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1
00:00:01,227 --> 00:00:04,319
Previously on Call Me Kat...
2
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:06,672
I had no idea you were coming back.
3
00:00:06,899 --> 00:00:08,156
Obviously you ate well.
4
00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:10,492
This is a juice bar now.
5
00:00:10,586 --> 00:00:11,970
Where are the cats?
6
00:00:11,995 --> 00:00:13,725
I told you she'd notice.
7
00:00:13,750 --> 00:00:15,997
Now I'm at peace.
I just go with the flow.
8
00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:19,243
I even got a tattoo. It's in Sanskrit.
It says "acceptance."
9
00:00:19,261 --> 00:00:21,336
That says "garden salad."
10
00:00:21,361 --> 00:00:22,701
You sold a song?
11
00:00:22,726 --> 00:00:23,930
Aw, please, it's not that big a deal.
12
00:00:24,083 --> 00:00:25,507
- Just to Kacey.
- Kacey...
13
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:29,230
Musgraves. Just a famous person,
who I know.
14
00:00:29,255 --> 00:00:30,604
I didn't fire Randi.
15
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:32,180
She left because I didn't love
16
00:00:32,207 --> 00:00:34,693
every single thing
that she did to my café.
17
00:00:34,718 --> 00:00:35,926
I want you to be my partner.
18
00:00:35,951 --> 00:00:38,572
- Like 50-50?
- Ish.
19
00:00:38,597 --> 00:00:41,299
I've been making my mother
margaritas since I was nine.
20
00:00:48,274 --> 00:00:50,290
I don't care for them.
21
00:00:50,442 --> 00:00:53,443
- What?
- Your new glasses.
22
00:00:53,462 --> 00:00:56,037
I assumed you were going to
ask me eventually.
23
00:00:56,131 --> 00:00:59,058
I wasn't... for this exact reason.
24
00:00:59,209 --> 00:01:01,357
Will you take them off
when we get to the club?
25
00:01:01,382 --> 00:01:02,946
My friends will be there.
26
00:01:03,173 --> 00:01:06,934
Well, if anyone says anything,
you can just pretend not to know me.
27
00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:08,141
Wouldn't be the first time.
28
00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:11,052
Tell the truth, you're
wearing them to spite me.
29
00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:14,401
No, the truth is I need them to see.
30
00:01:14,426 --> 00:01:17,035
That it upsets you is a welcome bonus.
31
00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:18,729
Where'd you get them,
32
00:01:18,754 --> 00:01:22,022
lost and found at the morgue?
33
00:01:23,369 --> 00:01:24,428
Hey!
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00:01:24,453 --> 00:01:26,453
Oh, relax. It was a joke.
35
00:01:26,478 --> 00:01:30,130
Frankly, it's funnier that
you paid money for them.
36
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:34,321
You just ran a stop sign.
Did you not see the big, red octagon?
37
00:01:34,346 --> 00:01:35,921
Don't be such a square.
38
00:01:36,598 --> 00:01:40,029
Geometry? I thought you'd appreciate it,
39
00:01:40,054 --> 00:01:42,993
given you were the only member
of your high school math club.
40
00:01:43,011 --> 00:01:44,845
Hey, one is still a number.
41
00:01:44,997 --> 00:01:46,663
The loneliest.
42
00:01:47,924 --> 00:01:50,867
Oh, great.
Now we're getting pulled over.
43
00:01:50,927 --> 00:01:54,571
I get it, Katharine, you can see
through your hideous glasses.
44
00:01:56,099 --> 00:01:57,740
What are you doing?
45
00:01:57,765 --> 00:01:59,998
Getting out of this ticket.
46
00:02:00,023 --> 00:02:03,288
Seriously, you're gonna flirt
with a motorcycle cop?
47
00:02:03,313 --> 00:02:07,982
Well, I'll start with flirting,
see where it goes.
48
00:02:08,985 --> 00:02:11,044
Okay, I'm gonna record this
because this is exactly
49
00:02:11,062 --> 00:02:13,713
the kind of thing that
my therapist does not believe.
50
00:02:13,731 --> 00:02:16,049
Oh, crap, it's a woman.
51
00:02:16,074 --> 00:02:18,258
- Katharine, unbutton your shirt.
- What?
52
00:02:18,283 --> 00:02:19,449
Maybe she's gay.
53
00:02:19,642 --> 00:02:21,476
I'm not gay.
