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1
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BERG, COME HERE.
2
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000
CHECK THIS OUT. CHECK THIS OUT.
3
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,176
IT'S A SPIDER.
4
00:00:00,211 --> 00:00:02,243
NO, NO, NO!
5
00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:05,580
IT'S A MIND-BOGGLING
ACHIEVEMENT OF ENGINEERING.
6
00:00:05,615 --> 00:00:08,150
DID YOU KNOW THAT THE
UNDERBEAM STRUCTURE
7
00:00:08,185 --> 00:00:09,918
OF THE CRANBERG
BUILDING IN CINCINNATI
8
00:00:09,954 --> 00:00:14,656
IS BASED DIRECTLY UPON GOD'S
OWN DESIGN OF THE COMMON SPIDER?
9
00:00:24,234 --> 00:00:25,234
MY FAULT.
10
00:00:47,258 --> 00:00:50,425
THERE I AM, HOVERING
OVER THE BODY,
11
00:00:50,460 --> 00:00:53,828
THE SWEAT IS BURNING IN MY EYES.
12
00:00:53,863 --> 00:00:58,066
BUT I KNOW THE PATIENT'S LIFE
DEPENDS UPON MY STEADY HAND,
13
00:00:58,102 --> 00:01:00,234
SO I GRAB THE TWEEZERS,
14
00:01:00,270 --> 00:01:03,438
STICK IT INTO HIS CHEST
CAVITY EVER SO GINGERLY,
15
00:01:03,474 --> 00:01:08,743
PULL OUT HIS... FUNNY BONE.
16
00:01:08,778 --> 00:01:10,879
BIG RED NOSE NEVER WENT OFF.
17
00:01:10,915 --> 00:01:12,625
YOU KNEW YOU WERE
GONNA BE A DOCTOR
18
00:01:12,649 --> 00:01:15,951
BECAUSE YOU WERE GOOD
AT PLAYING OPERATION.
19
00:01:15,986 --> 00:01:17,986
EVER SINCE I WAS 6 1/2.
20
00:01:18,021 --> 00:01:19,999
[COUGHS] LIAR! AHEM!
21
00:01:20,023 --> 00:01:21,523
IT MUST BE SO GREAT
22
00:01:21,558 --> 00:01:25,160
HAVING ALWAYS KNOWN
WHAT YOU WERE GONNA BE.
23
00:01:25,195 --> 00:01:28,097
YEAH. IT'S ALWAYS
GIVEN ME PEACE.
24
00:01:28,132 --> 00:01:30,265
[COUGHS] LIAR! AHEM!
25
00:01:30,301 --> 00:01:33,413
EXCUSE ME. MY FRIEND
NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION.
26
00:01:33,437 --> 00:01:35,136
AH-AHEM!
27
00:01:35,172 --> 00:01:37,250
SOMETHING IN YOUR THROAT?
28
00:01:37,274 --> 00:01:38,918
I'M SORRY, SIR, BUT I'M GONNA
HAVE TO GIVE YOU A TICKET.
29
00:01:38,942 --> 00:01:42,510
DO YOU KNOW HOW FAST YOU
WERE LYING BACK THERE? WHAT?
30
00:01:42,546 --> 00:01:46,448
YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU WANTED
TO BE A DOCTOR TILL 3 MONTHS AGO.
31
00:01:46,484 --> 00:01:47,794
WELL, IF I HADN'T LIED
IN THE FIRST PLACE,
32
00:01:47,818 --> 00:01:50,319
I NEVER WOULD'VE
ENDED UP IN MED SCHOOL.
33
00:01:50,354 --> 00:01:51,398
SO MY STUPID CHEMICAL COMPANY
34
00:01:51,422 --> 00:01:53,388
DECIDES TO HAVE A STUPID BOOTH
35
00:01:53,424 --> 00:01:55,723
AT THIS STUPID EARTH DAY FAIR,
36
00:01:55,759 --> 00:02:00,062
AND GUESS WHO'S
STUPID ENOUGH TO RUN IT.
37
00:02:02,332 --> 00:02:05,932
DOES BRING OUT THE
AMINO ACIDS IN YOUR EYES.
38
00:02:06,970 --> 00:02:09,337
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
39
00:02:17,314 --> 00:02:20,882
I THINK YOU GOT A
TERRIFIC FUTURE AS A DORK.
40
00:02:20,918 --> 00:02:23,418
WHAT'S WITH THE
OUTFIT? HIS DAD'S IN TOWN.
41
00:02:23,453 --> 00:02:26,354
GREAT. I HAVEN'T SEEN
HIM SINCE GRADUATION.
42
00:02:26,389 --> 00:02:29,324
NOT GREAT. BERG,
STOP PLAYING DRESS-UP
43
00:02:29,359 --> 00:02:32,760
AND TELL YOUR DAD THAT YOU
DROPPED OUT OF LAW SCHOOL
44
00:02:32,796 --> 00:02:34,563
2 YEARS AGO. WHAT?
45
00:02:34,598 --> 00:02:36,731
HE STILL THINKS
YOU'RE IN LAW SCHOOL?
46
00:02:36,767 --> 00:02:40,402
WELL, YOUR DAD STILL
THINKS YOU'RE A VIRGIN.
47
00:02:46,810 --> 00:02:48,855
BERG, COME ON. TELL
YOUR DAD THE TRUTH.
48
00:02:48,879 --> 00:02:50,912
WE DON'T TELL THE
TRUTH IN MY FAMILY.
49
00:02:50,947 --> 00:02:52,714
MY DAD'S A LAWYER.
50
00:02:54,017 --> 00:02:55,483
THAT'S HEALTHY.
51
00:02:55,519 --> 00:02:57,852
WE DON'T FIGHT, WE DON'T SHARE,
52
00:02:57,888 --> 00:03:00,755
AND NO SHOES IN THE LIVING ROOM.
