Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,227 --> 00:00:04,319
Previously on Call Me Kat...
2
00:00:04,804 --> 00:00:07,138
I had no idea you were coming back.
3
00:00:07,163 --> 00:00:08,817
Obviously you ate well.
4
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,117
This is a juice bar now.
5
00:00:11,211 --> 00:00:12,595
Where are the cats?
6
00:00:12,620 --> 00:00:14,147
I told you she'd notice.
7
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:16,622
Now I'm at peace.
I just go with the flow.
8
00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:19,868
I even got a tattoo. It's in Sanskrit.
It says "acceptance."
9
00:00:19,886 --> 00:00:21,961
That says "garden salad."
10
00:00:21,986 --> 00:00:23,163
You sold a song?
11
00:00:23,164 --> 00:00:24,555
Aw, please, it's not that big a deal.
12
00:00:24,708 --> 00:00:26,132
- Just to Kacey.
- Kacey...
13
00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:29,529
Musgraves. Just a famous person,
who I know.
14
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,229
I didn't fire Randi.
15
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:32,805
She left because I didn't love
16
00:00:32,832 --> 00:00:35,318
every single thing
that she did to my café.
17
00:00:35,343 --> 00:00:36,551
I want you to be my partner.
18
00:00:36,576 --> 00:00:39,197
- Like 50-50?
- Ish.
19
00:00:39,222 --> 00:00:41,924
I've been making my mother
margaritas since I was nine.
20
00:00:49,391 --> 00:00:50,915
I don't care for them.
21
00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,068
- What?
- Your new glasses.
22
00:00:54,087 --> 00:00:56,662
I assumed you were going to
ask me eventually.
23
00:00:56,756 --> 00:00:59,683
I wasn't... for this exact reason.
24
00:00:59,834 --> 00:01:01,982
Will you take them off
when we get to the club?
25
00:01:02,007 --> 00:01:03,571
My friends will be there.
26
00:01:04,121 --> 00:01:07,336
Well, if anyone says anything,
you can just pretend not to know me.
27
00:01:07,337 --> 00:01:08,766
Wouldn't be the first time.
28
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:11,677
Tell the truth, you're
wearing them to spite me.
29
00:01:12,122 --> 00:01:15,026
No, the truth is I need them to see.
30
00:01:15,051 --> 00:01:17,431
That it upsets you is a welcome bonus.
31
00:01:17,685 --> 00:01:19,354
Where'd you get them,
32
00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:21,973
lost and found at the morgue?
33
00:01:23,752 --> 00:01:24,921
Hey!
34
00:01:24,922 --> 00:01:27,078
Oh, relax. It was a joke.
35
00:01:27,103 --> 00:01:30,755
Frankly, it's funnier that
you paid money for them.
36
00:01:30,865 --> 00:01:34,687
You just ran a stop sign.
Did you not see the big, red octagon?
37
00:01:34,688 --> 00:01:36,546
Don't be such a square.
38
00:01:37,223 --> 00:01:40,654
Geometry? I thought you'd appreciate it,
39
00:01:40,679 --> 00:01:43,339
given you were the only member
of your high school math club.
40
00:01:43,712 --> 00:01:45,470
Hey, one is still a number.
41
00:01:45,622 --> 00:01:46,957
The loneliest.
42
00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:51,492
Oh, great.
Now we're getting pulled over.
43
00:01:51,552 --> 00:01:55,196
I get it, Katharine, you can see
through your hideous glasses.
44
00:01:56,724 --> 00:01:58,365
What are you doing?
45
00:01:58,390 --> 00:02:00,623
Getting out of this ticket.
46
00:02:00,648 --> 00:02:03,913
Seriously, you're gonna flirt
with a motorcycle cop?
47
00:02:03,938 --> 00:02:07,650
Well, I'll start with flirting,
see where it goes.
48
00:02:09,288 --> 00:02:11,669
Okay, I'm gonna record this
because this is exactly
49
00:02:11,687 --> 00:02:13,952
the kind of thing that
my therapist does not believe.
50
00:02:14,356 --> 00:02:16,270
Oh, crap, it's a woman.
51
00:02:16,271 --> 00:02:18,465
- Katharine, unbutton your shirt.
- What?
52
00:02:18,466 --> 00:02:19,755
Maybe she's gay.
53
00:02:20,066 --> 00:02:21,814
I'm not gay.
