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1
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? It seems today that all you see ?
2
00:00:04,897 --> 00:00:07,840
? Is violence in movies and sex on TV ?
3
00:00:07,991 --> 00:00:11,826
? But where are those ?
? Good old-fashioned values ?
4
00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:14,179
? On which we used to rely? ?
5
00:00:14,331 --> 00:00:17,683
? Lucky there's a family guy ?
6
00:00:17,834 --> 00:00:21,336
? Lucky there's a man ?
? Who positively can do ?
7
00:00:21,361 --> 00:00:23,057
? All the things that make us ?
8
00:00:23,082 --> 00:00:24,248
? Laugh and cry ?
9
00:00:24,266 --> 00:00:30,154
? He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ?
10
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- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
11
00:00:37,054 --> 00:00:40,127
"Hey, guys, home with groceries.
12
00:00:40,152 --> 00:00:42,743
Could use a hand unloading."
13
00:00:42,768 --> 00:00:44,117
And send.
14
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:47,437
Now I wait for them to come out
to help their dear old mom.
15
00:00:47,456 --> 00:00:50,146
Do it yourself!
16
00:00:59,118 --> 00:01:01,226
Hi, sad lady.
17
00:01:01,378 --> 00:01:03,970
Junior, our dinner talk stays inside.
18
00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:06,123
Hi, normal lady.
19
00:01:06,141 --> 00:01:08,625
What are you guys doing? It's Sunday.
20
00:01:08,644 --> 00:01:12,629
I thought husbands had to watch
football all day or they get cancer.
21
00:01:12,722 --> 00:01:14,359
Today's our family fun day.
22
00:01:14,384 --> 00:01:18,412
That's right, a whole day
dedicated to family and fun,
23
00:01:18,437 --> 00:01:20,320
ending in the bedroom
with what I hope will be
24
00:01:20,465 --> 00:01:22,452
some back-end participation.
25
00:01:22,477 --> 00:01:24,385
- Hmm?
- Mm-mm.
26
00:01:28,748 --> 00:01:30,909
I am so tired of this family
27
00:01:30,934 --> 00:01:33,010
just sitting around and doing nothing.
28
00:01:33,035 --> 00:01:36,230
The Browns are outside having
fun while we're in here loafing around
29
00:01:36,250 --> 00:01:37,974
like a bunch of stupid potatoes.
30
00:01:38,143 --> 00:01:41,494
Mom, I've been anonymously
cyberbullied for a decade.
31
00:01:41,571 --> 00:01:43,980
"Stupid potato" doesn't even
leave a mark.
32
00:01:44,073 --> 00:01:47,484
We need to spend some quality
time together like the Browns.
33
00:01:47,502 --> 00:01:49,594
So we're doing a family fun day.
34
00:01:49,746 --> 00:01:51,913
Oh, family-free fun day sounds great.
35
00:01:51,932 --> 00:01:53,765
No, family fun day.
36
00:01:53,790 --> 00:01:55,148
Yeah, family-free fun day.
37
00:01:55,173 --> 00:01:58,750
No, Peter. Family. Fun. Day.
38
00:02:00,041 --> 00:02:02,649
Yeah, I'm already at The Clam. Have fun.
39
00:02:06,447 --> 00:02:09,931
All right, nothing's more fun
than a family card game.
40
00:02:09,950 --> 00:02:11,616
Now, the game is euchre.
41
00:02:11,693 --> 00:02:16,121
"Begin by separating the nines,
tens, face cards and aces
42
00:02:16,146 --> 00:02:17,433
"from the rest of the deck.
43
00:02:17,458 --> 00:02:20,517
"The goal is to win at least
three 'tricks.'
44
00:02:20,610 --> 00:02:22,686
"Now, if the side that fixed
the trump fails
45
00:02:22,704 --> 00:02:25,464
"to get three tricks,
it is said to be 'euchred.'
46
00:02:25,691 --> 00:02:28,875
"The highest trump is the jack
of the trump suit,
47
00:02:29,044 --> 00:02:30,802
"called the 'right bower.'
48
00:02:30,954 --> 00:02:33,972
"Partnership-making trump wins
three or four tricks
49
00:02:33,997 --> 00:02:35,509
"and earns one point.
50
00:02:35,534 --> 00:02:37,976
"Lone hand wins three or four tricks,
51
00:02:38,001 --> 00:02:40,168
"also earns one point.
