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1
00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:06,607
(tires screech)
2
00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:09,376
D'oh!
3
00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:12,246
-(tires screeching)
-(grunting)
4
00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:21,588
♪
5
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:32,666
I am so excited for
the scout jamboree this weekend.
6
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:35,536
Dad, hand over the family bugle!
7
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,837
Here she is!
8
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:38,839
Old Blowy.
9
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:40,073
(blows bad note)
10
00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:42,976
-(fanfare playing)
- Hmm?
11
00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:44,978
What? You're not a boy!
12
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:46,847
You can't join
the Boy Explorers!
13
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:48,782
And that's a flugelhorn!
14
00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:50,984
Yes. It's the hardest horn.
15
00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:52,986
And, FYI, I did join.
16
00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:55,522
And I already have
three badges--
17
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:56,890
environmentalism,
18
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:57,958
badge-receiving,
19
00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,893
and sibling rivalry.
20
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,562
Come on, you two...
21
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,964
MALE HACKER (distorted):
Attention, corporate overlords,
22
00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:06,200
we are Pseudo-nonymous,
23
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,336
and we have taken over
this broadcast.
24
00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:12,539
We are the anarchist collective
of nameless hacktivists
25
00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:15,542
who published the internal
emails of Waffle House
26
00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:19,546
and brought Home Depot's
"Find a store near you" feature
27
00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:21,048
to its knees.
28
00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:25,185
FEMALE HACKER:
Now we have hacked into
the Disney Corporation's servers
29
00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:29,256
and seized hundreds of hours
of never-before-aired footage
30
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:32,259
from the television show
The Simpsons.
31
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,695
Stories so ill-conceived,
32
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,196
so idiotic
33
00:01:36,196 --> 00:01:38,232
that their exposure
would destroy
34
00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:41,435
the value
of the very I. P. itself.
35
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:45,606
Until we are paid a ransom
of $20 million in Bitcoin,
36
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,742
we will air
these show-destroying scenes
37
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:50,110
one after another,
38
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,246
starting now.
39
00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:57,117
No, no, it can't be true!
40
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,952
It is true, Carl.
41
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,021
There never was a Lenny.
42
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:04,658
So Lenny was just a figment
of my imagination?
43
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,293
I... I made him up?
44
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,395
Yeah, your psyche
created "Lenny"
45
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:10,964
to help you deal
with a terrible trauma there.
46
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:14,635
- What trauma?
- Finding out your previous
best friend wasn't real.
47
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,236
It's kind of a thing with you.
48
00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:19,573
Huh. Hey, I haven't seen you
in here before.
49
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,241
I'm Carl. What's your name?
50
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,076
Nice to meet you, Steven.
51
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,279
Aw, crap, here we go again.
52
00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:28,549
Now you see
we mean business, Disney.
53
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:32,553
You will submit $20 million
in Bitcoin to our crypto wallet
54
00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:34,621
at the following address.
55
00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:35,989
Until the payment arrives,
56
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,725
we will keep playing
these nonsensical clips
57
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:41,061
no one was ever meant to see.
58
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,932
What's his name?
59
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:46,166
Number Eight.
60
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,535
I mean, Santa's Little Helper.
61
00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:50,003
(thunder crashes)
62
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,873
Greetings,
lamewads from the past!
63
00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:56,376
I have come back in time to
reveal the events of the future,
64
00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:59,112
so that you can amaze the world
65
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:03,217
with your uncannily accurate
predictions!
66
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:05,352
Less yelling, more foretelling.
67
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,588
My first shocking prediction is,
68
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:08,889
in 2016,
69
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:12,593
the Nobel Prize in Economics
will go to...
70
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,595
Bengt R. Holmstr öm!
71
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:17,030
Why would anyone care
if we predicted that?
72
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,398
I don't know, but they will.
73
00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:20,100
Do you have anything
a little more...
74
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,002
oh, impressive?
75
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,604
Donald Trump
is gonna be president.
76
00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:26,540
(screams) Less impressive!
Less impressive!
77
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,676
Okay, let's see. You're gonna
want to mention gas hoarding,
78
00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:30,878
pandemics,
79
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:33,914
Germany beats Brazil
in the 2014 World Cup,
80
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,115
Disney buys Fox.
81
00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:36,984
And then they both go under?!
82
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:39,353
No, they're both absorbed
by Panda Express.
83
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:42,055
Pretty much everything now
is Panda Express.
84
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,490
- That makes sense.
- I get it.
85
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:45,559
Ooh! Orange chicken.
