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1
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:08,185
- shower drain still clogged ?
- yup
2
00:00:34,373 --> 00:00:38,502
look at us Pete
life seem doll lately ?
3
00:00:47,138 --> 00:00:50,601
not anymore, now that I have to learn to drive with one eye
4
00:00:54,372 --> 00:00:55,998
so, fun day at the park ?
5
00:00:55,998 --> 00:00:58,509
- I got kicked off the team
- now what'd you do ?
6
00:00:59,176 --> 00:01:01,798
- I spiked the second baseman
- that's all part of the game
7
00:01:02,275 --> 00:01:06,112
- our second baseman
- oh, yeah that's wrong
8
00:01:07,383 --> 00:01:11,859
I'm in right field, I cut off a ball and gap, and fire rocket to second
9
00:01:11,859 --> 00:01:16,743
schmeco drops it and tells me :
"try not to throw your shopping arm"
10
00:01:22,224 --> 00:01:27,466
that's when I reared in, and I cleared him in the chin
these co-et softball leagues are all sexist
11
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:35,201
co-et, as in boys and girls working toiling, sweating together towards a common goal ?
12
00:01:35,894 --> 00:01:39,479
hardly, they're forced to have at least two girls on the team
13
00:01:39,624 --> 00:01:43,364
so they hide one of the in right field, bury the other one as designated hitter !
14
00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:46,396
yeah, cause they wanna win
kidding, kidding, kidding
15
00:01:47,075 --> 00:01:51,526
you know, I have the perfect solution
16
00:01:53,186 --> 00:01:55,338
- come play on our team
- yeah
17
00:01:56,435 --> 00:02:00,810
- we don't have a team
- Pete, I have a dream
18
00:02:02,085 --> 00:02:13,043
a dream, where women are free to roam all fields, not just right, but center, left, and yes, even short stop
19
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:16,017
- even pitcher ?
- sorry kid, that's man's work
20
00:02:17,793 --> 00:02:19,456
I am through
21
00:02:21,856 --> 00:02:24,281
Pete, here's the roaster
22
00:02:24,735 --> 00:02:31,925
you, me, and seven gorgeous babes, in skin tight baseball pants
23
00:02:32,862 --> 00:02:38,752
- hah, this sounds great, but you know me, I hate to lose
- who said anything about losing ?
24
00:02:38,752 --> 00:02:42,577
- what is the number one college women sport in the country ?
- basketball
25
00:02:42,577 --> 00:02:43,445
- after that
- volleyball
26
00:02:43,445 --> 00:02:44,293
- after that
- softball
27
00:02:44,293 --> 00:02:45,389
softball
28
00:02:46,973 --> 00:02:53,606
- and what's the city, with the most colleges ?
- Boston
29
00:02:53,887 --> 00:03:02,587
right-o, we recruit seven gorgeous ringers, from the finest softball teams in Boston
what do you say ?
30
00:03:04,125 --> 00:03:05,437
play ball
31
00:03:08,315 --> 00:03:09,483
we'll practice
32
00:03:12,892 --> 00:03:19,980
- Bill, if you sponsor us it'll be great publicity for the pizza place
- yeah, like the 1985 Beacon street little cheeses
33
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:25,277
- yeah, they made the headlines
- for being the first team in little league history to lose every game
34
00:03:25,525 --> 00:03:31,033
there're always drowning their sorrows in my free pizzas
they got so fat I had to drive them into the game in groups of three
35
00:03:32,784 --> 00:03:36,251
- but this isn't little league
- yeah this is us, it'll be fun
36
00:03:36,251 --> 00:03:41,188
come on bill
I bet you were quite an athlete in your day
37
00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:46,319
- what do you mean "in my day"?
- did I say "in my day"?
38
00:03:47,498 --> 00:03:53,131
well I can't play anyway
Ellen won't let me wear a cup
39
00:03:55,482 --> 00:03:57,633
- excuse me?
