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1
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Sharon!
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Look how cute she looks!
3
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All sorts of cute
4
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Yeah, go away
5
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Why? We haven't done anything yet
6
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Yeah, that's why I want you inside
7
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See there's this guy who jogs past here every night, dark hair, nice smile?
8
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Oh, do you know who I'm talking about?
9
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Oh, oh, oh? no!
10
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Well, we haven't actually spoken, but we have this incredible eye contact thing.
Oh, great eyes
11
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That's his name?
12
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Great Eyes?
13
00:00:36,826 --> 00:00:38,786
You're dating an Indian Chief?
14
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Ooh, here he comes! Get, get, get, I don't want to be associated with you guys!
15
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- Fine!
- Yeah, be that way
16
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Ah, God! I have got to get some female friends!
17
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Alright Bill, what's the deal with putting the chairs on the tables every night, I mean, is it just a restaurant thing or what?
18
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It makes it easier for you guys to mop up, genius
19
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We're supposed to mop?
20
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Pete
21
00:01:28,582 --> 00:01:31,960
Have you ever wondered where they manufacture these napkin dispensers?
22
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- Never, Mr Bauer, not once
- Greenbay, Wisconsin
23
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Really?
24
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Of course I'll tell you how I know
25
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I used to live in Greenbay, while I played for Vince and the Packers,
26
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On the frozen tundra of Lambofield
27
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Oh, no. You got the classic sports channel
28
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I say if we don't stop their running game, they're gonna pass on us all day
29
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I gotta blitz
30
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Where the hell is my blocking?
31
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- Hey Mr Bauer! Hey Berg!
- Melissa, I now lead the Pizza Place in sacks
32
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Yay Bauer!
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- Hey sweetie! Oh, I am so nervous. I mean this is their first play, ya know?
-Oh come on. It's gonna be great. Kindergarteners doing 'Hair', how can it miss?"
34
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How much do I love you!
35
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- Alright, I'm outta here
- Yeah, me too.Bye Bill
36
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Oh, hold on, we've got one more delivery
37
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I have to meet Bernie and Fitz at the gym at nine. We're watching intermediate aerobics
38
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Come on Berg, just go to the ten o'clock session
39
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That's advanced aerobics
40
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Any girl with that kind of discipline, totally wrong for me
41
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You know, maybe I should just call them up and have them pick up their own pizza
44
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Pete, we're gonna be late
45
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- Don't worry honey, I'll make it there in time for the show
- Okay, you are being this wrong
46
00:03:09,799 --> 00:03:11,843
What's with you and 845 Arlington?
47
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Nothing
48
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Oh, who are you kidding, huh?
Every time 845 Arlington orders a pizza, you run out of here like you're dropping off a donor heart
49
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What is this guy, some sort of big tipper?
50
00:03:25,647 --> 00:03:28,150
- No
- You know, you're gonna miss the Gingerbread Parade
51
00:03:30,151 --> 00:03:30,777
While it's hot guys
52
00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:34,405
-I'm on it. You kids have fun now.
- Thanks you to
53
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:37,325
- Oh and Melissa?
- What's that Berg?
54
00:03:37,825 --> 00:03:43,455
Boogy-oogy-oogy until you just can't boogy no more
55
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Great! Come on
56
00:03:49,085 --> 00:03:50,086
You know Bill, I?
57
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That's it Berg, way to hold on to that pizza
58
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- Pizza delivery
- Pete? Come on in sweetie
59
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Sweetie?
60
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Don't I know you?
61
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Wait till you see?oh, hi. You're not Pete
62
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I can be Pete
63
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I was Pete for Halloween one year
64
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Where is he?
65
00:04:37,380 --> 00:04:41,759
Ah, he had to go to a play with his girl?scout troop
66
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He's very involved with the community
67
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Pete's such a doll
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Yep, yep, yep
69
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Pete's the best
70
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He really is
71
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This is an interesting brush stroke.What do you use?
72
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- My naked body
- Really?
73
00:05:09,326 --> 00:05:11,202
Because we need our apartment painted
74
00:05:14,289 --> 00:05:20,127
Why use a brush when you have your toes, your thighs, your breasts
75
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You paint with your?toes?
