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1
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Scalpel
2
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I cannot beleive they let you in
medical school
3
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Neither can I
4
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Melon bowler
5
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MELON BOWLER
6
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Pete, I gotta tell ya
7
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no, don't tell me now
I'm busy
8
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busy !
the cats in the cradle Pete
9
00:00:46,933 --> 00:00:48,767
before you know it I'll be all grown up
10
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,467
Berg, my big presentation to the museum
bord is tonight
11
00:00:53,467 --> 00:00:56,233
Now if they choose my design, it will actually
get built
12
00:00:56,233 --> 00:00:58,767
most architects when they graduate they
only have a bunch of blueprints
13
00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:03,333
I am going to have a 12,000 square foot resume
14
00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:08,833
Man, you're gonna need one hell of a manila envelope !
15
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alright !
what's in the box ?
16
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I think I found my calling with medicine
17
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ah, good for you
18
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you should've seen the girls watching
me buy this stuff
19
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med's school is all about love and toys
20
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Berg, as long as you're in it for the right reasons
21
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Socrates, meet guy with removable brain !
22
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removable brain, meet Pete
23
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nice haircut !
24
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10:30 am taking six dose of invactolab
experimental alergizic
25
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this time I'm hoping "milk" will improve the taste
26
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it doesn't
27
00:02:11,567 --> 00:02:12,933
don't you think it's time to stope these experiments !
28
00:02:14,033 --> 00:02:17,500
Hey ! accessories don't come cheap
unless you forget, I'm a doctor
29
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You're not a doctor
30
00:02:19,667 --> 00:02:22,767
then how come I have one of these ?
31
00:02:23,900 --> 00:02:25,867
why do you need a beeper ?
32
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Image Pete, it's so important
33
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ok Berg, I have a whole stack of mill cards
to go over before tonight, so ...
34
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you know ! the brain is like a gas tank
when it's full, it's full
35
00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:43,133
you know this stuff
speak from passion, not, from cards
36
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what the hell is the matter with you ?
37
00:02:49,733 --> 00:02:51,300
trust me, I'm your doctor
38
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YOU'RE NOT A DOCTOR
39
00:02:57,533 --> 00:03:02,733
ok, Berg, look
I'm not an architecture for the beeper and the babes, ok ?
40
00:03:03,133 --> 00:03:05,867
you and this, this med school is gonna last for what ?
six weeks !
41
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,567
then you're gonna go on to forestry because
you think you look good in green !
42
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I do !
43
00:03:15,718 --> 00:03:18,408
Berg look, you're not fooling anyone
44
00:03:18,514 --> 00:03:21,926
you're having a hard time accepting the fact that
there're a new kid in town
45
00:03:22,897 --> 00:03:27,200
a dedicated kid, a kid named "Doctor Bergin"
46
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:31,334
well, I guess you're gonna have to get used to it buddy
cause he's here to stay !
47
00:03:37,313 --> 00:03:39,776
I really had no place to go !
48
00:03:45,752 --> 00:03:54,368
Watch, as I make the incision being carefull not to tear the
interstitial fiber or in this case the canadian bacon !
49
00:03:55,533 --> 00:03:57,498
I couldn't be more proud
50
00:03:57,861 --> 00:03:58,883
spatula
51
00:03:59,499 --> 00:04:02,289
Dr. Berg to table 4, stat !
52
00:04:03,802 --> 00:04:06,720
Damn it Pete, I'm a doctor not a waiter
53
00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:15,978
you know, El and I always dreamed to have a son who becomes a doctor
54
00:04:17,569 --> 00:04:20,346
Bill !
what about an architect ?
55
00:04:20,706 --> 00:04:25,411
well, I've already got a building
I need free medical
56
00:04:33,605 --> 00:04:36,373
ok, yeah, see ya then
57
00:04:36,783 --> 00:04:38,339
who's that ?
58
00:04:38,618 --> 00:04:41,027
my boss
you wanna join us ?