54
00:02:21,501 --> 00:02:22,683
All right.
55
00:02:23,058 --> 00:02:25,558
Do you hear that, Dr. Bell?
56
00:02:25,577 --> 00:02:27,752
Do you hear that?!
57
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:32,940
- Synced and corrected by
synk -
-
www.addic7ed.com -
58
00:02:34,010 --> 00:02:35,918
You're making a fuss over nothing.
59
00:02:36,087 --> 00:02:39,255
You just got a ticket,
your license is expired,
60
00:02:39,407 --> 00:02:42,642
and you told that officer
I'm an adventurous lover.
61
00:02:43,381 --> 00:02:45,105
Why didn't you just get it renewed?
62
00:02:45,130 --> 00:02:47,165
I didn't want them to change my photo.
63
00:02:47,190 --> 00:02:50,191
That was a hair day for the ages.
64
00:02:50,418 --> 00:02:52,009
Well, now, you're gonna have to
go to the DMV
65
00:02:52,028 --> 00:02:53,528
and take the driving test again.
66
00:02:53,553 --> 00:02:54,810
Can't you take it for me?
67
00:02:55,090 --> 00:02:57,198
We look about the same age.
68
00:02:57,350 --> 00:02:59,016
No.
69
00:02:59,035 --> 00:03:02,019
Although I do love me
some standardized tests.
70
00:03:02,113 --> 00:03:04,931
I used to give them
to myself in math club.
71
00:03:04,949 --> 00:03:07,024
I don't have time to go to the DMV.
72
00:03:07,043 --> 00:03:10,171
Tomorrow's my nail appointment,
Thursday's my chemical peel.
73
00:03:10,196 --> 00:03:11,695
Wait, you know you can't drive anywhere
74
00:03:11,715 --> 00:03:12,955
until you get this done, right?
75
00:03:12,980 --> 00:03:15,147
What is with you war
on beauty, Katharine?
76
00:03:16,553 --> 00:03:21,297
Don't you have any cool friends
I can buy a license from?
77
00:03:21,322 --> 00:03:22,516
No!
78
00:03:22,541 --> 00:03:24,893
'Cause breaking the law is never cool,
79
00:03:25,044 --> 00:03:26,636
unless it involves feeding a meter
80
00:03:26,661 --> 00:03:28,844
so a stranger doesn't get
a parking ticket.
81
00:03:29,065 --> 00:03:32,125
Take that, Louisville Town Center.
82
00:03:32,143 --> 00:03:35,552
Well, if I can't drive myself,
you'll have to drive me everywhere.
83
00:03:35,721 --> 00:03:36,905
Not gonna happen.
84
00:03:37,132 --> 00:03:39,148
Why, are you busy this week?
85
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:43,953
Look at those glasses.
Of course you're not busy.
86
00:03:45,415 --> 00:03:48,565
I am so glad I got glasses.
87
00:03:48,585 --> 00:03:53,335
I can finally see, and I can really
emphasize my point... like this.
88
00:03:55,337 --> 00:03:57,385
Ooh, I love 'em, and I think
you look super sexy.
89
00:03:57,410 --> 00:04:00,911
Well, now that I can see,
I think you look super sexy.
90
00:04:00,931 --> 00:04:04,098
Okay, okay, I like where this is going.
91
00:04:04,250 --> 00:04:06,351
And you just ruined it.
92
00:04:07,787 --> 00:04:10,563
Hey, y'all, it's moonshine season.
93
00:04:10,816 --> 00:04:14,484
Who wants a jug of Mama's skeeter juice?
94
00:04:14,624 --> 00:04:17,625
Isn't that the stuff your cousin used
to burn his fingerprints off?
95
00:04:17,748 --> 00:04:19,080
One and the same.
96
00:04:19,155 --> 00:04:22,323
It'll also take the roots
out of your sewer line.
97
00:04:22,459 --> 00:04:24,262
Oh, okay, well, sign me up.
98
00:04:24,287 --> 00:04:27,438
- So long, laser hair removal.
- I'll take two.
99
00:04:27,457 --> 00:04:29,624
I just found out my son's
production of Pippin
100
00:04:29,851 --> 00:04:31,867
isn't about Scottie.
101
00:04:32,020 --> 00:04:34,870
Mama is gonna be so proud of me.