54
00:02:21,839 --> 00:02:23,021
All right.
55
00:02:24,135 --> 00:02:25,964
Do you hear that, Dr. Bell?
56
00:02:25,965 --> 00:02:27,879
Do you hear that?!
57
00:02:29,565 --> 00:02:33,565
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
58
00:02:34,424 --> 00:02:36,332
You're making a fuss over nothing.
59
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,888
You just got a ticket,
your license is expired,
60
00:02:40,032 --> 00:02:42,836
and you told that officer
I'm an adventurous lover.
61
00:02:43,693 --> 00:02:45,490
Why didn't you just get it renewed?
62
00:02:45,491 --> 00:02:47,567
I didn't want them to change my photo.
63
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:50,592
That was a hair day for the ages.
64
00:02:50,593 --> 00:02:52,634
Well, now, you're gonna have to
go to the DMV
65
00:02:52,653 --> 00:02:53,809
and take the driving test again.
66
00:02:53,810 --> 00:02:55,345
Can't you take it for me?
67
00:02:55,346 --> 00:02:57,436
We look about the same age.
68
00:02:58,149 --> 00:02:59,395
No.
69
00:02:59,825 --> 00:03:02,219
Although I do love me
some standardized tests.
70
00:03:02,220 --> 00:03:04,479
I used to give them
to myself in math club.
71
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:07,417
I don't have time to go to the DMV.
72
00:03:07,418 --> 00:03:10,447
Tomorrow's my nail appointment,
Thursday's my chemical peel.
73
00:03:10,448 --> 00:03:12,059
Wait, you know you can't drive anywhere
74
00:03:12,060 --> 00:03:13,361
until you get this done, right?
75
00:03:13,362 --> 00:03:15,772
What is with you war
on beauty, Katharine?
76
00:03:17,108 --> 00:03:21,252
Don't you have any cool friends
I can buy a license from?
77
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:22,905
No!
78
00:03:22,906 --> 00:03:25,258
'Cause breaking the law is never cool,
79
00:03:25,259 --> 00:03:26,989
unless it involves feeding a meter
80
00:03:26,990 --> 00:03:28,971
so a stranger doesn't get
a parking ticket.
81
00:03:29,407 --> 00:03:31,725
Take that, Louisville Town Center.
82
00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:35,951
Well, if I can't drive myself,
you'll have to drive me everywhere.
83
00:03:35,952 --> 00:03:37,460
Not gonna happen.
84
00:03:37,461 --> 00:03:39,697
Why, are you busy this week?
85
00:03:40,113 --> 00:03:43,503
Look at those glasses.
Of course you're not busy.
86
00:03:46,335 --> 00:03:48,697
I am so glad I got glasses.
87
00:03:48,722 --> 00:03:53,763
I can finally see, and I can really
emphasize my point... like this.
88
00:03:55,551 --> 00:03:57,887
Ooh, I love 'em, and I think
you look super sexy.
89
00:03:57,888 --> 00:04:00,733
Well, now that I can see,
I think you look super sexy.
90
00:04:01,266 --> 00:04:04,082
Okay, okay, I like where this is going.
91
00:04:04,605 --> 00:04:06,585
And you just ruined it.
92
00:04:07,949 --> 00:04:11,318
Hey, y'all, it's moonshine season.
93
00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:15,002
Who wants a jug of Mama's skeeter juice?
94
00:04:15,003 --> 00:04:17,992
Isn't that the stuff your cousin used
to burn his fingerprints off?
95
00:04:17,993 --> 00:04:19,560
One and the same.
96
00:04:19,561 --> 00:04:22,736
It'll also take the roots
out of your sewer line.
97
00:04:22,737 --> 00:04:24,689
Oh, okay, well, sign me up.
98
00:04:24,690 --> 00:04:28,063
- So long, laser hair removal.
- I'll take two.
99
00:04:28,082 --> 00:04:30,249
I just found out my son's
production of Pippin
100
00:04:30,274 --> 00:04:31,979
isn't about Scottie.
101
00:04:32,435 --> 00:04:35,367
Mama is gonna be so proud of me.
102
00:04:35,368 --> 00:04:37,220
I sold 'em all and didn't even have to
103
00:04:37,221 --> 00:04:39,710
go to the high school this year.
104
00:04:41,624 --> 00:04:43,498
I've got amazing news.
105
00:04:43,499 --> 00:04:45,117
You do? Hang on.
