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♪ Here's the story ♪
2
00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:15,414
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
3
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:16,643
♪ Who was bringing up ♪
4
00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:19,134
♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
5
00:00:19,170 --> 00:00:21,636
♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
6
00:00:21,672 --> 00:00:23,705
♪ Like their mother ♪
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00:00:23,740 --> 00:00:26,842
♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
8
00:00:26,877 --> 00:00:30,562
♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
9
00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:34,249
♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
10
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:37,986
♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
11
00:00:38,021 --> 00:00:40,889
♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
12
00:00:40,924 --> 00:00:42,407
♪ Till the one day when ♪
13
00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:44,876
♪ The lady met this fellow ♪
14
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,511
♪ And they knew that it was ♪
15
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,830
♪ Much more than a hunch ♪
16
00:00:48,866 --> 00:00:50,365
♪ That this group must ♪
17
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,467
♪ Somehow form a family ♪
18
00:00:52,502 --> 00:00:53,869
♪ That's the way we all ♪
19
00:00:53,904 --> 00:00:55,921
♪ Became the Brady Bunch ♪
20
00:00:55,956 --> 00:01:00,258
♪ The Brady Bunch,
the Brady Bunch ♪
21
00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:05,514
♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪
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00:01:33,744 --> 00:01:35,210
Hi, sweetheart.
23
00:01:35,245 --> 00:01:36,611
You're home late today.
24
00:01:36,647 --> 00:01:38,764
Hi, Alice.
25
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:39,799
Alice?
26
00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:41,633
All day long I thought
27
00:01:41,669 --> 00:01:44,135
I was Carol Brady, your mother.
28
00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,249
What a lovely day this is.
29
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,473
Seemed kind of cloudy to me.
30
00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:50,842
It's the loveliest day ever.
31
00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:52,977
The daffodils are singing.
32
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:54,979
The birds are blooming.
33
00:02:03,006 --> 00:02:06,274
Daffodils are singing
and birds are blooming?
34
00:02:06,309 --> 00:02:07,475
What's with her?
35
00:02:07,510 --> 00:02:10,289
Well, my woman's
intuition tells me...
36
00:02:10,313 --> 00:02:11,446
Yes?
37
00:02:11,481 --> 00:02:13,727
That our little girl
has a slight case
38
00:02:13,751 --> 00:02:14,794
of puppy love.
39
00:02:14,818 --> 00:02:16,284
( chuckles): Slight case?
40
00:02:16,319 --> 00:02:19,087
I'd say, from that dazed
expression on her face,
41
00:02:19,123 --> 00:02:20,355
she had an epidemic.
42
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,190
You're sure that's what it is?
43
00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:23,587
Yeah. I know the look.
44
00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:24,876
She's only 13.
45
00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:27,023
Well, that's the age...
46
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:29,831
That uncertain year between
childhood and adolescence.
47
00:02:29,866 --> 00:02:31,833
Well, anything
we can do to help?
48
00:02:31,869 --> 00:02:33,713
There certainly is, Mr. Brady.
49
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:34,936
What?
50
00:02:34,971 --> 00:02:37,491
Prepare ourselves for
the agonies to come.
51
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:53,238
Alice, have you
talked to Marcia?
52
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:54,572
No. Why?
53
00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:56,191
She's real weird.
54
00:02:56,226 --> 00:02:59,311
I asked her if I could
borrow a scarf, and she said,
55
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:03,214
"The air is full of music,
and the birds smell like wine."
56
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:06,267
"The birds smell like wine"?
57
00:03:06,302 --> 00:03:08,036
That's what she said, honest.
58
00:03:08,072 --> 00:03:10,605
Well, maybe a hummingbird got
into somebody's cooking sherry.
59
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:13,158
That would give them
something to hum about.
60
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:17,061
Jan, what's the
matter with Marcia?
61
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,664
Did she say something
goofy to you, too?
62
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,845
Uh-uh. She's just sitting there
63
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,112
staring at the wall
64
00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:25,214
with a dumb look on her face.
65
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,421
See?
66
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,439
Maybe she's coming
down with the flu.
67
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:29,824
I'd better check on her.
68
00:03:33,563 --> 00:03:35,513
Marcia, honey, do you feel okay?
69
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:40,051
When your heart has
wings, who can feel?
70
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,564
Now do you believe us?
71
00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:55,250
Well, I was close, but
I got the wrong bug...
72
00:03:55,285 --> 00:03:57,935
Make that the love
bug, not the flu bug.
73
00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:00,489
Mom, Marcia's been
locked in that bathroom
74
00:04:00,524 --> 00:04:02,123
for an hour.
75
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,859
We need one more
bathroom or one less sister.
76
00:04:04,895 --> 00:04:06,110
Yeah. One less sister.