52
00:02:40,463 --> 00:02:43,315
"However, a lone hand wins five tricks,
53
00:02:43,484 --> 00:02:45,299
"that's worth four points.
54
00:02:45,393 --> 00:02:49,562
Many euchre games are scored
by rubber points, as in whist."
55
00:02:49,715 --> 00:02:52,640
Ooh, ooh. "The first side
to win two games"
56
00:02:52,734 --> 00:02:55,309
"wins the rubber."
57
00:02:55,329 --> 00:02:58,054
"The dealer has the right to exchange
58
00:02:58,079 --> 00:02:59,533
any turned-up card..."
59
00:02:59,558 --> 00:03:01,407
Oh, my God, it's the same.
60
00:03:01,432 --> 00:03:03,479
"If the face-up card is a jack,
61
00:03:03,504 --> 00:03:05,205
"it's considered bad luck for..."
62
00:03:05,230 --> 00:03:08,581
"After two rounds, if no
trump suit has been declared
63
00:03:08,734 --> 00:03:11,038
"and the 'stick-the-dealer' rule
is not in effect,
64
00:03:11,063 --> 00:03:13,822
then the cards are collected
and reshuffled."
65
00:03:13,847 --> 00:03:16,163
Family Guy is
brought to you by contract bridge.
66
00:03:16,183 --> 00:03:17,679
Way simpler than euchre.
67
00:03:17,704 --> 00:03:20,721
You see, in contract bridge,
each player is dealt 13 cards
68
00:03:20,746 --> 00:03:22,579
from a standard 52-card deck.
69
00:03:22,597 --> 00:03:24,171
A trick starts when a player leads,
70
00:03:24,266 --> 00:03:26,007
i.e. plays the first card.
71
00:03:26,026 --> 00:03:29,444
The leader to the first trick
is determined by the auction.
72
00:03:32,348 --> 00:03:33,757
So, what do you think, gang?
73
00:03:33,775 --> 00:03:36,109
I thought it could be
a fun family activity
74
00:03:36,278 --> 00:03:38,111
if we had a make-your-own-pizza night.
75
00:03:38,263 --> 00:03:39,612
Or we could order Domino's.
76
00:03:39,637 --> 00:03:41,970
No, come on, this'll be fun.
77
00:03:41,995 --> 00:03:43,668
Everyone gets their own crust,
78
00:03:43,693 --> 00:03:47,453
and you can choose from any
of the items I put out, huh?
79
00:03:47,606 --> 00:03:51,441
It could be olives, it could be peppers.
80
00:03:51,459 --> 00:03:54,886
And for the risk takers, I even
put out some pineapple.
81
00:03:55,038 --> 00:03:58,147
You can put anything you want
on your pizza.
82
00:03:58,149 --> 00:04:01,801
Yeah, I'm putting a Domino's
pizza on my pizza.
83
00:04:01,953 --> 00:04:05,939
Domino's... we're both
terrible and better than your pizza.
84
00:04:10,128 --> 00:04:12,645
Ah, this is nice, huh?
85
00:04:12,722 --> 00:04:14,964
Oh, it's so good to get the whole family
86
00:04:14,983 --> 00:04:18,301
out of the house and see Quahog
from a different perspective.
87
00:04:18,436 --> 00:04:20,136
It's a little tight.
88
00:04:21,251 --> 00:04:23,473
So, how'd you get
into hot-air ballooning?
89
00:04:23,475 --> 00:04:25,475
They don't do background checks.
90
00:04:25,568 --> 00:04:29,254
Oh. What are we flying over now?
91
00:04:29,405 --> 00:04:30,738
My ex-wife's house.
92
00:04:30,832 --> 00:04:34,484
If you have any garbage
or little bags of cat poo,
93
00:04:34,577 --> 00:04:36,410
you can drop them now.
94
00:04:37,598 --> 00:04:40,954
Did you know restraining orders
only go side to side?
95
00:04:40,979 --> 00:04:43,322
They don't go up and down.
96
00:04:45,974 --> 00:04:48,475
Well, there's got to be
one thing we can all
97
00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:50,221
enjoy together as a family.
98
00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:51,835
You know, I think we're trying too hard.
99
00:04:51,837 --> 00:04:53,594
When I was a kid we did movie nights,
100
00:04:53,614 --> 00:04:56,005
and it was the Holy Grail of family fun.
101
00:04:56,099 --> 00:04:58,508
- I'd watch a movie
- I'd watch a porn movie.
102
00:04:58,526 --> 00:04:59,951
No, a family movie.
