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1
00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:23,880
Hello?
2
00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:34,440
Who's there?
3
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:51,320
Hi.
4
00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:55,440
Hello...? Oh! He spoke to me!
He knows I exist!
5
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:04,280
They're early!
Alison, I can see their car!
6
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:05,600
What is he talking about?
7
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,520
Our first guests, down at
the Gatehouse.
8
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,480
The Gatehouse?! So exciting.
Oh!
9
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:11,840
Do you want to go, or shall I?
10
00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,160
But who are they?
Is there a vetting process?
11
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:15,400
Shall we go together?
12
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,360
Er, sure. Yeah.
Or is that creepy?
13
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,200
Oh. Er... You go. You go.
14
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,040
Good luck.
OK. All right. Won't be long.
15
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,720
What are their connections?
What is their circumstance?
16
00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,040
Or are you just inviting people
in willy-nilly?
17
00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:27,440
I quite agree, Fanny.
18
00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:30,080
They're just coming for their
holidays! Their what?
19
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,520
I mean, I can show you
their booking if you really want.
20
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:33,960
I'm sure they're a lovely couple.
21
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,440
It's their anniversary.
22
00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:36,880
Oh! Hello?
23
00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,840
Dirty weekend?
Don't even think about it.
24
00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:42,520
What? They're the first ones
to leave a review, OK?
25
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,080
It has to go well.
Just leave them alone.
26
00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:47,680
All right, all right,
all right, fun police.
27
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:50,080
What is she thinking?
Honestly!
28
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:53,200
The body
had been remarkably preserved
29
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,720
over the centuries in the ice.
30
00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,600
Using state-of-the-art
3D modelling,
31
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,440
researchers have been able
to create this image
32
00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:01,640
of what the iceman
would have looked like.
33
00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:03,920
And viewers
can see the full story
34
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,960
in tonight's special,
The Man In The Ice.
35
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,160
I know that guy!
Huh?
36
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:35,000
{\an8}...with me, Robin.
Honestly! I swear on my life.
37
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,560
You're dead, mate!
38
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,760
I mean, it could be anyone.
They all, y'know...
39
00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:40,240
They what? Look the same?
40
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,960
I didn't say that. You do tell a lot
of tall tales, truth be told.
41
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,480
Look, I met the guy.
42
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,320
When? Where?
43
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,320
Well, I don't know.
44
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,880
It was long time ago!
45
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,360
Hmm... I met him!
46
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,800
Ooh...!
47
00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:00,160
It is exciting meeting someone
off the telly, though, isn't it?
48
00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:01,640
You know, someone famous?
49
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,400
I actually met Bobby Davro
in the changing rooms
50
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,080
of the Thimbleby Leisure Centre.
51
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:07,840
I lent him my talc.
52
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,920
Mm. I met Field Marshal
Harold Alexander.
53
00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:13,280
Bally hero. Anyone else?
54
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,800
Byron. Was a tosspot.
55
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,880
I suppose if I'd lived
a little longer,
56
00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:19,720
I might have met
someone interesting.
57
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:21,760
I met the Elephant Man.
58
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,040
Elephant Man?
59
00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,200
What? You met John Merrick?
What was he like?
60
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:26,960
Rather boring. Couldn't
see the fuss.
61
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,080
Hmm, let me see...
62
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,440
How about... the Queen?!
63
00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:33,240
Ooh! Very good.
64
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:34,400
Beat that.
65
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,000
Henry VIII.
66
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,200
Even better. Touche.
67
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,560
I think Humphrey takes it.
68
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,360
How did it go? Did you show them
round? Yeah.
69
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:44,720
Did they like
the bottle of wine?
70
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:46,760
I don't know. They didn't
drink it in front of me.
71
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,440
Well, how did they seem?
They seemed...
72
00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,920
...all right. Yeah. They didn't
really say much, to be honest.
73
00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:53,240
Oh. Probably waiting for you
to get out
74
00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:55,720
so they could get it on!
75
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,520
Do you think
they were disappointed?
76
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,240
Maybe the photos
make it look too good.
77
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,320
Or maybe they just had a long
journey. So they were tired.
78
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,200
I don't know! Well, did they ask
for anything else?
79
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,320
Just extra pillows.
Great. Cool. Yeah.
80
00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,160
Well, we can do that. I'll just go to
the basement and get some covers.
81
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,000
OK. Alison?
82
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,280
I'll come, too.