86
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,833
Arr.
87
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,835
Yarr.
88
00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,403
Aye.
89
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:57,671
- Yarr!
- Aye!
90
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,440
(gulping)
91
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:01,575
Yarr?
92
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,043
(chuckles):
Aye.
93
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:07,948
Yarr!
94
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,349
Aye!
95
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:13,654
Aye?
96
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,522
Yarr.
97
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:16,657
Aye?
98
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:17,691
Yarr!
99
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,260
Aye?
100
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,161
Yarr!
101
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:23,897
- Aye! Aye!
- Yarr! Yarr!
102
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,232
- Aye!
- Yarr!
103
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,268
Aye!
104
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,070
(sighs):
Aye!
105
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:31,705
(sighs):
106
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,340
Yarr.
107
00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:38,078
- Yarr, yarr, yarr, yarr...!
- Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye,
aye, aye, aye, aye, aye!
108
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,618
Till the morrow, chums!
109
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:45,519
(groans)
110
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:48,121
-(children laughing)
-(humming happily)
111
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:51,391
(groans)
112
00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:53,327
WOMAN (New York accent):
Is that you, babe?
113
00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:55,495
(New York accent):
Yeah, yeah, I'm home.
114
00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:58,398
- Daddy! Daddy! How was school?
- Hey.
115
00:04:58,398 --> 00:05:00,634
It ain't school for Daddy, sweetheart.
116
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,768
It's work.
117
00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:05,005
Soul-sucking, grueling work.
118
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:06,373
Then why don't you quit?
119
00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:08,942
Always with the quitting,
this one.
120
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:11,378
I can't do that, Doreen!
121
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:15,883
The police department
needs someone inside the school!
122
00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:17,985
So why's it got to be you?
123
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,052
Look at me, Didi.
124
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:21,054
I'm the only 36-year-old
125
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,023
who can pass for ten!
126
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,025
How 'bout passing
for a good father?
127
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:26,527
The kids hardly know you.
128
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:29,696
You're out every afternoon
till 3:00 p. m.
129
00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:31,632
4:00 if there's chess club.
130
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:33,033
You think I want to be there?
131
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,568
Martin likes chess!
132
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,403
Not me!
133
00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:41,742
I don't know where Martin ends
and my Reggie begins!
134
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,977
(crying)
135
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:50,684
Aw, maybe you're right.
136
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,486
Maybe I am in too deep.
137
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:55,856
It's just, when I was diagnosed
with... this,
138
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,158
I said,
"I'm not gonna let it beat me.
139
00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,260
I'm gonna use it for good!"
140
00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:02,863
I'm doing good, aren't I?
141
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,031
You are, Reg.
142
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:06,834
You're a great role model
for your kids.
143
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,836
All three of 'em.
144
00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:10,637
(gasps)
You mean...?
145
00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:11,939
I do.
146
00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:15,008
(distorted): They still
haven't paid the ransom.
147
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,344
Did they not see
the nonsense we just released?
148
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,513
How is Martin Prince
an adult cop?
149
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:21,748
(distorted):
Well, maybe I overestimated
150
00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:23,917
how much
Disney cares about Lenny.
151
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,586
No, it's not your fault.
152
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:28,222
You're the finest
digital terrorist I know.
153
00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:31,925
Your malware shut down the
Portland Airport for two weeks.
154
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:35,128
(chuckles)
Everyone missed Thanksgiving.
155
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:37,397
It's sweet you remembered.
156
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,868
Aw, you're sweet, too.
(chuckles)
157
00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:42,503
We should probably get back to...
158
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,638
(non-distorted):
blackmailing
the major corporation.
159
00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:47,941
Wait! Why did the voice-changing
app switch off?
160
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:51,311
(non-distorted British voice):
Bollocks. I didn't upgrade
to the premium edition,
161
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:53,847
and the free trial period
ran out, I'm afraid.
162
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,749
I am so daft.
163
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,351
Oh, my God, you're British?
164
00:06:57,351 --> 00:07:00,988
That must be delightful
for your wife or girlfriend.
165
00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:02,389
Oh, no, I'm painfully single.
166
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:05,092
Nary a romantic appointment
in my "shed-you-ul."
167
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,994
Say that last part again.
168
00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:09,263
You mean... "shed-you-ul"?
169
00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:12,099
(sultrily):
Shed-you-ul.
170
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,067
MALE HACKER:
Shed-you-ul.
171
00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:19,740
-(moaning)
-(masks clacking)
172
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,108
Oh! We're back on! We're live!
