All language subtitles for Everything I Know About Love s01e06

[music playing]

- I'm driving you crazy, and
I haven't been around for you

lately.

But I had a few things--

- Birdie, I love this
one as much as you do.

I just don't feel like it's
an upper for a night out.

Oh, please.

No, I'm putting my foot down.

[music playing]

[laughter]

So glad we went for
pastel beauty rather than

shimmer sultry.

Me too.

Maybe we shouldn't do mascara
in case the foam gets in my
eyes.

It's waterproof.

Oh no, it's not just that.

I'm scared I'm
going to slip over.

What if it aggravates my
eczema?

- You can't be scared
of soapy water.

- I don't get why
everyone is acting

like it's so normal to
go to the Student Union

in a bikini in the
dead of winter.

What are you guys doing here?

I thought we were
meet you at the club.

What?

- We heard something at the
pub.

- I bet it was that fucking
rugby player who started it.

- The one in your
geography course?

- Yeah, the one whose face is
like a packet of raw sausage

meat that's been thrown
against the wall.

I've heard him before
talking about girls

in the most disgusting way.

You know, I'm going
to go out tonight,

and I'm going to pull
down his fucking chinos.

And I'm going to stomp
on his balls so hard,

they turn into two
little patties.

Then I'm going to
stack them up in a bun,

and then I'm going to
shove that double fucking

Whopper down his fucking
gob until he fucking chokes.

- Now, could you be a bit
less--

What?

- --Scottish?

No, she's right.

Maggie, don't worry.

They're not going to
get away with this.

- Yeah, if they've
done this to one girl,

they'll do it to others.

There's gotta be someone
at the Student Guild

we can report it to.

- Mags, I think maybe you
should stop looking at it.

Yeah, turn that off.

We need to get you a drink.

We need to go out.

Let's get covered in foam.

Exactly.

Let's get covered in foam,
then cut off some dicks.

Nell.

- You don't have to go out
if you don't feel like it.

What do you want to do?

Mags, are you awake?

Yeah.

How are you feeling?

- I feel like I
don't want to exist.

Not forever, I just don't want
to be here right now being me.

- Mags, you didn't do
anything they didn't do.

Why are you the one in trouble?

You didn't do anything wrong.

But I feel wrong.

I feel like there's
something wrong with me.

- You'll only feel like
this for a bit, promise.

I'm sorry I'm such a mess.

You're not.

I am.

I'm so loud and clumsy, and
I always get things wrong

and forget things.

And I lose things, and I
know I'm this disaster.

But I can't ever seem to
change.

I don't want to be this
constant storm causing chaos
everywhere.

You're not a storm.

You're a hurricane,
hurricane, Maggie, just

like what Katy Perry said.

What did Katy Perry say?

- After a hurricane
comes a rainbow.

See, you're the hurricane
and the rainbow.

You blow through a place,
leaving the most spectacular

thing as you go.

No one ever forgets you
once they've met you.

- No one else sees me
the way you see me.

- We'd be lost
without each other.

Wouldn't we?

We would.

[music playing]

- When I was a single
girl, had clothes,

have the very best car.

Now that I'm a married girl,
go rag it all the time.

I wish I was a
single girl again.

I wish I was a single again.

When I was a single girl, I had
shoes of the very best kind.

Now that I'm a married girl,
I go barefoot all the time.

[knocking]

Come in.

Hi.

Hi.

I didn't realize you were in.

Yeah.

What are you doing tonight?

Nothing.

Why?

- Do you want to maybe hang
out, like just the two of us?

We could bake cookies
and do makeovers.

Do makeovers.

[laughter]

Yeah, cool.

Cool.

[music playing]

[SINGING] wish I was
a single girl again.

- And the investors dropped out
on Friday, six o'clock, yeah.

Come on.

You'll need more than that.

Dad, I'm OK.

I've gone enough.

- That's why you need to
hire me as your lawyer.

But you can't afford me.

- No business talk
on the Lord's day.

Come on.

I want legs.

Amara always has the legs.

She's the baby.

