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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,484 --> 00:00:08,051 So you'll just park here, 2 00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:09,618 and you'll find the trailhead there. 3 00:00:09,748 --> 00:00:11,533 Now, it is bear season, so if you see any... 4 00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:13,317 Do not hug them! 5 00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:15,145 You're gonna want to hug 'em, but don't. 6 00:00:15,276 --> 00:00:17,191 Just, uh, keep your distance. 7 00:00:17,321 --> 00:00:19,236 Business seems to be picking up. 8 00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:20,933 Yeah. 9 00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:23,153 So far it's just been antiquers and bird-watchers. 10 00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:25,547 Would love to find a way to expand our customer base. 11 00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:29,246 Yes, how can we get the halls of this once proud home 12 00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:30,900 crawling with even more commoners? 13 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,728 Hey, babe. What's going on? 14 00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:34,034 Yeah, I just sent the guests on a hike. 15 00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:34,991 They were raving about the breakfast 16 00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:35,731 you cooked this morning. 17 00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:37,211 It looked amazing. 18 00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:38,342 Smellwise, I would rank it 19 00:00:38,473 --> 00:00:40,823 somewhere between patchouli and weed. 20 00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:43,347 Speaking of cooking, you know what else was cooking? 21 00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:46,394 My jump shot on the court today. 22 00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:48,265 TREVOR: Ugh, I miss playing basketball. 23 00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:50,137 At Camp Ramah, I once hit a game-winning three, 24 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:53,792 while being fouled, and never even lost my yarmulke. 25 00:00:53,923 --> 00:00:55,490 So were you just shooting around? 26 00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,840 No, I played pickup, and I met some really cool locals, 27 00:00:57,970 --> 00:00:59,711 and they found out that we run the Woodstone B and B, 28 00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:01,452 and they were so into it. 29 00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:02,714 Are we, like, local celebrities? 30 00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:04,673 Hey, so listen, 31 00:01:04,803 --> 00:01:05,891 Micah mentioned that they might want to come over 32 00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:07,328 tomorrow and watch the game. 33 00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:09,504 Oh, Micah's kind of like their leader. 34 00:01:09,634 --> 00:01:10,766 The leader?Uh... 35 00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:12,420 boss? They work together? 36 00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,378 I don't know, anyway, would that be cool? 37 00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:16,815 Well, it sounds to me like somebody made some friends. 38 00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:19,253 Good for you for putting yourself out there. 39 00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:21,168 Come on, babe, it's not that big of a deal. 40 00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:23,257 Yeah, what are you, his mom? 41 00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:24,780 No, it's just, it's been harder on Jay. 42 00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:26,651 We both left our friends in the city, 43 00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:28,218 but I have all you guys to talk to. 44 00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:30,220 And I know that sometimes he must feel left out. 45 00:01:30,351 --> 00:01:33,223 [chuckles] Yeah, like now could be one of those times. 46 00:01:33,354 --> 00:01:35,095 Oh, sorry, I just... 47 00:01:35,225 --> 00:01:37,488 [laughs] Exactly. 48 00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:40,230 ♪ ♪ 49 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,975 [birds chirping] 50 00:01:47,759 --> 00:01:49,283 Morning, roomie. 51 00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:51,285 Another beautiful day in eternity. 52 00:01:51,415 --> 00:01:53,025 How is this my death? 53 00:01:53,156 --> 00:01:54,766 Happy three-month roommate anniversary. 54 00:01:54,897 --> 00:01:56,377 But didn't you just wish me 55 00:01:56,507 --> 00:02:00,076 a happy quarter-year anniversary yesterday? 56 00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:01,077 Well, yeah, that's because months and quarters 57 00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:02,731 don't always line up exactly. 58 00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:04,211 Isn't the calendar so fun? 59 00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:06,256 Pete, you're a great guy, 60 00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:09,172 and maybe it's living in the same room together now... 61 00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:11,174 What's wrong, little buddy? 62 00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:13,394 It's just, the relentless cheeriness, it's a lot. 63 00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,787 Okay, so you want me to be less cheery? 64 00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:17,920 Like, all the time? 65 00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:20,531 No, no, no, just when I'm awake. 66 00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:22,098 Okay. 67 00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:24,579 Well, that sounds like a super fun challenge. 