77
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,929
Oh, be patient with her, boys.
78
00:04:07,965 --> 00:04:10,966
You know she's in the
throes of her first romance.
79
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:14,352
You mean she's in love? Yech!
80
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:16,298
Bobby, love isn't all "yech."
81
00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:18,790
Well, who's the
unfortunate fellow?
82
00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:21,510
I think his name
is... Harvey Klinger?
83
00:04:21,545 --> 00:04:23,061
Harvey Klinger?
84
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,563
Harvey Klinger?
85
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,147
Harvey Klinger?
86
00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:28,350
Who's Harvey Klinger?
87
00:04:28,385 --> 00:04:31,269
What's wrong with
Harvey Klinger?
88
00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:33,483
Everything's wrong
with Harvey Klinger.
89
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,218
He's an all-time, all-American
90
00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:36,174
grade-A creep.
91
00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:38,009
Besides being a jerk, a goof
92
00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:39,528
and a double dingbat.
93
00:04:39,563 --> 00:04:40,712
Greg, don't you think
94
00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:42,847
that's being just
a little bit strong?
95
00:04:42,882 --> 00:04:46,067
Mom, those are his good points.
96
00:04:46,102 --> 00:04:48,152
Hey, you'll never
guess what happened.
97
00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:50,221
She's out of the bathroom.
98
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,839
It's about time.
99
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,641
Now she's on the phone.
100
00:04:53,677 --> 00:04:56,155
Talking to harebrained
Harvey, no doubt.
101
00:04:56,179 --> 00:04:59,047
Nope, she's talking
to her girlfriend, Sally,
102
00:04:59,082 --> 00:05:00,481
who sits next to Harvey.
103
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:03,468
And it sure sounds icky.
104
00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:06,737
Dinner's ready, kids.
105
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:12,193
Alice, would you
please call the others?
106
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,707
Hey, dinner ready, Alice?
107
00:05:13,731 --> 00:05:15,147
Just coming to
get you, Mr. Brady.
108
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:18,100
She's still staring at the wall.
109
00:05:18,135 --> 00:05:19,195
Cindy, must we have
110
00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:20,863
these ten-minute announcements?
111
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:22,532
I'd better go and get Juliet.
112
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:23,788
I'll do that.
113
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,158
You'd better eat my
pot roast while it's hot.
114
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:29,327
When it cools off, it loses
something in the translation.
115
00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:30,395
Come on.
116
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:38,837
Soup's on, honey.
117
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:40,872
Everybody's waiting for you.
118
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:43,085
Everyone except Harvey Klinger.
119
00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:44,609
Hmm?
120
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:48,980
He doesn't know
I'm alive, Alice.
121
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:51,833
Oh, now, what
makes you say that?
122
00:05:51,868 --> 00:05:53,535
I didn't. He did.
123
00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:56,138
Told my girlfriend, Sally.
124
00:05:56,173 --> 00:05:58,240
Maybe she misunderstood him.
125
00:05:58,275 --> 00:05:59,385
No, Alice.
126
00:05:59,409 --> 00:06:02,093
Have you ever been in love?
127
00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:05,080
I mean, really, truly in love?
128
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,197
Sure.
129
00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:07,766
And it can hurt...
130
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:11,536
until the next time
you're really, truly in love.
131
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:14,438
I'll never find the
right man again.
132
00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:15,373
Sure, you will.
133
00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:17,709
The problem is to
find the right man
134
00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:20,011
that thinks you're
the right woman.
135
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,929
What's the difference?
136
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:25,533
If Harvey Klinger
doesn't know I exist...
137
00:06:25,569 --> 00:06:27,001
I wish I didn't.
138
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,842
Marcia hasn't got
the sign of a cough,
139
00:06:33,877 --> 00:06:36,177
and she isn't lying on a chaise
140
00:06:36,212 --> 00:06:37,512
holding a faded lily,
141
00:06:37,548 --> 00:06:41,550
but you have definitely
got a Camille on your hands.
142
00:06:41,585 --> 00:06:42,818
( sighing forlornly)
143
00:06:42,853 --> 00:06:45,698
Well, I suppose it hurts
the same at any age.
144
00:06:45,722 --> 00:06:48,200
There must be some
way we can help her.
145
00:06:48,224 --> 00:06:49,491
Yeah, there is.
146
00:06:49,526 --> 00:06:50,637
How?
147
00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,861
Well, by not butting in.
148
00:06:52,896 --> 00:06:54,996
Honey, look, she's
going to get over it.
149
00:06:55,032 --> 00:06:57,915
Puppy love isn't lasting,
and it certainly isn't fatal.
150
00:06:57,950 --> 00:06:59,033
No, but, for a while,
151
00:06:59,069 --> 00:07:00,936
it can sure make
you wish it was.
