All language subtitles for I Love Lucy S01E20 (The Young Fans).eng

(theme music playing)

(theme music ending)

Good morning, honey.

Good morning.

What are you doing up at the crack of
dawn?

It's only 9:30.

Well, I'm trying to get out of here

without that little monster from next
door following me.

Little Peggy Dawson?

Yeah, yeah.
I can't get rid of her.

Ever since she found out that I'm
Ricky Ricardo

she's like a spook.

No matter where I go, she's there.

She walks with me to the subway in
the morning

she shows up at rehearsal

and the way she looks at me--
ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.

(laughing)

Well, you know how teenage girls are.

They get these fabulous crushes on
men

for no reason at all.

Yeah, well, I...

What do you mean, "for no reason at
all"?

Oh, you know what I mean.

She thinks the sun rises and sets in
you.

Of course, I don't know where she
ever got the idea

that you're the smartest, the
handsomest

the most talented man in the whole
world.

Neither do I.

There are a few other men smarter
than I.

Why, you big ham!

Well, anyway, I can't go through this
cow-eyed routine

for another morning.

I got to get out of here.

Oh, now, you've got plenty of time.

Nobody in their right mind would
expect you to be up

for another two hours yet.

Oh, I guess you're right.

Drink another cup of coffee.
I'll get your coat.

All right, honey.
Thank you.

Am I going crazy or something?

No.

(screams)

Oh, Peggy.

Good morning... Ricky.

Good morning.

Did I startle you?

Oh, no, no.

I always wash my hands in the coffee
every morning.

My, that's interesting!

Yeah. (chuckles)

You go right ahead and eat your
breakfast.

Don't let me bother you.

Now, look, Peggy, I-I have something
to say to you.

What?

Uh...

Well, now, look, uh, uh, Peggy

y-you're a very sweet girl, dear.

(squeals): Oh, you called me "dear"!

(squealing continues)

Now I can die happy.

Well, uh, look, look, Pe-Peggy...

Yes, Ricky darling.

I'll be right back.

(whispering): Lucy, Lucy.

What?

This is not my day.

(chuckles)

Look, Lucy, will you do me a favor,
honey?

(squeals): Oh, you called me "honey"!

Oh, now I can die happy.

Now, cut it out, will you?

May I have your autograph, Ricky?

Just tattoo it on my arm.

Now, that's enough of that, honey.

How am I going to get rid of her?

Why don't you disillusion her?

How?

Just go in there and be mean and
nasty and unattractive.

I'm not that good an actor.

There must be some way.

Of course.

I know the perfect way for me to
straighten her out.

How?

You talk to her.

Me?
Yep. I got to go to rehearsal.

Good-bye, honey.

But Ricky, what'll I say?

Well, honey, you're so clever, you'll
think of something.

Good-bye.

Good-bye, you coward.

(screams)

Oh, Peggy...

Oh, Peggy, you scared me.

Is Mr. Ricardo ready to go to work?

He's gone.

Oh! Gosh, I'll have to catch up with
him.

Oh, now, Peggy, wait a minute.

But I walk him to the subway every
morning.

Yeah, well, he's a big boy now.

He can find it by himself.

Uh, sit down, Peggy.

I want to have a little talk with
you.

All right.

That's a good idea, really.

I want to have a talk with you, too.

Now, look, Peggy...

Mrs. Ricardo, let's be adult about
this.

I'm in love with your husband.

Are you sure about what you're
saying, Peggy?

Do you know it's love and not
infatuation?

Oh, yes.

My infatuations only last a little
while.

This has been going on for two whole
weeks.

"Two whole weeks."

Well, there's a little thing you
overlooked, Peggy--

Ricky is married.

I know.

Doesn't that make it sophisticated?

Well, yes.

And he's so much more worldly than
the boys I know.

Well, I should hope so.

He's a little older, too.

I know-- he's middle-aged.

What?

He must be pushing 23.

Yeah, he's pushing 23, all right.

In fact, he's pushed it all the way
to 35.

I suppose you think that I'm pushing
23, too?

Oh, no.

A woman can always tell another
woman's age.

Yes, well...
now, about Ricky.

You know, there's another thing you
overlooked, Peggy.

What?
I love him, too.

(sighs)

I was afraid of that.

You're going to be terrific
competition.

Well, thanks.

Gosh, you've got that certain
something.

Well, that's-that's quite a
compliment

but, uh, how would a girl your age
know

that I have that certain something?

