --> 01:08:52,670
I cannot believe you were gonna
let me rot in that cell.
1697
01:08:52,837 --> 01:08:54,464
JAY:
Look, dude, let me explain, Vin.
1698
01:08:54,631 --> 01:08:55,632
What--
1699
01:08:55,798 --> 01:08:57,634
Some kind of mate you are, Jay.
1700
01:08:57,800 --> 01:08:58,718
Jay is dead.
1701
01:08:58,885 --> 01:09:00,386
Things have changed.
1702
01:09:03,306 --> 01:09:06,100
(Grunting and yelling)
1703
01:09:06,267 --> 01:09:17,528
(♪♪♪)
1704
01:09:17,695 --> 01:09:19,572
Oh, motherfucker.
1705
01:09:20,948 --> 01:09:22,116
(Grunting)
1706
01:09:22,283 --> 01:09:23,409
Really?
1707
01:09:23,576 --> 01:09:24,452
(Grunting)
1708
01:09:24,619 --> 01:09:25,620
Oh, Vinnie, please.
1709
01:09:25,787 --> 01:09:27,121
Please, please, buddy!
1710
01:09:27,288 --> 01:09:28,289
(Yelling)
1711
01:09:29,791 --> 01:09:31,000
(Jay grunting)
1712
01:09:31,167 --> 01:09:32,585
- Shit, shit.
- (Vinnie grunting)
1713
01:09:32,752 --> 01:09:33,753
JAY: Shit, Vinnie,
I'm-- It was sh--
1714
01:09:33,920 --> 01:09:35,672
It was a misunderstanding, bro!
1715
01:09:35,838 --> 01:09:37,173
(Yelling)
1716
01:09:37,340 --> 01:09:38,257
JAY:
Bro!
1717
01:09:40,677 --> 01:09:42,845
(Grunting)
1718
01:09:43,012 --> 01:09:44,514
Snoogans, you Muppet!
1719
01:09:50,228 --> 01:09:51,312
Vin, you okay?
1720
01:09:59,779 --> 01:10:00,738
♪ Hit it ♪
1721
01:10:03,658 --> 01:10:04,659
♪ I got ♪
1722
01:10:17,755 --> 01:10:18,965
Jay?
1723
01:10:21,926 --> 01:10:23,302
Jay, is that you?
1724
01:10:25,471 --> 01:10:26,597
Jason?
1725
01:10:33,771 --> 01:10:35,690
What the hell?
1726
01:10:38,484 --> 01:10:40,194
Honey?
1727
01:10:40,361 --> 01:10:42,822
What the fuck are you doing?
1728
01:10:42,989 --> 01:10:44,198
Fixing the roof.
1729
01:10:44,365 --> 01:10:45,658
In the middle of the night?
1730
01:10:45,825 --> 01:10:47,535
What, do you want me
to dress up as Jay
1731
01:10:47,702 --> 01:10:48,953
and not fix the roof?
1732
01:10:49,120 --> 01:10:50,580
Okay, baby, come down.
1733
01:10:50,747 --> 01:10:52,623
You're really, really starting
to scare me now.
1734
01:10:52,790 --> 01:10:54,542
I am Jason.
1735
01:10:54,709 --> 01:10:57,253
Jason Mewes!
1736
01:10:57,420 --> 01:11:00,673
You can sleep on the couch
tonight, Jason fucking Mewes.
1737
01:11:04,594 --> 01:11:05,386
ANTHONY:
What the fuck?
1738
01:11:05,553 --> 01:11:07,430
Yes, Jason.
1739
01:11:07,597 --> 01:11:08,723
THE WITNESS:
You're trying to kill me.
1740
01:11:08,890 --> 01:11:11,267
Hey, what are you doing?
1741
01:11:11,434 --> 01:11:13,936
VINNIE: You were gonna
let me rot in that cell.
1742
01:11:14,103 --> 01:11:17,648
CARRIE: And what happens
when Jason is very bad?
1743
01:11:18,816 --> 01:11:20,067
DETECTIVE ARNOLD:
I'm com--
1744
01:11:20,234 --> 01:11:21,319
I'm coming for you,
son of a bitch.
1745
01:11:21,486 --> 01:11:22,403
I'm
1746
01:11:26,824 --> 01:11:27,909
And...
1747
01:11:31,829 --> 01:11:32,997
Action.
1748
01:11:33,164 --> 01:11:36,876
♪ Starts another big riot ♪
1749
01:11:44,801 --> 01:11:45,843
♪ Zing ♪
1750
01:11:46,010 --> 01:11:47,970
♪ So what's the use ♪
1751
01:11:48,137 --> 01:11:49,597
♪ Wow, bam ♪
1752
01:11:49,764 --> 01:11:52,850
♪ Of falling in love ♪
1753
01:11:53,017 --> 01:11:53,893
♪ The sky caves in ♪
1754
01:11:54,060 --> 01:11:55,311
♪ The devil cuts loose ♪
1755
01:11:55,478 --> 01:11:56,979
♪ You blow, blow, blow ♪
1756
01:11:57,146 --> 01:11:58,564
♪ Blow your fuse ♪
1757
01:11:58,731 --> 01:11:59,565
(Screaming)
1758
01:11:59,732 --> 01:12:00,650
Die, Snoogans boy!
1759
01:12:00,817 --> 01:12:01,901
- (Screaming)
- Pow!
1760
01:12:02,068 --> 01:12:03,778
JAY:
Holy!
1761
01:12:03,945 --> 01:12:06,030
♪ When you fall in love ♪
1762
01:12:06,197 --> 01:12:17,917
(♪♪♪)
1763
01:12:18,084 --> 01:12:19,126
♪ Oh ♪
1764
01:12:19,293 --> 01:12:20,586
♪ Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay ♪
1765
01:12:20,753 --> 01:12:22,129
♪ Jason fucking Mewes ♪
1766
01:12:22,296 --> 01:12:23,130
♪ Mewes, Mewes ♪
1767
01:12:23,297 --> 01:12:24,549
♪ Jason fucking ♪
1768
01:12:24,715 --> 01:12:25,299
- ♪ Jason ♪
- ♪ Mewes ♪
1769
01:12:25,466 --> 01:12:26,384
♪ Oh ♪
1770
01:12:26,551 --> 01:12:31,722
(♪♪♪)
1771
01:12:31,889 --> 01:12:33,057
♪ Jason Mewes ♪
1772
01:12:33,224 --> 01:12:34,016
♪ Jason fucking, fucking,
fucking ♪
1773
01:12:34,183 --> 01:12:35,101
♪ Mewes ♪
1774
01:12:41,107 --> 01:12:43,609
Mr. Jones failed to return
to the halfway house last night,
1775
01:12:43,776 --> 01:12:45,903
a strict condition
of his controversial bail.
1776
01:12:46,070 --> 01:12:47,947
Early theories coming out
of the LAPD
1777
01:12:48,114 --> 01:12:50,533
are that Mr. Jones used
his British gangland connections
1778
01:12:50,700 --> 01:12:52,660
to smuggle him out
of the country.