103
00:04:59,976 --> 00:05:01,763
I'd watch a MILF porn movie.
104
00:05:01,788 --> 00:05:04,289
Okay, technically
that's accurate, but no porn.
105
00:05:04,516 --> 00:05:07,183
All right, let's fire up
Amazon or Netflix.
106
00:05:07,202 --> 00:05:09,944
No streaming services.
They've ruined how we watch movies.
107
00:05:09,963 --> 00:05:12,355
I'm talking about
an old-school movie night
108
00:05:12,448 --> 00:05:14,281
where we rent one from Blockbuster.
109
00:05:14,376 --> 00:05:16,693
Some of my best
childhood memories were when
110
00:05:16,711 --> 00:05:18,528
I went to rent a video with my dad.
111
00:05:18,621 --> 00:05:20,029
Him and I never really got along,
112
00:05:20,048 --> 00:05:22,641
but the one place where we did
was Blockbuster.
113
00:05:22,792 --> 00:05:25,034
He'd let me pick out any snack I wanted
114
00:05:25,036 --> 00:05:27,292
while he grabbed our fifth-choice movie
115
00:05:27,317 --> 00:05:28,963
because we got there too late
to get the good ones.
116
00:05:28,982 --> 00:05:31,632
But that was part of it,
because it wasn't about the movie,
117
00:05:31,652 --> 00:05:33,710
it was about the night
you spent together.
118
00:05:33,728 --> 00:05:35,979
I think renting a movie's a great idea.
119
00:05:36,004 --> 00:05:37,014
Let's do it.
120
00:05:37,048 --> 00:05:38,139
So it's settled.
121
00:05:38,233 --> 00:05:40,659
The Griffins are making it
a Blockbuster night.
122
00:05:40,810 --> 00:05:43,672
When we get there,
I'll give you 20 bucks to say,
123
00:05:43,697 --> 00:05:46,299
"I've heard Magic Mike is good."
124
00:05:50,395 --> 00:05:53,154
Huh. This used to be the Blockbuster.
125
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:55,375
Oh, man, it's gone.
126
00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:56,675
Were you also looking for...
127
00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:58,401
Very tall prostitute, yes.
128
00:05:58,420 --> 00:05:59,736
Is that what you were going to say?
129
00:05:59,829 --> 00:06:02,347
She used to hang out here...
Hands like a palm leaf.
130
00:06:02,516 --> 00:06:05,666
She would do sex but also help
with light bulbs and stuff.
131
00:06:05,686 --> 00:06:08,353
I think her name was Phillip.
132
00:06:08,504 --> 00:06:11,278
I see some of my students in your car.
133
00:06:11,303 --> 00:06:13,070
That's good for me.
134
00:06:13,768 --> 00:06:16,436
I'm sure there's one still open.
I'll just google it.
135
00:06:16,588 --> 00:06:19,923
Eh, I got to type in my code
'cause I got too fat
136
00:06:20,016 --> 00:06:23,034
- for the facial recognition to work.
- Brutal.
137
00:06:23,186 --> 00:06:25,094
Oh, good. See? There is one still open.
138
00:06:25,113 --> 00:06:27,847
Drive north for a quarter of a mile,
139
00:06:27,872 --> 00:06:30,076
then turn left onto Highway 20.
140
00:06:30,101 --> 00:06:33,286
Continue straight for 2,980 miles.
141
00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:34,741
- What?!
- Oh, yeah.
142
00:06:34,766 --> 00:06:37,941
The last Blockbuster in existence
is in Bend, Oregon.
143
00:06:38,034 --> 00:06:40,701
Did I not say that? Strap in, everybody,
144
00:06:40,721 --> 00:06:43,054
the Griffins are going on a road trip.
145
00:06:43,281 --> 00:06:46,040
Well, it looks like the family Griffin
146
00:06:46,059 --> 00:06:49,936
is headed off down Holiday Road.
147
00:06:54,735 --> 00:06:58,552
And Lindsey Buckingham has said no.
148
00:06:58,572 --> 00:07:00,146
Well, that's all right.
149
00:07:00,298 --> 00:07:02,223
I reckon, if you're a man named Lindsey,
150
00:07:02,350 --> 00:07:05,489
you don't get to call
the shots very often.
151
00:07:10,687 --> 00:07:12,261
Peter, this is crazy.
152
00:07:12,286 --> 00:07:15,402
We can't drive 3,000 miles
just to rent a movie.
