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1
00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:48,357
Thank you so much for joining me.
It was most kind.
2
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:50,118
I'm enjoying myself.
3
00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:54,040
You know, that big house,
it can get very lonely.
4
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:55,991
Yes, I remember.
5
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,554
But here, all is bustle
and cheerfulness.
6
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,433
- We must come again.
- I'm so glad you like it.
7
00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:03,232
It was an old coaching inn,
8
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:07,433
where they used to change the horses
on the London to Land's End road.
9
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:11,758
- They went all that way by coach?
- Yes. You can see how it used to be.
10
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:16,951
Oh-ho, how glad I am
to live in the age of the motorcar.
11
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,355
What would we do without it
in the country?
12
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,437
Specially you. You are so busy.
13
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:23,630
Yes, I'd be lost without my Rolls.
14
00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:27,913
The meals on wheels, the parish work,
Girl Guides, old people's club.
15
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,110
Oh, you have an old people's club?
16
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:32,470
- You should join.
- Really?
17
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,791
- Well...we need some younger people.
- Oh.
18
00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:40,117
Well, perhaps it might be amusing.
What do they do?
19
00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:43,391
Come in when we get back
and I'll give you a list of the events.
20
00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:47,035
Oh, you are so kind.
Always doing things for other people.
21
00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:50,516
It's what I was brought up to do.
It's my job, if you like.
22
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,870
We have a saying in old Czechoslovakia.
23
00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:56,311
"The willing horse is always tethered."
24
00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,873
- Ah. The bill.
- Oh, no, no.
25
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:03,117
- I said this was fo be my treat.
- No, I couldn't think of it.
26
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,790
No, I insist. Bedrich's firm will pay.
27
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:08,877
It's tax-deductible.
28
00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:12,639
Entertaining overseas customer.
29
00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:16,593
- Who's the overseas customer?
-lam.
30
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:22,713
I come from overseas
and I buy things at the supermarket,
31
00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,751
so I'm a customer.
32
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,320
Sometimes
I feel that my expensive education
33
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,398
did absolutely nothing
to fit me for this modern world.
34
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:43,912
There you are.
That's the way they used to travel.
35
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,520
Oh, it looks terribly uncomfortable.
36
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,120
Specially if you couldn't
get a seat inside.
37
00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:53,552
When they travelled on the outside
they covered themselves with straw.
38
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:56,831
Thank goodness
we don't have to travel like that.
39
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,791
Very well, John. Thank you.
40
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,071
Mm, this is the way to travel.
41
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:06,952
Yes. Very nice.
42
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:11,037
Well...if you want a car like this...
43
00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,356
You're matchmaking again, Mrs Poo.
44
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,391
Besides, I've got a car like this.
45
00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:19,149
- It's antique.
- Exactly. A valuable antique.
46
00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:24,312
Bit of a drag on the market,
these long-case clocks.
47
00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:26,954
It's worth hundreds
in sentimental value.
48
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,072
You can't sell anything
at its sentimental value.
49
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,358
Oh. Good afternoon, madam.
50
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:37,439
Good afternoon, Mr Anderson. I hope
Mr Brabinger's been looking after you.
51
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,198
Keeping an eye on me, more like.
52
00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:42,119
I do feel Mr Anderson
is undervaluing everything.
53
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,151
I'm sure he's only doing his job.
54
00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:47,830
Isn't that the estate agent
who sold us the manor?
55
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:49,553
Yes, that's right.
56
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:53,554
What about my bathroom doorknob?
57
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,036
- Doorknob?
- Comes off in your hand.
58
00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,833
Has done ever since we moved in.
59
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,599
And he wouldn't
knock a penny off the price.
60
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,639
You're...not selling things, are you?
61
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:12,709
Of course not. Mr Anderson's just doing
some...valuing for insurance purposes.
62
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,320
Now, er, the old people's club.
63
00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:19,436
Here we are. You see,
there's whist drives, bingo,
64
00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:22,552
beetle drives,
the old people's seaside outing.
65
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,638
If anything takes your fancy,
just ring the organiser.
66
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:28,354
- Who's that?
- Mrs Proctor. The number's there.