I can tell by the way my mother looks
at my father

when my father looks at you.

I hope we can get this settled by
Saturday night

so that Ricky can take me to the
school dance.

Well, now, look, Peggy, I want to
have a talk with you

not as a rival but as a... a...

A mother?

No, a friend.

Now, what about boys your own age?

Oh, they're all so icky.

They're icky, huh?

Yeah...
except Arthur!

Arthur?

Arthur Morton.

He's wonderful.

He's got curly hair, big sad eyes and
floppy ears.

He looks like Gregory Peck.

Sounds more like Lassie.

But if you like Arthur so much

why don't you go to the school dance
with him?

Oh, he's too shy to ask me.

Well, why don't you ask him?

He doesn't know how to dance.

Oh.
Well, how about this?

Now, suppose someone taught him to
dance by Saturday.

Would you ask him to take you?

Oh, sure.

Okay, I'll teach him.

Do you still know how to dance?

I think I can recall a few variations
on the turkey trot.

Now, look, you tell Arthur to come
here right after school

and have his first lesson.

Okay. Oh, gosh, I'm going to be late.

Oh, uh, Mrs. Ricardo?

Yes?

Don't say anything about Arthur.

I don't want Ricky to know that...
I'm untrue.

Well, your secret is safe, Peggy.

Gee, you're keen.

Bye.

Bye.

(door closes)

"Gee, you're keen."

(doorbell buzzes)

Arthur?

Come in, Arthur.

Come in.

How do you do?

I'm Mrs. Ricardo.

Won't you sit down?

Can I get you a drink of water?

Arthur, say something!

I think I'm going to faint.

Now, nonsense.

There's nothing to be shy about.

I'm just going to teach you how to
dance, that's all.

Well, look, we'll start this way.

Now, you just watch my feet.

Now, one, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

That's all there is to it.

Oh, is that all?

Yeah. Now, you try it.

Now, one, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two...

Arthur, Arthur...

take shorter steps.

You'll be dancing with a girl, not an
antelope.

Oh.

Now, try it again.

Now, one, two, three, four.

One, two, sidestep.

That's right, sidestep, that's it.

Gee, is this all there is to dancing?

Yes.

Well, this is easy.

Yeah, I knew you'd catch on.

There now.

Let's try it together.

(gasps)

Oh, now, come on, Arthur.

What are you going to do to me?

I'm not going to do anything to you.

We're just going to dance together.

You mean...
just the two of us?

Yes, that's the usual number.

Mrs. Ricardo, I can't dance with you.

(chuckling): You're a... a woman.

Yeah, my husband likes me that way.

Well, I don't know...
a... a woman...

Now, look, Arthur

some people are men and some people
are women.

They're made that way so they can
dance together.

Now, come on.
Take hold of me.

Oh, Arthur, we're not dancing the
minuet.

Put your arms around me.

Oh, I couldn't.

Now, don't be silly.

Now, come on.

Now, just follow me.

Now, come on.

Now, one, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

Arthur, relax.

Relax, now.

Loosen up, come on.

Just let yourself go loose, that's
all.

Now, just relax.

Now, come on, follow me.

Now, relax.

Now, be light on your feet, now.

Li-Light on my feet.

Yeah. Now, follow me.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

(toe cracks/screams)

Oh! Oh, gosh!

I'm sorry.

Oh, that's all right.

Okay.

Now, come on, let's try it again.

Light on my feet.

Yeah.
Now, try it again.

Now, one, two, three, four.

One, two...

three, four...
One...

(toe cracks/yells)

Oh! Oh!

I-I'm sorry.
I did it again.

You don't think this last time broke
it?

No, the first time broke it.

Well, I'll try to be more careful.

Okay, now, come on.

Light on my feet.

Yeah, light on your feet.

Come on.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

That's right, now you're getting it.

There, that's fine.

Now we'll try it with the music.

Well, Arthur, let me go.

Arthur, what's the matter with you?

Why don't you let me go?

I like it.

But, Arthur...

Mrs. Ricardo...

What?

I love you.

What do you mean, you love me?

I love you.
I love you!

Arthur, relax, now, relax.

Calm down.

Now, relax.

Gosh, this is the first time

I've ever had my arms around a woman.

Now I know what all the fellas are
talking about.

Now, Arthur.

I love you.

Stop saying that.

Now, Arthur, th-there's a big
misunderstanding.

You better go now.

No, I'm never going away from you,
ever.

Now, Arthur...

Let's dance some more.

No, no, you dance by yourself.