102
00:04:35,023 --> 00:04:36,872
I sold 'em all and didn't even have to
103
00:04:36,967 --> 00:04:39,300
go to the high school this year.
104
00:04:40,554 --> 00:04:43,130
I've got amazing news.
105
00:04:43,155 --> 00:04:44,988
You do? Hang on.
106
00:04:45,416 --> 00:04:46,866
I'm listening.
107
00:04:46,884 --> 00:04:49,793
One of my songs is gonna be
in a commercial.
108
00:04:49,813 --> 00:04:52,647
What?! That's amazing. Which song?
109
00:04:52,672 --> 00:04:55,391
"Say No More." The one about
maybe meeting my dad someday.
110
00:04:55,485 --> 00:04:57,043
I love that song.
111
00:04:57,045 --> 00:04:59,061
* I come home and I wonder *
112
00:04:59,214 --> 00:05:02,323
* What was the journey for? *
113
00:05:02,348 --> 00:05:03,881
* My dad just sips his whiskey *
114
00:05:04,143 --> 00:05:07,236
* It's all right, son, say no more *
115
00:05:07,388 --> 00:05:09,905
I can't wait to get drunk with my son.
116
00:05:10,058 --> 00:05:12,183
What's the commercial about?
117
00:05:12,243 --> 00:05:14,335
No idea. It got bought by
one of those huge companies
118
00:05:14,487 --> 00:05:17,005
that makes everything from beer
to frozen pizza,
119
00:05:17,030 --> 00:05:19,697
but the important thing is
I'm gonna get paid!
120
00:05:19,843 --> 00:05:21,843
Ooh, I hear that. New espresso machine
121
00:05:21,994 --> 00:05:24,737
coming our way, roomie. Yes!
122
00:05:26,683 --> 00:05:27,923
Hello, Mother.
123
00:05:28,018 --> 00:05:29,500
Well, I hope you're happy.
124
00:05:29,519 --> 00:05:31,744
I've taken one of your
ride-share services,
125
00:05:31,837 --> 00:05:33,504
and now I'm being abducted.
126
00:05:33,523 --> 00:05:36,082
Ma'am, I promise you, I'm not ab...
127
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:39,068
I checked the box that said
"no conversation."
128
00:05:40,104 --> 00:05:42,346
Mother, no one is gonna kidnap you.
129
00:05:42,365 --> 00:05:46,776
And if they do, I assure you
they will pay me to take you back.
130
00:05:46,852 --> 00:05:48,761
Why are we going through downtown?
131
00:05:48,763 --> 00:05:50,257
There's an accident on 64.
132
00:05:50,282 --> 00:05:52,024
I'm sure.
133
00:05:52,283 --> 00:05:56,452
Katharine, how do I use
that pepper spray you gave me?
134
00:05:56,477 --> 00:05:59,686
Oh, that's air freshener.
I would never give you a weapon. Bye!
135
00:05:59,711 --> 00:06:03,305
To Max and his messed up
relationship with his dad.
136
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:05,238
And to Mama for once again
137
00:06:05,263 --> 00:06:07,446
outsmarting the po-po.
138
00:06:10,820 --> 00:06:12,000
Ugh.
139
00:06:12,025 --> 00:06:13,767
Hoo-wee!
140
00:06:14,059 --> 00:06:16,727
So that's why people make that noise.
141
00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:18,710
Can you believe is was distilled
142
00:06:18,735 --> 00:06:21,986
in the same bathtub I was born in?
143
00:06:26,818 --> 00:06:28,968
Okay, next question.
"Two vehicles arrive
144
00:06:28,986 --> 00:06:30,970
"at a four-way stop at the same time.
145
00:06:31,063 --> 00:06:32,229
Who has the right of way?"
146
00:06:32,248 --> 00:06:34,824
Obviously, the most expensive car.
147
00:06:34,918 --> 00:06:36,751
This is still America.
148
00:06:37,615 --> 00:06:39,740
The correct answer is
the car to your right.
149
00:06:39,765 --> 00:06:42,648
Unless you're in Detroit.
Don't ever stop in Detroit.
150
00:06:42,673 --> 00:06:44,005
Here's an easy one.
151
00:06:44,030 --> 00:06:48,457
"At what blood alcohol
concentration are you impaired?"
152
00:06:48,673 --> 00:06:50,005
Me personally?
153
00:06:50,158 --> 00:06:52,341
When I start telling people I love them.