Oh! Erm...
83
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,440
Extra pillows?! Who do these people
think they are,
84
00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:19,400
the Princess and the Pea?!
85
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:21,880
What? I knew you'd
regret this, Alison.
86
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,800
You've got a couple
of perfect strangers
87
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,760
in the servants' quarters
while you, the lady of the house,
88
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,320
running around after them
like the maid.
89
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:31,880
The world's gone
absolutely topsy-turvy.
90
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,800
They're on holiday, that's all.
And they're paying us.
91
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,160
Exactly. You're the staff.
92
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:37,600
Oh...
93
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:41,080
Ah! I'd love a little holiday, me.
94
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,720
What be "holly day"?
95
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,280
You mean you've never
been on holiday, Mary?
96
00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:47,720
Don't think so.
97
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:51,680
Oh, Mary! Where do I start?
98
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:54,920
Can I come with you
to see the guests?
99
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:58,280
Erm, it's a bit... I kind of
want to be able to concentrate.
100
00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:01,360
Come on, then, tell us.
What did he say?
101
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,880
He said hello to me. Well, he said
hello to both of us.
102
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:07,280
Well, he was looking at me.
Was he? Yeah. I don't know he was.
103
00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:08,880
Does he look as good
in real life?
104
00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,560
All right. He looked
better, if anything.
105
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,800
He's so elegant,
the way he moves, in't he?
106
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:17,200
Really, like, demure,
like a... flamingo or something.
107
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,120
Yeah.
Ooh!
108
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,920
Are you talking about Thomas?
Yeah.
109
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,280
I just wish I could get to know
him. I reckon he'd be really
110
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:25,920
sensitive and attentive.
111
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:27,760
Yeah, careful
what you wish for!
112
00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:32,840
I mean, I know him.
He's one of my best friends.
113
00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:35,480
I could definitely introduce
you to him, if you like.
114
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:36,520
What?!
115
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:39,880
That is such a good idea,
Kitty. He would love that.
116
00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:42,240
Are you serious?
Really? My Lord!
117
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:45,280
In real, real life?
I can't believe that.
118
00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:47,840
Are you all right?
119
00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:49,200
What happened to yous?
120
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,800
Just excited. Yeah. Yeah!
121
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:59,760
I just remember his name!
The guy from the television.
122
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,040
What was it?
123
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,840
Hat.
124
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,080
Sorry, "Hat"?
125
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,400
Hat.
126
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:06,560
Like... a hat?
127
00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:08,600
Yeah, but this was before hats.
128
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,520
Well, they're not going
to find out his name
129
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,000
by studying his bones, are they?
130
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,800
This doesn't prove
a thing, Robin.
131
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:14,960
His name was Hat!
132
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:18,280
Oh! I remember now,
we make a trade.
133
00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:22,320
He give me furs and I give
him special tool.
134
00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:27,560
It was a stone tied to a stick!
He's so naive.
135
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:30,440
You can say what you like, Robin,
but it's hardly evidence, is it?
136
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:32,960
Hmm? Ach!
137
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:38,040
Ooh! Alison!
Bogeys at six o'clock.
138
00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,720
Oh, they're with me.
Hiya, Thomas.
139
00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,000
Hi. How are you doing today?
All right?
140
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,720
Er, yes, thank you.
141
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:47,480
So, these guys are really,
really big fans of yours,
142
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,160
and if it's not too much trouble,
they'd like to meet you.
143
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,520
Really?
144
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,240
I was... meant to start
working on a new...
145
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,560
...but... but it's fine, it can
wait. Bring them forward.
146
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,040
Come forward.
147
00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,680
Yes, that's it.
148
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,560
Hi. Hello.
149
00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:05,160
Can I just say,
I think you're amazing.
150
00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:06,480
We think you're amazing.
151
00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:08,400
Really amazing.
Thank you.
152
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:09,920
Can I ask you a question?
153
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,120
Er, yes, quickly. Be quick.
154
00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:14,080
What's your favourite, erm...
155
00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:15,640
...animal?
That's a good one.
156
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,200
Probably a wild tiger.
157
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:18,880
Yes! I told you!
158
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:20,680
I told YOU that! Yes? You?
159
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,760
Er, wh-wh-what's
your favourite colour?
160
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:24,160
Burgundy, big time.
161
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,400
No way!
162
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:28,920
Alison? Yeah?
163
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:31,640
What the bally heck
is going on?
