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1
00:00:06,484 --> 00:00:08,051
So you'll just park here,
2
00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:09,618
and you'll find
the trailhead there.
3
00:00:09,748 --> 00:00:11,533
Now, it is bear season,
so if you see any...
4
00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:13,317
Do not hug them!
5
00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:15,145
You're gonna want to hug 'em,
but don't.
6
00:00:15,276 --> 00:00:17,191
Just, uh, keep your distance.
7
00:00:17,321 --> 00:00:19,236
Business seems to be
picking up.
8
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:20,933
Yeah.
9
00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:23,153
So far it's just been
antiquers and bird-watchers.
10
00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:25,547
Would love to find a way
to expand our customer base.
11
00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:29,246
Yes, how can we get the halls
of this once proud home
12
00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:30,900
crawling with even
more commoners?
13
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,728
Hey, babe. What's going on?
14
00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:34,034
Yeah, I just sent the guests
on a hike.
15
00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:34,991
They were raving
about the breakfast
16
00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:35,731
you cooked this morning.
17
00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:37,211
It looked amazing.
18
00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:38,342
Smellwise, I
would rank it
19
00:00:38,473 --> 00:00:40,823
somewhere between
patchouli and weed.
20
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:43,347
Speaking of cooking, you know
what else was cooking?
21
00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:46,394
My jump shot on the court today.
22
00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:48,265
TREVOR:
Ugh, I miss playing basketball.
23
00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:50,137
At Camp Ramah, I once hit
a game-winning three,
24
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:53,792
while being fouled,
and never even lost my yarmulke.
25
00:00:53,923 --> 00:00:55,490
So were you just
shooting around?
26
00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,840
No, I played pickup, and
I met some really cool locals,
27
00:00:57,970 --> 00:00:59,711
and they found out that we run
the Woodstone B and B,
28
00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:01,452
and they were so into it.
29
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:02,714
Are we, like, local celebrities?
30
00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:04,673
Hey, so listen,
31
00:01:04,803 --> 00:01:05,891
Micah mentioned that
they might want to come over
32
00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:07,328
tomorrow and watch the game.
33
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:09,504
Oh, Micah's kind of
like their leader.
34
00:01:09,634 --> 00:01:10,766
The leader?Uh...
35
00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:12,420
boss? They work together?
36
00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,378
I don't know, anyway,
would that be cool?
37
00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:16,815
Well, it sounds to me like
somebody made some friends.
38
00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:19,253
Good for you for putting
yourself out there.
39
00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:21,168
Come on, babe,
it's not that big of a deal.
40
00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:23,257
Yeah, what are you,
his mom?
41
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:24,780
No, it's just,
it's been harder on Jay.
42
00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:26,651
We both left our friends
in the city,
43
00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:28,218
but I have all you guys
to talk to.
44
00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:30,220
And I know that sometimes
he must feel left out.
45
00:01:30,351 --> 00:01:33,223
[chuckles] Yeah, like now
could be one of those times.
46
00:01:33,354 --> 00:01:35,095
Oh, sorry, I just...
47
00:01:35,225 --> 00:01:37,488
[laughs]
Exactly.
48
00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:40,230
♪ ♪
49
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,975
[birds chirping]
50
00:01:47,759 --> 00:01:49,283
Morning, roomie.
51
00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:51,285
Another beautiful day
in eternity.
52
00:01:51,415 --> 00:01:53,025
How is this my death?
53
00:01:53,156 --> 00:01:54,766
Happy three-month
roommate anniversary.
54
00:01:54,897 --> 00:01:56,377
But didn't you just wish me
55
00:01:56,507 --> 00:02:00,076
a happy quarter-year anniversary
yesterday?
56
00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:01,077
Well, yeah, that's because
months and quarters
57
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:02,731
don't always line up exactly.
58
00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:04,211
Isn't the calendar so fun?
59
00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:06,256
Pete, you're a great guy,
60
00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:09,172
and maybe it's living
in the same room together now...
61
00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:11,174
What's wrong, little buddy?
62
00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:13,394
It's just, the relentless
cheeriness, it's a lot.
63
00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,787
Okay, so you want me to be
less cheery?
64
00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:17,920
Like, all the time?
65
00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:20,531
No, no, no, just when I'm awake.
66
00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:22,098
Okay.
67
00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:24,579
Well, that sounds like
a super fun challenge.