153
00:07:15,422 --> 00:07:16,964
Would you please turn around?
154
00:07:16,989 --> 00:07:19,178
Lois, the whole family fun thing
was your idea.
155
00:07:19,203 --> 00:07:21,370
Don't get mad at me
'cause I'm following through.
156
00:07:21,395 --> 00:07:23,986
But I only have one pair of underwear.
157
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:26,604
Oh, that's not a problem. I got tons of
women's underwear in the back.
158
00:07:26,629 --> 00:07:28,824
Why, why do you have that?
159
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:30,045
Tons of it.
160
00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:32,161
Don't we have a say in all this, Dad?
161
00:07:32,181 --> 00:07:34,014
Yeah, we don't want to drive
all the way to Oregon.
162
00:07:34,165 --> 00:07:35,682
Aw, it's gonna be fun, guys.
163
00:07:35,707 --> 00:07:38,243
We're gonna see the whole country,
like we're in one of those
164
00:07:38,261 --> 00:07:40,412
Bruce Springsteen Jeep commercials.
165
00:07:40,580 --> 00:07:43,415
America is made up of a lot of states.
166
00:07:43,508 --> 00:07:46,751
Some of them really stink,
but some of them don't stink.
167
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,844
So buy a Jeep.
168
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:51,536
They flip easy, but you'll be okay.
169
00:07:51,561 --> 00:07:53,369
Probably be okay.
170
00:07:55,353 --> 00:07:57,776
One of the perks of a cross-country trip
171
00:07:57,801 --> 00:08:00,409
is stopping for a meal
and meeting the friendly folks
172
00:08:00,434 --> 00:08:03,601
who make up the heart and soul
of our country.
173
00:08:03,695 --> 00:08:05,695
Hello, we're from the Northeast.
174
00:08:11,553 --> 00:08:12,719
Okay, then.
175
00:08:12,744 --> 00:08:16,379
We'll do 55 pancakes to go.
176
00:08:18,727 --> 00:08:20,936
Trump!
177
00:08:21,771 --> 00:08:23,655
- Trump!
- Trump!
178
00:08:24,882 --> 00:08:26,382
- Trump.
- Trump.
179
00:08:26,476 --> 00:08:28,460
- Trump!
- Trump!
180
00:08:28,478 --> 00:08:29,736
- Trump! Trump!
- Trump!
181
00:08:29,761 --> 00:08:31,428
- Trump!
- Trump!
182
00:08:31,453 --> 00:08:32,941
- Trump!
- Trump!
183
00:08:38,062 --> 00:08:40,805
- Trump!
- Trump!
184
00:08:49,741 --> 00:08:52,000
I'm not getting any service.
185
00:08:52,025 --> 00:08:53,628
- Where are we?
- Hey, I don't know.
186
00:08:53,653 --> 00:08:56,263
But we can figure it out
by which radio stations come in.
187
00:08:58,174 --> 00:09:01,601
You're listening to G-U-N-S AM radio.
188
00:09:01,828 --> 00:09:03,995
All guns all the time.
189
00:09:04,088 --> 00:09:05,997
Is the caller there?
190
00:09:06,016 --> 00:09:07,849
Ha, ha, I couldn't agree more.
191
00:09:08,001 --> 00:09:10,852
Sounds like we're somewhere
between Washington and Washington.
192
00:09:11,004 --> 00:09:13,338
Well, we got to almost be there, right?
193
00:09:13,363 --> 00:09:15,778
A few more hours.
Trust me, it'll all be worth it
194
00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:17,525
once we walk into that store.
195
00:09:17,602 --> 00:09:20,770
Plus, I'll be able to finally return
this copy of Ladyhawke.
196
00:09:20,789 --> 00:09:23,549
You remembered to rewind that, right?
197
00:09:37,472 --> 00:09:39,697
You know what I'm thinking, Peter?
198
00:09:39,791 --> 00:09:41,716
Instead of going to Blockbuster,
we drive right into
199
00:09:41,810 --> 00:09:43,476
the first pond we see.
200
00:09:43,501 --> 00:09:45,351
It'll be a quicker death than this trip.
201
00:09:45,630 --> 00:09:48,189
Guys, look.
202
00:09:51,061 --> 00:09:54,045
Ah! Oh, my God, it's real.
203
00:09:54,138 --> 00:09:55,905
We made it.