164
00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:34,920
Ah. They took a bit of a shine
to my painting of Thomas
165
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:36,840
in the basement. Right.
166
00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,040
And now he's some sort of demi-god?
167
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,360
They love him. What's
wrong with that?
168
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:44,160
It's absurd! I mean, look at him.
169
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,480
Alison, could we have a picture
with Thomas, please?
170
00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:48,240
Er, yeah, all right. OK.
171
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:49,840
Very well.
172
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,000
Can you do that?
173
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,080
In-between you both?
Yeah, yeah.
174
00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,160
Oh, yeah. Oh. Yeah.
175
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,400
Er, did you mean a painting?
176
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,000
Oh, yeah. Doesn't have to be a big
one. Yeah just a little one.
177
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,000
No! What's the matter with her?
178
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,320
Cow. She's not doing the painting?
179
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,640
For goodness' sake!
Don't ask, don't get.
180
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:11,720
Yeah, exactly.
181
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,200
She's not doing them today, guys.
She's not doing paintings.
182
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,560
What about tomorrow? You'd have to
ask about tomorrow.
183
00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:18,280
I will.
184
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,720
Oh-ho-ho! Didn't take long!
185
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:35,400
Wha'?
186
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:41,320
Ah!
187
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:44,720
Oh!
188
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,360
Great minds, eh?
Er, well, no, no.
189
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,120
I simply wanted to see
who was lording it over Alison.
190
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,680
Well, I'll let you know
when the action starts.
191
00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:55,000
I told you, I'm not
remotely interested
192
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,960
in watching this man and his wife
in the throes of marital...
193
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,480
Oh!
194
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,040
Your pillows.
I'm Alison, by the way.
195
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:12,120
Shameful! Simpering like a servant!
196
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,680
Hello? Hello!
197
00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:16,920
...and I said we were happy
to have them, and if there's
198
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,960
anything else they need,
they should let us know.
199
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,120
Right. And what did he say?
200
00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:22,360
He said they would let us
know if they need anything.
201
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,120
OK, so... what's the problem?
202
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:27,360
I just... I didn't get a good vibe.
Like, they didn't seem...
203
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:29,400
...happy. What, like he was rude?
204
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:32,360
No, just, like, weren't...
205
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,400
...holiday-fied.
206
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,720
Really? Well, do you think
there's something wrong
207
00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:39,160
with the room? Maybe those photos
do make it look too good.
208
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,560
Maybe. But what if it's nothing
to do with the room?
209
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:42,960
Then that's not our fault.
210
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:44,720
Yeah, but we want them
to have a good time.
211
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:46,560
Yeah, but we can't make them
have a good time.
212
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:49,240
If they don't have a good time,
they won't leave a good review.
213
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,520
Yeah. Well, what do we do?
214
00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,720
Maybe you should go. I am not
asking them if they're unhappy.
215
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:58,440
No! But just, y'know,
kind of go in
216
00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:01,600
under the radar,
just see what's up. Ah. Right.
217
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,080
Like, "Here's another pillow,
in case six isn't enough.
218
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,560
"Ooh! Are you depressed?"
219
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:08,920
Yeah. Maybe it'd just
make things worse.
220
00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:10,240
Yeah.
221
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,160
This is hard. Yeah!
222
00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,640
There! You see?
223
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,360
Tossa de Mar.
224
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:21,760
Paradise.
225
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,840
But that's across the seas!
226
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,160
You must have journeyed
for days and days!
227
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:30,280
Oh, no, no, because we flew
there on an aeroplane.
228
00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:34,120
Ohhh! Yes! Now, to get the most
out of your holiday,
229
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:38,440
you need to get an early flight,
so we'd get Daley up about 3am.
230
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:39,960
3am, before the birds?!
231
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:44,160
Yeah! Get him in the Datsun.
Ten-pence piece for the toll,
232
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,080
Blue Riband in the glove box,
233
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:49,440
Status Quo in the tape deck,
and you're on the motorway.
234
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,640
Now, you need
to get to the airport
235
00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:53,760
at least four hours
before your flight
236
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,640
so you can check in your bags
and go through passport control.
237
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:57,760
Passp...?
238
00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,000
Passport! Passport, yeah...
239
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,800
Yeah, yeah. It's an
official document
240
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,480
given to you by the Government.
241
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,640
It offers you protection
as a British citizen
242
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:07,840
should you get into any trouble.