68
00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:27,756
[sighs]
69
00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:29,845
[men shouting, clamoring]
70
00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:31,934
[all groaning][whistle blows on TV]
71
00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:33,979
Wow, this place is huge.
72
00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:35,503
How many bedrooms
did you say it was?
73
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:36,765
It's, like, nine.
74
00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:38,462
Mm.My wife inherited it,
75
00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:39,681
and then we moved up
from the city
76
00:02:39,811 --> 00:02:41,552
to turn it into a B and B.
77
00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,424
Beautiful place like this
must be booked wall-to-wall.
78
00:02:43,554 --> 00:02:46,035
Eh, we do okay,
but it's a new business.
79
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,471
We've had some
setbacks.
80
00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:48,864
Damn, check out the hottie.
81
00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:50,866
Oh, yes, she
is delect...
82
00:02:50,996 --> 00:02:52,607
Oh, wait, I don't have
to pretend anymore.
83
00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:54,043
That's nice.
84
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,350
Well, Jay, I, uh,
I have a philosophy,
85
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:57,699
born out of basketball.
86
00:02:57,829 --> 00:02:59,135
This is exciting.
87
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:00,528
He doesn't share this
with everybody.
88
00:03:00,658 --> 00:03:03,270
So, at the beginning
of every pickup game,
89
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,882
each team has a choice: take the
ball first or choose direction.
90
00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:08,579
Most people take the ball.JAY: Well, yeah.
91
00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:10,625
You want to make sure
you get off to a good start.
92
00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:12,888
MICAH: But what about the sun?
What about the wind?
93
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,324
Ball goes away,
94
00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:17,066
direction... lasts forever.
95
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,676
Interesting.
96
00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:20,983
I got a funny feeling
about this guy.
97
00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:22,680
Right? I've got tingles.
98
00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:24,160
MICAH: Jay, you chose direction
99
00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:25,248
with this B and B.
100
00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:26,728
You chose to focus
on the long run,
101
00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:29,905
but wouldn't it be nice
to have direction and ball?
102
00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:31,950
[chuckles]So nice.
103
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,692
Jay, let me show you something.
104
00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:37,695
What is that?
105
00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:40,437
This is ball.
106
00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:42,744
[sighs]
107
00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:46,138
Yes! Yes!
108
00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:48,358
Sam, we got a problem.
109
00:03:48,489 --> 00:03:50,665
These "friends" of Jay's--
and I hesitate to say this
110
00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:52,014
because the one
is very hot--
111
00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:53,276
but they got to go.
112
00:03:53,407 --> 00:03:54,625
What are you talking about?
113
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:56,366
They're into some
pyramid scheme.
114
00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:57,411
They're working for this
company that's selling
115
00:03:57,541 --> 00:03:58,716
these vitamin patches,
116
00:03:58,847 --> 00:04:00,327
and they're trying
to recruit Jay
117
00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:01,806
to sell them, too.Vitamin patches?
118
00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:03,765
It's like modern-day
snake oil.
119
00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:07,638
The cure-all elixir that gives
you vim, vigor and verve?
120
00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:09,727
What's the problem here?
121
00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:11,903
Sam, if Trevor's saying
even the hot one has to go,
122
00:04:12,034 --> 00:04:13,775
we have to take him seriously.
123
00:04:13,905 --> 00:04:15,472
That is alarming, but I'm sure
there's an innocent explanation.
124
00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:18,954
Samantha, if Jay truly
is being offered
125
00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:21,130
a snake oil opportunity,
126
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,698
one must at least
entertain the notion.
127
00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:25,352
We're not buying snake oil,
128
00:04:25,482 --> 00:04:27,702
or whatever it is
they're selling.Oh, all right,
129
00:04:27,832 --> 00:04:30,182
I guess you could
press your own snakes,
130
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:33,273
but you're going to have
to move the rugs.
131
00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:35,840
Hey, I brought snacks.
132
00:04:35,971 --> 00:04:37,364
Oh, where'’s Jay?
133
00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:39,366
He's giving Micah a tour.
134
00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:41,890
It's really exciting that
he's getting one-on-one time
135
00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:43,500
with Micah so soon.
136
00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:45,502
It took me six months,
137
00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:47,504
but then, I don't
have a mansion.