- She's not the
baby anymore, dad.

Sorry, sorry.

Hey!

Couldn't get out of it.

The clients could only
visit the property today.

Happy birthday, dad.

Thank you.

- Soften the lateness
with a present.

- I'll put it on the
table for you, dad.

- You missed a scandal
at church today?

Oh, my gosh, yes.

- Uncle Joseph came
with his new fiance.

What?

Weren't you at his wife's
funeral last month?

Don't judge.

Uncle Joe is a man,
and he has needs.

He's 89.

Thank you.

[clapping]

- And I'm wearing
this thick cardigan,

and everyone in the
practice is freezing cold.

But she won't have
the window shut,

and I know it's because
she's menopausal.

But if she'd just take
[WHISPERING] HRT like I did,

she'd be fine.

- [ON TV] Ready to start,
preparing, warming up.

Where are they?

I don't know.

You don't seem like yourself.

Is everything OK?

Yeah, I'm fine.

And how are things in London?

They're good.

I had an appraisal with
my line manager on Friday,

and she says that
I'm doing well.

So you're enjoying it?

Yeah, I think so.

It's work.

Isn't it?

You're not meant to enjoy it.

You enjoyed your dancing?

- Actually, I have
been dancing a bit,

again, just a
couple of auditions.

I got a final callback
for a really big job.

I, obviously, wouldn't
take it, if I got it,

and I'm probably not
going to get it anyway.

So don't worry.

- I'm more worried
about my daughter who's

given up her greatest
passion with no explanation

and that doesn't
seem very happy.

- Mom, do you know
what that would mean?

If I became a dancer, I
wouldn't have a full time job,

like the others.

I wouldn't have
a regular salary.

I'd have to do temp work.

Would you be OK with that?

What would you regret now?

Not having money,
while you're young,

or not giving everything to
the thing you love the most?

Come on!

Darling, it's starting!

Mara, Mara, come on!

Hurry up.

It's going to start.

It's going to start.

Come on, quick, quick, quick.

- [ON TV] We hold
our breath once more.

[inaudible].

OK.

[starter pistol]

- [ON TV] And they're away,
and Gatlin's off to a fine

start, but Blake is with him.

But here comes Bolt.

Come on!

Yes, yes, yes, yes, woo!

[cheering]

[ON TV] Blake takes a silver.

What a win for Usain Bolt.
Absolutely brilliant.

Usain Bolt-- what an athlete.

What a race.

And the crowd here in
the Olympic Stadium

are loving every second of
this.

9.6 seconds.

- I could have done
that, you know?

I was so good at sprinting.

I was, like, fastest
girl in my whole school.

Did you know that
the Olympic Park

is the same size as 300
football pitches and is, like,

riddled with insects?

So it was really--

[laughs] yeah, and they've
planted 13,000 trees,

which is a bit excessive.

Isn't it?

I mean, we all like trees,
but you can sometimes

have too many.

So do you do this
with all your cuties?

No.

I should probably go home.

- I think we
probably both should.

- I will see you in
a couple of weeks.

[music playing]

What?

Nothing.

- Look, Nathan is
a very literal man.

Clearly.

This is like once mentioned
you like space to your mom

when were 11, and
then every birthday,

all we got were
solar system socks

and books about Neil Armstrong.

Did I?

Yeah.

Your memory is insane.

I don't know how you
remember all those details.

Sometimes, I think you
remember more about me than me.

Of course, I do.

That's the whole point of
being best friends with someone

your whole life.

One day, we'll be old,
and we'll need each other

to remember everything
that's happened.

Makeover?

Makeovers.

[TOGETHER] [inaudible]!

I like that one.

- That is a lovely shade, but
it depends on what kind of look

we're going for today.

Are we going dewy and doe
eyed or smoky eyed vixen?

- Oh, I'm thinking
smoky eyed vixen.

OK, love it.

Or actually, can I have both?

Yes, I can do both.

Oh, wow.

Hi, Nell.

We're doing makeovers.

I'm going upstairs.

I'll talk to you later.

[phone vibrates]

[video call ringing]

[video call connects]

Get your cock out.

