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1
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(music)
2
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(theme music playing)
3
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(theme music ending)
4
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(mouthing words silently)
5
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(mouthing words)
6
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(mouthing words)
7
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Hi, honey.
8
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Hey, did you see this evening's
paper?
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Listen to this.
10
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Uh, "The indisputed star
11
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"of a great evening entertainment
12
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"the genius of the conga drum
13
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"who, as usual, stopped the show last
night
14
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"with his rendition of 'Babaloo'
15
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Ricky Ricardo."
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Couldn't have been better if I wrote
it myself.
17
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How about that?
18
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(mouthing words)
19
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(spits)
20
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Lucy... what are you doing?
21
00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:48,251
I'm writing a play.
22
00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:50,253
You're writing a what?
23
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:51,254
A play.
24
00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:59,262
And there it is... finished.
25
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,764
125 pages dripping with drama
26
00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:05,268
dripping with intrigue, dripping with
excitement!
27
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:07,270
I better get the mop.
28
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:09,272
Never mind.
29
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,774
I wonder if Ethel's ready with her
costume.
30
00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:13,776
(stomping rhythm of "shave and a
haircut")
31
00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:15,278
(pounding "two bits")
32
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Good.
33
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:18,281
Oh, I wonder what she looks like.
34
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,283
Uh, excuse me, Mrs. Shakespeare
35
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,785
but, um... would you mind telling me
36
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what this is all about?
37
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:26,289
Well, you see, all the women's clubs
in town
38
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:28,291
are having a big playwriting contest.
39
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:31,294
I knew it, I knew it.
40
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,296
This had to do
41
00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:36,799
with the Wednesday Afternoon Fang and
Claw Society.
42
00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:39,802
It's the Wednesday Afternoon Fine
Arts League.
43
00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:41,804
Gee, just think, if our play wins
44
00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:44,307
I might become a big, famous
playwright.
45
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:47,310
I might become another Tennessee
Ernie.
46
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,813
That's Tennessee Williams.
47
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:52,315
Oh.
48
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:55,318
You know, that's a very interesting
name-- Tennessee.
49
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,320
I wonder what I should call myself?
50
00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,323
How about "South Dakota Ricardo"?
51
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:02,325
No, it's not so good, is it?
52
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:05,328
Why don't you tell them you were born
in Providence?
53
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,830
Then they can call you "Rhode Island
Red."
54
00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:12,335
Stop.
55
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:15,838
Incidentally, how do you happen to be
the one
56
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,840
who's writing this play?
57
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,342
How do you think?
58
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:22,345
You're the only one that has a
typewriter?
59
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:23,846
No, smarty.
60
00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,348
I happen to be very close
61
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,850
to the star who's going to play the
lead.
62
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:30,853
Oh? Anyone I know?
63
00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:32,855
Well, I-I can't reveal his name.
64
00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:34,357
I'm saving it for publicity.
65
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,358
Uh-huh.
66
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,360
Uh, this, uh...
this, uh, star
67
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,362
that is going to play the lead...
68
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:42,865
his initials aren't "Ricky Ricardo,"
are they?
69
00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:44,867
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
70
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:46,869
Hah! You flatter yourself.
71
00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:48,871
ETHEL: Da, da, da...
72
00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:51,374
(to the tune of "Habanera" from
Carmen)
73
00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:53,376
Da, da, da, Da-da, da, da, da.
74
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:56,879
Could I help you, madam?
75
00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:57,880
That's Ethel.
76
00:04:58,881 --> 00:05:01,384
(yells)
77
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,386
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.
78
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:04,887
How do you like my costume?
79
00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:06,889
It's just wonderful, Ethel.
80
00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:08,391
Who are you supposed to be?
81
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:09,892
Well, what do you think?
82
00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:12,895
The Bride of Frankenstein?
83
00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:13,896
Well!
84
00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:15,898
She's a Spanish senora.
85
00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:17,900
She suffers in the translation.
86
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:18,901
Oh...
87
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,403
Are you ready for rehearsal?
88
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,904
Rehearsal?
89
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:23,906
You mean you finished the whole play
since dinner?
90
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:25,408
Uh-huh.
It's only been two hours.
91
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,910
Well, that's nothing for a famous
playwright
92
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:28,911
like "Rhode Island Red."
93
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:29,912
Huh?
94
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:31,414
Oh, he means me.
95
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,915
Pay no attention to him.
