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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,469
(music)
2
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(theme music playing)
3
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(theme music ending)
4
00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:29,996
Ricky!
5
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Ricky!
6
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Ricky!
7
00:00:36,002 --> 00:00:38,004
LUCY: He isn't home yet.
8
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(whines:)
Oh!
9
00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:41,424
And what is this, Ethel?
10
00:00:41,424 --> 00:00:42,425
It's the third time today
11
00:00:42,425 --> 00:00:44,427
you've been up here asking for Ricky.
12
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Well, Fred and I want to talk to him
about his ad in Variety.
13
00:00:46,429 --> 00:00:47,914
Ethel...
Ad in Variety?
Uh-huh.
14
00:00:47,914 --> 00:00:49,916
See you later, Lucy.
We got to go.
15
00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:50,917
Ethel, what is it?
16
00:00:50,917 --> 00:00:52,419
Come on, Ethel.
Ethel, tell me.
17
00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:53,420
Come on!
Ethel!
18
00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:54,421
Wait a minute!
19
00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:55,422
One of you let go
20
00:00:55,422 --> 00:00:57,924
or I'm going to have a split
personality.
21
00:00:57,924 --> 00:01:00,927
All right, Ethel, let's have it.
22
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Well?
Well, as long as you've opened your
big bazoo
23
00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:05,432
you might as well tell her the whole
thing.
24
00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:06,933
All right.
25
00:01:06,933 --> 00:01:07,934
You see, it's this way.
26
00:01:07,934 --> 00:01:09,436
We saw Ricky's ad in Variety.
27
00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:10,937
Ricky's ad?
What's it for?
28
00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:13,440
He's looking for new acts for his
show down at the club.
29
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I didn't see that.
30
00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:16,943
Where's our Variety?
31
00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:17,944
Here it is.
32
00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:20,447
It's inside the back page, I think.
33
00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:21,448
Oh. (gasps)
34
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:22,449
How do you like that?
35
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He cut it out.
36
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He told me there was
37
00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:27,954
a recipe in here he wanted to save.
38
00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:28,955
He's a slick one, all right.
39
00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:31,458
He'd do anything to keep you from
going in show business.
40
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:34,461
Yeah, well, what kind of acts does
Tricky Ricky need?
41
00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:35,962
Well, he needs a dance team.
42
00:01:35,962 --> 00:01:37,464
That's where Fred and I come in.
43
00:01:37,464 --> 00:01:39,466
Yeah, anywhere where I come in?
44
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,468
Well, he needs a good dog act.
45
00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:43,470
Well, thanks a lot.
46
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:44,971
Fred Mertz!
47
00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:47,474
And the ad said he needed a beautiful
showgirl, too.
48
00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:48,475
That's me!
Sure.
49
00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:49,976
Hey, looks like there's a spot
50
00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:51,478
for all of us in his show.
Yeah.
51
00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,480
And this time, we're not going to let
him
52
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:54,481
talk us out of it...
No.
53
00:01:54,481 --> 00:01:55,482
Not for one minute.
54
00:01:55,482 --> 00:01:56,483
Hi, everybody.
55
00:01:56,483 --> 00:02:01,988
(all humming tunes)
56
00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:18,004
What's going on here?
57
00:02:18,004 --> 00:02:21,007
We're answering your recipe in
Variety.
58
00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:22,509
Oh, so that's it, huh?
Yeah.
59
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:24,010
(Lucy humming)
Yeah, that's it.
60
00:02:24,010 --> 00:02:25,011
Give us a chance
61
00:02:25,011 --> 00:02:27,013
to show you our routine, will you,
Rick?
62
00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:28,515
Come on, you might...
you might like it
63
00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:30,517
if you give us a chance to show it to
you.
64
00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:32,018
(all clamoring)
65
00:02:32,018 --> 00:02:33,520
LUCY: Ricky!
66
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,021
(clamoring continuing)
67
00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:37,023
Thanks for coming down, folks.
68
00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:39,025
And don't call us, we'll call you.
69
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:40,527
(knocking/door buzzer buzzing)
70
00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:42,028
LUCY: Ricky, you open this door!
71
00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:45,031
I'm sorry, but the casting office is
closed for the day.
72
00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:48,535
Ricky Ricardo, you open this door!
(buzzing/pounding continuing)
73
00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:50,537
Who wants to come in--
74
00:02:50,537 --> 00:02:54,541
two dancers and a showgirl or the
Mertzes and my wife?
75
00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:56,042
(buzzing/pounding stops)
76
00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:59,045
Well, you better make up your mind.
