All language subtitles for The Neighborhood - 03x06-eng

Oh, hey, Dave.

Oh, hey, Calvin.

What's wrong?

It's been a whole three seconds,

and I'm not thinking
of an excuse to go inside.

Yeah, we just got a call
from Gemma's sister Brittany.

She's back in town and
she's on her way over.

I thought you told me
she was in jail again.

Well, she was, but
she got out early.

This time without having
to dress up like a guard.

You know, that was
pretty impressive,

making a mustache out of a mop.

I just figured that we wouldn't
have to see her for a while.

You know, now that TSA
has banned her

from every major airline.

You know, family like her,
they always find a way.

Last Christmas,
my cousin Daeshawn

couldn't afford a plane ticket,
so he put himself in a crate

and shipped himself home.

I'm just afraid of what
she's gonna want from us now.

The first thing Daeshawn wanted
was a glass of water.

You know, she says that she's
turned her life around,

but it's always
the same thing with her.

You know, she shows up
looking for a handout,

her life is a total mess,

and she expects us
to fix it all.

[car approaches, door opens]

Hi, Dave.

Brittany?

Here's a hundred bucks
for picking me up.

I've been banned
from more car services

than major airlines.

Wow. Daeshawn didn't show up
like that.

His legs were asleep and he was
covered in packing peanuts.

♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

♪ Welcome to the hood.

It's so awesome you came
to visit, Aunt Brittany.

My friends can't believe
I'm related to a TV star.

Sweetie, being on Locked Up Abroad

doesn't make you a TV star.

Maybe not, but being on it
three times does.

High five.

Here we go,
drinks for everyone.

Brittany, I put yours
in a to-go cup in case,

you know, you need to go.

Dave, don't be rude.

But seriously, Brittany,
don't let us keep you.

Don't worry, guys.

I know I was a bit of a handful

last time I was here,
but this trip's different.

Oh, well, we already know that
because there isn't

a stolen school bus parked
out on our front lawn.

You told me to pick Grover up
after school.

You didn't tell me how.
[chuckles]

So then, uh, why
exactly are you here?

I'm in town on a business trip.

We're not investing.

I don'’t need investors.

In fact, I'm in town to meet
some potential clients

for my new fashion line.

You started a fashion line?Uh, yeah.

And you deserve some
of the credit, Gemma.

Last time you kicked me out,
I realized all those things

you said to me were true.

I didn't have a purpose
and I needed to find one.

Well, we knew school bus
driver was out.

Anyways, I-I love clothes,

and I've always been good
at sewing,

so I decided to go for it.

And pretty soon
I was selling

my own designs
at private parties.

In fact, I'm wearing one of
my best sellers right now.

[chuckles]Oh, my God.

You made that?
Dave, isn't this incredible?

It is.

Some would say unbelievable.

Well, believe it, Dave.

And to prove to you that
I've turned my life around,

I want to pay you guys back

for all the money you're
lent me over the years.

What? Brittany, no, no, no.
This is way too much.

No, that's right.
I stole a lot, too.

This is amazing.

You know what would be
really amazing?

If this thing actually clears.

What are you doing, Dave?

Brittany just gave us a check
for all the money

that she's borrowed.

Crazy thing is,
I think it's real.

Let me see that.

Damn, for this kind of money

I'll be your sister-in-law.

You know, I can't count
the amount of times

that she has suckered
money out of us.

Well, you don't have to.

She wrote 'em all down here
on the memo line.

I guess I should just be glad
that she paid us back.

Exactly.
You know what?

You should take that money and
do something nice for yourself.

Like taking me out
for a steak dinner.

Actually, you know,

I have a better idea.

Oh, you're gonna
give me the money

and I can go by myself?

No.

You and I are gonna go
to an escape room.

Oh, come on.

Not this again.Oh, come on, Calvin.

I have asked you
a thousand times,

and you always say no.
Yes.

Because every time
we're in a room together,

I want to escape.

I promise you it's
gonna be fun.

[sighs]:
Fine, I'll go.