96
00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:34,417
What did it turn out to be
97
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:35,918
a comedy, a drama or an epic?
98
00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:37,920
She wasn't sure when she started.
99
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:38,921
Oh.
100
00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:39,922
A drama.
101
00:05:39,922 --> 00:05:40,923
Light or heavy?
102
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,425
Well, about medium, I think.
103
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:43,926
Well, that does it.
104
00:05:43,926 --> 00:05:46,929
Let me know when rehearsal is over.
105
00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:48,931
I thought maybe that you'd help us
out
106
00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:50,433
by reading the man's part.
107
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:51,934
Well, honey, if I'm not going to be
in it
108
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:52,935
what good would that do?
109
00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,437
Well, uh...
110
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:57,440
Oh, please, Ricky, won't you do it
for me...
111
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,942
and "Rhode Island Red"?
112
00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:00,943
Well, all right.
113
00:06:00,943 --> 00:06:02,445
If you put it that way, I will.
114
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:03,446
Good.
115
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,447
What is it all about?
116
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:07,950
Well, it's a tender, moving,
heart-rending story
117
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,952
of a Cuban tobacco picker
118
00:06:09,952 --> 00:06:12,955
and his love for the plantation
owner's daughter.
119
00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:16,459
Wait a minute.
120
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:19,462
This play is all about a Cuban
tobacco picker?
121
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:20,463
Yes, but don't worry--
122
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:21,964
you're not going to be in it.
123
00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:22,965
Now, you go out in the kitchen
124
00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:24,467
and wait for your entrance cue.
125
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:25,468
Now, go on.
Go on.
126
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:26,469
All right.
127
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:27,970
Now, remember, Ethel
128
00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,972
I am a gorgeous, dark-eyed beauty
129
00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:33,476
and you're my fat, ugly, old crone of
a mother.
130
00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:34,477
Fat?
131
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:35,478
Yes.
132
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,480
Well, it'll take a lot of acting
133
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:38,481
but I guess I can do it.
134
00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:39,482
All right.
135
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:40,983
Now, as the scene opens
136
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,486
you're sitting outside your hacienda
137
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:47,490
and you're rocking back and forth on
your veranda.
138
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:48,991
Now, you're seated there.
139
00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:50,993
You're rocking back and forth
140
00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:54,497
and you're singing, and I come out of
my hacienda.
141
00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:58,501
(screeching the "Habanera")
142
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:01,504
La, la, la, la-la, la, la, la...
143
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,005
(voice deepens)
144
00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:05,007
How long do I keep singing?
145
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:08,010
Till I make my entrance.
146
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,513
La, la, la, la-la, la, la
147
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:14,016
La-la, la, la, la-la, la, la, la...
148
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,520
?Como esta, Mamasita?
149
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:20,022
"My bean, Lukita."
150
00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:23,526
"My bean, Lukita."
151
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:26,529
That's "Muy bien, Lucita."
152
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:33,035
Oh.
153
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:35,037
Yeah.
"Muy bien, Lucita."
154
00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:38,541
Mamasita, how you like me in my new
dress?
155
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,043
"You look very pretty, Lucita.
156
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:43,546
"Your hair is shining, your eyes are
bright
157
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:46,549
and your nose is continued on the
next page."
158
00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:54,557
You don't read that-- that's the
directions.
159
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:55,558
Well, how can I tell?
160
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:56,559
It's all run together.
161
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:58,561
Well, I typed it in a big hurry,
162
00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:00,563
Now, go on...
and read it with an accent.
163
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,064
This is in Spanish.
164
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:03,065
Oh.
165
00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:06,068
"Why are you all dressed up, Lucita?"
166
00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:09,572
Because I think I go for a walk
through the mango trees.
167
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:11,073
"That's nice?"
168
00:08:11,073 --> 00:08:14,577
(nasal): "That's nice? That's nice?"
169
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,579
What's the matter?
That's not a question!
170
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,581
Well, there's a question mark here.
171
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:20,082
There is not.
172
00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:21,083
Look.
173
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:22,585
Oh. Well, there shouldn't be.
174
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,086
You ought to know that.
175
00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:26,589
How should I ought to know that?
176
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:28,090
Well, go on, go on.
177
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:29,091
"That's nice.
178
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:31,093
Do you go alone?"
179
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:33,095
Si, I go alone.
180
00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:34,096
"Eh, eh, eh!