59
00:04:41,741 --> 00:04:44,056
no, I can't Sharon, I have my big presentation tonight
60
00:04:44,512 --> 00:04:46,473
oh yeah, that's great, you're gonna do great
61
00:04:46,473 --> 00:04:48,162
oh, you think ?
62
00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:51,163
I donno
I've got my own mess to deal with
63
00:04:51,455 --> 00:04:56,072
My company is manufacturing this new pesticide
we claim it kills bugs faster
64
00:04:56,375 --> 00:04:59,577
but the research shows that it takes the same
amount of time for them to die !
65
00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:04,498
my boss wants ME to detroy the evidence
is that wrong ?
66
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:06,672
who cares as long as they're dead !
67
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,912
what are you gonna crusade to end bug suffering ?
68
00:05:11,076 --> 00:05:17,139
you know Sharon, I learnd in my PCM class
that's, ah, Preparation for Clinical Medicine
69
00:05:18,124 --> 00:05:22,720
that full disclosure is the foundation of a
strong patient-doctor relationship
70
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:27,153
now, I believe the same holds true in business
you have an ethical duty to tell the truth
71
00:05:28,423 --> 00:05:33,888
Sharon, you work for a chemical company
you have no ethics
72
00:05:37,069 --> 00:05:38,458
Berg's right, I'm blowing the whistle
73
00:05:38,458 --> 00:05:40,172
wait, wait, you're not gonna actually listen to him
74
00:05:40,172 --> 00:05:41,184
well !
75
00:05:41,184 --> 00:05:45,974
wait wait, this is Berg, the same guy who wanted to put
a bat hole between our appartments !
76
00:05:47,424 --> 00:05:48,963
Yeah
but now he's a doctor
77
00:05:54,051 --> 00:05:57,145
trying the powder with root beer
78
00:06:19,229 --> 00:06:24,596
Sorry, oh God I have this terrible caugh
it started at my head and now it's moving to my chest
79
00:06:24,596 --> 00:06:25,652
you should go see a doctor
80
00:06:26,118 --> 00:06:27,750
somebody say "doctor" ?
81
00:06:28,015 --> 00:06:29,255
I don't think so ...
82
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,673
This thing does not give you a license
to grope my girlfriend
83
00:06:34,008 --> 00:06:39,453
Peter, I am shocked
I'm in the profession of healing mister !
84
00:06:39,734 --> 00:06:41,527
this is my job
85
00:06:43,492 --> 00:06:44,313
now Melissa
86
00:06:45,311 --> 00:06:47,499
if would kindly disrobe down to your socks !
No
87
00:06:55,444 --> 00:06:57,273
Berg, is this milk bad ?
88
00:06:57,694 --> 00:07:01,051
hey, like, like I don't know if mild is bad ?
ok
89
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,253
smells good to me
90
00:07:10,709 --> 00:07:13,874
am I the only one that knows what's going on here ?
91
00:07:14,305 --> 00:07:16,811
you are not alone my friend !
92
00:07:18,266 --> 00:07:22,005
I was once the favorite
everyone looked up to me
93
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:33,874
showing off all of his fancy gadgets to all my friends
I was just a pull-string cowboy, how could I compete ?
94
00:07:42,875 --> 00:07:44,987
to infinity and beyond my ass
95
00:07:47,744 --> 00:07:49,618
ok, I gotta get outta here, Bill
96
00:07:49,686 --> 00:07:51,080
you think I can get the afternoon off ?
97
00:07:51,633 --> 00:07:55,260
actually Bill, I could really use the afternoon off myself !
98
00:07:55,502 --> 00:07:57,547
what're you doing ?
I have to practice my presentation
99
00:07:58,232 --> 00:07:59,961
I'm helping you, remember ?
100
00:08:00,759 --> 00:08:05,617
your tank over fills, all of a sudden knowledge is spilling out
all over the place
101
00:08:05,757 --> 00:08:07,502
well, I need one of you !