67
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:31,756
Thank you. You are so kind. I must fly.
68
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,791
Well, thank you for a lovely lunch.
69
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,229
And don't let him diddle you.
70
00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:39,831
Remember my doorknob.
71
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,397
Goodbye. Now, mind how you go.
72
00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:45,953
Bye again.
73
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,516
It's not selling.
We are merely realising our assets.
74
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,918
Thank you.
75
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:09,518
- Excuse me.
- Oh.
76
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,153
That's Great Uncle Gussie.
77
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:15,114
There's quite a market in family
portraits. It might fetch quite a lot.
78
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:19,358
With all his servants, itll be
the first time he ever fetched anything.
79
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:23,189
Americans hang them in their ranches
as their English ancestors.
80
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:26,596
- We can't allow that, madam.
- Oh, be brave, Brabinger.
81
00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:30,315
Great Uncle Gussie won't mind.
He always wanted to go to America.
82
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:39,231
(Whirring overhead)
83
00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:16,791
- (Knock on door)
- Yes?
84
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,677
- Can I come in?
- Of course.
85
00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:23,951
You should come
and see your poor old mother more often.
86
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,435
I never quite know
what you get up to in here.
87
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,596
This is my private room.
88
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:31,280
I can get up to what I like.
89
00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:34,199
Er, what is a...beetle drive?
90
00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:36,993
Er... Good Lord, I don't know.
91
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,636
What's the matter with you, Bedrich?
92
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:45,593
- I've got something to tell you.
- About Audrey?
93
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:50,510
No, it's not about Audrey.
Why d'you keep going on about Audrey?
94
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:53,791
- She thinks the world of you.
- How do you know?
95
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:57,390
- I had lunch with her today.
- Been matchmaking again, have you?
96
00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:01,354
It's got nothing to do with Audrey.
Come and look out of the window.
97
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,317
Oh. I heard it.
98
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:14,518
- Who's here?
- I am. I's mine.
99
00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:18,393
- That thing?
- I've just bought it.
100
00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:21,717
- What are you going to do with it?
- Learntofly it.
101
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:24,195
Oh, Bedrich,
you will be careful, won't you?
102
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:28,916
Of course, Mother. My instructor says
itll take me about a month to learn
103
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,759
- and then I'll take you up in it.
- Oh, not me.
104
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,553
In that case,
I'l... I'l just have to ask Audrey.
105
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:38,389
She will not appreciate
you showing off in that thing.
106
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:40,158
Shell love it.
107
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,238
It will only remind her
of what she has lost.
108
00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:46,591
I don't see why. She never had
anything like a helicopter.
109
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:50,190
- No, but she had a Rolls-Royce.
- Oh, the family heirloom.
110
00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:54,632
- Not any more.
- Why? You mean she's got rid of it?
111
00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:59,675
I have just seen that Anderson man
valuing her things.
112
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:01,916
She said it was for insurance,
113
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:06,955
but her car is not in the garage
so it must have been sold already.
114
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,996
How's she going to manage without a car?
115
00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,395
That's what I have been thinking.
116
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:16,399
Why don't you do something about it?
117
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:20,872
- You mean give her a car?
- You can afford it.
118
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,036
Yes, but I don't think she'd accept it.
119
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,310
- Why?
- Well, it's charity, you see.
120
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:29,118
Well, tell her
it's to help her in her work.
121
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,390
- What work?
- Charity work.
122
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:34,273
Visiting, meals on wheels,
Girl Guides...
123
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,994
All right, Mother.
I'l... I'l think about it.
124
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,554
She's putting a brave face on it.
125
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,355
But I don't think she'll care for that.
126
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,039
Who is that?
127
00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:52,873
My instructor.
128
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,513
And I don't think
she'll care for that, either.
129
00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:02,035
I never seem to get
any white envelopes these days.
130
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:05,198
Nothing but brown ones
with those nasty little windows
131
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:08,039
so the postman can tell everyone
how much you owe.
132
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:12,271
It's no use, Brabinger.
Those hats are made of fluff.
133
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:16,109
- This one's from Maribury Motors.
- About the Rolls, madam?
134
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:18,834
They've relined the brakes,
whatever that is.
