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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 MAN, BERG'S REALLY BURNING THE MIDNIGHT OIL 2 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 WITH THIS MED SCHOOL THING. 3 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 YEAH. HE'S OBSESSED. 4 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 OK... I NEED TO SEE SOMEBODY'S RECTUM. 5 00:00:04,718 --> 00:00:06,051 FINE. 6 00:00:28,941 --> 00:00:32,043 OH! 7 00:00:32,079 --> 00:00:35,279 BERG, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU INVITED THEM BACK HERE. 8 00:00:35,315 --> 00:00:37,114 IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT. 9 00:00:37,150 --> 00:00:38,190 OH, I HEAR YA. 10 00:00:38,217 --> 00:00:41,953 WE'VE GOT TO SET THE MOOD. 11 00:00:41,988 --> 00:00:44,322 MOOD SET. 12 00:00:45,358 --> 00:00:48,026 BERG, I MEAN US, TONIGHT, AND THESE WOMEN. 13 00:00:48,061 --> 00:00:49,260 EXCUSE ME. 14 00:00:49,296 --> 00:00:52,575 IT IS COMPLETELY RIGHT AND EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED. 15 00:00:52,599 --> 00:00:56,067 WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHAT I NEED. 16 00:00:57,137 --> 00:00:58,703 I'M YOUR DOCTOR. 17 00:00:58,738 --> 00:01:03,274 YOU'RE NOT WELL ENOUGH TO BE ANYONE'S DOCTOR. 18 00:01:03,309 --> 00:01:05,810 AH, NO, THEY FOUND A SPOT. 19 00:01:05,845 --> 00:01:07,356 PETE, THEY MAY CALL IT A STETHOSCOPE, 20 00:01:07,380 --> 00:01:11,383 BUT THIS IS A BABE MAGNET. 21 00:01:11,418 --> 00:01:12,884 OH, MY GOD, HERE THEY COME. 22 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,219 'CAUSE THEY HAVE NO CHOICE. 23 00:01:16,489 --> 00:01:18,456 BERG, BERG, 24 00:01:18,491 --> 00:01:20,992 WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITH 2 WOMEN WE PICKED UP IN A BAR? 25 00:01:21,027 --> 00:01:23,461 DON'T MAKE ME GET MY ANATOMY BOOK. 26 00:01:23,496 --> 00:01:26,564 BERG, WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON WITH THESE WOMEN. 27 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:27,832 I DON'T SEE A FUTURE. 28 00:01:27,868 --> 00:01:28,967 ME NEITHER. 29 00:01:29,002 --> 00:01:32,003 BUT I SEE A REALLY FUN PRESENT. 30 00:01:32,038 --> 00:01:34,083 YA GOTTA LEARN TO GO WITH THE MOMENT. 31 00:01:34,107 --> 00:01:36,741 GOOD, 'CAUSE AT THIS MOMENT I'D LIKE TO GO. 32 00:01:36,777 --> 00:01:38,576 GO? GO WHAT, HUH? 33 00:01:38,611 --> 00:01:40,690 ANOTHER 2 MONTHS WITHOUT A DATE? 34 00:01:40,714 --> 00:01:42,692 IT'S TIME YOU GOT OVER MELISSA. 35 00:01:42,716 --> 00:01:45,650 I'M ONLY DOING THIS FOR YOU. 36 00:01:45,685 --> 00:01:49,888 YOU KNOW, BERG, I'M BUYING, LIKE, A TENTH OF THAT. 37 00:01:49,923 --> 00:01:52,524 I'LL TAKE IT. 38 00:01:52,559 --> 00:01:54,291 HEY, GUYS, I REALLY NEED TO TALK. 39 00:01:54,327 --> 00:01:55,393 ABOUT WHAT? 40 00:01:55,428 --> 00:01:57,461 WELL... TED CALLED ME AGAIN, 41 00:01:57,497 --> 00:01:59,909 AND I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW... NOT NOW, SHAR. 42 00:01:59,933 --> 00:02:02,245 WE GOT A COUPLE OF LIVE ONES COMING UP. 43 00:02:02,269 --> 00:02:04,135 OH, HI. 44 00:02:04,171 --> 00:02:05,570 HI. 45 00:02:05,606 --> 00:02:10,174 THIS... REMINDS ME OF MY SON'S ROOM. 46 00:02:10,210 --> 00:02:12,644 OK, WELL, GUESS I BETTER LEAVE... 47 00:02:12,679 --> 00:02:16,848 NOW THAT THELMA AND LOUISE ARE HERE. 48 00:02:18,952 --> 00:02:20,418 WHO WANTS A DRINK? 49 00:02:20,453 --> 00:02:21,898 - UH, SCOTCH. - VODKA. 50 00:02:21,922 --> 00:02:24,054 OK. 2 BEERS COMING UP. PETE? 51 00:02:24,090 --> 00:02:25,757 UH, NO. I'M GOOD. 52 00:02:25,792 --> 00:02:28,059 SO, UH, WHICH ONE OF YOU LIVES HERE? 53 00:02:28,094 --> 00:02:29,672 UH, BOTH... LIVE HERE. 54 00:02:29,696 --> 00:02:31,174 SHARE... THE APARTMENT. 55 00:02:31,198 --> 00:02:34,365 A DOCTOR AND AN ARCHITECT WHO HAVE TO SHARE AN APARTMENT. 56 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,180 UH, TECHNICALLY, WE'RE STILL IN GRAD SCHOOL. 