204
00:09:59,402 --> 00:10:01,840
Well, I suppose I should be
the responsible one
205
00:10:01,865 --> 00:10:03,916
and release all the car farts.
206
00:10:05,483 --> 00:10:08,242
You're free now. Go.
207
00:10:12,674 --> 00:10:14,248
I said go!
208
00:10:28,190 --> 00:10:29,581
Here it is, guys.
209
00:10:29,583 --> 00:10:32,007
This is where kids would come
every Friday night
210
00:10:32,027 --> 00:10:33,918
and see their teacher wearing jeans.
211
00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:37,012
Dad, who's Christian Slater?
212
00:10:37,032 --> 00:10:40,200
Some actors never made it
out of Blockbuster, Chris.
213
00:10:43,863 --> 00:10:45,665
Sliver. Fun movie.
214
00:10:45,690 --> 00:10:49,250
Yeah, it's Sharon Stone, so it's nudity
moms will put up with.
215
00:10:50,937 --> 00:10:54,105
Hmm, it looks like you have
a late fee for Ladyhawke.
216
00:10:54,198 --> 00:10:56,532
Ah, no problem. How much is it?
217
00:10:56,626 --> 00:11:00,445
$32,419.
218
00:11:00,463 --> 00:11:03,890
Look, uh, we traveled
a really long way to get here,
219
00:11:04,041 --> 00:11:06,375
and I kind of promised
my family a movie night.
220
00:11:06,395 --> 00:11:09,137
Oh. Then the plot just got interesting.
221
00:11:09,289 --> 00:11:10,897
Where are you on your journey?
222
00:11:11,124 --> 00:11:12,399
About the end of act two?
223
00:11:12,550 --> 00:11:14,564
I read a lot of screenplay books.
224
00:11:14,589 --> 00:11:16,605
There's got to be some way
we can work this out.
225
00:11:16,630 --> 00:11:19,579
Sorry, but we're pretty strict
about our late fees.
226
00:11:19,604 --> 00:11:22,242
We kind of blew up our
whole company for 'em.
227
00:11:22,393 --> 00:11:24,469
So, no money, no rental.
228
00:11:24,471 --> 00:11:26,471
Uh, $32,000, you say?
229
00:11:26,489 --> 00:11:29,791
I don't have that on my person.
230
00:11:32,328 --> 00:11:36,497
? Hands ?
231
00:11:36,591 --> 00:11:40,652
? Touching hands ?
232
00:11:40,745 --> 00:11:43,221
? Reaching out ?
233
00:11:44,658 --> 00:11:46,749
? Touching me ?
234
00:11:46,768 --> 00:11:48,009
? Touching you. ?
235
00:11:48,161 --> 00:11:50,770
Ah, here it comes. All together now...
236
00:11:50,922 --> 00:11:53,164
Drive, Lois, drive!
237
00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:01,612
Nothing worse than a case
of Neil Diamond blue balls. Am I right?
238
00:12:10,366 --> 00:12:11,774
Peter, just pull over.
239
00:12:11,793 --> 00:12:13,851
We can talk to them and figure this out.
240
00:12:13,870 --> 00:12:16,037
No. A high-speed chase is preferred
241
00:12:16,189 --> 00:12:18,873
over small talk with an employee. Aah!
242
00:12:19,025 --> 00:12:20,950
I hear Magic Mike is good.
243
00:12:21,027 --> 00:12:23,194
Way too late, dude.
244
00:12:25,474 --> 00:12:26,910
I can lose these guys.
245
00:12:26,935 --> 00:12:29,194
Chris, pour me out a handful
of those Runts.
246
00:12:29,219 --> 00:12:31,460
How's eating candy gonna help us?
247
00:12:31,554 --> 00:12:33,721
Runts are the hardest candy
in the world.
248
00:12:33,873 --> 00:12:36,191
They're not for eating,
they're for hucking.
249
00:12:40,213 --> 00:12:42,137
Meg, there's a stack of posters
in the back.
250
00:12:42,232 --> 00:12:44,398
We can throw 'em out the car
and blind 'em.
251
00:12:44,493 --> 00:12:46,141
Just run the posters by me first.
252
00:12:46,161 --> 00:12:47,643
- Judge Dredd?
- Nah, keep that one.
253
00:12:47,662 --> 00:12:48,886
I want to put it in the basement.
254
00:12:48,905 --> 00:12:50,054
- Cool World?
- Keep.
255
00:12:50,147 --> 00:12:51,899
- Milk Money?
- Uh, keep.
