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Previously on Scream Queens...
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00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:03,170
I'm afraid you have kuru.
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No one must know.
4
00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:05,650
If the board finds out,
5
00:00:05,690 --> 00:00:07,450
[over headphones]: they'll think
I'm unfit to run the hospital.
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HESTER: Massacres tend to
happen in this hospital
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00:00:10,190 --> 00:00:11,220
on Halloween night.
8
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You tried to kill me with punch?!
9
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- Bitch, just as soon as I get...
- [electricity crackles]
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CHANEL #5: Help!
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I could've swore I
heard Chanel #5 scream.
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00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:27,940
How did you hear her
from across the hospital?
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[scream in distance]
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She's drawn to Chanel #5's pain
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00:00:30,610 --> 00:00:32,750
like a shark to blood in the water.
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She's developed a
fine-tuned addiction to it.
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00:00:35,210 --> 00:00:36,380
[all gasp]
18
00:00:36,450 --> 00:00:38,780
[groaning weakly]
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Come on. Help me. Help me.
20
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- She's dead.
- [gasps]
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ZAYDAY: Oh, God, that's horrible.
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Um, guys,
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passing out...
24
00:00:54,730 --> 00:00:57,230
If the killer can take out
a special agent of the FBI,
25
00:00:57,300 --> 00:00:58,550
are any of us safe?
26
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,010
The miracle is this
didn't hit a vital organ.
27
00:01:01,030 --> 00:01:03,270
Oh, my God, I'm passing out.
28
00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:06,440
For the love of God,
Number Five, Denise is dead!
29
00:01:06,470 --> 00:01:09,840
Can you maybe let us all have
two minutes that isn't about you?
30
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We have to take this body
and throw her in the swamp.
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What?!
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We can't just dump her in the swamp!
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Denise was our friend!
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MUNSCH: I loved Denise as
much as the rest of you,
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00:01:20,060 --> 00:01:21,950
which, admittedly, wasn't that much.
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00:01:21,970 --> 00:01:23,620
We just can't let her death have a...
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00:01:23,690 --> 00:01:26,840
negative impact on the
work being done here.
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I mean, if word got out that
a FBI agent was killed here,
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they would just shut us down!
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And that means no patients.
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00:01:34,570 --> 00:01:39,250
And the life-saving research
that we are doing here would end.
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00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:41,830
And we can't have that...
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can we, Zayday?!
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00:01:44,110 --> 00:01:46,610
Even if I wanted to
dump her in the swamp,
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don't you think the Feds are
gonna come looking for her?
46
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But then I will tell whomever comes
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that Denise just took off
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on a secret mission for some...
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00:01:56,530 --> 00:01:58,930
top secret shadow
50
00:01:58,990 --> 00:02:01,520
organization within the FBI.
51
00:02:01,550 --> 00:02:03,660
Now, somebody get me a gurney.
52
00:02:03,730 --> 00:02:07,440
Because Special Agent Denise
Hemphill's going for a little swim.
53
00:02:07,490 --> 00:02:09,900
[men screaming in distance]
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CHANEL #5: Uh, guys? Guys?
55
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Wait, really?
56
00:02:14,910 --> 00:02:16,040
Guys! [groans]
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[creaking]
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ZAYDAY: Oh, my God.
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00:02:24,950 --> 00:02:26,480
Who could have done this?
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00:02:26,550 --> 00:02:29,100
We just need to find the
guy dressed as Aaron Burr.
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It's gonna be pretty hard to
cover this up, Dean Munsch.
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Girls... we have no choice,
I have to call the authorities.
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Go change out of your costumes.
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No. Zayday.
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I need you to help with something first.
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Come with me.
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Remind me when we're done here,
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I must send someone up
to help poor Chanel #5.
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00:02:50,510 --> 00:02:53,750
I told you, I'm not dumping
Denise's body in the swamp.
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Well, of course not.
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- She's still alive.
- What?
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- When did you know she was alive?
- When I took her pulse.
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She had the faintest heartbeat.
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00:03:02,030 --> 00:03:04,190
I mean not enough to
resuscitate her, of course.
75
00:03:04,210 --> 00:03:05,720
She's basically brain-dead.
76
00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:07,550
And you were still gonna
throw her in the swamp?
77
00:03:07,570 --> 00:03:09,140
No, no, no. That isn't an option.
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00:03:09,170 --> 00:03:12,470
What, with the kind of massacre
that just occurred upstairs,
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I can't be sure that
they're not gonna dredge
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or even drain the swamp
during their investigation.
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00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:19,900
But rest assured, Denise
did not die in vain.
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00:03:19,930 --> 00:03:21,700
She's going to be an integral part
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of our little "save my
life" research project.
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Come, see-see it.
85
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[panting]: This...
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00:03:28,470 --> 00:03:30,450
is the secret cryogenic chamber
87
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I had built with just a small
portion of the Radwell fortune.
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We're gonna put Denise in
here and give this baby...
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00:03:36,460 --> 00:03:38,660
a little test drive just
to make sure it works,
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00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,160
just in case my condition proves fatal
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00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:42,760
before we can find a cure.
92
00:03:42,830 --> 00:03:44,410
This doesn't feel right.
93
00:03:44,430 --> 00:03:47,290
Well... we could just
take Denise upstairs
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00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:48,810
and hook her up to a feeding tube
95
00:03:48,830 --> 00:03:51,300
and watch her as she
slowly deteriorates.
96
00:03:51,370 --> 00:03:54,970
Or we can put Denise
in here, in the freezer,
97
00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,620
until they find a cure
for being electrocuted.
98
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[squeaking]
99
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[mechanical whirring]
100
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[panting]
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Zayday.
102
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It's getting worse.
103
00:04:18,230 --> 00:04:20,540
Please, Zayday, help me.
104
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I don't want to end up
in that tank like Denise.
105
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[mechanical whirring growing louder]
106
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Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com
107
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It worked.
108
00:04:36,050 --> 00:04:37,550
I peed out all the blue.
109
00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:39,560
My butt is still really blue, though,
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00:04:39,620 --> 00:04:41,640
so I kind of look like a blonde baboon.
111
00:04:41,670 --> 00:04:42,700
Mm.
112
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I gave you a healthy
dosage of deferasirox.
113
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It's a chelation solution
that sort of leeches out the...
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00:04:48,550 --> 00:04:51,460
heavy metals in the organs,
and especially the skin,
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00:04:51,490 --> 00:04:53,280
and helps you pee 'em out.
116
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- [chuckles]
- Now, if you've noticed some...
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00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:57,720
silver in the fleshy part
of your butt, it'll...
118
00:04:57,740 --> 00:04:59,760
it'll normalize soon, I promise.
119
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I'm sorry about the,
uh, silver poisoning.
120
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:04,730
I mean, I have no idea who did that.
121
00:05:04,770 --> 00:05:06,870
I mean, someone must have
messed with my solution.
122
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,520
Could have been anyone, really.
123
00:05:08,550 --> 00:05:09,830
They're all jealous of you.
124
00:05:09,850 --> 00:05:12,220
It was probably Dean BoxMunsch.
125
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:14,540
I mean, she wanted to make
sure her and her gray pubes
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00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,160
had you all to herself.
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00:05:16,180 --> 00:05:19,460
Well, first of all, she's
rockin' a full Kojak down there.
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00:05:19,550 --> 00:05:22,160
And second, I really appreciate
that everyone's rooting
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00:05:22,190 --> 00:05:23,660
for me and her to be
the new power couple.
130
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:27,330
And third, the sex was exquisite.
131
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I mean, the best I've had since I
spent the weekend with Sean Young
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- [groans]
- right when she started her crazy phase.
133
00:05:33,270 --> 00:05:35,380
Look, the only reason
why I got busy with Munsch
134
00:05:35,410 --> 00:05:38,530
is because I was bummed out
that I lost the chance with you.
135
00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:40,660
I don't know.
136
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:43,340
I mean, you guys are
more age-appropriate.
137
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,680
You do realize you were, like,
30 when I was born, right?
138
00:05:45,710 --> 00:05:46,900
[elevator bell dings]
139
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:50,850
Besides, I don't know if I can love
anyone after what happened with Chad.
140
00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,220
I mean... I need time.
141
00:05:53,290 --> 00:05:54,930
Take all you need.
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00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:56,390
- Not really.
- [laughs]
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I probably only need a couple hours.
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I have, like, zero
emotional object permanence.
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MUNSCH: It had finally happened.
146
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The sword of Damocles had fallen.
147
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,370
[camera shutter clicking]
148
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:14,850
I finally knew what it felt like
149
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- to be Freddy Krueger.
- [camera shutter clicking]
150
00:06:17,180 --> 00:06:21,460
Because I, Cathy Munsch, was
walking through a nightmare.
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WOMAN: Dr. Munsch, what do you
have to say about these murders?
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MUNSCH: I knew in that moment
my dream had been shattered.
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The C.U.R.E. Institute was dead,
154
00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:32,040
and I wasn't far behind.
155
00:06:38,570 --> 00:06:43,000
But one week later, something
equally unexpected happened.
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00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,720
The hospital was thriving.
157
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:49,280
As it turns out, the
old adage is true...
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there is no such thing as bad press.
159
00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:53,910
News reports of the murders
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gave us hundreds of
hours of free publicity.
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And medical anomalies
from all across the world
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00:07:00,070 --> 00:07:02,250
started coming out of the woodwork.