135
00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:24,078
But they're keeping hold of the car
until we settle the account.
136
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:28,717
Are you allowed in law to...
impound people's property like that?
137
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:32,116
"Backlog of bills over several years."
138
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:35,755
It's inflation, you know.
Tradesmen never used to ask for cash.
139
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,440
I don't think
my father even knew what cash was.
140
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:39,675
No, madam.
141
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:43,634
Do they realise how much we need
the car? What about our meals on wheels?
142
00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:47,389
- What will happen to the old people?
- We'll starve, madam.
143
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:50,239
Not you, Brabinger.
I mean MY old people.
144
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,430
There's the seaside outing next week.
145
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,869
I do have a few savings, madam.
146
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:57,799
That's sweet of you,
but you'll probably need those.
147
00:09:57,840 --> 00:09:59,513
MARJORY: Anyone at home?
148
00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:01,790
- Oh, you are in.
- Miss Frobisher, madam.
149
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,639
I thought you were out.
The car's not in the garage.
150
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:07,035
Unfortunately, that's just where it is.
151
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,310
- No, it's not.
- No, not MY garage.
152
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:12,159
- I mean Marlbury Motors.
- Oh.
153
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,555
How are we going to manage
without the car?
154
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,591
Mrs Proctor's coming round in hers.
155
00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:19,473
- Oh, then I'm not needed.
- No, I'm sorry.
156
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,034
Rather you than me.
She drives like a maniac.
157
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:26,278
You can't do meals on wheels
without wheels, and hers were available.
158
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,436
She drives
as if she were riding a horse.
159
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,359
I've been with her
when she's fried to take the jumps.
160
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:35,837
Let's hope you don't have to
ask her to drive you too often.
161
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,793
- It's only till I'm mobile again.
- How long will that be?
162
00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,958
As long as it takes me
to find the cash for the garage bill.
163
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,276
Cash? Where are you going to find that?
164
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,199
From the money I save
by not running the car.
165
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:48,799
- (Doorbell)
- There she is.
166
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,673
You can't go on like this.
You've got to get a job.
167
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,711
I've got a job. This is my job.
168
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:57,549
If I didn't do it, it would be done
by some civil servant at 20,000 a year.
169
00:10:58,280 --> 00:10:59,600
Mrs Proctor, madam.
170
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,393
- Good morning, fforbes.
- Morning, Mrs Proctor.
171
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:06,070
- You on parade, as well, Frobisher?
- No. Audrey got muddled.
172
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:07,872
That's not like her.
173
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,230
- Ready, forbes?
- Booted and spurred.
174
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:14,717
Bit of a nuisance, this, old chap.
When are you going to be mobile again?
175
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:17,673
Well, Rolls-Royces
do tend to take a little time.
176
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,836
I'm going away next week, do you see?
177
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,440
Ah. Well, I...
I might be mobile by then.
178
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:25,711
Good. We need your car
for the old people's seaside outing.
179
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,639
- Got you down for five old things.
- Five?
180
00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:32,310
Yes, the funny foreign old thing
from the manor wants fo come.
181
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,317
Do you mean Mrs Poo?
182
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:38,240
Is that her name? Oh, well,
said fforbes promised she could.
183
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,874
- Yes, I did.
- So you can manage five, then?
184
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:44,595
- Have I ever let you down?
- Knew I could rely on you, fforbes.
185
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,551
Noblesse oblige.
186
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,752
That's just what I was saying.
Wasn't I, Marjory?
187
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,633
She thinks she's saving the country
20,000 a year.
188
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,159
Oh, at least, yes.
189
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,750
Three of us here are worth
half a dozen cabinet ministers.
190
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:01,270
- Where are you going for your holiday?
- Horse of the Year Show.
191
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:06,554
I'm trying to find somebody to run
my riding school while I'm away.
192
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,194
But you just can't find
the right people.
193
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:12,471
- Oh, who are the right people?
- Well, you, fforbes, me.
194
00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:16,832
US sort of people. You can pay
top rates for riff-raff these days.
195
00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,030
- Top rates?
- You have fo.
196
00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:21,594
Union's got you by the fetlocks,
do you see?