106
00:04:45,710 --> 00:04:47,197
I'm listening.
107
00:04:47,585 --> 00:04:49,899
One of my songs is gonna be
in a commercial.
108
00:04:49,900 --> 00:04:52,656
What?! That's amazing. Which song?
109
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:55,727
"Say No More." The one about
maybe meeting my dad someday.
110
00:04:55,728 --> 00:04:57,201
I love that song.
111
00:04:57,202 --> 00:04:59,572
♪ I come home and I wonder ♪
112
00:04:59,573 --> 00:05:02,314
♪ What was the journey for? ♪
113
00:05:02,315 --> 00:05:04,521
♪ My dad just sips his whiskey ♪
114
00:05:04,522 --> 00:05:07,145
♪ It's all right, son, say no more ♪
115
00:05:07,786 --> 00:05:10,050
I can't wait to get drunk with my son.
116
00:05:10,445 --> 00:05:12,440
What's the commercial about?
117
00:05:12,441 --> 00:05:15,004
No idea. It got bought by
one of those huge companies
118
00:05:15,005 --> 00:05:17,345
that makes everything from beer
to frozen pizza,
119
00:05:17,346 --> 00:05:20,322
but the important thing is
I'm gonna get paid!
120
00:05:20,468 --> 00:05:22,411
Ooh, I hear that. New espresso machine
121
00:05:22,412 --> 00:05:25,132
coming our way, roomie. Yes!
122
00:05:27,081 --> 00:05:28,548
Hello, Mother.
123
00:05:28,643 --> 00:05:29,868
Well, I hope you're happy.
124
00:05:29,869 --> 00:05:32,204
I've taken one of your
ride-share services,
125
00:05:32,205 --> 00:05:33,924
and now I'm being abducted.
126
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,707
Ma'am, I promise you, I'm not ab...
127
00:05:36,732 --> 00:05:39,217
I checked the box that said
"no conversation."
128
00:05:40,558 --> 00:05:42,695
Mother, no one is gonna kidnap you.
129
00:05:42,696 --> 00:05:46,502
And if they do, I assure you
they will pay me to take you back.
130
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:49,150
Why are we going through downtown?
131
00:05:49,151 --> 00:05:50,636
There's an accident on 64.
132
00:05:50,637 --> 00:05:51,710
I'm sure.
133
00:05:52,889 --> 00:05:56,202
Katharine, how do I use
that pepper spray you gave me?
134
00:05:56,698 --> 00:06:00,075
Oh, that's air freshener.
I would never give you a weapon. Bye!
135
00:06:00,336 --> 00:06:03,365
To Max and his messed up
relationship with his dad.
136
00:06:03,366 --> 00:06:05,587
And to Mama for once again
137
00:06:05,588 --> 00:06:07,625
outsmarting the po-po.
138
00:06:11,302 --> 00:06:12,216
Ugh.
139
00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:13,744
Hoo-wee!
140
00:06:14,402 --> 00:06:16,399
So that's why people make that noise.
141
00:06:17,045 --> 00:06:19,335
Can you believe is was distilled
142
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:22,395
in the same bathtub I was born in?
143
00:06:27,110 --> 00:06:29,593
Okay, next question.
"Two vehicles arrive
144
00:06:29,611 --> 00:06:31,595
"at a four-way stop at the same time.
145
00:06:31,688 --> 00:06:32,854
Who has the right of way?"
146
00:06:32,873 --> 00:06:35,295
Obviously, the most expensive car.
147
00:06:35,296 --> 00:06:37,115
This is still America.
148
00:06:37,985 --> 00:06:40,227
The correct answer is
the car to your right.
149
00:06:40,228 --> 00:06:42,769
Unless you're in Detroit.
Don't ever stop in Detroit.
150
00:06:42,923 --> 00:06:44,194
Here's an easy one.
151
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:48,622
"At what blood alcohol
concentration are you impaired?"
152
00:06:48,997 --> 00:06:50,329
Me personally?
153
00:06:50,482 --> 00:06:52,665
When I start telling people I love them.
154
00:06:53,652 --> 00:06:56,486
I've never seen you that drunk.
Look, if you're not gonna
155
00:06:56,579 --> 00:06:58,504
take this seriously, there's
no way you're gonna pass.
156
00:06:58,598 --> 00:07:02,100
Oh, who cares? So I'm driving
on an expired license.