1779
01:12:52,827 --> 01:12:54,829
Attention now turns
to the lead detective
1780
01:12:54,996 --> 01:12:57,039
in the case
as it was Detective Arnold
1781
01:12:57,206 --> 01:12:59,083
who supported Jones's bail.
1782
01:12:59,250 --> 01:13:03,462
#Bail, #fail, #bail fail.
1783
01:13:03,629 --> 01:13:05,089
Wonder what took him so long.
1784
01:13:05,256 --> 01:13:06,841
Are you expecting someone?
1785
01:13:07,008 --> 01:13:10,094
Don't worry about it.
1786
01:13:10,261 --> 01:13:12,221
(Splurts)
1787
01:13:12,388 --> 01:13:14,724
(Grunts)
1788
01:13:14,891 --> 01:13:18,269
Hmm.
1789
01:13:18,436 --> 01:13:21,063
Little early
to be drinking there, officer.
1790
01:13:21,230 --> 01:13:22,773
It's detective.
1791
01:13:22,940 --> 01:13:25,151
First step to recovery
is admitting you have a problem.
1792
01:13:25,318 --> 01:13:26,944
I know you did it, motherfucker.
1793
01:13:27,111 --> 01:13:28,779
You're lucky
you're hiding behind that badge
1794
01:13:28,946 --> 01:13:32,992
or I might have
to bitch slap you, officer.
1795
01:13:33,159 --> 01:13:34,076
(Grunting)
1796
01:13:34,243 --> 01:13:35,244
Think you're tough, huh?
1797
01:13:35,411 --> 01:13:36,287
- Not so tough--
- (Grunting)
1798
01:13:36,454 --> 01:13:37,371
Now are you, motherfucker?
1799
01:13:37,538 --> 01:13:38,998
You don't think I'll do it.
1800
01:13:39,165 --> 01:13:40,666
You don't think
I'll pull the fucking trigger.
1801
01:13:40,833 --> 01:13:42,001
I'm twice the actor
you'll ever be.
1802
01:13:42,168 --> 01:13:43,336
I'm English.
1803
01:13:43,502 --> 01:13:44,754
I invented fucking acting,
you know.
1804
01:13:44,921 --> 01:13:46,464
I should have
your goddamn career
1805
01:13:46,631 --> 01:13:48,299
and you should be in jail
getting your asshole licked
1806
01:13:48,466 --> 01:13:51,052
by a fat man in a jumpsuit.
1807
01:13:51,218 --> 01:13:54,347
It's not the last you've heard
of me, Mewes.
1808
01:13:54,513 --> 01:13:55,932
Fucker!
1809
01:13:57,475 --> 01:13:59,268
(Sniffles and spits)
1810
01:13:59,435 --> 01:14:00,645
DETECTIVE ARNOLD:
Son of a bitch.
1811
01:14:00,811 --> 01:14:03,064
(Engine starts)
1812
01:14:03,230 --> 01:14:05,399
(Engine revvs)
1813
01:14:10,279 --> 01:14:11,322
What the hell was that?
1814
01:14:11,489 --> 01:14:13,199
Some guy selling insurance.
1815
01:14:13,366 --> 01:14:14,700
I heard yelling.
1816
01:14:14,867 --> 01:14:16,953
Uh, it's just insurances.
1817
01:14:17,119 --> 01:14:18,162
Right.
1818
01:14:20,247 --> 01:14:22,249
NEWS ANCHOR: The LAPD
have launched an official manhunt
1819
01:14:22,416 --> 01:14:25,962
for British soccer star
turned movie star Vinnie Jones.
1820
01:14:26,128 --> 01:14:27,338
He is wanted on suspicion
1821
01:14:27,505 --> 01:14:28,965
of the murder
of Anthony Costalino
1822
01:14:29,131 --> 01:14:30,967
and for ordering gang members
to put a hit
1823
01:14:31,133 --> 01:14:34,178
on the only known-witness
to the Costalino murder.
1824
01:14:34,345 --> 01:14:35,972
Police have found no trace
of Jones
1825
01:14:36,138 --> 01:14:38,975
but they have found
his rental car abandoned.
1826
01:14:39,141 --> 01:14:40,685
(Phone ringing)
1827
01:14:40,851 --> 01:14:42,103
(Geena grunts)
1828
01:14:42,269 --> 01:14:44,647
Jason, who loves you, baby?
1829
01:14:44,814 --> 01:14:45,898
Yo, what's up, Geena?
1830
01:14:46,065 --> 01:14:47,274
Geena nailed it.
1831
01:14:47,441 --> 01:14:49,151
Autograph shows,
some geeky bullshit,
1832
01:14:49,318 --> 01:14:50,152
event's sold out.
1833
01:14:50,319 --> 01:14:52,863
(Grunting)
1834
01:14:53,030 --> 01:14:54,824
Tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. sharp.
1835
01:14:54,991 --> 01:14:57,076
They'll give you your cut,
cash in hand.
1836
01:14:57,243 --> 01:14:58,369
Boom.
Ooh!
1837
01:14:58,536 --> 01:14:59,829
- Sorry, I can't make it.
- What?
1838
01:14:59,996 --> 01:15:00,997
But-- but you said--
1839
01:15:01,163 --> 01:15:02,331
Forget what I said, alright?
1840
01:15:02,498 --> 01:15:04,792
And get me a studio casting
already.
1841
01:15:04,959 --> 01:15:05,793
GEENA: (On the phone)
Jason!
1842
01:15:05,960 --> 01:15:08,004
(Sighing)
1843
01:15:08,170 --> 01:15:10,715
I have gotta
fuck this guy's brains out.
1844
01:15:10,881 --> 01:15:13,384
He is untameble.
1845
01:15:13,551 --> 01:15:15,469
(Grunting)
1846
01:15:19,557 --> 01:15:20,808
Psst!
1847
01:15:22,226 --> 01:15:23,936
You always dress like that, bro?
1848
01:15:30,609 --> 01:15:32,194
A word to the wise
1849
01:15:32,361 --> 01:15:34,905
about your friend
Brian O'Halloran.
1850
01:15:35,072 --> 01:15:37,491
Seems he's not as good a friend
as you thought he was.
1851
01:15:37,658 --> 01:15:39,410
Wait,
you know about Carrie and Brian?
1852
01:15:39,577 --> 01:15:40,828
- What?
- You just said--
1853
01:15:40,995 --> 01:15:42,496
- I know but Carrie?
- Exactly!
1854
01:15:42,663 --> 01:15:44,165
- Not!
- Huh?
1855
01:15:44,331 --> 01:15:45,875
Brian tried to fuck you.
1856
01:15:46,042 --> 01:15:47,376
Carrie?
1857
01:15:47,543 --> 01:15:48,502
- Brian fucked Carrie?
- Brian fucked me?
1858
01:15:48,669 --> 01:15:49,545
No!
1859
01:15:49,712 --> 01:15:50,796
Wait, what?
1860
01:15:50,963 --> 01:15:52,465
How did Brian fuck me?