Oh, no.

Come on, now.

Let's see how much you've learned

and then, maybe I'll dance with you.

Now, go on.

Well... all right.

Now...

one, two, sidestep.

Three, four, sidestep.

That's it, sidestep.

Three, four, sidestep.

Sidestep, sidestep, sidestep.

That's it, sidestep, sidestep, three,
four.

Sidestep, that's it.

(sighs)

(sidestepping continues)

The stairs!

Arthur, watch out for the st...

(crashes)

Oh, no!

Hi, honey.

Hi.

What's the matter?

I gave Arthur a dancing lesson.

Arthur? Arthur who?

Well, believe me, it wasn't Arthur
Murray.

Would you mind telling a poor
confused Cuban

what you're talking about?

Well, after you left this morning

I had that little chat with Peggy.

Yeah?

And she said that she liked a boy
named Arthur Morton

Yeah?
but that he didn't know how to dance.

So I had Arthur come over here

and I gave him a dancing lesson to
get Peggy off your neck.

What are you whispering about?

If my feet ever find out that it was
my idea

they'll kill me.

Well, I knew you'd figure a simple
way

to clear the entire situation.

Simple? I may never walk again.

Well, listen, honey, thank you very
much.

Can I forget about Peggy now?

I hope so.

Hey, you know, this Arthur was so shy

I practically had to lasso him to get
him in here.

No kidding?

Yeah. It was really unbelievable.

And then, after we'd been dancing

for a couple of minutes, he suddenly
looked me in the eye

and said, "I love you."

Oh, no.

Yeah.

That's very funny.

In love with you!

(laughing)

That's a scream.

Ha, ha.

Oh, now, honey, you must admit it's
pretty funny.

Look, I'll admit I'm old enough to be
his... sister...

but his being in love with me isn't
that funny.

You fell in love with me once, you
know.

I sure did, sweetheart.

(phone rings)

Hello.

Oh, hello, Peggy.

Oh, Peggy, I don't know what
you're...

Well, Peggy, I didn't mean to...

Oh, well, now, dear, you're jumping
to concl...

But, Peggy, I...

Hello, Peggy?

Peggy?

Peggy is coming over.

What for?

She says now that I've taken Arthur
away from her

she ought to get you.

Well, why didn't you tell her not to
come over?

I couldn't get a word in edgewise.

(phone rings)

No, no, no, I'll get it this time.

Now, listen here, Peggy...

Oh, hello, Arthur.

Yeah, I know, Arthur.

Well, now, look, after all...

Now, look, Arthur, you can't...

Arthur?

Arthur?

Arthur is coming over, too.

Oh, no.

Yeah. He said he wants

to have a man-to-man talk with me
about you.

Oh, swell, here we are in the middle
of a four-sided triangle.

And it's all your fault.

This never would've happened

if you hadn't learned to play that
lousy conga drum.

Never mind that.

We got to figure a way to discourage
them.

Well, pointing up that we're too old
for them won't work.

I tried that with Peggy.

Didn't make the slightest impression.

Well, maybe, uh, you didn't make us
old enough.

Hey, you know...

maybe you got something there,
Grandpa.

Yeah. Yeah.

That's what I mean, Grandma.

Hey, come on, we've got a lot of
aging to do.

(chuckling): Okay.

Well...

How is this?

That's pretty good

but you can't talk with such a young
voice.

Oh. Uh...

(older voice): Is this any better?

Yeah, that's better

but don't tell me a man your age
still has teeth.

Oh, uh...

Is this all right, Grandma?

Oh, no!

I used to think I'd enjoy growing old
with you

but after this preview, you'd better
grow old alone.

Never mind that.

Listen, how about you?

You don't look very old.

Oh, don't worry about me.

I have a few plans.

(older voice): I may misplace my
teeth, too.

Well, that'll help.

Yeah, kiss me, Grandpa.

All right.

(doorbell buzzes)

Ooh, there's one of them now.

All right.
Get out of sight.

Mrs. Ricardo, this is a terrible
thing

that you've done to me.

I'm disappointed in you.

Oh, well, girlie, I'm so sorry.

Sit down, we'll have a little talk.

What?

Oh, pardon me.

Oh, dear, I always forget those
things.

There, now, sit down.

We'll have a girl-to-girl talk.

Those teeth, aren't they yours?

Well, they sure are.

I made the last payment two months
ago.

Gosh, you're even older than I
thought.

Well!