157
00:07:02,177 --> 00:07:04,160
What are they gonna do,
throw me in jail?
158
00:07:04,162 --> 00:07:06,095
That's exactly what they're gonna do!
159
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:09,832
And you know what they have in jail?
Florescent lighting.
160
00:07:09,926 --> 00:07:11,292
You don't scare me.
161
00:07:11,294 --> 00:07:13,186
I drove here today and nothing happened.
162
00:07:13,211 --> 00:07:15,027
- What?!
- That's right.
163
00:07:15,052 --> 00:07:17,703
And I solved the Wordle
at the same time.
164
00:07:18,698 --> 00:07:21,453
You can't drive with an expired license.
165
00:07:21,478 --> 00:07:23,544
Watch me, four-eyes.
166
00:07:26,518 --> 00:07:29,813
Give. me. your. keys.
167
00:07:29,838 --> 00:07:33,713
If you want my keys,
you'll have to take them.
168
00:07:33,738 --> 00:07:37,020
Dang, that made my neck tingle.
169
00:07:37,838 --> 00:07:39,933
Yeah, she'll do fine in jail.
170
00:07:40,632 --> 00:07:42,626
I'm serious. Give me your purse.
171
00:07:42,976 --> 00:07:45,431
- Let go.
- You let go.
172
00:07:45,456 --> 00:07:47,127
Don't hurt it, it's Gucci!
173
00:07:47,147 --> 00:07:50,277
Why can't you see I am doing this
for your own...
174
00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:52,985
good?
175
00:07:55,063 --> 00:07:57,697
Keys weren't even in my purse.
176
00:08:04,954 --> 00:08:08,827
Dude, in less than two minutes,
your song is gonna be on national TV.
177
00:08:08,852 --> 00:08:11,574
And then two minutes after that,
we're gonna watched a masked celebrity
178
00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:13,337
dressed as a taco
singing "La Vida Loca."
179
00:08:13,338 --> 00:08:16,966
Ooh. Get ready to be
on my Instagram Live, Max!
180
00:08:16,991 --> 00:08:19,563
Come on. You know I don't like
being the center of attention.
181
00:08:19,656 --> 00:08:22,098
Darren, grab me one of those
drinks that you named after me.
182
00:08:22,099 --> 00:08:25,908
Oh, one Max on the Beach
coming right up!
183
00:08:26,245 --> 00:08:27,761
You're practically famous.
184
00:08:27,762 --> 00:08:30,665
It would be like if Carter's
afro ever gets on Is It Cake?
185
00:08:30,834 --> 00:08:32,426
I've sent pictures in four times.
186
00:08:32,775 --> 00:08:34,834
What are they so afraid of?
187
00:08:35,338 --> 00:08:39,266
My cousin Janice was on TV once,
but it was Cops.
188
00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:40,794
She wasn't wearing pants.
189
00:08:40,795 --> 00:08:42,903
We were so proud.
190
00:08:44,681 --> 00:08:46,755
Hey, hey, Instagram.
191
00:08:46,780 --> 00:08:49,248
We are live
with songwriter Max Kingbird.
192
00:08:49,273 --> 00:08:51,162
- What up, Gram?
- We're roomies, too.
193
00:08:51,187 --> 00:08:52,758
He ate my damn yogurt this morning.
194
00:08:52,759 --> 00:08:55,167
Anyway, say something to your fans.
195
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:57,936
Hey, guys.
Uh, this song is about my dad.
196
00:08:58,088 --> 00:08:59,508
It really means a lot to me.
197
00:08:59,509 --> 00:09:02,032
I'm just so honored
that you all are gonna hear it.
198
00:09:02,201 --> 00:09:04,701
And if you're hot, single,
and in Louisville,
199
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,703
we are getting hammered on moonshine
200
00:09:06,854 --> 00:09:08,538
at The Middle C.
201
00:09:08,690 --> 00:09:11,907
He's kidding. We don't want
no Feds up in the holler.
202
00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:14,678
Wait. I think they're going
to a commercial break.
203
00:09:14,768 --> 00:09:16,593
Uh, quiet down, everybody.
204
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,761
Can everybody please quiet down?
205
00:09:18,762 --> 00:09:21,392
Hey, shut the hell up!
206
00:09:22,336 --> 00:09:24,566
Oh, uh, I think they heard you
207
00:09:24,567 --> 00:09:27,648
'cause they were already
quieting from when I... said it.