77
00:02:59,045 --> 00:03:00,046
Who is going to be?
78
00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:02,999
(all humming)
79
00:03:10,006 --> 00:03:13,509
Hold it. Hold it.
80
00:03:13,509 --> 00:03:15,011
Hold it!
81
00:03:15,011 --> 00:03:16,012
FRED: What?
82
00:03:16,012 --> 00:03:17,013
Now, wait a minute.
83
00:03:17,013 --> 00:03:19,515
Now, Ricky, before you say no, take a
good look at us.
84
00:03:19,515 --> 00:03:21,517
Look at the Mertzes; they're
wonderful dancers.
85
00:03:21,517 --> 00:03:23,519
The least you could do is give them
an audition.
86
00:03:23,519 --> 00:03:26,522
Tah-dah!
87
00:03:26,522 --> 00:03:29,525
All right, all right, they can come
down and audition
88
00:03:29,525 --> 00:03:32,028
but you're not going to get any more
consideration
89
00:03:32,028 --> 00:03:33,029
than anyone else.
90
00:03:33,029 --> 00:03:34,530
Oh, fine, Ricky.
Good enough.
91
00:03:34,530 --> 00:03:36,032
All right. Now that that's all
settled
92
00:03:36,032 --> 00:03:37,533
how about a little game of cards, eh?
93
00:03:37,533 --> 00:03:39,035
Well, Ricky, what about me?
94
00:03:39,035 --> 00:03:40,536
Oh, you can play, too.
95
00:03:40,536 --> 00:03:43,539
No, no, I mean you're giving Fred and
Ethel their chance.
96
00:03:43,539 --> 00:03:46,042
Haven't you got a place for me in the
show?
97
00:03:46,042 --> 00:03:48,044
Why, sure, honey.
I got just the place for you.
98
00:03:48,544 --> 00:03:50,046
Where?
Out front, in the audience.
99
00:03:50,046 --> 00:03:51,547
Oh, you.
100
00:03:51,547 --> 00:03:53,549
Ricky, I think you're being mean.
101
00:03:53,549 --> 00:03:56,052
If you keep Lucy from doing what she
wants to do
102
00:03:56,052 --> 00:03:58,054
she'll develop some sort of a
complex.
103
00:03:58,054 --> 00:04:00,056
Yeah.
104
00:04:02,058 --> 00:04:03,559
She might become depressed.
105
00:04:03,559 --> 00:04:06,562
Yeah.
106
00:04:08,064 --> 00:04:10,566
She might even go off her trolley.
107
00:04:10,566 --> 00:04:14,504
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
108
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:17,507
Thank you, Dr. Mertz.
109
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:20,510
Now, what is it going to be-- bridge
or canasta?
110
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,011
Oh, Ricky, you make me so mad.
111
00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:24,013
Now, we're going to have this out
right now.
112
00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:26,516
You're never going to let me be in
your show, are you?
113
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,017
Never! Never! Never!
114
00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:30,019
Now, honey, don't be so upset.
115
00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:31,020
Who knows?
116
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:34,023
Maybe some day in the far, distant
future
117
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:36,025
you may get your chance.
118
00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:37,026
Where?
119
00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:39,529
In that big nightclub up yonder?
120
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:41,030
I can see it now--
121
00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:43,533
Ricky Ricardo and his Heavenly Revue
122
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:46,035
starring Lucy and her magic harp.
123
00:04:58,915 --> 00:05:01,417
Good morning, Lucy.
124
00:05:01,417 --> 00:05:02,418
Hi.
125
00:05:06,422 --> 00:05:08,424
Pour yourself a cup of coffee.
126
00:05:08,424 --> 00:05:10,927
Thanks, I will.
127
00:05:10,927 --> 00:05:12,428
Why don't you sit down?
128
00:05:12,428 --> 00:05:14,430
Don't mind if I do.
129
00:05:16,432 --> 00:05:18,434
Help yourself to a cookie.
130
00:05:18,434 --> 00:05:21,938
No, thanks, I'm not hungry.
131
00:05:21,938 --> 00:05:23,439
What are you reading?
132
00:05:23,439 --> 00:05:25,942
Listen, do you remember last night
when you told Ricky
133
00:05:25,942 --> 00:05:27,944
that if I didn't get into show
business
134
00:05:27,944 --> 00:05:29,946
I might develop some sort of a
complex?
135
00:05:29,946 --> 00:05:30,947
Yeah.
Well, you were right.
136
00:05:30,947 --> 00:05:32,448
Yeah?