I can see why you're so afraid of
losing Ricky

but now that you've stolen Arthur

I can't let that make

any difference to me.

Well, I think you're absolutely
right.

You do?

Absolutely, Ricky is yours.

Gee, Mrs. Ricardo, thanks.

Oh, that's all right.

It's really nothing.

I'll get him for you.

Oh, Peggy, I-I-I must, uh, warn you.

You know, Ricky isn't as young as you
think he is either.

Oh, don't try to scare me, Mrs.
Ricardo.

I've seen him when he comes in for
breakfast.

Oh, well, he's all put together by
then.

"Put together"?

Oh, yeah. You should see him when he
wakes up in the morning.

He's scattered all over the place.

Yeah, well, uh, you see

us show people know a lot of makeup
tricks.

We can look young whenever we want
to.

Oh, you can't frighten me.

Well, all right, Peggy, have it your
way.

I'll turn him over to you.

I'll go get him.

Oh...

Ricky is mine at last.

Ah, hello, Peggy.

Oh, Ricky, you're...

Old man!

Yes, yes.

Isn't that wonderful?

We'll be so happy together.

But... Oh, but this must be some sort
of a joke.

You must be Ricky Ricardo's father.

Oh, no, no, no.

It's me, all right...

(chuckles)

Yeah, the one and only Ricky Ricardo.

That's right, you show them, dear.

All right, Mother.

All right.

(off-key): iBabalu!

iBabalu, aye!

(coughing)

Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.

What's the matter?

Wh-What's the matter?

Well, it's his rheumatism.

Rheumatism?

Yeah, he has very...

Put his legs up on the coffee table
there, will you, dear?

That's right.

Be careful, now, when you pull them.

Look out, now.

Watch out.

(moaning)

That's right.

Yeah, now, jiggle them.

"Jiggle them"?

Yeah, you have to keep them moving

or his arteries harden.

Go ahead, jiggle them.

I'll fill this up, dear.

Thank you.

(sighing)

Oh, dear, I-I don't understand this
whole thing.

Your hair, Ricky, when did it get
white?

Oh, oh, that's right.

You never saw my hair this way, did
you?

No.

Well, you see, I don't bother with
the shoeblack at home.

Keep jiggling, Peggy.
Please, keep jiggling.

Is that better?

Yes, that's better.

You know, you're a much better
jiggler than Lucy.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Okay. All right.

I can't believe this whole thing.

Why, I just saw you at rehearsal
yesterday

dancing around and beating your conga
drum.

Oh, yes.

Well... I'm glad you saw that, yes.

That was my farewell performance.

Yeah, he's baba'd his last loo.

(doorbell buzzes)

Thank you.
Thank you.

Oh, I'll get it.

Keep jiggling.

Yeah, keep jiggling, please.

Where's Mr. Ricardo?

Look, Mr. Ricardo

let's be adult about this.

I...

Ay!

What happened to him?

He's old.

This is the first time we've seen him

without shoeblack on his hair.

Oh. Well, look, Mr. Ricardo...

Oh, Arthur, not another word.

I'm happy.

I have Peggy.

Yeah.

Keep jiggling, Peggy.
Please, keep jiggling.

Go to Lucy, Arthur.

She's all yours.

Uh, we'll be very happy together,
Arthur.

Of course, I'll miss the old
gentleman.

He's the only one that knew

how to put the batteries in my
hearing aid.

Your hearing aid?

Yes. You don't mind, do you?

Oh, no, no.

I still love you.

How's that?

I said, I still love you.

Oh, yes, sir, it sure does.

No!

I said, I still love you!

Oh, no. Oh, no, thanks.

Never touch the stuff.

Peggy, please, keep jiggling, please.

I never knew you wore glasses.

How's that?

The glasses!

I said, I never knew you wore
glasses!

Oh, well, I don't really need them.

I can see just as well without them.

Hello, Arthur?

Arthur?

Where'd he go?

Oh!

Oh, there you are.

Gee, Arthur...

th-they're both falling apart.

Well, Mrs. Ricardo doesn't look so
old.

She's kind of...
well preserved.

At least her hair isn't white.

Oh, sonny, do you like my hair?

Yeah.

Well, here, you can have it.

(both screaming)

(both laughing)

(theme music playing)

ANNOUNCER: The part of Peggy was
played by Janet Walden.

The part of Arthur was played by Dick
Crenna.

Captioned by Media Access Group at
WGBH access.wgbh.org

ANNOUNCER: I Love Lucy is a Desilu
production.