208
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,211
Oh, boy.
209
00:09:38,997 --> 00:09:40,243
I'm back.
210
00:09:40,612 --> 00:09:43,603
I love it when people come back.
211
00:09:49,397 --> 00:09:51,808
♪ I come home and I wonder ♪
212
00:09:51,809 --> 00:09:55,439
♪ What was the journey for... ♪
213
00:10:02,986 --> 00:10:05,095
What the hell did they do to your song?
214
00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:09,284
It's a disaster. The labradoodle's flat.
215
00:10:12,086 --> 00:10:15,013
Neumann's Hill Farm Fresh Dog Food...
216
00:10:15,038 --> 00:10:18,509
Organic, healthy, delicious.
217
00:10:25,946 --> 00:10:28,178
How great was that?
218
00:10:30,015 --> 00:10:33,183
I-I think my aunt uses that dog food.
219
00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,870
That's the end of my story.
220
00:10:36,875 --> 00:10:38,876
Look, it's broadcast TV.
221
00:10:38,877 --> 00:10:40,891
No one our age is watching.
222
00:10:41,297 --> 00:10:43,882
Except for all of y'all. You're cool.
223
00:10:50,832 --> 00:10:53,478
Sorry. My thumb already had it going.
224
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,568
Hey, I got champagne
if you want to celebrate
225
00:11:02,569 --> 00:11:05,663
and tequila if you want
to get white-girl wasted.
226
00:11:07,806 --> 00:11:10,051
Okay, champagne with tequila.
227
00:11:10,186 --> 00:11:12,482
That's called "The Oldest Bridesmaid."
228
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:15,383
I wrote that song about wanting
229
00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:18,284
to connect with my father
before he dies.
230
00:11:19,396 --> 00:11:21,659
Nobody's gonna take me seriously now.
231
00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:23,304
That is not true.
232
00:11:23,305 --> 00:11:26,024
Eddie Vedder got his start
writing the jingle for Chili's.
233
00:11:26,025 --> 00:11:28,798
- Really?
- Don't google it, but yeah.
234
00:11:29,641 --> 00:11:32,432
Look, I know that did not
turn out the way you expected,
235
00:11:32,433 --> 00:11:34,162
but it's still a huge deal, Max.
236
00:11:34,163 --> 00:11:37,384
Look, I get what you're trying
to do, but I'm not in the mood.
237
00:11:37,385 --> 00:11:38,644
Max, it's not like
it's the end of your...
238
00:11:38,645 --> 00:11:40,085
Kat, stop.
239
00:11:40,110 --> 00:11:41,677
I want to be alone.
240
00:11:43,044 --> 00:11:45,190
Right. Sorry.
241
00:11:47,478 --> 00:11:49,275
Are you Max Kingbird?
242
00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:50,942
We saw you on Instagram Live.
243
00:11:50,967 --> 00:11:52,999
Oh, sorry, ladies.
He's not really in the mood.
244
00:11:53,024 --> 00:11:54,100
Hang on.
245
00:11:54,429 --> 00:11:58,183
Have you ladies ever heard of a
drink called "The Oldest Bridesmaid"?
246
00:11:58,265 --> 00:12:00,368
Here. Right this way. Right this way.
247
00:12:00,369 --> 00:12:02,380
- Max.
- What?
248
00:12:02,853 --> 00:12:04,862
Misery loves...
249
00:12:05,230 --> 00:12:07,384
A threesome.
250
00:12:09,790 --> 00:12:12,752
Okay, it's your driver's test,
and I'm the DMV person.
251
00:12:12,782 --> 00:12:15,299
Why don't we start by pulling
into that Fuddruckers?
252
00:12:15,452 --> 00:12:16,784
Okay.
253
00:12:16,878 --> 00:12:18,263
No! It's a trick.
254
00:12:18,288 --> 00:12:20,397
You don't go to Fuddruckers
on your driver's test!
255
00:12:20,422 --> 00:12:22,966
You get to go after if you pass.
256
00:12:23,239 --> 00:12:26,266
Or fail. Either way,
we're going to Fuddruckers.
257
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:27,780
Oh, red light.
258
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:30,076
Yes, I can see that. Thank you.
259
00:12:31,288 --> 00:12:33,240
Really? Lipstick right now?
260
00:12:33,265 --> 00:12:34,279
It's for you.