154
00:06:53,328 --> 00:06:56,162
I've never seen you that drunk.
Look, if you're not gonna
155
00:06:56,255 --> 00:06:58,180
take this seriously, there's
no way you're gonna pass.
156
00:06:58,274 --> 00:07:01,776
Oh, who cares? So I'm driving
on an expired license.
157
00:07:01,853 --> 00:07:03,836
What are they gonna do,
throw me in jail?
158
00:07:03,838 --> 00:07:05,771
That's exactly what they're gonna do!
159
00:07:06,296 --> 00:07:09,508
And you know what they have in jail?
Florescent lighting.
160
00:07:09,602 --> 00:07:10,968
You don't scare me.
161
00:07:10,970 --> 00:07:12,862
I drove here today and nothing happened.
162
00:07:12,887 --> 00:07:14,703
- What?!
- That's right.
163
00:07:14,728 --> 00:07:17,379
And I solved the Wordle
at the same time.
164
00:07:17,869 --> 00:07:21,129
You can't drive with an expired license.
165
00:07:21,154 --> 00:07:23,220
Watch me, four-eyes.
166
00:07:26,194 --> 00:07:29,211
Give me your keys.
167
00:07:29,305 --> 00:07:33,048
If you want my keys,
you'll have to take them.
168
00:07:33,201 --> 00:07:37,645
Dang, that made my neck tingle.
169
00:07:37,796 --> 00:07:39,981
Yeah, she'll do fine in jail.
170
00:07:40,057 --> 00:07:42,633
I'm serious. Give me your purse.
171
00:07:42,652 --> 00:07:44,877
- Let go.
- You let go.
172
00:07:44,970 --> 00:07:46,803
Don't hurt it, it's Gucci!
173
00:07:46,823 --> 00:07:50,491
Why can't you see I am doing this
for your own...
174
00:07:50,643 --> 00:07:53,786
good?
175
00:07:54,739 --> 00:07:57,373
Keys weren't even in my purse.
176
00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:09,343
Dude, in less than two minutes,
your song is gonna be on national TV.
177
00:08:09,368 --> 00:08:12,375
And then two minutes after that,
we're gonna watched a masked celebrity
178
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,175
dressed as a taco
singing "La Vida Loca."
179
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,482
Ooh. Get ready to be
on my Instagram Live, Max!
180
00:08:17,507 --> 00:08:20,079
Come on. You know I don't like
being the center of attention.
181
00:08:20,172 --> 00:08:22,787
Darren, grab me one of those
drinks that you named after me.
182
00:08:22,812 --> 00:08:26,694
Oh, one Max on the Beach
coming right up!
183
00:08:26,921 --> 00:08:28,421
You're practically famous.
184
00:08:28,439 --> 00:08:31,181
It would be like if Carter's
afro ever gets on Is It Cake?
185
00:08:31,350 --> 00:08:32,942
I've sent pictures in four times.
186
00:08:33,036 --> 00:08:35,761
What are they so afraid of?
187
00:08:35,854 --> 00:08:39,782
My cousin Janice was on TV once,
but it was Cops.
188
00:08:39,934 --> 00:08:41,450
She wasn't wearing pants.
189
00:08:41,544 --> 00:08:43,419
We were so proud.
190
00:08:45,197 --> 00:08:47,271
Hey, hey, Instagram.
191
00:08:47,296 --> 00:08:49,764
We are live
with songwriter Max Kingbird.
192
00:08:49,789 --> 00:08:51,678
- What up, Gram?
- We're roomies, too.
193
00:08:51,703 --> 00:08:53,381
He ate my damn yogurt this morning.
194
00:08:53,406 --> 00:08:55,834
Anyway, say something to your fans.
195
00:08:55,859 --> 00:08:58,452
Hey, guys.
Uh, this song is about my dad.
196
00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:00,454
It really means a lot to me.
197
00:09:00,606 --> 00:09:02,548
I'm just so honored
that you all are gonna hear it.
198
00:09:02,717 --> 00:09:05,217
And if you're hot, single,
and in Louisville,
199
00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:07,219
we are getting hammered on moonshine
200
00:09:07,370 --> 00:09:09,054
at The Middle C.
201
00:09:09,206 --> 00:09:13,116
He's kidding. We don't want
no Feds up in the holler.
202
00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:15,302
Wait. I think they're going
to a commercial break.