[moaning]

I love glitter.

Me too.

- Will you French
plait my hair after?

Of course.

[moaning]

- Oh, my God, that was amaz--

Fuck.

- Oh, what have you
been up to today now?

Spin class.

- Why do you look
like a My Little Pony?

She looks dewy and doe eyed.

- Ugh, you two and
your makeovers.

You've watched too many movies.

Impossible.

Now, we should do you next.

You could totally be
a smokey eyed vixen.

100%, smokey eyed vixen.

Nah, you're all right.

Peace out, lil mamas.

Peace out, lil mamas?

Hmm.

- Are you ready to
see your new look?

[screams] I love it.

You love it?

Yeah.

OK.

What does that look like?

Oh, my gosh.

That is so nice.

- Margaret and
Belinda, this again?

- He's so going to
ask you to prom.

- [gasp] Do you really think
so?

[laughter]

OK, my turn.

- Do you want tawny
temptress or bold, red lip?

Bold, red lip.

[music playing]

- And I am--

That was fun.

I loved it.

Night, night.

Good night.

I'm heading out.

I'll be back in a bit.

What?

Why?

Don't leave.

We're just about
to start shooting.

I'm gagging for a fag, babe.

I need to go to the shop.

- It will start with
the shop, but then you

will pass the Ferrari showroom.

And you'll be in there signing
the paperwork, and none of us

will be able to get hold of
you.

And Roisin will be
losing her shit.

We have been here
before, Kyle, so no.

- Look, if I don't
have a fag, I won't

be able to concentrate
on this scene.

Wait here.

OK, sorry, excuse me.

Here you go.

You're welcome.

[MUSIC - JESCA HOOP, "SEED OF
WONDER"]

[SINGING] Once, my life stood
still, like a stagnant well.

For so long, you
could hear the sound

of spiders, strumming fibers,
calling her to the web.

My river sits in ebb.

The little ones lean
over, laughing echoes.

Bounce down the dark till
it hits the floor, singing,

come on, baby, come on, child.

Call your flow.

Like a seed of wonder, faith
of mustard, oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

Oooh.

All is dark.

All of the light is vanished.

It's gone like something
large hovering high

has covered up the sun.

And something quiets
the silken ringing--

Thank you, everyone.

- You're definitely
going to get it.

Do you think so?

- Yeah, yeah, they were
properly staring at you.

Trust me, it's yours.

I hope so.

Yeah, well, good luck.

Thank you.

You too.

- OK, series finale, last
scene, are we all prepped?

Yup.

Great.

OK, when Kyle finds out,
it's going to be electric.

- OK, positions
everybody, please.

All right, and we are
turning over, and action.

- So how is your swimwear
line going, babe?

It's good.

We're about to
launch a new range.

It's St. Tropez Theme,
all turquoises and golds,

like very chic, very 1980s
Catherine [inaudible]..

Wow, yeah, amazing.

We're cool with this.

How are you?

Are you still dating Bohemia?

Yeah, things are going great.

I really like the girl.

How about Jade?

That breakup was pretty bad.

Here we go.

Now, we're cooking with gas.

- Yeah, we were both hurt at
the time, but we're mates now.

- Kyle, there's something
I have to tell you.

What is it?

- I hate to be the one to tell
you this, but someone has to.

Because everyone is
talking about it.

When you and Jade
were together--

Yeah?

Say it.

- --she slept with someone
else.

Oh well.

Cut.

What the fuck just happened?

I don't know, fuck.

- You can't end an
entire series on oh well.

- I don't understand
why he didn't react.

I think I know why.

What?

- I think Kyle read my
notebook.

- Maggie--

I know.

- --why the fuck was that
notebook anywhere near a cast

member?

- He was asking me about
going outside for a cigarette.

- Everyone, everyone knows
that the most important rule

is you do not leave documents
about an episode lying around.

How could you be that stupid?

I'm so sorry.

- OK, well, we need to have a
serious discussion tomorrow.

I thought you could handle
it, but you're clearly

out of your depth.