138
00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:49,593
Yeah, Norm doesn't
have a lot of things:
139
00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:51,900
self-esteem, a mother
that loved him,
140
00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:53,597
a filter when it comes to
sharing personal details.
141
00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:55,904
Norm, you're being
really negative.
142
00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:57,819
Do you think
you need to re-patch?
143
00:04:57,949 --> 00:05:00,125
No, I'm okay.Norm, re-patch.
144
00:05:00,256 --> 00:05:01,301
Okay.Thank you.
145
00:05:01,431 --> 00:05:03,041
Hot and bossy.
146
00:05:03,172 --> 00:05:05,653
Okay, she can stay.
But the rest have to go.
147
00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:07,568
Okay, so... [clears throat]
148
00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:09,396
what is the deal
with these patches?
149
00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:11,441
They're a proprietary blend
of vitamins and nutrients
150
00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:13,225
that enhance one's
quality of life.
151
00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:14,575
Okay.
152
00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:16,620
So is that, like,
based in science, or...
153
00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:18,796
The recipe came to Micah
in a dream.
154
00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:20,711
Yeah, they helped alleviate
Norm's back acne.
155
00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:23,235
He mentioned that
several times.
156
00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:24,585
And are you guys, like,
in a company?
157
00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:26,108
Are you working together or...
158
00:05:26,238 --> 00:05:28,197
I mean, we don't like
to use the term company.
159
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,851
It's more of a collective.
160
00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:32,027
We work together,
live together.
161
00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:33,420
Live together?
162
00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:35,073
Okay, this is weirder
than a pyramid scheme.
163
00:05:35,204 --> 00:05:37,554
That's because it's
not a pyramid scheme.
164
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,164
It's a cult.
165
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:41,993
You're saying Jay
accidentally joined a cult?
166
00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:45,910
Well, he's not in yet,
but it's looking good.
167
00:05:52,134 --> 00:05:53,614
This is just perfect-- Jay
finally makes some friends
168
00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:55,311
up here and they turn out
to be in a cult.
169
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:56,530
Sam, this is a good thing.
170
00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:59,271
He's gonna make
lifelong friends.
171
00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:00,621
He's not joining a cult, Flower.
172
00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:01,622
Well, what if he wants to?
173
00:06:01,752 --> 00:06:03,188
Trust me, he doesn't.
174
00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:04,712
Okay, well, be careful,
175
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:06,409
because sometimes when
a family member asks someone
176
00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:08,019
to choose between them
and the cult,
177
00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:10,021
they choose the cult.
178
00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:11,458
I just...
179
00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:12,850
I'm worried about Jay's feelings
getting hurt.
180
00:06:12,981 --> 00:06:15,113
There don't seem to be
many fun people our age
181
00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:18,769
up in this town, and he seemed
like he was so excited.
182
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:20,380
Jay just meet these people.
183
00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:21,772
He'll get over it.Mm.
184
00:06:21,903 --> 00:06:24,166
Sam, this guy
Micah's incredible.
185
00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:26,037
I mean, I've never
met anyone like him.
186
00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:27,517
Or he'll be crushed.
187
00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:28,649
Either way, it's
something to watch.
188
00:06:28,779 --> 00:06:31,434
He just has this great
perspective on life.
189
00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:33,175
It's a cult, Jay.
190
00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:34,785
He's in a cult.
He's the cult leader.
191
00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:36,918
What are you talking about?
192
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:38,398
Flower told me,
she recognized all the signs.
193
00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:40,008
Oh, Flower?
194
00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:42,271
The one who asked you what
your name was yesterday,
195
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,708
a year after we moved in?
196
00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,102
Okay, well, that's not nice
to point out.
197
00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:48,451
I want to say...
198
00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:49,974
...Larry?
199
00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:51,454
Jay, come on.
200
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,369
They all live together
in some weird collective.
201
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,153
And Micah came up
with the formula for the patch
202
00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:56,503
in a dream.
203
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,069
That's so cool.JAY: Yeah, okay,
204
00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,506
so he's a bit hippie-dippie,
I'll give you that,
205
00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:01,029
but you don't
know him yet.
206
00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:02,552
Plus, lots of people
live together.
207
00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:03,945
Your favorite show, Friends.
208
00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,599
That's about a bunch of
people who live together.
209
00:07:05,729 --> 00:07:07,992
They actually live
in three different apartments.
210
00:07:08,123 --> 00:07:09,385
It was four.