163
00:07:02,270 --> 00:07:05,800
And they weren't worried about being
knocked off by a serial killer.
164
00:07:05,830 --> 00:07:07,660
Any risk was worth the miracle
165
00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:11,810
of maybe having their horrible
physical fates reversed.
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00:07:12,380 --> 00:07:14,990
- Excuse me, Dean Munsch.
- [groans] Yes.
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What, with the current
influx of patients...
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00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:17,550
MUNSCH: This bitch...
169
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:20,000
I hired Nurse Hoffel to
make my job easier...
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00:07:20,030 --> 00:07:21,820
i.e. showing me how to run a hospital...
171
00:07:21,850 --> 00:07:25,510
and now, this pill-popping battle
axe thinks she's invaluable.
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00:07:25,530 --> 00:07:29,230
An expenditure like that should really
be run past the board of directors.
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00:07:29,630 --> 00:07:31,250
I'll look into it.
174
00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:33,530
The good news is that we were busy.
175
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So many patients to meet.
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Well, my name's Marguerite Honeywell.
177
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I suffer from Marfan Syndrome.
178
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Wow. That name is really
kind of a mouthful.
179
00:07:43,190 --> 00:07:44,710
Do you mind if I called you "Marfan"?
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00:07:44,740 --> 00:07:47,870
Um... yes, actually, I would.
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00:07:47,890 --> 00:07:49,010
MUNSCH: Now, Daria,
182
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,560
it says here that you were diagnosed
183
00:07:50,580 --> 00:07:53,150
with Moebius Syndrome in 2013.
184
00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:55,160
- Is that right?
- That's right.
185
00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:57,320
I do online beauty tutorials,
186
00:07:57,350 --> 00:08:00,830
and my total inability to
move any part of my face
187
00:08:00,890 --> 00:08:04,430
is really getting savaged
in the comments section.
188
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:07,780
MUNSCH: But there was one
case that really intrigued me.
189
00:08:08,310 --> 00:08:11,480
WOMAN [British accent]: I must say that
coming here today was not my decision,
190
00:08:11,540 --> 00:08:13,840
but rather that of my
employers at the United Nations.
191
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,510
Wait. You work at the United Nations?
192
00:08:15,570 --> 00:08:17,580
That's really cool. I've
always wanted to go there.
193
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,680
[Swedish accent]: I worked in the
diplomatic corps as an interpreter
194
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,710
for close to 20 years now.
195
00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:24,650
And I'm the model of perfect health,
196
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,750
so I have no idea why I'm even here.
197
00:08:26,780 --> 00:08:27,990
CHANEL: Wait. I'm
sorry. Are you Swedish?
198
00:08:28,010 --> 00:08:29,830
- I thought you were from the U.K.
- No.
199
00:08:29,860 --> 00:08:31,880
[French accent]: I'm
from Minnesota originally.
200
00:08:31,890 --> 00:08:33,890
Maybe that's what you are picking up on.
201
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:37,280
My husband says I sound like I'm
straight out of the movie Fargo.
202
00:08:37,510 --> 00:08:40,720
MUNSCH: Wow. Inability
to land a single accent.
203
00:08:40,750 --> 00:08:42,090
It's fascinating.
204
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:45,430
[Australian accent]: Now, I did
slip and fall a few weeks ago,
205
00:08:45,450 --> 00:08:47,820
and I was taken to hospital,
206
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,440
but they said it was
just a mild concussion,
207
00:08:49,470 --> 00:08:51,310
and I was released that afternoon.
208
00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:52,880
When-when you're talking,
209
00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:56,630
are you aware of the way
you talk sort of... shifting?
210
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:58,720
[with Russian accent]:
I speak the way I speak.
211
00:08:58,780 --> 00:09:00,520
I don't know what you are getting at.
212
00:09:00,590 --> 00:09:01,720
Can I just say...
213
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:03,720
I think it's fascinating that
she's doing all these accents,
214
00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:06,080
but she hasn't done one that
anyone could deem offensive.
215
00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:08,850
[with Indian accent]: Accent? Why does
everybody keep bringing up my accent?
216
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,970
I told you, I am from the Midwest.
217
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,230
Okay. Never mind.
218
00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:15,850
Ms. Hotchkiss, I am
afraid at this point,
219
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,590
we do not know what it is
you may have or not have,
220
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:22,230
nor if there is a treatment
or a cure, but rest assured,
221
00:09:22,260 --> 00:09:25,740
with all the resources available
here at the C.U.R.E. Institute,
222
00:09:25,810 --> 00:09:29,190
we will not stop until we find one.
223
00:09:29,490 --> 00:09:30,830
Right, team?
224
00:09:34,850 --> 00:09:37,750
Hey, this can't be the most
sanitary way to clean bedpans.
225
00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:41,270
I mean, aren't there rules
and... laws and stuff?
226
00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:44,740
A few weeks ago, I was in charge
of giving fentanyl to a patient,
227
00:09:44,770 --> 00:09:47,340
who, based on Zayday's recommendation,
was about to get a lobotomy.
228
00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:48,790
Also, we dumped a body in the swamp,
229
00:09:48,810 --> 00:09:50,930
so I don't really think rules
are a priority around here.
230
00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:53,140
Hello, non-doctor idiots.
231
00:09:53,210 --> 00:09:56,460
I'm sorry to interrupt your
hard work cleaning bedpans...
232
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:59,980
the only thing you're qualified at
any other hospital on Planet Earth.
233
00:10:00,110 --> 00:10:02,390
You... Dead Inside...
234
00:10:02,420 --> 00:10:05,650
I need you to rinse and
sanitize these catheter tubes.
235
00:10:05,670 --> 00:10:06,980
Oh, careful.
236
00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:10,050
Some of 'em are still sort of juicy.
237
00:10:10,730 --> 00:10:13,860
And I'm gonna need you to
strain these fecal samples,
238
00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:15,800
place them in saline solution,
239
00:10:15,860 --> 00:10:18,500
and then load them in
enemas for fecal transplant.
240
00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:20,970
Ew! No, I'm not doing that!
241
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,870
Sorry, Dr. Tiny Bitch,
242
00:10:22,930 --> 00:10:25,370
but Crohn's disease
isn't gonna cure itself.
243
00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:26,870
[gasps]
244
00:10:26,940 --> 00:10:29,510
Why are you wearing
sunglasses? Are you hung over?
245
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,840
Pethidine doesn't give you a hangover.
246
00:10:34,870 --> 00:10:36,400
That's why I love it so much.
247
00:10:36,430 --> 00:10:39,580
But it's great to manage moderate
to severe pains in the ass
248
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:42,380
who don't belong within
ten miles of a hospital.
249
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:47,150
Oh. I also need you
to get a semen sample
250
00:10:47,170 --> 00:10:50,430
from the guy in the coma in room 1219.
251
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:52,910
His ex-wife's just
dying to pull the plug.
252
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,030
She's claiming their kid isn't his.
253
00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:57,200
How am I supposed to get his semen?
254
00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,500
[whispering]: I think you know.
255
00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:03,120
[chuckles] Catch you later, bitches.
256
00:11:03,270 --> 00:11:04,540
[Chanel grunts]
257
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,500
CHANEL: That is it! I am not
cleaning one more pooey bedpan.
258
00:11:11,530 --> 00:11:12,950
Number Three, finish
cleaning all of these,
259
00:11:12,980 --> 00:11:15,040
and then, bring me a latte
and a scone at the Korean spa.
260
00:11:15,070 --> 00:11:17,470
I am getting a manicure
and a vag steaming.
261
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:18,690
No way.
262
00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:21,930
If anyone's vag is getting
steamed, it's my vag.
263
00:11:21,950 --> 00:11:23,890
[crying]: This is all just so wrong.
264
00:11:23,910 --> 00:11:27,550
I mean, an Oberlin hasn't
worked in over 300 years.
265
00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:29,830
We have been genetically
perfected over centuries
266
00:11:29,850 --> 00:11:32,590
of ordering people around
to be good at only one thing.
267
00:11:32,660 --> 00:11:34,840
Ordering people around.
268
00:11:36,450 --> 00:11:37,550
That's it.
269
00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:39,540
The reason we have lost
the will to live is because
270
00:11:39,570 --> 00:11:42,010
what's the point of living if we
don't have people to boss around?
271
00:11:42,030 --> 00:11:44,700
Who are we if we don't
have pledges to torture
272
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:46,270
and make do stuff for us?
273
00:11:46,340 --> 00:11:47,970
How are we supposed to recruit pledges?
274
00:11:47,980 --> 00:11:49,480
We're not in a sorority anymore.
275
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:53,240
This hospital is suddenly
full of gross, sick people.
276
00:11:53,260 --> 00:11:56,870
I mean, way too many for the
limited staff we have now.
277
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:58,890
Dean Munsch and Nurse Hoffel
need to hire more people,
278
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:00,440
so we're gonna do it for them.
279
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:02,120
We'll train them to be Chanels
280
00:12:02,140 --> 00:12:03,940
and make them our minions.
281
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:05,320
I mean, if I learned anything
282
00:12:05,340 --> 00:12:07,410
from surviving the last serial
killer who tried to kill us,
283
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,440
it's that you always need
a group of less attractive,
284
00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:11,690
less popular, less
interesting people around
285
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:13,260
for the killer to kill before you.
286
00:12:13,330 --> 00:12:16,100
Okay, that is genius.
287
00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:18,600
Which is why I'm the
brains of this operation.
