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1
00:00:03,510 --> 00:00:06,426
[rock music]
2
00:00:06,513 --> 00:00:09,429
♪ ♪
3
00:00:09,516 --> 00:00:12,214
[both chuckling]
4
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,924
That statue kicks ass.
5
00:00:18,011 --> 00:00:19,970
Yeah, yeah.
[both chuckle]
6
00:00:20,057 --> 00:00:21,188
What kind of pants are those?
7
00:00:21,276 --> 00:00:23,016
They're yoga pants, dumbass.
8
00:00:23,103 --> 00:00:25,410
Everybody knows that.
[chuckles]
9
00:00:25,497 --> 00:00:27,934
Well, that statue sure looks
good in those yoga pants.
10
00:00:28,021 --> 00:00:29,719
[chuckles]
- It sure does.
11
00:00:29,806 --> 00:00:31,938
[chuckles]
- [chuckles]
12
00:00:32,025 --> 00:00:35,246
Yoga pants.
[chuckles]
13
00:00:35,333 --> 00:00:36,856
Mm.
14
00:00:36,943 --> 00:00:38,597
Um, Butt-Head?
15
00:00:38,684 --> 00:00:40,338
I wonder if I would look sexy
in yoga pants.
16
00:00:40,425 --> 00:00:41,600
[chuckles]
Yeah.
17
00:00:41,687 --> 00:00:43,776
Everyone looks sexy
in yoga pants.
18
00:00:43,863 --> 00:00:46,779
Yeah, except for you, Beavis,
19
00:00:46,866 --> 00:00:48,607
'cause you're disgusting.
20
00:00:48,694 --> 00:00:50,522
No way, Butt-Head.
[chuckles]
21
00:00:50,609 --> 00:00:52,045
You heard what she said.
22
00:00:52,132 --> 00:00:53,830
I'm gonna listen to a chick
and not you.
23
00:00:53,917 --> 00:00:55,440
[chuckles]
24
00:00:55,527 --> 00:00:57,312
I'm gonna go get
some yoga pants,
25
00:00:57,399 --> 00:00:59,052
and then I shall score.
26
00:00:59,139 --> 00:01:01,054
[chuckles]
27
00:01:01,141 --> 00:01:02,926
[slurps]
28
00:01:03,970 --> 00:01:05,842
You've seen it before,
but not on this scale.
29
00:01:05,929 --> 00:01:07,800
[laughs]
30
00:01:07,887 --> 00:01:11,021
I thought we all needed
cheering up, myself included.
31
00:01:11,108 --> 00:01:13,284
So I know how you love
a little bit of rock cooking.
32
00:01:13,371 --> 00:01:15,634
I thought I'd go OTT with it.
33
00:01:15,721 --> 00:01:18,115
You know--you know,
Butt-Head, um,
34
00:01:18,202 --> 00:01:19,943
sometimes I worry that
I'll never score, you know?
35
00:01:20,030 --> 00:01:21,336
But, um--
36
00:01:21,423 --> 00:01:24,208
but this guy will never score.
37
00:01:24,295 --> 00:01:26,689
Yeah, I don't see
how he could.
38
00:01:26,776 --> 00:01:28,952
[chuckles]
39
00:01:29,039 --> 00:01:30,301
Is this the outback
or something?
40
00:01:30,388 --> 00:01:33,043
He's in the outback
41
00:01:33,130 --> 00:01:34,827
'cause his wife
kicked him out,
42
00:01:34,914 --> 00:01:37,700
and now he's living out back
behind his mom's house.
43
00:01:37,787 --> 00:01:40,311
[chuckles]
44
00:01:40,398 --> 00:01:43,183
"Mom, can I play breakfast
in the backyard again?"
45
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,534
[both chuckle]
46
00:01:47,884 --> 00:01:51,235
This guy's survival skill,
is it, like, if he runs out
47
00:01:51,322 --> 00:01:53,933
of food, he just goes
to his mom's house
48
00:01:54,020 --> 00:01:56,066
and gets a bunch
of stuff out of the fridge?
49
00:01:56,153 --> 00:01:59,896
[both chuckle]
50
00:01:59,983 --> 00:02:01,854
And then he just goes
into the backyard
51
00:02:01,941 --> 00:02:03,029
and cooks it all, yeah.
52
00:02:03,116 --> 00:02:04,901
[chuckles]
53
00:02:04,988 --> 00:02:06,206
On one of those tiles
from the roof, yeah.
54
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,034
[chuckles]
55
00:02:08,121 --> 00:02:09,775
Why didn't he just, like,
get some Froot Loops
56
00:02:09,862 --> 00:02:10,950
or something?