Have an awesome day.

Thank you.

Pleasure.

You guys are going to make
me the joke of the series.

- Kyle, I don't
know how many times

do I have to tell you this.

We are following your real
life.

We only show what you do.

You make yourself the
joke of the series.

I know how it works.

This show only works
if I'm being a tit.

That's the only way
you get your footage.

- If you really think that,
then why are you even doing it?

Like stop making both of
our lives so difficult.

You can't have it both ways,
OK?

You can't be the
star of the show,

as well as wanting to be
behind the scenes on the show.

You can't be angry about
being a cog in the machine,

whilst being desperate to
be the shiniest fucking,

biggest cog in the
whole fucking machine.

You know what?

Fuck you for thinking you can
use me, like some little toy.

- No, fuck you for choosing to
put your life on camera to get

famous and then
throwing a tantrum

when it doesn't go
exactly your way,

and fuck you for
ruining my career.

Fuck you.

- I only drink this
when I'm miserable

or when I'm trying
to impress men.

- I know the bloke who just
bought this distillery.

I met him in a hot tub at
the San Diego Yacht Club.

- That sounds like a
Barry Manilow song.

- Everyone's always
thought I'm only

good for three things,
cars, clubs, and fit birds.

Then this show comes along.

Wants to make me famous
for it, so obviously,

I'm going to go with it.

I'll pose naked with a bunch
of roses over my hampton

for a bingo advert.

I'll cut the ribbon at
the opening of the world's

first shisha gym, and I'm kind
of stuck being that person.

Who were you before?

Well, that's the thing.

I don't remember,
but that bought

me and my mates my first
table at a nightclub

for my 13th birthday.

And people have been hanging
out with me ever since.

Are they there
because they like me?

Or do they just
like this persona?

- I think everyone
feels like that.

Do they?

- I mean, I feel like
that quite a lot actually.

I feel like I'm
giving a performance,

but we're different.

I don't think
anyone's watching me.

Grim.

All right, I'm off.

Mate, get whatever she
wants, stick it on my tab.

Sure.

- She's going to need
some Dutch courage

before she goes to her boss
and begs for her job back.

If you're sure, yeah.

- I am, but thank you
so much for everything.

Yay!

Hi.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

- I wanted to let you know that
I'm going to be eating tomorrow

night about eight o'clock.

- I'll pick you up
at half to 7:00.

Good.

Good.

[knocking]

[phone ringing]

- Roisin, I want you to know
I accept full responsibility--

- I don't want to see
you right now, Maggie.

- I understand, but
I've had some ideas

of how we can save the finale.

I don't want your ideas.

Go home.

[crying]

Why are you knitting now?

- I need a few trial runs to
get it right in time for
winter.

What is it?

- It's a pair of
socks for Nathan.

Cozy.

- You haven't been off your
phone for like an hour.

Who are you texting?

My sister.

Aw, how is she?

[phone vibrates]

She's great.

She just bought a
new car actually.

- Another Peugeot or--

Huh?

- I said, another Peugeot
or a different make?

Oh, I don't know.

Hey!

How'd it go?

- Really well,
and I quit my job.

Oh, my God, Amara.

That's amazing.

Do you have a plan?

No, but that's the point.

I want to be open to anything.

I need to be free to go
to all the auditions.

You only get, like, seven years
to do this properly and make

it work, so I've got to try.

Well done, mate.

I feel so fucking relieved.

Hiya.

Are you all right?

Mm, just a full on day.

Amara's got amazing news.

I quit my job.

What?

No way.

I'm so proud of you.

That took so much guts.

Thanks, Mags.

- Have you heard back
about the audition?

- No, but they
said they're going

to let us know by tonight.

Why was your day so full on?

Oh, it was boring.

It doesn't matter.

Let's celebrate.

I am going to make a
cocktail called The Amara.

Stay here.

- To Amara, the best
fucking dancer in London.

Yay!

Woo!

Mmmm.

Woo.

Eww.

Ugh.

- I think we should
play Never Have I Ever.

- We are not playing that
stupid game for the millionth
time.

