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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,304 --> 00:00:05,315 - Well, I've spent the entire weekend 2 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:07,384 watching a tape of my A&E biography 3 00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:09,453 and I've realized a number of things. 4 00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:11,421 - How many don't involve your looks or your weight? 5 00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:12,255 - Four. 6 00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:13,090 - Or your hair. 7 00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:13,923 - One. 8 00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:15,125 - Make it quick. 9 00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:16,393 - Everything bad that's happened in my life 10 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,862 has had a direct connection to men. 11 00:00:18,886 --> 00:00:20,263 - Huh, go on. 12 00:00:20,287 --> 00:00:21,798 - Well, I've spent all my energy 13 00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:23,533 pleasing husbands and boyfriends 14 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:24,934 and having them please me, 15 00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:26,203 if you catch my drift. 16 00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:27,570 - Yeah. 17 00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:28,838 - I mean, who knows what I might have become 18 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,907 if I hadn't always been side tracked. 19 00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:33,310 I could've been the president or a scientist 20 00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:35,745 or at least mastered multiplication 21 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:37,314 and goes into. 22 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,385 - I have a radical suggestion. 23 00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:44,388 Abstain from sex for awhile. 24 00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:45,588 - Well, thanks for listening. 25 00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:47,590 - Seriously, seriously, 26 00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:50,593 just think about giving up sex. 27 00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:52,762 - You know, my therapist once suggested the same thing, 28 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:56,233 but I thought that was just his way of breaking up with me. 29 00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:57,501 - Now, a few years back 30 00:00:57,525 --> 00:00:58,801 I was going though this confusing time 31 00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:01,571 and I decided to give up sex for awhile. 32 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:04,307 I mean, not to get all new agey, but you know, 33 00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:06,143 suddenly I found all this clarity. 34 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:07,877 My life really came into focus. 35 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,334 - Clarity, focus. 36 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,448 You know what? 37 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:12,582 I'm gonna do it. 38 00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:13,816 I'm gonna be celibate. 39 00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:21,525 - Hey, don't let that discourage you, alright. 40 00:01:21,549 --> 00:01:23,393 That's only one person's opinion. 41 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:24,261 Nina? 42 00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:41,911 - Here's your problem. 43 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,746 Port connection isn't hooked up to your panties, 44 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,115 your printer. 45 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,254 - So, what is the big crisis? 46 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:52,489 - The writer we hired to pose 47 00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:55,024 as a high school student just called in sick. 48 00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:55,992 - What? 49 00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:57,961 We set aside 10 pages for this. 50 00:01:57,985 --> 00:01:59,463 - You know, as a backup... 51 00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:01,731 - We're not doing the Sandra Day O'Connor piece. 52 00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:03,666 - But I've got some hot new stuff. 53 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:06,103 Do you know what the other justices call her? 54 00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,127 Sandy. 55 00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:10,407 - Maya, no. 56 00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:11,541 All we have to do is find someone who can pass 57 00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:12,775 for a high school kid. 58 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,777 - Yeah, but where? 59 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,446 - You said but where. 60 00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:23,009 No way. 61 00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:26,389 - Dennis, it's just one day. 62 00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:28,492 Stanley can fill in for you. 63 00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:29,959 - It's Kevin. 64 00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:34,097 - You don't look like a Kevin. 65 00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:37,367 - I know, I don't feel like a Kevin. 66 00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,305 - Look, I'm not wasting my time 67 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:43,840 hanging out with a bunch of children. 68 00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:45,708 - Come on, Dennis, it'll be fun. 69 00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:47,344 You'll be undercover. 70 00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:48,911 - Yeah, it'll be easy. 71 00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,547 You just have to hang out with the kids, 72 00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:51,648 find out what they think. 73 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:52,882 I'll do all the writing. 74 00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:54,151 - Forget it. 75 00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:55,418 I hated high school the first time around. 