288
00:12:18,610 --> 00:12:19,780
Now let's hit the spa.
289
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,470
These bedpans can wait until we find
290
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,570
less attractive people
around to clean them.
291
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:26,040
- [knocking]
- Yes!
292
00:12:29,030 --> 00:12:31,420
Dean Munsch, there's something
I need to talk to you about.
293
00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:33,490
Mm-hmm. What is it?
294
00:12:33,550 --> 00:12:34,710
It's Chamberlain.
295
00:12:34,740 --> 00:12:37,890
I have my suspicions that he's
the baby in the belly from 1985,
296
00:12:37,950 --> 00:12:39,480
and it's driving me crazy.
297
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:41,650
'cause I need to find out
how you found him and...
298
00:12:41,670 --> 00:12:42,950
what his interview was like?
299
00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:44,120
Who's Chamberlain?
300
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,750
Chamberlain, the candy striper
you hired from your Craigslist ad?
301
00:12:46,780 --> 00:12:48,340
We don't have a candy striper.
302
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:51,130
And I would never take
an ad out on Craigslist.
303
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:54,080
That's where married men score
meth and hook up with each other.
304
00:12:54,110 --> 00:12:56,440
So wait. You're saying
you didn't hire him?
305
00:12:56,470 --> 00:12:59,810
Big guy, African-American,
loveable, a bit of a stalker?
306
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,360
Oh, that guy.
307
00:13:01,370 --> 00:13:04,110
I thought he was Dr.
Brock Holt's assistant.
308
00:13:04,180 --> 00:13:07,430
Dr. Holt doesn't have an assistant.
309
00:13:08,430 --> 00:13:10,340
I mean, now he's my prime suspect.
310
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:11,950
Oh, you think?
311
00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:14,320
An adult man wanders into a hospital
312
00:13:14,390 --> 00:13:17,670
and pretends to have a
weird volunteer position...
313
00:13:17,700 --> 00:13:20,860
that's almost exclusively
reserved for young girls?
314
00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:23,190
It might not even be a thing anymore.
315
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:24,940
You think...
316
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:27,490
that he might have something to do...
317
00:13:27,510 --> 00:13:28,640
with mass murder?
318
00:13:28,660 --> 00:13:31,000
I'm gonna get to the bottom of it.
319
00:13:31,050 --> 00:13:32,440
If we're gonna find
out who that baby is,
320
00:13:32,470 --> 00:13:34,590
we're gonna need to
find the mother first.
321
00:13:35,140 --> 00:13:37,080
[sighs]
322
00:13:38,690 --> 00:13:40,150
[door closes, door opens]
323
00:13:43,050 --> 00:13:47,320
Come on, Mama, let's
find out where you are.
324
00:13:52,260 --> 00:13:53,760
[thudding]
325
00:13:53,830 --> 00:13:55,290
- Hello?
- WOMAN: [groans]
326
00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,030
Help me.
327
00:14:00,820 --> 00:14:02,260
Oh, my gosh!
328
00:14:02,350 --> 00:14:04,970
Chanel #5, what happened?
329
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:09,220
Well, I was just trying to get up
to get a teaspoon of mayonnaise,
330
00:14:09,250 --> 00:14:11,150
and then, I tripped,
and I couldn't get up.
331
00:14:11,170 --> 00:14:14,650
What are you even doing here?
You should be in the hospital.
332
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,090
Yes, I should be in the hospital!
333
00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:22,580
I-I just had a machete thrust
nine inches into my thorax,
334
00:14:22,610 --> 00:14:25,400
breaking three ribs,
puncturing my left lung
335
00:14:25,430 --> 00:14:27,550
and entirely severing
my right trapezoidal.
336
00:14:27,580 --> 00:14:30,360
- I should be in the ICU.
- That's where I thought you were.
337
00:14:30,390 --> 00:14:32,680
Oh, I was, until Chanel
wheeled me in here.
338
00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:35,960
But then she told me it was just
that I was more convenient to insult.
339
00:14:35,970 --> 00:14:37,940
In the meantime, no one is taking care
340
00:14:37,970 --> 00:14:40,540
of my actual life-threatening injury!
341
00:14:40,610 --> 00:14:44,910
I have received exactly
zero Edible Arrangements.
342
00:14:44,940 --> 00:14:48,150
Well, listen, I will be
happy to take care of you.
343
00:14:48,460 --> 00:14:50,780
And in return, I could
really use your help.
344
00:14:50,850 --> 00:14:52,380
[scoffs] Help with what?
345
00:14:52,410 --> 00:14:54,640
We're gonna find the mother
who was pregnant in the hospital
346
00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:56,690
on Halloween in 1985.
347
00:14:56,710 --> 00:14:58,390
I'm thinking we can head
down to the police station
348
00:14:58,420 --> 00:15:00,060
and try to access the archives.
349
00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:02,730
I mean, if her husband went missing,
she would have filed a report, right?
350
00:15:02,750 --> 00:15:04,870
I don't know. I mean, I
don't really think in a way
351
00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:07,240
- ... that is helpful to anyone.
- Just come on!
352
00:15:08,970 --> 00:15:10,650
[groaning]
353
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:19,860
I need an update Number Three.
354
00:15:19,890 --> 00:15:21,420
Any responses?
355
00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:23,610
What about the Chanel wait list?
356
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,840
No responses, and everyone on
the Chanel wait list passed.
357
00:15:26,870 --> 00:15:28,060
What is happening?!
358
00:15:28,090 --> 00:15:30,330
Two years ago, if I
had posted on my socials
359
00:15:30,340 --> 00:15:33,610
that we were accepting
applications for new Chanels,
360
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:37,510
we'd have throngs of skinny, rich
bitches banging down our door!
361
00:15:37,580 --> 00:15:41,290
I just don't understand why
we even need any more Chanels.
362
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:44,420
I told you, cow. We need cannon fodder.
363
00:15:44,450 --> 00:15:46,680
We need new Chanels for
the Green Meanie to attack
364
00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:47,650
so he doesn't murder us!
365
00:15:47,690 --> 00:15:50,020
Uh, you already have that, Chanel.
366
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,430
Her name is... me!
367
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:53,630
The Green Meanie's already
tried to murder me twice.
368
00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:56,210
Yeah, and pretty soon, he's
probably going to succeed,
369
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,580
and then where will we be, Number Five?
370
00:15:58,860 --> 00:16:01,390
It's time to start
taking desperate measures.
371
00:16:01,790 --> 00:16:03,640
We need to start interviewing patients.
372
00:16:03,670 --> 00:16:05,790
Why do you think you'd
make a good Chanel?
373
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,820
Um, I don't, actually.
374
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,080
I don't really know what
you're talking about.
375
00:16:10,150 --> 00:16:12,930
You said you had some important
information about my condition.
376
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,040
No, I do have very
important information.
377
00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:16,540
Your condition is about to improve
378
00:16:16,570 --> 00:16:18,890
by potentially becoming a Chanel.
379
00:16:18,910 --> 00:16:20,350
I don't understand.
380
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:21,860
What's a Chanel?
381
00:16:21,930 --> 00:16:24,290
Duh. Us. We're Chanels.
382
00:16:24,310 --> 00:16:26,070
You like money, right?
And telling it like it is?
383
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:27,430
Yeah, I guess.
384
00:16:27,460 --> 00:16:29,300
It's done. Congratulations.
385
00:16:29,370 --> 00:16:31,040
You're a Chanel.
386
00:16:31,220 --> 00:16:33,260
How long would it take
you to run a full sprint?
387
00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:34,390
I'm sorry?
388
00:16:34,420 --> 00:16:36,460
Like if a grown man was
chasing you with a big stick
389
00:16:36,490 --> 00:16:38,030
that's shaped like a knife
but made out of metal?
390
00:16:38,060 --> 00:16:39,640
So, a knife?
391
00:16:39,660 --> 00:16:41,270
Yeah. Do you think you could outrun him?
392
00:16:41,310 --> 00:16:43,980
- Probably not.
- Congratulations.
393
00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:45,650
You're a Chanel.
394
00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:48,980
Let's go find the next potential Chanel.
395
00:16:49,010 --> 00:16:50,180
There aren't anymore. That's it.
396
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,100
- Those were all the patients.
- What?!
397
00:16:52,270 --> 00:16:54,050
Damn it, Number Three! We
need at least one more Chanel
398
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,100
to double our chances of survival!
399
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,140
[sighs]
400
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:58,550
We're gonna have to do the unthinkable.
401
00:16:58,570 --> 00:16:59,820
No, not him.
402
00:16:59,850 --> 00:17:01,570
Look, I don't like it any
more than you do, Number Three.
403
00:17:01,590 --> 00:17:03,710
- [sighs]
- We're gonna have to call Tristan.
404
00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:05,100
We first learned about Tristan
405
00:17:05,130 --> 00:17:07,640
when we were appealing
our murder conviction.
406
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,590
Some psycho was writing
these handwritten novels
407
00:17:10,610 --> 00:17:12,180
where all the Chanels were lesbians,
408
00:17:12,210 --> 00:17:14,560
and all we did was have
sex with each other.
409
00:17:15,570 --> 00:17:17,170
This is for you.
410
00:17:22,260 --> 00:17:25,230
"Hey, Chanel. My name's
Tristan St. Pierre,
411
00:17:25,260 --> 00:17:27,140
"and I'm your biggest fan.