1861
01:15:52,631 --> 01:15:54,842
I have it on very good authority
that the studio saw
1862
01:15:55,009 --> 01:15:56,761
early footage
of Acupuncture Killer
1863
01:15:56,927 --> 01:15:58,846
and they love you
for the Odyssey lead,
1864
01:15:59,013 --> 01:16:02,016
especially hand-in-hand
with Brian's own story,
1865
01:16:02,183 --> 01:16:04,894
some publicity-perfect storm
kind of deal.
1866
01:16:05,061 --> 01:16:06,604
This can't be true.
1867
01:16:06,771 --> 01:16:09,440
Brian didn't think
that you could handle the role.
1868
01:16:09,607 --> 01:16:11,233
He went out of his way
to make sure
1869
01:16:11,400 --> 01:16:13,319
you did not get the offer.
1870
01:16:13,486 --> 01:16:14,612
Dude, I gotta go.
1871
01:16:14,779 --> 01:16:22,703
(♪♪♪)
1872
01:16:43,808 --> 01:16:44,725
♪ Hit it ♪
1873
01:16:47,686 --> 01:16:48,938
♪ I got ♪
1874
01:16:49,105 --> 01:16:54,276
(♪♪♪)
1875
01:16:54,443 --> 01:16:56,195
BRIAN'S DATE: I never
understood how an actress
1876
01:16:56,362 --> 01:16:59,156
can be expected
to show vulnerabilities,
1877
01:16:59,323 --> 01:17:03,369
show her true self,
really reveal herself
1878
01:17:03,536 --> 01:17:04,578
if she doesn't trust--
1879
01:17:05,788 --> 01:17:07,039
Oh, Brian!
1880
01:17:07,206 --> 01:17:08,415
Oh my goodness, bro.
1881
01:17:08,582 --> 01:17:09,875
Jay, hey, man.
1882
01:17:10,042 --> 01:17:11,418
Dude,
I can't believe I ran into you.
1883
01:17:11,585 --> 01:17:13,546
I was walking around outside
and it's whoa!
1884
01:17:13,712 --> 01:17:14,630
Isn't that your car, Jay?
1885
01:17:14,797 --> 01:17:15,631
No, it's not my car.
1886
01:17:18,634 --> 01:17:21,011
Dude, it's got your name
on the license plate.
1887
01:17:21,178 --> 01:17:23,556
The Odyssey.
1888
01:17:23,722 --> 01:17:24,682
Oh, yeah.
1889
01:17:24,849 --> 01:17:26,267
Um, Jay, about that--
1890
01:17:26,433 --> 01:17:27,560
Brian got me the role,
I knew it.
1891
01:17:27,726 --> 01:17:30,146
Actually,
I called the studio, Jay,
1892
01:17:30,312 --> 01:17:32,398
and I fought for you,
I really did, man,
1893
01:17:32,565 --> 01:17:34,692
but they're going
in a different direction.
1894
01:17:34,859 --> 01:17:38,028
The Brian I know would say,
"Mewes gets the lead part."
1895
01:17:38,195 --> 01:17:39,488
Jay, I did everything I could.
1896
01:17:39,655 --> 01:17:41,490
It's fucking bullshit, bro.
1897
01:17:41,657 --> 01:17:43,617
Oh, we should get going.
1898
01:17:43,784 --> 01:17:45,661
Let me give you
a little piece of advice, Jason.
1899
01:17:45,828 --> 01:17:46,704
Did you ever hear
of a hockey player
1900
01:17:46,871 --> 01:17:48,289
by the name of Sam Lennox?
1901
01:17:48,455 --> 01:17:50,708
Fucking don't do this,
please, bro!
1902
01:17:50,875 --> 01:17:52,668
Jay, you alright?
1903
01:17:52,835 --> 01:17:55,045
Do you need to like call someone
or talk it out or--
1904
01:17:55,212 --> 01:17:56,922
Or maybe I should--
1905
01:17:57,089 --> 01:17:58,090
Or maybe you should stand up
for your fucking friend, man,
1906
01:17:58,257 --> 01:17:59,341
please.
1907
01:17:59,508 --> 01:18:00,718
I'll see around.
1908
01:18:00,885 --> 01:18:10,811
(♪♪♪)
1909
01:18:23,282 --> 01:18:24,783
(Taking a deep breath)
1910
01:18:24,950 --> 01:18:26,327
Dude, did you know?
1911
01:18:26,493 --> 01:18:28,204
What?
1912
01:18:28,370 --> 01:18:29,205
That Brian didn't want me
in The Odyssey!
1913
01:18:29,371 --> 01:18:30,206
Who told you this?
1914
01:18:30,372 --> 01:18:31,582
Don't lie to me!
1915
01:18:31,749 --> 01:18:33,209
I'm not fucking lying,
I'm just asking.
1916
01:18:33,375 --> 01:18:34,835
And you know what?
1917
01:18:35,002 --> 01:18:36,503
Lately, you're really out
of fucking pocket, man,
1918
01:18:36,670 --> 01:18:39,215
forgetting the relationship
and shit like that.
1919
01:18:39,381 --> 01:18:41,258
Oh, that's fucked up,
you didn't tell me, alright?
1920
01:18:41,425 --> 01:18:42,885
Brian stabbing me in the back
is one thing, but you?
1921
01:18:43,052 --> 01:18:44,553
Come on!
1922
01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:46,764
I didn't fucking stab you
in the back, motherfucker.
1923
01:18:46,931 --> 01:18:48,390
Like did it ever occur to you
1924
01:18:48,557 --> 01:18:50,559
maybe I was looking out
for your best interests?
1925
01:18:50,726 --> 01:18:52,645
Oh, how exactly?
1926
01:18:52,811 --> 01:18:53,562
Fine.
You know what?
1927
01:18:53,729 --> 01:18:54,772
Fuck.
1928
01:18:54,939 --> 01:18:56,315
I love you to death, okay?
1929
01:18:56,482 --> 01:18:57,608
You're like my best friend
in the world,
1930
01:18:57,775 --> 01:19:00,569
but like you are
not a leading man.
1931
01:19:00,736 --> 01:19:01,904
And Brian's gonna make a movie
1932
01:19:02,071 --> 01:19:03,781
the whole fucking world's
gonna see.
1933
01:19:03,948 --> 01:19:06,867
And if you fail on that stage,
man, that's huge.
1934
01:19:07,034 --> 01:19:08,661
And it's tough
to get out from under that
1935
01:19:08,827 --> 01:19:10,246
and it fucking hurts.
1936
01:19:10,412 --> 01:19:12,581
When you carry a flop,
you turn to fucking shit.
1937
01:19:12,748 --> 01:19:13,707
I-- I became a stoner.
1938
01:19:13,874 --> 01:19:15,042
Do you ever wonder why?
1939
01:19:15,209 --> 01:19:16,418
Zack and Miri Make a Porno.
1940
01:19:16,585 --> 01:19:18,295
You start turning to substances,
okay?
1941
01:19:18,462 --> 01:19:20,214
That's me saying it.
1942
01:19:20,381 --> 01:19:22,174
People are still
fucking making fun of Tusk ,
1943
01:19:22,341 --> 01:19:23,968
and fucking Mallrats ,
and shit like that.