211
00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:10,604
Ross have own place
with Marcel, the monkey.
212
00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:12,127
Oh.You know what?
213
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:13,781
I'm not debating
Friendswith you, okay?
214
00:07:13,911 --> 00:07:15,173
I really like Micah
215
00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:16,697
and I hoping you'd
give him a chance.
216
00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:18,394
He's helping us out, big-time.
217
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:19,700
What do you mean?The patches.
218
00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:21,484
He gave us ten boxes for free
219
00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:22,833
to sell on consignment.
220
00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:24,139
Jay, you do not want to be
221
00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:25,575
in business with this guy.Babe,
222
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:27,055
the patches really work.
223
00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:28,839
How do you know?[short chuckle]
224
00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,885
'Cause I'm patched in, baby.
225
00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:34,541
Yay! Larry's in!
226
00:07:36,717 --> 00:07:38,022
Hey, Pete.
227
00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:40,851
Welcome to another day
in hell, bitch.
228
00:07:40,982 --> 00:07:43,027
What?From now on,
229
00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:45,943
I'm a mean old sourpuss,
just like you wanted.
230
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:48,293
No more smiles,
no more compliments,
231
00:07:48,424 --> 00:07:50,557
no more scalp massages
while you sleep
232
00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:52,559
to stimulate your dreams.Wait,
233
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:53,734
you massage me while I sleep?
234
00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:56,171
No. I used to.
235
00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:58,434
But that's all over now.
236
00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:01,306
For the rest of eternity,
you're rooming with
237
00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:03,657
a joyless, sulking void.
238
00:08:03,787 --> 00:08:05,876
Pete, I don't
know what to say.
239
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:09,140
That you miss friendly
old classic Pete now?
240
00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:10,751
No. I like this.
241
00:08:10,881 --> 00:08:12,622
Thanks, buddy.
242
00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:16,583
Son of a B-word.
243
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:22,023
Screw it. In a way,
all major religions are cults.
244
00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:24,721
Who are we to judge
these nines and tens?
245
00:08:24,852 --> 00:08:26,636
HETTY:
that Micah reminds me
246
00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,508
of a stable boy
who worked here once.
247
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:31,685
Some found his live body
desirable.
248
00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:33,861
Not me, of course,
because I am a lady.
249
00:08:33,991 --> 00:08:36,472
Ooh, yeah, touch those toes.
250
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:38,605
Hey, Micah.
251
00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:40,389
Oh, Jay. Hey.Hey.
252
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,173
Hope you don't mind,
I invited a few teammates
253
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:44,436
here to hang out at
your beautiful abode.
254
00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:46,221
Yeah, th-that should be okay.
255
00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:48,353
Look, I know some
of you guys live together,
256
00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:50,617
but this is mostly a business,
257
00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:51,966
this patch thing, right?
258
00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:53,968
Yeah. Of course, of course.
259
00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:57,885
It's a business, a community,
a way of life.
260
00:08:58,015 --> 00:09:00,322
Okay...
261
00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:02,280
Jay, please stretch, okay?
It's important to stay limber.
262
00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:03,978
Especially if you're
gonna live forever.
263
00:09:04,108 --> 00:09:06,154
Yeah, and just, uh,
when you say "live forever,"
264
00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:08,678
you mean that the patch
makes you feel like
265
00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:10,027
you're gonna live forever.
266
00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:12,334
Exactly.
Because you can.
267
00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:13,683
What was that?
268
00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:15,598
Oh, he's quite insane.
269
00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:16,904
Jay, how old
do you think I am?
270
00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:19,297
Uh, I don't know, man.
271
00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:21,386
Um, 35?
272
00:09:21,517 --> 00:09:24,564
I'm 742 years young.
273
00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:28,176
And you look great.
274
00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:34,443
Uh, Flower, you got a sec?
275
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,663
I wanted to ask you about
what you said earlier
276
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:39,100
about how sometimes people
choose a cult over their family.
277
00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:42,233
I kinda got a sense there
was more to that story.
278
00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:44,540
I don't really want
to talk about it.
279
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,629
I understand.
280
00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:51,025
Hey, Flower.
281
00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:52,896
Oh, hey, Alberta.
What's up?Girl!
282
00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:54,463
You were just telling
me the story about
283
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,900
you choosing your cult
over a family member.
284
00:09:57,031 --> 00:09:58,162
The one about my brother?