57 00:02:37,204 --> 00:02:38,035 ACTUALLY, THIS IS JUST 58 00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:41,172 A LITTLE PLACE WE KEEP IN TOWN. 59 00:02:41,207 --> 00:02:43,708 REALLY. WELL, THEN TELL ME, DOC, 60 00:02:43,743 --> 00:02:47,311 WHERE DO YOU LIKE TO SPEND MOST OF YOUR TIME? 61 00:02:47,347 --> 00:02:51,015 I HAVE A LITTLE PLACE JUST NORTH OF HERE CALLED, UH... 62 00:02:51,050 --> 00:02:52,851 MY BEDROOM. 63 00:03:00,660 --> 00:03:03,461 THAT'S, UH, SOCRATES. 64 00:03:04,664 --> 00:03:08,700 MOST PEOPLE THINK IT'S PLATO, BUT... 65 00:03:08,735 --> 00:03:10,468 SOCRATES. 66 00:03:16,676 --> 00:03:18,743 Berg... 67 00:03:20,079 --> 00:03:21,912 BERG. 68 00:03:21,948 --> 00:03:23,548 YES. 69 00:03:23,583 --> 00:03:25,316 WHERE'S VALERIE'S DRINK? 70 00:03:25,351 --> 00:03:26,317 YOU DIDN'T GET HER DRINK. 71 00:03:26,353 --> 00:03:28,353 I MEAN, SHE'S THIRSTY. 72 00:03:28,388 --> 00:03:30,889 HANDLE IT, PETE. 73 00:03:30,924 --> 00:03:33,191 I can't. Berg. I can't handle it. 74 00:03:33,226 --> 00:03:35,160 YOU SAID YOU'D TRY. 75 00:03:39,066 --> 00:03:41,099 LOOK, VALERIE... 76 00:03:42,469 --> 00:03:44,146 I CAN'T MAKE YOU ANY PROMISES. 77 00:03:44,170 --> 00:03:45,870 CLAUDIA... 78 00:03:45,905 --> 00:03:51,042 UH, EVEN IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TONIGHT, UM... 79 00:03:51,077 --> 00:03:54,012 IT DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN THAT, YOU KNOW, 80 00:03:54,047 --> 00:03:56,213 YOU'RE THE ONE. 81 00:03:58,084 --> 00:04:01,453 OK, SO I JUST WANTED TO CLEAR THE AIR 82 00:04:01,488 --> 00:04:05,223 SO NOBODY'S LEADING ANYBODY ON, OK? 83 00:04:05,258 --> 00:04:06,702 NOW, WITH THAT BEING SAID, 84 00:04:06,726 --> 00:04:09,227 I THINK IT'LL MAKE FOR A MUCH MORE FUN EVENING. 85 00:04:12,766 --> 00:04:15,199 I'LL BE IN THE CAR. 86 00:04:16,303 --> 00:04:19,804 COME VISIT ME AT THE BOWLING ALLEY. 87 00:04:23,343 --> 00:04:27,745 YOU... ARE IN DESPERATE NEED OF REPAIR. 88 00:04:30,917 --> 00:04:32,216 YOU SAW THEM, HUH? 89 00:04:32,252 --> 00:04:34,730 THEY WERE THERE, THEY WERE CUTE, AND THEY WERE READY. 90 00:04:34,754 --> 00:04:37,655 YEAH. FOR MENOPAUSE. 91 00:04:38,658 --> 00:04:39,968 THEY WERE NOT THAT OLD, 92 00:04:39,992 --> 00:04:42,638 BUT ALL PERSONAL BITTERNESS ASIDE, PETE BLEW IT. 93 00:04:42,662 --> 00:04:45,096 HEE HEE HEE... IT'S NOT FUNNY. 94 00:04:45,131 --> 00:04:46,330 WHAT IS THE POINT 95 00:04:46,366 --> 00:04:48,466 OF TELLING SOME SCOTCH-SOAKED BROAD 96 00:04:48,501 --> 00:04:49,967 THAT SHE'S NOT THE ONE? 97 00:04:50,003 --> 00:04:51,769 HEE HEE HEE... 98 00:04:51,804 --> 00:04:54,872 BILL, I'M NOT GONNA ASK YOU AGAIN. 99 00:04:54,907 --> 00:04:57,275 WHAT WAS PETE THINKING? 100 00:04:57,310 --> 00:04:59,655 PETE'S GOT TO LEARN THAT WHEN YOU FALL OFF A HORSE, 101 00:04:59,679 --> 00:05:01,479 YOU GOTTA GET RIGHT BACK ON. 102 00:05:01,514 --> 00:05:03,047 EXACTLY RIGHT. 103 00:05:03,082 --> 00:05:05,250 SO WOMEN ARE HORSES? 104 00:05:06,286 --> 00:05:09,287 I GOTTA GO DELIVER THESE SALADS. 105 00:05:09,322 --> 00:05:10,488 FACE IT, BERG, 106 00:05:10,524 --> 00:05:11,934 HE'S NOT JUST GONNA HOP IN THE SACK 107 00:05:11,958 --> 00:05:13,636 WITH SOME BABE HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW. 108 00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:14,759 YOU'RE RIGHT. 109 00:05:14,794 --> 00:05:16,506 FOR HIM, IT'S GOT TO BE A RELATIONSHIP. 110 00:05:16,530 --> 00:05:17,907 THERE HAS TO BE A FUTURE. 111 00:05:17,931 --> 00:05:21,032 YEAH. WHAT IS WITH THAT? 112 00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:22,634 OUCH! 113 00:05:22,669 --> 00:05:25,703 I'M JUST SAYING HE NEEDS TO SADDLE UP FOR A QUICK RIDE, 114 00:05:25,739 --> 00:05:27,938 THEN HOP RIGHT OFF. 115 00:05:27,974 --> 00:05:29,941 OW! 116 00:05:33,580 --> 00:05:35,647 SHARON... 117 00:05:37,884 --> 00:05:40,552 YOU'RE NOT DATING ANYONE. 