181
00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:37,099
I think you go there to meet your
liver."
182
00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:38,100
Lover!
183
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:47,109
"I think you go there to meet your
lover
184
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:50,112
"that worthless, good-for-nothing
tobacco picker.
185
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:52,114
"How can you even look at him--
186
00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:54,617
you, the plantation owner's
daughter?"
187
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:57,620
Shush, Mamasita, here he comes now.
188
00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:02,124
(louder): Shush, Mamasita, here he
comes now.
189
00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:04,627
Ricky, that's your cue!
190
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:05,628
Oh.
191
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:08,130
(chewing)
192
00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:10,633
(garbled): Senora y senorita.
193
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:11,634
Buenas noches.
194
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,135
?Como estan?
195
00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:14,637
What are you doing with a sandwich?
196
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,639
I didn't write that into the script.
197
00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:19,141
Well, I got so hungry waiting for my
cue, I ad-libbed it.
198
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:21,644
Well, swallow and come on.
199
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,145
All right.
200
00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:25,648
Uh... "Buenas noches, senora y
senorita.
201
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:26,649
?Como estan?"
202
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:29,151
?Como esta, mi amor?
203
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:31,654
"?Como esta, you big bum?"
204
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:35,157
Oh, you pay no attention to Mama,
Fernando.
205
00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:36,659
She no feel well.
206
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:37,660
Now you kneel.
207
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,161
I kneel. All right.
208
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:40,162
Uh...
209
00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:43,165
"I am sorry to hear you don't feel
well, Mamasita.
210
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:46,168
Are you having trouble with your
lover?"
211
00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:46,669
Liver!
212
00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:56,679
"Are you having trouble with your
liver?"
213
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,180
"No, I am not, Fernando.
214
00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,682
"I am feeling not well
215
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:02,184
"because you are in love with my
daughter
216
00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:03,686
"but you have no way
217
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:06,188
to make money to support her, do
you?"
218
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:07,690
"No, I dun't."
219
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:12,194
No, Mama, he "dun't."
220
00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:14,196
Now, wait a minute, Wait a minute.
221
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:16,699
Wh-What's the idea of making fun of
me in this play?
222
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,200
Fun of you?
223
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:22,204
Yeah, look at the way you got "don't"
spelled: D-U-N-T.
224
00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:25,207
Well, that's a typographical error.
225
00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:26,208
Yeah?
226
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:27,209
Yeah, now go on.
227
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:28,210
All right.
228
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:29,712
"Someday I will be
229
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:31,213
"a big man, senora.
230
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:34,216
I am learning how to play the conga
drum."
231
00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:37,720
Oh, yes, Mama, he make nice music on
the drum.
232
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,722
Lots of noise, Mama, yes.
233
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,724
Mm-hmm.
234
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:44,226
"Someday I will become famous
235
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,228
"by singing a song called...
236
00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:48,230
'Babaloo'"?
237
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,232
LUCY: Uh, it's a very nice song,
Mama.
238
00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:51,734
iBabaloo! iBabaloo!
239
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:55,237
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a
minute, wait a minute.
240
00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:57,239
Who is this Cuban tobacco picker
241
00:10:57,239 --> 00:11:00,242
who plays the conga drums and sings
"Babaloo"?
242
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:01,243
Guess.
243
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:04,747
Sir Cedric Hardwicke?
244
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,749
No.
245
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,251
John Charles Thomas?
246
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:10,252
No.
247
00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:11,253
Lassie?
248
00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:12,755
All right, Ricky.
249
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:15,257
I wrote the whole thing with you in
mind.
250
00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:16,258
No!
251
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:17,760
Well, I thought when you read it
252
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,261
and you found out what a good part it
was
253
00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:20,262
you'd want to be in it.
254
00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:23,265
Well, Lucy, I realize that this part
255
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:26,769
will make Laurence Olivier hop on the
next boat
256
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:29,689
but, uh... thanks just the same.
257
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,607
But Ricky, you've got to do it.
258
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:32,608
Why?
259
00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:34,610
Well, because...
260
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,112
Because that's the only reason
261
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:37,613
they let Lucy write the play. (gasps)
262
00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:39,615
Lucy!
263
00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:42,118
You mean, you were just using me
264
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:45,121
to further your own selfish purposes?
265
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,122
For shame!
266
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:48,124
LUCY: But Ricky...
267
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,625
I am sorry, I am not interested.