152
00:07:00,971 --> 00:07:02,370
You're absolutely right.
153
00:07:02,405 --> 00:07:04,300
I say we should try to help her.
154
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:06,475
Yeah, and I say, "Butt out."
155
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:07,670
Well, Mike, you yourself said,
156
00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:09,522
"Is there anything we can
do to help?" Remember?
157
00:07:09,546 --> 00:07:10,845
I know, but that's not...
158
00:07:10,881 --> 00:07:12,158
Well, then, it's settled.
159
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:13,359
We help.
160
00:07:13,383 --> 00:07:15,550
Now, the problem
is that Harvey Klinger
161
00:07:15,585 --> 00:07:17,118
doesn't even notice Marcia.
162
00:07:17,153 --> 00:07:18,431
Well, then, let's think
163
00:07:18,455 --> 00:07:20,065
of a way to see that he does.
164
00:07:20,089 --> 00:07:21,589
Yeah, let's think of a way.
165
00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:30,982
( chuckling) Oh, no.
166
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,633
You think of a way.
167
00:07:36,906 --> 00:07:39,757
All right, but I'm going
to do it under protest.
168
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:40,836
Okay. Now, Mike,
169
00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:42,438
when you were Harvey's age,
170
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,206
what attracted you to girls?
171
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:45,947
( snickers)
172
00:07:45,982 --> 00:07:49,634
Well, um... having
something in common
173
00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:52,036
like... a hobby.
174
00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:54,055
Well, that sounds
like a good idea.
175
00:07:54,090 --> 00:07:55,268
What was your hobby?
176
00:07:55,292 --> 00:07:56,424
Girls!
177
00:07:56,459 --> 00:07:57,592
( laughing)
178
00:07:57,627 --> 00:08:01,329
I wonder what Harvey
Klinger's hobby is.
179
00:08:01,364 --> 00:08:03,482
CAROL: This one? Don't peek.
180
00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:04,850
( Marcia laughs)
181
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,851
A banded wooly bear moth.
182
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:07,919
Right.
183
00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:09,954
And, uh, ugh, this one.
184
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,430
Yuck... a purple tiger beetle.
185
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:14,192
That one looks icky.
186
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:15,743
Mmm. I'm with you.
187
00:08:15,778 --> 00:08:17,807
Are you sure you want
to go through with this?
188
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,731
You asked me what Harvey likes,
189
00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:22,033
and that's what
Havey likes: bugs.
190
00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:24,018
Bugs.
191
00:08:24,054 --> 00:08:26,054
Okay.
192
00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:27,055
Onward.
193
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,223
This one.
194
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,658
A 17-year... clicida?
195
00:08:30,693 --> 00:08:33,711
No, not clicida... cicada.
196
00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:34,746
Cicada.
197
00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:35,613
Right.
198
00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:36,714
And this one.
199
00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:37,760
That's a watch.
200
00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:38,816
Right again.
201
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:40,851
And time for you to go to bed.
202
00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:44,155
You don't know how much
I appreciate this, Mom.
203
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,256
Oh, that's okay.
204
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:47,192
That's what mothers are for.
205
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:49,561
Hey, how's
everything in Bug City?
206
00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:50,695
It's heaven, Dad.
207
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:51,829
Simply heaven.
208
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,311
I take it everything
went well, huh?
209
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:56,967
Oh, and very educational, too.
210
00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:58,703
Well, do you know the difference
211
00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:00,438
between a male peach tree borer
212
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,139
and a female peach tree borer?
213
00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:03,952
No. I haven't
the slightest idea.
214
00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:05,042
Lucky for you
215
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:06,644
you're not a peach tree borer.
216
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,746
Hey, thanks for the
hobby idea anyway.
217
00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:10,693
Yeah, well, I did
it under protest,
218
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,995
and I still don't think
we should meddle.
219
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,452
Oh.
220
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:15,531
What's that?
221
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,821
Oh, that's Greg.
222
00:09:16,856 --> 00:09:18,690
Helping Marcia's cause.
223
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,825
What's he doing out there?
224
00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:22,159
Collecting bugs.
225
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:23,422
MIKE: Collecting bugs?
226
00:09:23,446 --> 00:09:24,874
CAROL: Mm-hmm.
227
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:28,082
How did you get him to
agree to do a thing like that?
228
00:09:28,118 --> 00:09:31,119
Well, I just explained
to him Marcia's problem,
229
00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,298
and the fact that,
230
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,100
you know, she is his sister,
231
00:09:34,124 --> 00:09:36,624
and that it is his
duty to help her...
232
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,259
How much you pay him?
233
00:09:38,295 --> 00:09:40,561
Only ten cents a bug.
234
00:10:11,594 --> 00:10:13,678
Is anybody sitting here?