203
00:09:15,454 --> 00:09:17,968
Uh, quiet down, everybody.
204
00:09:17,993 --> 00:09:19,384
Can everybody please quiet down?
205
00:09:19,641 --> 00:09:22,401
Hey, shut the hell up!
206
00:09:23,212 --> 00:09:25,379
Oh, uh, I think they heard you
207
00:09:25,404 --> 00:09:28,164
'cause they were already
quieting from when I... said it.
208
00:09:30,819 --> 00:09:32,727
Oh, boy.
209
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:41,328
I'm back.
210
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:45,340
I love it when people come back.
211
00:09:49,913 --> 00:09:52,431
* I come home and I wonder *
212
00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:56,584
* What was the journey for... *
213
00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:05,611
What the hell did they do to your song?
214
00:10:06,054 --> 00:10:10,841
It's a disaster. The labradoodle's flat.
215
00:10:12,602 --> 00:10:15,529
Neumann's Hill Farm Fresh Dog Food...
216
00:10:15,554 --> 00:10:19,806
Organic, healthy, delicious.
217
00:10:26,776 --> 00:10:29,085
How great was that?
218
00:10:30,712 --> 00:10:33,880
I-I think my aunt uses that dog food.
219
00:10:33,974 --> 00:10:36,975
That's the end of my story.
220
00:10:37,127 --> 00:10:39,311
Look, it's broadcast TV.
221
00:10:39,538 --> 00:10:42,147
No one our age is watching.
222
00:10:42,299 --> 00:10:44,900
Except for all of y'all. You're cool.
223
00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:54,743
Sorry. My thumb already had it going.
224
00:10:59,834 --> 00:11:03,651
Hey, I got champagne
if you want to celebrate
225
00:11:03,745 --> 00:11:06,463
and tequila if you want
to get white-girl wasted.
226
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:10,567
Okay, champagne with tequila.
227
00:11:10,702 --> 00:11:13,387
That's called "The Oldest Bridesmaid."
228
00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:16,181
I wrote that song about wanting
229
00:11:16,408 --> 00:11:19,076
to connect with my father
before he dies.
230
00:11:19,912 --> 00:11:22,746
Nobody's gonna take me seriously now.
231
00:11:22,839 --> 00:11:24,172
That is not true.
232
00:11:24,197 --> 00:11:26,456
Eddie Vedder got his start
writing the jingle for Chili's.
233
00:11:26,676 --> 00:11:29,586
- Really?
- Don't google it, but yeah.
234
00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:33,256
Look, I know that did not
turn out the way you expected,
235
00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:34,902
but it's still a huge deal, Max.
236
00:11:34,927 --> 00:11:38,019
Look, I get what you're trying
to do, but I'm not in the mood.
237
00:11:38,038 --> 00:11:39,328
Max, it's not like
it's the end of your...
238
00:11:39,353 --> 00:11:41,007
Kat, stop.
239
00:11:41,116 --> 00:11:43,191
I want to be alone.
240
00:11:43,210 --> 00:11:46,670
Right. Sorry.
241
00:11:48,273 --> 00:11:49,956
Are you Max Kingbird?
242
00:11:50,050 --> 00:11:51,458
We saw you on Instagram Live.
243
00:11:51,483 --> 00:11:53,515
Oh, sorry, ladies.
He's not really in the mood.
244
00:11:53,540 --> 00:11:55,422
Hang on.
245
00:11:55,447 --> 00:11:59,132
Have you ladies ever heard of a
drink called "The Oldest Bridesmaid"?
246
00:11:59,157 --> 00:12:01,082
Here. Right this way. Right this way.
247
00:12:01,228 --> 00:12:03,211
- Max.
- What?
248
00:12:03,230 --> 00:12:05,898
Misery loves...
249
00:12:06,049 --> 00:12:07,900
A threesome.
250
00:12:10,553 --> 00:12:13,130
Okay, it's your driver's test,
and I'm the DMV person.
251
00:12:13,298 --> 00:12:15,815
Why don't we start by pulling
into that Fuddruckers?
252
00:12:15,968 --> 00:12:17,300
Okay.
253
00:12:17,394 --> 00:12:18,779
No! It's a trick.
254
00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:20,913
You don't go to Fuddruckers
on your driver's test!
255
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:23,490
You get to go after if you pass.
256
00:12:23,642 --> 00:12:27,144
Or fail. Either way,
we're going to Fuddruckers.