243
00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:08,960
Troubles?!
244
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,160
Yeah, like, y'know,
if you lose your luggage, say,
245
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:13,480
or, erm, find yourself
246
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:16,000
in the middle of a military coup
and need to be evacuated.
247
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,160
Oh...
248
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:18,640
But that only happened once.
249
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:21,000
Now, duty-free!
250
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:25,040
We're talking gin, Toblerones,
fags, if you smoke 'em.
251
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,080
He had a tattoo!
252
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:28,880
Hat, he had a tattoo on his back.
253
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,320
Mm.
254
00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,640
Sailor, was he? Or a convict?
255
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:33,760
What was it?
256
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,640
It was like a big X.
257
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:36,880
X marks the spot!
258
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:39,360
Where was the treasure?
In his bottom?
259
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:44,000
He's so funny! He's so funny!
260
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,280
He's so quick!
261
00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:49,440
Look, his name was Hat,
gave me this fur,
262
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,840
had a tattoo on his back.
263
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:53,960
Again, Robin, this proves nothing.
264
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,400
Yes. I mean,
you could tell us he had a...
265
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,960
He's going to say something funny
again. Listen to this. Shhh!
266
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:01,320
Shut up! Oh, here it comes!
267
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,800
That's spoiled it now!
268
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,960
Whatever it was,
it was going to be funny.
269
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,640
Yeah, definitely!
And clever, too, probably.
270
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,360
Why are they here?
271
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:12,520
Why are you here?
272
00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,320
Why are you fawning over this man?
273
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,840
What has he done to
earn your admiration?
274
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:20,160
Well, he's famous, in't he?
My mate said he was famous.
275
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,520
Yeah, I said that.
276
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:22,840
Oh, good grief!
277
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,800
I mean, if you're going to
adulate somebody,
278
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,280
at least choose
a person of merit,
279
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,880
a person who's achieved
something. Churchill. Monty.
280
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:31,800
Lord Brigadier Sir Anthony
Bartholomew Raisinby Jones.
281
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,280
Who? Who?
282
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:36,920
Heroes.
283
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,720
Men.
284
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:42,480
I need some air.
285
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:43,720
Oh, I think he's off.
286
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:44,960
I wonder where he's going.
287
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:48,000
Maybe he's hot and he needs
to take his top off. Don't, don't!
288
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,560
Oh, it's relentless!
289
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,440
Guys, I think Thomas
needs some space.
290
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,240
I'm afraid he's very busy
291
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,240
and he cannot be disturbed
while he works,
292
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,480
so that's enough for today,
thank you.
293
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,160
What?
294
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:01,680
He's very busy.
295
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,480
Ohhh!
296
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:10,320
You all right, Thomas?
Oh, Alison,
297
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:12,920
you've no idea what it's like
to be pursued endlessly,
298
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:15,360
obsessively, objectified, harassed,
299
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,400
given no space.
300
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,320
Yeah, that sounds like hell...
301
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:23,280
You look radiant today,
by the way.
302
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:26,680
Crikey,
this is depressing.
303
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,960
Yes. I thought my marriage
was cold.
304
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,120
See? This is what happens when you
get to know each other too well.
305
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,400
No mystery left, no spark.
306
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,840
A fine excuse. I'm sure
there's plenty of spark
307
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:38,360
under the surface.
308
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,600
Well, it takes two to tango.
309
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,640
Hmm.
310
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:45,440
Oh! Seriously? It's half nine!
311
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:48,920
Which is a perfectly acceptable time
for a lady to retire.
312
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:50,120
You would say that.
313
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,920
And what exactly
do you mean by that?
314
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,200
Well, you're a square,
aren't you? Just like her.
315
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,520
Oh! You've never known
how to handle a woman...
316
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,720
Tea and coffee there.
317
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:12,440
Oh, Mary! Holiday breakfasts!
Heaven on Earth!
318
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:15,840
You can have cereals
and a cooked breakfast.
319
00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:19,520
And pastries! You have to
make sure you time it right,
320
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,880
because they leave the cooked
bits in the serving trays,
321
00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:24,960
so you've got to go up when a fresh
batch of scrambled eggs go in.
322
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,200
Then you've got to pounce!
323
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,760
Otherwise you load your plate
up with sausages and beans
324
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,640
and so on, only to find
you're stuck with
325
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:32,920
the cold, milky scraps
at the bottom of the tray!
326
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,040
Oh, no! Yeah.