197
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:25,796
I dare say I could find time
to run your riding school for you.
198
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,309
Really, forbes?
Oh, I say, that's capital.
199
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:29,919
One thing, though.
200
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:33,316
Look, you won't like it,
but I insist on paying you.
201
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:35,351
Oh, well, if you insist.
202
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:38,954
We mustn't upset the union, must we?
203
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:42,675
Good. I'l fill you in on the meals run.
Come on, best foot forward.
204
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,076
Don't look at me like that, Marjory.
Itisn't a job as such.
205
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,431
(Clattering hooves)
206
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:10,836
Right, now, feet out of the stirrups
and dismount.
207
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,279
Fiona, dismount.
208
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:17,999
Now, don't forget your horse
is far more important than you are.
209
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:21,829
He's more valuable, too,
so make sure he's comfortable first.
210
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:23,518
Off you go.
211
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:27,758
You're back early.
212
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,360
I want to do some shopping
before they close.
213
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,914
Did you collect the money
before we went out?
214
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,918
- All here, Mrs forbes.
- Thank you. I'll take it.
215
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,558
Splendid.
216
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,638
- Shall I take him?
- I told you. I'm going shopping.
217
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:44,637
I'l have my basket, too, thank you.
218
00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:47,638
- Same time tomorrow, Linda.
- Very good, Mrs forbes.
219
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:49,273
Bye.
220
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,673
Linda.
221
00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:58,631
Can we get that cleaned up?
222
00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:01,513
That pony trap?
Hasn't been used for years.
223
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:03,949
Then it's high time it was.
224
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,440
- Is this yours?
- No, it's Mrs Proctor'.
225
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:28,269
- Are you the responsible driver?
- I am riding it, yes.
226
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,789
Good, cos I'm wondering
where to stick this.
227
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:34,913
Well, if you stick that on my horse,
I shall report you to the RSPCA.
228
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:38,032
- You have it, then.
- I don't need a polythene bag.
229
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:41,198
It's a parking ticket.
You are in a pay-and-display area
230
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:42,913
and you haven't done neither.
231
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,394
I haven't done either
232
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:47,751
for the very good reason
that this is a horse, not a motorcar.
233
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,713
It's a mode of transport
and it's parked illegally.
234
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,751
It is not parked. It is tethered.
235
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:56,998
And in case you hadn't noticed,
it has four legs, not four wheels.
236
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,031
There's nothing to say I can't book it
237
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:02,072
because it hasn't got
a windscreen to stick a ticket on.
238
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:05,511
Well, there's nothing to say
you have to pay to park horses.
239
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:07,790
D'you want me to have you towed away?
240
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:10,480
Look, I'm trying
to make your job easier.
241
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:14,434
If we all used horses,
we wouldn't need traffic wardens.
242
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,790
No. We'd all be road-sweepers.
243
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:20,231
To be honest, I'd rather handle
a pencil and pad than a shovel.
244
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,634
You have it.
245
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,671
Are you coming out?
246
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,791
Oh, it's you, Mrs fforbes-Hamilton.
247
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,150
- Er, yes.
- Oh, good.
248
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:31,556
I mean, yes, it's me.
But no, I am not coming out.
249
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,069
Not until this man
takes back his ticket.
250
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,111
Ticket? For a horse?
251
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,674
It's an illegally parked horse,
Reverend.
252
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,234
It's not carrying
a pay-and-display ticket.
253
00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:46,116
Ah. Well, do you think you could
continue your discussion somewhere else?
254
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:50,677
No, I am not moving from here until this
stupid little man takes back his ticket.
255
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,192
Go on, laugh.
256
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:57,074
You don't seem fo realise
I am trying to preserve the environment.
257
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:59,953
All you're doing
is causing a traffic jam.
258
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,991
(Horns tooting, blaring)
259
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:05,078
- I'm trying to park.
- (Laughter)
260
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:08,351
- (Horse whinnies)
- Quiet! You're frightening the horse.
261
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,994
I shall report you
for causing an obstruction.
262
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:12,713
I'M causing an obstruction?
263
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:16,196
It's not me. It's all these filthy,
stinking machines.