261
00:12:34,304 --> 00:12:36,912
It'll draw the eye away
from those glasses.
262
00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:38,990
Yeah, well, say what you will,
263
00:12:39,084 --> 00:12:40,658
but that motorcycle cop called me.
264
00:12:40,752 --> 00:12:42,290
She wants to have drinks Friday night.
265
00:12:43,105 --> 00:12:45,336
- Green light.
- I know.
266
00:12:45,337 --> 00:12:47,458
I just like to be a careful
and courteous...
267
00:12:47,483 --> 00:12:50,014
Oh, bite me, asshat!
268
00:12:50,996 --> 00:12:53,172
Yeah, you're gonna sail
through this driving test.
269
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:56,350
I don't know why you enjoy
criticizing me so much.
270
00:12:56,351 --> 00:12:57,934
Are you kidding me right now?
271
00:12:58,085 --> 00:12:59,994
You do nothing but criticize me.
272
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:02,353
Oh, so now I'm a bad driver
and a bad mother?
273
00:13:02,354 --> 00:13:04,829
I never said you were a bad driver.
274
00:13:05,504 --> 00:13:09,172
It doesn't matter how I drive.
I'm going to fail anyway.
275
00:13:09,474 --> 00:13:10,883
Why do you say that?
276
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,060
I'm going blind.
277
00:13:15,678 --> 00:13:16,992
What?
278
00:13:18,586 --> 00:13:20,371
I found out while you were on your trip.
279
00:13:21,460 --> 00:13:24,047
I don't understand. How could you...?
280
00:13:24,048 --> 00:13:26,314
Oh, bite me, asshat!
281
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:35,081
I have macular degeneration.
282
00:13:36,239 --> 00:13:40,201
A fancy way of saying that,
over the next five to ten years,
283
00:13:40,242 --> 00:13:42,143
I'm going to lose my sight.
284
00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:45,039
There's got to be something they can do.
285
00:13:45,064 --> 00:13:45,899
Well, there isn't.
286
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:49,159
I'm taking medication,
but it'll only slow it down.
287
00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:53,105
And that's why you never went
to get your license renewed.
288
00:13:53,130 --> 00:13:55,282
I knew I couldn't pass the eye exam.
289
00:13:55,783 --> 00:13:57,333
I'm so sorry.
290
00:13:57,777 --> 00:14:02,129
I always thought, if I didn't
act old, I wouldn't get old.
291
00:14:04,526 --> 00:14:08,920
I don't know what kind of life
I'm going to have if I can't drive.
292
00:14:09,839 --> 00:14:11,802
We'll figure something out.
293
00:14:11,803 --> 00:14:13,262
I did figure it out.
294
00:14:13,263 --> 00:14:16,614
I was going to continue to
drive illegally, and you ruined it.
295
00:14:16,615 --> 00:14:19,812
- Mother...
- Look, Katharine, it is what it is,
296
00:14:19,813 --> 00:14:22,106
and wallowing isn't going to help.
297
00:14:24,403 --> 00:14:27,402
Find me the nearest bar.
298
00:14:29,627 --> 00:14:32,403
Wait. You can't drive if you can't see.
299
00:14:32,428 --> 00:14:35,238
And you can't get a man
if you wear those ski goggles,
300
00:14:35,239 --> 00:14:36,871
but here we are.
301
00:14:49,019 --> 00:14:50,352
- Hey, baby.
- Hey.
302
00:14:50,504 --> 00:14:53,021
You think I could have a career
as a hand model?
303
00:14:53,907 --> 00:14:55,932
I think I'm rewatching Bridgerton,
304
00:14:55,984 --> 00:14:57,573
and the duke is about
to take off his shirt.
305
00:14:57,574 --> 00:15:00,298
Well, I was picking up dinner,
and I was reaching for the lasagna,
306
00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:02,984
and the lady said,
"You have lovely hands."
307
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:05,959
- She just wanted a bigger tip.
- That don't make her a liar.
308
00:15:06,111 --> 00:15:07,895
Should we get mani-pedis this weekend?
309
00:15:07,896 --> 00:15:10,124
Can I just watch my lady porn?
310
00:15:12,802 --> 00:15:14,212
What's up, Darren?
311
00:15:14,470 --> 00:15:17,427
Make it quick. I'm about
to Bridgerton and chill.
312
00:15:17,428 --> 00:15:19,198
No, he isn't.