327
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:38,000
Anyway, after breakfast...
328
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,240
...it's off to the beach!
329
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:40,600
Yay! Weather permitting.
330
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,840
Oh, yeah... Yeah.
331
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:47,960
They're not talking
to each other.
332
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,800
Right. Something's definitely up.
333
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,600
I mean, maybe they didn't sleep
very well.
334
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,520
I told you we should have tried
that mattress!
335
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,680
You're joking! That mattress
is better than ours.
336
00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:56,920
It cost more than the TV.
337
00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:59,160
Well, hopefully
this'll cheer them up.
338
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,440
Oh, my God! Full of conversation
this morning...!
339
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:04,840
Ha! Ready and waiting, if there's
a conversation to be had.
340
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,680
Oh, really? I hadn't noticed.
341
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:10,040
Maybe if she took her head out of
her smartphone for one second,
342
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,040
he might think it was
worth saying something.
343
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,320
She's busy.
344
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:17,240
Leave your work at home, love!
Supposed to be on holiday, yeah?
345
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,200
Well, would he rather be
with his wife
346
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,920
or going off on his bicycle?
347
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,280
She may as well be working,
348
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,800
if he's more interested
in that contraption.
349
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,840
Anything else I can get you?
No, it's fine.
350
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:30,920
No. Nothing more, thank you. OK.
351
00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:33,160
I've got some intel. Ooh.
352
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:35,880
Ah, that's enough butter,
thank you.
353
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,920
Oh! There he is! There he is!
354
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,760
Oh, my goodness, the dew is still
upon the grass,
355
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:42,960
and already they come
for their pound of flesh.
356
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,040
Katherine, would you be
a darling and detain them
357
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,480
while I compose myself?
Of course!
358
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,240
Right, morning, everyone.
359
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,160
Thomas will be able to do some
meeting and greeting shortly,
360
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,840
so if I can ask you
to please form a queue...
361
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:57,960
Actually, I've slept here.
You pushed in.
362
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:01,280
No! No! All right, we all
get a turn. Will we all get a turn?
363
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,400
Robin! Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey!
364
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,880
You heard lady! Form a queue!
365
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,600
Why are you stood
in front of me?
366
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:11,320
Excuse me... All right!
367
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,320
It's empty, you know.
All this.
368
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,560
They don't know the first thing
about you, Thorne.
369
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,560
They've just formed
this... infatuation
370
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,080
based on an image.
371
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,720
They're waiting on the stairs.
372
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,360
I thought you could have
an hour now
373
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:26,600
to relax and then a meet-and-greet
with the fans,
374
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,360
which will take you
up until Food Club,
375
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,080
or I can get you out of that,
if you want.
376
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,560
Wonderful, Kitty. I don't know
what I'd do without you.
377
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,640
No, it's a pleasure
to be on the team.
378
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:35,800
Ridiculous!
379
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,640
You mustn't be so
jealous, Captain.
380
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,760
Believe me,
you wouldn't want this.
381
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:44,480
It's a tiresome consequence
of the life of a successful artist.
382
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,400
They don't care about your art!
383
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,640
Faradiddle, sir! They love me
for my poems.
384
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,080
Tish-tosh!
385
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,240
Fine. We'll prove it.
386
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,080
Katherine, change of plan.
387
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:58,360
Tell the creatures I shall give
a recital in the ballroom at noon.
388
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,120
Then we shall see!
389
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,320
Mm. And then we'll see.
390
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:05,720
And then... we will see.
391
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,640
You're insane. No way.
It's like vandalism.
392
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:11,360
Or they can have a miserable time
and leave a crappy first review
393
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:13,440
and ruin our B&B
before it's even started!
394
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:16,520
What kind of review would you give
if the host slashed your bike tyres?
395
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:18,760
Not slash. Gently puncture.
396
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:19,840
What?
397
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:22,080
We'll make it look like
a stone did it, or something.
398
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,800
And then we'll offer him
a repair kit
399
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,720
and he'll think
we're really helpful.
400
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,480
It is not our job
to fix their marriage.
401
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:28,880
But imagine if it worked!
402
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:30,680
It would be the best holiday ever.
403
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:33,160
It's a small misdemeanour
for the greater good.
404
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,200
Fine. But you're doing
the tyre. Yes!
405
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:41,720
I forgot to mention,
you've got to get up early
406
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,680
to put your towels
on the sunbeds
407
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:45,520
before you go to breakfast, yes.