102
00:08:08,401 --> 00:08:14,197
alright look, Bill, my big presentation is tonight
I just need a few more hours to practice
103
00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:17,404
I'm telling you
if I get this...
104
00:08:18,202 --> 00:08:21,964
look, this one moment could decide my entire future
105
00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:24,906
I have a quiz
106
00:08:24,906 --> 00:08:26,324
Ok Berg, see you tomorrow
107
00:08:32,357 --> 00:08:34,866
late, late, I'm late
108
00:08:37,649 --> 00:08:40,673
what're doing ?
I thought you were studying !
109
00:08:40,953 --> 00:08:41,164
I am
110
00:08:41,424 --> 00:08:44,145
you're watching "general hospital" !
111
00:08:45,497 --> 00:08:48,923
I'm studying "general hopital"
I'm trying to get the walk down
112
00:08:50,159 --> 00:08:55,448
check out how Dr. Scanlen moves
in slow, confident steps
113
00:09:04,019 --> 00:09:06,752
he lets the beeper show under his lab coat
114
00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:09,792
notice the head tilt
115
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:14,568
Felica, a drink after surgery ?
116
00:09:15,384 --> 00:09:18,442
see right there, that's stuff you can't learn from a book
117
00:09:18,442 --> 00:09:22,740
I can't believe
I had to cover for you, and you're up here screwing around
118
00:09:23,261 --> 00:09:25,870
I already finish studying for my exam
you wanna know why ?
119
00:09:25,870 --> 00:09:26,895
don't say your brain is full
120
00:09:26,895 --> 00:09:28,807
my brain, is full
121
00:09:30,178 --> 00:09:37,540
Berg, look, you can't just walk throught medical school all fancy bree
It takes dedication and commitment to become a doctor
122
00:09:37,934 --> 00:09:40,665
I'm sorry, I.. I thought you just said "fancy free" !
123
00:09:40,665 --> 00:09:42,931
you know what, you're hopeless
124
00:09:49,568 --> 00:09:54,607
you know Pete, a tip from your doctor
eating quickly, bad for the digestion
125
00:09:54,607 --> 00:09:57,137
well, lucky for me
you're not a doctor
126
00:09:59,681 --> 00:10:02,133
Pete, help me help you
127
00:10:02,133 --> 00:10:10,100
Berg, look, I'm beyond help, ok ?
I'm gonna go into that presentation and crash like the hindenburg
128
00:10:10,788 --> 00:10:13,587
wow wow wow wow
just relax for a sec
129
00:10:14,186 --> 00:10:16,746
take a deep breath
you always say how your stuff didnt do any good
130
00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:20,462
and how its a complete disaster
but it always turns out great
131
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:26,882
so tonight, I need you to go in there
and show those people what I already know
132
00:10:27,150 --> 00:10:30,068
hey, that you ...
133
00:10:30,866 --> 00:10:32,844
rock
134
00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:35,849
I rock ?
135
00:10:38,995 --> 00:10:39,801
thanks Berg
136
00:10:39,801 --> 00:10:43,664
thanks nothing
now go getem you psychopath
137
00:10:45,473 --> 00:10:51,786
5:45 Ive found that the orange juice makes
the alergys powder more palabel
138
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,724
PETE
139
00:11:04,818 --> 00:11:13,915
5:46 my roomate has just injested 400 times
the daily dosage in just under 20 seconds
140
00:11:15,566 --> 00:11:17,454
this will most likely be fatal
141
00:11:19,317 --> 00:11:20,845
for me !
142
00:11:22,456 --> 00:11:28,639
listen, I might, have, poisoned my friend
and, I need to know the side effects
143
00:11:29,198 --> 00:11:32,827
its a medical emergency
no, dont put me on hold, dont put me on ...
144
00:11:33,501 --> 00:11:41,395
and away, my beautiful, my beautiful
145
00:11:41,609 --> 00:11:44,377
baloon
146
00:11:45,721 --> 00:11:49,797
so, Im at our monthly coord meeting
and the CEO is at the head of the table
147
00:11:50,252 --> 00:11:56,500
I stand up and I tell them that I have proof that their bugs
die in six seconds just like they always have !