173
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,310
Well, I-I suppose we should
threaten them some more.
174
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:26,947
How about I just run another
batch of show-ruining clips
175
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,081
so we can...
176
00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:30,050
Topple the capitalist system
177
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,652
and its bought-and-paid-for...
178
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:34,555
Political enablers.
179
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:37,991
(speaking French)
180
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,193
(chuckles)
181
00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:43,730
OPERATOR:
Do you speak English?
182
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:52,206
We're trapped!
Someone get help!
183
00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,647
I can't help
if I can't understand you.
184
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,116
Won't anyone do something?!
185
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:20,701
(groans) Never mind.
186
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,671
Let me get this straight.
187
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:28,675
You mowed down all that corn
to build a football field,
188
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,845
hoping it would lure
the ghosts of former players
189
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,814
down from football heaven?
190
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:36,283
Uh-huh. And look!
191
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:41,188
Hey, I don't recognize
any of these guys.
192
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,924
Why are there two 50-yard lines?
193
00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:45,192
Aw, damn it!
194
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,327
I built a Canadian field!
195
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:49,596
Oh. Sorry, hoser.
196
00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:50,697
My bad, eh?
197
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:53,133
Hey, nice rouge there, Gordo.
198
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,102
Hey, Homer!
Throw you a Hail Mary?
199
00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:57,404
Shut up, Flutie.
200
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:02,676
Uh, yes. (clears throat)
The day is Sol, uh, 150.
201
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,811
I am stranded on Mars.
202
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:08,949
I suspect my fellow astronauts
left me behind on purpose,
203
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:10,484
as from the bathroom
204
00:09:10,484 --> 00:09:12,686
I did hear the giggling
and the shushing
205
00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:16,190
and the "Blast off quick
before he's done tinkling."
206
00:09:16,190 --> 00:09:19,793
I have a mere three days
of air and water remaining.
207
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:22,229
There is no hope.
208
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,231
Unless
I glayvenate the hydrogen,
209
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:25,766
flavenize the oxygen,
210
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:28,368
and, yes, yes,
poopulate the soil!
211
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:31,405
It was a simple matter
of applying pseudoscience
212
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:35,275
and phantasmagorical engineering
to the problem. Yes.
213
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:38,345
Oh, yes, I also cloned myself
for company.
214
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:40,480
And my fellow Frinks
have built us all
215
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,349
an escape rocket.
Isn't that wonderful?
216
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:45,419
(clones laughing, chattering)
217
00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:46,887
Leaving!
218
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:48,755
(gasps)
219
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,058
Aw, flayvin me in the glayvin!
220
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,361
Hello. This is Homer Simpson.
221
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:56,430
From the bottom of my heart,
I apologize
222
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:59,666
to the great, great,
great people of Finland
223
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:00,701
for what I said.
224
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,669
I have done many, many,
225
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:04,805
many, many, many episodes,
226
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,740
and in one of those-- just one--
227
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:08,375
I mixed you up with Norway.
228
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:13,013
And I have so, so, so, so,
so much love and respect for...
229
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,915
I think "Finns"
is what you're called.
230
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,683
And if I ever-- I mean ever--
231
00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:18,485
ever, ever, ever thought
232
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,220
that an innocent slip
of the tongue
233
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,955
is something
that an entire nation
234
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,223
could get worked up about,
235
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:25,425
I would've kept my mouth shut.
236
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:29,329
And the scary, scary, scary,
oh-so-scary lawyers
237
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:31,665
of the giant, giant--
I mean giant--
238
00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:35,102
so, so giant,
scary corporation I work for
239
00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:37,804
would not have had to draft
this statement.
240
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,106
God bless you
241
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:41,975
and all the peoples
of South America,
242
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,478
for you are a-- What?
243
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:46,880
What do you mean
I have to record it again?
244
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,148
What did I say?
245
00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:56,957
You're chewing too loud.
246
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:59,893
From now on,
only two chews per bite.
247
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:02,596
One, two, swallow.
One, two, swallow.
248
00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:07,201
I think I've misplaced
my appetite, mother.
249
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:13,140
I need to see you right now.
250
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,112
I deserve this.
251
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,548
I deserve to feel like a man.
252
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:26,186
Only with you
do I truly feel alive.
253
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,689
I made this just for you.
254
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:31,024
Thank you, Mother.
255
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:35,495
Anything for my son.
I am so proud of you.
256
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:38,198
Oh, Mommy.