- we're trying to have kids
40
00:03:57,633 --> 00:04:01,311
and I read some articles in the doctor's office that said you're not suppose to heat up you n
41
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:04,667
your t
44
00:04:13,610 --> 00:04:14,608
thank you Berg
45
00:04:15,940 --> 00:04:19,028
I guess the league champ this year will be Tessio's pizzeria
46
00:04:19,648 --> 00:04:21,176
- Tessio's?
- yeah
47
00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:26,854
you know, our friends down the street, the ones who slips their coupons into our pizza boxes !
48
00:04:28,379 --> 00:04:37,011
when they're not doing that, they're out there winning big softball trophies, with no one to stop'em, but no big deal
49
00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:45,316
- when do you need the uniforms ?
- if we get them by the end of the week we'll have a game this saturday
50
00:04:45,316 --> 00:04:47,884
- ok, when do we play Tessio's ?
- a week after that
51
00:04:49,973 --> 00:04:53,796
- Bill, Bill, where are you going ?
- as a gesture of our sportsmanship and goodwill
52
00:04:53,796 --> 00:05:01,621
I'm going to go over to Tessio's, and wish then the best of luck,
and as I'm leaving, I'm gonna stick my menu in his front window
53
00:05:03,643 --> 00:05:07,860
- yeah
- ok, so when do we get to meet these ringers you've been bragging about ?
54
00:05:08,098 --> 00:05:15,617
no time like the present, Sharon, Pete, let's give it up for your Beacon street pizza all stars
55
00:05:16,059 --> 00:05:31,275
meet our out field, Madeline, Jennifer, and Michelle, our third baseman Liane the riffle, and this ... is ... Bunny
56
00:05:36,548 --> 00:05:43,805
- you expect me to play with a team full of chicks ?
- hey squirt, three of us play for Boston college
57
00:05:43,805 --> 00:05:48,428
- I play for Florida State
- and I play the main stage at "topless topless topless"
58
00:05:50,964 --> 00:05:55,005
she strips, to take me out to the ball game
59
00:05:56,299 --> 00:05:59,913
wait wait, Sharon, what's the matter, you're afraid you're not gonna be the best girl on the team?
60
00:06:00,513 --> 00:06:05,624
- we'll see, alright girls, let's hit the cages
- oh, I don't feel like dancing
61
00:06:10,429 --> 00:06:13,716
- the bating cages
- oh
62
00:06:21,285 --> 00:06:28,087
- alright, eight players, we're one short
- I know, I was counting on Bill, but this cup thing caught me off guard
63
00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:31,949
- alright, who're we gonna get ?
- you know ! I love baseball
64
00:06:33,286 --> 00:06:39,630
but they said I threw the world series, I was banned from the game and thought I would never play again
65
00:06:39,988 --> 00:06:49,093
then one day, this couk in Iowa tears up his farm to make a baseball field, he built it, we came
66
00:06:52,564 --> 00:06:57,295
that's, that's terrific, listen, we're just gonna step over here into reality
67
00:06:59,807 --> 00:07:02,727
- yes
- Pete, it's pinball girl
68
00:07:02,727 --> 00:07:04,845
ah, she comes in here just to torture me
69
00:07:04,845 --> 00:07:06,849
"ease his pain"
70
00:07:09,254 --> 00:07:14,113
look Pete, you've been drooling over this girl for three months, go talk to her
71
00:07:14,113 --> 00:07:17,767
- no, she's way outta my league
- "go the distance"
72
00:07:22,082 --> 00:07:28,181
Pete, don't you see, now we have a softball team
look, don't forget why we got into this
73
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:31,973
- what? to be shallow and manipulate women ?
- there you go
74
00:07:32,242 --> 00:07:33,163
can I have some change?
75
00:07:35,072 --> 00:07:39,578
- um
- thanks
76
00:07:41,722 --> 00:07:43,137
"don't be a woos"
77
00:07:49,045 --> 00:07:56,533
ah, excuse me, can I talk to you for a
hi, um, you know, I couldn't help but no
78
00:08:00,173 --> 00:08:02,518
hey look, here dad wants to play catch with you
79
00:08:06,605 --> 00:08:14,174
you know I couldn't help but notice that you are a really good pinball player
you know, nobody hits the crazy horse multi bonus bomb more that you
80
00:08:14,174 --> 00:08:17,371
- thanks
- so you must be great at softball
81
00:08:17,994 --> 00:08:20,641
- why is that ?