I got this book at the library
137
00:05:32,949 --> 00:05:34,951
and it says anybody who is constantly
frustrated
138
00:05:34,951 --> 00:05:36,452
may do all sorts of things.
139
00:05:36,452 --> 00:05:37,453
So?
140
00:05:37,453 --> 00:05:38,454
So, look.
141
00:05:38,454 --> 00:05:39,956
Abnormal Psychology.
142
00:05:39,956 --> 00:05:43,459
Yeah, I'm learning to act abnormal.
143
00:05:43,459 --> 00:05:45,461
For this, you need a book?
144
00:05:45,461 --> 00:05:46,963
I thought you were on my side.
145
00:05:46,963 --> 00:05:48,965
I am, but I was just making all that
stuff up
146
00:05:48,965 --> 00:05:49,966
as I went along last night.
147
00:05:49,966 --> 00:05:51,467
I don't really know anything about
it.
148
00:05:51,968 --> 00:05:53,469
Oh, yes, you do.
Listen to this.
149
00:05:53,469 --> 00:05:57,473
"A person who is kept
150
00:05:57,473 --> 00:05:58,975
"may manifest this frustration
151
00:05:58,975 --> 00:06:00,476
"in the following ways:
152
00:06:00,476 --> 00:06:02,979
"One, he may assume the
characteristics
153
00:06:02,979 --> 00:06:05,481
of the person he is kept from
becoming."
154
00:06:05,481 --> 00:06:08,985
Now, you know Ricky's kept me from
becoming a famous actress.
155
00:06:08,985 --> 00:06:09,986
Uh-huh.
156
00:06:09,986 --> 00:06:11,988
"Two, he may develop amnesia."
157
00:06:11,988 --> 00:06:13,489
Uh-huh.
158
00:06:13,489 --> 00:06:15,992
"Three, he may withdraw from reality
159
00:06:15,992 --> 00:06:17,994
and become childlike again."
160
00:06:18,494 --> 00:06:19,996
Gee, what a keen bunch of complexes.
161
00:06:19,996 --> 00:06:20,997
Which one of them
162
00:06:20,997 --> 00:06:22,498
are you going to have?
163
00:06:22,498 --> 00:06:25,001
Which one? I'm going to have all
three of them.
164
00:06:26,502 --> 00:06:28,004
All three of them?
165
00:06:28,004 --> 00:06:29,505
Certainly.
166
00:06:29,505 --> 00:06:32,008
Well, this, I got to see.
167
00:06:35,511 --> 00:06:37,513
Lucy!
168
00:06:37,513 --> 00:06:39,015
I'm home!
169
00:06:50,526 --> 00:06:52,528
(husky voice:)
Hello, darling.
170
00:06:59,035 --> 00:07:00,536
Hello.
171
00:07:00,536 --> 00:07:04,040
How'd things go at rehearsal,
darling?
172
00:07:06,042 --> 00:07:08,044
Fine.
173
00:07:08,044 --> 00:07:10,046
How'd things go here at home?
174
00:07:10,046 --> 00:07:11,547
Oh, frightful, darling.
175
00:07:12,048 --> 00:07:13,549
The phone woke me at the crack of
noon.
176
00:07:14,050 --> 00:07:15,551
Noel called.
177
00:07:15,551 --> 00:07:18,054
We chatted till 1:00, I bathed till
2:00
178
00:07:18,054 --> 00:07:20,056
turned down scripts until 3:00.
179
00:07:20,056 --> 00:07:23,559
Then Noel darling sent me the most
darling present.
180
00:07:23,559 --> 00:07:25,561
Oh, yes, it was a darling Cadillac.
181
00:07:25,561 --> 00:07:29,065
You should really see it, darling,
it's darling.
182
00:07:32,068 --> 00:07:34,570
What is this?
183
00:07:34,570 --> 00:07:36,572
What's what, darling?
184
00:07:39,075 --> 00:07:42,078
Why don't you cut it out and be
yourself, huh?
185
00:07:42,078 --> 00:07:44,580
I'd be happy to be myself if I could
remember who I am.
186
00:07:44,580 --> 00:07:46,082
Who am I?
187
00:07:49,085 --> 00:07:50,586
Who are you?
188
00:07:50,586 --> 00:07:54,590
Well, don't you know either, buster?
189
00:07:54,590 --> 00:07:56,592
Buster?
190
00:07:56,592 --> 00:07:59,095
What kind of a gag is this?
191
00:07:59,095 --> 00:08:01,097
Now, Lucy, what are you trying to do?
192
00:08:01,597 --> 00:08:05,101
(with Southern drawl:)
Lucy... is that my name?