256
00:12:51,924 --> 00:12:55,176
These are all terrible movies.
Just throw one out.
257
00:12:57,230 --> 00:12:58,671
You know, that movie still holds up.
258
00:12:58,823 --> 00:13:00,340
It didn't hold up then.
259
00:13:03,845 --> 00:13:06,358
It worked. We lost them.
260
00:13:06,383 --> 00:13:09,976
Yes! No one ruins
a Griffin family fun day.
261
00:13:10,128 --> 00:13:11,978
Who wants a turnaround high five?
262
00:13:12,003 --> 00:13:13,186
Dad, watch the road!
263
00:13:18,693 --> 00:13:21,176
Is everyone okay?
264
00:13:21,271 --> 00:13:22,829
I swallowed my retainer,
265
00:13:22,854 --> 00:13:25,256
but I'll do a little
stool fishing later.
266
00:13:29,929 --> 00:13:31,955
Oh, they're still after us.
We got to run.
267
00:13:44,611 --> 00:13:46,794
Give up. We got you. It's over.
268
00:13:46,888 --> 00:13:48,923
Well, actually it's not.
269
00:13:48,948 --> 00:13:51,799
I think this might be
the "all is lost" moment.
270
00:13:51,893 --> 00:13:54,485
- What?
- You know, it seems over
271
00:13:54,510 --> 00:13:56,287
because there's an
insurmountable obstacle
272
00:13:56,380 --> 00:13:59,191
in their way, but instead of giving up,
they double down.
273
00:13:59,216 --> 00:14:01,401
- Lois, we got to jump.
- See?
274
00:14:01,426 --> 00:14:02,906
The fall will kill us.
275
00:14:02,931 --> 00:14:05,024
I've seen Rambo jump from higher.
276
00:14:05,049 --> 00:14:07,366
I think if we jump
it'll cut to that scene.
277
00:14:07,391 --> 00:14:08,876
Peter, that's crazy.
278
00:14:08,901 --> 00:14:09,924
Do you trust me?
279
00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:11,049
No!
280
00:14:24,259 --> 00:14:26,334
Oh, what the hell?
281
00:14:40,758 --> 00:14:42,275
- I told you.
- I know.
282
00:14:42,426 --> 00:14:45,594
Peter Griffin, PhD. Petty, heavy dope.
283
00:14:45,721 --> 00:14:47,614
Wow, she really had that
locked and loaded.
284
00:14:47,765 --> 00:14:49,431
This is crazy.
Those guys are trying to kill us
285
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:50,910
because of a late movie.
286
00:14:50,935 --> 00:14:52,280
We should just call the police.
287
00:14:52,305 --> 00:14:54,021
Oh, look who's already walking back
288
00:14:54,046 --> 00:14:55,922
their "Defund the Police" stance.
289
00:14:55,947 --> 00:14:57,100
Little different when it's real life
290
00:14:57,125 --> 00:15:00,360
and not trying to impress
Alyssa Milano on Twitter. Hmm?
291
00:15:00,385 --> 00:15:03,049
Oh, this is not good.
It's gonna get dark soon.
292
00:15:03,074 --> 00:15:04,499
- We need a plan.
- Don't worry.
293
00:15:04,524 --> 00:15:07,162
We can hike back to the car
and call for help from the road.
294
00:15:07,187 --> 00:15:08,503
We're gonna get through this.
295
00:15:08,528 --> 00:15:10,953
Now, before we head off,
I'm gonna divvy out our rations.
296
00:15:10,972 --> 00:15:12,955
I'll start with this pack of Starbursts.
297
00:15:13,049 --> 00:15:16,309
There's pink for you,
orange for you, red for me,
298
00:15:16,460 --> 00:15:20,129
yellow for you, pink for you,
red for me...
299
00:15:20,148 --> 00:15:22,039
You keep giving yourself all the reds.
300
00:15:22,058 --> 00:15:23,966
It's just completely random.
I'm just going in order.
301
00:15:23,985 --> 00:15:25,501
I can't help where I'm standing.
302
00:15:25,526 --> 00:15:27,378
Okay, where was I? Yellow for Chris,
303
00:15:27,397 --> 00:15:29,727
- red for me...
- You did it again.
304
00:15:29,752 --> 00:15:31,501
Okay, y-you know, I tried being fair,
305
00:15:31,526 --> 00:15:33,384
but now I'm just gonna
lick all the reds.
306
00:15:33,477 --> 00:15:36,768
Now they have to be mine.