264
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,754
And this is what I think of your ticket.
265
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:20,791
- CROWD: Ooh!
- Go on. Cheer.
266
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,559
It's time somebody struck a blow
for the horse.
267
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,910
You'll need him
when the oil wells run dry.
268
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:29,919
- Are you coming out or not?
- No, Rector, I am not. Not for a car.
269
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:32,600
And when you've
all lost the use of your legs,
270
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,950
don't come running to me.
271
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:41,313
And you! Stay away from my delphiniums!
272
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:12,354
- Hello, Mother. Did you see that?
- That crash landing? I saw it.
273
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,710
It's the first time I've done it
ON my own.
274
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:17,593
Do you want to kill your old mother?
275
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:19,631
How could I? You weren't there.
276
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:25,834
But I have to watch every time
you fry to land and try to take off.
277
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,951
It's bad for my heart.
278
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:31,755
Oh, don't be silly, Mother.
1 got caught in a crosswind, that's all.
279
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,837
Are you staying for the weekend?
280
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:36,474
Yes. Battersea heliport to here
in 80 minutes.
281
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,875
It used to take that long
fo get to Taunton.
282
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:41,275
Oh, please let him get over it.
283
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,596
Let him get it out of his system
284
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:46,758
and become my Bedrich again.
285
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,200
By the way, Mother,
I've taken your advice.
286
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:54,916
- I've bought a new car for Audrey.
- Oh, good boy!
287
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,918
Oh, she will be delighted.
288
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,679
Well, I'm not so sure.
I'l have to sow the seed.
289
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:05,317
You know, emphasise the social value
of beetle drives and meals on wheels.
290
00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:08,398
Er, make out that it's not so much
a personal present,
291
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:10,238
more of a gift to the community.
292
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:12,317
When are you going to give it to her?
293
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:14,670
It's being delivered
Saturday lunchtime.
294
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,519
I want it to be a surprise
so I thought I'd take her out.
295
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:20,120
- To the Old Coach?
- Good Lord, no.
296
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,913
It's very good. 12.50 for two.
297
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:25,713
Yes, well, I want to make
a special day of it,
298
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:29,469
so what I thought I'd do
is fly her over to Paris
299
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,511
and lunch her at Maxim's.
300
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:34,234
While we're away,
they'll deliver the present,
301
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,874
- s0 when we get back, there it is.
- Ohl
302
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,797
Good boy. Come on.
303
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,639
Good boy. There we are.
304
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:52,429
Yes, madam, I will ensure
that she receives your message.
305
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,676
Yes. Without fail, madam.
306
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:56,552
Goodbye, madam.
307
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,910
- Who was that?
- Mrs Proctor, madam.
308
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:02,191
She regrets that she won't be returning
for a few more days.
309
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,709
Could you hold the fort
at the riding school?
310
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:09,277
Certainly. They have a wonderful system
there. Everyone pays in cash.
311
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:14,999
(Snorting)
312
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:23,953
Miss Frobisher, madam.
313
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,230
What on earth have you got
in your garage?
314
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,999
- A tadpole.
- It's a horse!
315
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,031
If you could see that, why ask me?
316
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:34,596
- Well, what's a horse doing in there?
- It's parked.
317
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,631
It's my new mode of transport.
318
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,672
- You bought a horse?
- No, it's one of Mrs Proctor's.
319
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,711
But I've been going into it.
320
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,558
Look... Oh, sit down.
321
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:47,070
I can afford to pay for
the repairs to the Rolls.
322
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:50,670
But I can only afford to run the car
if I don't actually use it.
323
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,712
So...the obvious thing
isto get a horse.
324
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,912
Aud, do be practical.
You can't use a horse all the time.
325
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,758
They used to in the old days.
326
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,235
But they didn't have
meals on wheels then.
327
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:05,478
True. I've often wondered
why I felt guilty about meals on wheels.
328
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:07,431
1 know. The food is disgraceful.
329
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,920
No, it's not the meals. It's the wheels.
330
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,873
Using up
the earth's precious oil resources.
331
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:17,800
But... Oh, Lord, it's Biggles.
Quick, take the other end of this.