You know what, in fact,

maybe we should start
practicing right now.

Great.
Now, what I'd like...

Oh, man, he is gonna be
good at this.

Well, Brittany wasn't lying.

She's really staying
at the Four Seasons.

This time in a room
she didn't enter

through an air-conditioning
duct.

Well, I got to say
it sounds like your sister's

really turned over a new leaf.

Mm, I don't know.

She's burned me
so many times before.

Literally, once,
when she torched her car

for insurance money.

You know, Gemma,
people can change.

Calvin used to complain
all the time

about me getting
too many speeding tickets.

So you started driving slower?

Hell no, he just stopped
complaining about it.

Now, that's change
right there.

I guess you're right.

I mean, if she has changed,
and I didn't support her,

what kind of sister
would I be?

Exactly.
So be happy for her.

Like how I am when
I blast over speed bumps

and catch some air.

You know what I should do?

I should host one of
those private parties

for her fashion line.

Oh, I like that.

I could invite some of
my coworkers from school.

I can bring some of my
friends from the church.

That'd be fun.

Oh, perfect.
Brittany will love this.

I'm gonna call her
right now.

Or we can drive over
and tell her.

I could get us there
in seven minutes flat.

Whoa.
Now, this is an escape room.

Look at all the saws
and blood splatter.

It's like we're actually
in a serial killer's basement.

Dave, we walked through
a P.F. Chang's to get here.

Hi. My name is Andy,
and I'm your host.

Welcome to the worst night
of your lives.

Way ahead of you, pal.

Now, Calvin, pay attention.

Everything he says or
does can be a clue.

Even his name, Andy.

What's Andy backwards?
Ydna. It's Ydna.

Would you do me a favor
and grab that chain saw

and just kill me now?

Okay, so you've been abducted
by a serial killer.

No one outside
can hear your screams.

The killer must have
soundproofed the walls.

Uh, no, we did after
P.F. Chang's complained.

You have one hour to escape,
or your friends and family

will never hear from you again.

Or you can just give me
a ringy-dingy on this

if you want to give up.

Your time starts now.

Okay, Calvin, am I crazy,
or were his shoes

on the wrong feet?

And if they were, what could
that possibly mean?

Dave, this has got to be
the lamest thing that...

[thunder booms][electricity crackles]

DISTORTED VOICE [over speaker]:
Welcome to my little playroom.

Okay, this ain't funny.

I'm gonna show you
some of my toys.

And when I'm done,
you will become

my second and third victims
of the night.

Second and third victim?
Who was the first?

[both cry out]No!

That-That's it, I'm out.
Give me the walkie-talkie.

No, Calvin,
we are not giving up.

We are gonna get out of here
by following the clues.

It's what Andy
would have wanted.

Dave...

you can stay in here
and get murdered,

but I am going out there and I'm
getting some kung pao chicken.

[rattles door]

Give me the walkie!

No!

Why the hell did you do that?

Because you promised
to give this a shot,

and I'm gonna make sure
that you do.

[spooky laughter]

Okay, if you let me out,
I'll give you him.

[spooky laughter]

I can't believe
you did this for me, Gemma.

Of course. I wanted to show you
how proud I am of you.

[sighs]
Well, it means a lot.

Even more than that time
you let me live

in your attic for a month.

You lived in my attic
for a month?

Gemma, Brittany,

I would like you to meet
the pastor's wife

Sister Sabrina.

She puts the attitude
in the beatitudes.

You know, Sister Sabrina,
I used to want to be a nun,

but then I found out
that they couldn't...Okay, let's get started.

Uh...

everyone make yourselves
comfortable.

First, I want to thank
all of you for coming tonight.

It means so much to me
to be able to introduce you

to my sister,
instead of warn you about her.

Anyway, you guys didn't come
here to listen to me.

You came to buy
some clothes

from the hottest new
fashion designer in town.

Brittany, take it away.

Thanks, sis.
You're my inspiration.

And I dedicate
my entire clothing line to you,

because without you,
this would have been impossible.