I can't wait another second.
257
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,900
You know I need it.
258
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,102
(sultry music playing)
259
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,788
I almost forgot
to give you this.
260
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:03,690
Leave it on the dresser.
261
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,930
If only that were
my real mother.
262
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:14,268
(groans)
If only that were my real son.
263
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,505
(Homer humming happily)
264
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:20,574
I don't mean to be
unneighborly, but, uh,
265
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:23,377
you wouldn't know what happened
to my old nostril skirt?
266
00:12:23,377 --> 00:12:27,214
Mustache you say?
Hmm, let me think.
267
00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:30,684
Stroking this goatee
I've always had.
268
00:12:30,684 --> 00:12:32,419
Stroking, stroking...
269
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:36,089
That's it.
Boys, we're Jewish now.
270
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,625
- ROD: L'chaim!
- TODD: To life!
271
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,763
Mmm.
(swallows)
272
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:44,965
From bun to pickle,
a masterpiece.
273
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:49,436
The exquisite flavor is matched
only by the peerless mouthfeel.
274
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,704
Five stars.
275
00:12:50,704 --> 00:12:53,240
Bravo, Harvey Comics, bravo.
276
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,709
A stunning addition
to the Casper-verse.
277
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:57,678
No notes. Ten stars.
278
00:12:57,678 --> 00:13:00,147
With this level of
sour cream in your blood,
279
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:03,183
your brain is completely
starved of oxygen.
280
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:05,419
Consequently, you're a moron.
281
00:13:05,419 --> 00:13:09,022
A perfect explanation.
Succinct and devastating.
282
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,791
Infinite stars!
283
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:15,495
Best. Diagnosis. Ev--
(groaning)
284
00:13:20,734 --> 00:13:21,935
Give me a beer, pally.
285
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,937
Hey, I know you, don't I?
286
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:26,406
Nah, must be thinking
of someone else, slim.
287
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:29,743
No, I've definitely seen
you around town.
288
00:13:29,743 --> 00:13:30,978
Sign here, chief.
289
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,746
Here's your passport, gorgeous.
290
00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:34,681
Brake pads are shot, tough guy.
291
00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:36,049
Want that toasted, honcho?
292
00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:37,851
Found your car keys, big shot.
293
00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:39,319
Those were all you!
294
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,154
I don't know
what to tell you, slick.
295
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,490
Just got that sort of face.
296
00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,595
ALL:
Pally-pally-pally-pally-pally-
297
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:53,600
pally-pally-pally-pally-pally-
pally-pally-pally-pally-pally...
298
00:13:54,568 --> 00:13:56,904
(moaning, smooching)
299
00:13:56,904 --> 00:13:58,405
(exclaims)
300
00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:02,743
- Oh, my God, you're beautiful.
- You're more beautiful!
301
00:14:02,743 --> 00:14:04,144
Oh. Oh, dear.
302
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:07,314
The world has seen
our exquisite symmetrical faces.
303
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:10,617
Then they've also seen
that we're... in love?
304
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:11,818
My God. Yes.
305
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:13,720
Yes, that's what it is,
isn't it?
306
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,556
It is. (stammers)
It is stunning.
307
00:14:15,556 --> 00:14:18,725
As stunning as this list
of abandoned episodes
308
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:22,496
that started as clever titles
and went nowhere.
309
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:26,500
♪ Hopin' for the dream ♪
310
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:27,901
♪ Hopin' ♪
311
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:30,704
♪ Focus like a laser beam ♪
312
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:33,874
♪ I'll keep fighting
till I want something great ♪
313
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:37,077
♪ Hopin' for a dream ♪
314
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:42,683
♪ Hopin' for a dream ♪
315
00:14:42,683 --> 00:14:46,286
-♪ Hopin' ♪
-♪ To someday,
somehow have a goal ♪
316
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:47,521
♪ I'll keep fight... ♪
317
00:14:48,522 --> 00:14:50,057
Are we crazy?
318
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:52,526
Can two people,
forbidden from sharing
319
00:14:52,526 --> 00:14:56,196
any personal information,
really make a life together?
320
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,198
I do think we owe it
to each other to try,
321
00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:00,367
um... whoever you are.
322
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,802
I can't wait
323
00:15:01,802 --> 00:15:05,405
until we're
Mr. and Mrs. Redacted.
324
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:08,208
-(banging on door)
- AGENT: FBI.
325
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:09,743
Surrender, hacker scum!
326
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:13,180
If we're going down,
we'll take The Simpsons with us.