- I don't know
82
00:08:22,398 --> 00:08:26,314
but, but, my friend and I are starting up a team and we're looking for a ninth player
83
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:32,557
I love softball, when I was little I used to play with my brothers
I used to beg them to let me pitch
84
00:08:32,557 --> 00:08:36,281
- that's fine cause we're looking for a pitcher
- can you get me on the team ?
85
00:08:38,276 --> 00:08:42,363
I'll have to ask the coach
coach says yes
86
00:08:43,502 --> 00:08:44,141
alright
87
00:08:44,141 --> 00:08:45,709
- I'm Pete
- April
88
00:08:46,545 --> 00:08:51,027
- so I'll see you saturday 3 o'clock at Bill Bakner park
- I'll be there
89
00:08:54,883 --> 00:08:58,987
Pete Dunvill with the play of the day
90
00:09:05,505 --> 00:09:09,871
- hey, how'd my team do ?
- 16 to nothing
91
00:09:09,871 --> 00:09:16,524
the empire called the game after the first inning, it's called the mercy rule, saves the losing team from further embarrassment
92
00:09:16,524 --> 00:09:24,026
alright Beacon Street Pizza
bring the team in, I'll give'em all free .. medium .. salads
93
00:09:25,051 --> 00:09:28,907
- thanks Bill
- Tessio is going down
94
00:09:33,967 --> 00:09:43,297
- are you like a compulsive liar or can you control it?
- I didn't lie, I said 16 to nothing, I just didn't tell that we were the .. nothing
95
00:09:43,697 --> 00:09:47,864
I can't believe we lost to .. Flowers By Bruce
96
00:09:49,988 --> 00:09:55,333
- Sharon shake it off, alright, it was our first game, we'll get better
- yeah, we shoot April in the head
97
00:09:55,333 --> 00:10:01,986
- well, you know, you know, it's so easy to blame April
- actually Pete, it is
98
00:10:03,275 --> 00:10:07,602
- she walked the first twelve batters
- yeah, alright, but then she settled down
99
00:10:07,602 --> 00:10:11,611
- she found the rhythm
- her home run rhythm
100
00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:17,642
- what was that, six in a row ?
- you should've pulled her, he told me I could pitch
101
00:10:17,642 --> 00:10:19,217
alright, Sharon you're over reacting
102
00:10:25,138 --> 00:10:34,194
- "Thank you for our first ever win", Flowers By Bruce
- it was fun, you keep in touch
103
00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:45,623
well, look who made a friend
104
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:53,203
alright, that's it, April's not pitching again since I am
you got a problem with that, I'll kick your ass
105
00:10:56,036 --> 00:10:58,889
can I take these flowers? they're really brighten up my kitchen
106
00:11:01,859 --> 00:11:05,081
- what is with her?
- what is with you?
107
00:11:05,686 --> 00:11:09,884
- what happened to mister "I hate to lose"?
- he finally met pinball girl
108
00:11:11,517 --> 00:11:20,810
well, good for you, but that doesn't help me with the rest of the girls
look, they want April out, Bunny, quite frankly was embarrassed
109
00:11:21,308 --> 00:11:28,788
- Bunny? the exotic pole dancer in right field was embarrassed
- she's a champion pole dancer
110
00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:32,243
they retired her thong
111
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:42,259
alright, you know what, forget it, April loves to pitch, and I want April to love me, end of story
112
00:11:42,259 --> 00:11:49,590
boys, I just got off the phone with that stuffed pepper Tessio
made a little bet on saturday's game
113
00:11:49,590 --> 00:11:55,021
- how little? we're talking little right?