268
00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:51,127
Get yourself a new boy.
269
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,128
Good-bye.
270
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:55,131
Ricky Ricardo, you'll regret this!
271
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:57,633
Well, I'm pretty sure that I will
272
00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,635
but, uh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Playwright.
273
00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:01,637
Thanks for thinking of me.
274
00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:03,139
I will always treasure
275
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:07,143
this original carbon copy of your
masterpiece... forever.
276
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:10,146
Oh...
277
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:13,649
Oh, Lucy, I'm sorry I had to open my
big, fat mouth.
278
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:15,151
Well, don't you worry, Ethel.
279
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:16,652
There's a lot of actors in this town
280
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,154
that'll jump at the chance
281
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:20,406
and I'm going to call them right now.
282
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,241
Uh-huh?
283
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,243
Yes.
284
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:29,248
Well, yes, yes, it's an original play
for a woman's club.
285
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:33,085
Oh, yes, you'll be the star.
286
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,053
How's that?
287
00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:36,055
Oh, no, we can't pay you anything.
288
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:37,556
Well, you see, our club...
289
00:12:37,556 --> 00:12:39,058
Hello?
290
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:42,561
Hello?
291
00:12:42,561 --> 00:12:44,063
Hello...
292
00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:45,564
Oh.
293
00:12:45,564 --> 00:12:48,000
Good morning, Lucy.
How you doing?
294
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,001
Oh, awful.
295
00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:50,503
Actors are certainly peculiar.
296
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,505
They won't work unless you pay them.
297
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,006
Well, look, Lucy...
298
00:12:54,006 --> 00:12:56,509
Hmm?
as long as you haven't found anyone
to play the part
299
00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:58,010
I know someone who'll do it.
300
00:12:58,010 --> 00:12:59,512
Really?
Is he the right type?
301
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:00,513
Oh, sure.
302
00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:02,014
He's a real Latin lover.
303
00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:03,015
I'll bring him in.
304
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:04,517
Oh!
305
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,519
Introducing Fernando.
306
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,020
Tah-dah!
307
00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:10,523
(singing "Toreador Song" from Carmen)
308
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:13,025
Ya, dya-da, dya, dya, dya-da, dya-da,
da.
309
00:13:13,025 --> 00:13:15,528
(snorts)
310
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:19,031
Oh, Ethel, why do you always foist
Fred on me?
311
00:13:19,031 --> 00:13:19,949
Foist?
312
00:13:20,449 --> 00:13:21,450
Yes, foist.
313
00:13:21,450 --> 00:13:22,952
You're some Latin lover.
314
00:13:22,952 --> 00:13:25,454
Well, I took Latin in high school.
315
00:13:25,454 --> 00:13:27,456
Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis,
amant.
316
00:13:27,456 --> 00:13:28,958
What's the matter with that?
317
00:13:28,958 --> 00:13:30,960
But this is Spanish.
318
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,462
Do you know how to speak Spanish?
319
00:13:33,462 --> 00:13:35,965
Bonus nokas, sinura.
320
00:13:35,965 --> 00:13:38,968
There, he sounds just like Ricky.
321
00:13:38,968 --> 00:13:41,470
Yeah, he sounds like Ricky speaking
English.
322
00:13:41,470 --> 00:13:43,973
Well, maybe he doesn't look the part
323
00:13:43,973 --> 00:13:45,975
and maybe he can't speak Spanish
324
00:13:45,975 --> 00:13:47,476
but you'll have to admit
325
00:13:47,476 --> 00:13:49,979
there's one thing in his favor.
326
00:13:49,979 --> 00:13:50,980
What?
327
00:13:50,980 --> 00:13:52,481
He's willing to do it.
328
00:13:52,481 --> 00:13:54,483
Oh, what a spot to be in.
329
00:13:54,483 --> 00:13:57,403
You know who's going to judge these
plays?
330
00:13:57,403 --> 00:13:59,872
A big movie producer, Darryl B.
Mayer.
331
00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:01,874
What a chance to be seen.
332
00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:02,875
Yeah, and I'm stuck
333
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:04,376
with Fat Freddy, the Latin lover.
334
00:14:04,376 --> 00:14:06,378
Oh, now, wait a minute, Lucy.
335
00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:07,379
Give us a break.
336
00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:08,881
Why, I'll go on a diet.
337
00:14:08,881 --> 00:14:10,382
Well, that isn't the only thing,
Fred.