Where was I?
285
00:09:58,293 --> 00:09:59,729
At the beginning.Right.
286
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,862
Okay, well, back when
I was in the cult,
287
00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:03,690
my brother showed up,
and he tried to get me
288
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:04,995
to come home.
289
00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:06,997
So the cult banned him
from the property
290
00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:09,086
and barred me from ever
speaking to him again.
291
00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:11,872
If only he'd never tried
to get me out of that cult.
292
00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:12,699
Well, it sounded like
your brother was
293
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:14,439
just trying to protect you.
294
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:16,311
Maybe you should be angry
at the people who made you
295
00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:18,748
choose between them
and your own family.
296
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:21,316
You mean the cult?
297
00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:23,623
Yes, Flower.Huh.
298
00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:27,583
Nobody ever talks about
a cult being in the wrong.
299
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:30,673
I feel like people do.
300
00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:33,458
Sam, it is a full-blown cult.
301
00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:35,025
Now he figures it out.
302
00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:37,419
Why didn't he just listen to you
in the first place?
303
00:10:37,549 --> 00:10:39,073
Sometimes men very stubborn,
304
00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:40,596
like when Ross claim to
read Rachel's letter
305
00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:42,467
instead of just admit
he fall asleep.
306
00:10:42,598 --> 00:10:43,599
JAY:
This is bad.
307
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:46,384
He said he was 742 years old.
308
00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:47,647
Sounds young to me.
309
00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:49,474
It's okay, just calm down.
310
00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:51,389
Okay, we'll tell Micah
he has to leave,
311
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:52,913
and then we can put
this whole thing behind us.
312
00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:54,566
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
let's not be rash.
313
00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:56,699
Trevor, they're a cult.
314
00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:59,702
Yes, but this could be
a Heaven's Gate situation.
315
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:02,357
Sam, I'm just saying if
things break the right way,
316
00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:04,620
we could be looking at
some sexy new ghosts.
317
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:07,014
Let's go.Please.
318
00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:07,884
I heard them talking about
something called
319
00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:08,885
"the final patch."
320
00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:11,279
That sounded promising.
321
00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:13,020
Hey, hey, whoa.
322
00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:15,152
What is all this?They're moving in.
323
00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:16,850
We're moving in.
[chuckles]
324
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,329
Where do you want this, Micah?
325
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,984
Oh, I'm upstairs on the
left with the wives.
326
00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:23,334
[grunts] This ain't gonna
be good for business.
327
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:26,163
No, no, no, no, all of you
have to leave.
328
00:11:26,294 --> 00:11:27,730
Yeah, we're not gonna do that.
Jay, do you remember
329
00:11:27,861 --> 00:11:29,384
this very long
bill of lading
330
00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:31,081
that accompanied the box
of patches that I gave you?
331
00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:33,431
Oh, yeah, I remember that
it was very long.
332
00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:34,737
And remember that
you signed it
333
00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:35,782
and I gave you a receipt?
334
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:38,132
Oh, come on.Jay...
335
00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:39,655
Well, buried in the
fine print was a clause
336
00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:42,484
that allowed us to move in
in exchange for the patches.
337
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:44,704
See? Right there.
338
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:46,706
Oh, come on, man,
that is so tiny.
339
00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:49,621
That is a very underhanded
business maneuver.
340
00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:51,275
Tip of my cap
to you, sir.
341
00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:54,104
You all have to leave or
we are gonna call the cops.
342
00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:56,498
We have a
signed contract.
343
00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:57,978
Dude, this is insane.
344
00:11:58,108 --> 00:11:59,544
What's your plan?
You're just gonna squat
345
00:11:59,675 --> 00:12:02,243
in our house forever?Of course not. No.
346
00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:04,680
The lease explicitly says
it's for no longer
347
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:06,160
than one trillion years.
348
00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,902
So after that we'll be
out of your hair.
349
00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:10,251
Oh, thank God.
350
00:12:10,381 --> 00:12:11,861
I thought they were gonna
be here forever.
351
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,651
So the good news is the lawyer
says we are in the right,
352
00:12:19,782 --> 00:12:21,218
and the contract will
never hold up.
353
00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:22,437
ALL: Yes!Huzzah!
354
00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:23,786
But it's going
to take months
355
00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:25,092
and thousands of dollars
in legal fees.
356
00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:26,528
Months?