76
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I find it connects me to the canvas
77
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- I know it sounds crazy
- No, no, not at all
78
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I used to be quite the finger painter myself
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I really should get back to work
80
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Thanks for the pizza
81
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You better watch it with these things
82
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Or you'll need a bigger canvas
83
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Oh my GOD!
84
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You tell Pete I'm sorry I missed him
85
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Oh I can't wait to tell him
86
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You know the only reason I order from this place is to see him
87
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- Bye
- Bye
88
00:06:21,225 --> 00:06:23,936
OH MY GOD!
89
00:06:28,899 --> 00:06:39,158
I mean even considering the dysfunctional dynamic of Pete and Melissa's relationship, you know, on again, off again, on again,
do you think Pete would cheat on Melissa?
90
00:06:39,617 --> 00:06:40,951
No, not at all
91
00:06:41,744 --> 00:06:45,038
Will you stop thinking about Great Eyes! This is important
92
00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:47,541
What makes you think Pete's cheating on Melissa?
93
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He's been making like he's this good guy;
94
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'No, I'll stay late and take last delivery'
95
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Which usually happens to be 845 Arlington. But tonight, I made the delivery, and BOY you would not believe this woman
96
00:07:03,222 --> 00:07:08,310
Well, wait, just because Pete brings her pizza doesn't mean he's delivering the sausage
97
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I never want to forget that you said that
98
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Hey there
99
00:07:18,361 --> 00:07:19,236
Hey
100
00:07:19,820 --> 00:07:25,450
How was the play?
Oh good, good. It was a little odd seeing two six year old girls singing 'Black Boys are Delicious'
101
00:07:25,742 --> 00:07:29,246
But overall, it was good, good.
102
00:07:30,497 --> 00:07:33,333
Oh hey.Did you take care of that delivery?
103
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Delivery?
104
00:07:36,294 --> 00:07:38,546
Umm, 845 Arlington?
105
00:07:39,088 --> 00:07:51,808
- 845 Arlington, 845 Arlington?oh yeah, yeah, YEAH. Went well
- Great, great, great.Goog, good, good
106
00:07:52,809 --> 00:07:55,144
Okay.Well, I'm beat, gonna head in
107
00:07:55,853 --> 00:07:57,230
- Oh, hey Pete?
- Yeah?
108
00:07:59,231 --> 00:08:01,192
How do you scrape all that paint off your ass?
109
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-See, damn it I knew you were gonna think that!
- I can't believe you didn't tell me
110
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- Pete, you filthy pig
- No guys, it's not what you think
111
00:08:12,577 --> 00:08:17,415
- Then why didn't you tell me about her?
- Because of this very conversation, that's why. Look, it's completely platonic
112
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There is no way you can be just friends with someone that hot
113
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:31,386
I mean it's physically impossible for a man to be platonic with a woman that sexy."
114
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,680
- Uh, hello!
-What?
115
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- You don't count!
- Why not?
116
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:41,439
Because. Because you transcend sex
117
00:08:43,315 --> 00:08:49,780
- Anyway, Isabella and I, we just?
- Wait, wait, wait. Transcend sex? What does that mean, transcend sex?
118
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- I don't know Sharon, it means you're Sharon
- No, no, no, I know exactly what it means, it means that I am not hot, I repel men and I am sexless!
119
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AAAH! No, no, no, wait! You're taking out of context!
120
00:09:08,424 --> 00:09:09,592
-So what else?
- What else what?
121
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What else don't you tell me about this secret life you lead Peter,
if that's even you real name!
122
00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:21,187
- Alright, okay, cut it out
- Hey, I tell you everything
123
00:09:21,354 --> 00:09:23,064
Yeah, and I've asked you to stop!
124
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:30,321
Listen to me very carefully, okay? There is nothing between me and Isabella
125
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:33,324
- And besides, I'm with Melissa, right?
- Right
126
00:09:33,491 --> 00:09:34,909
Right
127
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,746
So then you wouldn't mind if I asked Isabella out
128
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:48,422
No of course not. Go for it. I just don't think you'd like her
129
00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:50,841
Really? Why's that?
130
00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:55,429
You know, I gotta tell you, she's kind of a nut
131
00:09:57,848 --> 00:09:59,392
Boy, I didn't get that at all
132
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That's cause you only spent a few minutes with her,
but once you get to know her, she's compulsive, possessive, delusional?