338
00:14:10,382 --> 00:14:11,884
The important thing is the way you
sound.
339
00:14:11,884 --> 00:14:13,385
Can you speak any other language?
340
00:14:13,385 --> 00:14:15,387
Say, he can do British.
341
00:14:15,387 --> 00:14:16,388
He can?
342
00:14:16,388 --> 00:14:18,390
(imitating accent): Well, rather, old
thing.
343
00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:21,894
I'll put you through to my secretary.
344
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:23,896
Cheerio! Pip-pip!
345
00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:26,398
And all that silly sort of rot.
346
00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:27,900
Hey, that isn't bad.
347
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:29,401
How about you, Ethel?
348
00:14:29,401 --> 00:14:31,403
Oh, definitely, darling.
349
00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:32,905
Right-o, old bean.
350
00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:34,406
Good show, Deborah.
351
00:14:34,406 --> 00:14:35,407
Thank you.
352
00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:36,909
Ha-ha!
That's wonderful.
353
00:14:37,409 --> 00:14:38,410
How about you, Lucy?
354
00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:39,912
Uh, let's see now.
355
00:14:39,912 --> 00:14:41,413
Uh... afternoon, Mater.
356
00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:43,415
Pater won't be down for tea.
357
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:44,917
We just buried him.
358
00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:47,419
Had to-- dead, you know.
359
00:14:47,419 --> 00:14:48,420
(all laughing)
360
00:14:48,921 --> 00:14:49,922
Oh, this is great!
361
00:14:49,922 --> 00:14:52,424
I'll switch the whole thing to
England.
362
00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:53,425
Right-o?
363
00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:54,426
BOTH: Right-o!
364
00:14:54,426 --> 00:14:56,428
Right-o! Pip-pip, cheerio, here we
go.
365
00:15:04,753 --> 00:15:07,256
(in British accent:)
Well, there you are.
366
00:15:07,256 --> 00:15:08,257
(chuckles)
367
00:15:08,257 --> 00:15:10,759
Good morning, ladies.
368
00:15:10,759 --> 00:15:14,763
Would you pour me a spot of tea, my
dear louse?
369
00:15:16,265 --> 00:15:17,266
Louse?
370
00:15:20,769 --> 00:15:24,273
Oh... "My dear Louise."
371
00:15:24,273 --> 00:15:25,274
Hiya, Fred.
372
00:15:25,274 --> 00:15:26,775
Hi.
373
00:15:26,775 --> 00:15:29,278
I just came down to see if you want
to go to the fights.
374
00:15:29,278 --> 00:15:32,281
You know, Lucy is going to be in that
stupid play.
375
00:15:32,281 --> 00:15:33,282
I can't make it, Rick.
376
00:15:33,282 --> 00:15:34,783
Why not?
377
00:15:34,783 --> 00:15:36,785
Well, I'm going to be in the stupid
play, too.
378
00:15:36,785 --> 00:15:39,288
You are going to...?
379
00:15:39,288 --> 00:15:41,290
(laughing)
380
00:15:47,296 --> 00:15:49,798
(laughing mockingly)
381
00:15:54,303 --> 00:15:55,804
You mean to tell me
382
00:15:55,804 --> 00:15:57,806
you let them make a boob out of you?
383
00:15:57,806 --> 00:15:59,308
(laughing)
384
00:15:59,308 --> 00:16:01,310
All right, go ahead and laugh.
385
00:16:01,310 --> 00:16:04,813
Just wait till Darryl B. Mayer gets a
gander at my performance.
386
00:16:04,813 --> 00:16:06,315
Darryl B. Mayer?
387
00:16:06,315 --> 00:16:07,316
Yeah.
388
00:16:07,316 --> 00:16:10,319
What does he want with a corny
contest like that?
389
00:16:10,319 --> 00:16:12,821
He's just going to judge the whole
thing, that's all.
390
00:16:12,821 --> 00:16:15,824
Hollywood, here I come.
391
00:16:15,824 --> 00:16:17,326
(laughing)
392
00:16:17,326 --> 00:16:18,827
Darryl B. Mayer!
393
00:16:18,827 --> 00:16:21,330
Where you get an idea like that?
394
00:16:21,330 --> 00:16:22,831
It's in the morning paper.
Here.
395
00:16:22,831 --> 00:16:23,832
It is?
396
00:16:23,832 --> 00:16:25,834
Take a look at it yourself.