53
00:03:00,791 --> 00:03:02,068
BERG, YOU OWE HIM THE TRUTH.
54
00:03:02,092 --> 00:03:03,625
IT'S NOT LIKE I'M
TAKING HIS MONEY.
55
00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:04,626
I'M HERE ON SCHOLARSHIP.
56
00:03:04,661 --> 00:03:06,606
EVENTUALLY, HE'S GONNA FIND OUT.
57
00:03:06,630 --> 00:03:08,229
I'M JUST TRYING
TO BUY SOME TIME.
58
00:03:08,265 --> 00:03:11,099
I AM THIS CLOSE TO FIGURING
OUT WHAT I WANNA DO WITH MY LIFE.
59
00:03:11,134 --> 00:03:13,012
WHAT HAPPENED TO PHILOSOPHY?
60
00:03:13,036 --> 00:03:14,603
PHILOSOPHY WAS THIS CLOSE.
61
00:03:16,173 --> 00:03:17,539
IT'S MENTALLY CHALLENGING,
62
00:03:17,574 --> 00:03:19,541
BUT IT'S JUST NOT
SERVING UP THE BABES.
63
00:03:19,576 --> 00:03:22,677
BERG, LOOK, JUST GO
TO BUSINESS SCHOOL.
64
00:03:22,712 --> 00:03:23,679
BECOME AN EXECUTIVE.
65
00:03:23,714 --> 00:03:25,179
YOU'LL HAVE ALL THE
WOMEN YOU WANT.
66
00:03:25,216 --> 00:03:28,417
LIKE I'M GONNA WEAR
ONE OF THESE EVERY DAY.
67
00:03:28,452 --> 00:03:31,130
OK, SO BASICALLY, YOU'RE
LOOKING FOR A CAREER
68
00:03:31,154 --> 00:03:33,033
WHERE YOU CAN WEAR
PAJAMAS AND GAWK AT CHICKS.
69
00:03:33,057 --> 00:03:35,290
SING IT, SISTER!
70
00:03:35,325 --> 00:03:36,569
BUT FOR THE TIME BEING,
71
00:03:36,593 --> 00:03:38,671
AS FAR AS MY DAD'S CONCERNED,
72
00:03:38,695 --> 00:03:40,840
I'M JUST A MILD-MANNERED
LAW STUDENT
73
00:03:40,864 --> 00:03:44,599
FOR A GREAT
METROPOLITAN LAW SCHOOL.
74
00:03:46,937 --> 00:03:49,037
EITHER I'M NOT SUPERMAN,
75
00:03:49,073 --> 00:03:52,441
OR SHE'S WEARING LEAD PANTIES.
76
00:03:55,478 --> 00:03:57,178
NOW, REMEMBER, MR. BAUER,
77
00:03:57,213 --> 00:03:59,047
I'M A LAW STUDENT.
78
00:03:59,082 --> 00:04:00,048
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
79
00:04:00,083 --> 00:04:01,528
YOU'RE A PHILOSOPHY MAJOR.
80
00:04:01,552 --> 00:04:03,452
BUT FOR TODAY, MR. BAUER,
81
00:04:03,487 --> 00:04:05,921
JUST SAY I'M IN LAW SCHOOL, OK?
82
00:04:05,956 --> 00:04:09,858
I WISH I COULD, BUT I CAN'T.
83
00:04:09,893 --> 00:04:11,726
AND WHY NOT?
84
00:04:11,762 --> 00:04:13,561
TODAY IS MY SON'S BIRTHDAY,
85
00:04:13,596 --> 00:04:15,096
AND I MISSED HIS PARTY.
86
00:04:15,132 --> 00:04:16,698
I WAS BUSY IN COURT.
87
00:04:16,733 --> 00:04:19,112
AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT
I TOLD THE LITTLE GUY.
88
00:04:19,136 --> 00:04:20,836
SO MY SON MADE A WISH:
89
00:04:20,871 --> 00:04:24,139
FOR 24 HOURS, I
CANNOT TELL A LIE.
90
00:04:24,174 --> 00:04:26,641
THIS CAN'T BE GOOD FOR ME.
91
00:04:26,677 --> 00:04:28,943
WELCOME TO MY WORLD.
92
00:04:30,914 --> 00:04:34,983
MY GOD! HE'S ACTUALLY CLEARING
THE DISHES OFF THE TABLE.
93
00:04:35,018 --> 00:04:39,053
ALL RIGHT, WHAT HAVE
YOU DONE WITH MY SON?
94
00:04:39,088 --> 00:04:41,056
DAD!
95
00:04:41,091 --> 00:04:42,157
MIKE!
96
00:04:42,192 --> 00:04:43,458
MR. BERGEN.
97
00:04:43,493 --> 00:04:45,794
PETE!
98
00:04:45,829 --> 00:04:47,840
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA START
DESIGNING THAT BEACH HOUSE FOR ME?
99
00:04:47,864 --> 00:04:49,375
SOON AS I GET YOUR DEPOSIT.
100
00:04:49,399 --> 00:04:51,599
WELL, YOU JUST HAVE
YOUR HOTSHOT LAWYER HERE
101
00:04:51,634 --> 00:04:52,645
SEND OVER THE CONTRACTS.
102
00:04:52,669 --> 00:04:55,303
DAD... YOU REMEMBER BILL.
103
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:57,505
BILL! SURE.
104
00:04:57,540 --> 00:04:59,018
MY SON DOING A GOOD JOB?
105
00:04:59,042 --> 00:05:00,241
OH, YEAH...
106
00:05:00,276 --> 00:05:02,644
WHEN I CAN PULL HIM
AWAY FROM THE LAW BOOKS,
107
00:05:02,679 --> 00:05:05,847
THOUGH HE DID PROMISE TO WORK
LATE FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHTS
108
00:05:05,882 --> 00:05:06,948
TO MAKE UP FOR IT.
109
00:05:08,418 --> 00:05:10,551
RIGHT, BERG? SURE,
110
00:05:10,587 --> 00:05:12,947
BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU.