235
00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:14,790
Hmm?
236
00:10:14,814 --> 00:10:16,814
May I sit here?
237
00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:17,899
Mmm.
238
00:10:22,506 --> 00:10:23,838
Nice day, isn't it?
239
00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:26,173
Mmm.
240
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:29,677
Well, of all things...
A lateral femarata!
241
00:10:29,713 --> 00:10:31,713
Where? Where?
242
00:10:31,748 --> 00:10:33,614
Right there.
243
00:10:38,522 --> 00:10:41,906
It's an absolute
perfect specimen.
244
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:44,108
You can have it if you like.
245
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,676
I already have one.
246
00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:46,822
Gee, thanks.
247
00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:49,030
My name's Harvey Klinger.
248
00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:50,698
I'm Marcia Brady.
249
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,150
You're the first girl I ever met
250
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:53,484
who knew anything about bugs.
251
00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:54,585
I collect them.
252
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:56,387
You do?
253
00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:58,450
Say, aren't we in the
same English class?
254
00:10:58,474 --> 00:10:59,707
I don't know.
255
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,075
I sit in front.
256
00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:02,794
What's that you're reading?
257
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,807
The Wonderful World of Insects,
258
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,542
by Professor G.T. Hardgrove.
259
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:10,218
That's my favorite
book in the whole world.
260
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:11,803
( bell ringing)
261
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,204
Fourth period bell.
262
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:14,438
Yeah.
263
00:11:15,992 --> 00:11:17,408
Can I walk you to class?
264
00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:18,809
Okay.
265
00:11:26,870 --> 00:11:29,437
Mom! Mom!
266
00:11:29,472 --> 00:11:32,373
You'll never, never,
never, never, never guess
267
00:11:32,409 --> 00:11:33,708
what happened to me.
268
00:11:33,743 --> 00:11:35,254
Well, I'll take a
stab in the dark.
269
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:36,310
What happened?
270
00:11:36,345 --> 00:11:38,345
Harvey Klinger walked me home.
271
00:11:38,381 --> 00:11:40,982
No. Oh, Marcia,
that's wonderful.
272
00:11:41,017 --> 00:11:42,228
The bugs worked!
273
00:11:42,252 --> 00:11:43,284
And that's not all.
274
00:11:43,319 --> 00:11:44,964
He asked me to
go steady with him.
275
00:11:44,988 --> 00:11:47,438
I said yes, if you say yes.
276
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:49,840
Can I, Mom, please?
277
00:11:53,396 --> 00:11:57,031
Well, um...
278
00:11:57,067 --> 00:11:59,066
I'll speak to your
father about it.
279
00:11:59,102 --> 00:12:01,002
Oh, musca domestica, I love you.
280
00:12:01,037 --> 00:12:02,169
What?
281
00:12:02,204 --> 00:12:04,524
That's the common housefly.
282
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:09,705
Go steady?
283
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:10,761
Go steady.
284
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:14,131
Steady there, Mrs. Brady.
285
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,111
Oh, I wanted Harvey
Klinger to like her,
286
00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:18,047
but going steady
is something else.
287
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,270
I know what you mean.
288
00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:21,172
You expected her
to just go wading,
289
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,508
not dive right in from
the 20-foot board.
290
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,863
Oh, Mr. Brady warned
me not to interfere.
291
00:12:25,895 --> 00:12:27,211
You'll have to tell him.
292
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:29,358
If he hears it from
Marcia, it'll be much worse.
293
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,998
Yeah, that's right.
294
00:12:31,034 --> 00:12:32,884
I wouldn't worry too much.
295
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,518
He's a reasonable man.
296
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:36,788
He is, Alice.
297
00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:39,874
But as a favor, would
you tell him on my day off?
298
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:49,951
Good-bye, Mom.
299
00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:51,152
Good-bye, honey.
300
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,320
Good-bye, Alice.
301
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:53,421
Bye, Mom.
302
00:12:53,457 --> 00:12:54,422
Bye, Alice.
303
00:12:54,458 --> 00:12:55,590
Bye, sugarplum.
304
00:12:55,625 --> 00:12:56,658
Good-bye, Mom.
305
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,170
Bye, Mom. Bye, Alice.
306
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:00,205
You didn't tell me, Mrs. Brady.
307
00:13:00,229 --> 00:13:01,774
Was Mr. Brady very upset
308
00:13:01,798 --> 00:13:03,509
about Marcia going steady?
309
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:04,833
Oh, not at all.
310
00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:07,268
Oh, good.
311
00:13:07,303 --> 00:13:09,537
I, um... didn't tell him yet.
312
00:13:09,573 --> 00:13:10,872
Oh.