313
00:15:20,368 --> 00:15:22,058
You might want to come down here.
314
00:15:23,910 --> 00:15:25,727
♪ Woof, woof ♪
315
00:15:25,752 --> 00:15:27,734
♪ Woof, woof, woof. ♪
316
00:15:32,713 --> 00:15:34,505
Come on, everybody.
317
00:15:34,530 --> 00:15:37,637
Put your paws together!
318
00:15:38,969 --> 00:15:40,407
Crap.
319
00:15:49,505 --> 00:15:52,615
I must really be drunk.
I can't even taste the whiskey in this.
320
00:15:52,842 --> 00:15:54,099
It's coffee.
321
00:15:54,248 --> 00:15:57,750
Yeah, I'm not doing caffeine these days.
It's bad for your health.
322
00:15:58,978 --> 00:16:00,694
What the hell is wrong with you?
323
00:16:00,719 --> 00:16:04,147
You come down here, get drunk,
bark at my customers.
324
00:16:04,386 --> 00:16:07,513
I ought to swat you on the nose
with a rolled-up newspaper.
325
00:16:08,132 --> 00:16:09,934
Have you seen TikTok lately?
326
00:16:09,935 --> 00:16:11,983
You talking about
the bikini jump-rope challenge?
327
00:16:12,136 --> 00:16:13,854
It's okay to look
328
00:16:13,879 --> 00:16:17,491
'cause they're raising money
for juvenile diabetes.
329
00:16:19,351 --> 00:16:22,955
Thousands of people
posted videos singing my song
330
00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:24,829
with their dogs.
331
00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:28,313
I'm an Internet joke.
332
00:16:28,986 --> 00:16:31,482
I wrote the new
"Never Gonna Give You Up."
333
00:16:31,483 --> 00:16:35,093
Oh, you must be drunk if you're
hating on my boy Rick Astley.
334
00:16:36,347 --> 00:16:39,344
I thought
it was gonna go away, but now...
335
00:16:39,585 --> 00:16:42,606
It's gonna dog you forever?
336
00:16:42,803 --> 00:16:46,016
Damn. How come I'm always clever
when Randi's not around?
337
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:49,678
That song came from my heart.
338
00:16:50,641 --> 00:16:52,262
I'm an artist.
339
00:16:52,263 --> 00:16:55,141
Oh, you're an artist now.
340
00:16:55,142 --> 00:16:57,881
I thought you were a guy
who just threw up in my piano.
341
00:16:58,506 --> 00:17:00,654
- You don't get it.
- I don't get it?
342
00:17:00,844 --> 00:17:03,938
You wrote that song so people
would hear it and enjoy it.
343
00:17:03,963 --> 00:17:06,004
And now, all those people do.
344
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,356
I don't know, man.
345
00:17:08,732 --> 00:17:10,462
Sounds like a win to me.
346
00:17:10,888 --> 00:17:13,573
And that's not just me
throwing you a bone.
347
00:17:14,465 --> 00:17:16,613
I don't like clever Carter.
348
00:17:16,614 --> 00:17:18,642
And I don't like having
to drive down here
349
00:17:18,719 --> 00:17:20,042
and leave behind lasagna
350
00:17:20,043 --> 00:17:22,721
and a girlfriend who's all
revved up from Bridgerton.
351
00:17:22,873 --> 00:17:24,677
Bridgerton, man!
352
00:17:25,175 --> 00:17:27,015
I just don't want to be known as the guy
353
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,000
who did the stupid dog food song.
354
00:17:29,001 --> 00:17:31,725
Better than being the guy
who never did anything.
355
00:17:35,450 --> 00:17:36,994
Can you take me home?
356
00:17:37,345 --> 00:17:39,697
Sure. Hey, if we hurry,
357
00:17:39,698 --> 00:17:41,848
I'll still have time
to hit Randi with a little,
358
00:17:41,849 --> 00:17:45,243
"Evenin' Duchess.
You fancy me bangers and mash?"
359
00:17:45,730 --> 00:17:48,380
I really don't know
why Randi has sex with you.
360
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:51,349
Hey, you think I could be a hand model?
361
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:52,140
What?
362
00:17:52,141 --> 00:17:56,419
Just imagine a slo-mo shot
of me putting on lotion.
363
00:17:59,811 --> 00:18:00,977
Hello?
364
00:18:01,002 --> 00:18:02,502
Oh, Katharine?