357
00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:28,095
We can't run a B and B
with a cult living here.
358
00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:30,140
We'll be driven
out of business.
359
00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:32,186
Pete, please just tell us
everything is gonna be okay.
360
00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:34,405
We really need some of your
Pinecone Trooper
361
00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:35,842
can-do spirit right now.
362
00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:37,365
No can do, Sam.
363
00:12:37,495 --> 00:12:39,280
I've changed.
I'm dark now.
364
00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:42,544
Because life is meaningless
and full of suffering.
365
00:12:42,674 --> 00:12:44,851
What'd he say?Nothing helpful.
366
00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:46,678
There actually is
one foolproof way
367
00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:49,333
to break up a cult,
and it's so easy.
368
00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:53,555
I'm not sleeping with Micah.Cool.
369
00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:54,861
Thanks for the update.
370
00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:56,950
It was something
Flower suggested.
371
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,081
Nothing breaks up
a cult faster
372
00:12:58,212 --> 00:13:00,214
than an outsider
sleeping with the leader.
373
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:01,998
Great. Does anybody else
have an idea?
374
00:13:02,129 --> 00:13:03,695
Samantha, just talk to them.
375
00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:06,089
As a delegate to the Second
Continental Congress,
376
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:07,961
I partook in
difficult negotiations.
377
00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:09,614
But through dialogue,
378
00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:12,313
we found interests that aligned.
379
00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:14,141
Yes, if a bunch of
white male landowners
380
00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:16,970
can find common ground,
then anything is possible.
381
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:19,450
Exactly. Point is,
I don't think they want
382
00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:21,713
a protracted legal fight either.
383
00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:23,063
That's true.
384
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:25,587
Maybe they will
listen to reason.
385
00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:28,329
Oh, sure, 'cause cults
are famously reasonable.
386
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:30,897
Not loving the new Pete.
387
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:32,768
[cheering on TV]
388
00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:34,683
Uh, what are ya'll doing?
389
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,512
I'm watching TV with Alana,
and Flower's third-wheeling it.
390
00:13:37,642 --> 00:13:38,818
Trevor, that girl don't even
know you're there.
391
00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:39,993
Listen, Flower,
392
00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:41,255
I had an idea.
393
00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:43,083
Why don'’t we look up
your brother?
394
00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:44,998
I mean, we don't know,
maybe he's still alive.
395
00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:46,303
Oh, no.
396
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:47,870
After I got out of the cult,
397
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:50,655
I heard he'd been killed
in Vietnam, so...
398
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:53,136
Oh, Flower, you poor girl.
399
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:54,790
Yeah, Flower, I'm so sorry.
400
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:57,749
I wish I'd been there
to convince him not to go.
401
00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,056
He spent his whole life
protecting me
402
00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:03,016
and the one time my big brother
needed protecting,
403
00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:04,800
I wasn't there for him.
404
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:06,062
He was MIA.
405
00:14:06,193 --> 00:14:07,498
MIA?
406
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:09,283
Murdered in action.
407
00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:13,330
Flower, MIA means
"missingin action."It does?
408
00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:14,810
It's also the airport code
for Miami, where I spent
409
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:16,681
some baller weekends.
410
00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:19,336
KIA is "killed in acion."
411
00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:22,383
Wait, so you're saying
he might still be alive?
412
00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:24,646
Well, going missing in a war
is not a great sign.
413
00:14:24,776 --> 00:14:27,127
And even if he made it out,
he may be dead by now.
414
00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:28,563
But you're saying
there's a chance?
415
00:14:28,693 --> 00:14:30,217
You want me to look him up?Look up who?
416
00:14:30,347 --> 00:14:32,262
Your brother!Oh, what about him?
417
00:14:32,393 --> 00:14:33,263
Child, just look him up.
418
00:14:33,394 --> 00:14:34,438
I'll look him up.
419
00:14:38,529 --> 00:14:41,881
[flatulence]
420
00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:44,927
I love how comfortable
she feels around me.
421
00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:47,103
JAY:
So what do you say?
422
00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:50,019
We can avoid months
of headache and cost,
423
00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:51,194
And you could just
clear out now.
424
00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:53,283
Nah, we're good.
I mean, what's a few months
425
00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:54,719
when we're gonna live forever?
426
00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:58,375
Oh, why would anyone want
to live forever?