313
00:13:10,907 --> 00:13:12,306
Well, he worked late last night
314
00:13:12,342 --> 00:13:13,675
and, by the time he came to bed,
315
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:14,909
I'd already gone to sleep.
316
00:13:14,945 --> 00:13:15,955
I see.
317
00:13:15,979 --> 00:13:18,480
But I'm going to
tell him this morning.
318
00:13:18,515 --> 00:13:20,648
Maybe I'll tell
him after dinner.
319
00:13:20,684 --> 00:13:22,484
I'll fix his favorite dish.
320
00:13:22,519 --> 00:13:23,685
Chicken.
321
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:24,953
Right, chicken.
322
00:13:24,988 --> 00:13:27,399
I didn't mean the
dish. I meant you.
323
00:13:27,423 --> 00:13:29,256
All right, no more stalling.
324
00:13:29,292 --> 00:13:30,658
I'll face the music.
325
00:13:30,694 --> 00:13:32,126
I'll go tell him now.
326
00:13:32,161 --> 00:13:33,628
Want to come with me?
327
00:13:33,663 --> 00:13:34,874
Thanks just the same.
328
00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:36,178
I'm no good at duets.
329
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,399
Mike?
330
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,068
Yeah?
331
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:58,402
Oh, it can wait.
332
00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:00,449
If you're too busy,
I'll come back later.
333
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:02,251
Honey, I'm just getting
dressed for work.
334
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:04,324
I do that from time to time.
335
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:05,426
Yeah.
336
00:14:05,461 --> 00:14:07,061
What's on your mind?
337
00:14:09,799 --> 00:14:11,766
Mike... Mmm?
338
00:14:11,801 --> 00:14:14,302
You're an
open-minded man, right?
339
00:14:14,337 --> 00:14:15,781
( chuckles): Right.
340
00:14:15,805 --> 00:14:18,572
And flexible... Oh, very.
341
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:20,408
I mean, you're
not the type of man
342
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,377
who would ever
say, "I told you so."
343
00:14:22,412 --> 00:14:24,979
Carol, just what are
we talking about here?
344
00:14:25,015 --> 00:14:26,781
Well, that rare gift you have
345
00:14:26,816 --> 00:14:29,317
for being fair,
impartial, unprejudiced.
346
00:14:29,352 --> 00:14:32,020
You left out courteous,
faithful and true.
347
00:14:32,055 --> 00:14:33,187
Yeah, those, too.
348
00:14:33,223 --> 00:14:35,201
What do I get my
merit badge for?
349
00:14:35,225 --> 00:14:36,657
For being understanding
350
00:14:36,692 --> 00:14:39,544
when I tell you that
Marcia wants to go steady
351
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:41,612
with Harvey Klinger.
352
00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:45,182
Would my striped tie
look all right with this?
353
00:14:46,485 --> 00:14:48,502
Did you hear what I said, Mike?
354
00:14:48,538 --> 00:14:51,639
Marcia wants to go
steady with Harvey Klinger.
355
00:14:51,675 --> 00:14:53,074
So what?
356
00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:56,010
Going steady, school
dances, a movie, a soda.
357
00:14:56,046 --> 00:14:57,177
Doesn't mean a thing.
358
00:14:57,213 --> 00:14:58,579
You don't think so?
359
00:14:58,614 --> 00:14:59,892
No. Honey, listen,
360
00:14:59,916 --> 00:15:02,261
going steady
today isn't the same
361
00:15:02,285 --> 00:15:03,684
as when we were 13.
362
00:15:03,719 --> 00:15:06,120
Oh, I'm so glad
you're not upset.
363
00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:09,657
Upset? Fair, impartial,
unprejudiced Mike Brady?
364
00:15:09,692 --> 00:15:11,592
Oh, I absolutely love you!
365
00:15:11,627 --> 00:15:12,726
I really do.
366
00:15:12,762 --> 00:15:13,773
You do, huh?
367
00:15:13,797 --> 00:15:15,329
That's good to hear.
368
00:15:15,364 --> 00:15:18,432
You know, after we're
married a few years,
369
00:15:18,467 --> 00:15:21,027
I may ask you to go steady.
370
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:30,778
This is a very unique
specimen of drosophila.
371
00:15:30,813 --> 00:15:32,680
Really the common fruit fly,
372
00:15:32,715 --> 00:15:35,983
but with the unique
habit of living in vinegar.
373
00:15:38,888 --> 00:15:42,356
Gee, Harvey.
374
00:15:42,391 --> 00:15:43,907
Gosh!
375
00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:51,148
Sickening. Positively sickening.
376
00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:55,052
Hi, Greg.
377
00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:56,053
Hi, Mom.
378
00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:59,256
Are Marcia and Harvey
still in the kitchen?
379
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,025
Are they? Yech!