193
00:08:05,101 --> 00:08:08,104
Well, it was when I left here this
morning.
194
00:08:08,604 --> 00:08:12,608
Oh, do you live here, too?
195
00:08:12,608 --> 00:08:15,111
I have for the past five years.
196
00:08:15,111 --> 00:08:19,115
Oh, we better get married.
197
00:08:19,115 --> 00:08:20,616
We are married.
198
00:08:20,616 --> 00:08:22,118
Ha!
199
00:08:22,118 --> 00:08:25,621
You say that, but how do I know that
it's true?
200
00:08:25,621 --> 00:08:27,123
Honey, what are you talking about?
201
00:08:27,123 --> 00:08:29,625
You stay away from me, fresh.
202
00:08:29,625 --> 00:08:31,127
Fresh?
203
00:08:31,127 --> 00:08:33,629
I was told never to talk to strange
men.
204
00:08:33,629 --> 00:08:35,131
My mother told me...
205
00:08:35,131 --> 00:08:38,134
whoever she is.
206
00:08:43,139 --> 00:08:46,642
Honey, are you sure you're well?
207
00:08:46,642 --> 00:08:49,645
No, I'm not.
208
00:08:49,645 --> 00:08:51,147
Could it possibly be
209
00:08:51,147 --> 00:08:53,649
that you're suffering from magnesia?
210
00:08:57,153 --> 00:08:59,155
Amnesia!
211
00:08:59,155 --> 00:09:00,656
Oh, who am I?
212
00:09:00,656 --> 00:09:02,158
What am I?
213
00:09:02,158 --> 00:09:03,659
Where am I?
214
00:09:03,659 --> 00:09:05,661
Oh, honey...
Look, honey.
Look around you.
215
00:09:05,661 --> 00:09:08,164
Doesn't this place look familiar to
you?
216
00:09:08,164 --> 00:09:09,165
No.
217
00:09:09,165 --> 00:09:10,666
No.
218
00:09:10,666 --> 00:09:12,668
No.
219
00:09:12,668 --> 00:09:13,669
No.
220
00:09:13,669 --> 00:09:15,671
No.
221
00:09:15,671 --> 00:09:16,672
Oh!
222
00:09:18,674 --> 00:09:20,676
No.
223
00:09:23,179 --> 00:09:24,680
Oh, honey, now, come on, try to
think.
224
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:25,681
Honey, look...
225
00:09:25,681 --> 00:09:27,183
Oh, oh, honey, come here.
226
00:09:27,183 --> 00:09:28,684
Where?
Look. Look there. Look.
227
00:09:28,684 --> 00:09:31,187
Do you remember this picture?
I gave it to you.
228
00:09:31,187 --> 00:09:33,689
Oh, she's pretty.
229
00:09:33,689 --> 00:09:35,691
Who is she?
230
00:09:35,691 --> 00:09:37,693
Honey, I think you're really sick.
231
00:09:37,693 --> 00:09:40,696
May-May-Maybe you better go and lie
down, huh?
232
00:09:40,696 --> 00:09:42,698
All right, I'll go lie down.
233
00:09:42,698 --> 00:09:43,699
Yeah.
234
00:09:43,699 --> 00:09:45,701
Tha-That's not the bedroom, dear.
235
00:09:45,701 --> 00:09:46,702
Oh.
236
00:09:46,702 --> 00:09:47,703
That's not, either.
237
00:09:47,703 --> 00:09:49,205
Oh.
238
00:09:49,205 --> 00:09:50,206
No, honey, over...
239
00:09:50,206 --> 00:09:52,208
Honey, over here.
That's where the bedroom is.
240
00:09:52,208 --> 00:09:53,209
Oh.
Right here, honey.
241
00:09:53,209 --> 00:09:54,710
Oh.
Now, you take it easy, honey.
242
00:09:58,214 --> 00:10:02,218
You have a very lovely apartment
here, mister.
243
00:10:03,719 --> 00:10:05,721
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.
244
00:10:14,730 --> 00:10:16,732
Hello.
245
00:10:16,732 --> 00:10:19,235
Hello, is Dr. Stevenson in?
246
00:10:19,235 --> 00:10:20,736
Oh.
247
00:10:20,736 --> 00:10:23,239
Well, look, please-please tell him to
call me
248
00:10:23,239 --> 00:10:24,240
as soon as he gets in.
249
00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,742
Oh, this is Ricky Ricardo.
250
00:10:26,742 --> 00:10:27,743
Yes.
251
00:10:27,743 --> 00:10:29,745
It's about my wife.