118 00:05:40,587 --> 00:05:42,920 SO? 119 00:05:42,956 --> 00:05:47,258 SO... YOU'RE A BABE. 120 00:05:47,294 --> 00:05:48,359 FORGET IT. 121 00:05:48,395 --> 00:05:50,995 LOOK, SHAR, ASIDE FROM A HOOKER, 122 00:05:51,030 --> 00:05:53,130 YOU'RE THE ONLY GIRL THAT PETE COULD HAVE SEX WITH 123 00:05:53,166 --> 00:05:56,568 AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FALLING IN LOVE. 124 00:05:56,603 --> 00:06:01,072 GOSH, BERG, WHEN YOU PUT ME UP ON THAT KIND OF PEDESTAL... 125 00:06:01,108 --> 00:06:02,173 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 126 00:06:02,209 --> 00:06:04,809 I SO HOPE YOU HAVE A BACKUP PLAN. 127 00:06:04,844 --> 00:06:06,778 HEY, GUYS. 128 00:06:06,813 --> 00:06:08,357 BILL, I'M SORRY I'M LATE. 129 00:06:08,381 --> 00:06:09,458 I HAD A ROUGH NIGHT. 130 00:06:09,482 --> 00:06:11,382 WE HEARD. 131 00:06:11,418 --> 00:06:13,184 WE LAUGHED. 132 00:06:13,219 --> 00:06:16,854 BERG, DID YOU HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE? 133 00:06:16,890 --> 00:06:19,323 I DIDN'T HAVE TO. 134 00:06:20,593 --> 00:06:22,393 PETE, I NEVER TOLD YOU THIS... 135 00:06:22,428 --> 00:06:25,597 IS THERE ANY CHANCE WE CAN KEEP IT THAT WAY? 136 00:06:25,632 --> 00:06:28,399 I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, 137 00:06:28,434 --> 00:06:30,346 AND I MET THIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE 138 00:06:30,370 --> 00:06:32,336 ON A BEACH ONE SUMMER. 139 00:06:32,372 --> 00:06:34,705 HER NAME WAS SANDY. 140 00:06:34,740 --> 00:06:36,640 SHE WAS FROM AUSTRALIA. 141 00:06:36,676 --> 00:06:40,378 SUMMER LOVIN', PETE, HAPPENED SO FAST... 142 00:06:41,847 --> 00:06:45,349 TELL ME MORE. TELL ME MORE. 143 00:06:46,486 --> 00:06:48,852 I TOOK HER BOWLING IN THE ARCADE. 144 00:06:48,888 --> 00:06:53,124 THEN WE HUNG OUT, DRANK LEMONADE... 145 00:06:53,159 --> 00:06:57,395 LET ME GUESS... YOU MADE OUT... 146 00:06:57,430 --> 00:06:58,763 UNDER THE DOCK. 147 00:06:58,798 --> 00:07:02,099 WE STAYED OUT TILL 10:00. 148 00:07:02,135 --> 00:07:04,936 OK. THAT'S IT. ALL DONE. 149 00:07:06,472 --> 00:07:07,683 LOOK, BERG, I'M SORRY, MAN. 150 00:07:07,707 --> 00:07:09,374 I'M SORRY I RUINED YOUR SHINDIG. 151 00:07:09,409 --> 00:07:11,120 MAN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME. 152 00:07:11,144 --> 00:07:12,943 IT'S THIS SIMPLE, OK? 153 00:07:12,979 --> 00:07:14,523 YOU'VE JUST COME OFF THIS MAJOR RELATIONSHIP, 154 00:07:14,547 --> 00:07:16,559 AND NOW YOU'RE LOOKING FOR ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP 155 00:07:16,583 --> 00:07:18,216 TO FILL THE VOID. 156 00:07:18,251 --> 00:07:19,584 ALL RIGHT. 157 00:07:19,619 --> 00:07:21,164 BUT YOU CAN'T JUST JUMP FROM ONE RIGHT INTO ANOTHER. 158 00:07:21,188 --> 00:07:23,020 YOU NEED A GIRL TO GET YOU BACK IN THE SWING, 159 00:07:23,056 --> 00:07:26,791 A SHORT-TERM RELATIONSHIP WITH NO FUTURE. 160 00:07:26,826 --> 00:07:28,092 BERG'S RIGHT. 161 00:07:28,127 --> 00:07:31,095 WHAT YOU NEED IS A NICE REBOUND GIRL. 162 00:07:31,130 --> 00:07:33,798 OK. ALL RIGHT, BUT HOW DO YOU GO OUT WITH SOMEONE 163 00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:35,711 KNOWING IT'S NOT GONNA GO ANYWHERE? 164 00:07:35,735 --> 00:07:38,436 BERG? 165 00:07:40,106 --> 00:07:43,374 WELL, THAT'S SOMETHING THAT COMES WITH PRACTICE. 166 00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:44,542 OK. ALL RIGHT, FINE. 167 00:07:44,578 --> 00:07:46,777 WHERE DO I FIND THIS REBOUND GIRL? 168 00:07:46,813 --> 00:07:48,079 I DON'T KNOW. 169 00:07:48,114 --> 00:07:50,259 SHARON, WHERE DO GUYS MEET YOU? 170 00:07:50,283 --> 00:07:52,316 WHERE'S THE LADLE? 171 00:07:52,351 --> 00:07:54,619 I'M KIDDING, I'M KIDDING. 172 00:07:54,654 --> 00:07:55,987 NOT THE LADLE. 173 00:07:56,022 --> 00:07:57,366 THE NEXT TIME I USE THIS, 174 00:07:57,390 --> 00:07:59,301 YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO HAVE IT SURGICALLY REMOVED. 