1944
01:19:24,134 --> 01:19:25,886
And my big fucking fear is
the movie flops
1945
01:19:26,053 --> 01:19:27,304
and you're sitting around
1946
01:19:27,471 --> 01:19:28,889
wanting
to fucking dampen the pain,
1947
01:19:29,056 --> 01:19:30,307
then maybe you fucking...
1948
01:19:30,474 --> 01:19:31,642
Come on, you can say it, bro.
1949
01:19:31,809 --> 01:19:33,060
(Sighs)
1950
01:19:33,227 --> 01:19:34,478
We don't really wanna do this,
dude.
1951
01:19:34,645 --> 01:19:36,522
Like let's just--
let me enjoy my joint.
1952
01:19:36,689 --> 01:19:38,941
Just say it, bro,
come on, fucking say it!
1953
01:19:39,108 --> 01:19:41,443
Maybe you start fucking
using again, alright?
1954
01:19:41,610 --> 01:19:43,279
Maybe you fucking wind up
with a goddamn 12-gauge
1955
01:19:43,445 --> 01:19:45,155
in your arm.
1956
01:19:45,322 --> 01:19:46,949
Maybe I gotta fucking take you
to nine more fucking rehabs,
1957
01:19:47,116 --> 01:19:48,617
watch you run out
of another one,
1958
01:19:48,784 --> 01:19:50,869
and fucking I gotta
be your goddamn human parachute,
1959
01:19:51,036 --> 01:19:52,830
save you
from the fucking rock bottom
1960
01:19:52,997 --> 01:19:53,914
that you're always trying
to drag
1961
01:19:54,081 --> 01:19:56,417
both of us fucking down to, man.
1962
01:19:56,583 --> 01:19:57,793
I'm sorry, not for nothing,
1963
01:19:57,960 --> 01:19:59,420
but 1 go through
that shit again, dude.
1964
01:19:59,586 --> 01:20:00,838
I got a kid of my own!
1965
01:20:01,005 --> 01:20:02,339
You're fucking great
in my movies.
1966
01:20:02,506 --> 01:20:03,757
Don't get me wrong.
1967
01:20:03,924 --> 01:20:05,884
You're born to play Jay,
but fuck, dude,
1968
01:20:06,051 --> 01:20:09,096
that's a big fucking job
and you're not that actor.
1969
01:20:09,263 --> 01:20:11,473
So stop fucking hounding people
about it.
1970
01:20:11,640 --> 01:20:15,811
Or maybe it doesn't flop,
and it fucking skyrockets,
1971
01:20:15,978 --> 01:20:18,063
and I'm born
to play the fucking Odyssey.
1972
01:20:18,230 --> 01:20:21,483
I nail it,
My career surpasses yours,
1973
01:20:21,650 --> 01:20:23,527
and I'm not
in your fucking pocket
1974
01:20:23,694 --> 01:20:25,654
- to pull out when you want.
- Yeah.
1975
01:20:25,821 --> 01:20:27,364
And then you put me
in your movie
1976
01:20:27,531 --> 01:20:29,616
and my shit kills it,
and for the first time ever
1977
01:20:29,783 --> 01:20:31,493
in the history
of Kevin Smith movies,
1978
01:20:31,660 --> 01:20:34,580
the movie makes money!
1979
01:20:34,747 --> 01:20:36,790
How about that shit?
1980
01:20:36,957 --> 01:20:39,918
Okay, I'm-- like this is
s0 not the fucking time
1981
01:20:40,085 --> 01:20:40,961
to even do this.
1982
01:20:41,128 --> 01:20:43,005
Like...
1983
01:20:43,172 --> 01:20:45,424
I don't know if you noticed,
1984
01:20:45,591 --> 01:20:49,178
but I'm about to go
to a fucking comedy show!
1985
01:20:49,345 --> 01:20:50,679
So you know what, dude,
1986
01:20:50,846 --> 01:20:54,391
if that's really the way
you feel about shit,
1987
01:20:54,558 --> 01:20:55,392
Like fuck off.
1988
01:20:55,559 --> 01:20:56,602
Go fuck yourself.
1989
01:20:56,769 --> 01:20:58,395
You know what?
Go step on that.
1990
01:20:58,562 --> 01:21:00,898
Silent Bob wants Jay to go step
on that fucking joint.
1991
01:21:01,065 --> 01:21:13,577
(♪♪♪)
1992
01:21:22,378 --> 01:21:31,553
(♪♪♪)
1993
01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:32,930
Ferny, man.
1994
01:21:33,097 --> 01:21:35,724
I gotta fire
that security idiot.
1995
01:21:35,891 --> 01:21:37,726
Kevin and O'Halloran
are fucking working together,
1996
01:21:37,893 --> 01:21:39,645
- dude, to destroy me.
- What?
1997
01:21:39,812 --> 01:21:41,021
Dude, they're trying
to sabotage my career.
1998
01:21:41,188 --> 01:21:42,147
Jason, relax, man.
1999
01:21:42,314 --> 01:21:43,732
What's going on?
2000
01:21:43,899 --> 01:21:45,109
I messed up, dude.
2001
01:21:45,275 --> 01:21:47,736
I read the whole book.
2002
01:21:47,903 --> 01:21:49,738
Oh, shit!
2003
01:21:49,905 --> 01:21:51,698
I followed it step-by-step
2004
01:21:51,865 --> 01:21:53,242
and it cleared my thoughts,
dude,
2005
01:21:53,409 --> 01:21:54,952
and at first I thought
I could handle it,
2006
01:21:55,119 --> 01:21:57,162
but then with Kevin and--
and then I-- I feel
2007
01:21:57,329 --> 01:21:58,622
like I'm losing my fucking mind,
man.
2008
01:21:58,789 --> 01:21:59,623
Breathe, Jason.
2009
01:21:59,790 --> 01:22:00,916
I'm going crazy.
2010
01:22:01,083 --> 01:22:03,252
No, you are evolving.
2011
01:22:03,419 --> 01:22:05,796
You're seeing the world
from a different plane!
2012
01:22:05,963 --> 01:22:08,757
The book does that to you, man.
2013
01:22:08,924 --> 01:22:10,300
I've been there.
2014
01:22:10,467 --> 01:22:11,718
What-- what do you mean?
2015
01:22:11,885 --> 01:22:13,095
Jason, I, too, was an actor,
2016
01:22:13,262 --> 01:22:16,598
hugely popular
in my home country.
2017
01:22:16,765 --> 01:22:18,308
But I was cursed.
2018
01:22:18,475 --> 01:22:23,689
Everybody I meet falls
hopelessly in love with me.
2019
01:22:23,856 --> 01:22:26,984
And believe me, Jason,
it is a curse.
2020
01:22:27,151 --> 01:22:29,111
So just like you,
I decided to change,
2021
01:22:29,278 --> 01:22:30,779
beat the curse.
2022
01:22:30,946 --> 01:22:33,240
So I came to America to act,
to play the bad guy,
2023
01:22:33,407 --> 01:22:34,992
the gangster and--
2024
01:22:35,159 --> 01:22:37,911
And one day I met
with a director late at night,
2025
01:22:38,078 --> 01:22:41,999
and he of course, was hopelessly
in love with me,
2026
01:22:42,166 --> 01:22:43,959
and I had a plan.