408
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,880
Now, I like to go for a dip first,
409
00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:50,040
before I put my sun cream on,
410
00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:51,520
otherwise you just wash it off.
411
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:54,520
And believe me, you don't want
to have sunburn! No!
412
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:57,920
Daley got it so bad once,
we had to cover his whole body
413
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,720
in bicarbonate of soda!
And that were on t'first day!
414
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:03,560
So we had to keep him
in t'shade until we went home.
415
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:07,120
And then, a week later,
he shed his skin like a snake!
416
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,600
And then there was the holiday
where we all got food poisoning
417
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,320
from the dodgy beach melons.
418
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:13,400
Or the one where someone
pinched me wallet
419
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:16,000
and the police accused me
of lying! And...
420
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,120
And come to think of it, Mary,
421
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:20,560
holidays are a bloody nightmare!
422
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:21,920
Keep clear!
423
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:25,080
They're nothing but stress.
424
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,480
Sorry. Sorry.
425
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,320
Still...
426
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:32,040
...sound like an adventure to me!
427
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,960
I never did leave my
town of birth, so...
428
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,440
What, not once?
429
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,440
No, never, no.
430
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,040
No.
431
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:43,240
Was a life of
toiling the land for us,
432
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:47,640
you know, outside all the day,
planting, harvesting,
433
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:51,600
fetching water from the well
and logs for the fire.
434
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,400
Teaching the childrens
how to weave baskets
435
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,960
five potatoes high!
436
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:59,360
Feeding the livestock
and picking fruit.
437
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:02,280
Oh, and pressing apples
for the cider.
438
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,680
Sometimes would my husband
go to the lake to fish,
439
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,120
and then I would join him
440
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:09,560
and prepare a fire
to cook the catch.
441
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:13,440
And then would we huddle
under a blanket and eat
442
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,240
as the sun sank
beyond the trees
443
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,440
and the birds sang
for their bedtimes.
444
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,560
Well! Mary...
445
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,640
...one day of your life
446
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,880
sounds like my perfect holiday.
447
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,360
Five stars.
448
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:35,600
Oh. Well, I suppose
it was all right.
449
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,320
Up to a point.
450
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:42,360
Sure. Sure.
451
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:32,160
{\an8}I hope you're right about this.
452
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:33,560
{\an8}Mm.
453
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:40,320
Oh, it's so exciting!
454
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,560
Do you have a ticket?
I didn't know we needed...
455
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,120
Well, they're make-believe, so...
456
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,120
Thank you! Ticket, please.
457
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,400
Thank you!
458
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:58,640
And now the moment
you've all been waiting for -
459
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,920
an audience with Thomas Thorne.
460
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,360
Sh, sh, sh, sh.
461
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:14,880
Hmm...
462
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,080
This first poem...
463
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,360
...is called Misty Glade.
464
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:21,800
Misty Glade!
It's good, that.
465
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,640
I hear the running water
466
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,960
It rushes to be with the sea
467
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:33,160
And so it is with me
468
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,400
She stands among the birch and elk
469
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,080
The cobwebs shimmer...
470
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,000
Where are the cobwebs?
I don't know.
471
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,640
Maybe in the branches
of the birch and elk.
472
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:46,920
The dew dresses
the forest floor
473
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:48,960
A crystal carpet
474
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:52,200
And here a door!
That once...
475
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,080
A door in the woods?
476
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:57,880
I think it might be a metaphor,
like an opening of some kind.
477
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:00,520
Not a real door?
Cease...
478
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,760
...the chatter.
479
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:06,480
Thank you.
480
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:07,960
I'll start again.
481
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,760
I hear the running water
482
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:13,680
It rushes to be with the sea...
483
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,360
A verdant spr...
484
00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:18,840
That's not how I read it.
485
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,840
May I finish?
Is this going to be long?
486
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,080
Cos I need the toilet.
487
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:23,680
Is it meant to be more abstract?
488
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,240
I'm sorry, I just don't get it.
489
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:29,480
You're not supposed to get it,
you philistine wazzock! It's art!
490
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,280
Yeah, but it's confusing.
So confusing!
491
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:38,320
It is ambiguous.
If you don't like it, get out!
492
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,800
Fine. I will.
No worries, mate.
493
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,120
It's rubbish, anyway.
I don't like it here, anyway.
494
00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:46,320
Sorry, but that's really rude.