427
00:14:58,506 --> 00:14:59,507
Tell me about it.
428
00:14:59,637 --> 00:15:01,422
Wait a minute.
429
00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:02,466
Excuse me?
430
00:15:02,597 --> 00:15:04,860
Have you ever thought about
431
00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:07,297
what living forever
would actually mean?ALANA: Of course.
432
00:15:07,428 --> 00:15:08,472
It's gonna be amazing.
433
00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:10,779
[scoffs]
I mean, in theory, yeah.
434
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,737
But for one thing, you're gonna
get sick of each other.
435
00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:14,391
[ghosts affirming]
436
00:15:14,522 --> 00:15:17,438
At least they get to change
their itchy shirts.
437
00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:18,961
A small price to pay
for the gift of eternity.
438
00:15:19,092 --> 00:15:21,659
Okay, but if you
give me a minute,
439
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:24,010
some other specifics
as to why it sucks
440
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:26,055
will come to me.
441
00:15:26,186 --> 00:15:27,535
Sunsets no longer very nice.Mm.
442
00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:30,277
THORFINN:
Same thing over and over.
443
00:15:30,407 --> 00:15:31,756
Oh, yeah. Yes.
444
00:15:31,887 --> 00:15:33,062
Eternity take what was
once beautiful
445
00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:36,065
and turn into nothing.
446
00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:38,720
Oh, sunsets, what about those?
447
00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:40,069
I mean, right now
they're beautiful,
448
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,897
but in, like, a thousand years,
449
00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:43,986
you'll have seen so many,
they will just be boring.
450
00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:45,945
Look, whatever you're
trying to do,
451
00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:47,294
it's not working.
452
00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:49,296
Nothing is gonna break us apart.So, what--
453
00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:51,472
you just want to waste
months in court
454
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:53,256
when you're gonna end up
getting kicked out anyways?
455
00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:55,215
By then, you'll be one of us.
456
00:15:55,345 --> 00:15:56,912
We're not going anywhere.
457
00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:59,523
So, unless you have
anything else to say,
458
00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:00,916
We'll be hearing
from your lawyers
459
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:02,483
and seeing you in the hallway.
460
00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:04,702
I slept with Micah.
461
00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,008
[chuckles]
462
00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:07,836
Micah would never
sleep with you.
463
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,098
You're an outsider.
464
00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:11,622
Well, it's true,
and I am sorry
465
00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:14,147
if that drives a wedge.
466
00:16:14,277 --> 00:16:15,148
Wait, is this true?
467
00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:17,019
I am so proud of you, Sam.
468
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:19,761
He talked about how forbidden
it was the whole time,
469
00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:21,893
which only made it hotter,
he said.
470
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:25,941
This woman is lying
to you, guys.
471
00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:27,464
Okay?
You got to believe me.
472
00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:29,727
I would never sleep with
anyone but your wives.
473
00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:32,861
Tell them you know about
the moles on his right buttock.
474
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,602
Trust me.
475
00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:38,780
Um, he has some moles
on his right butt cheek.
476
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:40,477
That's just a lucky guess.
477
00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:42,653
Three moles
in a crescent formation.
478
00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:45,395
Three moles. They're shaped
kind of like a crescent.
479
00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:48,050
[gasps]She knows about
the Dots of Destiny?
480
00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:49,704
You watch him
change or something?
481
00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:52,185
No further questions.
482
00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:54,404
You promised you wouldn't
sleep with an outsider.
483
00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,058
And if you lied about that,
what else are you lying about?
484
00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:58,234
Yeah, now I'm starting
to question
485
00:16:58,365 --> 00:16:59,757
this whole immortality thing.
486
00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:02,456
Like, do we even get
our own planets?Well?
487
00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:05,372
It's working, Sam.MICAH: Guys, guys,
I did not sleep with her.
488
00:17:05,502 --> 00:17:07,200
Everybody's getting
their own planets,
489
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,289
my bodily fluids still
cure the common cold.
490
00:17:09,419 --> 00:17:10,768
This was a test.
491
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:12,988
It was a test,
and you all passed.
492
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,990
Oh, it was another test.
493
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:17,123
Like when we
looked you up online
494
00:17:17,253 --> 00:17:19,777
and it said you were
born in 1990.Exactly.
495
00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:22,345
And let this be a reminder
496
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:24,782
that I can test you
at any moment.