148
00:11:57,531 --> 00:11:58,946
room go silent
149
00:11:58,946 --> 00:12:06,290
then the CEO stands up, and you know what he says
3 seconds, 6 seconds, who cares, theyre bugs
150
00:12:07,354 --> 00:12:08,793
everyone, laughed at me
151
00:12:08,793 --> 00:12:14,831
so I just came over to thank you for personelly guiding me
into the most humiliating moment of my life !
152
00:12:14,831 --> 00:12:17,591
hold that thought, I may have poisoned Pete !
153
00:12:19,427 --> 00:12:24,532
yeah, go ahead, so possible side-effects are ...
sweating, stammering and ...
154
00:12:25,128 --> 00:12:26,416
Im sorry !?
155
00:12:26,790 --> 00:12:28,453
He may become delusional
156
00:12:29,161 --> 00:12:33,097
well, what the hell kind of side-effect is delusional ?
157
00:12:34,362 --> 00:12:37,262
havent you people ever heard of diarrhea ?
158
00:12:39,194 --> 00:12:40,888
you poisoned Pete ?
159
00:12:40,888 --> 00:12:43,649
and he just left to go do his big presentation
160
00:12:43,987 --> 00:12:45,579
ah, that is so unfair
161
00:12:45,579 --> 00:12:46,432
I know
162
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:50,288
on the one day I could really hate you, Pete steals my thunder !
163
00:12:50,288 --> 00:12:52,315
dont be mad at Pete
164
00:12:56,294 --> 00:12:57,260
well said
165
00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:03,602
huh, top that, zero
166
00:13:06,106 --> 00:13:07,754
do I know you ?
167
00:13:09,524 --> 00:13:10,438
Peter Dunville
168
00:13:10,438 --> 00:13:11,198
here
169
00:13:11,198 --> 00:13:11,926
youre next
170
00:13:11,926 --> 00:13:12,526
ok
171
00:13:13,942 --> 00:13:15,095
youre welcome
172
00:13:15,684 --> 00:13:17,915
I, I mean, uh, thanks
173
00:13:20,723 --> 00:13:21,987
I, I mean thanks for welcoming me
174
00:13:22,731 --> 00:13:24,435
- youre welcome
- thanks
175
00:13:28,443 --> 00:13:31,740
oh, thank God
at least he got here
176
00:13:32,084 --> 00:13:32,927
we have to stopm
177
00:13:32,927 --> 00:13:37,071
no, come on, calm down
they said they were only possible side-effects
178
00:13:40,142 --> 00:13:42,046
psssst, Pete
179
00:13:47,223 --> 00:13:48,949
would you excuse me for just a moment ?
180
00:13:48,949 --> 00:13:52,821
yes of course
I live to wait
181
00:13:55,522 --> 00:13:56,703
what are you guys doing here ?
182
00:13:57,041 --> 00:13:59,334
well, I, I, I thought we come down to observe you
183
00:13:59,701 --> 00:14:01,687
he means lend our support
184
00:14:02,625 --> 00:14:06,769
Mr. Dunville
before my bones turn to dust !
185
00:14:17,487 --> 00:14:22,352
Ladies, g.. gentelmen
distingushed museum trusties
186
00:14:22,674 --> 00:14:23,641
in reviewing ...
187
00:14:26,314 --> 00:14:28,274
Im sor..., is it hot in here ?
188
00:14:28,274 --> 00:14:29,386
no
189
00:14:31,195 --> 00:14:35,072
oh God, hes sweating
what, what kinda doctor am I ?
190
00:14:35,072 --> 00:14:36,856
hes pete, he sweats
191
00:14:37,306 --> 00:14:39,534
and youre NOT a doctor
192
00:14:40,094 --> 00:14:42,682
- where was I ?