397
00:16:32,341 --> 00:16:35,344
Uh... Fred...
398
00:16:35,344 --> 00:16:36,345
old chum...
399
00:16:36,345 --> 00:16:38,347
old pal...
400
00:16:38,347 --> 00:16:39,348
old buddy...
401
00:16:39,348 --> 00:16:40,349
Yeah?
402
00:16:40,349 --> 00:16:42,851
We've been friends for a long time.
403
00:16:42,851 --> 00:16:43,852
Yeah.
404
00:16:43,852 --> 00:16:46,355
Well, I'm not going to let them do
this to you.
405
00:16:46,355 --> 00:16:47,356
You're not?
406
00:16:47,356 --> 00:16:48,357
No, sir.
407
00:16:48,357 --> 00:16:49,858
Old chum...
408
00:16:49,858 --> 00:16:50,859
old pal...
409
00:16:50,859 --> 00:16:51,860
Old buddy.
410
00:16:53,862 --> 00:16:57,366
I'm not going to let them make a boob
out of you.
411
00:16:57,366 --> 00:16:58,867
You're not?
412
00:16:58,867 --> 00:17:01,370
No, sir. I'm going to let them make a
boob out of me.
413
00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:04,373
And incidentally, let Mayer make a
star out of you.
414
00:17:04,373 --> 00:17:07,876
Fred, you hurt me when you say things
like that.
415
00:17:07,876 --> 00:17:15,884
You don't realize what a tremendous
sacrifice I'm making.
416
00:17:15,884 --> 00:17:19,388
and Lucy's would be worse than any of
them.
417
00:17:19,388 --> 00:17:21,890
Now, if Mayer sees you in a flop...
418
00:17:21,890 --> 00:17:23,892
you're finished.
419
00:17:23,892 --> 00:17:26,395
You know, I hadn't thought of that.
420
00:17:26,395 --> 00:17:27,896
I guess you're right.
421
00:17:27,896 --> 00:17:29,398
Of course I'm right.
422
00:17:29,398 --> 00:17:31,400
When is the play, tonight?
Yeah.
423
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,902
Well, I better go upstairs and
rehearse my part, eh?
424
00:17:33,902 --> 00:17:34,903
Well, here, take this.
425
00:17:34,903 --> 00:17:36,405
No, no, I-I have my own script
426
00:17:36,905 --> 00:17:39,408
but listen, don't say anything to
Lucy, eh?
427
00:17:39,408 --> 00:17:41,410
I want to surprise her, see?
428
00:17:41,410 --> 00:17:43,912
I don't, uh... I don't want her to
think
429
00:17:43,912 --> 00:17:46,415
that I'm trying to get into her play.
430
00:17:46,415 --> 00:17:48,917
Oh, then you are trying to get into
it.
431
00:17:48,917 --> 00:17:50,419
Now, wait a minute.
432
00:17:50,419 --> 00:17:51,420
All right, Rick...
433
00:17:51,420 --> 00:17:52,421
old pal...
434
00:17:52,421 --> 00:17:54,423
old chum...
435
00:17:54,423 --> 00:17:55,924
old buddy...
436
00:17:55,924 --> 00:17:57,426
I'm not going to let you do it.
437
00:17:57,926 --> 00:17:58,427
Why not?
438
00:17:58,927 --> 00:18:00,929
Because the play is going to be a
flop--
439
00:18:00,929 --> 00:18:01,930
you said so yourself--
440
00:18:01,930 --> 00:18:03,932
and you can't afford to be in a flop.
441
00:18:03,932 --> 00:18:05,934
Well, Fred, you seem to forget
442
00:18:05,934 --> 00:18:08,437
one little thing that makes it
different.
443
00:18:08,437 --> 00:18:09,438
Oh, what's that?
444
00:18:09,438 --> 00:18:14,443
With me in it, how can it possibly be
a flop?
445
00:18:14,443 --> 00:18:18,447
Yeah, I did forget that.
446
00:18:18,447 --> 00:18:20,449
Adios.
447
00:18:20,449 --> 00:18:21,950
Adios.
448
00:18:26,238 --> 00:18:27,606
(applause)
449
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:32,111
You have just seen Mrs. Glazingham's
play
450
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:35,114
entitled Pearl One, Drop Two
451
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:38,117
or Much Ado about Knitting.
452
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:42,121
(giggling)
453
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:45,124
Isn't that a dear title?