111
00:05:14,057 --> 00:05:15,690
EXCUSE ME, MR. BERGEN.
112
00:05:15,725 --> 00:05:18,860
WHAT'S HIS NAME
AGAIN? MR. BAUER.
113
00:05:18,896 --> 00:05:21,562
RIGHT. MR. BAUER,
WHAT'S GOING ON?
114
00:05:21,598 --> 00:05:25,400
MY SHORTS ARE BUNCHING UP ON ME.
115
00:05:28,405 --> 00:05:30,072
WELL!
116
00:05:32,509 --> 00:05:34,709
TELL ME ABOUT LAW SCHOOL.
117
00:05:34,745 --> 00:05:36,144
UHH!
118
00:05:36,179 --> 00:05:38,446
[MUMBLING]
119
00:05:38,481 --> 00:05:40,549
[GROANING]
120
00:05:40,584 --> 00:05:41,749
IS HE ALL RIGHT?
121
00:05:41,785 --> 00:05:43,117
NOT EVEN REMOTELY.
122
00:05:43,153 --> 00:05:45,287
Mr. Bauer: PHILOSOPHY!
123
00:05:47,157 --> 00:05:48,668
DAD, WHY DON'T YOU
GRAB A SEAT OUT HERE?
124
00:05:48,692 --> 00:05:49,957
I'LL BE THERE IN A SEC.
125
00:05:49,993 --> 00:05:52,274
GOOD. WE'LL HAVE
A CIGAR AND TALK.
126
00:05:55,332 --> 00:05:56,809
UH, HE WANTS TO
HAVE A TALK, PETE.
127
00:05:56,833 --> 00:05:59,634
UH, YOU GOTTA COME WITH ME.
128
00:05:59,669 --> 00:06:01,836
LOOK, THIS IS BETWEEN
YOU AND YOUR DAD.
129
00:06:01,872 --> 00:06:03,838
I'M NOT GETTING
IN THE MIDDLE OF IT.
130
00:06:03,874 --> 00:06:05,540
OK, FINE.
131
00:06:05,575 --> 00:06:07,087
BUT IF HE STARTS
ASKING ABOUT THE LAW,
132
00:06:07,111 --> 00:06:08,311
JUST RUN INTERFERENCE.
133
00:06:08,345 --> 00:06:10,290
COME ON, BERG. I'M
NOT GOOD AT THIS.
134
00:06:10,314 --> 00:06:11,446
NONSENSE.
135
00:06:12,883 --> 00:06:14,083
HERE YOU GO, BOYS.
136
00:06:16,119 --> 00:06:17,552
MMM! CUBANS.
137
00:06:17,587 --> 00:06:19,498
AREN'T THESE AGAINST THE LAW?
138
00:06:19,522 --> 00:06:23,291
EASY, EASY. EASY THERE.
139
00:06:23,326 --> 00:06:28,763
SO, DAD... YOU'RE IN TOWN.
140
00:06:28,799 --> 00:06:31,110
YEAH, I'M IN TOWN FOR
BUSINESS. IMPORTANT BUSINESS.
141
00:06:31,134 --> 00:06:33,435
I'M HERE TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT BECOMING A LAWYER.
142
00:06:33,470 --> 00:06:35,203
I LOVE FOOTBALL!
143
00:06:37,141 --> 00:06:38,907
STEVE YOUNG'S A LAWYER.
144
00:06:40,043 --> 00:06:41,710
IT'S THE 49ERS QUARTERBACK.
145
00:06:43,947 --> 00:06:46,314
I BET HE'S HAPPY WHEN
THE DEFENSE RESTS.
146
00:06:49,553 --> 00:06:54,122
SO, MIKE, HOW YOU
FINDING SECOND YEAR?
147
00:06:54,157 --> 00:06:55,656
OH, I AM LOVING IT.
148
00:06:55,692 --> 00:06:56,736
STUDYING CONSTANTLY.
149
00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:57,800
HA HA! THAT'S FUNNY.
150
00:06:57,827 --> 00:07:00,562
AS A KID, HE NEVER
STUCK WITH ANYTHING.
151
00:07:00,597 --> 00:07:02,197
ONE WEEK IT WAS RUGBY,
152
00:07:02,232 --> 00:07:03,998
NEXT WEEK, ASTRONOMY,
153
00:07:04,033 --> 00:07:05,077
AND THEN THERE WAS MUSIC.
154
00:07:05,101 --> 00:07:09,437
"DADDY, I'M GONNA BE
THE NEXT ROY CLARK."
155
00:07:09,473 --> 00:07:12,574
I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT
BANJO'S STILL SITTING IN THE GARAGE.
156
00:07:12,609 --> 00:07:14,575
Pete: HA HA HA!
157
00:07:16,212 --> 00:07:19,347
BANJO? HA HA HA!
158
00:07:19,382 --> 00:07:23,784
WHY DON'T YOU TELL HIM THAT REALLY
INTERESTING STEVE YOUNG STORY AGAIN?
159
00:07:25,589 --> 00:07:26,999
NOW HE'S GRADUATING LAW SCHOOL.
160
00:07:27,023 --> 00:07:30,992
DUE IN NO SMALL PART
TO YOU, MR. DUNVILLE.
161
00:07:31,027 --> 00:07:32,427
WHAT?
162
00:07:32,463 --> 00:07:34,173
YOU'VE HAD AN IMPORTANT
INFLUENCE ON HIM.
163
00:07:34,197 --> 00:07:36,064
KEPT THIS HEAD IN THE GAME.
164
00:07:36,099 --> 00:07:39,145
WITHOUT YOU, HE PROBABLY
WOULD'VE QUIT LAW SCHOOL.
165
00:07:39,169 --> 00:07:42,370
OH, SIR, YOU'RE GIVING
ME WAY TOO MUCH CREDIT.