252
00:10:29,745 --> 00:10:31,747
She's acting peculiar.
253
00:10:31,747 --> 00:10:34,250
Yeah, I know, I know.
254
00:10:37,253 --> 00:10:39,255
Well, this time it's even worse.
255
00:10:41,257 --> 00:10:42,258
What?
256
00:10:42,258 --> 00:10:44,260
Oh, I see.
257
00:10:44,260 --> 00:10:47,263
I should humor her until-until the
doctor calls me.
258
00:10:47,263 --> 00:10:49,265
All right, all right, I'll humor her.
259
00:10:49,265 --> 00:10:50,266
Yes.
260
00:10:50,266 --> 00:10:51,267
Bye.
261
00:10:51,267 --> 00:10:53,769
(childlike voice:)
Hi!
262
00:10:53,769 --> 00:10:55,271
Hi!
263
00:10:55,271 --> 00:10:57,773
(tricycle bell ringing)
264
00:10:57,773 --> 00:11:00,776
You want to play with me, little boy?
265
00:11:00,776 --> 00:11:02,778
Will you?
Huh? Huh? Huh?
266
00:11:02,778 --> 00:11:04,780
Yeah, sure, sure, I'll play with you.
267
00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:06,282
Take a lick of my sucker.
268
00:11:06,282 --> 00:11:07,783
Go on.
269
00:11:07,783 --> 00:11:09,785
Take a big lick.
270
00:11:09,785 --> 00:11:10,286
Go on.
271
00:11:10,286 --> 00:11:11,787
That's enough.
272
00:11:13,789 --> 00:11:16,292
(squealing gleefully)
273
00:11:19,295 --> 00:11:21,297
You want to play games, little boy?
274
00:11:21,297 --> 00:11:22,798
Sure, yeah, I'll play a game with
you.
275
00:11:22,798 --> 00:11:25,301
Okay, I'll be the leader.
You stay where you are.
276
00:11:25,301 --> 00:11:26,802
You want to play "May I?"
277
00:11:26,802 --> 00:11:27,303
Yeah, whatever you say.
278
00:11:27,803 --> 00:11:29,805
All right.
Okay, you stay right there, now.
279
00:11:29,805 --> 00:11:31,307
I won't, no.
Don't you go away.
280
00:11:31,807 --> 00:11:33,809
Okay, you take two giant steps.
281
00:11:33,809 --> 00:11:35,311
All right.
282
00:11:35,311 --> 00:11:36,312
May I?
283
00:11:36,312 --> 00:11:39,315
No!
284
00:11:39,315 --> 00:11:41,317
I want you to take me for a ride.
285
00:11:41,317 --> 00:11:42,318
All right.
286
00:11:42,318 --> 00:11:43,319
On my tricycle.
287
00:11:43,319 --> 00:11:44,320
Now, wait a minute...
288
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,322
On my tricycle!
On my tricycle!
289
00:11:46,322 --> 00:11:47,823
(groans loudly)
290
00:11:51,327 --> 00:11:52,328
All right.
291
00:11:52,328 --> 00:11:52,828
All right.
292
00:11:53,329 --> 00:11:54,330
All right, on the tricycle.
293
00:11:54,330 --> 00:11:55,331
All right.
I'll take you.
294
00:11:55,331 --> 00:11:56,832
I'll take you.
On the tricycle.
295
00:11:56,832 --> 00:11:57,833
All right.
296
00:11:57,833 --> 00:11:59,335
On the tricycle, I'll take you for a
ride.
297
00:11:59,335 --> 00:12:00,836
Whee! Whee!
Ring the bell!
298
00:12:00,836 --> 00:12:01,837
Ring the bell!
Ring the bell!
299
00:12:02,338 --> 00:12:03,839
Toot the horn!
Toot the horn!
300
00:12:03,839 --> 00:12:05,341
Toot the horn!
All right!
301
00:12:05,341 --> 00:12:07,843
No eyes! No eyes!
Toot the horn! Toot the horn!
302
00:12:07,843 --> 00:12:11,347
(blathering)
All right!
All right!
303
00:12:11,347 --> 00:12:13,349
(grunting)
304
00:12:13,349 --> 00:12:16,352
(wailing)
305
00:12:16,352 --> 00:12:18,354
You pushed me!
306
00:12:18,354 --> 00:12:20,356
(crying continuing)
307
00:12:30,466 --> 00:12:31,967
(clucking tongue)
308
00:12:36,472 --> 00:12:37,473
Hi, Rick.
309
00:12:37,473 --> 00:12:39,975
Hello, Fred.