76 00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,220 I was too fragile to play sports, 77 00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:59,656 never had a date, never went to the prom. 78 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,057 - You must've had friends. 79 00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:03,059 - Just a bunch of guys that called me Denise 80 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,583 and took my pants. 81 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:09,166 - Dennis, I strongly suggest you reconsider. 82 00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:10,667 - Jack, you really think you can bully me 83 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,702 into going back to high school by taking my juice? 84 00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:15,228 - Whoops. 85 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:16,929 Hey new guy. 86 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,031 - Dammit. 87 00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:53,943 - Kevin, is the radio on in here? 88 00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:54,967 - No. 89 00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,415 - I thought I heard singing. 90 00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:00,983 - I didn't hear anything. 91 00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:02,341 Just organizing. 92 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,502 - You didn't hear that? 93 00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:20,526 - What? 94 00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:23,396 - Nothing. 95 00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:26,976 Well, okay, see you later. 96 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:27,810 - Okay. 97 00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:32,639 - It is you. 98 00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:35,619 - It won't happen again. 99 00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:37,987 - No, no, it was so beautiful. 100 00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:38,821 - I have to go. 101 00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:39,845 - So sweet. 102 00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:48,331 Such sweets sounds from such an odd bird. 103 00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:56,862 - Nina! 104 00:04:58,165 --> 00:05:01,166 - Miguel, what are you doing in town? 105 00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:05,114 - I have a two day layover. 106 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,138 Layover. 107 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,018 - My goodness. 108 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,688 - Can we go back to my hotel for a drink? 109 00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:14,724 I'm in the mood for Nina-colada. 110 00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:17,694 - If anyone needs me I'll be in ecstasy. 111 00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:21,063 - Nina, Nina, can I talk to you? 112 00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:23,266 - Can you hold on for just one moment? 113 00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,402 - I am in an erotic holding pattern. 114 00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:31,274 - What about our conversation? 115 00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:33,876 You know, focus, clarity, no sex. 116 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,512 - But the only thing Miguel and I have in common 117 00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:36,536 is sex. 118 00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:39,048 - Nina, this is the perfect test, 119 00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,718 a chance to prove you can take control of your life. 120 00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:44,576 I'll be right here if you need me. 121 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:47,990 - Miguel, I'm sorry, 122 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,959 but I'm afraid I can't go back to your hotel. 123 00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,651 I've decided to become celibate. 124 00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,600 - Congratulations. 125 00:05:57,624 --> 00:05:59,569 I look forward to making love to the new you. 126 00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:01,693 - No, no, no, I'm serious. 127 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,042 - She plays hard to get, no? 128 00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:07,944 Well, when I come back, 129 00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:11,548 I will turn up the heat from uno to ocho. 130 00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:15,885 - What airline do you work for? 131 00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:28,531 - So, we have a little initiation ritual here 132 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:29,999 to welcome all of our new students. 133 00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,167 - Right. 134 00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,969 - So we'll be needing your pants. 135 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:33,936 - Oh, here we go. 136 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,037 - Hey guys. 137 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:35,872 Hi, Krissy. 138 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,340 - Hey, Krissy. 139 00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:38,875 - Mark, what are you doing? 140 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,299 - I'm getting new guys pants. 141 00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:45,682 - How many pairs of tiny pants do you need? 142 00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,717 Heads up, it's Mr. Peters. 143 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,886 - What's this little congregation? 144 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:50,854 Mark, aren't you supposed to be 145 00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:53,022 in my English class right now? 146 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,424 And you, no drinking in the hallway. 147 00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:55,324 - Hey, that's mine. 148 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,594 - Well, now it's mine. 149 00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:58,795 - Well, now it's mine. 150 00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:05,502 - What's you name, young man? 151 00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:06,736 - D Finch. 