68 00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:27,756 [sighs] 69 00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:29,845 [men shouting, clamoring] 70 00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:31,934 [all groaning][whistle blows on TV] 71 00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:33,979 Wow, this place is huge. 72 00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:35,503 How many bedrooms did you say it was? 73 00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:36,765 It's, like, nine. 74 00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:38,462 Mm.My wife inherited it, 75 00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:39,681 and then we moved up from the city 76 00:02:39,811 --> 00:02:41,552 to turn it into a B and B. 77 00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,424 Beautiful place like this must be booked wall-to-wall. 78 00:02:43,554 --> 00:02:46,035 Eh, we do okay, but it's a new business. 79 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,471 We've had some setbacks. 80 00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:48,864 Damn, check out the hottie. 81 00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:50,866 Oh, yes, she is delect... 82 00:02:50,996 --> 00:02:52,607 Oh, wait, I don't have to pretend anymore. 83 00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:54,043 That's nice. 84 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,350 Well, Jay, I, uh, I have a philosophy, 85 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:57,699 born out of basketball. 86 00:02:57,829 --> 00:02:59,135 This is exciting. 87 00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:00,528 He doesn't share this with everybody. 88 00:03:00,658 --> 00:03:03,270 So, at the beginning of every pickup game, 89 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,882 each team has a choice: take the ball first or choose direction. 90 00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:08,579 Most people take the ball.JAY: Well, yeah. 91 00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:10,625 You want to make sure you get off to a good start. 92 00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:12,888 MICAH: But what about the sun? What about the wind? 93 00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,324 Ball goes away, 94 00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:17,066 direction... lasts forever. 95 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,676 Interesting. 96 00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:20,983 I got a funny feeling about this guy. 97 00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:22,680 Right? I've got tingles. 98 00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:24,160 MICAH: Jay, you chose direction 99 00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:25,248 with this B and B. 100 00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:26,728 You chose to focus on the long run, 101 00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:29,905 but wouldn't it be nice to have direction and ball? 102 00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:31,950 [chuckles]So nice. 103 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,692 Jay, let me show you something. 104 00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:37,695 What is that? 105 00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:40,437 This is ball. 106 00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:42,744 [sighs] 107 00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:46,138 Yes! Yes! 108 00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:48,358 Sam, we got a problem. 109 00:03:48,489 --> 00:03:50,665 These "friends" of Jay's-- and I hesitate to say this 110 00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:52,014 because the one is very hot-- 111 00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:53,276 but they got to go. 112 00:03:53,407 --> 00:03:54,625 What are you talking about? 113 00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:56,366 They're into some pyramid scheme. 114 00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:57,411 They're working for this company that's selling 115 00:03:57,541 --> 00:03:58,716 these vitamin patches, 116 00:03:58,847 --> 00:04:00,327 and they're trying to recruit Jay 117 00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:01,806 to sell them, too.Vitamin patches? 118 00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:03,765 It's like modern-day snake oil. 119 00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:07,638 The cure-all elixir that gives you vim, vigor and verve? 120 00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:09,727 What's the problem here? 121 00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:11,903 Sam, if Trevor's saying even the hot one has to go, 122 00:04:12,034 --> 00:04:13,775 we have to take him seriously. 123 00:04:13,905 --> 00:04:15,472 That is alarming, but I'm sure there's an innocent explanation. 124 00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:18,954 Samantha, if Jay truly is being offered 125 00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:21,130 a snake oil opportunity, 126 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,698 one must at least entertain the notion. 127 00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:25,352 We're not buying snake oil, 128 00:04:25,482 --> 00:04:27,702 or whatever it is they're selling.Oh, all right, 129 00:04:27,832 --> 00:04:30,182 I guess you could press your own snakes, 130 00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:33,273 but you're going to have to move the rugs. 131 00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:35,840 Hey, I brought snacks. 132 00:04:35,971 --> 00:04:37,364 Oh, where'’s Jay? 133 00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:39,366 He's giving Micah a tour. 134 00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:41,890 It's really exciting that he's getting one-on-one time 135 00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:43,500 with Micah so soon. 136 00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:45,502 It took me six months, 137 00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:47,504 but then, I don't have a mansion. 138 00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:49,593 Yeah, Norm doesn't have a lot of things: 139 00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:51,900 self-esteem, a mother that loved him, 140 00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:53,597 a filter when it comes to sharing personal details. 141 00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:55,904 Norm, you're being really negative. 142 00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:57,819 Do you think you need to re-patch? 143 00:04:57,949 --> 00:05:00,125 No, I'm okay.Norm, re-patch. 