- oh no, if we kick Tessio's butt
114
00:11:55,021 --> 00:12:01,079
he and his delivery boys and to stand in front of their own restaurant and pass out flyers for Beacon street Pizza
115
00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:07,227
- that doesn't sound so big
- dressed as meat-balls and calzones
116
00:12:09,716 --> 00:12:18,589
- and so, uh, if we were to lose
- 16 and nothing, hey my boys aren't gonna lose, my boys are winners
117
00:12:25,051 --> 00:12:28,705
don't worry, I think you look good in anything
118
00:12:32,378 --> 00:12:39,146
there are three things I don't wear, sandals, turtle necks, and italian food
119
00:12:40,421 --> 00:12:47,195
look, just tell April she can play right field, Sharon will pitch and we'll move Bunny to second
so she can be closer to me on first
120
00:12:47,405 --> 00:12:52,292
- hi coach, can I talk to you for a minute
- he'll be right there
121
00:12:54,883 --> 00:13:04,787
- you're doing her a favor, she's humiliating herself out there
- yeah I know you're right, but she looks so cute in her uniform
122
00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:13,254
just relax ok, take a deep breath, and I want you to picture you and me, dressed up as a number four combo
123
00:13:15,564 --> 00:13:16,458
hey coach
124
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:20,270
- April
- tough game today
125
00:13:20,894 --> 00:13:25,484
- yeah yeah, you know April
- Pete, you were so wonderful
126
00:13:25,963 --> 00:13:29,524
anyone else would have pulled me out of the game and stuck me in right field
127
00:13:29,524 --> 00:13:34,777
- yeah but you s
- but I know you have confidence in me so next game, I'm gonna prove you right
128
00:13:34,777 --> 00:13:39,250
- but I
- but I know it won't be easy, so we're gonna have to work together every night this week
129
00:13:43,737 --> 00:13:44,600
every night ?
130
00:13:45,657 --> 00:13:55,991
and after the game, we can celebrate at my parents house on the Cape
they're in Europe
131
00:13:59,134 --> 00:14:00,711
so what were you gonna tell me?
132
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:04,521
I
133
00:14:09,595 --> 00:14:10,921
ice that arm
134
00:14:16,854 --> 00:14:26,724
- ah, that's better
- lucky I'm a doctor, you had a big knot in your thigh
135
00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:34,438
- thanks
- you know, I'm thinking of specializing, in exotic dance medicine
136
00:14:39,386 --> 00:14:42,960
- Berg
- Bill, Bill! what're doing here?
137
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:50,822
came to see my team kill Tessio's
why the cheerleader's playing catch?
138
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:55,711
those aren't the cheerleaders, that's the team
you see, it's a co-et league
139
00:14:55,711 --> 00:15:01,149
yeah I know, but you only need two girls, you hide one in right field,
and you bury the other as designated hitter
140
00:15:02,351 --> 00:15:05,113
oh, April, put a jacket on that pitching arm
141
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:07,794
April, you're pitcher's name is April ?!
142
00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:10,940
- hi, I'm Bunny
- right field
143
00:15:12,863 --> 00:15:15,805
- what're looking at?
- a meat-ball and a calzone
144
00:15:16,554 --> 00:15:21,308
look at the size of the guys from Tessio's
oh my God, those are the women!
145
00:15:21,675 --> 00:15:22,645
play ball
146
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:26,291
go
147
00:15:27,278 --> 00:15:29,287
- start us off
- at the middle
148
00:15:29,287 --> 00:15:31,473
- cute shoes
- thanks
149
00:15:32,843 --> 00:15:39,037
okay, I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing you haven't told April she's not the pitcher
150
00:15:42,961 --> 00:15:47,689
- finally, our first hit
- of the game
151
00:15:52,817 --> 00:15:57,938
look I'm telling, Berg, she's been working really hard all week, alright, it's only fair to let her start
152
00:15:58,701 --> 00:02:30,149
alright
153
00:16:02,359 --> 00:16:05,361
alright, these cheerleaders' got game
154
00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:09,994
- alright I'm up
- wow wow, send in one of the girls
155
00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:17,420
- yo Madeline, grab a bat
- hey Tessio, you don't know a strike zone from a calzone
156
00:16:17,911 --> 00:16:20,035
- I just made that up
- really!