- at the begining
193
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:51,656
now, my.. my.. my intent was to accent the axile design
with more modern mills .. more modern memelist ..
194
00:14:51,684 --> 00:14:52,426
sorry
195
00:14:53,169 --> 00:14:55,000
ah.. a more medelist
196
00:14:56,168 --> 00:14:57,638
just new and simple
197
00:14:59,021 --> 00:15:00,635
- stammering
- nervous
198
00:15:00,635 --> 00:15:02,876
well, he should have prepared more
199
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:07,772
now the.. the.. the.. front of the building ...
Im sorry
200
00:15:15,626 --> 00:15:25,619
ok, I see.. I see.. huge crazy shapes, alright
a.. a.. and a giant Jake in the box
201
00:15:25,619 --> 00:15:26,705
Jake in the box ?
202
00:15:27,296 --> 00:15:32,366
yeah, yeah, a giant Jake in the box
th.. th.. thatll pop up and greet the visitors
203
00:15:32,717 --> 00:15:36,813
a..a.. its coned head, swing two storied high
204
00:15:38,969 --> 00:15:41,236
and oh, itll say something like, like ...
205
00:15:41,612 --> 00:15:45,006
hoa hoa hoa, hello boys and girls
206
00:15:45,006 --> 00:15:48,205
oh great, hes delusional
ok, take him down
207
00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:51,778
okay, thats it, enough
208
00:15:51,778 --> 00:15:52,489
whatre doing ?
209
00:15:52,697 --> 00:15:54,570
- Im saving you
- no, youre really not
210
00:15:54,791 --> 00:15:57,389
- yes, I am
- excuse me !
211
00:15:57,389 --> 00:16:01,277
Im sorry
Im this mans doctor
212
00:16:02,893 --> 00:16:06,429
youre not a doctor
hes not a doctor
213
00:16:06,854 --> 00:16:12,288
Mr. Dunville has accidently injested a medication which is causing
the delusional behavior youre witnessing
214
00:16:12,608 --> 00:16:17,712
I dont even know this guy !
but, with the exitment that the Jake in the box is causing, its infectious
215
00:16:18,195 --> 00:16:22,356
Pete, believe me, every second counts
you drank my alergezik medication
216
00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:24,907
youre sweating, youre stammering, youre delusional !
217
00:16:24,907 --> 00:16:27,183
you dont know what youre talking about Berg
Im just a little nervous
218
00:16:27,599 --> 00:16:36,429
oh yeah ?
then what kind of museum has a huge jake in the box ?
219
00:16:37,541 --> 00:16:43,486
and stupid voices goin hello boys and girls?
220
00:16:45,210 --> 00:16:47,386
a childrens museum ?!
221
00:16:49,370 --> 00:16:50,847
what ?
222
00:16:52,007 --> 00:16:54,985
this is for a, childrens museum, Berg
223
00:16:55,650 --> 00:16:56,561
oh
224
00:16:59,179 --> 00:17:00,938
but, but, you drank the orange juice
225
00:17:00,938 --> 00:17:06,388
I hate the orange juice, Berg I drank the grape fruit juice
so who drank the orange juice ?
226
00:17:11,573 --> 00:17:13,130
- Oh
- Oh
227
00:17:15,380 --> 00:17:17,900
so, Im the one whos delusional !?
228
00:17:18,523 --> 00:17:21,084
thank God, I thought it was me
229
00:17:22,384 --> 00:17:27,375
well, doctors
this explains a great deal
230
00:17:27,901 --> 00:17:32,292
it turns out that I injested my own mededation
231
00:17:33,877 --> 00:17:36,062
medication
232
00:17:37,976 --> 00:17:41,408
Pete, what are you doing here ?
233
00:17:42,616 --> 00:17:47,224
Sharon, hes ruining my presentation
hes ruining my presentation
234
00:17:47,224 --> 00:17:49,726
yes, were all aware of that
235
00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:51,957
well be going
236
00:17:51,957 --> 00:17:55,343
are you sure you dont want to spin plates as a finale ?