133
00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:10,444
it's actually quite sad
134
00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:15,491
Wow, that's funny. She only said really nice things about you
135
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:18,911
Really?
136
00:10:20,705 --> 00:10:21,247
What did she say?
137
00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:25,126
Well for one. She only orders from us so she can see you
138
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,337
- She said that?
- Yep
139
00:10:31,382 --> 00:10:33,718
- No kidding?
- But if she's a nut?
140
00:10:34,010 --> 00:10:35,052
Ah, total nut
141
00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:40,307
- Then I guess I won't give her a call
- I mean, it would be for the best
142
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:45,980
Feel again,But then sometimes, you feel like a nut
143
00:10:50,276 --> 00:10:51,360
Forget about it Berg
144
00:10:52,153 --> 00:10:54,030
Give me the phone Pete
145
00:10:55,239 --> 00:10:56,991
I mean, you're my boy
146
00:10:58,159 --> 00:11:03,289
I don't want to hurt you, you know it's good, but you're being crazy, ya know
147
00:11:05,458 --> 00:11:07,001
Don't go?stay
148
00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:09,670
Who is that?
149
00:11:09,570 --> 00:11:11,630
Christopher Walken
150
00:11:12,006 --> 00:11:16,010
Or actually it's me doing an impression of Bernie's impression of Christopher Walken
151
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:20,848
-It's terrible
- Bernie's is terrible, mine's right on
152
00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:25,603
Give me her number Berg
153
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:27,730
- You have a girlfriend
-So?
154
00:11:28,147 --> 00:11:35,863
So. The rules state that you can only protect one girl at a time, and right now you've got Melissa?
You know, you're girlfriend
155
00:11:36,405 --> 00:11:38,115
Melissa has nothing to do with this
156
00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:45,456
Of course she doesn't. In fact for your anniversary, Isabella could paint Melissa's portrait with her right breast
157
00:11:47,083 --> 00:11:49,126
Berg, what makes you think that Isabella's even into you?
158
00:11:55,633 --> 00:11:56,967
Yeah, right
159
00:11:57,176 --> 00:11:59,595
Look, there's only one way to solve this
160
00:11:59,804 --> 00:12:00,638
The tribunal
161
00:12:00,930 --> 00:12:04,767
-The tribunal. Get the robe
- You think I won't?
162
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:11,732
Sharon! Come down. We need you
163
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,360
And be quick about it!
164
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:17,738
Hello?
165
00:12:19,365 --> 00:12:21,283
How does that make you sound like a hooker?
166
00:12:22,076 --> 00:12:25,121
Oh, by the way, it'll be me AND my buddy
167
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:32,461
She's on her way. Okay, help me understand this sick need of yours to ask out Isabella
168
00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:37,591
Because she's perfect for me. She likes art, she likes pizza, she works NAKED!
169
00:12:38,676 --> 00:12:39,844
Berg, forget it!
170
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:51,564
Oh, forget it, you know, I can't do that, no, it's no good, you know I want to, but the time?
is past
171
00:12:53,566 --> 00:13:01,657
It's just, it's not good! You know, I mean I know you think it sounds good, but?arrggh
172
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:05,077
What?
173
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:06,537
The tribunal
174
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:11,917
Oh my God! The robe!
175
00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:19,133
Oh you remember graduation where I hid those beers around my waist like sticks of dynamite and we were all gonna go to that party?
177
00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:29,226
Fine! Alright, opening statements
178
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:36,025
Look.I've known this woman for five months now and Berg thinks he can just waltz right in there and close the deal
179
00:13:36,484 --> 00:13:41,072
I object! Close the deal?
180
00:13:41,906 --> 00:13:45,409
I would like to apologise for his attitude towards women
181
00:13:45,743 --> 00:13:49,914
Right. This coming from a guy with a VIP card at 'Topless, Topless, Topless'
182
00:13:51,791 --> 00:13:53,668
They have an excellent wine list
183
00:13:54,585 --> 00:13:57,630
Look, all I'm asking is that Berg stays away from Isabella
184
00:13:57,838 --> 00:14:05,054
Peet.I believe precedent was set sophomore year in the case of Pete Dunville versus Berg and the Red Lobster girl
185
00:14:05,429 --> 00:14:07,932
Now the rule is you can only protect one girl
186
00:14:08,391 --> 00:14:10,601
I, ah, told him that Your Blondeness
187
00:14:10,768 --> 00:14:12,436
See, do you think it's too light?