412
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:28,630
"I heard about your murder trial,
413
00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:32,180
"so I thought I'd send you
some of my Chanel fan fiction.
414
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:33,770
"Enjoy!"
415
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,600
CHANEL: I didn't think twice about it,
416
00:17:35,670 --> 00:17:38,120
and then, three weeks later...
417
00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:39,860
- [phone chimes]
- "Hey Chanel!
418
00:17:39,870 --> 00:17:40,940
"It's Tristan!!
419
00:17:40,990 --> 00:17:42,860
"Congrats on your acquittal!
420
00:17:42,890 --> 00:17:45,460
"What did you think of my fan fiction?"
421
00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:47,820
[phone chimes]
422
00:17:47,930 --> 00:17:49,250
"Your lawyer gave me your number.
423
00:17:49,310 --> 00:17:51,050
"I hope that's okay!!"
424
00:17:52,510 --> 00:17:53,520
[phone chimes]
425
00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:56,350
[overlapping voices
reading text messages]
426
00:18:01,450 --> 00:18:02,990
TRISTAN: "... and I love it."
427
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,990
CHANEL: That I was
turning to Tristan now,
428
00:18:05,020 --> 00:18:07,120
meant that it was dark times indeed.
429
00:18:09,570 --> 00:18:12,540
I don't understand
what's happening here.
430
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,110
Who are these people?
431
00:18:14,140 --> 00:18:16,050
Chanel #7 and 8,
432
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,350
Number Five, show some respect.
433
00:18:18,370 --> 00:18:20,310
One has Abe Lincoln disease,
434
00:18:20,330 --> 00:18:21,940
and the other one can't
move her face or something
435
00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:23,900
and is torture to talk to.
436
00:18:24,050 --> 00:18:26,260
Marfan, get out of the way.
437
00:18:26,290 --> 00:18:27,640
Who is that you're talking to?
438
00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:31,800
Number Five, may I
introduce Chanel Pour Homme?
439
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,320
What?! No. Okay, this is not allowed!
440
00:18:45,350 --> 00:18:49,190
A Chanel who is male and gay? I mean,
that's simply out of the question!
441
00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:51,470
He's gonna steal all of
our makeup and besides,
442
00:18:51,490 --> 00:18:53,380
Chanel, he seems like a serial killer.
443
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,000
Okay, well, there's really
no need to keep whispering,
444
00:18:55,030 --> 00:18:56,320
because everybody heard that!
445
00:18:56,370 --> 00:18:58,420
And besides, gays don't murder people.
446
00:18:58,430 --> 00:19:00,310
I mean, they're a-a peaceful,
447
00:19:00,330 --> 00:19:01,700
- musical people, right?
- Mm-hmm.
448
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,170
Name me one gay serial killer.
449
00:19:03,190 --> 00:19:05,090
John Wayne Gacy, Jeffrey Dahmer.
450
00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:06,790
It's a good bet one of
those Menendez brothers
451
00:19:06,820 --> 00:19:08,420
was crawling into bed
with the other one, too.
452
00:19:08,430 --> 00:19:09,880
Okay, fine. You know what?
453
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:11,680
Maybe he is a serial killer.
454
00:19:11,710 --> 00:19:13,160
But he's also a twee,
455
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,940
which means we could
easily fight him off.
456
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,550
- Mm-hmm.
- And Number Three and I
457
00:19:16,580 --> 00:19:18,710
aren't cleaning your
bedpans, Number Five.
458
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,090
Plus, we should all
feel a little safer now
459
00:19:21,110 --> 00:19:24,460
that we're surrounded by our new
servants, slash human shields.
460
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:26,880
- Wait. Your what?
- A toast.
461
00:19:26,910 --> 00:19:29,210
To Number Seven, Number Eight...
462
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,560
- ... and Chanel pour Homme.
- Mm-hmm.
463
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:36,450
CASSIDY: Okay, so,
464
00:19:36,470 --> 00:19:38,210
you were in the U.N. commissary,
465
00:19:38,230 --> 00:19:40,500
and it was lunchtime you said?
466
00:19:40,540 --> 00:19:42,710
[Southern accent]: Yes, I-I
slipped on a plantain heel,
467
00:19:42,740 --> 00:19:45,630
and I hit my head on the linoleum floor.
468
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:46,810
I told you, now
469
00:19:46,830 --> 00:19:48,310
- I don't know how many times...
- Ms. Hotchkiss,
470
00:19:48,340 --> 00:19:50,230
you seem to be unaware of the fact
471
00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:53,490
that each time you speak,
you take on a different accent.
472
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,700
- [Belgian accent]: What did you say?
- He's right.
473
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:57,830
In the last ten minutes, you've done
474
00:19:57,850 --> 00:19:59,870
Texan, Austrian, Norwegian, Vietnamese,
475
00:19:59,890 --> 00:20:01,330
Algerian, Botswanan, Tajik
476
00:20:01,350 --> 00:20:03,950
and something that sort of
sounded like Bernie Sanders.
477
00:20:04,180 --> 00:20:06,580
Foreign Accent Syndrome...
that's what she has.
478
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,000
There's no way there's actually
479
00:20:08,010 --> 00:20:09,140
something called
"Foreign Accent Syndrome."
480
00:20:09,170 --> 00:20:12,010
I spent the whole night going
through the medical files,
481
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,480
going through white papers.
482
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:15,390
Foreign Accent Syndrome is a real thing.
483
00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:16,850
Although it's extremely rare and
484
00:20:16,890 --> 00:20:19,650
usually associated with stroke
or traumatic brain injury.
485
00:20:19,910 --> 00:20:21,080
See, right here.
486
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:23,260
First condition was identified in 1907.
487
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:26,070
61 cases have been reported since 1941.
488
00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:27,170
[Scottish accent]: Now wait a minute.
489
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:28,820
Are you saying I
might have had a stroke?
490
00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:31,230
[Scottish accent]: No.
You didn't have a stroke.
491
00:20:31,290 --> 00:20:34,020
Did I just say that in sort
of a weird Scottish accent?
492
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,670
[Irish accent]: Yes. Why
did your accent just change?
493
00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:39,400
[Irish accent]: Maybe
it's contagious. Wait.
494
00:20:39,470 --> 00:20:42,490
Did I just say that in
a weird Irish accent?
495
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:46,020
[Irish accent]: Sweet mother
in heaven. It is contagious.
496
00:20:46,030 --> 00:20:47,950
[Scottish accent]: Is
that a Canadian accent?
497
00:20:47,970 --> 00:20:50,930
Has this disease somehow
mutated and gone viral?
498
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,680
Not Internet viral. Contagion viral.
499
00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:55,270
[Irish accent]: Oh, crap.
500
00:20:55,290 --> 00:20:57,580
This must be what happened to Madonna.
501
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,290
We need to call her.
502
00:21:01,940 --> 00:21:03,160
- Thank you, Tristan.
- Mm-hmm.
503
00:21:03,180 --> 00:21:04,840
Now, stay close
504
00:21:04,870 --> 00:21:06,310
in case I need my face wiped
505
00:21:06,340 --> 00:21:08,990
or to have pieces of
arugula picked from my teeth.
506
00:21:10,130 --> 00:21:11,430
Tristan, what is this?
507
00:21:11,460 --> 00:21:13,310
It's some new fan fiction.
508
00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:15,980
All of these new stories
are just bursting out of me
509
00:21:16,010 --> 00:21:17,590
in thick ropes of inspiration.
510
00:21:17,620 --> 00:21:19,700
I can't stop writing.
511
00:21:20,910 --> 00:21:22,910
- What is on your lips?
- Nothing.
512
00:21:22,940 --> 00:21:24,990
- Did you steal my lipstick?
- No.
513
00:21:25,430 --> 00:21:27,190
That is Koko K on your lips.
514
00:21:27,220 --> 00:21:29,620
It is not. I wouldn't dare
steal any of your makeup.
515
00:21:29,660 --> 00:21:32,060
It's all expired, and who knows
what's living on your lips.
516
00:21:32,090 --> 00:21:34,820
[gasps] How dare you!
517
00:21:35,030 --> 00:21:37,720
Just for that, I'm gonna make
you go get me more sweatpants.
518
00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:39,320
These ones are full of farts.
519
00:21:39,390 --> 00:21:41,470
ZAYDAY: Guys! Stop arguing.
520
00:21:41,490 --> 00:21:44,510
Look what I found in the file we
got from the police department.
521
00:21:44,530 --> 00:21:48,310
A Jane Hollis filled out a missing
persons report for her husband Bill
522
00:21:48,340 --> 00:21:51,210
November 2, 1985.
523
00:21:51,710 --> 00:21:55,850
That's exactly 48 hours after that nurse
said she threw the patient in the swamp.
524
00:21:55,980 --> 00:21:57,680
I'm thinking if we
find this Jane Hollis,
525
00:21:57,700 --> 00:21:59,760
we might be able to figure
out who the killer is.
526
00:22:00,260 --> 00:22:02,350
Huh, there's an address
in the file, Number Five.
527
00:22:02,420 --> 00:22:04,650
Maybe if we're lucky,
she still lives there.
528
00:22:05,390 --> 00:22:06,790
[crickets chirring]
529
00:22:08,540 --> 00:22:09,560
[beep]
530
00:22:10,150 --> 00:22:12,590
[eerie moaning]
531
00:22:12,620 --> 00:22:15,130
[rhythmic beeping]
532
00:22:20,330 --> 00:22:22,270
[woman moaning]
533
00:22:25,090 --> 00:22:26,670
Hello?