380
00:16:02,945 --> 00:16:05,024
This hairy one's
called the snout beetle.
381
00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:06,314
It's lovely.
382
00:16:06,349 --> 00:16:09,150
So close to the weevil
family, yet so different.
383
00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:10,151
Hi.
384
00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:12,720
With its offset eyes and
its many-jointed antennas.
385
00:16:12,755 --> 00:16:16,691
Gee, Marcia, you
really know your bugs.
386
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:19,610
What a sweet
thing to say, Harvey.
387
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:27,168
Honest, Mom, that Harvey
is buggier than his bugs.
388
00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:28,413
You said it.
389
00:16:28,437 --> 00:16:32,106
"Do you know the hairy
beetle has offset eyes?"
390
00:16:32,141 --> 00:16:33,540
"Why, naturally.
391
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:36,710
And a drosophila lives
in vinegar, my dear."
392
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,224
"Oh, how thrilling, Harvey."
393
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:39,513
"Gosh, Marcia."
394
00:16:39,548 --> 00:16:41,815
Come on, you two. Scoot.
395
00:16:41,851 --> 00:16:43,751
Offset eyes?
396
00:16:43,786 --> 00:16:45,619
What's so funny?
397
00:16:45,654 --> 00:16:47,321
Private joke.
398
00:16:47,357 --> 00:16:48,689
Okay.
399
00:16:51,127 --> 00:16:52,271
How goes it, kids?
400
00:16:52,295 --> 00:16:53,828
I think that's fascinating.
401
00:16:53,863 --> 00:16:56,330
Carpenter ants really
nest in dead trees?
402
00:16:56,365 --> 00:16:58,044
You'll have to take my word.
403
00:16:58,068 --> 00:17:00,312
I couldn't bring a
dead tree with me.
404
00:17:00,336 --> 00:17:02,737
Well, I'd never doubt
your word, Harvey.
405
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:03,816
This one's a queen.
406
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,267
No wings, you'll notice.
407
00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:06,691
I noticed that.
408
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,776
She pulled them off herself.
409
00:17:08,811 --> 00:17:10,644
Though why? Why?
410
00:17:10,679 --> 00:17:14,915
One of the eternal
mysteries of the insect world.
411
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:18,002
How about a piece
of fruit, Harvey?
412
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,954
Some milk and cookies?
413
00:17:22,224 --> 00:17:24,391
Harvey, how about
a bug sandwich?
414
00:17:24,427 --> 00:17:25,927
You say something, Mr. Brady?
415
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,895
I thought that'd get you.
416
00:17:35,872 --> 00:17:36,971
Hi.
417
00:17:37,006 --> 00:17:39,473
We need another
guy for basketball.
418
00:17:39,508 --> 00:17:40,575
I'm not a guy.
419
00:17:40,610 --> 00:17:41,610
I'm a girl.
420
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:42,710
An older girl.
421
00:17:42,745 --> 00:17:43,811
Since when?
422
00:17:43,847 --> 00:17:45,490
Since I started going steady
423
00:17:45,514 --> 00:17:46,647
with Harvey Klinger.
424
00:17:46,682 --> 00:17:48,602
And I no longer
play kids' games.
425
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:56,991
What are you doing up here?
426
00:17:57,026 --> 00:17:58,893
You're supposed
to be helping us.
427
00:17:58,928 --> 00:18:00,661
Yeah. Dusting the living room.
428
00:18:00,697 --> 00:18:02,662
And sweeping the
kitchen and patio.
429
00:18:02,698 --> 00:18:06,134
Dust makes my eyes red,
which is very unbecoming
430
00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:07,902
to a woman going steady.
431
00:18:07,937 --> 00:18:09,703
Oh, well, then just sweep.
432
00:18:09,739 --> 00:18:12,256
It would ruin my
feminine posture.
433
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:13,874
JAN: You're only 13.
434
00:18:13,909 --> 00:18:16,911
You're not old enough
yet to have a "posture."
435
00:18:16,946 --> 00:18:19,446
What do you need
false eyelashes for?
436
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,783
That one looks like a seesaw.
437
00:18:21,818 --> 00:18:24,868
It makes me feel
womanly, glamorous.
438
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:27,288
That's why women wear perfume
439
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:28,906
and eye shadow and lipstick.
440
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:34,028
Makes you attractive to a
man; beautiful and exotic.
441
00:18:34,063 --> 00:18:35,345
It does?
442
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:40,050
Well, I might as well
be beautiful and exotic.
443
00:18:40,085 --> 00:18:41,365
Me, too.
444
00:18:42,272 --> 00:18:43,320
Lovely, lovely.
445
00:18:43,355 --> 00:18:46,590
Isn't that just
absolutely... lovely.
446
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:48,403
My goodness.
447
00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:51,896
Just what do you
think you're doing?