We already know everything
about each other.

- I don't know, we might
have some new secrets.

Birdie, you go first.

- All right, never have I
ever been to Peterborough.

For fuck's sake.

Why?

- OK, let's play
a different game.

Eye spy?

A drinking game.

- Oh, there is--

actually, maybe not.

What?

- I got given this game as a
present from someone at work,

but I don't know.

It seems a bit dangerous.

In what way?

Go on.

- Well, I haven't opened
it yet, so I don't

know exactly what's in it.

What's it called?

It's called Evil Friends.

Ooh.

[crash]

What was that?

- I think James still hasn't
fixed the broken teller rail.

We should play it.

- Why do I get the feeling that
someone's going to die tonight?

[laughing]

[music playing]

- Now, let me get this
straight.

You put the lime in the
coconut and drink it all up,

put the lime in the coconut
and drink it all up.

- Compete to be the most
evil friend in a cutthroat

game of revelations, where
kindness gets you nowhere

and the truth wins
you everything.

Ooh.

Who's going to go first?

I'll go.

I'll go.

Who amongst you has
the biggest cock?

Oh, this is just silly.

- Nell, I think you would
be hung, like a horse.

But you wouldn't shout about
it, whereas Maggie, you'd

be the opposite.

Everyone would
think you're hung,

but really, you'd be teeny.

Are you taking the piss?

Wait, what would mine be?

Ooh, umm, chode maybe.

Wait, what's a chode?

It's short and wide.

- Nell, that is a
horrible thing to say.

What?

Everyone knows width
is better than length.

What?

[music playing]

Two more, then you're done.

Don't put that on Facebook.

Amara, don't put
that on Facebook!

- Who is most likely to
eat their friend if they

were starving and without food?

That one's really hard.

None of us would do that.

We'd all rather starve.

Birdie.

Birdie.

What?

You guys discussed this,
that I would eat you?

- Yeah, that's
all we do, Birdie.

We sit around, talking about
whether you're a cannibal.

[music playing]

1, 2, 3.

- Oh, I think I'm
going to be sick.

Woo!

[yelling and singing]

Woo!

[lightning]

- Who is most likely
to get divorced?

Me, I think.

Definitely not you.

You've never had a
relationship that's

lasted more than three months.

- You cannot get divorced
from a dating app.

You've got a point.

I think it's birdie.

I'm afraid.

I'd never get divorced.

I saw what it did to my family.

- Birdie, don't take
it so personally.

We're just saying,
it's easy to think

you've met the best
person in the world,

and then you get married.

And you realize there are
other people who may be better.

Look at me and Neil.

- Me and Nathan are
nothing like you and Neil.

- Whoa, everyone, Birdie,
drink, Nell, take a card.

- Who in the group would
you most like to fuck?

Ooh, Maggie, I don't think I
could handle your sexual drama.

Birdie, I can't imagine
what that even would be,

but I know you'd text
me too much afterwards.

It's good to check in.

I mean, probably Amara.

I know we could fuck, and you'd
have no emotional attachment.

Cheers, I guess.

- You're just more
disengaged and free.

- Those are two completely
different words, but OK.

- Who is most likely
to be a murderer?

Ooh.

I think Nell.

Yeah, me too.

- She's very good
at keeping secrets,

and she's got that
ruthless killer instinct.

Aw, thanks guys.

I was briefly offended,
but that's actually

a great compliment.

Are we sure it's Nell?

Who else would it be?

- I guess it would
be Nell, if it

was one of those nerdy
murders that's all planned out

with lots of maps and graphs.

But if it was a horny murder,
I think it would be me.

What's a horny murder?

- You know, like a
crime of passion.

- Who is most likely to get put
in the friend zone by a crush?

Nell!

Drink, Nell.

No, I'm not going to drink.

- It's because you are so
funny and down to Earth.

Yeah, and matey.

Exactly, yeah.

You can be very matey.

Like Gabby, yeah.

- Wait, no, no, no, no,
she's too rude to be a Gabby.

She's more like a
sarcastic ticket inspector.