152 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,605 - And the D stands for? 153 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,507 - D-Cup, 'cause that's the way I like my ladies. 154 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:19,215 - Well as of today, D stands for detention. 155 00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:22,674 - Are you sure D doesn't stand for dance. 156 00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:25,755 - Oh very clever. 157 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,557 That'll look very nice on your permanent record. 158 00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:29,025 - Oh no, not my permanent record. 159 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,395 Then I can't be an English teacher 160 00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:36,198 and wear a powerful high energy sweater vest. 161 00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:37,634 - Hey, watch it. 162 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,335 - Let me guess, you took the teaching gig 163 00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:41,571 so you'd have time to write a serious novel. 164 00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:42,806 - That's enough. 165 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,507 - Now 15 years later, it's still not finished 166 00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:45,608 and you won't show it to your wife 167 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,799 because it's not any good. 168 00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,547 - It's a work in progress. 169 00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:55,885 - You smoked him, man. 170 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:58,387 - Dude touched my juice. 171 00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:06,996 - I'm telling you, he has an incredible singing voice. 172 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,665 - Kevin, the mail guy? 173 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,166 - He creeps me out. 174 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,167 Have you noticed how he walks? 175 00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,858 His arms don't move. 176 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:16,238 - Believe me, no one is more uncomfortable 177 00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:17,974 around Kevin than I am, 178 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,276 but you gotta hear him sing. 179 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,243 Kevin! 180 00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:23,001 Wait'll you hear him. 181 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,337 - Yeah? 182 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,651 - Kevin, I was just telling them 183 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,187 what a beautiful voice you have. 184 00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:32,777 - What do you mean? 185 00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:36,493 - The way you were singing earlier. 186 00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:38,327 - I don't sing. 187 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,129 - Of course you do. 188 00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:42,532 Now come on, sing something. 189 00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:44,934 - I'm afraid you're mistaken. 190 00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:48,404 - Well done, dad. 191 00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:49,606 I almost believed you. 192 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:50,573 - I'm telling you, 193 00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:52,775 he has the voice of an angel. 194 00:08:52,799 --> 00:08:54,777 - Uh huh and a basement full of hitchhikers. 195 00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:03,386 - Don't ever do that again! 196 00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,692 - But I thought you... - Ever! 197 00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:15,364 So you have some messages. 198 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,939 - So why did you get kicked out of your old school? 199 00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,874 - Well, I borrowed the principal's car 200 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:27,309 for a little trip to Vegas. 201 00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:28,499 With his wife. 202 00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:31,136 - Cool. 203 00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:34,050 - Hey, D-Cup, we're gonna go tell the guys 204 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,285 what you said to Mr. Kowalski in gym class. 205 00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,253 - Yeah, D, say it again. 206 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:38,277 - All right, 207 00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:42,547 you climb the rope. 208 00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:46,150 - Awesome, simply awesome. 209 00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:50,332 - Well, I gotta hand it to you, D, 210 00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:51,500 everyone's talking about you. 211 00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:53,335 - Well, that's the way it is. 212 00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:55,638 - I think you're full of it. 213 00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:56,839 - What do you mean? 214 00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:58,107 - Pretending you don't care about school 215 00:09:58,131 --> 00:10:00,577 or teachers or your permanent record. 216 00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,144 I'm not buying into your act. 217 00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:03,168 - Really? 218 00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,615 Maybe I'm not buying into yours. 219 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:06,749 - I don't have an act. 220 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,818 - Oh, I think you do, 221 00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:11,253 in your costume, playing the part of little Miss Popular, 222 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,155 but secretly you're terrified 223 00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:17,259 if you let your guard down no one will like the real you. 224 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,461 - You know, your little mind games 225 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,663 may work on Mr. Peters, but not me. 226 00:10:20,687 --> 00:10:21,497 I don't have any secrets. 