257
00:12:27,162 --> 00:12:28,495
Oh, red light.
258
00:12:28,589 --> 00:12:31,998
Yes, I can see that. Thank you.
259
00:12:32,092 --> 00:12:33,756
Really? Lipstick right now?
260
00:12:33,781 --> 00:12:34,795
It's for you.
261
00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:37,504
It'll draw the eye away
from those glasses.
262
00:12:37,656 --> 00:12:39,506
Yeah, well, say what you will,
263
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,174
but that motorcycle cop called me.
264
00:12:41,268 --> 00:12:43,435
She wants to have drinks Friday night.
265
00:12:44,079 --> 00:12:46,231
- Green light.
- I know.
266
00:12:46,256 --> 00:12:47,974
I just like to be a careful
and courteous...
267
00:12:47,999 --> 00:12:51,058
Oh, bite me, asshat!
268
00:12:51,779 --> 00:12:53,837
Yeah, you're gonna sail
through this driving test.
269
00:12:53,930 --> 00:12:56,931
I don't know why you enjoy
criticizing me so much.
270
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:58,450
Are you kidding me right now?
271
00:12:58,601 --> 00:13:00,510
You do nothing but criticize me.
272
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:03,180
Oh, so now I'm a bad driver
and a bad mother?
273
00:13:03,273 --> 00:13:06,349
I never said you were a bad driver.
274
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:10,111
It doesn't matter how I drive.
I'm going to fail anyway.
275
00:13:10,130 --> 00:13:12,022
Why do you say that?
276
00:13:12,115 --> 00:13:13,882
I'm going blind.
277
00:13:16,453 --> 00:13:18,136
What?
278
00:13:19,364 --> 00:13:21,214
I found out while you were on your trip.
279
00:13:21,976 --> 00:13:24,977
I don't understand. How could you...?
280
00:13:25,002 --> 00:13:27,436
Oh, bite me, asshat!
281
00:13:34,637 --> 00:13:38,398
I have macular degeneration.
282
00:13:38,475 --> 00:13:42,709
A fancy way of saying that,
over the next five to ten years,
283
00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:44,807
I'm going to lose my sight.
284
00:13:44,832 --> 00:13:47,326
There's got to be something they can do.
285
00:13:47,351 --> 00:13:48,391
Well, there isn't.
286
00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:51,652
I'm taking medication,
but it'll only slow it down.
287
00:13:51,672 --> 00:13:55,398
And that's why you never went
to get your license renewed.
288
00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:57,992
I knew I couldn't pass the eye exam.
289
00:13:58,070 --> 00:13:59,827
I'm so sorry.
290
00:13:59,921 --> 00:14:04,640
I always thought, if I didn't
act old, I wouldn't get old.
291
00:14:06,745 --> 00:14:11,570
I don't know what kind of life
I'm going to have if I can't drive.
292
00:14:12,008 --> 00:14:14,192
We'll figure something out.
293
00:14:14,344 --> 00:14:15,752
I did figure it out.
294
00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:19,347
I was going to continue to
drive illegally, and you ruined it.
295
00:14:19,366 --> 00:14:22,200
- Mother...
- Look, Katharine, it is what it is,
296
00:14:22,427 --> 00:14:24,786
and wallowing isn't going to help.
297
00:14:26,707 --> 00:14:30,333
Find me the nearest bar.
298
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:34,690
Wait. You can't drive if you can't see.
299
00:14:34,715 --> 00:14:37,751
And you can't get a man
if you wear those ski goggles,
300
00:14:37,776 --> 00:14:39,593
but here we are.
301
00:14:51,306 --> 00:14:52,639
- Hey, baby.
- Hey.
302
00:14:52,791 --> 00:14:55,308
You think I could have a career
as a hand model?
303
00:14:55,402 --> 00:14:58,219
I think I'm rewatching Bridgerton,
304
00:14:58,271 --> 00:15:00,072
and the duke is about
to take off his shirt.
305
00:15:00,097 --> 00:15:03,115
Well, I was picking up dinner,
and I was reaching for the lasagna,
306
00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:05,612
and the lady said,
"You have lovely hands."
307
00:15:05,637 --> 00:15:08,246
- She just wanted a bigger tip.
- That don't make her a liar.
308
00:15:08,398 --> 00:15:10,231
Should we get mani-pedis this weekend?