327
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:16,416
- I'm gonna play the dog scene.
-(exclaims)
328
00:15:20,454 --> 00:15:22,389
(upbeat voice):
Good morning, Homer.
329
00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:26,727
It's morning?!
330
00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:33,233
-(banging on door)
- AGENT: FBI.
331
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,768
We've got
you cyberterrorists surrounded.
332
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,003
This is it, darling.
333
00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:38,038
I've cued up the very
worst-of-the-worst clips
334
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,306
to play one by one.
335
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:42,276
When we push this button,
The Simpsons dies.
336
00:15:42,276 --> 00:15:44,711
- Together, then?
- Together.
337
00:15:46,547 --> 00:15:49,149
The lies... stop... now.
338
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,817
- Aah!
-(gasps)
339
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,986
I know Eddie is Ralph's father.
340
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:55,522
Look at the hair.
Look at the hair!
341
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:58,258
No, Clancy,
I swear to you it's not true.
342
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:01,628
My son's breath
smells like cat food.
343
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,163
Okay, you got me.
344
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:08,235
(quietly):
I'll have the veal.
345
00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:12,673
The lies... stop... now!
346
00:16:12,673 --> 00:16:14,107
(grunts)
347
00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:16,109
I did a DNA test.
348
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,845
I'm not your son.
349
00:16:17,845 --> 00:16:19,847
Luann, how could you?!
350
00:16:19,847 --> 00:16:21,481
I'm not hers either.
351
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:24,084
We're not your parents?
352
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:25,586
- All right.
- Oh, thank God!
353
00:16:25,586 --> 00:16:28,422
- Yes!
- Oh...
354
00:16:29,223 --> 00:16:32,659
(weakly):
The lies... stop... now.
355
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,027
-(grunts)
- Ow!
356
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:36,163
-(groans)
- Marge,
357
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,065
I'm not your sister.
358
00:16:38,065 --> 00:16:39,833
I'm... your mother.
359
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,768
But... but... wait, what?
360
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:45,939
I was young and briefly hot.
It was a different time.
361
00:16:45,939 --> 00:16:49,610
Back then, we solved things
with huge lies.
362
00:16:49,610 --> 00:16:52,045
Then, who was my real father?
363
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:55,148
His name was Disco...
(grunts)
364
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:58,051
Disco...
(groans)
365
00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:00,687
Disco who? Disco Who?
366
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:04,791
The lies... stop... now!
367
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:05,959
(grunts)
368
00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:08,095
Rake-y, I'm not
your real father.
369
00:17:08,095 --> 00:17:11,064
And I'm not Scottish, I'm Welsh!
370
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:14,134
Oh, don't turn your back on me.
371
00:17:14,935 --> 00:17:17,137
♪
372
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:19,573
MAN:
T-minus one minute to launch.
373
00:17:19,573 --> 00:17:22,543
Ooh.
(chuckling)
374
00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:24,178
All for you, baby.
375
00:17:24,178 --> 00:17:25,979
-(growling)
- Aah!
376
00:17:25,979 --> 00:17:29,149
Aah! Aah!
377
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:32,786
♪ We are the jockeys,
jockeys are we ♪
378
00:17:32,786 --> 00:17:36,990
♪ We live underground
in a fiberglass tree. ♪
379
00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:38,725
-(screams)
- Opa!
380
00:17:39,693 --> 00:17:41,762
(Simpsons theme playing)
381
00:17:44,865 --> 00:17:46,300
(grunting)
382
00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:48,001
(screams)
383
00:17:48,802 --> 00:17:52,272
It's still me on the inside.
384
00:17:54,575 --> 00:17:59,446
Sin-ner! Sin-ner!
385
00:18:01,882 --> 00:18:05,085
Oh, Homie. You're awake.
386
00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:07,387
- What happened?
- You've been in a coma
387
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:10,424
ever since you tried
to jump Springfield Gorge.
388
00:18:10,424 --> 00:18:11,458
How long?
389
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,293
Two days ago.
390
00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:16,697
Two days? But...
I had so many adventures.
391
00:18:16,697 --> 00:18:18,298
More than 700.
392
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:22,202
Those were all coma dreams.
None of them ever happened.
393
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,505
(gasps)
The "B" stories, too?
394
00:18:24,505 --> 00:18:25,973
(sobbing)
395
00:18:25,973 --> 00:18:28,742
I never had a pet lobster?
396
00:18:28,742 --> 00:18:30,944
I never went to space?
397
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:34,348
What about the Halloweens?!