144 00:05:00,256 --> 00:05:01,301 Okay.Thank you. 145 00:05:01,431 --> 00:05:03,041 Hot and bossy. 146 00:05:03,172 --> 00:05:05,653 Okay, she can stay. But the rest have to go. 147 00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:07,568 Okay, so... [clears throat] 148 00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:09,396 what is the deal with these patches? 149 00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:11,441 They're a proprietary blend of vitamins and nutrients 150 00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:13,225 that enhance one's quality of life. 151 00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:14,575 Okay. 152 00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:16,620 So is that, like, based in science, or... 153 00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:18,796 The recipe came to Micah in a dream. 154 00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:20,711 Yeah, they helped alleviate Norm's back acne. 155 00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:23,235 He mentioned that several times. 156 00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:24,585 And are you guys, like, in a company? 157 00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:26,108 Are you working together or... 158 00:05:26,238 --> 00:05:28,197 I mean, we don't like to use the term company. 159 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,851 It's more of a collective. 160 00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:32,027 We work together, live together. 161 00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:33,420 Live together? 162 00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:35,073 Okay, this is weirder than a pyramid scheme. 163 00:05:35,204 --> 00:05:37,554 That's because it's not a pyramid scheme. 164 00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,164 It's a cult. 165 00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:41,993 You're saying Jay accidentally joined a cult? 166 00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:45,910 Well, he's not in yet, but it's looking good. 167 00:05:52,134 --> 00:05:53,614 This is just perfect-- Jay finally makes some friends 168 00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:55,311 up here and they turn out to be in a cult. 169 00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:56,530 Sam, this is a good thing. 170 00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:59,271 He's gonna make lifelong friends. 171 00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:00,621 He's not joining a cult, Flower. 172 00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:01,622 Well, what if he wants to? 173 00:06:01,752 --> 00:06:03,188 Trust me, he doesn't. 174 00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:04,712 Okay, well, be careful, 175 00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:06,409 because sometimes when a family member asks someone 176 00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:08,019 to choose between them and the cult, 177 00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:10,021 they choose the cult. 178 00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:11,458 I just... 179 00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:12,850 I'm worried about Jay's feelings getting hurt. 180 00:06:12,981 --> 00:06:15,113 There don't seem to be many fun people our age 181 00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:18,769 up in this town, and he seemed like he was so excited. 182 00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:20,380 Jay just meet these people. 183 00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:21,772 He'll get over it.Mm. 184 00:06:21,903 --> 00:06:24,166 Sam, this guy Micah's incredible. 185 00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:26,037 I mean, I've never met anyone like him. 186 00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:27,517 Or he'll be crushed. 187 00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:28,649 Either way, it's something to watch. 188 00:06:28,779 --> 00:06:31,434 He just has this great perspective on life. 189 00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:33,175 It's a cult, Jay. 190 00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:34,785 He's in a cult. He's the cult leader. 191 00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:36,918 What are you talking about? 192 00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:38,398 Flower told me, she recognized all the signs. 193 00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:40,008 Oh, Flower? 194 00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:42,271 The one who asked you what your name was yesterday, 195 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,708 a year after we moved in? 196 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,102 Okay, well, that's not nice to point out. 197 00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:48,451 I want to say... 198 00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:49,974 ...Larry? 199 00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:51,454 Jay, come on. 200 00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,369 They all live together in some weird collective. 201 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,153 And Micah came up with the formula for the patch 202 00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:56,503 in a dream. 203 00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,069 That's so cool.JAY: Yeah, okay, 204 00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,506 so he's a bit hippie-dippie, I'll give you that, 205 00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:01,029 but you don't know him yet. 206 00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:02,552 Plus, lots of people live together. 207 00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:03,945 Your favorite show, Friends. 208 00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,599 That's about a bunch of people who live together. 209 00:07:05,729 --> 00:07:07,992 They actually live in three different apartments. 210 00:07:08,123 --> 00:07:09,385 It was four. 211 00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:10,604 Ross have own place with Marcel, the monkey. 212 00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:12,127 Oh.You know what? 213 00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:13,781 I'm not debating Friendswith you, okay? 214 00:07:13,911 --> 00:07:15,173 I really like Micah 215 00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:16,697 and I hoping you'd give him a chance. 