310
00:12:39,975 --> 00:12:42,978
How's Lucy? Does she still think
she's a child?
311
00:12:42,978 --> 00:12:44,980
Yeah.
312
00:12:44,980 --> 00:12:47,483
She's in the bedroom with Ethel.
313
00:12:47,483 --> 00:12:48,984
They're playing jacks.
314
00:12:48,984 --> 00:12:50,986
Ricky, I got to tell you something.
315
00:12:50,986 --> 00:12:52,988
Not now, Fred.
Not now; later, please.
316
00:12:52,988 --> 00:12:54,990
Lucy is faking.
317
00:12:54,990 --> 00:12:56,992
Look, Fred, we'll talk about it
later.
318
00:12:56,992 --> 00:12:59,495
The most important thing right now is
her heal...
319
00:13:03,499 --> 00:13:05,501
What do you mean, she's faking?
320
00:13:05,501 --> 00:13:07,002
I was downstairs in the basement
321
00:13:07,002 --> 00:13:09,004
listening through the furnace pipe
322
00:13:09,004 --> 00:13:11,507
and I heard everything that Lucy and
Ethel said.
323
00:13:11,507 --> 00:13:13,509
Well, why didn't you tell me before?
324
00:13:13,509 --> 00:13:17,012
It took me an hour to get my head out
of the pipe.
325
00:13:19,515 --> 00:13:21,517
Why, that little monkey.
326
00:13:21,517 --> 00:13:24,520
She'll do anything to get in the act,
won't she?
327
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:26,522
Looks like.
328
00:13:26,522 --> 00:13:29,024
Oh, brother, I got a wonderful idea.
329
00:13:29,024 --> 00:13:32,027
I'm going to teach her a lesson she
will never forget.
330
00:13:34,530 --> 00:13:36,532
Are you phoning the doctor?
331
00:13:36,532 --> 00:13:37,533
No.
332
00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:38,534
(chuckles)
333
00:13:38,534 --> 00:13:41,537
I'm phoning an actor friend of mine,
Hal March.
334
00:13:41,537 --> 00:13:44,039
(phone rings)
335
00:13:44,039 --> 00:13:45,040
Hello.
336
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,542
RICKY: Hello, Hal?
337
00:13:46,542 --> 00:13:47,543
Who's this, Ricky?
338
00:13:47,543 --> 00:13:49,044
Yeah, this is Ricky.
339
00:13:49,044 --> 00:13:52,548
Listen, Hal, I got a job for you--
the part of a doctor.
340
00:13:52,548 --> 00:13:54,550
Good. What's the show?
341
00:13:54,550 --> 00:13:57,553
Well, the show is called, uh...
"Getting Even with Lucy"
342
00:13:58,053 --> 00:14:01,056
and it all takes place right here in
my apartment.
343
00:14:01,056 --> 00:14:02,558
What?
344
00:14:02,558 --> 00:14:04,560
Yes, here's the way it goes.
345
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:07,062
Lucy's been pretending that she's
sick
346
00:14:07,062 --> 00:14:09,064
so that I'd feel sorry for her
347
00:14:09,064 --> 00:14:11,066
and give her a part in my new show.
348
00:14:11,066 --> 00:14:13,068
So I want you to come over here
349
00:14:13,068 --> 00:14:15,571
and pretend that you're a doctor,
see?
350
00:14:15,571 --> 00:14:17,573
And while you're giving her a checkup
351
00:14:17,573 --> 00:14:21,076
you will discover that she has a very
unusual condition.
352
00:14:21,076 --> 00:14:25,581
Uh... some rare tropical disease.
353
00:14:25,581 --> 00:14:26,582
(chuckling)
354
00:14:26,582 --> 00:14:27,583
Like what?
355
00:14:27,583 --> 00:14:28,584
I don't know.
356
00:14:28,584 --> 00:14:29,585
Make it up.
357
00:14:29,585 --> 00:14:30,586
(laughing)
358
00:14:30,586 --> 00:14:32,588
Be tough to keep a straight face.
359
00:14:32,588 --> 00:14:34,089
It's an awful dirty trick, Ricky.
360
00:14:34,089 --> 00:14:35,591
Yeah, I know.
361
00:14:36,091 --> 00:14:37,593
Like they say in Mexico
362
00:14:38,093 --> 00:14:41,096
"Mi amigo, alla va el zorrillo."
363
00:14:41,096 --> 00:14:42,598
What's that mean?
364
00:14:42,598 --> 00:14:44,600
I'm a real stinker.
365
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,862
What comes after twosies?
366
00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:57,863
Threesies.