You're the wazzock!
495
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:51,440
Ah! I've got a poem.
496
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,160
There once was a poet
called Thomas
497
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:57,560
Who suddenly
found himself famous
498
00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:59,040
Thought it was grand
499
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,240
Until then, he find... found...
500
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:02,640
Well, I can't do it!
501
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,240
The point is, I was right, hmm?
502
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:08,280
Hmm! Good. Carry on.
503
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,680
Well, I liked it.
504
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:14,760
You're sweet, Kitty.
You don't have to pretend.
505
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:18,520
No, really! I especially liked
the one about the egg.
506
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,680
It's funny, I don't like eating
eggs, but I like poems about them.
507
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,960
What was next? I think the diary's
clear now.
508
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,320
Yes.
509
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,800
{\an8}Alison?
510
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,800
{\an8}They're coming back!
511
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:50,120
Awww! It worked!
512
00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:52,520
Looks like it. Yes!
513
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:53,680
Thanks, guys.
514
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:55,400
No problem.
You're welcome.
515
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:58,760
Sometimes, all it takes
is a little bit of connection.
516
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,360
Isn't that right, Julian?
517
00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:03,320
Took the words
right out of my mouth.
518
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:08,520
Hello! Anniversary is back on!
519
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:12,000
Everybody, come quick!
520
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:17,560
Five stars, here we come.
521
00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:25,720
Scientists
have learnt a vast amount...
522
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:27,160
Oh! This again, is it?
523
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:28,600
I'm telling you, it's Hat!
524
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,720
The 3D modelling may have revealed
a picture
525
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:32,920
of what our mountain man
would have looked like,
526
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,080
but what else can
we learn about him?
527
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,080
How might he have sounded,
for example?
528
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:38,520
He would have been
very resonant
529
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,120
in the chest,
and using this model
530
00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:43,240
gives us a very good idea
of the vowel sounds
531
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,400
the vocal anatomy
could have produced.
532
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,480
Oh, that's very good!
533
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:54,320
He did have stupid voice.
534
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:57,560
Incredible to hear him almost
speaking to us across the millennia.
535
00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,960
And is there any significance to the
tool that was found with the body?
536
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,880
The edge-it! That's what I gave him!
I told you!
537
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:05,800
There's
some debate around this.
538
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:07,560
Perhaps it was
something ceremonial.
539
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,240
Or perhaps it was a practical tool
for opening hard shells.
540
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:13,560
Yeah! It was a tool for taking furs
off of idiots.
541
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,680
We do know this was a ritualistic
society, as is evidenced
542
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,120
by the tattoo on his back.
543
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:20,080
Yes! In your face!
544
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,440
Well, I never! My goodness!
545
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,040
Well, clearly we owe you
an apology, Robin.
546
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:26,680
Well...
547
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,920
...I guess so.
548
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,960
But one thing
the experts agree on
549
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,240
is that the cause of death
was likely hypothermia.
550
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,440
If this man had been wearing
the kind of furs
551
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,680
you would expect of this time,
he would have been well protected.
552
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,040
Those, of course, would have
been preserved with him,
553
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:46,240
so we can only speculate as to why
he was out here without his furs.
554
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:47,720
Poor man.
555
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:51,200
It would have been a...
...cold, lonely death.
556
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:56,080
You know, actually,
I don't think it is this guy.
557
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:57,520
That's not Hat. No.
558
00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:59,960
Yeah, he had a very different
tattoo, now I think about it.
559
00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:01,920
It was more like a little cross
than an X.
560
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:03,520
I don't know who this guy is.
561
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,440
I think we should watch
The Wire.
562
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,760
I want to watch The Wire.
Anyone?
563
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:12,480
Hmm...
564
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:22,440
Hmm! A review.
565
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:28,120
"Lovely house. Pleasant stay.
Wi-Fi was patchy. Three stars."
566
00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:30,000
Ohhh, for fu...
567
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,120
Morning! Hey...
568
00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:37,280
What are you doing here?
569
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:38,840
I wanted to hear some more about
570
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:42,200
Lord Brigadier Sir Anthony
Bartholomew Raisinby Jones.
571
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,880
Really?
572
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,320
Oh! Excellent.
573
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:47,040
Well, erm, fascinating chap, really.
574
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:48,600
Yeah, I met him at headquarters.
575
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,400
He went on to Africa,
I think...
576
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,560
He really got in amongst it.
Really?
40207
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