Speaking of impossible...
[chuckles]

try breaking out of...

this sexy dungeon harness.

And if you buy tonight,
I will throw in...

...this studded spanking paddle
at half price.

Spank!

And for anyone that wants
to have a hell of a night,

this dirty little devil
is up to no good...

...which is why
she needs to be locked up

with these furry handcuffs.

Oh, my Lord.

Don't worry,
they're a lot more comfortable

than the ones cops use.
Trust me.

We have got to do something.

I am trying to get into heaven,

and Sister Sabrina
is my referral.

[grunts]
Okay, uh, well,

uh, thank you, Brittany.

That was, uh, very informative.

Who knew pasties
came in different sizes?

But I'm not done.

I haven't even gotten
to the kinky stuff yet.

Kitchen. Now.

Fine, but you're not even
holding that right.

What the hell was that?

I told you,
the Dirty Little Devil.

Isn't it cute? It even comes
with a vibrating pitchfork.

[trills]

Ugh.

I can't believe
I let you scam me again.

What are you talking about?

You lied to me.

You said that dress
you wore yesterday

was part of your line.

Everything today was X-rated.

Okay, so was that dress.
The straps are edible.

Two bites and you're naked.
[chuckles]

[mouths]

I didn't know
you were such a prude.

I am not a prude.

But I am a principal, and half
the women out there work for me.

And the other half
are from Tina's church.

Because of you,
she might not get into heaven.

You're overreacting.

It's just lingerie.

You know what?
This is my fault.

I never should have trusted you
in the first place.

I don't even know
why I'm surprised anymore.

Okay, that's not fair.

No, what's not fair
is that no matter

how much I try to support you,
you always let me down.

Oh, my God, nothing I do
is enough for you.

I finally find something
that I am good at,

and it's still
not up to the standards

of Little Miss Perfect.

Which also happens
to be the name

of my crotchless angel outfit.

[sighs] Calvin, I'm reading
the killer's diary,

and based on his
childhood, you know,

I'm starting to think
that he's the real victim here.

Well, skip to the end.

I want to know who kills you
first: him or me.

Okay, Calvin,

you can sit there and keep
complaining, or you can

get into the spirit and help
me solve this last puzzle.

We don't have much time left.

Fine. What do you want me to do?

Okay, start looking for clues.

The door has
a keypad lock on it,

which means we need to search
for a four-digit code.

Okay, while you do that,

I'll just start punching in
random numbers.

No, Calvin, don't.

Doing that could trigger
some sort of trap.

Okay, fine, no random numbers.

I'll try the year I was born.

[beeping]

[device buzzes]

All right, I'll try
the year Tina was born.

Calvin, I'm-I'm
telling you, please.

Listen to me, you're just gonna
make things worse.

Dave, there's no way
I could make tonight any worse.

[beeping]

[alarm blaring]

Okay, now, hey,
we don't know this is on me.

I'm so sorry.I had nothing to do with it.

I apologize.It was all her idea.

Please forgive me.I'm offended, too.

I can't believe I let
Brittany do this to me again.

What are you complaining about?

The next dirty devil I see
might be the real one.

And you know what else?

She had the nerve to call me
"Little Miss Perfect."

Which is also the name of her...

Yeah, yeah, I know.

And... what-what
does she even mean by that?

I'm "perfect"
just because I was popular

and got good grades
and dated the quarterback?

Damn, you were that girl?

Forget Brittany,
Ihate you right now.

So what?

I'm supposed to feel bad
just because she feels

like she couldn't
compete with me?

No, you don't need to feel bad.

But you got to admit,

it must have been tough
living in your shadow.

[scoffs]
Okay. Maybe a little.

But I just want what's
best for her. I love her.

And obviously
she loves you, too,

which is why she is desperate
for your approval.

What are you talking about?

Come on, Gemma.
Brittany flew all the way

over here from Michigan, okay?

She said it was about business,
but if you ask me,

what I think she really wanted
was to show you

that she has finally
accomplished something.

You think so?

I know so.