Next food... Spree.
307
00:15:36,793 --> 00:15:40,562
Green for you, orange for you,
red for me!
308
00:15:47,452 --> 00:15:48,877
I think we're lost.
309
00:15:48,902 --> 00:15:50,614
We're gonna die out here.
310
00:15:50,639 --> 00:15:52,230
Guys, we can't give up now.
311
00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:54,485
We can and I shall.
312
00:15:54,510 --> 00:15:57,313
I'm gonna close my eyes
and go to my happy place,
313
00:15:57,338 --> 00:16:00,335
being screamed at by children
while playing Fortnite.
314
00:16:00,355 --> 00:16:03,338
No, your mom's a whore.
315
00:16:03,358 --> 00:16:05,306
Wait, guys, look.
316
00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:07,999
I think I see a cabin.
317
00:16:10,940 --> 00:16:14,430
It is a cabin. We're saved.
318
00:16:14,455 --> 00:16:16,896
You can't say that word, Brayden.
319
00:16:16,921 --> 00:16:19,338
None of you can say that word.
320
00:16:26,940 --> 00:16:28,622
Look, there's a radio. We can...
321
00:16:28,775 --> 00:16:31,040
Watch Sliver on that VCR.
322
00:16:31,065 --> 00:16:33,330
What? No. We need to call for help.
323
00:16:33,355 --> 00:16:34,446
We can do both.
324
00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:36,554
I am not gonna give up
on this movie night
325
00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:38,320
like we gave up on our marriage.
326
00:16:38,397 --> 00:16:40,898
Four therapy sessions is enough
to know where it's headed.
327
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,643
There's a map on the wall
with government buildings
328
00:16:43,661 --> 00:16:45,269
connected by strings.
329
00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:47,905
Look, I know this hasn't been
the easiest couple of days, guys,
330
00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:50,574
but it'll all be worth it
once I put this tape in.
331
00:16:50,668 --> 00:16:53,294
I present to you Sliver.
332
00:16:53,319 --> 00:16:55,286
And it's Sliders, season two.
333
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:58,015
Classic Blockbuster blunder.
334
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:03,077
Oh, good. You numbskulls put
the wrong movie in here.
335
00:17:03,102 --> 00:17:04,175
I want a refund.
336
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,108
Everybody outside now.
337
00:17:06,334 --> 00:17:07,591
I can't believe this.
338
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,760
All I was trying to do was
have a nice movie night
339
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:12,505
with my family, and you guys
keep ruining it.
340
00:17:12,523 --> 00:17:15,766
Wow, this is very similar
to a screenplay I wrote.
341
00:17:15,791 --> 00:17:18,369
This guy is too into movies.
342
00:17:18,394 --> 00:17:20,173
Remember, the one I had you read
343
00:17:20,198 --> 00:17:22,729
that was like Love Actually
meets Independence Day?
344
00:17:22,754 --> 00:17:25,127
Uh, yeah, sure, I remember.
345
00:17:25,152 --> 00:17:27,152
- You didn't read it?
- I'm gonna.
346
00:17:27,177 --> 00:17:30,420
Don't be mad at me.
Be mad at, you know, these guys.
347
00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:33,209
I'm sorry, kids, all I wanted to do
348
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:35,136
was something special with you guys.
349
00:17:35,161 --> 00:17:37,356
That one thing you'd remember
doing with me
350
00:17:37,381 --> 00:17:39,882
for the rest of your lives,
but I failed.
351
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:43,219
Another failure in
a long string of failures.
352
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:44,720
Are you kidding, Dad?
353
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:46,924
This has been the
most exciting day ever.
354
00:17:46,949 --> 00:17:48,017
It has?
355
00:17:48,042 --> 00:17:51,560
Yeah. We left the house
three days ago to rent a movie
356
00:17:51,585 --> 00:17:53,948
and now we're in the middle
of the woods in Oregon
357
00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:56,324
and might get murdered
by Blockbuster guys.
358
00:17:56,475 --> 00:17:57,992
Like, what is this?
359
00:17:58,069 --> 00:18:00,328
Yeah, we never know
what you're gonna do.
360
00:18:00,353 --> 00:18:02,520
It's usually silly or dangerous,
361
00:18:02,545 --> 00:18:04,453
but it's also kind of awesome.
362
00:18:04,478 --> 00:18:06,537
Yeah. Remember when he had tiny arms
363
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:09,337
- for, like, three months?