2027
01:22:44,126 --> 01:22:45,043
Okay.
2028
01:22:50,966 --> 01:22:53,427
(Taking deep breaths)
2029
01:23:07,274 --> 01:23:09,693
(Takes a deep breath)
2030
01:23:09,860 --> 01:23:11,862
How do you think
I met the chief?
2031
01:23:12,029 --> 01:23:14,072
She arrested you?
2032
01:23:14,239 --> 01:23:17,117
For the first time in my life
I was in love,
2033
01:23:17,284 --> 01:23:19,119
deeply in love.
2034
01:23:19,286 --> 01:23:23,499
She massaged the charges
and made them disappear.
2035
01:23:23,665 --> 01:23:27,169
For her, I quit acting
and went into hiding
2036
01:23:27,336 --> 01:23:28,837
from all who loved me.
2037
01:23:29,004 --> 01:23:30,714
And I don't regret it
for one second,
2038
01:23:30,881 --> 01:23:33,008
because it was time
to give up the book,
2039
01:23:33,175 --> 01:23:35,385
but only to the right person.
2040
01:23:35,552 --> 01:23:37,012
Uh, I can't think straight.
2041
01:23:37,179 --> 01:23:38,263
Right, well, Kevin,
he betrayed me,
2042
01:23:38,430 --> 01:23:39,389
he broke my heart, dude.
2043
01:23:39,556 --> 01:23:41,058
And then O'Halloran and Carrie--
2044
01:23:41,225 --> 01:23:42,976
Jason,
as long as there is Silent Bob,
2045
01:23:43,143 --> 01:23:45,270
there will always be Jay.
2046
01:23:45,437 --> 01:23:50,025
Anything and anyone in the way
of turning Jay into Jason
2047
01:23:50,192 --> 01:23:51,568
must be dealt with.
2048
01:23:51,735 --> 01:23:55,030
This is why I chose
to give you the book.
2049
01:23:55,197 --> 01:23:57,533
You are right.
2050
01:23:57,699 --> 01:23:58,867
Thanks, man.
2051
01:23:59,034 --> 01:24:01,370
Oh, and, Jason!
2052
01:24:01,537 --> 01:24:03,497
I have a feeling
this might come in useful.
2053
01:24:06,708 --> 01:24:10,003
You're a dangerous man,
Fernando.
2054
01:24:12,714 --> 01:24:22,599
(♪♪♪)
2055
01:24:34,403 --> 01:24:44,246
(♪♪♪)
2056
01:24:53,630 --> 01:24:56,383
(Car revvs)
2057
01:24:59,595 --> 01:25:01,388
(Crickets chirping)
2058
01:25:01,555 --> 01:25:03,390
(Car revving)
2059
01:25:03,557 --> 01:25:13,400
(♪♪♪)
2060
01:25:19,281 --> 01:25:21,116
(Grunting)
2061
01:25:21,283 --> 01:25:27,372
(♪♪♪)
2062
01:25:27,539 --> 01:25:28,790
There you are.
2063
01:25:28,957 --> 01:25:31,209
I'm not even supposed
to be here today.
2064
01:25:31,376 --> 01:25:32,628
Not even supposed
to be here today.
2065
01:25:32,794 --> 01:25:34,338
That's right, motherfucker.
2066
01:25:34,504 --> 01:25:35,631
Carried that movie.
2067
01:25:35,797 --> 01:25:46,975
(♪♪♪)
2068
01:25:47,142 --> 01:25:48,310
Oh, I gotta see this again.
2069
01:25:51,897 --> 01:25:53,649
BRIAN: (On the TV) I'm not
even supposed to be here today.
2070
01:25:53,815 --> 01:25:55,484
(Laughing)
2071
01:25:55,651 --> 01:25:57,486
Every fucking time,
it kills me, man.
2072
01:25:57,653 --> 01:26:07,537
(♪♪♪)
2073
01:26:14,461 --> 01:26:15,671
CARRIE:
You want what?
2074
01:26:15,837 --> 01:26:16,713
A blowie.
2075
01:26:16,880 --> 01:26:18,382
Not a big deal.
2076
01:26:18,548 --> 01:26:19,716
It won't last long.
2077
01:26:19,883 --> 01:26:21,551
You can forget about it,
you little shit.
2078
01:26:21,718 --> 01:26:23,345
Oh, you've already showed me
your titties.
2079
01:26:23,512 --> 01:26:25,347
For my fiancé.
2080
01:26:25,514 --> 01:26:29,184
He wants that comic book so bad
he'd probably blow you himself.
2081
01:26:29,351 --> 01:26:32,521
Also, it's not the full titty
unless you see the nip.
2082
01:26:34,940 --> 01:26:36,858
BRIAN: (On the TV) I'm not
even supposed to be here today.
2083
01:26:37,025 --> 01:26:39,695
(Laughing)
2084
01:26:39,861 --> 01:26:42,197
Oh, man.
2085
01:26:42,364 --> 01:26:44,449
(Lights turns off)
2086
01:26:44,616 --> 01:26:46,868
What the fuck?
2087
01:26:54,042 --> 01:26:55,669
BRIAN:
What is going on?
2088
01:26:57,713 --> 01:26:59,172
It's not raining.
2089
01:27:05,554 --> 01:27:07,514
Fucking sake.
2090
01:27:07,681 --> 01:27:09,433
Stupid mirror.
2091
01:27:15,021 --> 01:27:17,274
Jesus!
2092
01:27:17,441 --> 01:27:18,734
Jesus?
2093
01:27:18,900 --> 01:27:20,193
Who let you in?
2094
01:27:20,360 --> 01:27:21,403
Come on.
2095
01:27:21,570 --> 01:27:22,320
Come on, Jesus.
Look out.
2096
01:27:22,487 --> 01:27:23,572
Good boy.
2097
01:27:28,410 --> 01:27:29,828
Fuck is going on?
2098
01:27:29,995 --> 01:27:39,880
(♪♪♪)
2099
01:27:51,183 --> 01:27:52,684
Got you, mother--
2100
01:27:52,851 --> 01:27:54,561
Jay?
2101
01:27:54,728 --> 01:27:55,854
What are you doing here?
2102
01:27:57,689 --> 01:27:58,899
(Screaming)
2103
01:27:59,065 --> 01:28:00,567
What the fuck, Jay?
2104
01:28:00,734 --> 01:28:02,027
Ow!
2105
01:28:02,194 --> 01:28:03,612
Oh, man, you son of a--
2106
01:28:06,865 --> 01:28:10,577
(Grunting)
2107
01:28:10,744 --> 01:28:12,120
Okay, okay.
2108
01:28:12,287 --> 01:28:13,455
Show me the full titty
and we have a deal.
2109
01:28:13,622 --> 01:28:14,998
Go back inside and jerk off.
2110
01:28:15,165 --> 01:28:16,082
(Sighing)
2111
01:28:16,249 --> 01:28:17,584
(Brian O'Halloran yelling)
2112
01:28:19,544 --> 01:28:20,796
Oh God!
2113
01:28:20,962 --> 01:28:21,838
Yeah.