367
00:14:57,863 --> 00:14:59,365
Oh, yeah.
368
00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:03,869
(laughs)
369
00:15:03,869 --> 00:15:06,372
I'd forgotten how much fun this was.
370
00:15:06,372 --> 00:15:07,373
(chuckles)
371
00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:08,874
(knocking at door)
Yes?
372
00:15:08,874 --> 00:15:09,875
RICKY: May I come in?
373
00:15:09,875 --> 00:15:11,877
Oh, yes.
374
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:16,882
How do you feel, little girl?
375
00:15:16,882 --> 00:15:18,384
Oh, she's not at all well.
376
00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:19,885
She has a terrible fever.
377
00:15:23,389 --> 00:15:25,391
I feel fine, mister.
378
00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:26,892
I'm playing jacks.
379
00:15:29,895 --> 00:15:32,398
Oh, Ethel, it's all my fault.
380
00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:34,400
I wish she would snap out of it.
381
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,403
You know, I just decided to star her
in the club.
382
00:15:37,403 --> 00:15:39,905
Ricky, that's wonderful.
383
00:15:39,905 --> 00:15:42,908
Wow, what do you know?!
She got her memory back.
384
00:15:42,908 --> 00:15:46,412
Oh, yes, I know who I am.
385
00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:49,415
I'm Lucy, and you're Ricky.
386
00:15:49,915 --> 00:15:51,417
Ethel!
387
00:15:51,417 --> 00:15:52,918
Welcome home, honey.
388
00:15:55,421 --> 00:15:56,922
Well, when do we start rehearsal?
389
00:15:56,922 --> 00:15:58,424
Now, wait a minute, honey.
390
00:15:58,424 --> 00:15:59,425
Wait a minute.
391
00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:00,926
You know, you've been very sick.
392
00:16:00,926 --> 00:16:02,428
So I asked a doctor to come over.
393
00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:06,432
A doctor?
394
00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:07,433
But I feel fine.
395
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:08,934
Oh, no, no, no, never mind that.
396
00:16:08,934 --> 00:16:09,935
But I feel fine.
397
00:16:10,436 --> 00:16:11,437
Doctor!
398
00:16:11,937 --> 00:16:13,939
Come in, doctor.
399
00:16:13,939 --> 00:16:15,941
This is my wife Lucy, doctor.
400
00:16:15,941 --> 00:16:18,444
How do you do, Mrs. Ricardo?
401
00:16:18,944 --> 00:16:19,945
I feel fine.
402
00:16:19,945 --> 00:16:22,448
Yeah.
Yeah. Well, would you remove this,
please?
403
00:16:22,448 --> 00:16:23,449
I-I won't need that.
404
00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:24,450
Excuse me.
405
00:16:24,450 --> 00:16:26,452
(clearing throat)
406
00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:33,459
(humming)
407
00:16:48,974 --> 00:16:50,476
Well, now...
408
00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:52,478
Oh... oh...
409
00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:55,481
I'm glad you called me in, Mr.
Ricardo.
410
00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:56,982
Pretty bad, huh?
Oh, yes.
411
00:16:56,982 --> 00:16:59,485
Now, if you'll just open your mouth,
Mrs. Ricardo
412
00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:00,486
and stick out your tongue.
413
00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:01,487
Say, "Ah." Ah.
414
00:17:01,487 --> 00:17:02,488
Ah.
Ah.
415
00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:03,489
Ah.
Ah.
416
00:17:03,989 --> 00:17:04,990
Ah.
Ah.
417
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:06,492
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
418
00:17:10,996 --> 00:17:12,498
What is it, doctor?
419
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:15,501
I don't know yet.
420
00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:17,503
Is it very bad, doctor?
421
00:17:17,503 --> 00:17:18,504
We'll have to see.
422
00:17:18,504 --> 00:17:20,005
Well, I feel fine.
423
00:17:20,005 --> 00:17:21,006
Yeah, well, I'm...
424
00:17:21,006 --> 00:17:23,008
Please, please, Mrs.
Ricardo, don't talk.
425
00:17:23,008 --> 00:17:24,009
You may need all your strength.
426
00:17:24,009 --> 00:17:25,511
Just hold that right there.
427
00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:26,512
Now, if you'll just turn around
428
00:17:27,012 --> 00:17:28,514
and give me a little cough, Mrs.
Ricardo.
429
00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:29,515
A little cough?
430
00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:30,516
(coughs)
431
00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:31,517
Louder.
432
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:32,518
(coughs)
433
00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:33,519
Louder.