237
00:17:56,888 --> 00:18:02,304
- listen pal, Ive had a really bad day
- join the club
238
00:18:03,197 --> 00:18:05,773
hey, you wanna piece of me, huh ?
239
00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:29,341
captains log, start date, 6-4-4-1 the klingons have surrounded
us in our attempt to abord the enterprise
240
00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:32,803
Kirk out
241
00:18:35,595 --> 00:18:39,928
Mr. Sulu, take us to worp factor
242
00:18:40,392 --> 00:18:41,489
nice dress
243
00:18:42,651 --> 00:18:44,718
BERG
244
00:18:44,718 --> 00:18:45,722
Klingons
bones
245
00:18:45,722 --> 00:18:47,346
idiot
246
00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:51,651
Berg, get out here, right now
247
00:18:52,583 --> 00:18:56,076
Scotty, beam me up, now !
248
00:18:59,191 --> 00:19:02,470
wait here
Ill send help
249
00:19:07,389 --> 00:19:10,060
youre doing great Pete
250
00:19:19,061 --> 00:19:23,085
ok, now that I got your attention
251
00:19:28,095 --> 00:19:34,054
- I screwed up big time
- finally, an accurate diagnosis
252
00:19:34,054 --> 00:19:36,685
look, maybe this doctor thing isnt such a good idea
253
00:19:37,830 --> 00:19:42,231
what responsible physician leaves unmarked
medicine in the refrigerator !
254
00:19:42,231 --> 00:19:46,007
Berg, youre not a physician, youre a med student
give yourself a break
255
00:19:46,007 --> 00:19:52,054
no, no, see, you said it yourself
it takes dedication and commitment
256
00:19:52,054 --> 00:19:58,175
alright, listen to me, Berg, this is the first time in your life that youre
doing something where you dont know all the answers
257
00:19:58,703 --> 00:20:03,824
this is great, youre scared, and youre scared because
you might finally care about something
258
00:20:05,021 --> 00:20:08,840
- why do I screw up ?
- because youre Berg
259
00:20:09,313 --> 00:20:12,279
besides you cant quit now
260
00:20:13,125 --> 00:20:15,133
you already paid for the beeper
261
00:20:16,974 --> 00:20:18,806
I also got the walk down
262
00:20:18,806 --> 00:20:23,981
you know I hear thats the hardest part
youll be a good surgent
263
00:20:25,147 --> 00:20:29,587
- youll rock
- thanks
264
00:20:30,013 --> 00:20:35,494
listen, when youre a big famous surgent, look me up
Ill be the guy in Rino designing the trailer parks
265
00:20:37,948 --> 00:20:43,470
that reminds me, Mr. Sulu called last night
you got the job
266
00:20:43,692 --> 00:20:45,554
I got the job
how could that be ?
267
00:20:45,554 --> 00:10:18,187
right here
268
00:20:47,399 --> 00:20:51,150
loved your design, hate your friends
269
00:20:52,901 --> 00:20:55,041
how come you didnt tell me they called last night ?
270
00:20:55,357 --> 00:20:58,299
well last night I was too busy arguing with the sofa
271
00:21:00,345 --> 00:21:04,729
oh my God
Ive got a big meeting at three
272
00:21:04,729 --> 00:21:07,728
three ! Berg, its ten to it
you better get moving
273
00:21:09,608 --> 00:21:13,286
no, you have a big meeting at three
274
00:21:15,689 --> 00:21:20,424
downtown ! Berg, whats the matter with you ?
how could you not tell a person ?
275
00:21:20,848 --> 00:21:24,686
hey, dont blame me because you dont have a beeper
276
00:21:27,715 --> 00:21:37,168
bones, talk to me bones, youve got to say something, weve
shed so much, its me Jim, youre comrade, youre ...
277
00:21:37,801 --> 00:21:45,793
captain, youre friend, weve got to talk about this
show some backbone man !
22910
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