188
00:14:13,521 --> 00:14:25,157
Alright, look, I love Melissa and everything's great right now, but,
I mean, who knows, you know, things change, and what if things don't work out, then what?
189
00:14:26,242 --> 00:14:29,787
What are you saying Pete? That this Isabella is your back-up girl?
190
00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:34,375
Back-up girl? You make it sound so ugly
191
00:14:35,835 --> 00:14:41,424
He's right. How about the girl I'm seeing behind my girlfriend's back!
192
00:14:41,966 --> 00:14:45,261
- I'm not seeing her
- Okay, okay, Pete come on
193
00:14:45,511 --> 00:14:51,434
- You're panicking. You've hit the one year mark with Melissa, things are great and you're panicking
- I'm not panicking, I'm planning
194
00:14:52,852 --> 00:14:54,812
- Why can't guys just commit?
- Here, here!
195
00:14:55,146 --> 00:14:56,647
Shut up..
196
00:14:58,691 --> 00:15:02,945
- You have never had a serious relationship in your life
- Nor have I pretended to
197
00:15:03,779 --> 00:15:05,156
- Alright, alright
198
00:15:06,741 --> 00:15:24,300
Pete, if your heart is in the right place with Melissa, then Berg going out with Miss-Too-Sexy-Too-Be-Friends-With shouldn't bother you. As much as I hate to, I rule in favor of?Berg
199
00:15:24,592 --> 00:15:27,261
- What?
- Sorry Pete, either commit, or get off the pot
200
00:15:28,012 --> 00:15:32,433
-That's not fair
- Hey, hey, hey. Her Legginess has ruled
201
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:42,943
Alright, last delivery. 845 Arlington
202
00:15:44,028 --> 00:15:44,904
I'll do it
203
00:15:46,364 --> 00:15:48,741
- No, that's okay, I've got it
- What is wrong with you two?
204
00:15:50,159 --> 00:15:52,286
Oh, you're lucky you didn't upset my cheese
205
00:15:54,413 --> 00:15:57,750
- Deliver the damn pizza
- See, Bill wants me to take it
206
00:15:58,334 --> 00:15:59,585
Fine, go ahead
207
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:01,295
Really?
208
00:16:01,671 --> 00:16:02,588
Be my guest
209
00:16:03,214 --> 00:16:04,048
Okay
210
00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:08,302
- Hey, how'd Melissa take it?
- What?
211
00:16:08,886 --> 00:16:10,888
Oh, I just assumed you ended it with her
212
00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:16,686
Alright Berg, you win
213
00:16:17,603 --> 00:16:20,564
I'm doing this for you AND Melissa
214
00:16:21,524 --> 00:16:23,150
AND to get covered in paint
215
00:16:23,818 --> 00:16:25,569
If it happens along the way, sure
216
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:31,450
Hey, Berg. She loves it when I bring over freshly grated parmisan
217
00:16:32,618 --> 00:16:36,455
Really?thankyou
218
00:16:43,462 --> 00:16:46,549
Football is a lot like life
219
00:16:46,632 --> 00:16:50,553
- Oh, Mr Bauer, I beg you
- Pete
220
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:53,347
You've gotta tackle your fears head on.
221
00:16:54,098 --> 00:16:59,270
What we do here, today, on this field will affect the way we live the rest of our lives!
222
00:17:03,149 --> 00:17:04,275
- You know, Mr Bauer?
- Yes
223
00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:05,818
I do know Mr Bauer
224
00:17:10,990 --> 00:17:13,200
- Tell him he's right
- Now go get em!
225
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:18,205
- What happened? Where's Pete?
- DELIVERY! Delivery?
226
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:23,586
Oh, I don't believe it!
227
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:28,674
'She loves freshly grated parmisan.' Moron! OH!"
228
00:17:29,759 --> 00:17:31,927
Great to see you too Berg. Where's Pete?
229
00:17:32,845 --> 00:17:35,348
He's on a delivery
230
00:17:35,806 --> 00:17:37,016
Oh okay, I'll wait
231
00:17:37,391 --> 00:17:40,978
He, uh, might be a while
232
00:17:41,312 --> 00:17:47,318
Oh, it's alright.
I'm gonna surprise him and take him to dinner cause he was so cute at my play last night.