2114
01:28:22,005 --> 01:28:23,715
(Grunting)
2115
01:28:28,845 --> 01:28:30,472
- (Yelling)
- BRIAN: Oh!
2116
01:28:30,639 --> 01:28:33,099
You like
the fucking Golden Rocket?
2117
01:28:33,266 --> 01:28:34,893
(Yelling)
2118
01:28:35,060 --> 01:28:37,020
(Grunting)
2119
01:28:37,187 --> 01:28:37,979
(Brian yelling)
2120
01:28:38,146 --> 01:28:40,315
(Crying)
2121
01:28:40,482 --> 01:28:46,738
(♪♪♪)
2122
01:28:46,905 --> 01:28:50,659
Jay, you can have The Odyssey.
2123
01:28:50,826 --> 01:28:52,202
Carrie.
2124
01:28:52,369 --> 01:28:54,538
I know about you and Carrie,
motherfucker!
2125
01:28:54,704 --> 01:28:55,914
(Brian O'Halloran grunting)
2126
01:28:56,081 --> 01:28:57,833
What about Carrie?
2127
01:28:57,999 --> 01:28:58,834
Carrie?
2128
01:28:59,000 --> 01:29:00,460
Jason!
2129
01:29:00,627 --> 01:29:02,003
Who the hell is that?
2130
01:29:02,170 --> 01:29:04,631
Are you about
to murder Brian O'Halloran?
2131
01:29:04,798 --> 01:29:06,383
Look, I saw what was
on the computer, right?
2132
01:29:06,550 --> 01:29:08,593
And I saw you guys hugging
at Esteban's.
2133
01:29:08,760 --> 01:29:09,636
No.
2134
01:29:09,803 --> 01:29:11,179
Jason, you asshole.
2135
01:29:11,346 --> 01:29:12,639
I asked Brian
to take you seriously
2136
01:29:12,806 --> 01:29:15,058
- as an actor at Esteban's.
- Yeah.
2137
01:29:15,225 --> 01:29:16,893
I told him it would
mean the world for you
2138
01:29:17,060 --> 01:29:18,770
if you got the role
in The Odyssey.
2139
01:29:18,937 --> 01:29:20,146
Uh, yeah, man, yeah,
The Odyssey.
2140
01:29:20,313 --> 01:29:23,024
This is also Brian
from next door.
2141
01:29:23,191 --> 01:29:24,943
I've been bidding
on that fucking comic
2142
01:29:25,110 --> 01:29:26,778
as a surprise to you.
2143
01:29:26,945 --> 01:29:28,488
I've been bidding on that
as well.
2144
01:29:28,655 --> 01:29:31,616
You are the other bidder?
2145
01:29:31,783 --> 01:29:35,203
And you're
that rude little motherfucker.
2146
01:29:35,370 --> 01:29:38,748
Sit the fuck down!
2147
01:29:38,915 --> 01:29:42,002
You were about to kill Brian
for me?
2148
01:29:42,168 --> 01:29:44,546
Not exactly, but...
2149
01:29:44,713 --> 01:29:46,548
Well, yeah, I guess I was.
2150
01:29:46,715 --> 01:29:53,597
(♪♪♪)
2151
01:29:53,763 --> 01:29:54,890
Baby.
2152
01:29:55,056 --> 01:29:57,225
Carrie.
2153
01:29:57,392 --> 01:29:58,560
I love you.
2154
01:29:58,727 --> 01:30:00,604
I love you, too.
2155
01:30:00,770 --> 01:30:02,689
(Kissing)
2156
01:30:06,735 --> 01:30:09,905
What are we gonna do
about O'Halloran?
2157
01:30:10,071 --> 01:30:11,740
Baby, he's a witness now.
2158
01:30:11,907 --> 01:30:12,908
The Odyssey's,
you're right about it.
2159
01:30:13,074 --> 01:30:13,992
I'm not a witness.
2160
01:30:14,159 --> 01:30:15,744
I'm not saying anything.
2161
01:30:15,911 --> 01:30:18,246
Well, I guess you better finish
the job then, angel.
2162
01:30:18,413 --> 01:30:19,247
You sure?
2163
01:30:19,414 --> 01:30:21,249
No, please.
2164
01:30:21,416 --> 01:30:22,792
What's the alternative?
2165
01:30:22,959 --> 01:30:24,085
What?
2166
01:30:24,252 --> 01:30:26,588
I guess you're right.
2167
01:30:26,755 --> 01:30:28,924
- (Screaming)
- Jason, wait.
2168
01:30:29,090 --> 01:30:30,717
What is it?
2169
01:30:30,884 --> 01:30:32,135
Say it for me.
2170
01:30:32,302 --> 01:30:33,720
Please.
2171
01:30:33,887 --> 01:30:34,930
Oh yeah.
2172
01:30:35,096 --> 01:30:36,765
Snoogans, motherfucker!
2173
01:30:36,932 --> 01:30:38,975
(Screaming)
2174
01:30:43,313 --> 01:30:46,316
You have been found guilty
of murder in the first degree.
2175
01:30:46,483 --> 01:30:49,152
(Indistinct chatter)
2176
01:30:49,319 --> 01:30:51,112
JUDGE:
Silence in court!
2177
01:30:51,279 --> 01:30:53,281
...also starring in such movies
as Clerks ,
2178
01:30:53,448 --> 01:30:54,950
Chasing Amy, and Mallrats
has been called back
2179
01:30:55,116 --> 01:30:57,827
into the court as the jury
has reached a verdict.
2180
01:30:57,994 --> 01:31:02,958
A celebrity capable
of setting an example.
2181
01:31:03,124 --> 01:31:05,335
Instead you chose to act
2182
01:31:05,502 --> 01:31:08,213
in a consistently
despicable manner,
2183
01:31:08,380 --> 01:31:11,299
be it on the screen
or over a podcast.
2184
01:31:11,466 --> 01:31:13,385
The crux of the case came
when DNA evidence
2185
01:31:13,551 --> 01:31:15,136
was found at the scene
of the crime.
2186
01:31:15,303 --> 01:31:17,389
Therefore, this court
is left with no choice
2187
01:31:17,555 --> 01:31:22,185
but to impose a sentence
of life imprisonment.
2188
01:31:22,352 --> 01:31:26,439
Do you have anything to say
to the court at this time?
2189
01:31:26,606 --> 01:31:28,817
Mr. Smith?
2190
01:31:28,984 --> 01:31:32,237
I c-- I can't-- I can't believe
this is happening.
2191
01:31:32,404 --> 01:31:33,989
It wasn't me, man!
2192
01:31:34,155 --> 01:31:35,824
- I'm innocent.
- That'll do.
2193
01:31:35,991 --> 01:31:38,118
It wasn't the fat one,
it was the skinny one!
2194
01:31:38,284 --> 01:31:40,829
- Silence!
- Man!
2195
01:31:40,996 --> 01:31:42,330
The remnants
of a marijuana cigarette
2196
01:31:42,497 --> 01:31:44,499
with traces of Kevin Smith's DNA
was found
2197
01:31:44,666 --> 01:31:46,960
on the body of Brian O'Halloran.