534
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,370
[moaning continues]
535
00:22:34,050 --> 00:22:36,900
[moaning continues]
536
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,340
WOMAN [whispering]: Make them stop.
537
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,080
Make who stop?
538
00:22:54,100 --> 00:22:56,750
The voices... in my head.
539
00:22:56,770 --> 00:22:58,990
Number Five, is that you?
540
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,750
What are the voices telling you to do?
541
00:23:01,810 --> 00:23:04,410
[whispering]: Kill... you.
542
00:23:04,580 --> 00:23:05,660
[both scream]
543
00:23:05,690 --> 00:23:07,210
[laughing]
544
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:08,770
What is wrong with you?
545
00:23:08,820 --> 00:23:10,690
I'm psychotic and a sociopath.
546
00:23:10,750 --> 00:23:13,880
I'm also allergic to
gluten, but most importantly,
547
00:23:13,950 --> 00:23:15,600
I miss you.
548
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:16,850
A little birdie told me
549
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,830
that you're recruiting new Chanels.
550
00:23:18,860 --> 00:23:21,240
I can't say I wasn't hurt
that you didn't ask me first.
551
00:23:21,260 --> 00:23:23,790
We didn't ask you to rejoin
because you tried to kill us!
552
00:23:23,810 --> 00:23:27,240
Which is exactly why you need me.
553
00:23:31,370 --> 00:23:32,680
Hey, whores...
554
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:34,380
Hester is moving in with us.
555
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:35,900
I prefer Chanel #6.
556
00:23:35,970 --> 00:23:37,910
[French accent]: No way!
557
00:23:37,970 --> 00:23:40,040
She's a murderer and a brunette.
558
00:23:40,110 --> 00:23:43,540
There would be dead people and dark
brown pubes all over the apartment.
559
00:23:44,010 --> 00:23:45,710
She told my parents
560
00:23:45,780 --> 00:23:47,050
to say that I was adopted.
561
00:23:47,070 --> 00:23:48,750
She also has the mind
of a serial killer,
562
00:23:48,780 --> 00:23:51,740
which means she can help
us avoid getting killed.
563
00:23:51,750 --> 00:23:53,790
And why are you speaking
in a French accent?
564
00:23:53,810 --> 00:23:55,480
[Italian accent]: A patient
came in with a disease
565
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:57,630
that makes you speak
in-a foreign accents.
566
00:23:57,690 --> 00:23:59,390
It's-a contagious.
567
00:23:59,710 --> 00:24:03,160
Look, I appreciate that
bringing Hester here
568
00:24:03,190 --> 00:24:06,180
creates a small risk that she may
decide to slaughter us in our sleep,
569
00:24:06,210 --> 00:24:07,780
but I, for one, think the trade off
570
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,590
of helping discover who
the Green Meanie killer is
571
00:24:09,620 --> 00:24:10,880
makes it worth it.
572
00:24:10,900 --> 00:24:13,780
Well, then, why doesn't she just
tell us who the killer is now?!
573
00:24:13,810 --> 00:24:15,670
It doesn't work that way.
574
00:24:15,700 --> 00:24:16,910
There are rules.
575
00:24:16,980 --> 00:24:18,400
Protocols.
576
00:24:18,430 --> 00:24:19,750
Watch. So, Hester,
577
00:24:19,780 --> 00:24:21,510
which one of the new
Chanels should we use as bait
578
00:24:21,530 --> 00:24:22,760
- to catch the Green Meanie
- Mm.
579
00:24:22,790 --> 00:24:24,690
and, thus, keep him from killing us.
580
00:24:24,750 --> 00:24:26,400
Great question, Chanel.
581
00:24:26,420 --> 00:24:28,840
The choice is obvious.
Kill the annoying twink.
582
00:24:28,860 --> 00:24:29,870
- Agreed.
- Agreed.
583
00:24:29,900 --> 00:24:31,660
[British accent]: I disagree.
584
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,920
HESTER: Number Three,
I have all the answers.
585
00:24:38,770 --> 00:24:41,290
Fine. But she has to
room with Number Five,
586
00:24:41,310 --> 00:24:43,150
just in case she
decides to sleep-murder.
587
00:24:43,170 --> 00:24:45,040
And we cannot kill Twink.
588
00:24:45,060 --> 00:24:46,170
Ugh, fine!
589
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:49,160
We'll kill Moebius girl. Agreed?
590
00:24:49,220 --> 00:24:50,930
Great.
591
00:24:50,940 --> 00:24:52,540
Number Five, I've got
to ask you something.
592
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:53,920
When you were at the apartment earlier,
593
00:24:53,950 --> 00:24:55,690
there was a strange pair
of panties in the hamper
594
00:24:55,710 --> 00:24:57,870
that reeked of this
really strong perfume
595
00:24:57,900 --> 00:24:59,720
and I thought I recognized the smell,
596
00:24:59,790 --> 00:25:01,190
but then I remembered...
597
00:25:01,260 --> 00:25:03,210
that was Hester's perfume.
598
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:04,930
But those are my panties.
599
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:06,410
I really liked Hester's perfume,
600
00:25:06,430 --> 00:25:08,660
so I decided to start
dousing my panties in it.
601
00:25:09,190 --> 00:25:11,170
That's not what I was expecting.
602
00:25:11,230 --> 00:25:12,530
And what did you expect?
603
00:25:12,550 --> 00:25:14,250
That we finally tracked down Hester
604
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,000
and asked her to live
in the apartment with us,
605
00:25:16,070 --> 00:25:17,600
so she could help us find the killer,
606
00:25:17,620 --> 00:25:19,610
even though it's possible
that she's the killer?
607
00:25:19,630 --> 00:25:21,140
That would be insane!
608
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:22,800
That would be insane.
609
00:25:22,820 --> 00:25:24,580
Then maybe you should
just not worry about it.
610
00:25:24,650 --> 00:25:28,570
And maybe you should stop sniffing
panties that you pull out of the hamper.
611
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:34,730
[doorbell rings]
612
00:25:36,380 --> 00:25:37,930
Ms. Jane Hollis.
613
00:25:38,350 --> 00:25:39,370
I'm sorry, but
614
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,830
I haven't seen my son in years.
615
00:25:41,890 --> 00:25:45,070
We've never had what you
call a close relationship,
616
00:25:45,090 --> 00:25:47,040
but he is all I have.
617
00:25:47,110 --> 00:25:50,210
I never remarried and I
never had any more children.
618
00:25:50,830 --> 00:25:51,980
[gags]
619
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,850
Uh, the coffee's disgusting.
620
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:56,460
It's not coffee, it's tea.
621
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,770
I'm pretty sure that I ordered coffee.
622
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:01,820
You didn't order anything
because this is a home,
623
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:03,280
not a restaurant.
624
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:05,110
So, Ms. Hollis,
625
00:26:05,140 --> 00:26:07,390
speaking of your husband, um...
626
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:08,890
what do you think happened to him?
627
00:26:08,910 --> 00:26:10,800
Well, I think he died that night.
628
00:26:10,860 --> 00:26:12,950
I think Dr. Mike and Nurse Thomas
629
00:26:12,980 --> 00:26:15,070
faked the paperwork releasing
him from the hospital
630
00:26:15,110 --> 00:26:18,300
and then just tossed his body into
the swamp to cover their tracks.
631
00:26:18,370 --> 00:26:19,540
I'm sure of it.
632
00:26:19,610 --> 00:26:20,980
Are you... sure...
633
00:26:21,010 --> 00:26:23,230
that they dumped the body in the swamp?
634
00:26:23,380 --> 00:26:26,950
And are you sure that you aren't
the one who murdered your husband?
635
00:26:27,380 --> 00:26:29,720
Look... maybe you two
got into an argument.
636
00:26:29,780 --> 00:26:32,190
You fly off the handle,
accidentally murder him,
637
00:26:32,220 --> 00:26:33,690
and then, what are you gonna do?
638
00:26:33,750 --> 00:26:36,100
You have to figure out a
way to get rid of the body.
639
00:26:36,140 --> 00:26:38,300
And what better way
640
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:40,460
to dispose of your husband's dead body,
641
00:26:40,490 --> 00:26:43,040
than bringing him to the ER,
complaining of chest pains
642
00:26:43,060 --> 00:26:45,860
and then leaving it to Dr.
Mike and poor Nurse Thomas
643
00:26:45,890 --> 00:26:48,030
to throw him in the swamp for you.
644
00:26:48,050 --> 00:26:49,940
I didn't murder my husband.
645
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,100
I'm so sorry.
646
00:26:52,130 --> 00:26:54,320
Could you just give us a moment, please?
647
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:56,050
[Zayday clears her throat]
648
00:26:56,260 --> 00:26:58,060
What is wrong with you?
649
00:26:58,080 --> 00:26:59,810
You are the worst sidekick ever.
650
00:26:59,830 --> 00:27:01,130
I'm sorry.
651
00:27:01,150 --> 00:27:03,420
I thought we were trying
to solve a murder here.
652
00:27:03,990 --> 00:27:05,680
Forgive me for asking
the tough questions.
653
00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:07,410
Those aren't tough questions.
654
00:27:07,460 --> 00:27:08,470
Look, it doesn't matter.
655
00:27:08,500 --> 00:27:10,120
Let's just get out of here
because we already know
656
00:27:10,150 --> 00:27:12,360
what we came here to find out.