166
00:07:42,406 --> 00:07:43,549
NONSENSE!
167
00:07:43,573 --> 00:07:45,907
I WANNA GIVE YOU
SOMETHING TO JUST...
168
00:07:45,942 --> 00:07:49,644
KIND OF HELP YOU ALONG WHILE YOU'RE
DESIGNING THAT BEACH HOUSE FOR ME.
169
00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:54,515
UH, NO, REALLY...
TAKE MY PEN, PLEASE.
170
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,052
GOTTA RUN, BOYS. BIG MEETING.
171
00:07:58,087 --> 00:08:00,321
MIKE, WE GOT DINNER
AT 8:00 TONIGHT, OK?
172
00:08:00,357 --> 00:08:02,923
AND, PETE? THANKS AGAIN.
173
00:08:06,796 --> 00:08:09,296
AND YOU SAY YOU'RE
NOT GOOD AT THIS.
174
00:08:09,332 --> 00:08:11,165
ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT?
175
00:08:11,201 --> 00:08:13,068
THAT'S IT. ALL DONE!
176
00:08:13,103 --> 00:08:14,202
I'M OUT!
177
00:08:14,237 --> 00:08:15,570
YOU KNOW WHAT?
178
00:08:15,605 --> 00:08:17,305
YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE YOUR DAD.
179
00:08:17,341 --> 00:08:20,141
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHERE YOU CAME FROM.
180
00:08:20,176 --> 00:08:22,777
AND DON'T SAY "ALBANY."
181
00:08:22,813 --> 00:08:24,858
THE THING IS, I
ASPIRE TO SOMEDAY BE
182
00:08:24,882 --> 00:08:26,860
THE KIND OF MAN YOUR FATHER IS.
183
00:08:26,884 --> 00:08:29,618
A MAN WITH PURPOSE
AND DIRECTION.
184
00:08:29,653 --> 00:08:31,853
A MAN WITH DIGNITY.
185
00:08:31,889 --> 00:08:34,555
GO WORK THE FAIR.
186
00:08:36,259 --> 00:08:37,625
THINK ABOUT WHAT I SAID...
187
00:08:39,496 --> 00:08:41,896
AND NOT HOW STUPID
I LOOK IN THIS HAT.
188
00:08:51,541 --> 00:08:53,341
YOU'RE AGAINST CHEMICALS, HUH?
189
00:08:53,376 --> 00:08:55,710
HEY, YOU! MR. ROGAINE!
190
00:08:55,746 --> 00:09:00,649
WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOUR NEW HAIR CAME FROM?
191
00:09:00,684 --> 00:09:02,316
AND WHAT ABOUT HER?
192
00:09:02,352 --> 00:09:04,619
YOU THINK THOSE ARE REAL?
193
00:09:04,655 --> 00:09:06,287
I DON'T THINK SO!
194
00:09:06,322 --> 00:09:08,423
YOU SHOULD BE
PICKETING HER CHEST!
195
00:09:10,126 --> 00:09:11,659
PETE!
196
00:09:12,963 --> 00:09:16,364
HEY! I SAW A GROUP OF
PEOPLE DOWN THAT WAY.
197
00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:19,133
THEY WERE EATING VEAL.
198
00:09:23,006 --> 00:09:23,972
THANK YOU.
199
00:09:24,007 --> 00:09:25,173
NICE HAT.
200
00:09:25,208 --> 00:09:26,340
PHI BETA KAPPA.
201
00:09:26,376 --> 00:09:29,411
SUMMA CUM LAUDE. HOW ARE YOU?
202
00:09:29,446 --> 00:09:30,712
YOU WANT A SLICE?
203
00:09:30,747 --> 00:09:31,891
UHH! DON'T EVEN MENTION FOOD.
204
00:09:31,915 --> 00:09:33,748
I'VE HAD, LIKE, 8
OF THESE THINGS.
205
00:09:33,784 --> 00:09:35,027
WHAT'S THAT?
206
00:09:35,051 --> 00:09:36,829
OH, THEY'RE GREAT. IT'S
A SYNTHETIC CANDY BAR.
207
00:09:36,853 --> 00:09:38,519
THEY TASTE EXACTLY
LIKE CHOCOLATE,
208
00:09:38,555 --> 00:09:40,721
ONLY NO FAT, NO
SODIUM, NO CALORIES.
209
00:09:40,757 --> 00:09:42,790
THESE ARE GONNA BE
THE NEXT BIG THING...
210
00:09:42,825 --> 00:09:43,791
OOH!
211
00:09:43,827 --> 00:09:45,326
IF THEY'RE EVER
APPROVED BY THE FDA.
212
00:09:47,631 --> 00:09:50,265
HERE COME THE
OZONE LOVERS AGAIN.
213
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:53,167
OH, NO. THEY'RE CARRYING EGGS.
214
00:09:53,202 --> 00:09:54,168
WHERE YOU GOING?
215
00:09:54,203 --> 00:09:55,637
GOT HIGH CHOLESTEROL.
216
00:09:55,672 --> 00:09:56,871
COWARD!
217
00:09:58,975 --> 00:10:02,577
YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES
THOSE EGGS SO LARGE?
218
00:10:09,686 --> 00:10:12,153
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA
GET THIS STAIN OUT WITH?
219
00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:15,323
HEY, PIZZA HEAD!
220
00:10:15,359 --> 00:10:18,093
THAT IS SO UNNECESSARY.
221
00:10:21,198 --> 00:10:22,396
YOU WANT PEPPERONI?
222
00:10:22,432 --> 00:10:25,833
AH-AH-AH. YOU CAN'T
MOVE YOUR HEAD.
223
00:10:25,868 --> 00:10:26,934
MR. BERGEN?
224
00:10:26,970 --> 00:10:29,103
MIKE'S NOT WITH YOU, IS HE?
225
00:10:29,139 --> 00:10:30,438
NO. HE'S AT WORK.