216 00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:18,394 He's helping us out, big-time. 217 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:19,700 What do you mean?The patches. 218 00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:21,484 He gave us ten boxes for free 219 00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:22,833 to sell on consignment. 220 00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:24,139 Jay, you do not want to be 221 00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:25,575 in business with this guy.Babe, 222 00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:27,055 the patches really work. 223 00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:28,839 How do you know?[short chuckle] 224 00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,885 'Cause I'm patched in, baby. 225 00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:34,541 Yay! Larry's in! 226 00:07:36,717 --> 00:07:38,022 Hey, Pete. 227 00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:40,851 Welcome to another day in hell, bitch. 228 00:07:40,982 --> 00:07:43,027 What?From now on, 229 00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:45,943 I'm a mean old sourpuss, just like you wanted. 230 00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:48,293 No more smiles, no more compliments, 231 00:07:48,424 --> 00:07:50,557 no more scalp massages while you sleep 232 00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:52,559 to stimulate your dreams.Wait, 233 00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:53,734 you massage me while I sleep? 234 00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:56,171 No. I used to. 235 00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:58,434 But that's all over now. 236 00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:01,306 For the rest of eternity, you're rooming with 237 00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:03,657 a joyless, sulking void. 238 00:08:03,787 --> 00:08:05,876 Pete, I don't know what to say. 239 00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:09,140 That you miss friendly old classic Pete now? 240 00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:10,751 No. I like this. 241 00:08:10,881 --> 00:08:12,622 Thanks, buddy. 242 00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:16,583 Son of a B-word. 243 00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:22,023 Screw it. In a way, all major religions are cults. 244 00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:24,721 Who are we to judge these nines and tens? 245 00:08:24,852 --> 00:08:26,636 HETTY: that Micah reminds me 246 00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,508 of a stable boy who worked here once. 247 00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:31,685 Some found his live body desirable. 248 00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:33,861 Not me, of course, because I am a lady. 249 00:08:33,991 --> 00:08:36,472 Ooh, yeah, touch those toes. 250 00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:38,605 Hey, Micah. 251 00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:40,389 Oh, Jay. Hey.Hey. 252 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,173 Hope you don't mind, I invited a few teammates 253 00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:44,436 here to hang out at your beautiful abode. 254 00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:46,221 Yeah, th-that should be okay. 255 00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:48,353 Look, I know some of you guys live together, 256 00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:50,617 but this is mostly a business, 257 00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:51,966 this patch thing, right? 258 00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:53,968 Yeah. Of course, of course. 259 00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:57,885 It's a business, a community, a way of life. 260 00:08:58,015 --> 00:09:00,322 Okay... 261 00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:02,280 Jay, please stretch, okay? It's important to stay limber. 262 00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:03,978 Especially if you're gonna live forever. 263 00:09:04,108 --> 00:09:06,154 Yeah, and just, uh, when you say "live forever," 264 00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:08,678 you mean that the patch makes you feel like 265 00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:10,027 you're gonna live forever. 266 00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:12,334 Exactly. Because you can. 267 00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:13,683 What was that? 268 00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:15,598 Oh, he's quite insane. 269 00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:16,904 Jay, how old do you think I am? 270 00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:19,297 Uh, I don't know, man. 271 00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:21,386 Um, 35? 272 00:09:21,517 --> 00:09:24,564 I'm 742 years young. 273 00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:28,176 And you look great. 274 00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:34,443 Uh, Flower, you got a sec? 275 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,663 I wanted to ask you about what you said earlier 276 00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:39,100 about how sometimes people choose a cult over their family. 277 00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:42,233 I kinda got a sense there was more to that story. 278 00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:44,540 I don't really want to talk about it. 279 00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,629 I understand. 280 00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:51,025 Hey, Flower. 281 00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:52,896 Oh, hey, Alberta. What's up?Girl! 282 00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:54,463 You were just telling me the story about 283 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,900 you choosing your cult over a family member. 284 00:09:57,031 --> 00:09:58,162 The one about my brother? Where was I? 285 00:09:58,293 --> 00:09:59,729 At the beginning.Right. 