175 00:07:59,325 --> 00:08:02,626 THAT'S IT. THAT'S PERFECT. 176 00:08:02,662 --> 00:08:03,773 IT'S REALLY NOT, BERG. 177 00:08:03,797 --> 00:08:05,241 SEE, EVEN AFTER THEY SEW YOU UP, 178 00:08:05,265 --> 00:08:06,642 IT'S STILL A WEEK BEFORE YOU CAN WALK. 179 00:08:06,666 --> 00:08:09,000 THANK YOU. 180 00:08:09,035 --> 00:08:11,936 NO, NO, NO. I MEANT THE PERFECT REBOUND GIRL FOR PETE. 181 00:08:11,971 --> 00:08:12,937 WHERE? 182 00:08:12,972 --> 00:08:14,806 IN MED SCHOOL. 183 00:08:14,841 --> 00:08:16,218 COME ON, BERG, I'M FINE. 184 00:08:16,242 --> 00:08:18,809 NO, NO, NO. TRUST ME, OK? THIS IS PERFECT. 185 00:08:18,845 --> 00:08:20,578 SHE'S SMART, SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, 186 00:08:20,613 --> 00:08:22,024 AND I'M TELLING YOU UP FRONT... 187 00:08:22,048 --> 00:08:23,693 SHE'S ONLY IN TOWN FOR A FEW WEEKS. 188 00:08:23,717 --> 00:08:25,215 THAT SOUNDS IDEAL. 189 00:08:25,251 --> 00:08:26,551 OH, IT IS IDEAL. 190 00:08:26,586 --> 00:08:28,886 HEH. MY BRAIN IS SO BIG 191 00:08:28,922 --> 00:08:32,656 THAT IT HURTS MY NECK LUGGING IT AROUND. 192 00:08:36,362 --> 00:08:38,207 SO SHE'S NOT A MED STUDENT, 193 00:08:38,231 --> 00:08:42,300 SHE'S NOT A DOCTOR, SHE'S NOT A NURSE. 194 00:08:42,335 --> 00:08:43,967 WHAT IS SHE? 195 00:08:44,003 --> 00:08:46,771 SICK. 196 00:08:46,806 --> 00:08:49,940 YOU SET ME UP WITH A PATIENT? 197 00:08:49,976 --> 00:08:51,542 IT'S NOTHING. 198 00:08:51,578 --> 00:08:53,344 SHE'S JUST HAVING HER LUNGS ROTATED. 199 00:08:53,379 --> 00:08:55,113 COME ON, BERG. 200 00:08:55,148 --> 00:08:58,015 SHE'S RECUPERATING FROM SOME MINOR RESPIRATORY THING. 201 00:08:58,050 --> 00:09:00,118 YOU'LL LOVE HER. 202 00:09:00,153 --> 00:09:02,220 WAIT A MINUTE. 203 00:09:02,255 --> 00:09:04,555 DOES SHE WHEEZE? 204 00:09:04,590 --> 00:09:07,024 PETE, SHE'S A GREAT GIRL. 205 00:09:07,060 --> 00:09:08,738 I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER. 206 00:09:08,762 --> 00:09:09,860 WHAT'S TO KNOW? 207 00:09:09,896 --> 00:09:11,930 SHE ENJOYS ROCK CLIMBING, HAS 2 DOGS, 208 00:09:11,965 --> 00:09:13,897 AND LOVES ITALIAN OPERA. 209 00:09:15,802 --> 00:09:17,146 BERG, I APPRECIATE EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING, 210 00:09:17,170 --> 00:09:19,170 BUT I'M JUST NOT READY YET. 211 00:09:19,205 --> 00:09:22,072 IF YOU'RE NOT READY NOW, WHEN WILL YOU BE READY, PETE? 212 00:09:22,108 --> 00:09:25,676 IT'S BEEN 2 MONTHS. YOU'VE COME THIS FAR. JUST MEET HER. 213 00:09:28,814 --> 00:09:30,214 BERG! 214 00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:33,690 LAUREN, THIS IS THE GUY I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU ABOUT. 215 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:35,764 PETE DUNVILLE, LAUREN HENDERSON. 216 00:09:35,788 --> 00:09:37,933 LAUREN HENDERSON, PETE DUNVILLE. 217 00:09:37,957 --> 00:09:42,293 LAUREN AND PETE... MICHAEL BERGEN. 218 00:09:42,328 --> 00:09:43,761 WHY LEAVE MYSELF OUT? 219 00:09:45,331 --> 00:09:50,268 WHEN... I MIGHT AS WELL JUST LET MYSELF OUT. 220 00:09:50,303 --> 00:09:51,702 OK. 221 00:09:51,737 --> 00:09:55,097 TAKE HIM EVERY 4 HOURS AND CALL ME IN THE MORNING. 222 00:10:01,046 --> 00:10:03,714 BUON GIORNO. 223 00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:06,183 HOW YOU DOING, PETE? 224 00:10:06,218 --> 00:10:08,552 ALL OF A SUDDEN, MUCH BETTER. 225 00:10:08,588 --> 00:10:11,922 SAME HERE. OH, HAVE A SEAT. 226 00:10:11,958 --> 00:10:15,426 GRAZIE. 227 00:10:15,462 --> 00:10:18,463 BERG. SO HE TOLD YOU I LIKE ITALIAN OPERA. 228 00:10:18,498 --> 00:10:19,796 YEAH. 229 00:10:19,832 --> 00:10:25,402 LA ROBA LAVATA DEL NOSTRO VICINO E CADUTA. 230 00:10:27,006 --> 00:10:30,808 THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 231 00:10:30,843 --> 00:10:34,679 IT MEANS OUR NEIGHBOR'S LAUNDRY HAS FALLEN. 232 00:10:39,218 --> 00:10:41,085 WHOA! 233 00:10:42,321 --> 00:10:44,022 BIG BRAIN. 