227 00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:22,899 I'm not hiding anything. 228 00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,033 - Good for you. 229 00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,568 By the way, nice nose job. 230 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,627 - Shut up D bag. 231 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:41,807 - Ocho. 232 00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,421 - Oh my god. 233 00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:47,590 - Is this not the office of Nina Van Horn? 234 00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:48,614 - Uh, no. 235 00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:50,760 - Could you send her in? 236 00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:51,995 - Sure, yes. 237 00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:56,032 Nina, 238 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:58,001 your boyfriend is sitting behind my desk, 239 00:10:58,025 --> 00:11:00,503 naked, smoking a cigar. 240 00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:02,326 - That is so romantic. 241 00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:04,373 - Nina, it's not romantic. 242 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,676 It's not even hygienic. 243 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:07,944 - Not to mention, 244 00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:10,613 this is supposed to be a smoke free environment. 245 00:11:10,637 --> 00:11:13,315 - Elliot, what am I gonna do? 246 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,851 - Let's go get a cup of coffee. 247 00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:16,052 - You're right, 248 00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:17,386 remove myself from temptation. 249 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:18,320 Good idea. 250 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,488 I'll just get Miguel's order. 251 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:23,893 - Hey, there you are. 252 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:24,861 How'd it go? 253 00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:25,695 - Unbelievable. 254 00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:26,719 I was a god. 255 00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,532 It was like a dream come true. 256 00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:31,200 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, what about your research? 257 00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:32,135 - My what? 258 00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:33,636 - For the article, your notes. 259 00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:36,372 - Oh yeah, tons of them, lots of stuff happening. 260 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:37,506 I'll type it up tomorrow. 261 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,975 - Oh, give me a taste. 262 00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:43,379 What do today's high school boys think about girls? 263 00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:44,814 - Ah, they like them. 264 00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:48,084 - That's it? 265 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,518 - Especially the complex brainy ones 266 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,253 that work on the school paper. 267 00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:52,488 - I knew it. 268 00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:57,060 Because we're inquisitive and literate 269 00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:58,416 and that's sexy. 270 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,433 - D? 271 00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:06,169 - Krissy, what are you doing here? 272 00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:07,737 - You know I followed you. 273 00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:08,671 - I do? 274 00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:09,906 - Come on, you tried to ditch me 275 00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:12,675 by going in that creepy porn shop. 276 00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,099 - Oh yeah, right. 277 00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:18,081 - So, what are you doing here? 278 00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:20,016 - After school job. 279 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,417 It's kinda lame, but they give me time off 280 00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,886 to tour with my band. 281 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,855 Why'd you follow me? 282 00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:30,492 - Because no one ever talked to me like you did. 283 00:12:30,516 --> 00:12:33,162 - Yeah, listen, I didn't mean to get all Road Rules on you. 284 00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:34,563 - No, no, no, no, no. 285 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:35,832 It was more than Road Rules, 286 00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,566 I mean, it was The Real World Hawaii. 287 00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:42,371 And that's exactly the medicine I needed, D. 288 00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:44,796 - Sometimes, D is for doctor. 289 00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:47,110 - You are so finchy. 290 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,377 - Finchy? 291 00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:49,511 - Yeah, it's a new word at school. 292 00:12:49,535 --> 00:12:50,535 - Really? 293 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:55,807 Well, you're pretty finchified yourself. 294 00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:59,210 - That is so sweet. 295 00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:02,859 Okay, here goes. 296 00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:03,883 D-Cup, 297 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,932 will you go with me to the prom? 298 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,200 - The prom? 299 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:12,601 - I know, I know, it'll probably be really lame 300 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:13,870 and everyone will be fawning all over you 301 00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:16,773 and be voted king and queen, but. 302 00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:17,606 Are you crying? 303 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:18,440 - No. 304 00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,790 - Hey, you look fancy. 