497
00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:26,219
So let's leave this place
498
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:29,831
and put this toxic
non-believer behind us.
499
00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:34,096
No! Alana, wait.
Just wait... Alana.
500
00:17:34,227 --> 00:17:36,403
Oh, can eternity
get any worse?
501
00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:37,708
[cries out]
502
00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:39,362
You sorta teed that one up.
503
00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:41,147
And just so you know, Jay,
504
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:43,671
I thought you were really cool
and good at basketball.
505
00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:46,239
Aw. Maybe we can
do it again sometime.
506
00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:50,069
[clears throat]But I don't want to.
507
00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:52,593
Mm. Marriage.
[laughs]
508
00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:54,029
That's the real cult.
509
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,336
I thought you said
this wasn't a cult.
510
00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:59,382
It was another test, Norm.Oh.
511
00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:00,644
MICAH:
And you failed it.
512
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:10,785
What's going on?
513
00:18:10,915 --> 00:18:13,527
Nothing. Uh, just looking
at a stupid sunset.
514
00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:15,050
Certainly not getting
any enjoyment out of it.
515
00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:17,661
Okay, look, just go back
to being yourself, buddy.
516
00:18:17,792 --> 00:18:19,620
Why?
517
00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:21,665
All that talk about eternity
earlier made me realize
518
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:23,711
that maybe eternity's
gotten to me, a little.
519
00:18:23,841 --> 00:18:27,280
It's gotten to all of us.
Except, somehow, to you.
520
00:18:27,410 --> 00:18:28,498
[short chuckle]
How do you do it?
521
00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:30,805
First of all, I
haven't been around
522
00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:33,416
as long as you have,
and I don't know,
523
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,549
I try to stay
positive, you know?
524
00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:37,246
Sure, sunsets get
525
00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:39,683
a little repetitive, but...
526
00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:43,296
every once in a while,
one knocks your socks off.
527
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,341
And that's what
keeps you looking.
528
00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:48,562
Probably sounds a little corny.
529
00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:51,565
[short chuckle]
That sounds very corny.
530
00:18:51,695 --> 00:18:52,740
SAM:
Hey, Flower, do
you have a minute?
531
00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,437
Sure, man.
532
00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:57,527
So, Alberta and Trevor
told me all about your brother.
533
00:18:57,658 --> 00:19:00,095
Sam looked him up.He's still alive, Flower.
534
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:03,620
Robbie's alive?
He's AIA?
535
00:19:03,751 --> 00:19:06,536
SAM:
Yeah. And I hope
you don't mind, but
536
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:09,496
I emailed him and I told him
that I was in the cult with you.
537
00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:11,237
And I said your
biggest regret was
538
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:12,847
not making up with your brother.
539
00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:16,459
So, I just got an email back.
You want to hear it?
540
00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:18,200
No, I've heard them before.
541
00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:19,984
They just sound like "b-ding!"
542
00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:23,771
You know what, why don't you
just read it?
543
00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:26,513
"Dear Moon Cow"?
544
00:19:26,643 --> 00:19:28,079
I couldn't think
of a cult name.No,
545
00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:29,864
that's actually really good.
546
00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:31,474
You're a total Moon Cow.
547
00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:34,912
"Dear Moon Cow.
Thank you so much
548
00:19:35,043 --> 00:19:37,524
"for reaching out.
549
00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:39,134
"All these years,
I thought my little sister
550
00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:41,005
"died hating me.
551
00:19:41,136 --> 00:19:45,662
"To learn that she didn't
fills me with a great peace.
552
00:19:45,793 --> 00:19:47,577
"She was the kindest person
I've ever met,
553
00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:49,579
"and I loved her so much.
554
00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:51,973
"I wish I had told her
more often in this world,
555
00:19:52,103 --> 00:19:56,020
"But maybe I'll get a chance
to in the next.
556
00:19:56,151 --> 00:20:00,242
Forever grateful, Rob."
557
00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:03,985
And that, my friend, is why
I still look at sunsets.
558
00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:07,815
Thanks, Moon Cow.
559
00:20:07,945 --> 00:20:09,860
That's groovy.
560
00:20:09,991 --> 00:20:12,820
That's really, really groovy.
561
00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:14,778
No, don'’t...
562
00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:19,957
And I'm stoned.
[laughs]
563
00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:29,228
Captioning sponsored by
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564
00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:32,318
Captioned by
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