2198
01:31:47,127 --> 01:31:48,253
Silent Bob wants Jay
to go step
2199
01:31:48,420 --> 01:31:49,462
on that fucking joint.
2200
01:31:55,343 --> 01:31:58,388
Some suggest that this murder
is the result of reefer madness.
2201
01:31:58,555 --> 01:32:00,849
As Kevin Smith was a loud
proponent of marijuana smoking,
2202
01:32:01,016 --> 01:32:03,018
it brings into question--
2203
01:32:03,184 --> 01:32:05,020
Wait.
Wait, wait!
2204
01:32:05,186 --> 01:32:07,856
Wait, I'm getting breaking news.
2205
01:32:08,023 --> 01:32:09,357
Kevin Smith
has been found guilty
2206
01:32:09,524 --> 01:32:11,109
of the murder
of Brian O'Halloran.
2207
01:32:11,276 --> 01:32:12,152
NEWS REPORTERS: (Together)
Kevin! Kevin!
2208
01:32:12,318 --> 01:32:13,153
Here he is.
Kevin.
2209
01:32:13,319 --> 01:32:14,571
Move, bitch!
2210
01:32:14,738 --> 01:32:16,364
- Kevin!
- NEWS REPORTER 5: Kevin Smith.
2211
01:32:16,531 --> 01:32:17,991
- OLIVER: Out of my way, bitch!
- KEVIN: It wasn't me.
2212
01:32:18,158 --> 01:32:19,117
NEWS REPORTERS: (Together)
(Indistinct speech)
2213
01:32:19,284 --> 01:32:20,827
OLIVER:
Kevin! Kevin!
2214
01:32:20,994 --> 01:32:21,536
Come on, man, it wasn't me,
it was the other guy!
2215
01:32:21,703 --> 01:32:22,537
Come on!
2216
01:32:22,704 --> 01:32:24,164
It was Jay!
2217
01:32:24,330 --> 01:32:26,082
Jay!
2218
01:32:26,249 --> 01:32:27,959
I'd like to thank the detectives
who worked so hard on this case
2219
01:32:28,126 --> 01:32:30,211
to bring us a swift
and just verdict.
2220
01:32:30,378 --> 01:32:31,671
What's the latest
with Vinnie Jones?
2221
01:32:31,838 --> 01:32:33,214
NEWS REPORTER 6:
Does he link to this case?
2222
01:32:33,381 --> 01:32:35,175
The LAPD has
an outstanding arrest warrant
2223
01:32:35,341 --> 01:32:37,385
for Vincent Jones
regarding two separate murders.
2224
01:32:37,552 --> 01:32:39,929
However, latest intelligence
suggests he's currently hiding
2225
01:32:40,096 --> 01:32:42,849
in the United Kingdom a midst
his extensive criminal network
2226
01:32:43,016 --> 01:32:44,267
within the British underworld.
2227
01:32:44,434 --> 01:32:45,310
- NEWS REPORTERS: Jay!
- It's Jason!
2228
01:32:45,477 --> 01:32:47,228
Jason!
Move, bitch.
2229
01:32:47,395 --> 01:32:49,856
Jason, how do you feel
about the court's decision?
2230
01:32:50,023 --> 01:32:51,566
Absolutely mortified.
2231
01:32:51,733 --> 01:32:53,568
Do you still believe Kevin
was innocent?
2232
01:32:53,735 --> 01:32:56,196
Now, I believe you know,
Kevin's jealousy
2233
01:32:56,362 --> 01:32:58,406
over Brian O'Halloran's
career directing,
2234
01:32:58,573 --> 01:33:00,075
it's a little funky,
2235
01:33:00,241 --> 01:33:03,203
but I can't imagine Kevin
doing anything like this.
2236
01:33:03,369 --> 01:33:04,329
- (Indistinct speech)
- Oh, Jason.
2237
01:33:04,496 --> 01:33:06,039
Jason, is it also true
2238
01:33:06,206 --> 01:33:07,540
that you've been hired
onto what would have been
2239
01:33:07,707 --> 01:33:10,085
Mr. O'Halloran's
big directorial debut?
2240
01:33:10,251 --> 01:33:11,961
Well, Brian and I spoke
at lengths
2241
01:33:12,128 --> 01:33:13,963
about me playing the lead
in The Odyssey ,
2242
01:33:14,130 --> 01:33:16,091
and matter of fact
the first time
2243
01:33:16,257 --> 01:33:17,967
he showed me the project,
it was on the set of Dogma.
2244
01:33:18,134 --> 01:33:19,427
So I think I should
follow through with it
2245
01:33:19,594 --> 01:33:21,679
and who better than Chris Nolan
2246
01:33:21,846 --> 01:33:23,598
to fill
Brian's remarkable shoes.
2247
01:33:23,765 --> 01:33:25,141
I mean it's gonna be great.
Great.
2248
01:33:25,308 --> 01:33:26,518
Oh, Jason, one last question.
2249
01:33:26,684 --> 01:33:28,353
Jason!
Jason!
2250
01:33:28,520 --> 01:33:31,231
(Indistinct chatter)
2251
01:33:31,397 --> 01:33:33,608
(Snoochie girls cheering)
2252
01:33:33,775 --> 01:33:35,360
(Indistinct speech)
2253
01:33:35,527 --> 01:33:37,112
(Indistinct chatter)
2254
01:33:37,278 --> 01:33:40,073
(Indistinct chatter)
2255
01:33:40,240 --> 01:33:45,286
(♪♪♪)
2256
01:33:45,453 --> 01:33:46,663
OLIVER:
Mr. Arnold!
2257
01:33:46,830 --> 01:33:48,623
- Mr. Arnold!
- Detective.
2258
01:33:48,790 --> 01:33:50,208
Do you not believe
your presence here
2259
01:33:50,375 --> 01:33:52,001
is a little inappropriate
considering what you--
2260
01:33:52,168 --> 01:33:54,462
Jason Mewes
is a criminal mastermind.
2261
01:33:54,629 --> 01:33:56,131
Your obsession with Mewes
is alleged
2262
01:33:56,297 --> 01:33:58,091
to have dated back
to your unsuccessful audition
2263
01:33:58,258 --> 01:34:00,135
for a role that Jason
was offered.
2264
01:34:00,301 --> 01:34:01,302
Noogles to the snoo--
2265
01:34:01,469 --> 01:34:02,846
- MAN 1: No, next.
- Oh.
2266
01:34:03,012 --> 01:34:04,639
That's substantiated
and you can't prove that.
2267
01:34:04,806 --> 01:34:06,641
You have been disgraced,
thrown off the force,
2268
01:34:06,808 --> 01:34:08,601
and could face
criminal assault charges
2269
01:34:08,768 --> 01:34:11,104
after the infamous
security video was leaked.
2270
01:34:13,439 --> 01:34:15,316
- (Grunting)
- Now are you, motherfucker?
2271
01:34:15,483 --> 01:34:17,610
And yet you stand here today
still insisting
2272
01:34:17,777 --> 01:34:20,155
that Mewes is a murderer?