305 00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:34,623 Where're you going? 306 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:35,892 - To the prom. 307 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,426 - Finch, that's so great. 308 00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:38,694 I so appreciate you going the extra mile 309 00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:39,962 for this article. 310 00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,052 - No problem. 311 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:43,499 - What's that? 312 00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:45,201 - Corsage for my date. 313 00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:47,170 - You're taking a girl? 314 00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,238 - Oh, not just any girl, the head cheerleader 315 00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:50,661 and she asked me. 316 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:55,812 - Finch, you can't do this, it's wrong. 317 00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:59,481 - Wrong, how in your twisted mind is this wrong? 318 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,383 - You're a 33 year old man going on a date 319 00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:02,885 with a high school cheerleader. 320 00:14:02,909 --> 00:14:04,687 - Head cheerleader, top of the pyramid. 321 00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:07,523 - Oh, bitchin'. 322 00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:09,625 - First of all, no one says bitchin' anymore. 323 00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:11,227 Secondly, it is bitchin'. 324 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:12,461 I get to go back to high school again 325 00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:14,096 and this time I'm doing it right. 326 00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:16,866 - This is so sad. 327 00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,735 - Sad, you know what's sad? 328 00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:21,871 Soon all my new friends will be going off to college. 329 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,777 - Nina. 330 00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:30,246 - Miguel. 331 00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:32,181 - I must leave this afternoon. 332 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:36,374 This is our last chance to couple as God has intended. 333 00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:38,787 - Oh dear. 334 00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:39,889 - Listen, pal. 335 00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:42,691 - Oh now that's just sexy. 336 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:46,095 - Nina, I cannot take off until we've made love. 337 00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:49,031 It's part of my preflight check list. 338 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:50,432 - Be strong. 339 00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:51,934 - Your husband's starting to annoy me. 340 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,327 Let me just kiss your neck. 341 00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:59,876 If you feel nothing, I will go. 342 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:00,676 Yes? 343 00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:01,477 - No. 344 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,145 - Yes, it's all right. 345 00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:06,771 I'm clear, I'm focused and I am in control. 346 00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:24,689 Nothing. 347 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:28,570 - Very well. 348 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:31,274 I will pick up a chick at the duty free shop. 349 00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:33,542 I will have sex and tax free cigarettes to boot. 350 00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:38,381 - I'm very proud of you. 351 00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:40,516 You've made great progress. 352 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:41,984 Come on, I'll buy you a drink. 353 00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:43,085 - I can't. 354 00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:44,353 - Why not? 355 00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:45,754 - Because if I move I'll have an orgasm. 356 00:15:57,824 --> 00:15:59,068 - Mr. Gallo? 357 00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:00,858 - I have mace in here. 358 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:06,642 - I just wanted to apologize for yelling at you yesterday. 359 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,232 - Apology accepted. 360 00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:11,670 Kevin, wait. 361 00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:16,152 I have to ask, you have the most beautiful voice 362 00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:20,345 I've ever heard, why don't you let others enjoy it? 363 00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:23,714 - I did once, but I got hurt. 364 00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:28,364 - Was it a girl? 365 00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:30,166 - Yeah, from back home. 366 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:31,367 - Where's home? 367 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:32,668 - Jupiter. 368 00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,138 Jupiter, Florida. 369 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:39,163 - Oh, of course, grapefruit country. 370 00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:43,412 You don't want to sing for others, 371 00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,948 that's your business, but I just want you to know 372 00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:48,473 how moved I was by your voice. 373 00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:53,122 It reminded me of the last time my father took me 374 00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:54,390 to Carnegie Hall. 375 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:57,759 I was 12 and there was a tenor there 376 00:16:57,783 --> 00:17:01,263 with a voice as beautiful as yours. 377 00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:05,056 I guess the memories just came flooding back. 378 00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:08,059 Anyway, goodnight, Kevin. 