57
00:02:11,037 --> 00:02:13,518
[both chuckle]
58
00:02:13,605 --> 00:02:16,260
This breakfast
is a cry for help.
59
00:02:16,347 --> 00:02:18,958
[both chuckle]
60
00:02:22,048 --> 00:02:23,963
He made a face
out of eggs and sausage
61
00:02:24,050 --> 00:02:25,138
'cause he's lonely.
62
00:02:25,225 --> 00:02:28,098
[both chuckle]
63
00:02:31,014 --> 00:02:32,842
"Let's make some
pancake boobs here."
64
00:02:32,929 --> 00:02:35,801
[both chuckle]
65
00:02:35,888 --> 00:02:37,977
He's like,
"I'm cooking for two
66
00:02:38,064 --> 00:02:41,024
"in case Jennifer comes back.
Has anyone seen her?
67
00:02:41,111 --> 00:02:43,635
No?
Well, that means more for me."
68
00:02:43,722 --> 00:02:45,289
[chuckles]
69
00:02:45,376 --> 00:02:47,378
This is turning out
to be a great day
70
00:02:47,465 --> 00:02:50,250
without Jennifer,
and many more to come, yeah.
71
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:51,513
[chuckles]
72
00:02:53,166 --> 00:02:54,559
" Yeah, my ex-wife
likes oranges,
73
00:02:54,646 --> 00:02:57,301
so I guess I'll make her
some orange juice.
74
00:02:57,388 --> 00:02:59,259
[chuckles]
75
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,261
And I'll make it here
in her sawed-off leg bone.
76
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:04,264
[both chuckle]
77
00:03:06,397 --> 00:03:08,268
That was lovely.
78
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,053
[chuckles]
79
00:03:10,140 --> 00:03:13,230
Yup, all good things
must come to an end,
80
00:03:13,317 --> 00:03:16,538
like this filthy breakfast
and my marriage of 14 months.
81
00:03:16,625 --> 00:03:18,714
[both chuckle]
82
00:03:18,801 --> 00:03:20,672
Come on, Butt-Head.
This is getting too sad.
83
00:03:20,759 --> 00:03:21,891
[chuckles]
84
00:03:21,978 --> 00:03:24,459
Yeah.
[chuckles]
85
00:03:24,546 --> 00:03:26,678
"And now I filled
this backpack with rocks,
86
00:03:26,765 --> 00:03:28,419
and I'm just gonna go
walk into the ocean."
87
00:03:28,506 --> 00:03:32,467
[both chuckle]
- Yeah.
88
00:03:32,554 --> 00:03:35,905
"In the next episode, you'll
be seeing an outback funeral."
89
00:03:35,992 --> 00:03:39,430
[both chuckle]
90
00:03:39,517 --> 00:03:41,824
"Let me know if she's there."
[chuckles]
91
00:03:41,911 --> 00:03:44,217
"She'll probably cry,
and then she'll regret
92
00:03:44,304 --> 00:03:46,089
running off
with her college roommate."
93
00:03:46,176 --> 00:03:48,221
Yeah.
[both chuckle]
94
00:03:48,308 --> 00:03:50,789
She'll be like, "You know,
if I hadn't left him,
95
00:03:50,876 --> 00:03:54,010
"he'd still be alive and
cooking me a filthy breakfast
96
00:03:54,097 --> 00:03:55,402
on a rock."
97
00:03:55,490 --> 00:03:57,187
[both chuckle]
98
00:03:57,274 --> 00:03:59,972
"And don't forget,
if you like this video,
99
00:04:00,059 --> 00:04:01,234
can you please go
find my wife?"
100
00:04:01,321 --> 00:04:03,019
[both chuckle]
101
00:04:03,106 --> 00:04:04,499
Just smash
that find-my-wife button.
102
00:04:04,586 --> 00:04:07,719
[both chuckle]
103
00:04:09,852 --> 00:04:11,767
Go get me some yoga pants.
104
00:04:11,854 --> 00:04:14,421
Ooh, yeah.
[chuckles]
105
00:04:14,509 --> 00:04:18,164
Uh, here you go, Beavis.
[chuckles]
106
00:04:18,251 --> 00:04:20,950
Um, those look kind of small,
Butt-Head.
107
00:04:21,037 --> 00:04:23,082
Of course they look small, dumbass.
108
00:04:23,169 --> 00:04:25,650
That's because they, like,
stretch and stuff so that
109
00:04:25,737 --> 00:04:28,392
they can, like, rearrange
your butt or something.