332
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:20,719
- Come with me.
- Why? Audrey, what are we doing?
333
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,473
Hold this.
334
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:29,838
Audrey. Can you spare a moment?
335
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,076
This is my chance
to have a word with him.
336
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,349
What about?
337
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:37,712
The way he's destroying the quality of
life with that obscene machine of his.
338
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,594
Richard, I want to have
a serious talk with you.
339
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:46,712
- Good. Tell me tomorrow at lunch.
- Lunch?
340
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:50,993
Yes. I'd like you to have lunch with me.
I've got a table booked at Maxim's.
341
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,156
Maxim's? In Taunton?
342
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,880
- Paris.
- Lunch in Paris?
343
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,911
Oh, Richard, that's impossible.
344
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,031
- It's possible in this.
- In that?
345
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:05,790
Mm. We could flip over to Paris,
have lunch...and be back again by four.
346
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,672
- Really?
- Mm. What do you say?
347
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:13,034
No, I'm sorry. I can't. I've got
the riding school in the afternoon.
348
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,469
- Can't you get out of it?
-No, I need the m...
349
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:20,469
Erm, I... I need to be there.
Another time, perhaps.
350
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,591
Erm, there can't be another time.
351
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,517
- Why not?
-Em...
352
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,837
Because I want to have
a serious talk with YOU.
353
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,393
What about?
354
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,831
I'll tell you tomorrow at lunch.
At the Old Coach restaurant.
355
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,110
- Mother says it's very good.
- Lovely.
356
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,959
I'll erm, meet you there about 1pm.
357
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,479
Right.
358
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:06,231
Marjory, the blanket
was meant for the flowers, not you!
359
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:15,154
I have enjoyed my lunch, Richard.
Thank you.
360
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,316
Not quite Maxim's, I'm afraid.
361
00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:21,274
- Well, you couldn't expect it to be.
- Not at £12.50 for two, no.
362
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,952
You haven't said what you wanted
to talk to me about yet.
363
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:27,593
Your helicopter.
364
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:29,836
I'll take you up in it
any time you like.
365
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,996
I don't want fo go up in it. Ever.
366
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,839
You didn't say that
about going to Paris, did you?
367
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,759
Well, that just shows
how easily I can be seduced.
368
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,838
I wasn't thinking of anything
quite like that, Audrey.
369
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,349
No, I meant seduced by advertising,
370
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:48,950
by the power of the multinationals,
pressure from the media.
371
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,435
- What are you talking about?
- Ecology.
372
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:54,393
Gas-guzzling, energy-consuming
people like you,
373
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,750
with your helicopter and your Rolls.
374
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:58,199
What about YOUR Rolls?
375
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:01,232
There was only one thing wrong
with it. It used petrol.
376
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:05,797
Well, hardly any form of transport
doesn't use oil in some form or another.
377
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:08,559
Exactly. All the problems
in the world today
378
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,672
- are caused solely by oil. Take Persia.
- Iran.
379
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,996
Iran, then.
They wouldn't have problems
380
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,431
ifthe place wasn't full of
little Persians drilling for oil.
381
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:22,031
- They should stick to making carpets.
- But we live in an oil-based economy.
382
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,754
It's doomed, Richard.
I realised it was all over
383
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,599
when they introduced
self-service petrol pumps
384
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,790
and the AA men stopped saluting.
385
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:34,469
The misery the motorcar's subjected us
to. I've finished with them.
386
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:38,639
1 tell you, if somebody came to me and
offered me a brand-new one on a plate
387
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:41,399
I'd tell them
exactly what to do with it.
388
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:47,554
Audrey, you're really...
terribly attractive when you're angry.
389
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:53,720
But surely you need a car.
What about your meals on wheels?
390
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:55,751
Oh, I've got wheels.
391
00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,473
That was lovely. Thank you.
392
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:02,512
My pleasure. I'll give you
a lift to the riding school.
393
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:04,551
No, I'll give YOU a lift.
394
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,160
Good boy. Lunch is over. Thank you.
395
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:09,991
Come on. In you get.
396
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,629
John. Follow this cab.
397
00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:21,555
Right, fasten your seatbelt. Walk on.