226
00:10:30,473 --> 00:10:32,373
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
227
00:10:32,409 --> 00:10:33,774
WHAT HAPPENED TO
YOUR BIG MEETING?
228
00:10:33,810 --> 00:10:35,610
THIS IS MY BIG MEETING.
229
00:10:35,645 --> 00:10:37,078
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
230
00:10:37,113 --> 00:10:39,592
WELL, I RESIGNED FROM
THE FIRM. I'M STARTING OVER.
231
00:10:39,616 --> 00:10:40,949
YOU HAD THIS BRILLIANT CAREER,
232
00:10:40,984 --> 00:10:43,952
AND YOU GAVE IT UP TO BECOME...
233
00:10:43,987 --> 00:10:45,420
A CARICATURIST?
234
00:10:45,455 --> 00:10:47,554
WE PREFER "SKETCH ARTIST."
235
00:10:47,591 --> 00:10:50,392
AND I'VE BEEN LYING
TO MY SON ABOUT THIS.
236
00:10:50,427 --> 00:10:53,828
PLEASE PROMISE ME
YOU WON'T TELL HIM.
237
00:10:53,864 --> 00:10:57,164
JUST WHEN I THINK I'M OUT...
238
00:10:57,199 --> 00:11:00,134
THEY PULL ME BACK IN!
239
00:11:03,540 --> 00:11:06,006
MR. BERGEN, YOU'RE
A HARVARD LAWYER.
240
00:11:06,042 --> 00:11:09,444
WHY ARE YOU WORKING THE
FAIR CIRCUIT? SIT DOWN, PETE.
241
00:11:09,479 --> 00:11:10,989
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE
SPORT? BASKETBALL.
242
00:11:11,013 --> 00:11:12,780
PLAY TENNIS? NOT REALLY.
243
00:11:12,816 --> 00:11:14,393
HOW ABOUT BADMINTON? NO...
244
00:11:14,417 --> 00:11:17,152
OH, MR. BERGEN, DON'T DRAW ME.
245
00:11:17,187 --> 00:11:19,420
OH, MAN!
246
00:11:21,157 --> 00:11:22,223
OH, I GET IT.
247
00:11:22,258 --> 00:11:24,692
YOU CAN'T TELL ME
248
00:11:24,728 --> 00:11:26,894
BECAUSE YOU'RE ACTUALLY HERE
249
00:11:26,929 --> 00:11:29,263
GATHERING EVIDENCE FOR A CASE.
250
00:11:29,298 --> 00:11:33,167
TELL ME YOU'RE GATHERING
EVIDENCE FOR A CASE.
251
00:11:33,202 --> 00:11:38,105
I LEFT THE LAW TO PURSUE
MY PASSION FOR ART.
252
00:11:38,140 --> 00:11:40,674
ART?
253
00:11:40,710 --> 00:11:44,812
BIG HEADS ON LITTLE
BODIES IS NOT ART.
254
00:11:44,847 --> 00:11:47,448
WELL, I'M HAVING
THE TIME OF MY LIFE.
255
00:11:47,483 --> 00:11:48,594
THEN WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD BERG?
256
00:11:48,618 --> 00:11:51,519
COME ON! YOU KNOW THAT FICUS
257
00:11:51,555 --> 00:11:54,088
DREAMT OF FOLLOWING
IN MY FOOTSTEPS,
258
00:11:54,123 --> 00:11:56,658
AND YOU GOTTA HELP ME
HIDE THE TRUTH FROM HIM.
259
00:11:56,693 --> 00:11:59,794
OH, NO. JUST UNTIL HE GRADUATES.
260
00:11:59,829 --> 00:12:02,197
NO, NO. MR. BERGEN,
I'M NOT GOOD AT THIS.
261
00:12:02,232 --> 00:12:04,866
NONSENSE!
262
00:12:04,901 --> 00:12:07,601
NOW, HERE YOU GO, PETE.
263
00:12:07,637 --> 00:12:10,805
MY EARS ARE NOT THAT BIG.
264
00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:14,386
SKETCH ARTIST? YEAH, YEAH.
265
00:12:14,410 --> 00:12:16,744
HE'S RIGHT DOWN THERE.
266
00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:19,247
LOOK.
267
00:12:19,282 --> 00:12:21,060
WOW. HE REALLY NAILED YOUR EARS.
268
00:12:21,084 --> 00:12:22,528
HE DID NOT NAIL MY EARS!
269
00:12:22,552 --> 00:12:25,753
HA HA! YOU GOTTA
LOVE THOSE BERGENS.
270
00:12:25,789 --> 00:12:28,689
THIS IS SICK. THAT'S PERFECT.
271
00:12:28,724 --> 00:12:31,025
WHAT'S SO PERFECT ABOUT IT?
272
00:12:31,061 --> 00:12:33,128
PETE DUNVILLE IS
GONNA SAVE THE DAY.
273
00:12:33,163 --> 00:12:35,696
OH, PETE... DON'T.
274
00:12:35,732 --> 00:12:37,198
DUCK!
275
00:12:38,401 --> 00:12:41,469
I INVITE MR. BERGEN
OVER TO THE APARTMENT.
276
00:12:41,504 --> 00:12:44,772
I TELL THEM THAT THEY BOTH HAVE
SOMETHING THEY NEED TO SAY TO EACH OTHER.
277
00:12:44,808 --> 00:12:46,207
"DAD, I'M NOT IN LAW SCHOOL."
278
00:12:46,242 --> 00:12:48,742
"MIKE, I PLAY WITH
CRAYONS IN THE PARK."
279
00:12:48,778 --> 00:12:50,945
EVERYONE HUGS.
280
00:12:50,980 --> 00:12:52,780
IT'D BE A REAL OPRAH MOMENT.
281
00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:56,450
DUCK!
282
00:12:56,486 --> 00:12:57,864
DID THEY ASK FOR YOUR HELP?