286 00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,862 Okay, well, back when I was in the cult, 287 00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:03,690 my brother showed up, and he tried to get me 288 00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:04,995 to come home. 289 00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:06,997 So the cult banned him from the property 290 00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:09,086 and barred me from ever speaking to him again. 291 00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:11,872 If only he'd never tried to get me out of that cult. 292 00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:12,699 Well, it sounded like your brother was 293 00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:14,439 just trying to protect you. 294 00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:16,311 Maybe you should be angry at the people who made you 295 00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:18,748 choose between them and your own family. 296 00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:21,316 You mean the cult? 297 00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:23,623 Yes, Flower.Huh. 298 00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:27,583 Nobody ever talks about a cult being in the wrong. 299 00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:30,673 I feel like people do. 300 00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:33,458 Sam, it is a full-blown cult. 301 00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:35,025 Now he figures it out. 302 00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:37,419 Why didn't he just listen to you in the first place? 303 00:10:37,549 --> 00:10:39,073 Sometimes men very stubborn, 304 00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:40,596 like when Ross claim to read Rachel's letter 305 00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:42,467 instead of just admit he fall asleep. 306 00:10:42,598 --> 00:10:43,599 JAY: This is bad. 307 00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:46,384 He said he was 742 years old. 308 00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:47,647 Sounds young to me. 309 00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:49,474 It's okay, just calm down. 310 00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:51,389 Okay, we'll tell Micah he has to leave, 311 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:52,913 and then we can put this whole thing behind us. 312 00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:54,566 Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's not be rash. 313 00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:56,699 Trevor, they're a cult. 314 00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:59,702 Yes, but this could be a Heaven's Gate situation. 315 00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:02,357 Sam, I'm just saying if things break the right way, 316 00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:04,620 we could be looking at some sexy new ghosts. 317 00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:07,014 Let's go.Please. 318 00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:07,884 I heard them talking about something called 319 00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:08,885 "the final patch." 320 00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:11,279 That sounded promising. 321 00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:13,020 Hey, hey, whoa. 322 00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:15,152 What is all this?They're moving in. 323 00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:16,850 We're moving in. [chuckles] 324 00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,329 Where do you want this, Micah? 325 00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,984 Oh, I'm upstairs on the left with the wives. 326 00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:23,334 [grunts] This ain't gonna be good for business. 327 00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:26,163 No, no, no, no, all of you have to leave. 328 00:11:26,294 --> 00:11:27,730 Yeah, we're not gonna do that. Jay, do you remember 329 00:11:27,861 --> 00:11:29,384 this very long bill of lading 330 00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:31,081 that accompanied the box of patches that I gave you? 331 00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:33,431 Oh, yeah, I remember that it was very long. 332 00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:34,737 And remember that you signed it 333 00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:35,782 and I gave you a receipt? 334 00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:38,132 Oh, come on.Jay... 335 00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:39,655 Well, buried in the fine print was a clause 336 00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:42,484 that allowed us to move in in exchange for the patches. 337 00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:44,704 See? Right there. 338 00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:46,706 Oh, come on, man, that is so tiny. 339 00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:49,621 That is a very underhanded business maneuver. 340 00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:51,275 Tip of my cap to you, sir. 341 00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:54,104 You all have to leave or we are gonna call the cops. 342 00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:56,498 We have a signed contract. 343 00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:57,978 Dude, this is insane. 344 00:11:58,108 --> 00:11:59,544 What's your plan? You're just gonna squat 345 00:11:59,675 --> 00:12:02,243 in our house forever?Of course not. No. 346 00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:04,680 The lease explicitly says it's for no longer 347 00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:06,160 than one trillion years. 348 00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,902 So after that we'll be out of your hair. 349 00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:10,251 Oh, thank God. 350 00:12:10,381 --> 00:12:11,861 I thought they were gonna be here forever. 351 00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,651 So the good news is the lawyer says we are in the right, 352 00:12:19,782 --> 00:12:21,218 and the contract will never hold up. 353 00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:22,437 ALL: Yes!Huzzah! 