309
00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:12,642
Can I just watch my lady porn?
310
00:15:15,089 --> 00:15:16,737
What's up, Darren?
311
00:15:16,757 --> 00:15:19,833
Make it quick. I'm about
to Bridgerton and chill.
312
00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:22,260
No, he isn't.
313
00:15:22,429 --> 00:15:24,337
You might want to come down here.
314
00:15:26,197 --> 00:15:28,014
* Woof, woof *
315
00:15:28,039 --> 00:15:30,707
* Woof, woof, woof. *
316
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,333
Come on, everybody.
317
00:15:36,351 --> 00:15:40,570
Put your paws together!
318
00:15:41,673 --> 00:15:43,698
Crap.
319
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:55,127
I must really be drunk.
I can't even taste the whiskey in this.
320
00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:56,611
It's coffee.
321
00:15:56,630 --> 00:16:00,465
Yeah, I'm not doing caffeine these days.
It's bad for your health.
322
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,076
What the hell is wrong with you?
323
00:16:03,101 --> 00:16:06,529
You come down here, get drunk,
bark at my customers.
324
00:16:06,623 --> 00:16:10,216
I ought to swat you on the nose
with a rolled-up newspaper.
325
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:12,369
Have you seen TikTok lately?
326
00:16:12,387 --> 00:16:14,220
You talking about
the bikini jump-rope challenge?
327
00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:16,091
It's okay to look
328
00:16:16,116 --> 00:16:20,394
'cause they're raising money
for juvenile diabetes.
329
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:25,192
Thousands of people
posted videos singing my song
330
00:16:25,217 --> 00:16:27,066
with their dogs.
331
00:16:29,054 --> 00:16:31,145
I'm an Internet joke.
332
00:16:31,223 --> 00:16:33,890
I wrote the new
"Never Gonna Give You Up."
333
00:16:33,983 --> 00:16:37,727
Oh, you must be drunk if you're
hating on my boy Rick Astley.
334
00:16:38,488 --> 00:16:41,581
I thought
it was gonna go away, but now...
335
00:16:41,733 --> 00:16:45,402
It's gonna dog you forever?
336
00:16:45,495 --> 00:16:48,680
Damn. How come I'm always clever
when Randi's not around?
337
00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:52,184
That song came from my heart.
338
00:16:52,335 --> 00:16:54,686
I'm an artist.
339
00:16:54,913 --> 00:16:57,597
Oh, you're an artist now.
340
00:16:57,749 --> 00:17:00,417
I thought you were a guy
who just threw up in my piano.
341
00:17:00,435 --> 00:17:02,891
- You don't get it.
- I don't get it?
342
00:17:02,916 --> 00:17:06,175
You wrote that song so people
would hear it and enjoy it.
343
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:08,608
And now, all those people do.
344
00:17:08,702 --> 00:17:11,036
I don't know, man.
345
00:17:11,187 --> 00:17:13,112
Sounds like a win to me.
346
00:17:13,207 --> 00:17:16,282
And that's not just me
throwing you a bone.
347
00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:19,044
I don't like clever Carter.
348
00:17:19,195 --> 00:17:20,879
And I don't like having
to drive down here
349
00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:22,622
and leave behind lasagna
350
00:17:22,774 --> 00:17:24,958
and a girlfriend who's all
revved up from Bridgerton.
351
00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:27,126
Bridgerton, man!
352
00:17:27,295 --> 00:17:29,128
I just don't want to be known as the guy
353
00:17:29,297 --> 00:17:31,389
who did the stupid dog food song.
354
00:17:31,541 --> 00:17:34,601
Better than being the guy
who never did anything.
355
00:17:37,456 --> 00:17:39,231
Can you take me home?
356
00:17:39,382 --> 00:17:42,225
Sure. Hey, if we hurry,
357
00:17:42,250 --> 00:17:44,173
I'll still have time
to hit Randi with a little,
358
00:17:44,198 --> 00:17:47,480
"Evenin' Duchess.
You fancy me bangers and mash?"
359
00:17:47,632 --> 00:17:50,408
I really don't know
why Randi has sex with you.
360
00:17:51,245 --> 00:17:53,649
Hey, you think I could be a hand model?
361
00:17:53,674 --> 00:17:54,781
What?
362
00:17:54,806 --> 00:17:59,209
Just imagine a slo-mo shot
of me putting on lotion.