448
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:53,914
Just girl talk, Mom.
449
00:18:53,950 --> 00:18:55,365
How do I smell?
450
00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:58,435
Like you need a long, hot bath.
451
00:18:58,470 --> 00:18:59,870
And right now.
452
00:19:02,491 --> 00:19:04,008
What about me, Mom?
453
00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:05,375
How do I look?
454
00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:09,079
Oh, Cindy, I know your
mouth is there someplace.
455
00:19:09,114 --> 00:19:10,814
Try some soap and water
456
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:13,450
and see if you
can find it, okay?
457
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,871
I was experimenting
with the eyelashes, Mom.
458
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:19,706
Going steady is one thing,
459
00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:22,376
but wearing false
eyelashes is out.
460
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:23,610
Out?
461
00:19:23,646 --> 00:19:25,963
A lot of girls my
age wear makeup.
462
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,164
Well, I'm sorry.
463
00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:29,433
That's their mothers'
problem, not mine.
464
00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:31,151
Now, off they come.
465
00:19:31,187 --> 00:19:33,988
Ouch!
466
00:19:34,023 --> 00:19:35,338
Like Harvey says...
467
00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:38,676
"Parents just don't
understand our generation."
468
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:41,912
Marcia, I understand
it better than you think.
469
00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:44,915
I've already lived
through your generation.
470
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:48,151
But things have changed
since you were my age.
471
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,654
Only times have
changed, sweetheart.
472
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:51,889
People haven't.
473
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,168
But they have!
474
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,292
You know what Harvey says?
475
00:19:55,327 --> 00:19:59,129
A girl my age is like a
20-year-old used to be,
476
00:19:59,164 --> 00:20:01,498
and a boy of 14 is like 22.
477
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:05,952
A girl of 13 is like 20
and a boy of 14 is like 22?
478
00:20:05,988 --> 00:20:07,571
That's what Harvey said.
479
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:10,074
Oh, I should have
listened to you, Mike,
480
00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:11,352
and not interfered.
481
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:14,211
I don't like the way
this is changing Marcia.
482
00:20:14,246 --> 00:20:16,013
Of course, on the other hand,
483
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,631
maybe Harvey has a point.
484
00:20:17,666 --> 00:20:18,832
What?
485
00:20:18,868 --> 00:20:20,612
We're understanding,
modern parents.
486
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:23,403
We have to be open-minded
and fair about things, right?
487
00:20:23,438 --> 00:20:25,222
What's gotten into you?
488
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:28,008
Well, if Harvey is
22 and Marcia is 20,
489
00:20:28,044 --> 00:20:31,478
then that's the way
they ought to be treated.
490
00:20:32,581 --> 00:20:34,615
If that's what Harvey says.
491
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,302
( doorbell rings)
492
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:51,148
Hi, Mr. Brady.
493
00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:53,550
Hi, Harvey. Good to see you.
494
00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:54,818
Come on in.
495
00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:56,020
Come on in. Sit down.
496
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:57,354
Make yourself at home.
497
00:20:57,389 --> 00:20:59,868
Marcia's running a
little late for her date,
498
00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:01,703
but that's a woman for you, huh?
499
00:21:01,727 --> 00:21:03,627
Yes, sir. That's
a woman for you.
500
00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:05,306
What we men put up with, huh?
501
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:06,396
Yes, sir. We men.
502
00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:07,575
Yeah.
503
00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:09,428
You two doing the
town tonight, huh?
504
00:21:09,452 --> 00:21:12,219
Kind of taking it easy
tonight... Just a soda.
505
00:21:12,255 --> 00:21:14,588
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
506
00:21:14,623 --> 00:21:16,656
You know, Harvey,
507
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:19,593
I wasn't too sure about
you and Marcia going steady
508
00:21:19,628 --> 00:21:21,161
at first
509
00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:24,865
but, as you say, she's like
a woman of 20 used to be,
510
00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:26,784
and you're like a man of 22.
511
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:28,168
That's right, sir.
512
00:21:28,203 --> 00:21:30,904
Then I think that's how
you ought to be treated.
513
00:21:30,940 --> 00:21:32,139
You're not a kid now.
514
00:21:32,174 --> 00:21:34,086
You're practically
an adult, right?
515
00:21:34,110 --> 00:21:35,092
Yes, sir.
516
00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:36,093
And ready to face
517
00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:37,778
the responsibilities of life.
518
00:21:37,813 --> 00:21:39,380
Yes, sir.
519
00:21:39,415 --> 00:21:42,032
Harvey, what are your
plans for the future?
520
00:21:42,068 --> 00:21:43,951
The future?
521
00:21:43,986 --> 00:21:45,469
Mm-hmm.