365
00:18:02,770 --> 00:18:03,918
Hey.
366
00:18:04,478 --> 00:18:06,081
What are you doing here?
367
00:18:06,729 --> 00:18:08,768
Wait. How much do you need?
368
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:13,170
I don't need money.
I've got a mother who loves me.
369
00:18:15,618 --> 00:18:18,027
There's your father's sense of whimsy.
370
00:18:18,477 --> 00:18:20,737
I came to take you to yoga.
371
00:18:21,052 --> 00:18:24,233
Oh. Well, since I can't drive,
372
00:18:24,258 --> 00:18:27,026
I... I hadn't planned on
going anyplace for a while.
373
00:18:27,046 --> 00:18:28,620
That's why I'm here.
374
00:18:28,772 --> 00:18:32,698
I took the day off so I can take
you to yoga and the hair salon.
375
00:18:32,723 --> 00:18:35,392
I'm pretty sure I'm still owed
a trip to Fuddruckers.
376
00:18:36,113 --> 00:18:37,796
I can't ask you to do that.
377
00:18:38,010 --> 00:18:39,705
You don't have to ask.
378
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:41,326
I want to.
379
00:18:41,709 --> 00:18:42,951
Really?
380
00:18:42,969 --> 00:18:45,211
Of course. You're my mother.
381
00:18:45,230 --> 00:18:47,604
I'm not gonna let you
go through this alone.
382
00:18:51,696 --> 00:18:53,097
Why are you squeezing me?
383
00:18:53,098 --> 00:18:54,990
Oh. It's a hug.
384
00:18:55,471 --> 00:18:57,779
Cross that off my bucket list.
385
00:19:00,137 --> 00:19:02,032
I love you, sweetheart.
386
00:19:03,198 --> 00:19:04,676
I love you, too.
387
00:19:05,588 --> 00:19:08,488
As long as we're going to
my salon, won't you let Francois
388
00:19:08,513 --> 00:19:10,098
- finally...?
- Okay, don't push it.
389
00:19:10,099 --> 00:19:13,311
Sorry if I wanted you to look
nice for your new lady friend.
390
00:19:18,917 --> 00:19:20,551
Hey, Internet. I'm Max Kingbird.
391
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:23,324
I wrote the song that inspired
all the singing dog videos,
392
00:19:23,349 --> 00:19:27,534
uh, trending number two right below
"hashtag double-D double Dutch."
393
00:19:28,421 --> 00:19:31,359
Anyway, I thought maybe
you'd like to hear my version.
394
00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:36,084
♪ Touchdown in Baton Rouge ♪
395
00:19:36,921 --> 00:19:39,018
♪ 20 years gone... ♪
396
00:19:39,043 --> 00:19:40,065
Take it partner.
397
00:19:40,090 --> 00:19:43,741
♪ Tough old man I hardly know says ♪
398
00:19:43,761 --> 00:19:46,577
♪ "Welcome home, son" ♪
399
00:19:46,597 --> 00:19:50,245
♪ The years were written on his face ♪
400
00:19:50,285 --> 00:19:53,917
♪ They gave way to a smile ♪
401
00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:57,917
♪ He shook my handand poured a glass, and said ♪
402
00:19:57,942 --> 00:19:59,901
♪ "Won't you stay a while?" ♪
403
00:20:00,818 --> 00:20:02,310
♪ Said... ♪ Oh.
404
00:20:02,311 --> 00:20:03,933
Oh.
405
00:20:03,934 --> 00:20:05,239
Hey. Hey.
406
00:20:10,913 --> 00:20:15,579
♪ Touchdown in Baton Rouge,20 years gone ♪
407
00:20:15,909 --> 00:20:19,069
♪ A tough old man I hardly know said ♪
408
00:20:19,070 --> 00:20:20,796
♪ "Welcome home, son" ♪
409
00:20:20,797 --> 00:20:25,840
♪ I come home and I wonder,what was the journey for ♪
410
00:20:26,482 --> 00:20:28,816
♪ My old man sips his whiskey ♪
411
00:20:28,841 --> 00:20:31,508
♪ "It's all right, son. Say no more" ♪
412
00:20:31,533 --> 00:20:33,550
♪ My old man sips his whiskey ♪
413
00:20:33,627 --> 00:20:38,254
♪ "It's all right, son. Say no more." ♪
414
00:20:43,090 --> 00:20:47,090
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
31538
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