354 00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:23,786 But it's going to take months 355 00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:25,092 and thousands of dollars in legal fees. 356 00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:26,528 Months? 357 00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:28,095 We can't run a B and B with a cult living here. 358 00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:30,140 We'll be driven out of business. 359 00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:32,186 Pete, please just tell us everything is gonna be okay. 360 00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:34,405 We really need some of your Pinecone Trooper 361 00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:35,842 can-do spirit right now. 362 00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:37,365 No can do, Sam. 363 00:12:37,495 --> 00:12:39,280 I've changed. I'm dark now. 364 00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:42,544 Because life is meaningless and full of suffering. 365 00:12:42,674 --> 00:12:44,851 What'd he say?Nothing helpful. 366 00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:46,678 There actually is one foolproof way 367 00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:49,333 to break up a cult, and it's so easy. 368 00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:53,555 I'm not sleeping with Micah.Cool. 369 00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:54,861 Thanks for the update. 370 00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:56,950 It was something Flower suggested. 371 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,081 Nothing breaks up a cult faster 372 00:12:58,212 --> 00:13:00,214 than an outsider sleeping with the leader. 373 00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:01,998 Great. Does anybody else have an idea? 374 00:13:02,129 --> 00:13:03,695 Samantha, just talk to them. 375 00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:06,089 As a delegate to the Second Continental Congress, 376 00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:07,961 I partook in difficult negotiations. 377 00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:09,614 But through dialogue, 378 00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:12,313 we found interests that aligned. 379 00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:14,141 Yes, if a bunch of white male landowners 380 00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:16,970 can find common ground, then anything is possible. 381 00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:19,450 Exactly. Point is, I don't think they want 382 00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:21,713 a protracted legal fight either. 383 00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:23,063 That's true. 384 00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:25,587 Maybe they will listen to reason. 385 00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:28,329 Oh, sure, 'cause cults are famously reasonable. 386 00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:30,897 Not loving the new Pete. 387 00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:32,768 [cheering on TV] 388 00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:34,683 Uh, what are ya'll doing? 389 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,512 I'm watching TV with Alana, and Flower's third-wheeling it. 390 00:13:37,642 --> 00:13:38,818 Trevor, that girl don't even know you're there. 391 00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:39,993 Listen, Flower, 392 00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:41,255 I had an idea. 393 00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:43,083 Why don'’t we look up your brother? 394 00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:44,998 I mean, we don't know, maybe he's still alive. 395 00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:46,303 Oh, no. 396 00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:47,870 After I got out of the cult, 397 00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:50,655 I heard he'd been killed in Vietnam, so... 398 00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:53,136 Oh, Flower, you poor girl. 399 00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:54,790 Yeah, Flower, I'm so sorry. 400 00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:57,749 I wish I'd been there to convince him not to go. 401 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,056 He spent his whole life protecting me 402 00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:03,016 and the one time my big brother needed protecting, 403 00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:04,800 I wasn't there for him. 404 00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:06,062 He was MIA. 405 00:14:06,193 --> 00:14:07,498 MIA? 406 00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:09,283 Murdered in action. 407 00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:13,330 Flower, MIA means "missingin action."It does? 408 00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:14,810 It's also the airport code for Miami, where I spent 409 00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:16,681 some baller weekends. 410 00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:19,336 KIA is "killed in acion." 411 00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:22,383 Wait, so you're saying he might still be alive? 412 00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:24,646 Well, going missing in a war is not a great sign. 413 00:14:24,776 --> 00:14:27,127 And even if he made it out, he may be dead by now. 414 00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:28,563 But you're saying there's a chance? 415 00:14:28,693 --> 00:14:30,217 You want me to look him up?Look up who? 416 00:14:30,347 --> 00:14:32,262 Your brother!Oh, what about him? 417 00:14:32,393 --> 00:14:33,263 Child, just look him up. 418 00:14:33,394 --> 00:14:34,438 I'll look him up. 419 00:14:38,529 --> 00:14:41,881 [flatulence] 420 00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:44,927 I love how comfortable she feels around me. 421 00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:47,103 JAY: So what do you say? 422 00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:50,019 We can avoid months of headache and cost, 423 00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:51,194 And you could just clear out now. 424 00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:53,283 Nah, we're good. I mean, what's a few months 425 00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:54,719 when we're gonna live forever? 