454
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:48,127
(giggling)
455
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,628
Knitting... I-I think...
456
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,630
Oh, well, anyway, um...
457
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,632
(clears throat)
458
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,134
That brings us
459
00:18:55,134 --> 00:19:00,139
to the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts
entry in our contest.
460
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,642
It was written by Mrs. Ricky Ricardo
461
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:07,146
and is entitled The Perils of Pamela.
462
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:11,150
Take it away, Wednesday Afternoon
Fine Arts League.
463
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,653
(applause)
464
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,655
A pip-pip and toodle-oo.
465
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:19,158
I wonder what could be keeping my
daughter Pamela.
466
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:21,660
She should have been here a fortnight
ago.
467
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,662
(cowbell rings)
468
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:26,165
Ah, there's dear old Pam now.
469
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:30,169
(thumping)
470
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:33,172
(banging)
471
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:36,675
Oh... oh, I must have been jolly well
mistaken.
472
00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:39,178
There's obviously no one there.
473
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,682
Ah, here she comes now.
474
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:45,684
She's coming up the walk.
475
00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:47,686
She must have had terrible trouble
476
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,189
tethering her 'orse.
477
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,709
Psst!
478
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,211
Oh, daughter!
479
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,712
How you startled me!
480
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,215
Afternoon, Mater.
481
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,717
Afternoon, daughter.
482
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:22,721
Well, I don't mind telling you,
Mater, I've 'ad it.
483
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:28,727
Why, whatever do you mean, Pamela?
484
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,730
All morning long I was riding the
hounds
485
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:34,233
and frankly, I'm pooped.
486
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:37,236
Tired from riding the 'ounds?
487
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:41,240
Yes, and I do believe
488
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,245
Pamela, what you need is a spot of
tea.
489
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,246
Right-o, Mater.
490
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,747
That's it, a spot of tea.
491
00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:50,249
Thank you very much.
492
00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:53,752
There you are.
493
00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:54,753
Thank you.
494
00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:56,755
May I have some sugar?
495
00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:57,756
Thank you.
496
00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:59,258
May I have some milk?
497
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,759
Thank you.
498
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:02,761
May I have a needle and thread?
499
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:04,263
Whatever for?
500
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,265
I have a nasty tear in my tea bag.
501
00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:12,271
Pamela...
502
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:21,280
I've been wanting to talk to you.
503
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,781
What's the mater, Matter?
504
00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:24,783
Uh, what's the matter, Mater?
505
00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:27,786
It's about this Reggie you've been
going with.
506
00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:28,787
Oh!
507
00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:31,290
Not another word, Mater.
508
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:36,295
I love the lad.
509
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:39,298
That's all that matters, Mater.
510
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:44,303
Well, we'll take this up with Pater
later.
511
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:45,804
Mater!
512
00:21:45,804 --> 00:21:47,306
Now, Pamela.
513
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:50,809
Oh, here comes Reggie now.
514
00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:04,323
Buenas noches
515
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:05,824
senora y senorita.
516
00:22:05,824 --> 00:22:06,825
?Como estan?
517
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,831
LUCY: Ricky!
518
00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:14,333
Uh, uh...
519
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:15,834
Reggie!
520
00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:16,835
What happened?
521
00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:18,337
Uh...
522
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,339
Oh, I know, Mater.
523
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:21,340
You do?
524
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,841
Yes, Reggie's all dressed up
525
00:22:22,841 --> 00:22:24,843
for the king's birthday ball.
526
00:22:24,843 --> 00:22:26,845
(chuckling): Oh, good show!
527
00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:28,347
Yes, good show.
528
00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:30,349
MAN IN AUDIENCE: I think it stinks.
529
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:32,351
Uh... uh, Reggie, what you need is
530
00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:34,353
a spot of tea and a crumpet.
531
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:37,856
Si, Mamasita.
532
00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:43,362
Si, Mamasita.
533
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:45,364
I'm sorry you're not feeling well.
534
00:22:45,864 --> 00:22:48,367
Are you having trouble with your
liver?
535
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:49,368
Um...
536
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:50,369
What now?
537
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:53,372
There will be a short intermission.
538
00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:54,873
(mouthing words)
539
00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:58,877
I don't know.
What's happen...?
540
00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:00,379
Ricky, what's the matter with you?
541
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:01,880
I never was so humiliated in my life.
542
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,383
What are you trying to do, ruin my
whole play?