283
00:12:57,888 --> 00:13:00,588
NOT IN SO MANY WORDS.
284
00:13:00,623 --> 00:13:03,958
BUT OBVIOUSLY,
THEY NEED TO TALK.
285
00:13:03,993 --> 00:13:05,538
I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT
WE DO IN MY FAMILY.
286
00:13:05,562 --> 00:13:06,939
WE GET IT OUT. WE
TALK. IT'S HEALTHY.
287
00:13:06,963 --> 00:13:10,465
BUT, PETE, JUST BECAUSE
IT WORKS FOR YOUR FAMILY,
288
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:11,644
DOESN'T MEAN IT
WORKS FOR EVERYONE.
289
00:13:11,668 --> 00:13:13,100
IT'S LIKE THIS STUFF.
290
00:13:13,136 --> 00:13:14,969
YOU POUR IT DOWN YOUR SINK,
291
00:13:15,004 --> 00:13:16,081
IT UNCLOGS THE DRAIN.
292
00:13:16,105 --> 00:13:18,372
YOU POUR IT IN A POND,
293
00:13:18,407 --> 00:13:21,041
YOU'VE GOT FISH WITH FEET.
294
00:13:21,077 --> 00:13:22,910
LOOK, I GOTTA DO SOMETHING.
295
00:13:22,946 --> 00:13:24,890
YEAH, YOU DO. STAY OUT OF IT.
296
00:13:24,914 --> 00:13:26,047
YOU KNOW WHAT, SHARON?
297
00:13:26,082 --> 00:13:27,682
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
298
00:13:36,359 --> 00:13:37,859
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME TO DUCK?
299
00:13:37,894 --> 00:13:40,161
HEY, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
300
00:13:46,636 --> 00:13:47,902
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
301
00:13:47,937 --> 00:13:50,104
AND THAT WOULD BE YOUR DAD.
302
00:13:50,140 --> 00:13:52,207
WHAT? HOW DO YOU KNOW?
303
00:13:52,242 --> 00:13:54,252
I TOLD HIM TO STOP BY
HERE BEFORE DINNER.
304
00:13:54,276 --> 00:13:57,745
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE UP TO, PETE,
305
00:13:57,781 --> 00:14:00,621
BUT ONE WORD OUT OF YOU, AND I'M
SHOWING MR. BAUER SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
306
00:14:00,650 --> 00:14:03,751
AND INVITING HIM OVER TO DINNER.
307
00:14:05,054 --> 00:14:07,087
LOOK, HE HAS
SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.
308
00:14:07,123 --> 00:14:08,200
JUST... TRUST ME.
309
00:14:08,224 --> 00:14:10,758
[KNOCKING] WHAT IS IT?
310
00:14:10,794 --> 00:14:12,327
LET HIM TELL YOU.
311
00:14:12,362 --> 00:14:14,462
I THINK HE'LL PAINT
A BETTER PICTURE.
312
00:14:16,433 --> 00:14:19,467
COME ON IN, MR. BERGEN.
313
00:14:19,502 --> 00:14:20,802
MIKE.
314
00:14:20,837 --> 00:14:22,169
DAD.
315
00:14:22,205 --> 00:14:23,304
HAVE A SEAT.
316
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:24,817
UH, WE'VE GOT AN
8:00 RESERVATION.
317
00:14:24,841 --> 00:14:26,284
YEAH. WE DON'T WANNA
LOSE THAT TABLE.
318
00:14:26,308 --> 00:14:28,876
NO. THIS WON'T
TAKE LONG. IT'S OK.
319
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:30,978
OK, NOW, UM...
320
00:14:31,013 --> 00:14:35,316
YOU BOTH HAVE SOMETHING THAT
YOU NEED TO SAY TO ONE ANOTHER.
321
00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:40,354
NOW IS THE TIME TO SAY IT.
322
00:14:42,592 --> 00:14:44,792
IT'S OK.
323
00:14:44,828 --> 00:14:46,393
TALK.
324
00:14:48,431 --> 00:14:51,499
I'LL BE IN MY ROOM WHERE
I CAN'T HEAR A THING.
325
00:14:59,943 --> 00:15:01,587
SO... HOW WAS YOUR MEETING?
326
00:15:01,611 --> 00:15:04,712
OH... IT WAS FINE.
HOW WAS CLASS?
327
00:15:04,748 --> 00:15:05,813
GOOD.
328
00:15:05,848 --> 00:15:07,315
GOOD, GOOD.
329
00:15:07,350 --> 00:15:09,262
SO YOU HAD SOMETHING
YOU WANTED TO TELL ME.
330
00:15:09,286 --> 00:15:11,786
WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO FIRST.
331
00:15:11,821 --> 00:15:12,853
OK.
332
00:15:12,889 --> 00:15:16,202
WELL, UH... IT'S
REALLY NO BIG DEAL,
333
00:15:16,226 --> 00:15:17,758
BUT, UH...
334
00:15:21,197 --> 00:15:23,897
I GUESS I'M SORRY I
NEVER FOLLOWED THROUGH
335
00:15:23,933 --> 00:15:26,834
WITH THOSE BANJO LESSONS.
336
00:15:28,237 --> 00:15:30,538
WELL, I THINK WHAT
I HAVE TO TELL YOU
337
00:15:30,573 --> 00:15:33,774
WILL PUT ALL THAT
IN PERSPECTIVE.
338
00:15:33,809 --> 00:15:35,509
ABOUT 6 MONTHS AGO,
339
00:15:35,545 --> 00:15:39,680
I WAS DRIVING HOME AFTER
A HELLISH DAY IN COURT,
340
00:15:39,715 --> 00:15:44,485
AND AS I WAS PULLING
INTO THE GARAGE...
341
00:15:46,755 --> 00:15:48,222
I RAN OVER YOUR BANJO.
342
00:15:52,862 --> 00:15:55,163
OH.
343
00:15:55,198 --> 00:15:57,243
WELL, I'M GLAD WE HAD
THIS TALK. LET'S EAT.