110
00:04:28,479 --> 00:04:30,046
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That makes sense, yeah.
111
00:04:30,133 --> 00:04:32,178
[chuckles]
This is gonna be cool.
112
00:04:32,265 --> 00:04:33,223
[chuckles]
113
00:04:35,225 --> 00:04:37,444
- [slurps]
- Okay.
114
00:04:37,532 --> 00:04:38,707
I'll take these off.
115
00:04:38,794 --> 00:04:40,578
Here we go.
[chuckles]
116
00:04:40,665 --> 00:04:41,884
Ah.
117
00:04:41,971 --> 00:04:44,277
Hey, how's it going?
[chuckles]
118
00:04:44,364 --> 00:04:47,890
Hey, Butt-Head,
I'm, like, naked in a place
119
00:04:47,977 --> 00:04:50,588
that, like,
chicks have been naked in.
120
00:04:50,675 --> 00:04:52,285
Cool.
[chuckles]
121
00:04:52,372 --> 00:04:54,853
- Boing, oing, oing.
- [chuckles]
122
00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:56,246
Okay, okay.
[chuckles]
123
00:04:56,333 --> 00:04:58,161
- [slurps]
- Put these bad boys on.
124
00:04:58,248 --> 00:04:59,249
[chuckles]
125
00:04:59,336 --> 00:05:02,252
[grunting]
126
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,436
[slurps]
127
00:05:12,523 --> 00:05:15,700
[grunting]
128
00:05:19,574 --> 00:05:21,358
About halfway there.
129
00:05:21,445 --> 00:05:23,969
[grunting]
130
00:05:24,056 --> 00:05:25,275
Son of a bitch!
131
00:05:25,362 --> 00:05:26,450
[elastic snaps]
132
00:05:26,537 --> 00:05:28,060
[sighs]
Okay.
133
00:05:28,147 --> 00:05:29,627
[chuckles]
Here we go.
134
00:05:29,714 --> 00:05:31,411
How do I look?
[chuckles]
135
00:05:33,675 --> 00:05:35,328
Uh, Beavis?
136
00:05:35,415 --> 00:05:37,548
Pretty sexy.
137
00:05:37,635 --> 00:05:39,985
[chuckles]
- Uh, Beavis?
138
00:05:40,072 --> 00:05:41,247
[chuckles]
- Yeah, I'd tap that.
139
00:05:41,334 --> 00:05:42,858
Yeah--ooh.
[chuckles]
140
00:05:42,945 --> 00:05:46,992
Uh, Beavis, it looks like
you don't have any nads.
141
00:05:47,079 --> 00:05:47,863
What?
What're you talking about?
142
00:05:47,950 --> 00:05:50,169
Or a schlong.
[chuckles]
143
00:05:50,256 --> 00:05:51,823
No way, Butt-Head.
My schlong is right--
144
00:05:51,910 --> 00:05:55,131
[screams]
145
00:05:55,218 --> 00:05:56,349
No, what happened to my nads?
- [chuckles]
146
00:05:56,436 --> 00:05:58,221
I know they're in there
'cause these pants
147
00:05:58,308 --> 00:06:00,702
are really making 'em hurt.
148
00:06:00,789 --> 00:06:02,442
Uh, you better take 'em off
149
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,357
before any chicks see you, Beavis.
150
00:06:04,444 --> 00:06:06,882
That's embarrassing.
- [grunting]
151
00:06:06,969 --> 00:06:08,100
They won't come off,
Butt-Head.
152
00:06:08,187 --> 00:06:09,362
[grunts]
153
00:06:09,449 --> 00:06:11,016
My wiener's going numb.
[screaming]
154
00:06:11,103 --> 00:06:14,716
Just get ahold of yourself, Beavis.
155
00:06:14,803 --> 00:06:16,761
Hold of yourself.
[chuckles]
156
00:06:16,848 --> 00:06:18,720
I can't get 'em off.
Ahh!
157
00:06:23,812 --> 00:06:25,291
[grunting]
You gotta help me, Butt-Head.
158
00:06:25,378 --> 00:06:28,904
These pants are cutting off
oxygen to my schlong.
159
00:06:28,991 --> 00:06:32,864
Hmm, we need to find a place
that sells schlong oxygen.
160
00:06:32,951 --> 00:06:34,561
No, we gotta find something
to get 'em off
161
00:06:34,649 --> 00:06:36,607
before my wiener dies.
162
00:06:36,694 --> 00:06:37,782
Damn it.