You should have seen
the look on her face

when you were introducing her.

Her smile was brighter than...

this neon ball gag.

I guess.
[chuckles]

For trashy lingerie,
it is pretty well-made.

I mean, look at
the stitching around

where the nipple would be.

Oh, yeah, that's quality work.Yeah.

You know, it strikes
a careful balance

between comfortable
and freaky-deaky.

[laughs]

[knocking on door]

Sister Sabrina?

Please don't kick me
out of your church.

Actually, I came back because
I wanted to make a purchase.

You do?

Well, don't look so surprised.

Church folk get down, too.

I didn't get six kids
wearing a muumuu.

Now, where are those
fuzzy cuffs?

Ooh.
[laughs]

I can't believe this.
Look what you got me into.

Me? I solved every puzzle
except for the last one,

and then you just started
punching in random numbers.

You know, I don't have to stand
here and listen to this.

Oh, okay, fine.

Two can play that game.

Did you just turn
your back on me?

Yeah, I just turned
my back on you.

Doesn't feel very
good, does it?

Hell no, it doesn't, because
now our butts are touching.

You know, I just don't get why,
whenever we do something I want,

you can't even try
to have a good time.

Because you always want
to do something stupid.

Now-now stop moving around.

You're starting to press me
like a panini.

That is exactly the attitude
that I'm talking about.

You know, tonight
could've been fun

if you had at least
given it a chance.

Wh-What do you want from me?

You know I don't like
these puzzle things.

Wh-What, am I supposed to think

that these three splatters
of blood here

and these five splatters
of blood down here

are some kind of clue?

W-Wait a second,

I have the same pattern
over here.

I-I have three and then five.

Hold on.

Maybe my three and five
plus your three-five...

Maybe that's the last code.

Well, punch it in
before time runs out.

[beeping, chimes]

Oh. It worked.

Nice!

[laughs]

How about that,
creepy laughing dude?

Looks like you're not the only
one killing it in here.

Ooh. You smell that, Calvin?

That is the smell of freedom.

No, my friend, that is
the smell of P.F. Chang's.

Now let's go murder
some moo shu.

[knocking on door]

Hey, sis.

If you're here because something
is missing from your house,

it wasn't me this time.

I stole this bracelet
from you years ago.

So what do you want?

I came to apologize.

I said some pretty
terrible things to you

that I wish I could take back.

But you got to understand,
I was really embarrassed.

Well, I'm sorry I embarrass you.

What do I need to do
to get your approval?

Be a doctor? A lawyer?

Just tell me,
because I know a guy,

and I can get
a license tomorrow.

You don't need my approval.

I know I don't need it.

But it doesn't mean
I don't want it.

Gemma, you're my big sister.

I look up to you.

I'm sorry.

Instead of supporting you, I got
caught up in my own feelings

when I should've been
thinking about yours.

It's okay.

No, it isn't.

You are doing something
with your life,

and you're really good at it.

And I am really proud
to be your big sister.

You really mean it?

Absolutely.

And if I ever say anything

that makes you feel
any different,

just slap one
of your leather muzzles on me.

Thanks, Gem,
that means the world.

And I'm really sorry
I made you look bad

in front of all
those people from work.

Actually, you didn't.

What is this?

A list of orders.

Turns out I work
with a bunch of freaks.

Oh, hey, babe.

How was the escape room
with Dave?

Well, we actually had
a pretty good time.

If I'm ever really trapped
in a serial killer's basement,

I hope Dave's there with me.

How was the fashion party?
Did you buy anything?

Well, as a matter of fact,

I did pick up a
little something.

Whoa.

Babe, I think I saw one of those
in the serial killer's basement.

[laughs]

Yeah. You might have
escaped from him,

but you're not gonna
escape from me.

I was a little bloated
from the Chinese food.

But I can rally.

Okay, here we go. Wait, wait.

Turn it on the other side.

Okay, okay. All right.Okay, there we go.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, come on.Hey, Calvin,

you left your wallet in the...

Get out, Dave.

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