398
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:49,880
This is the way to travel. We're getting
about as nature intended. (Chuckles)
399
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:56,518
(Roll of thunder)
400
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:05,358
All right, Richard!
401
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:16,429
Whoa. Stand. Stand still.
Can I drop you here?
402
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:18,232
Yes. Fine. Thank you.
403
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:22,194
- Oh, Lord, who's that?
- Er... nobody.
404
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:25,949
- No, I mean whose car is that?
- Er, i's... Er, it's mine.
405
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,230
But you've got a Rolls and a helicopter.
406
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:30,954
Yes. Er, I... I bought it
for a member of the staff
407
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,640
and they must have
delivered it here by mistake.
408
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,115
Will you move it?
It's going fo be in my way.
409
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:38,071
(Hurt) All right. Awfully sorry.
410
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,838
- Thanks for a lovely lunch.
- Thanks for the lift.
411
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,440
Bye. Walk on. Good boy.
412
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:47,914
Bye.
413
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,278
(Sneezes)
414
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,276
For sale, one Mini Metro.
415
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:21,195
Coffee, Brabinger.
I suppose it's a bit early for a drink.
416
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:22,639
Scotch.
417
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:25,357
Scotch, Brabinger?
418
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,356
Well, how did it happen?
419
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,119
Level-crossing gates.
Went slap into them.
420
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,754
What a shame.
So you didn't have a clear round?
421
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,519
What are you talking about?
I was in my car.
422
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:41,316
- Oh, I see. I thought you were riding.
- Horse would have jumped ‘em.
423
00:26:41,360 --> 00:26:44,910
- Car went straight through.
- Horses are much more sensible.
424
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,349
Reminds me.
Why is my horse in your garage?
425
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,596
And what are you doing
with my pony trap?
426
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,678
I'm trying an experiment -
living without a motorcar.
427
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,553
- Where's your Rolls?
- I've erm...given it up.
428
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,549
What about
the old things' seaside outing?
429
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:01,399
- Oh, I'l manage.
- You'd better. I can't drive.
430
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:05,070
And my car's a write-off.
Can't cope without your Rolls, forbes.
431
00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:07,839
- You promised to take five.
- I won't let you down.
432
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,673
Don't know what we'd do
without chaps like you and me.
433
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,473
- Noblesse oblige.
- Absolutely.
434
00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:18,273
- Right, well, leave it fo you, then.
- Coffee, madam.
435
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:26,150
- I'm just off to London, Mother.
- In that new toy of yours?
436
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,840
Of course. Where are you going?
437
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:31,909
To the seaside
with the old people's club.
438
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:34,315
- Ah.
- Audrey's picking me up.
439
00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:37,478
- What in?
- Well, her car, I suppose.
440
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:40,831
- She's given up her car.
- Well, she must have got it back.
441
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,713
Perhaps she'll take you
in that little buggy.
442
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:46,910
I should think it most unlikely.
443
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,156
She's taking five of us.
444
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:53,039
She really is
the most frightful hypocrite.
445
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:57,438
She lectures me about pollution
and energy consumption
446
00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,393
and she's still driving around
in that Rolls of hers.
447
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,909
I don't know how she dares.
The damn woman.
448
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:04,758
- Bedrich.
- Hello. All ready?
449
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,679
Oh, yes. Just my coat, my dear.
450
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:11,554
- Hello, Richard.
- Audrey, you're thoroughly two-faced.
451
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,319
Bedrich, that is no way
to speak to someone
452
00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:16,510
who is kindly taking your mother out.
453
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:19,074
One minute you're going on
in high moral tones
454
00:28:19,120 --> 00:28:21,680
about energy-consuming people like me
455
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:26,032
and the next minute you're ferrying old
dears around at ten miles to the gallon,
456
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,879
belching out lead and monoxide
all over the place.
457
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,514
- You can't have it both ways.
- Oh, I know that.
458
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:33,631
What have you got to say for yourself?
459
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:38,072
You're really rather attractive
when you're angry. Come on, Mrs Poo.
460
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:41,997
Why don't you join us?
I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself.
461
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:49,671
Your carriage awaits.
37983
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