344
00:15:57,267 --> 00:15:59,278
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
345
00:15:59,302 --> 00:16:01,113
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
346
00:16:01,137 --> 00:16:02,881
WHAT, YOU WERE EAVESDROPPING?
347
00:16:02,905 --> 00:16:04,238
IT'S THOSE BIG EARS.
348
00:16:04,274 --> 00:16:07,709
THEY'RE NOT BIG!
349
00:16:07,744 --> 00:16:09,555
HE HASN'T BEEN IN LAW
SCHOOL FOR OVER 2 YEARS.
350
00:16:09,579 --> 00:16:10,912
WHAT?!
351
00:16:10,947 --> 00:16:14,782
YEAH, AND HE QUIT THE LAW TO
DRAW CARICATURES IN THE PARK.
352
00:16:14,818 --> 00:16:16,351
WHAT?!
353
00:16:16,386 --> 00:16:18,752
THERE! NOW, DON'T
YOU FEEL BETTER?
354
00:16:21,123 --> 00:16:22,590
I KNOW I DO.
355
00:16:22,625 --> 00:16:24,625
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU LEFT THE FIRM.
356
00:16:24,660 --> 00:16:27,961
WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK
WHEN I GRADUATE LAW SCHOOL?
357
00:16:27,997 --> 00:16:30,008
YOU'RE NOT IN LAW SCHOOL.
358
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:32,466
YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT, YOU...
359
00:16:32,502 --> 00:16:36,237
YOU... CARICATURIST.
360
00:16:36,272 --> 00:16:38,005
I AM A SKETCH ARTIST!
361
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,451
I THOUGHT YOU WERE A LAWYER.
362
00:16:39,475 --> 00:16:40,952
WELL, I THOUGHT YOU
WERE A LAW STUDENT.
363
00:16:40,976 --> 00:16:42,421
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN
DOING THE LAST 2 YEARS?
364
00:16:42,445 --> 00:16:44,055
I'VE BEEN A PHILOSOPHY MAJOR.
365
00:16:44,079 --> 00:16:45,713
OH! THAT'S USEFUL!
366
00:16:45,748 --> 00:16:47,826
SEE? THAT'S EXACTLY
WHY I DIDN'T TELL YOU.
367
00:16:47,850 --> 00:16:49,628
I DIDN'T WANNA
DISAPPOINT MY FATHER,
368
00:16:49,652 --> 00:16:51,619
THE WORLD RENOWN SKETCH ARTIST.
369
00:16:51,654 --> 00:16:54,455
SEE? THIS IS WORKING,
THIS IS WORKING.
370
00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:56,023
THIS IS COMMUNICATING.
371
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:58,626
NO, IT'S NOT. IT'S FIGHTING.
372
00:17:00,430 --> 00:17:02,697
I'M DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, PETE.
373
00:17:02,732 --> 00:17:03,842
WHAT? WHAT DID I DO?
374
00:17:03,866 --> 00:17:06,500
I TOLD YOU TO LIE!
CAN'T I TRUST YOU?
375
00:17:06,536 --> 00:17:09,537
I TOLD HIM TO LIE TO YOU, TOO.
376
00:17:09,572 --> 00:17:11,805
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
377
00:17:13,676 --> 00:17:16,878
I TOLD YOU, I WASN'T
GOOD AT THIS!
378
00:17:16,913 --> 00:17:18,679
KEEP IT DOWN!
379
00:17:18,714 --> 00:17:20,414
KEEP IT DOWN!
380
00:17:20,449 --> 00:17:21,593
WE'RE HARDLY YELLING.
381
00:17:21,617 --> 00:17:24,819
NO. ME. I CAN'T KEEP IT DOWN.
382
00:17:24,854 --> 00:17:25,898
SHARON. YOU OK?
383
00:17:25,922 --> 00:17:27,822
YOU GUYS, GET ME TO A DOCTOR.
384
00:17:27,857 --> 00:17:29,668
WHERE'S YOUR CAR?
AROUND THE CORNER.
385
00:17:29,692 --> 00:17:31,626
OOH! I THINK I'M GONNA BOOT.
386
00:17:36,799 --> 00:17:40,801
BERG... YOU CAN HAVE MY STEREO.
387
00:17:40,836 --> 00:17:45,472
PETE... YOU CAN HAVE MY DRESSER.
388
00:17:46,475 --> 00:17:48,756
I DON'T WANT YOUR DRESSER.
389
00:17:50,246 --> 00:17:53,480
WHY DOES HE GET THE STEREO?
390
00:17:55,017 --> 00:17:56,450
OK. THERE YOU GO.
391
00:17:56,486 --> 00:17:59,787
COMPLIMENTS OF THE HOUSE.
392
00:18:00,857 --> 00:18:02,756
I DON'T PLAY TENNIS.
393
00:18:07,997 --> 00:18:10,731
MIKE, UH, TAKE A LOOK.
394
00:18:11,767 --> 00:18:13,434
SURE.
395
00:18:14,737 --> 00:18:16,203
OH, DAD.
396
00:18:16,238 --> 00:18:20,173
OK. I KNOW IT SEEMS
STRANGE, BUT...
397
00:18:20,209 --> 00:18:22,510
YOU SPEND 30 YEARS
ARGUING IN COURT,
398
00:18:22,545 --> 00:18:25,513
AND EVERY DAY, CLIENTS
ARE STARING AT YOU,
399
00:18:25,548 --> 00:18:27,648
THEIR LIVES IN
YOUR HANDS, AND...
400
00:18:27,683 --> 00:18:28,849
YOU START DOODLING.
401
00:18:30,786 --> 00:18:32,653
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?
402
00:18:32,689 --> 00:18:34,689
WELL, I THOUGHT IT
WOULD THROW YOU.
403
00:18:34,724 --> 00:18:38,626
I THOUGHT YOU
WANTED TO BE A LAWYER.