2273
01:34:20,321 --> 01:34:22,115
If I have to spend
every goddamn second
2274
01:34:22,282 --> 01:34:24,576
of the rest of my life proving
that Jason Mewes is a murderer,
2275
01:34:24,742 --> 01:34:25,910
I will.
2276
01:34:26,077 --> 01:34:27,078
I'm a descendant
of Sherlock Holmes,
2277
01:34:27,245 --> 01:34:28,204
motherfucker.
2278
01:34:28,371 --> 01:34:29,581
I can solve anything.
2279
01:34:29,747 --> 01:34:31,166
You hear that, Mewes?
2280
01:34:31,332 --> 01:34:33,042
I'm coming for you,
son of a bitch.
2281
01:34:33,209 --> 01:34:35,211
You cock-sucking actor,
motherfucker.
2282
01:34:35,378 --> 01:34:36,713
I'm coming for you!
2283
01:34:36,880 --> 01:34:38,214
Nothing will stop me!
2284
01:34:38,381 --> 01:34:40,383
Absolutely nothing!
2285
01:34:40,550 --> 01:34:41,426
Fucker!
2286
01:34:41,593 --> 01:34:43,511
(Arnold laughing)
2287
01:34:43,678 --> 01:34:44,679
If he's related
to Sherlock Holmes,
2288
01:34:44,846 --> 01:34:46,222
then I am fucking Ryan Gosling.
2289
01:34:46,389 --> 01:34:48,183
And let me tell you now,
I am not fucking Go--
2290
01:34:52,228 --> 01:35:02,155
(♪♪♪)
2291
01:35:16,878 --> 01:35:19,380
ABBIE: We have a brand new
number 1 most important movie star
2292
01:35:19,547 --> 01:35:20,506
in the world.
2293
01:35:23,760 --> 01:35:25,887
That's right, Danny Trejo
is on top
2294
01:35:26,054 --> 01:35:27,931
as the world's
most important movie star.
2295
01:35:28,097 --> 01:35:38,024
(♪♪♪)
2296
01:35:58,127 --> 01:36:08,054
(♪♪♪)
2297
01:36:28,157 --> 01:36:38,084
(♪♪♪)
2298
01:36:52,056 --> 01:36:53,558
Piece of shit!
2299
01:36:53,725 --> 01:36:54,934
JAY: See for yourself.
Why don't you have a sip?
2300
01:36:55,101 --> 01:36:57,437
- I will cut your throat, bitch.
- Why?
2301
01:36:57,603 --> 01:36:59,314
You didn't see me run
anyone over.
2302
01:36:59,480 --> 01:37:00,982
- I didn't see you.
- Wait, what?
2303
01:37:01,149 --> 01:37:02,442
I thought maybe it was that
2304
01:37:02,608 --> 01:37:04,485
English soccer thug
turned actor,
2305
01:37:04,652 --> 01:37:05,820
'cause they keep showing him
on the news,
2306
01:37:05,987 --> 01:37:07,030
but I was blinded
by the headlights,
2307
01:37:07,196 --> 01:37:08,698
- I didn't see.
- Woah!
2308
01:37:08,865 --> 01:37:10,616
ZACH:
Back here, dude.
2309
01:37:10,783 --> 01:37:12,535
Dude, it's me.
2310
01:37:12,702 --> 01:37:13,995
Who's me?
2311
01:37:14,162 --> 01:37:15,538
ZACH: (Chuckling)
It's Zach.
2312
01:37:15,705 --> 01:37:16,998
What the fuck?
2313
01:37:17,165 --> 01:37:18,416
- Zach Galligan?
- ZACH: Shhh!
2314
01:37:18,583 --> 01:37:19,959
Keep your voice down, man.
2315
01:37:20,126 --> 01:37:21,544
I'm gonna be signing shit here
for a month.
2316
01:37:21,711 --> 01:37:23,504
Zach, didn't you get a call?
2317
01:37:23,671 --> 01:37:24,505
ZACH: You know, this
kid came up to me...
2318
01:37:24,672 --> 01:37:25,840
What?
2319
01:37:26,007 --> 01:37:27,258
Get a call.
What?
2320
01:37:27,425 --> 01:37:29,552
- That's not the line.
- I'm sorry, bro.
2321
01:37:29,719 --> 01:37:32,013
Uh, we gave this part
to Dean Cain.
2322
01:37:32,180 --> 01:37:34,057
ZACH:
What, you gave it to Cain?
2323
01:37:34,223 --> 01:37:35,516
Super bitch?
2324
01:37:35,683 --> 01:37:37,643
Dean Cain.
2325
01:37:37,810 --> 01:37:39,145
He's not in Gremlins
or Gremlins 2.
2326
01:37:39,312 --> 01:37:41,105
Zach, I gave you the part
as the director.
2327
01:37:41,272 --> 01:37:42,523
But I can do two parts.
2328
01:37:42,690 --> 01:37:44,025
That's why I did the accent.
2329
01:37:44,192 --> 01:37:45,693
Bro, I don't know what to say.
2330
01:37:45,860 --> 01:37:47,195
Why don't you go watch
your fucking movie?
2331
01:37:47,362 --> 01:37:48,821
I need an ambulance.
2332
01:37:48,988 --> 01:37:51,199
No shit,
'cause that looks painful.
2333
01:37:51,366 --> 01:37:52,533
You killed that guy.
2334
01:37:52,700 --> 01:37:54,535
You're looking pretty pale, bro.
2335
01:37:54,702 --> 01:37:57,455
Are you kidding me?
2336
01:37:57,622 --> 01:37:59,207
What have you got for me
in the picture, huh?
2337
01:37:59,374 --> 01:38:01,959
It's like it could be like
end-title sequence?
2338
01:38:02,126 --> 01:38:03,544
Or it could be
like a crowd sequence
2339
01:38:03,711 --> 01:38:05,546
and it would be like,
"Hey, hey, Gremlin dude!"
2340
01:38:05,713 --> 01:38:06,589
You know,
if I act something like that.
2341
01:38:06,756 --> 01:38:07,632
What do you say?
2342
01:38:07,799 --> 01:38:09,008
We are fully casted.
2343
01:38:09,175 --> 01:38:10,051
(Sighs)
2344
01:38:10,218 --> 01:38:11,844
You gotta help me out.
2345
01:38:12,011 --> 01:38:13,930
I need screen time.
2346
01:38:14,097 --> 01:38:16,099
I'm trying to fucking stay
in the game.
2347
01:38:16,265 --> 01:38:18,851
Alright, listen, I'll talk
to my producers Dom and Rob,
2348
01:38:19,018 --> 01:38:19,894
see if we can--
2349
01:38:20,061 --> 01:38:21,521
Don't pawn me off, bro.
2350
01:38:21,687 --> 01:38:22,522
I'm not.
2351
01:38:22,688 --> 01:38:23,898
Shut up!
2352
01:38:24,065 --> 01:38:26,567
(Grunting)
2353
01:38:26,734 --> 01:38:28,736
And cut.
2354
01:38:28,903 --> 01:38:29,737
Thank you, everyone.
2355
01:38:29,904 --> 01:38:31,239
That is a picture wrap.
2356
01:38:31,406 --> 01:38:41,290
(♪♪♪)
163624
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