657
00:27:12,430 --> 00:27:14,210
That the baby in the
belly can't be Chamberlain.
658
00:27:14,230 --> 00:27:16,460
- Why?
- Because she's white.
659
00:27:17,530 --> 00:27:20,500
Um, Chanel #5 and I are
gonna have to run. We, uh...
660
00:27:20,530 --> 00:27:22,500
we forgot we had an appointment.
661
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:24,730
[chuckles] Thank you for your time.
662
00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:26,580
- [chuckles]
- Oh.
663
00:27:27,010 --> 00:27:30,440
Who is that NBA player
with you in that photo?
664
00:27:30,470 --> 00:27:32,910
Oh, was it like a
Make-A-Wish sort of situation
665
00:27:32,930 --> 00:27:34,920
after your husband was murdered?
666
00:27:34,950 --> 00:27:37,160
That is my husband.
667
00:27:44,340 --> 00:27:45,920
ZAYDAY: Do you know what this means?
668
00:27:45,950 --> 00:27:48,000
Of course I don't.
669
00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:51,020
This means that Chamberlain
could be the baby in the belly.
670
00:27:51,630 --> 00:27:54,500
I guess you're not such
a bad sidekick, after all.
671
00:27:58,350 --> 00:28:00,570
This doesn't make any sense.
672
00:28:00,850 --> 00:28:04,160
She said she fell backwards
and hit her head, right?
673
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,570
[South African accent]: But the part
of the brain that processes language
674
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,210
is called the Broca's area
675
00:28:09,230 --> 00:28:12,270
and it's located in
the front of the brain.
676
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:15,870
Oh. I think my accent just changed.
677
00:28:15,900 --> 00:28:17,580
[British accent]: Yes,
I just noticed that.
678
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,170
I mean, it's still a terrible accent,
679
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:21,570
but before you sounded like
Keanu in Dracula.
680
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,090
[Australian accent]: Now you sound
like Leo in Blood Diamond.
681
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:26,190
Crap, I think mine just changed, too.
682
00:28:26,210 --> 00:28:30,490
Yeah, before you sounded like Winona
Ryder in The Crucible and...
683
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,970
now you sort of sound like Cameron
Diaz in Gangs of New York.
684
00:28:33,990 --> 00:28:35,010
[door opens]
685
00:28:35,030 --> 00:28:36,500
[Cockney English accent]:
I think I got a cure.
686
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:38,910
Damn it. My accent keeps changing.
687
00:28:38,940 --> 00:28:41,500
Now I sound like Dick Van
Dyke in Mary Poppins.
688
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:44,270
What exactly did you
figure out? What's the cure?
689
00:28:44,300 --> 00:28:46,880
[German accent]: Now, that is
the worst accent I've ever heard.
690
00:28:46,970 --> 00:28:50,230
When Ms. Hotchkiss
fell and hit her head,
691
00:28:50,300 --> 00:28:52,030
she suffered a mild concussion,
692
00:28:52,060 --> 00:28:56,250
which caused swelling in the part
of the brain that processes language.
693
00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:58,430
[Australian accent]: Right,
but the MRI showed swelling
694
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:00,310
in the anterior part of the brain
695
00:29:00,410 --> 00:29:02,990
and the Broca's area is
in the frontal lobe...
696
00:29:03,050 --> 00:29:04,810
As the first of two neural structures
697
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:06,340
sub-serving linguistic processing.
698
00:29:06,390 --> 00:29:08,730
[German accent]: The
Broca's area in the front
699
00:29:08,740 --> 00:29:11,990
and the Wernicke's area in the back...
700
00:29:12,770 --> 00:29:15,890
precisely where the
MRI indicated swelling.
701
00:29:16,060 --> 00:29:18,430
[English accent]: Wait,
now you sound like Brad Pitt
702
00:29:18,460 --> 00:29:20,530
in Seven Years in Tibet.
703
00:29:20,900 --> 00:29:23,580
So, what do you propose?
704
00:29:23,860 --> 00:29:25,450
- [Polish accent]: Steroids?
- Mm-hmm.
705
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:26,630
Why steroids?
706
00:29:26,660 --> 00:29:30,340
[German accent]: It should reduce
the swelling in the temporal gyrus
707
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:31,920
of the brain's dominant hemisphere,
708
00:29:31,940 --> 00:29:33,840
which, in this case,
happens to be the left.
709
00:29:33,860 --> 00:29:34,950
I mean, it'll take me, what?
710
00:29:34,970 --> 00:29:37,210
Ten, 15 minutes to
prepare the injection?
711
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,900
Then I'll have you on a plane back
to the U.N. in time for supper.
712
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:41,050
Ah, eh...
713
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:42,850
[Polish accent]: Oh, thank you.
714
00:29:43,170 --> 00:29:44,620
I'm so relieved.
715
00:29:44,690 --> 00:29:47,660
But that doesn't explain what's
happening to the three of you.
716
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:50,420
[in German accent]: I know. I fear
the three of us will speak in...
717
00:29:50,450 --> 00:29:52,340
[Scottish accent]: sad,
inconsistent accents
718
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:54,040
[in German accent]: for
the rest of our lives.
719
00:29:58,730 --> 00:30:01,550
Come on, let's go, little guy.
720
00:30:02,430 --> 00:30:04,190
All right, here we go.
721
00:30:06,290 --> 00:30:08,350
ZAYDAY: You're a real
freak, you know that?
722
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:12,170
Okay, hold on, many men enjoy light
butt play during sex, all right?
723
00:30:12,310 --> 00:30:14,630
Doesn't make us freaks.
I am as God made me.
724
00:30:14,670 --> 00:30:17,280
I'm talking about the kind of freak
who just walks in off the street
725
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,650
and pretends to get hired at a hospital.
726
00:30:20,260 --> 00:30:21,610
Okay, you caught me.
727
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:23,040
All right? I'm sorry I lied,
728
00:30:23,060 --> 00:30:25,260
but there's nothing freaky about this.
729
00:30:25,330 --> 00:30:27,380
I just really like
helping people, you know?
730
00:30:27,410 --> 00:30:30,030
And I was looking for a
professional environment to do it in.
731
00:30:30,100 --> 00:30:31,610
You know the kind of looks I get
732
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:33,820
wheeling around a magic
cart on the streets,
733
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:35,200
randomly doing good deeds?
734
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:37,370
And you just happened to,
what? Choose this hospital?
735
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,340
Yeah, it's walking
distance from the house.
736
00:30:39,410 --> 00:30:43,130
How can I wheel this big ass cart all
the way across town to County General?
737
00:30:43,150 --> 00:30:45,480
They'd never let me on the bus, ever.
738
00:30:45,550 --> 00:30:47,850
This is crazy. Man, I
thought you was different.
739
00:30:48,020 --> 00:30:50,170
I thought you would understand
that there are actually some people
740
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:53,370
who don't want to feel rich or
be superior to everybody else.
741
00:30:53,390 --> 00:30:54,550
For some people,
742
00:30:54,580 --> 00:30:57,040
putting a smile on somebody's
face is payment enough.
743
00:30:57,050 --> 00:30:58,050
[cat meows]
744
00:30:59,500 --> 00:31:02,780
Look, Zayday, all right,
I'm a good person, okay?
745
00:31:03,030 --> 00:31:04,840
So, if that makes me a freak,
746
00:31:04,870 --> 00:31:07,270
then I'm-a let my freak flag fly.
747
00:31:08,110 --> 00:31:10,100
How you feeling today?
748
00:31:11,510 --> 00:31:12,510
[door opens]
749
00:31:12,570 --> 00:31:13,820
[posh British accent]: Hello, everyone.
750
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:15,520
I have good news and better news.
751
00:31:15,550 --> 00:31:16,860
The good news is
752
00:31:16,890 --> 00:31:18,270
our accents have all apparently
753
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:20,220
settled into the same dignified,
754
00:31:20,250 --> 00:31:23,210
upper-crust, inconsistent
English accent.
755
00:31:23,260 --> 00:31:24,670
[posh British accent]:
It's really incredible.
756
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,520
We sound like the cast of
Remains of the Day.
757
00:31:26,590 --> 00:31:29,480
The better news is I
think I found a cure.
758
00:31:29,650 --> 00:31:33,350
Now, I found nothing in
the medical literature
759
00:31:33,370 --> 00:31:35,740
about spontaneous
Foreign Accent Syndrome
760
00:31:35,770 --> 00:31:37,970
occurring without the
presence of brain trauma,
761
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,290
except... a really obscure paper
762
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,940
by an evolutionary
biologist named Kleinfeldt
763
00:31:43,010 --> 00:31:44,410
from the University of Vienna,
764
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,910
who coined the term "Madonna Syndrome."
765
00:31:46,940 --> 00:31:49,230
- Madonna Syndrome?
- BROCK: Madonna Syndrome, yes.
766
00:31:49,260 --> 00:31:50,940
You see, when you're
around a foreign accent,
767
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,250
you start picking it up
so you don't stand out.
768
00:31:53,420 --> 00:31:56,850
It's a method of social camouflage
for the cultural outsider.
769
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:58,720
You see, the more you fit in,
770
00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:00,430
the more likely you are to procreate.
771
00:32:00,450 --> 00:32:02,670
[posh British accent]: Okay,
well, how do you cure it?
772
00:32:02,700 --> 00:32:06,260
Kleinfeldt called the technique
"Total Visuo-Linguistic Immersion."