234 00:10:50,196 --> 00:10:54,398 BILL, MR. BAUER STILL DOESN'T LIKE THE PIZZA. 235 00:10:54,433 --> 00:10:59,003 HEY, BAUER, WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY PIZZA? 236 00:10:59,039 --> 00:11:03,841 BILL, I'M AFRAID... GREASE IS THE WORD. 237 00:11:03,876 --> 00:11:05,943 OH, SIT DOWN. 238 00:11:05,978 --> 00:11:11,983 MAN... GROWNUPS JUST DO NOT GET ME. 239 00:11:12,018 --> 00:11:16,654 SO... WHAT CAN I GET YOU 2 LOVEBIRDS? 240 00:11:16,689 --> 00:11:20,057 NOTHING, PETE. WE'RE FINE. 241 00:11:20,092 --> 00:11:21,159 HMM? 242 00:11:21,194 --> 00:11:22,293 SORRY. 243 00:11:22,328 --> 00:11:27,230 HE RECENTLY MET A GIRL HE REALLY LIKES, SO... 244 00:11:27,266 --> 00:11:30,401 I GUESS THAT MAKES 2 OF US. 245 00:11:30,436 --> 00:11:32,236 EXCELLENT ANSWER. 246 00:11:33,306 --> 00:11:34,739 HOW WE DOING, FOLKS? 247 00:11:34,774 --> 00:11:39,677 UM, TODAY WE HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SPRING CALZONE 248 00:11:39,712 --> 00:11:42,579 WITH SEASONAL PEPPERS AND 3 KINDS OF CHEESE, 249 00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:43,881 BUT THAT'S NOT ALL. 250 00:11:43,916 --> 00:11:47,518 BILL HAS ALSO PREPARED HIS FAMOUS CHICKEN SAUSAGE PIZZA. 251 00:11:47,553 --> 00:11:51,222 IT'S THE TALK OF THE SAUSAGE COMMUNITY. 252 00:11:51,257 --> 00:11:53,690 TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED. 253 00:11:56,462 --> 00:12:00,564 WHAT THE HELL IS A SPRING CALZONE? 254 00:12:00,599 --> 00:12:05,069 IT'S, UH... IT'S A CALZONE. 255 00:12:05,105 --> 00:12:07,805 IT'S SPRINGTIME. 256 00:12:07,841 --> 00:12:10,942 I MISS THE OLD PETE, THE SAD PETE. 257 00:12:10,977 --> 00:12:12,610 NOW, HE WAS FUNNY. 258 00:12:12,645 --> 00:12:14,445 I HAVEN'T HAD A GOOD LAUGH IN... 259 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,647 EXACTLY 10 DAYS. 260 00:12:16,682 --> 00:12:19,850 10 GLORIOUS, ROMANTIC DAYS... 261 00:12:19,886 --> 00:12:21,029 ALL THANKS TO THIS GUY. 262 00:12:21,053 --> 00:12:24,133 EVERYONE, LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR MY PAL BERG. 263 00:12:26,692 --> 00:12:28,759 WHOO-HOO! 264 00:12:30,162 --> 00:12:31,595 ALL RIGHT, SUNSHINE, 265 00:12:31,630 --> 00:12:32,841 GET OVER THERE AND CHOP SOME ONIONS 266 00:12:32,865 --> 00:12:35,900 UNTIL YOU AT LEAST LOOK SAD. 267 00:12:37,369 --> 00:12:39,103 WE GOTTA TALK. 268 00:12:39,138 --> 00:12:40,171 BERG, HANK. 269 00:12:40,206 --> 00:12:43,340 HANK, MY OBTRUSIVE FRIEND BERG. 270 00:12:43,375 --> 00:12:44,487 HOW YA DOIN'? 271 00:12:44,511 --> 00:12:45,854 SO YOU'RE A MARINE BIOLOGIST? 272 00:12:45,878 --> 00:12:46,844 YEAH, RIGHT, AND... 273 00:12:46,879 --> 00:12:48,412 SHE WORKS FOR A CHEMICAL COMPANY. 274 00:12:48,448 --> 00:12:49,813 SHE KILLS ALGAE FOR A LIVING. 275 00:12:49,848 --> 00:12:53,084 THERE'S NO FUTURE HERE, HANK. 276 00:12:54,286 --> 00:12:57,621 HO, GOD, WOULD YOU EXCUSE US FOR JUST A MINUTE? 277 00:12:57,656 --> 00:12:59,190 YEAH. SURE. 278 00:13:01,194 --> 00:13:02,693 STEP INTO MY OFFICE. 279 00:13:04,363 --> 00:13:05,841 WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? 280 00:13:05,865 --> 00:13:08,732 I'M SORRY, BUT THIS IS MAJOR. 281 00:13:08,767 --> 00:13:10,634 WHAT IS SO MAJOR 282 00:13:10,669 --> 00:13:13,629 THAT YOU WERE WILLING TO RISK THE LADLE? 283 00:13:14,974 --> 00:13:17,475 PETE'S REBOUND GIRL IS GONNA DIE. 284 00:13:17,510 --> 00:13:19,710 WHAT? 285 00:13:19,745 --> 00:13:22,546 I MISREAD THE CHART. 286 00:13:22,582 --> 00:13:24,759 YOU SET HIM UP WITH A DYING GIRL? 287 00:13:24,783 --> 00:13:26,617 I DIDN'T KNOW. 288 00:13:26,652 --> 00:13:30,487 OH, MY GOD. POOR PETE. 289 00:13:30,523 --> 00:13:34,792 ♪ ANOTHER PLEASANT VALLEY SUNDAY ♪ 290 00:13:34,827 --> 00:13:39,130 ♪ HERE IN STATUS SYMBOL LAND... ♪ 291 00:13:40,366 --> 00:13:41,865 WE CAN'T SIT ON THIS. 292 00:13:41,901 --> 00:13:44,101 HOW YA GONNA TELL HIM? 293 00:13:44,137 --> 00:13:46,804 UH... NO WAY. 294 00:13:46,839 --> 00:13:48,817 YOU GOT HIM INTO THIS, YOU TELL HIM. 295 00:13:48,841 --> 00:13:49,841 IT WASN'T MY FAULT. 