157
00:16:20,035 --> 00:16:20,298
yeah
158
00:16:27,292 --> 00:16:29,066
alright alright, I'm up
159
00:16:31,759 --> 00:16:41,447
but listen, if April starts sucking up a storm out there you're gonna pull here out
and put in Sharon, we can't afford to lose ... this game
160
00:16:42,031 --> 00:16:49,739
- okay, but if you excuse me, I have some runners to drive in
- I think you're gonna have to take that up with the natural
161
00:18:10,949 --> 00:18:16,924
- alright April, a fire in there
- ball three
162
00:18:17,194 --> 00:18:23,152
- hey Pete, what size meat-ball do you wear?
- alright, time out, time out
163
00:18:26,195 --> 00:18:29,075
- I know, I know, I have to step towards the plate
- no it's fine
164
00:18:29,075 --> 00:18:30,794
- my release point's off
- no that's great
165
00:18:30,794 --> 00:18:34,459
losing my concentration I can't stop thinking about you and me at the Cape
166
00:18:35,638 --> 00:18:37,730
remember between the shoulders and the knees
167
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:44,706
great job April, you're the best
okay, she's gotta go
168
00:18:46,530 --> 00:18:53,184
- look, she's really looking forward to take me to the Cape
- if you don't pull April out, right now, we're gonna lose
169
00:18:53,869 --> 00:18:57,251
- are you willing to sacrifice the team so that you can have sex?
- yes
170
00:18:57,251 --> 00:18:59,106
I've gotta respect that
171
00:19:02,012 --> 00:19:03,917
- you do?
- absolutely
172
00:19:07,017 --> 00:19:12,652
damn, I wish I could respect that
look, this is all wrong, it's all wrong
173
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:18,083
I can't do this to you, I can't do it to the team
April, alright, ah right field
174
00:19:18,083 --> 00:19:20,306
Bunny second base
Sharo
175
00:19:20,306 --> 00:19:22,870
- up the rock
- hey, wow wow wow
176
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:27,838
- now listen, Tessio, he loves to crowd the play
- not my play
177
00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:37,477
- third ball
- well well well, look who's on the mount, thinker bell
178
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:40,866
don't hurt your dusting arm
179
00:19:51,493 --> 00:19:54,886
- hey, you hit Tessio
- he was crowding the play
180
00:19:54,886 --> 00:19:57,266
- you did that on purpose
- come on
181
00:19:57,266 --> 00:19:58,159
- come on
- yeah
182
00:19:59,345 --> 00:20:05,083
- wow wow wow, I can't hit you, you're a girl
- there're all girls
183
00:20:05,083 --> 00:20:06,745
except those two
184
00:20:14,545 --> 00:20:16,286
- hey it was nice working with you
- it's been a real pleasure
185
00:20:16,286 --> 00:20:16,679
yeah
186
00:20:26,698 --> 00:20:31,637
- eat at Tessio's best pizza in Boston
- Pete, smile
187
00:20:32,618 --> 00:20:36,323
wait wait wait, my sauce is crooked
188
00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:41,577
- say "cheese"
- bite me
189
00:20:49,493 --> 00:20:56,439
- man, Berg, Bill is never ever gonna forgive us for this
- oh relax, he's got a healthy sense of humor
190
00:21:00,309 --> 00:21:03,042
I'm not even talking to you guys
191
00:21:12,367 --> 00:21:17,770
now how can you tell me, that genetic engineering could possibly benefit society?
192
00:21:17,770 --> 00:21:22,233
through out human history, we've been frightened by technological advancement
193
00:21:22,930 --> 00:21:27,425
- yet we've always adapted to it
- he's right, it's not the technological advancement that we should fear
194
00:21:27,425 --> 00:21:30,322
but the misapplication of it by unstable minds
19524
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