773
00:32:06,330 --> 00:32:08,130
We basically lock ourselves in a room
774
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,350
and watch nothing but
movies and tele-shows
775
00:32:10,370 --> 00:32:12,720
that feature straight-down-the-line,
American accents.
776
00:32:12,750 --> 00:32:15,620
The three of us will spend
the weekend watching these.
777
00:32:15,990 --> 00:32:16,990
Ah.
778
00:32:17,020 --> 00:32:18,630
Love American Style...
779
00:32:18,650 --> 00:32:20,720
ooh, American Bandstand...
780
00:32:20,980 --> 00:32:22,480
American Gigolo.
781
00:32:22,610 --> 00:32:26,530
And I thought we'd start by
binge-watching The Americans.
782
00:32:26,610 --> 00:32:28,490
The Americans is about Russians.
783
00:32:28,510 --> 00:32:30,050
That's, like, the
whole point of the show.
784
00:32:30,070 --> 00:32:31,340
BROCK: Fine. Then we'll binge-watch
785
00:32:31,350 --> 00:32:33,350
Neil Diamond singing
"Coming to America."
786
00:32:33,410 --> 00:32:36,700
It's a rousing anthem that every
American should watch, in my opinion.
787
00:32:36,730 --> 00:32:38,490
It's what we need as a nation.
788
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:40,860
Um... I can't.
789
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:44,030
I've got something planned this weekend.
790
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:46,150
I'm sorry.
791
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,040
Well... looks as though it's just, uh...
792
00:32:54,460 --> 00:32:56,660
going to be you and me.
793
00:32:58,640 --> 00:32:59,770
[knocking]
794
00:32:59,780 --> 00:33:00,780
Yes?
795
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:05,280
You wanted to see me.
796
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:07,690
Yes, please, come in.
797
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:09,160
Um...
798
00:33:09,340 --> 00:33:11,090
why don't you take a seat?
799
00:33:11,130 --> 00:33:13,810
Actually, you know, I'm
gonna save you the effort.
800
00:33:13,830 --> 00:33:14,880
You're fired.
801
00:33:14,910 --> 00:33:17,050
- Excuse me?
- You heard me.
802
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:20,680
I don't like the way you treat my staff.
803
00:33:20,690 --> 00:33:22,490
Oh, I presume you're
talking about the Chanels,
804
00:33:22,510 --> 00:33:25,390
whom you hired as doctors, despite
the fact they're not doctors.
805
00:33:25,420 --> 00:33:26,880
It's my hospital.
806
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,440
It runs on my funding,
807
00:33:28,470 --> 00:33:30,500
which means I can hire whomever I choose
808
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:33,120
to perform whatever
task I deem appropriate.
809
00:33:33,150 --> 00:33:34,350
And, frankly,
810
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:38,240
the way you treat and
speak to the Chanels is,
811
00:33:38,260 --> 00:33:39,290
"A." offensive,
812
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:40,320
and "B"...
813
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:42,240
you're obviously addicted to pethidine.
814
00:33:42,270 --> 00:33:43,980
Addicted?
815
00:33:44,460 --> 00:33:46,720
Where do you get off,
you boozy, old hag?
816
00:33:46,790 --> 00:33:49,380
Yes! I take a daily dose of pethidine!
817
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:51,530
A-a-and, yes, it's a very large dose,
818
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:54,300
something like you would
prescribe for a Clydesdale.
819
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:56,020
But you know what? I love it!
820
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:59,540
It is, hands down, the
best friend I have ever had.
821
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:01,100
It is lover, friend,
822
00:34:01,140 --> 00:34:05,060
all wrapped up in some
tiny, little, white tuxedo.
823
00:34:05,110 --> 00:34:06,740
I mean, I do. I do, I
do. I think about it.
824
00:34:06,770 --> 00:34:09,760
I think about it at morning,
noon, and night, but addicted? No!
825
00:34:09,790 --> 00:34:11,200
I am not.
826
00:34:11,460 --> 00:34:15,420
Yes, I obviously am, but how
dare you, you creaky, old whore!
827
00:34:15,490 --> 00:34:18,070
I want your office
cleaned out in an hour.
828
00:34:19,780 --> 00:34:21,130
Oh, no.
829
00:34:25,820 --> 00:34:29,300
I don't think I'm going
to be going anywhere.
830
00:34:29,390 --> 00:34:30,670
I just fired you.
831
00:34:30,690 --> 00:34:33,140
And I think you're about to rehire me.
832
00:34:33,570 --> 00:34:36,970
Unless you want word
out about your disease.
833
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:39,150
That's right.
834
00:34:39,170 --> 00:34:42,350
I know all about your little
terminal illness you picked up
835
00:34:42,370 --> 00:34:45,970
accidentally eating human
brains, which is insane,
836
00:34:45,990 --> 00:34:47,650
but somehow not quite as crazy
837
00:34:47,670 --> 00:34:49,960
as accidentally getting
on a plane to New Guinea
838
00:34:49,990 --> 00:34:52,680
when you thought you
were headed to New Jersey.
839
00:34:53,690 --> 00:34:58,260
I... I just wonder what the press
would do with that little nugget.
840
00:34:58,450 --> 00:35:00,970
Oh, wait, I can see the headlines now.
841
00:35:01,290 --> 00:35:04,120
"Crone munches down
on brains, gets kuru,
842
00:35:04,150 --> 00:35:06,760
"buys hospital, still dies."
843
00:35:07,300 --> 00:35:08,470
You wouldn't.
844
00:35:08,540 --> 00:35:09,870
I will.
845
00:35:09,940 --> 00:35:11,640
Wait, wait, what's that?
846
00:35:11,710 --> 00:35:16,140
Oh... I think that's the
sound of me getting rehired.
847
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:21,000
Don't cross me, slut,
848
00:35:21,030 --> 00:35:25,050
or I'll make damn sure
it's the last thing you do.
849
00:35:33,330 --> 00:35:35,600
Surprise.
850
00:35:35,670 --> 00:35:37,760
Sorry, you scared me.
851
00:35:37,790 --> 00:35:38,810
Where have you been all day?
852
00:35:38,830 --> 00:35:40,470
Running errands...
853
00:35:40,590 --> 00:35:42,120
like you told me.
854
00:35:42,150 --> 00:35:43,870
Yeah, I don't care.
855
00:35:44,010 --> 00:35:46,460
Listen, I have awesome news.
856
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:47,510
While you were gone,
857
00:35:47,540 --> 00:35:49,420
the Chanels and I decided
it would be super fun
858
00:35:49,450 --> 00:35:50,780
if we celebrated the new Chanels
859
00:35:50,820 --> 00:35:52,990
by throwing a slumber
party at the hospital.
860
00:35:53,050 --> 00:35:54,610
And we're gonna give
each other makeovers.
861
00:35:54,650 --> 00:35:56,090
Oh, my God,
862
00:35:56,250 --> 00:35:57,800
I'm so excited.
863
00:35:57,830 --> 00:35:59,840
["Dancing in Heaven" by Q-Feel plays]
864
00:36:02,850 --> 00:36:04,450
♪ Are you ready? Here we go ♪
865
00:36:04,510 --> 00:36:06,250
♪ Slow, slow ♪
866
00:36:06,420 --> 00:36:08,060
♪ Quick-quick, slow ♪
867
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:11,770
♪ Slow, slow, quick-quick, slow ♪
868
00:36:12,140 --> 00:36:13,530
♪ Dancing in heaven ♪
869
00:36:13,590 --> 00:36:15,160
- ♪ Here we go ♪
- ♪ I never thought ♪
870
00:36:15,230 --> 00:36:17,210
♪ I'd ever get my feet this far ♪
871
00:36:17,220 --> 00:36:19,000
♪ Orbital be-bop ♪
872
00:36:19,070 --> 00:36:21,180
- ♪ Dancing in heaven ♪
- ♪ Here we go ♪
873
00:36:21,210 --> 00:36:22,350
♪ I never thought ♪
874
00:36:22,380 --> 00:36:24,230
♪ I'd ever get my feet this far ♪
875
00:36:24,300 --> 00:36:25,880
♪ Orbital be-bop... ♪
876
00:36:26,060 --> 00:36:28,540
Time for gifts! Gather around.
877
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:31,270
We have a special surprise
gift for you, Chanel #8.
878
00:36:31,310 --> 00:36:34,010
An Hermès Infinity Choker
hidden somewhere in the morgue
879
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:36,540
that you have to go all
by yourself now to find it.
880
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,310
No way! This is so much fun.
881
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:41,920
♪ Boogie my way... ♪
882
00:36:42,310 --> 00:36:43,630
Think the Meanie will take the bait?
883
00:36:43,650 --> 00:36:46,090
Consider it his or her sacrifice
for the week and leave us alone?
884
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:47,370
Fo' sho'.
885
00:36:59,510 --> 00:37:00,560
[clears throat]
886
00:37:00,590 --> 00:37:02,340
Geez, you scared me.
887
00:37:02,410 --> 00:37:04,100
Listen up, bitch.
888
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:08,090
I've been saving up to buy a Hermès
silver Infinity Choker forever,
889
00:37:08,140 --> 00:37:12,530
and I'll be damned if I'm gonna
stand by and let you have it.
890
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,120
But they said it was for me.
891
00:37:14,150 --> 00:37:17,280
Then you'd better find
it before I do, bitch.
892
00:37:17,980 --> 00:37:19,160
Where is it?