398
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:37,184
Drop your code and move away
from the Internet!
399
00:18:37,184 --> 00:18:38,819
You're both under arrest.
400
00:18:38,819 --> 00:18:41,188
On what charge,
grand theft heart?
401
00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:43,290
Conspiracy to commit to love?
402
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:46,326
Willfully endangering
each other's loneliness?
403
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:48,962
Take one more step
and I'll blow this I. P.
404
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,131
to Magic Kingdom come.
405
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:53,867
Go ahead. You've already
released all the Simpsons files.
406
00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:55,068
No one cared.
407
00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:56,370
The only people still
watching that show
408
00:18:56,370 --> 00:18:59,039
are football fans who
passed out with the TV on.
409
00:18:59,039 --> 00:19:01,675
I am not talking
about The Simpsons.
410
00:19:01,675 --> 00:19:03,911
We've hacked into all of Disney.
411
00:19:03,911 --> 00:19:07,147
That means Star Wars,
Marvel, Pixar.
412
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:08,482
We've even got...
413
00:19:08,482 --> 00:19:10,417
Nat Geo.
414
00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:11,752
You monsters.
415
00:19:11,752 --> 00:19:14,788
If I press this button,
the only Hulk that exists
416
00:19:14,788 --> 00:19:16,456
will be Edward Norton.
417
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:19,092
It'll be like Ruffalo
never happened.
418
00:19:19,092 --> 00:19:20,460
You're bluffing.
419
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:22,996
I'll delete Baby Groot,
Baby Yoda,
420
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:26,800
and their brand-new
top secret character--
421
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,669
Baby Jeff Goldblum.
422
00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:31,805
On the one hand, uh, "goo,"
423
00:19:31,805 --> 00:19:37,911
but I'd be remiss if I didn't
also mention, uh, "gaa."
424
00:19:37,911 --> 00:19:39,613
Oh, my golly.
425
00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:42,115
It's me as a baby.
426
00:19:42,115 --> 00:19:44,117
Good God, she's not bluffing.
427
00:19:44,117 --> 00:19:45,986
Stand down. Let 'em go.
428
00:19:45,986 --> 00:19:49,189
I'll do it.
429
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:51,825
Um... we now return you
to your regularly
430
00:19:51,825 --> 00:19:53,460
"shed-you-uled" programming.
431
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:54,528
(sighs):
Oh.
432
00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:58,565
How do you lose two children?!
433
00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:01,435
What kind of jamboree
are you running here?
434
00:20:01,435 --> 00:20:03,737
(both shuddering)
435
00:20:03,737 --> 00:20:04,738
(Homer and Marge gasp)
436
00:20:04,738 --> 00:20:06,306
HOMER:
Yeah, you're back.
437
00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:09,209
(smooching)
438
00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:10,244
Ew.
439
00:20:10,244 --> 00:20:13,213
When we get home,
can we turn on the TV
440
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:17,284
and never, ever go
outdoors again?
441
00:20:17,284 --> 00:20:20,220
- Please?
- Pretty please?
442
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:23,557
I've never been
prouder of you two.
443
00:20:23,557 --> 00:20:24,925
While you were gone,
444
00:20:24,925 --> 00:20:26,393
your mom and I
almost got divorced
445
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,161
over something insignificant.
446
00:20:28,161 --> 00:20:30,931
Luckily, your dad apologized.
447
00:20:30,931 --> 00:20:32,966
Yup, I got it down
at this point.
448
00:20:32,966 --> 00:20:35,269
It's all about the eye contact.
449
00:20:35,269 --> 00:20:37,571
MARGE:
He knows what works.
450
00:20:37,571 --> 00:20:40,307
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
451
00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:42,809
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
452
00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:45,279
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
453
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:50,884
(female hacker whoops, laughs)
454
00:20:50,884 --> 00:20:52,553
Maybe we didn't get the Bitcoin,
455
00:20:52,553 --> 00:20:54,221
but we've got each other.
456
00:20:54,221 --> 00:20:55,522
Oh, darling,
I think we should do it,
457
00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:58,825
I think we should tell
each other our real names.
458
00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:00,360
My name is Ashley.
459
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,629
-(tires screeching)
- No! So is mine.
460
00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:03,864
- Oh...
- Ashley.
461
00:21:03,864 --> 00:21:05,098
Oh, Ashley.
462
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:08,635
- Ashley, Ashley.
- Oh, oh, British Ashley. Mmm...
463
00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:30,424
Shh!
30493
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