296 00:13:49,876 --> 00:13:52,075 SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A REBOUND GIRL. 297 00:13:52,111 --> 00:13:54,879 HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO FALL IN LOVE WITH HER. 298 00:13:54,914 --> 00:13:56,458 DO YOU WANT TO HEAR THE TRUTH, 299 00:13:56,482 --> 00:13:59,642 OR DO YOU WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR? 300 00:14:03,222 --> 00:14:06,356 WHAT I WANT TO HEAR. 301 00:14:06,392 --> 00:14:08,504 BERG, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. 302 00:14:08,528 --> 00:14:10,105 YOU TOLD HIM ABOUT THE REBOUND THING. 303 00:14:10,129 --> 00:14:12,374 THEREFORE NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT. 304 00:14:12,398 --> 00:14:13,575 HOW COULD SHE NOT HAVE TOLD HIM? 305 00:14:13,599 --> 00:14:14,743 I MEAN, YOU'D THINK THIS WOULD BE 306 00:14:14,767 --> 00:14:15,844 THE TYPE OF THING THAT YOU TELL SOMEONE. 307 00:14:15,868 --> 00:14:17,934 - YOU'D THINK. - HE MUST KNOW. 308 00:14:17,970 --> 00:14:19,881 ♪ AND MR. GREEN, HE'S SO SERENE ♪ 309 00:14:19,905 --> 00:14:24,241 ♪ HE'S GOT A TV IN EVERY ROOM... ♪ 310 00:14:26,512 --> 00:14:28,311 WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. 311 00:14:28,347 --> 00:14:32,482 WHAT'S THE RULE ON HOW LONG YOU CAN DATE A REBOUND GIRL? 312 00:14:32,518 --> 00:14:35,953 UH, THE BOOK SAYS ANYWHERE FROM ONE WEEK TO A MONTH AND A HALF. 313 00:14:35,988 --> 00:14:38,388 OK. THIS COULD WORK. 314 00:14:38,424 --> 00:14:40,024 NOW, IT'S ALMOST BEEN 2 WEEKS. 315 00:14:40,059 --> 00:14:42,792 I JUST GOT TO GET HIM TO BREAK UP WITH HER BEFORE HE FINDS OUT. 316 00:14:42,828 --> 00:14:45,696 YEAH. THAT'S GOING TO BE EASY. 317 00:14:45,731 --> 00:14:49,567 ♪ WHEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE ♪ 318 00:14:49,602 --> 00:14:52,503 ♪ LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE ♪ 319 00:14:52,538 --> 00:14:55,505 ♪ THAT'S AMORE ♪ 320 00:14:59,646 --> 00:15:01,979 - HANK, I REALLY HAD FUN. - YEAH. SO DID I. 321 00:15:02,015 --> 00:15:04,882 JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO MEET SOMEBODY... 322 00:15:04,917 --> 00:15:05,882 I KNOW. TELL ME ABOUT IT. 323 00:15:05,918 --> 00:15:09,820 I'M COMING OFF A 6-YEAR RELATIONSHIP. 324 00:15:10,889 --> 00:15:15,259 SO I'M YOUR REBOUND GIRL? 325 00:15:15,294 --> 00:15:19,296 WELL... YEAH, I GUESS YOU ARE. 326 00:15:20,732 --> 00:15:24,034 WELL, BEATS RENTING VIDEOS. 327 00:15:24,069 --> 00:15:27,438 A FEW WEEKS AGO YOU WERE MOPING AROUND, 328 00:15:27,473 --> 00:15:30,874 MELISSA THIS, MELISSA THAT, MELISSA, MELISSA, MELISSA. 329 00:15:30,909 --> 00:15:33,076 NOW LOOK AT YOU. 330 00:15:33,112 --> 00:15:34,823 YEAH, AND I OWE IT ALL TO YOU. 331 00:15:34,847 --> 00:15:36,391 YOU KNOW, WITH LAUREN, 332 00:15:36,415 --> 00:15:38,360 I MEAN, YOU KNOW HOW, LIKE, 333 00:15:38,384 --> 00:15:40,062 I'M ALWAYS, LIKE, "THIS GIRL'S GREAT, 334 00:15:40,086 --> 00:15:41,963 BUT SHE'S NOT THE ONE. SHE'S NOT THE ONE." 335 00:15:41,987 --> 00:15:44,188 OF COURSE SHE'S NOT THE ONE. 336 00:15:44,223 --> 00:15:46,289 NO. THAT'S JUST IT. 337 00:15:46,325 --> 00:15:48,825 LAUREN MIGHT BE THE ONE. 338 00:15:48,861 --> 00:15:54,131 AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHY YOU HAVE TO BREAK UP WITH HER. 339 00:15:54,167 --> 00:15:55,465 WHAT? NO WAY. 340 00:15:55,501 --> 00:15:57,400 PETE, COME ON. 341 00:15:57,436 --> 00:15:59,937 YOU KNOW, THESE RULES HAVE BEEN CLEARLY ESTABLISHED. 