893
00:37:19,230 --> 00:37:22,020
♪ I'll be the first to bossa nova ♪
894
00:37:23,010 --> 00:37:24,800
Wasted space.
895
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:29,530
♪ Boogie my way beyond the radar ♪
896
00:37:29,980 --> 00:37:33,130
♪ I'll bring a jive to outer space ♪
897
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:34,870
♪ Dancing in heaven... ♪
898
00:37:34,890 --> 00:37:36,100
What are you doing here?
899
00:37:36,170 --> 00:37:38,270
I was looking for my present,
900
00:37:38,290 --> 00:37:41,820
but then Chanel Pour Homme said
he wanted it more than I did
901
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:44,580
so I figured I'd just let him have it
902
00:37:44,660 --> 00:37:46,330
and I came back up here.
903
00:37:46,380 --> 00:37:47,420
Oh, no.
904
00:37:48,180 --> 00:37:49,800
♪ Here I am ♪
905
00:37:49,820 --> 00:37:53,810
♪ I hear the universe
sing the celestial swing ♪
906
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:56,420
♪ I am not alone ♪
907
00:37:56,490 --> 00:37:58,430
♪ Are you receiving me clear? ♪
908
00:37:58,500 --> 00:38:01,040
♪ There's others out here ♪
909
00:38:01,210 --> 00:38:03,410
- ♪ Dancing in heaven♪
- ♪ Here we go. ♪
910
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:04,640
♪ I never thought ♪
911
00:38:04,660 --> 00:38:06,300
♪ I'd ever get my feet this far ♪
912
00:38:06,330 --> 00:38:08,000
♪ Orbital be-bop. ♪
913
00:38:22,100 --> 00:38:24,130
[squelching sounds]
914
00:38:24,470 --> 00:38:28,180
[screaming]
915
00:38:28,470 --> 00:38:30,940
- Munsch we can explain.
- Explain what?
916
00:38:31,020 --> 00:38:34,790
That you hired three new Chanels
to be bait for the Green Meanie?
917
00:38:34,860 --> 00:38:36,960
- Um, I...
- Yeah, I heard all about it.
918
00:38:36,980 --> 00:38:38,700
- Chanel #5 told me.
- Okay...
919
00:38:38,720 --> 00:38:40,730
You stupid bitch!
920
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:42,540
Chanel, a man died.
921
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,150
I didn't want Chanel Pour Homme to die.
922
00:38:44,180 --> 00:38:45,910
I sent Chanel #8 to the morgue.
923
00:38:45,940 --> 00:38:47,620
I'm standing right here!
924
00:38:47,650 --> 00:38:49,640
[posh accent]: You know, the
more that I think about it,
925
00:38:49,660 --> 00:38:51,840
I don't really think we
thought this plan through.
926
00:38:51,870 --> 00:38:54,350
Yes, we did. These Chanels are bait.
927
00:38:54,370 --> 00:38:56,340
Yes, but we never set a trap.
928
00:38:56,410 --> 00:38:58,310
The Green Meanie just
took the bait and got away.
929
00:38:58,340 --> 00:38:59,870
And where is Hester?
930
00:38:59,890 --> 00:39:01,400
Her cell is empty.
931
00:39:01,430 --> 00:39:02,980
If I don't find out
what happened to her,
932
00:39:03,050 --> 00:39:05,710
I'm gonna have to report
that breach to the FBI.
933
00:39:05,730 --> 00:39:07,570
I don't know where Hester is.
934
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:09,690
I mean, am I my sister's keeper?!
935
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:11,550
Maybe she killed herself!
936
00:39:11,570 --> 00:39:13,790
Or maybe she's moved
to a neighboring state
937
00:39:13,810 --> 00:39:16,990
with a less onerous tax burden
and started killing people there.
938
00:39:17,330 --> 00:39:19,160
Honestly, that's probably what happened.
939
00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:21,950
I mean, she is always going on
about how onerous the taxes are here.
940
00:39:21,980 --> 00:39:23,090
- Isn't that right?
- Totally.
941
00:39:23,110 --> 00:39:25,070
- So onerous.
- Stop talking!
942
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:28,190
I must commend you.
943
00:39:29,460 --> 00:39:31,630
- Your idea had merit.
- [chuckles]
944
00:39:31,660 --> 00:39:35,050
I mean, with the added influx
of new patients to this hospital,
945
00:39:35,070 --> 00:39:36,270
the workload here has doubled,
946
00:39:36,300 --> 00:39:39,520
so if these Chanels help
you work more efficiently,
947
00:39:39,550 --> 00:39:41,820
then I'm all for it.
948
00:39:41,850 --> 00:39:43,630
Although I officially
949
00:39:43,690 --> 00:39:46,250
cannot condone the... [clears throat]
950
00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:47,390
you know?
951
00:39:47,420 --> 00:39:50,790
Look, we get it. We're human shields.
952
00:39:50,820 --> 00:39:52,780
We can all stop pussyfooting around it,
953
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:55,670
because I, myself, am
fine with the arrangement.
954
00:39:55,740 --> 00:39:58,440
I've really gotten used to the clothes.
955
00:39:58,510 --> 00:40:01,340
MUNSCH: Well, to your point,
956
00:40:01,950 --> 00:40:05,020
I have taken the liberty
957
00:40:05,050 --> 00:40:08,300
of adding some
additional Chanels myself.
958
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:09,910
Ladies!
959
00:40:12,490 --> 00:40:16,040
This is Addison, Andrea, and Midge.
960
00:40:16,070 --> 00:40:20,440
Chanel #9 here is a
semiprofessional Dungeon Master.
961
00:40:20,450 --> 00:40:23,630
Chanel #10 was born with no kidneys
962
00:40:23,660 --> 00:40:26,670
but has 30 extra feet
of large intestine.
963
00:40:26,740 --> 00:40:30,640
And Chanel #11 has 11 fingers.
964
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:31,640
[gasps]
965
00:40:32,020 --> 00:40:34,950
Yeah. So, Chanels #9 through #11,
966
00:40:34,970 --> 00:40:37,480
meet Chanels #1 through #8.
967
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:41,970
Listen up, bovines.
968
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,820
Polite society says we can't haze you.
969
00:40:44,890 --> 00:40:46,660
But we can insist
970
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:49,720
that you clean Chanel #5's
bedpans before we return home.
971
00:40:49,750 --> 00:40:52,160
And she takes monster dumps.
972
00:40:52,190 --> 00:40:53,880
I want that thing sanitized.
973
00:40:53,910 --> 00:40:55,550
I want it so clean
974
00:40:55,570 --> 00:40:58,860
that we could eat
novelty sundaes out of it!
975
00:41:03,310 --> 00:41:04,550
Now!
976
00:41:08,340 --> 00:41:09,740
Now...
977
00:41:10,310 --> 00:41:14,580
I am going to find out what happened
to Hester if it's the last thing I do.
978
00:41:14,610 --> 00:41:19,390
And if it turns out that you three
harbored a known serial killer,
979
00:41:19,410 --> 00:41:22,730
I am going to report you
as accessories to murder.
980
00:41:22,750 --> 00:41:26,270
And when they sentence
you to the electric chair,
981
00:41:26,300 --> 00:41:29,560
I'm gonna stand there and watch you fry.
982
00:41:31,090 --> 00:41:32,710
- Now...
- [squeaks]
983
00:41:32,740 --> 00:41:35,310
who wants to tell me where Hester is?
984
00:41:43,610 --> 00:41:46,420
I don't get it. What's in it for us?
985
00:41:46,460 --> 00:41:48,080
Like, do we get paid?
986
00:41:48,110 --> 00:41:51,210
I don't know. I think it's
more like an internship.
987
00:41:52,030 --> 00:41:53,590
[screaming]
988
00:41:57,560 --> 00:41:59,170
[screaming]
989
00:42:07,460 --> 00:42:09,480
Oh, my God.
990
00:42:12,270 --> 00:42:13,610
Thank you!
991
00:42:25,730 --> 00:42:27,570
[door opens]
992
00:42:28,550 --> 00:42:30,390
- Baby, is that you?
- [door shuts]
993
00:42:30,460 --> 00:42:32,730
I'm making breakfast for dinner.
994
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,340
I know how much you like that.
995
00:42:35,790 --> 00:42:37,230
CASSIDY: Hi, Mom.
996
00:42:40,240 --> 00:42:41,840
Smells delicious.
997
00:42:41,900 --> 00:42:44,130
Wash your hands and sit.
998
00:42:45,580 --> 00:42:48,610
Some people came by from the hospital.
999
00:42:49,100 --> 00:42:51,320
They know about your dad.
1000
00:42:52,130 --> 00:42:54,450
They asked about you.
1001
00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:57,630
Well, not you, exactly, but...
1002
00:42:57,830 --> 00:42:59,520
my baby.
1003
00:43:00,900 --> 00:43:03,770
You think we need to
do something about it?
1004
00:43:07,950 --> 00:43:09,460
Don't worry, Mom.
1005
00:43:13,230 --> 00:43:15,140
I'll take care of everything.
1006
00:43:15,270 --> 00:43:17,730
You are so good to me.
1007
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:21,640
After all you've been through
1008
00:43:21,710 --> 00:43:23,660
and all you've done for me,
1009
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:25,310
you deserve it.
1010
00:43:25,580 --> 00:43:27,590
You deserve the whole world.
1011
00:43:29,610 --> 00:43:33,660
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com
77932
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