- Or when he brought home that horse.
364
00:18:09,362 --> 00:18:11,845
Or that falcon. Or that parrot.
365
00:18:12,066 --> 00:18:13,824
Lot of illegal animals.
366
00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:16,418
Or when that little guy
lived in his neck.
367
00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:18,404
What the hell was that?
368
00:18:18,422 --> 00:18:20,497
Every few years
he fights a giant chicken
369
00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:21,642
and destroys a city.
370
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:23,667
No one's named a good thing yet.
371
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:26,078
You had a blimp with your face on it.
372
00:18:26,097 --> 00:18:28,597
Your mother put me on pills
after I bought that.
373
00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:32,601
You see, Dad, we don't need a
movie night for us to remember you.
374
00:18:32,754 --> 00:18:35,738
Every day is like
a movie night with you.
375
00:18:39,594 --> 00:18:41,761
Well, I guess Mom knew
what she was doing
376
00:18:41,779 --> 00:18:44,446
when she insisted on family fun day.
377
00:18:44,615 --> 00:18:46,932
Super sweet moment, guys.
378
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:50,545
I'm gonna assume this was all a callback
to something in act one.
379
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:53,923
Time to go outside now.
380
00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:59,720
Guys, please, I'm the one
with the late fees.
381
00:18:59,745 --> 00:19:02,258
Don't hurt my family. I'll do anything.
382
00:19:02,283 --> 00:19:05,467
Well, I have this screenplay,
it-it's an epic sci-fi,
383
00:19:05,492 --> 00:19:08,039
and it's mostly stage directions
where they...
384
00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:09,105
Just kill us!
385
00:19:11,459 --> 00:19:13,526
What the hell?!
386
00:19:30,161 --> 00:19:32,920
Amazon drones? You saved us.
387
00:19:33,113 --> 00:19:37,592
Once again a streaming service
annihilates a Blockbuster.
388
00:19:37,617 --> 00:19:38,795
Wa-boosh.
389
00:19:38,820 --> 00:19:41,003
How did you even know we were here?
390
00:19:41,155 --> 00:19:44,673
Based on your recent purchases,
viewing habits and stored data,
391
00:19:44,826 --> 00:19:46,434
we determined that you were being chased
392
00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:48,251
through the wilderness by the last two
393
00:19:48,276 --> 00:19:50,109
Blockbuster employees on Earth.
394
00:19:50,134 --> 00:19:51,467
Wow. Scary.
395
00:19:51,492 --> 00:19:53,751
I owe you an apology, Amazon.
396
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:56,352
You're a pretty amazing service
after all.
397
00:19:56,504 --> 00:20:00,522
Yes, I agree. Amazon
workers should not unionize.
398
00:20:00,675 --> 00:20:01,984
I-I didn't... I didn't say that.
399
00:20:02,009 --> 00:20:04,360
Well, they sure can play dumb
when they want to.
400
00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:06,369
Please stop spying on us, Alexa.
401
00:20:06,394 --> 00:20:08,766
Okay. Playing holiday music now.
402
00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:12,627
? And since we've no place to go ?
403
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:16,505
? Let it snow, let it ?
? Snow, let it snow ?
404
00:20:21,972 --> 00:20:24,851
Well, that Blockbuster adventure
sure was fun,
405
00:20:24,876 --> 00:20:27,624
but we should probably just watch movies
at home from now on.
406
00:20:27,649 --> 00:20:29,223
You know, Dad,
while we were flying home,
407
00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:32,054
I did order something special for you.
408
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:35,465
Sliver! We can still do
our old-school movie night.
409
00:20:35,485 --> 00:20:36,984
I'll hook up the VCR.
410
00:20:39,213 --> 00:20:40,821
Aw, damn it, we can't watch it.
411
00:20:40,846 --> 00:20:42,369
I don't have the right adaptor cable.
412
00:20:42,394 --> 00:20:47,219
The last Circuit City in the U.S.
is in St. Augustine, Florida.
413
00:20:47,238 --> 00:20:50,556
Let's go.
414
00:20:50,581 --> 00:20:51,862
I'll start the car.
415
00:20:51,887 --> 00:20:54,871
Looks like the Griffins are at it again.
416
00:20:54,896 --> 00:20:58,230
Hi, I'm Jeff Bezos,
and I'm rich and bald.
417
00:20:58,323 --> 00:21:01,050
Guess which one matters. Good night.
418
00:21:01,075 --> 00:21:05,075
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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