342 00:15:59,972 --> 00:16:02,339 IF LAUREN'S THE ONE, THEN YOU'RE WASTING HER 343 00:16:02,374 --> 00:16:04,408 AS YOUR REBOUND GIRL, 344 00:16:04,443 --> 00:16:07,044 THEREBY COMPLETELY TAKING HER OUT OF CONTENTION TO BE... 345 00:16:07,079 --> 00:16:09,847 THE ONE. 346 00:16:09,882 --> 00:16:13,517 SO ACCORDING TO YOU, I NEED TO BREAK UP WITH LAUREN 347 00:16:13,552 --> 00:16:15,096 TO FIND A GIRL I DON'T LIKE 348 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,855 SO I CAN GET BACK WITH LAUREN, WHO I'M ALREADY WITH. 349 00:16:18,891 --> 00:16:20,023 NOW YOU GOT IT. 350 00:16:20,059 --> 00:16:21,391 NO, I DON'T. 351 00:16:21,427 --> 00:16:23,527 PETE, THERE'S SOMETHING I GOT TO TELL YOU. 352 00:16:23,562 --> 00:16:25,062 FIRE AWAY. 353 00:16:25,097 --> 00:16:27,631 LAUREN IS... LAUREN'S WHAT? 354 00:16:27,666 --> 00:16:29,800 NOT... RECUPERATING. 355 00:16:31,170 --> 00:16:32,214 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 356 00:16:32,238 --> 00:16:35,239 IT'S JUST A RESPIRATORY THING. 357 00:16:35,274 --> 00:16:38,476 PETE... I WAS WRONG. 358 00:16:38,511 --> 00:16:40,478 I MISREAD THE CHART. 359 00:16:40,513 --> 00:16:44,281 I DON'T THINK THAT SHE HAS THAT LONG TO LIVE. 360 00:16:46,552 --> 00:16:47,930 BERG, IF YOU'RE SCREWING AROUND WITH ME... 361 00:16:47,954 --> 00:16:50,187 I WOULDN'T... 362 00:16:51,356 --> 00:16:53,334 YOU SET ME UP WITH A DYING WOMAN? 363 00:16:53,358 --> 00:16:55,725 I DIDN'T KNOW. I DIDN'T KNOW. 364 00:16:55,761 --> 00:16:57,839 HOW HARD IS IT TO READ A CHART? 365 00:16:57,863 --> 00:16:59,630 THE WRITING IS SO SMALL. 366 00:16:59,665 --> 00:17:01,431 OH... 367 00:17:02,768 --> 00:17:04,234 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 368 00:17:04,270 --> 00:17:05,547 ICE SKATING. WHERE DO YOU THINK I'M GOING? 369 00:17:05,571 --> 00:17:07,081 I'M GOING TO TALK TO HER. 370 00:17:07,105 --> 00:17:09,840 IT'S PAST VISITING HOURS. THEY'RE NOT GOING TO LET YOU IN. 371 00:17:09,875 --> 00:17:12,709 THEY WILL IF I'M WITH YOU. 372 00:17:18,484 --> 00:17:20,651 TESTS. 373 00:17:20,686 --> 00:17:22,519 TESTS. SHE'S PROBABLY DOWNSTAIRS HAVING TESTS. 374 00:17:22,555 --> 00:17:25,456 EVERY DAY THEY DRAG HER DOWNSTAIRS FOR SOME MORE TESTS. 375 00:17:25,491 --> 00:17:28,559 EXCUSE ME. WE'RE HERE TO SEE LAUREN HENDERSON. 376 00:17:28,594 --> 00:17:30,405 OH, I'M SORRY, BUT SHE'S GONE. 377 00:17:30,429 --> 00:17:31,573 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SHE'S GONE? 378 00:17:31,597 --> 00:17:33,663 I'M SORRY. 379 00:17:43,676 --> 00:17:45,442 HEY, GUYS. 380 00:17:45,477 --> 00:17:46,777 UH... 381 00:17:47,813 --> 00:17:50,981 LAUREN! OH! 382 00:17:51,016 --> 00:17:52,882 I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD. 383 00:17:52,918 --> 00:17:54,985 WHO TOLD YOU THAT? 384 00:17:55,020 --> 00:17:58,555 THAT... WOULD BE ME. 385 00:17:58,591 --> 00:17:59,601 YOU MEAN, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE? 386 00:17:59,625 --> 00:18:01,125 SORRY. 387 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,294 NO. I MEAN, THAT'S... THAT'S GREAT. 388 00:18:03,329 --> 00:18:04,939 I JUST HAD THIS LITTLE RESPIRATORY THING. 389 00:18:04,963 --> 00:18:06,063 THEY RELEASED ME. 390 00:18:06,098 --> 00:18:07,542 I LEFT YOU A MESSAGE ON YOUR HOME MACHINE. 391 00:18:07,566 --> 00:18:12,402 PETE, DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS? 392 00:18:12,437 --> 00:18:15,172 I READ THE CHART RIGHT ON MY FIRST TRY. 393 00:18:16,175 --> 00:18:17,141 LAUREN... 394 00:18:17,176 --> 00:18:21,111 I... I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO LOSE YOU. 395 00:18:21,147 --> 00:18:24,915 ON MY WAY OVER HERE, I REALIZED HOW SHORT LIFE IS, 396 00:18:24,950 --> 00:18:28,551 HOW LITTLE TIME WE HAVE. 397 00:18:28,587 --> 00:18:33,624 LOOK, IN 3 WEEKS MY SEMESTER'S OVER. 398 00:18:33,659 --> 00:18:36,060 LET'S GO SEE PAVAROTTI. 399 00:18:36,095 --> 00:18:37,394 LET'S GO TO ITALY. 400 00:18:37,429 --> 00:18:39,763 LET'S GO SEE PAVAROTTI IN ITALY. 401 00:18:39,798 --> 00:18:43,734 FIRST YOU MIGHT WANT TO SEE HIM IN YES, GIORGIO. 402 00:18:43,769 --> 00:18:49,706 GEE, PETE... I'M GOING HOME TO COLORADO. 