543
00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:05,884
Yeah, what are you trying to do?
544
00:23:05,884 --> 00:23:07,886
No, no, honest, I was trying to be
good.
545
00:23:07,886 --> 00:23:09,888
I just wanted to surprise you.
What happened?
546
00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:12,891
"What happened?" You're doing the
wrong script.
547
00:23:12,891 --> 00:23:13,892
We switched to British.
548
00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:14,893
This is the one we're doing.
549
00:23:14,893 --> 00:23:16,395
Oh, well, what are we going to do?
550
00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:17,896
Well, we'll just have to change
551
00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:19,398
so that we're all doing the same
thing.
552
00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:20,899
Oh, all right, all right.
553
00:23:20,899 --> 00:23:21,900
Oh, Lucy...
554
00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:22,901
What's happened?
555
00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:24,403
What shall I tell the audience?
556
00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:26,405
Well, tell them that we're going to
change costumes
557
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:29,408
and we're going back to the original
version, A Tree Grows in Havana.
558
00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:31,910
Oh, I hope I don't get my "cheerios"
mixed up
559
00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:33,412
with my "como estas."
560
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:35,414
You won't.
Come on.
561
00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:36,415
Oh, what shall we do?
562
00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:38,417
Well, entertain them, Miss Mitchell.
563
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:39,418
Entertain them.
564
00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:40,919
Me?!
565
00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:41,920
Sure, go ahead.
566
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:43,922
Oh, all right.
567
00:23:43,922 --> 00:23:46,425
I just happened to bring a poem.
568
00:23:50,962 --> 00:23:53,982
"By the shores of Gitche Gumee
569
00:23:53,982 --> 00:23:56,485
"By the shining big-sea-water
570
00:23:56,485 --> 00:23:59,488
"Stood the wigwam of Nokomis
571
00:23:59,488 --> 00:24:02,991
"Daughter of the moon, Nokomis.
572
00:24:02,991 --> 00:24:06,995
"Dark behind it rose the forest
573
00:24:06,995 --> 00:24:10,999
"Rose the black and gloomy pine trees
574
00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:16,004
"Rose the firs with cones upon them
575
00:24:16,004 --> 00:24:17,506
Rose the..."
576
00:24:24,012 --> 00:24:28,517
We will continue with A Tree Grows in
Havana.
577
00:24:31,019 --> 00:24:34,022
La, la, la, la-la, la, la
578
00:24:34,523 --> 00:24:36,525
La-la, la, la...
579
00:24:36,525 --> 00:24:38,026
?Como esta, Mamasita?
580
00:24:38,026 --> 00:24:40,028
Muy bien, Lucita.
581
00:24:40,028 --> 00:24:43,031
How you like my dress, Mamasita?
582
00:24:43,031 --> 00:24:45,534
It is very pretty but why are you all
dressed up for?
583
00:24:45,534 --> 00:24:49,538
Because I go for a walk through the
mango trees.
584
00:24:49,538 --> 00:24:51,039
Do you go alone?
585
00:24:51,540 --> 00:24:53,542
Si, I go alone.
586
00:24:53,542 --> 00:24:55,043
Eh, eh, eh!
587
00:24:55,043 --> 00:24:58,046
I think you go there to meet your
lover, Fernando
588
00:24:58,046 --> 00:25:01,049
that good-for-nothing, worthless
tobacco picker.
589
00:25:01,049 --> 00:25:04,052
Shush, Mamasita, here he comes now.
590
00:25:10,559 --> 00:25:14,062
Chip-chip, heerio, and all that sort
of thing.
591
00:25:14,062 --> 00:25:16,565
Anyone for tennis?
592
00:25:21,570 --> 00:25:24,072
Oh, no.
593
00:25:24,072 --> 00:25:25,073
Oh!
594
00:25:25,073 --> 00:25:26,074
What happened?
595
00:25:26,074 --> 00:25:27,576
Oh...
596
00:25:33,815 --> 00:25:37,202
(theme music playing)
597
00:25:42,207 --> 00:25:45,210
The part of the Club Woman was played
by Myra Marsh.
598
00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:49,214
The part of the Stage Manager was
played by Maury Thompson.
599
00:26:23,248 --> 00:26:27,252
Captioned by Media Access Group at
WGBH access.wgbh.org
600
00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:30,255
ANNOUNCER: I Love Lucy is a Desilu
production.
39460
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