426 00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:58,375 Oh, why would anyone want to live forever? 427 00:14:58,506 --> 00:14:59,507 Tell me about it. 428 00:14:59,637 --> 00:15:01,422 Wait a minute. 429 00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:02,466 Excuse me? 430 00:15:02,597 --> 00:15:04,860 Have you ever thought about 431 00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:07,297 what living forever would actually mean?ALANA: Of course. 432 00:15:07,428 --> 00:15:08,472 It's gonna be amazing. 433 00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:10,779 [scoffs] I mean, in theory, yeah. 434 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,737 But for one thing, you're gonna get sick of each other. 435 00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:14,391 [ghosts affirming] 436 00:15:14,522 --> 00:15:17,438 At least they get to change their itchy shirts. 437 00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:18,961 A small price to pay for the gift of eternity. 438 00:15:19,092 --> 00:15:21,659 Okay, but if you give me a minute, 439 00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:24,010 some other specifics as to why it sucks 440 00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:26,055 will come to me. 441 00:15:26,186 --> 00:15:27,535 Sunsets no longer very nice.Mm. 442 00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:30,277 THORFINN: Same thing over and over. 443 00:15:30,407 --> 00:15:31,756 Oh, yeah. Yes. 444 00:15:31,887 --> 00:15:33,062 Eternity take what was once beautiful 445 00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:36,065 and turn into nothing. 446 00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:38,720 Oh, sunsets, what about those? 447 00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:40,069 I mean, right now they're beautiful, 448 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,897 but in, like, a thousand years, 449 00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:43,986 you'll have seen so many, they will just be boring. 450 00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:45,945 Look, whatever you're trying to do, 451 00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:47,294 it's not working. 452 00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:49,296 Nothing is gonna break us apart.So, what-- 453 00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:51,472 you just want to waste months in court 454 00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:53,256 when you're gonna end up getting kicked out anyways? 455 00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:55,215 By then, you'll be one of us. 456 00:15:55,345 --> 00:15:56,912 We're not going anywhere. 457 00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:59,523 So, unless you have anything else to say, 458 00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:00,916 We'll be hearing from your lawyers 459 00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:02,483 and seeing you in the hallway. 460 00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:04,702 I slept with Micah. 461 00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,008 [chuckles] 462 00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:07,836 Micah would never sleep with you. 463 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,098 You're an outsider. 464 00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:11,622 Well, it's true, and I am sorry 465 00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:14,147 if that drives a wedge. 466 00:16:14,277 --> 00:16:15,148 Wait, is this true? 467 00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:17,019 I am so proud of you, Sam. 468 00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:19,761 He talked about how forbidden it was the whole time, 469 00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:21,893 which only made it hotter, he said. 470 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:25,941 This woman is lying to you, guys. 471 00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:27,464 Okay? You got to believe me. 472 00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:29,727 I would never sleep with anyone but your wives. 473 00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:32,861 Tell them you know about the moles on his right buttock. 474 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,602 Trust me. 475 00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:38,780 Um, he has some moles on his right butt cheek. 476 00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:40,477 That's just a lucky guess. 477 00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:42,653 Three moles in a crescent formation. 478 00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:45,395 Three moles. They're shaped kind of like a crescent. 479 00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:48,050 [gasps]She knows about the Dots of Destiny? 480 00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:49,704 You watch him change or something? 481 00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:52,185 No further questions. 482 00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:54,404 You promised you wouldn't sleep with an outsider. 483 00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,058 And if you lied about that, what else are you lying about? 484 00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:58,234 Yeah, now I'm starting to question 485 00:16:58,365 --> 00:16:59,757 this whole immortality thing. 486 00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:02,456 Like, do we even get our own planets?Well? 487 00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:05,372 It's working, Sam.MICAH: Guys, guys, I did not sleep with her. 488 00:17:05,502 --> 00:17:07,200 Everybody's getting their own planets, 489 00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,289 my bodily fluids still cure the common cold. 490 00:17:09,419 --> 00:17:10,768 This was a test. 491 00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:12,988 It was a test, and you all passed. 492 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,990 Oh, it was another test. 493 00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:17,123 Like when we looked you up online 494 00:17:17,253 --> 00:17:19,777 and it said you were born in 1990.Exactly. 