404
00:18:38,661 --> 00:18:40,127
NO, DAD.
405
00:18:40,163 --> 00:18:42,529
YOU WANTED ME TO BE A LAWYER.
406
00:18:42,564 --> 00:18:45,966
I WAS THE ONLY KID
IN FOURTH GRADE
407
00:18:46,002 --> 00:18:48,803
WITH A 12 ANGRY MEN LUNCHBOX.
408
00:18:48,838 --> 00:18:52,740
ALL I EVER WANTED WAS
FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY.
409
00:18:52,775 --> 00:18:55,676
SO YOU'RE NOT
TOTALLY DISAPPOINTED?
410
00:18:55,711 --> 00:18:59,146
LOOK, IF YOU DON'T
WANT TO PRACTICE LAW,
411
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:00,848
THAT'S FINE WITH ME.
412
00:19:00,883 --> 00:19:03,028
BUT YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING.
413
00:19:03,052 --> 00:19:04,585
AND, MY GOD, SON,
414
00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:08,722
YOU'RE CAPABLE
OF DOING ANYTHING.
415
00:19:08,757 --> 00:19:10,524
WELL, YOU KNOW...
416
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:14,662
JUST STOP SCREWING AROUND.
417
00:19:14,697 --> 00:19:16,430
MEANWHILE, HOW DOES
MOM FEEL ABOUT ALL THIS?
418
00:19:16,466 --> 00:19:17,843
WELL, YOUR MOTHER'S A TROOPER.
419
00:19:17,867 --> 00:19:18,966
YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HER.
420
00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:19,967
YOU TELL HER ABOUT LAW SCHOOL?
421
00:19:20,002 --> 00:19:21,034
WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY?
422
00:19:21,070 --> 00:19:23,430
NO REASON TO UPSET HER. DEAL.
423
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:27,275
YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA
GO OVER TO TRAUMA,
424
00:19:27,310 --> 00:19:30,322
SEE IF I CAN FIND ANYBODY WHO
PLAYS BADMINTON OR TENNIS.
425
00:19:30,346 --> 00:19:31,679
GO GET 'EM, DAD.
426
00:19:33,616 --> 00:19:36,584
OK, SHARON, WHAT DID YOU EAT?
427
00:19:36,619 --> 00:19:40,120
A WHOLE BUNCH OF
SYNTHETIC CANDY BARS.
428
00:19:40,156 --> 00:19:42,200
DOCTORS, WHAT IS THE
COURSE OF TREATMENT?
429
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,002
PUMP HER STOMACH.
PUMP HER STOMACH.
430
00:19:44,026 --> 00:19:45,392
Doctor: RIGHT.
431
00:19:46,896 --> 00:19:49,330
UHHH!
432
00:19:53,469 --> 00:19:54,734
YOU OK?
433
00:19:54,770 --> 00:19:57,471
WHAT DO I DO, PETE?
434
00:19:57,506 --> 00:19:59,105
NOW THAT I'M NOT BEING A LAWYER,
435
00:19:59,141 --> 00:20:00,207
WHAT COMES NEXT?
436
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:02,220
YOU? WHAT ABOUT
ME? WHAT'S THIS MEAN?
437
00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:04,189
AFTER 30 YEARS OF
BEING AN ARCHITECT,
438
00:20:04,213 --> 00:20:07,815
I'M GONNA MELT DOWN
AND BECOME A JUGGLER?
439
00:20:07,850 --> 00:20:08,882
NO.
440
00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:13,787
I SEE YOU... GUESSING
PEOPLE'S WEIGHT.
441
00:20:13,823 --> 00:20:18,192
OK. NOW, THE NASAL
GASTRIC TUBE IS IN PLACE.
442
00:20:18,227 --> 00:20:20,995
WE HIT THE SWITCH
AND LET 'ER RIP.
443
00:20:21,030 --> 00:20:22,596
[SUCTION]
444
00:20:22,632 --> 00:20:24,865
OOH! I'LL BE RIGHT HERE.
445
00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:28,769
OUTSTANDING!
446
00:20:28,804 --> 00:20:30,538
SO TELL ME, DOCTORS,
447
00:20:30,573 --> 00:20:33,552
IF MISS CARTER HERE WERE
TO CONTINUE HER CURRENT DIET,
448
00:20:33,576 --> 00:20:36,896
WHAT TYPE OF ULCEROUS
BACTERIA WOULD SHE DEVELOP?
449
00:20:37,579 --> 00:20:38,746
ANYONE?
450
00:20:38,781 --> 00:20:42,282
HALICOPACTER PYLORI,
PROBABLY IN THE DUODENUM.
451
00:20:44,687 --> 00:20:47,788
BOSTON JOURNAL OF
MEDICINE CROSSWORD PUZZLE,
452
00:20:47,823 --> 00:20:49,657
4 DOWN. OH.
453
00:20:51,527 --> 00:20:53,927
THAT'S VERY GOOD, DOCTOR...
454
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,232
BERGEN.
455
00:20:59,502 --> 00:21:01,413
DR. BERGEN. VERY GOOD.
456
00:21:01,437 --> 00:21:04,405
PLEASE FOLLOW ME TO I.C.U.
457
00:21:06,909 --> 00:21:08,809
LOOK, PETE.
458
00:21:08,844 --> 00:21:13,480
PRETTY GIRLS... PAJAMAS...
459
00:21:21,958 --> 00:21:24,998
SO WHAT IS THE PROGNOSIS
FOR THIS PATIENT?
460
00:21:26,428 --> 00:21:28,028
AURICULAR DIMINUTION.
461
00:21:28,063 --> 00:21:30,730
MOST COMMONLY KNOWN AS?
462
00:21:30,766 --> 00:21:33,034
EAR REDUCTION. EAR REDUCTION.
463
00:21:33,069 --> 00:21:34,801
THEY'RE NOT THAT BIG!
31871
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