Oh, my gosh.

100%.

- Don't think I don't
know what you're all

trying to say with your matey
copies, sarcastic ticket

inspector bullshit.

What you really mean
is I'm unfuckable.

Oh mate, we're only joking.

No, you're not.

You've always put me
in this sexless role,

like Nell is the
responsible one.

Nell is the bloke one,
like that take the piss out

of her boyfriend.

Oh, my hair looks so good now,
take a picture of me, Nell.

Oh, what's the
football score, Nell?

Can you explain
global warming to us?

Here's something you
don't know about Nell.

Nell's about to start
fucking her married boss.

She snogged him in the
pub, and then she

wanked herself senseless
online to him last night.

So no, Nell's not
in the friend zone.

Nell's in the sex zone.

Hey!

[clapping]

- Nell, you're going to have
an affair with a married man?

- Yep, it's my turn to be
the leading lady for once.

- He made a vow
to his wife, Nell.

That is really serious.

Oh, Birdie, chill out.

Stop being such a
weird, Mormon virgin.

- I'm not being a Mormon--

- When did you become so
boring and judgmental?

- I can't believe you are
doing this to the sisterhood.

Oh, here we fucking go.

- All these years, you have
been a secret woman hater.

- OK, Birdie, you're not
a prefect for monogamy,

because you've had a boyfriend
for less than a year.

And, Maggie, cool it
with the fake feminism.

We all you're just jealous.

It's not you.

Amara!

I'm on your side.

- Yeah, well, you're
all fucking me off.

Do you know what, Nell?

If this is the choice
that you want to make,

then fine, but you're not
doing it under my roof.

- I'll do whatever
the fuck I want.

We all pay rent to live here.

Yeah, it's not your roof.

It's our roof.

Well, do you know what?

You can't do whatever
the fuck you want,

because I'm moving out
to live with Nathan.

Fuck this.

Birdie, what the fuck?

You can't do this to us.

Who are we going to get
to move into your room?

Not my responsibility.

- You haven't given
us any notice.

I've just quit my job.

I didn't tell you to do that.

- Can you not see how
selfish you're being?

We are all meant to
be in this together,

and now, you're
just walking away,

like we haven't been
planning this for years.

- I'm moving in
with my boyfriend.

I'm not doing anything wrong.

- Yeah, I bet he told
you to say that to me.

- Mag, Maggie, please, this
has been really, really hard

for me.

- This has been really
hard for me, too,

watching you slowly
disappear from my life.

Were you only have
our friends with me,

while you were waiting
to find a boyfriend?

No, no, of course, not.

- You have always been
my most important person.

- I don't know if we should
be that to each other anymore.

It's not healthy.

We can't go on, like we were.

And we have to grow up
and have our own lives.

You don't want that.

You just want Nathan's life.

You've just become
a version of Nathan.

What?

Yeah, you've lost yourself.

I don't recognize you anymore.

Every CD in your car is
Nathan's favorite band.

Everything you wear is
something Nathan bought for
you.

You handed over your
entire personality

to the first man
who asked you out.

I don't know where
the real you has gone.

This is the real me!

Whoever you think I am
isn't who I want to be.

And even if I am
like Nathan, so what?

It's better than just being
a version of you, Maggie.

I can't live with you,
and follow you around,

and look up to you,
and copy you, all so

that you feel better
about yourself.

- I never wanted
you to be like me.

- No, but you have
always just wanted me

to be one step behind you.

- I always wanted you
to be your own person.

- Why does it make
you so insane that I'm

doing something for me?

Because I want you to live.

- Do you think what you're
doing is living, drinking and
fucking

anything for a story?

Maggie, are you even
experiencing any of it?

Jesus, are you even alive?

- Is that what you
think about me?

Is this you telling
me you're moving out,

or is this you
telling me you don't

want to be friends anymore?

Birdie--

I don't know.

I don't know.

I think we just need some
space.

- I feel like you're
breaking up with me.

[crying]

What?

[crying]

[computer notification]

[computer notification]

[sigh]

[typing]

[music playing]