495 00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:22,345 And let this be a reminder 496 00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:24,782 that I can test you at any moment. 497 00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:26,219 So let's leave this place 498 00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:29,831 and put this toxic non-believer behind us. 499 00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:34,096 No! Alana, wait. Just wait... Alana. 500 00:17:34,227 --> 00:17:36,403 Oh, can eternity get any worse? 501 00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:37,708 [cries out] 502 00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:39,362 You sorta teed that one up. 503 00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:41,147 And just so you know, Jay, 504 00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:43,671 I thought you were really cool and good at basketball. 505 00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:46,239 Aw. Maybe we can do it again sometime. 506 00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:50,069 [clears throat]But I don't want to. 507 00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:52,593 Mm. Marriage. [laughs] 508 00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:54,029 That's the real cult. 509 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,336 I thought you said this wasn't a cult. 510 00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:59,382 It was another test, Norm.Oh. 511 00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:00,644 MICAH: And you failed it. 512 00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:10,785 What's going on? 513 00:18:10,915 --> 00:18:13,527 Nothing. Uh, just looking at a stupid sunset. 514 00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:15,050 Certainly not getting any enjoyment out of it. 515 00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:17,661 Okay, look, just go back to being yourself, buddy. 516 00:18:17,792 --> 00:18:19,620 Why? 517 00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:21,665 All that talk about eternity earlier made me realize 518 00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:23,711 that maybe eternity's gotten to me, a little. 519 00:18:23,841 --> 00:18:27,280 It's gotten to all of us. Except, somehow, to you. 520 00:18:27,410 --> 00:18:28,498 [short chuckle] How do you do it? 521 00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:30,805 First of all, I haven't been around 522 00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:33,416 as long as you have, and I don't know, 523 00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,549 I try to stay positive, you know? 524 00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:37,246 Sure, sunsets get 525 00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:39,683 a little repetitive, but... 526 00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:43,296 every once in a while, one knocks your socks off. 527 00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,341 And that's what keeps you looking. 528 00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:48,562 Probably sounds a little corny. 529 00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:51,565 [short chuckle] That sounds very corny. 530 00:18:51,695 --> 00:18:52,740 SAM: Hey, Flower, do you have a minute? 531 00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,437 Sure, man. 532 00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:57,527 So, Alberta and Trevor told me all about your brother. 533 00:18:57,658 --> 00:19:00,095 Sam looked him up.He's still alive, Flower. 534 00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:03,620 Robbie's alive? He's AIA? 535 00:19:03,751 --> 00:19:06,536 SAM: Yeah. And I hope you don't mind, but 536 00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:09,496 I emailed him and I told him that I was in the cult with you. 537 00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:11,237 And I said your biggest regret was 538 00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:12,847 not making up with your brother. 539 00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:16,459 So, I just got an email back. You want to hear it? 540 00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:18,200 No, I've heard them before. 541 00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:19,984 They just sound like "b-ding!" 542 00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:23,771 You know what, why don't you just read it? 543 00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:26,513 "Dear Moon Cow"? 544 00:19:26,643 --> 00:19:28,079 I couldn't think of a cult name.No, 545 00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:29,864 that's actually really good. 546 00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:31,474 You're a total Moon Cow. 547 00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:34,912 "Dear Moon Cow. Thank you so much 548 00:19:35,043 --> 00:19:37,524 "for reaching out. 549 00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:39,134 "All these years, I thought my little sister 550 00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:41,005 "died hating me. 551 00:19:41,136 --> 00:19:45,662 "To learn that she didn't fills me with a great peace. 552 00:19:45,793 --> 00:19:47,577 "She was the kindest person I've ever met, 553 00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:49,579 "and I loved her so much. 554 00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:51,973 "I wish I had told her more often in this world, 555 00:19:52,103 --> 00:19:56,020 "But maybe I'll get a chance to in the next. 556 00:19:56,151 --> 00:20:00,242 Forever grateful, Rob." 557 00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:03,985 And that, my friend, is why I still look at sunsets. 558 00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:07,815 Thanks, Moon Cow. 559 00:20:07,945 --> 00:20:09,860 That's groovy. 560 00:20:09,991 --> 00:20:12,820 That's really, really groovy. 561 00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:14,778 No, don'’t... 562 00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:19,957 And I'm stoned. [laughs] 563 00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:29,228 Captioning sponsored by CBS 564 00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:32,318 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 38987

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