363
00:18:02,048 --> 00:18:03,214
Hello?
364
00:18:03,239 --> 00:18:04,739
Oh, Katharine?
365
00:18:04,758 --> 00:18:06,983
Hey.
366
00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:08,318
What are you doing here?
367
00:18:08,336 --> 00:18:11,821
Wait. How much do you need?
368
00:18:11,914 --> 00:18:15,600
I don't need money.
I've got a mother who loves me.
369
00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:20,272
There's your father's sense of whimsy.
370
00:18:20,423 --> 00:18:23,166
I came to take you to yoga.
371
00:18:23,259 --> 00:18:26,260
Oh. Well, since I can't drive,
372
00:18:26,338 --> 00:18:29,263
I... I hadn't planned on
going anyplace for a while.
373
00:18:29,283 --> 00:18:30,857
That's why I'm here.
374
00:18:31,009 --> 00:18:34,935
I took the day off so I can take
you to yoga and the hair salon.
375
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:38,123
I'm pretty sure I'm still owed
a trip to Fuddruckers.
376
00:18:38,350 --> 00:18:40,033
I can't ask you to do that.
377
00:18:40,127 --> 00:18:41,942
You don't have to ask.
378
00:18:41,962 --> 00:18:43,870
I want to.
379
00:18:43,946 --> 00:18:45,188
Really?
380
00:18:45,206 --> 00:18:47,448
Of course. You're my mother.
381
00:18:47,467 --> 00:18:50,260
I'm not gonna let you
go through this alone.
382
00:18:54,123 --> 00:18:55,715
Why are you squeezing me?
383
00:18:55,809 --> 00:18:57,458
Oh. It's a hug.
384
00:18:57,536 --> 00:19:00,437
Cross that off my bucket list.
385
00:19:02,374 --> 00:19:04,607
I love you, sweetheart.
386
00:19:05,301 --> 00:19:07,393
I love you, too.
387
00:19:07,546 --> 00:19:10,547
As long as we're going to
my salon, won't you let Francois
388
00:19:10,565 --> 00:19:12,473
- finally...?
- Okay, don't push it.
389
00:19:12,492 --> 00:19:15,577
Sorry if I wanted you to look
nice for your new lady friend.
390
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,434
Hey, Internet. I'm Max Kingbird.
391
00:19:24,459 --> 00:19:27,207
I wrote the song that inspired
all the singing dog videos,
392
00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:31,417
uh, trending number two right below
"hashtag double-D double Dutch."
393
00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:34,804
Anyway, I thought maybe
you'd like to hear my version.
394
00:19:36,516 --> 00:19:39,517
* Touchdown in Baton Rouge *
395
00:19:40,354 --> 00:19:42,451
* 20 years gone... *
396
00:19:42,476 --> 00:19:43,498
Take it partner.
397
00:19:43,523 --> 00:19:47,174
* Tough old man I hardly know says *
398
00:19:47,194 --> 00:19:50,010
* "Welcome home, son" *
399
00:19:50,030 --> 00:19:53,678
* The years were written on his face *
400
00:19:53,718 --> 00:19:57,350
* They gave way to a smile *
401
00:19:57,375 --> 00:20:01,350
* He shook my hand
and poured a glass, and said *
402
00:20:01,375 --> 00:20:03,726
* "Won't you stay a while?" *
403
00:20:04,866 --> 00:20:06,106
* Said... * Oh.
404
00:20:06,131 --> 00:20:07,614
Oh.
405
00:20:07,938 --> 00:20:10,531
Hey. Hey.
406
00:20:14,690 --> 00:20:19,586
* Touchdown in Baton Rouge,
20 years gone *
407
00:20:19,611 --> 00:20:23,021
* A tough old man I hardly know said *
408
00:20:23,046 --> 00:20:24,395
* "Welcome home, son" *
409
00:20:24,420 --> 00:20:29,273
* I come home and I wonder,
what was the journey for *
410
00:20:29,915 --> 00:20:32,249
* My old man sips his whiskey *
411
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:34,941
* "It's all right, son. Say no more" *
412
00:20:34,966 --> 00:20:36,983
* My old man sips his whiskey *
413
00:20:37,060 --> 00:20:42,497
* "It's all right, son. Say no more." *
414
00:20:46,523 --> 00:20:50,523
- Synced and corrected by
synk -
-
www.addic7ed.com -
31141