[grumbles]
163
00:06:37,869 --> 00:06:40,350
We just need to,
like, oil 'em up,
164
00:06:40,437 --> 00:06:42,395
and then they'll
just slide right off.
165
00:06:42,482 --> 00:06:44,659
Now just wait over there.
166
00:06:44,746 --> 00:06:47,966
I'll be right back.
[chuckles]
167
00:06:48,053 --> 00:06:51,970
Care to try our new
olive oils from Tuscany?
168
00:06:52,057 --> 00:06:54,059
Okay, Beavis,
I got you some oil,
169
00:06:54,146 --> 00:06:56,366
and it has Tuscany in it.
170
00:06:56,453 --> 00:06:58,194
What's that?
171
00:06:58,281 --> 00:07:00,239
I don't know,
but it'll grease you up good.
172
00:07:00,326 --> 00:07:02,372
Open up your pants.
[chuckles]
173
00:07:07,812 --> 00:07:09,205
It's not working, Butt-Head.
174
00:07:09,292 --> 00:07:11,903
That's 'cause you need
some muscle, dumbass.
175
00:07:11,990 --> 00:07:13,818
Hold on to that thing,
and let a real man do this.
176
00:07:17,779 --> 00:07:19,737
Uh, Butt-Head, Butt-Head.
177
00:07:19,824 --> 00:07:20,564
Butt-Head,
I'm starting to slip.
178
00:07:20,651 --> 00:07:22,697
Hold on, dumbass.
179
00:07:22,784 --> 00:07:24,220
- I can't.
- Almost got it.
180
00:07:24,307 --> 00:07:25,917
No, Butt-Head.
181
00:07:26,004 --> 00:07:27,179
No, no, no--oh, no!
182
00:07:27,266 --> 00:07:28,790
Ahh!
183
00:07:30,356 --> 00:07:33,533
[screaming]
184
00:07:40,802 --> 00:07:43,805
[chuckles]
That was cool.
185
00:07:43,892 --> 00:07:46,111
[chuckles]
186
00:07:46,198 --> 00:07:48,113
[grunts]
187
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,767
I can't get up, Butt-Head.
188
00:07:49,854 --> 00:07:52,509
Ow, ah.
[grunting]
189
00:07:52,596 --> 00:07:55,294
It just keeps going down.
190
00:07:55,381 --> 00:07:58,645
Uh, don't worry, Beavis.
I'm gonna go get help.
191
00:07:58,733 --> 00:07:59,864
Ow.
[grunting]
192
00:07:59,951 --> 00:08:01,344
Going down.
[chuckles]
193
00:08:01,431 --> 00:08:03,563
Oh, yeah.
[grunting]
194
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,087
Eh, but really, Butt-Head,
come on.
195
00:08:05,174 --> 00:08:07,480
Ah, ow, ah.
196
00:08:08,481 --> 00:08:11,006
Uh, excuse me.
197
00:08:11,093 --> 00:08:12,747
We need help and stuff.
198
00:08:12,834 --> 00:08:13,704
What's the problem?
199
00:08:13,791 --> 00:08:17,664
Uh, my friend has no nads.
200
00:08:17,752 --> 00:08:21,538
[grunts]
Ah, ow, ah, ow, ah!
201
00:08:21,625 --> 00:08:23,235
Uh, he says he doesn't know
how to help you, Beavis.
202
00:08:23,322 --> 00:08:24,367
Damn it.
203
00:08:24,454 --> 00:08:27,849
[grunting]
204
00:08:27,936 --> 00:08:30,242
Well, I'll see you at home.
205
00:08:30,329 --> 00:08:32,070
- [screams]
- Let me know how it turns out.
206
00:08:32,157 --> 00:08:34,159
[chuckles]
- Okay, see you later.
207
00:08:34,246 --> 00:08:35,552
Damn it.
208
00:08:35,639 --> 00:08:38,729
Ah, ow.
Ah, ow.
209
00:08:40,557 --> 00:08:43,429
[grunting]
210
00:08:46,215 --> 00:08:47,129
Ah!
211
00:08:47,216 --> 00:08:49,609
Damn it.
212
00:08:52,221 --> 00:08:54,876
[snoring]
213
00:09:00,011 --> 00:09:02,100
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
214
00:09:02,187 --> 00:09:03,580
[chuckles]
215
00:09:06,061 --> 00:09:07,279
[snoring]
216
00:09:07,366 --> 00:09:10,282
[coughs]
217
00:09:10,369 --> 00:09:12,981
[snoring]
218
00:09:30,389 --> 00:09:31,695
Chirp.
219
00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:36,295
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