233
00:17:47,568 --> 00:17:54,533
Oh, you should have seen it. He went backstage and asked all of my kids for their autographs
Is that not the best?
234
00:17:54,742 --> 00:17:55,743
Well, that's our Pete
235
00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:57,453
Yeah, that's my Pete
236
00:17:58,287 --> 00:18:06,045
Oh, ah, Melissa?you know?I gotta go. Delivery
237
00:18:06,295 --> 00:18:07,880
Bye!
238
00:18:08,923 --> 00:18:10,883
- Where's Pete?
- Delivery
239
00:18:11,425 --> 00:18:13,636
- Where's Berg?
- Delivery
240
00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:19,517
Why are two guys delivering one pizza, and why is the pizza still here? What the hell happened?
241
00:18:25,940 --> 00:18:26,899
Come in
242
00:18:33,447 --> 00:18:39,203
- You know you really shouldn't just leave the door open like that
- Pete, I was expecting you! I'll be right down
243
00:18:40,830 --> 00:18:42,081
Oh my God
244
00:18:43,124 --> 00:18:46,419
-Hi
- OH my GOD!
245
00:18:49,463 --> 00:18:51,674
Pete, don't you just love candlelight?
246
00:18:52,091 --> 00:18:53,551
I think about it constantly
247
00:18:54,969 --> 00:18:59,140
The way it dances off the walls and makes everything look so beautiful and romantic
248
00:19:04,770 --> 00:19:15,948
- Look, I can't do this. You're great, but I have a girlfriend. And?
-Pete, I?
249
00:19:16,365 --> 00:19:19,410
Ssshhhhhhh?
250
00:19:20,036 --> 00:19:21,329
just let me explain
251
00:19:22,747 --> 00:19:27,335
Her name's Melissa, and while I don't know if she's ultimately 'The One'
252
00:19:28,252 --> 00:19:34,967
I do know that what we do here, you know, on this field
253
00:19:37,928 --> 00:19:45,353
Affects the way we live the rest of our lives?and I don't want to be that kind of person. I'm sorry
254
00:19:45,644 --> 00:19:50,316
- I don't understand. I?
- Oh, I know, I know
255
00:19:52,151 --> 00:19:54,236
- Pete! Pete, don't
- Berg, what are you doing here?
256
00:19:54,904 --> 00:20:00,618
Before you do anything stupid, thought completely understandable
257
00:20:01,452 --> 00:20:04,747
- I have to apologise for forcing you into this situation and I?
- No, no, no Berg
258
00:20:05,498 --> 00:20:10,086
- It's okay. I told Isabella about Melissa
- But I just?
259
00:20:10,336 --> 00:20:12,505
Sssshhhhh?
260
00:20:13,005 --> 00:20:16,050
And if you two wanna go for it, I'm not gonna stand in your way.
261
00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:19,679
Look, this guy is the best, you two would be great for one another.
262
00:20:20,513 --> 00:20:21,847
Do you like Christopher Walken?
263
00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:25,017
Forget it Pete, it's not worth it
264
00:20:25,976 --> 00:20:30,064
We've gotta remember the first rule, which is that no woman comes between us
265
00:20:30,356 --> 00:20:37,571
- Am I missing something?
- Oh, look. I'm sorry. But this is just the way it's gonna have to be
266
00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:50,001
I, ah, think you're gonna have to find yourself a new pizza place
267
00:20:58,592 --> 00:20:59,885
Honey, who was that?
268
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:04,098
- That was just the pizza guys
- Oh great, where's the pizza?
269
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,059
Ah, they didn't bring one
270
00:21:10,855 --> 00:21:12,398
Move
271
00:21:13,274 --> 00:21:14,859
Come on, further
272
00:21:21,198 --> 00:21:22,325
- Hi
- Hi
273
00:21:22,491 --> 00:21:23,826
- I'm Jim
- I'm Sharon
274
00:21:24,910 --> 00:21:26,537
I see you out here a lot
275
00:21:26,996 --> 00:21:30,333
Yeah, you never miss a day. Rain, wind, dark
276
00:21:30,750 --> 00:21:32,460
Yeah, nothing can keep me from running
277
00:21:32,668 --> 00:21:33,502
Really?
278
00:21:34,045 --> 00:21:34,545
''Ahhhh''
23407
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