379 00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:17,568 ♪ Oh Danny boy 380 00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:23,441 ♪ The pipes the pipes are calling 381 00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:30,014 ♪ From glen to glen 382 00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:35,586 ♪ And down the mountainside 383 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:51,713 - Oh my god, look at the decorations. 384 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:52,948 Look at the lights. 385 00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:55,084 It's like something out of Cinderella. 386 00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:57,520 - Seriously, how lame is this? 387 00:17:57,544 --> 00:18:01,223 - Oh yeah, that's totally lame, very unfinchy. 388 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,359 Would you like to dance? 389 00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:06,095 Right here, in front of everyone. 390 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,896 - D, you make me feel like a princess. 391 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,498 - Ditto times two. 392 00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,102 - So later on, some of the gang 393 00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:14,136 are gonna grab some champagne 394 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,337 and head up to the lake. 395 00:18:15,361 --> 00:18:16,705 - The lake? 396 00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:17,806 Oh, there's a lake. 397 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:18,941 There's always a lake. 398 00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:21,009 The lake is perfect. 399 00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,578 - Cool, 'cause that's where I'm gonna tell you 400 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:23,602 I love you. 401 00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:28,084 - What, wait, you love me? 402 00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:30,286 - Shh, not 'til the lake. 403 00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:33,189 - Listen, Krissy, I understand you're hot for me. 404 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:36,814 I'm totally rockin', but you don't love me. 405 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,429 I mean, that's just the lights and the music 406 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:43,121 and the after shower body spray. 407 00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:45,468 - No, it's not. 408 00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:46,835 It's me cutting through the bull 409 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,137 and getting to what's real. 410 00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:49,738 You taught me that. 411 00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:51,307 - You've only known me for one day. 412 00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:52,575 - Look, I know it may seem crazy, 413 00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:54,477 but I know how I feel. 414 00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:57,012 I have totally fallen in love with you 415 00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:59,215 and nothing you can say can change that. 416 00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:00,239 - Oh Krissy. 417 00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,175 I'm 33 years old. 418 00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:08,390 I know that might be cool to your gang. 419 00:19:08,414 --> 00:19:09,391 - Ew! 420 00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:10,826 - Let me explain. 421 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:11,660 - Ew! 422 00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:13,795 - No, I'm... - Ew, ew, ew, ew! 423 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:14,819 D-Cup is 33. 424 00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:18,434 The old guy totally wanted to perv on me at the lake. 425 00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,068 - No, no she's kidding. 426 00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:21,803 It's a big joke. 427 00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:24,940 Dude, it's D-Cup talking, it's finchified, man. 428 00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:27,109 I'm keeping it real with the finchiness. 429 00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:38,687 Nina, what are you doing here? 430 00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:39,988 Just thinking. 431 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,591 Ha ha, good one. 432 00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,182 - Hey, why the tux? 433 00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:46,662 - I was at the prom. 434 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,118 - Yeah, good one. 435 00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:52,067 Well, I've had a great day. 436 00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:54,403 Seized control of my life. 437 00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:55,937 I looked into the navel of the beast 438 00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:58,474 and I said no, gracias. 439 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:03,078 - I had a chance to definch a cheerleader, 440 00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:05,614 possibly in a paddle boat. 441 00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:08,284 And I, too, said no, gracias. 442 00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:09,652 - Mine was Spanish. 443 00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:11,487 - Ah, mine took Spanish. 444 00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:16,559 I guess you can't be a kid again. 445 00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,916 - Oh god, remember back when 446 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:23,865 just holding hands meant everything. 447 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,867 - Or sitting close. 448 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:28,070 - Or a longing look. 449 00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:30,038 - Or having your knees touch. 450 00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:33,001 ♪ Life keeps bringing me back to you 451 00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:36,872 ♪ Keeps bringing me home 452 00:21:36,896 --> 00:21:39,975 ♪ It don't matter what I wanna do 453 00:21:39,999 --> 00:21:44,168 ♪ 'Cause it's got a mind of its own 454 00:21:46,439 --> 00:21:50,608 ♪ Life keeps bringing me back to you 30658

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