403 00:18:49,741 --> 00:18:53,844 COLORADO? COLORADO'S SO FAR. 404 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:57,381 NOT IF YOU'RE IN DENVER. 405 00:18:58,484 --> 00:19:01,518 PETE, YOU CAN COME AND VISIT. 406 00:19:01,553 --> 00:19:05,088 I DON'T WANT TO JUST COME AND VISIT. 407 00:19:05,123 --> 00:19:09,326 LOOK, LAUREN, ONCE YOU'VE HAD A NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE, 408 00:19:09,361 --> 00:19:11,294 I MEAN, YOUR WHOLE OUTLOOK SHOULD CHANGE. 409 00:19:11,329 --> 00:19:14,631 PETE, I DIDN'T HAVE A NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE. 410 00:19:14,666 --> 00:19:18,802 OK, BUT, I MEAN, WHAT WE DID HAVE... 411 00:19:18,837 --> 00:19:21,105 DIDN'T THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU? 412 00:19:21,140 --> 00:19:24,274 NO. IT... IT WAS GREAT. 413 00:19:24,309 --> 00:19:26,276 IT WAS WONDERFUL. 414 00:19:26,311 --> 00:19:28,679 BUT THAT WASN'T WHAT THIS WAS ALL ABOUT. 415 00:19:28,714 --> 00:19:31,225 I WAS JUST COMING OUT OF A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP, 416 00:19:31,249 --> 00:19:32,360 AND SO WERE YOU. 417 00:19:32,384 --> 00:19:34,196 YOUR LIFE IS HERE IN BOSTON, 418 00:19:34,220 --> 00:19:36,131 AND MY LIFE IS IN COLORADO. 419 00:19:36,155 --> 00:19:39,757 THAT'S WHY BERG SAID WE'D BE PERFECT TOGETHER. 420 00:19:42,027 --> 00:19:43,260 YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SHOULD DO? 421 00:19:43,295 --> 00:19:45,896 MAKE BIGGER CHARTS. 422 00:19:45,932 --> 00:19:49,833 THAT WAY... YOU COULD WRITE BIGGER. 423 00:19:53,839 --> 00:19:56,607 MY CHARIOT AWAITS. 424 00:20:01,346 --> 00:20:02,846 WE'LL KEEP IN TOUCH. 425 00:20:02,881 --> 00:20:04,714 SURE. 426 00:20:14,894 --> 00:20:18,262 WH-WH-WH-WHERE YOU GOING? 427 00:20:18,297 --> 00:20:21,097 I'M GOING TO THE PSYCHIATRIC WARD... 428 00:20:21,133 --> 00:20:24,701 TO FIND OUT WHY I'M FRIENDS WITH YOU. 429 00:20:30,675 --> 00:20:33,021 THERE YOU ARE. WE WERE WORRIED ABOUT YOU. 430 00:20:33,045 --> 00:20:35,012 I JUST NEEDED A LITTLE TIME. 431 00:20:35,047 --> 00:20:36,346 WELL, BY CHANCE, IN THAT TIME 432 00:20:36,381 --> 00:20:38,582 DID YOU MANAGE TO FIND THE BRIGHT SIDE? 433 00:20:38,617 --> 00:20:40,295 'CAUSE WE JUST COULDN'T. 434 00:20:40,319 --> 00:20:41,985 NAH. I'M STILL WORKING ON IT. 435 00:20:42,020 --> 00:20:43,653 I DO WANT TO THANK YOU, THOUGH. 436 00:20:43,688 --> 00:20:47,357 OH... THAT'S SO NOT NECESSARY. 437 00:20:47,392 --> 00:20:50,027 FOR INTRODUCING ME TO A WOMAN 438 00:20:50,062 --> 00:20:53,664 WHO BROKE MY HEART TWICE IN 8 MINUTES. 439 00:20:53,699 --> 00:20:55,999 WHILE I WAS MOURNING HER PASSING, 440 00:20:56,035 --> 00:20:59,770 SHE POPPED OUT OF THE JOHN TO DUMP ME. 441 00:20:59,805 --> 00:21:03,073 BUT THROUGH ALL THIS, YOU HAVEN'T EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT MELISSA. 442 00:21:03,108 --> 00:21:04,608 THAT I'LL GIVE YOU. 443 00:21:04,644 --> 00:21:08,078 ALL PART OF MY MASTER PLAN. 444 00:21:08,113 --> 00:21:12,816 YOU ARE JUST A BIG, LONG PROBLEM. 445 00:21:12,851 --> 00:21:15,018 I SAY WE GO GRAB A DRINK. SHAR? 446 00:21:15,054 --> 00:21:16,197 OK. LET'S DO IT. 447 00:21:16,221 --> 00:21:17,331 I'LL TELL YOU THIS... 448 00:21:17,355 --> 00:21:19,133 I AM DEFINITELY READY TO START DATING AGAIN. 449 00:21:19,157 --> 00:21:21,058 ALL RIGHT, PETE. 450 00:21:21,093 --> 00:21:23,927 NO RELATIONSHIP COULD POSSIBLY END WORSE THAN THIS ONE. 451 00:21:23,963 --> 00:21:25,996 I LOVE A CHALLENGE. 452 00:21:29,534 --> 00:21:34,037 ♪ ANOTHER PLEASANT VALLEY SUNDAY ♪ 453 00:21:34,073 --> 00:21:37,608 ♪ CHARCOAL BURNING EVERYWHERE ♪ 454 00:21:37,643 --> 00:21:40,343 ♪ SEE MRS. GRAY, SHE'S PROUD TODAY ♪ 455 00:21:40,378 --> 00:21:44,280 ♪ BECAUSE HER ROSES ARE IN BLOOM ♪ 456 00:21:44,316 --> 00:21:45,927 ♪ AND MR. GREEN, HE'S SO SERENE ♪ 457 00:21:45,951 --> 00:21:50,520 ♪ HE'S GOT A TV IN EVERY ROOM ♪ 31534

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