522
00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:49,073
Well, uh, next week, I'm
going to get a new front tire
523
00:21:49,108 --> 00:21:50,140
for my bicycle.
524
00:21:50,175 --> 00:21:51,842
No, no, Harvey.
525
00:21:51,877 --> 00:21:56,646
I mean for work or a home
or... some kind of retirement plan.
526
00:21:56,682 --> 00:21:58,381
Well, uh, before I retire,
527
00:21:58,417 --> 00:22:01,118
I have to get out of
junior high school.
528
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,164
Oh, yeah.
529
00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:03,453
Hi, Harvey. I'm ready.
530
00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:04,555
Swell. Uh, let's go.
531
00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:06,669
Oh, listen, no need
to rush, Harvey.
532
00:22:06,693 --> 00:22:09,393
Um, Marcia, I was just
talking about you two.
533
00:22:09,428 --> 00:22:11,779
What about me?
534
00:22:11,814 --> 00:22:13,876
I was just saying that I think
535
00:22:13,900 --> 00:22:15,766
it's a big responsibility
536
00:22:15,801 --> 00:22:16,828
to be going steady,
537
00:22:16,852 --> 00:22:18,597
and I'm pleased that Harvey here
538
00:22:18,621 --> 00:22:19,898
is taking it so seriously.
539
00:22:19,922 --> 00:22:20,966
Seriously?
540
00:22:20,990 --> 00:22:22,734
CAROL: That's good to know.
541
00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:24,191
Before you know it, Harvey,
542
00:22:24,226 --> 00:22:25,725
you'll be out of high school,
543
00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:27,261
out of college, going to work,
544
00:22:27,296 --> 00:22:28,962
and hearing those wedding bells.
545
00:22:28,998 --> 00:22:30,447
Wedding bells?
546
00:22:30,482 --> 00:22:32,232
What wedding bells?
547
00:22:32,267 --> 00:22:34,701
Yours and Harvey's...
The two of you.
548
00:22:34,736 --> 00:22:36,320
Hand in hand, forever.
549
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:38,439
Me and Harvey?
550
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:41,541
Just like your father and I.
551
00:22:41,576 --> 00:22:42,621
Mm-hmm.
552
00:22:42,645 --> 00:22:44,589
We'd better get going, Harvey.
553
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:45,695
Yeah.
554
00:22:45,731 --> 00:22:47,031
If you'll excuse us, sir?
555
00:22:47,066 --> 00:22:48,543
Oh, sure. Of course, Harvey.
556
00:22:48,567 --> 00:22:50,779
Listen, it's nice having
this talk with you, okay?
557
00:22:50,803 --> 00:22:51,869
That's okay.
558
00:22:51,904 --> 00:22:52,937
Yeah.
559
00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:55,255
Good night, Mom.
560
00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:57,374
Good night, Dad.
561
00:23:03,348 --> 00:23:05,360
What was that all about?
562
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:11,321
Look, Marcia, I don't
think I'm ready to be 22 yet.
563
00:23:11,356 --> 00:23:13,440
That's not what I
meant by going steady.
564
00:23:13,476 --> 00:23:14,708
Me neither.
565
00:23:14,743 --> 00:23:17,277
Maybe we could go
steady just once a week.
566
00:23:17,312 --> 00:23:19,713
Yeah. That's steady enough.
567
00:23:19,748 --> 00:23:21,231
Still want that soda?
568
00:23:21,267 --> 00:23:24,001
Sure. But let's hurry
and get right home.
569
00:23:24,036 --> 00:23:27,021
Kids our age need lots of sleep.
570
00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:46,690
Mom, Dad, this is Lester.
571
00:23:46,725 --> 00:23:47,858
Hi.
572
00:23:47,893 --> 00:23:48,859
Hi, Lester.
573
00:23:48,894 --> 00:23:49,938
Hi.
574
00:23:49,962 --> 00:23:52,282
Kitchen's that way.
575
00:23:53,048 --> 00:23:54,014
Isn't he neat?
576
00:23:54,050 --> 00:23:56,016
Whatever happened to Danny?
577
00:23:56,052 --> 00:23:57,884
Yeah, and Harvey Bugs?
578
00:23:57,919 --> 00:24:00,370
Harvey turned out to be a drip.
579
00:24:00,405 --> 00:24:01,566
And Danny was dull.
580
00:24:01,590 --> 00:24:02,751
So was Alan.
581
00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:05,576
I'm going steady
with Lester this week.
582
00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:07,310
Oh, good.
583
00:24:07,346 --> 00:24:08,896
See you later.
584
00:24:11,300 --> 00:24:14,368
Oh, that's a nice age.
585
00:24:14,403 --> 00:24:17,504
Any age is a nice age.
586
00:24:17,539 --> 00:24:19,939
( growling): Even ours.
38983
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