434
00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:37,022
(coughing repeatedly)
435
00:17:37,022 --> 00:17:38,524
Now, Mrs. Ricardo
436
00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:41,026
if you'll just give me one good
cough.
437
00:17:41,026 --> 00:17:42,528
(coughs loudly)
438
00:17:47,533 --> 00:17:50,035
Hmm, just as I feared.
439
00:17:50,035 --> 00:17:51,036
Oh...
440
00:17:51,036 --> 00:17:52,037
Well, what is it?
441
00:17:52,037 --> 00:17:53,539
You can tell me; I can take it.
442
00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:55,541
Frankly, Mrs. Ricardo
443
00:17:55,541 --> 00:17:58,043
you've contracted a terrible,
terrible attack
444
00:17:58,043 --> 00:18:00,045
of the go-bloots.
445
00:18:02,047 --> 00:18:03,549
Go-bloots?
446
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:06,051
Doctor, what kind of a disease is
that?
447
00:18:06,051 --> 00:18:08,554
Well, we doctors don't know too much
about it
448
00:18:08,554 --> 00:18:11,557
but there's a terrible epidemic of it
lately.
449
00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:14,059
It seems... it seems it came into the
country
450
00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:16,562
on the hind legs of the booshoo bird.
451
00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:23,068
I got the go-bloots from a booshoo
bird?
452
00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:25,571
Ew...
453
00:18:27,573 --> 00:18:30,075
Tell me, doctor, is it very, very
serious?
454
00:18:30,075 --> 00:18:31,076
Well, Mr. Ricardo
455
00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:33,078
I may as well be honest with you.
456
00:18:33,078 --> 00:18:35,581
If it gets worse, we may have to
operate.
457
00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:36,582
Operate?
458
00:18:36,582 --> 00:18:41,086
Yes, we'll have to go in and take out
your zorch.
459
00:18:44,089 --> 00:18:45,591
My zorch?!
460
00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:48,594
There's nothing wrong with my zorch.
461
00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:51,597
Now, now, don't be alarmed, Mrs.
Ricardo.
462
00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:55,100
Some people go on for years without a
zorch.
463
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:57,102
Well, is the operation painful?
464
00:18:57,102 --> 00:19:01,106
No, no, we anesthetize thoroughly for
a zorchectomy.
465
00:19:01,106 --> 00:19:03,609
Well, tell me, doctor, uh...
466
00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:07,112
would you be forced to remove the
entire zorch?
467
00:19:07,112 --> 00:19:13,118
Well, Mr. Ricardo, we may be very
fortunate and save half
468
00:19:13,118 --> 00:19:14,620
and as I always say
469
00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:17,122
half a zorch is better than none.
470
00:19:17,122 --> 00:19:18,624
(others chuckling)
471
00:19:25,130 --> 00:19:28,634
Of course, even if I'm able to save
half
472
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:32,137
you'll never be able to...
trummel again.
473
00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:35,140
I won't?
474
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:37,142
Oh...
475
00:19:37,142 --> 00:19:38,644
What's trummeling?
476
00:19:38,644 --> 00:19:41,647
Well, it's an involuntary internal
process.
477
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:43,148
Oh.
478
00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:46,151
Doctor, is there anything we can do
for her?
479
00:19:46,151 --> 00:19:48,654
All we can do is just wait.
480
00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:51,657
She should reach the crisis very
soon.
481
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:55,661
Just wait and hope that she doesn't
turn green.
482
00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:57,663
Green!
483
00:19:57,663 --> 00:19:58,664
Yes, yes, green.
484
00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:00,666
That's the danger sign.
485
00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:02,167
Well, what happens then?
486
00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:05,671
If you turn green, a half hour
later...
487
00:20:05,671 --> 00:20:07,172
(snaps) ...gone.
488
00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:09,174
Gone?
489
00:20:10,676 --> 00:20:11,677
Gone.
490
00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:16,682
(wailing)
491
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:23,055
Deal me out, boys.
492
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,056
How's the patient?
493
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,058
Did the patient got rid of the
go-bloots?
494
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,560
I'm afraid not, Fred.
495
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,562
She just turned green.
496
00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:31,563
Now, don't be silly.
497
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,066
There's no such thing as go-bloots.
498
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,067
(chuckling)
Thanks.
499
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,568
I know, I know...
500
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:40,072
but there's such a thing as a green
light bulb.
501
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,573
You didn't...
502
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:43,075
Yes, I did.
503
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,077
Oh, you rascal, you.
504
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,078
(laughing)
505
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,580
I sneaked in there when she was
asleep
506
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:51,083
and I put a green light bulb in the
lamp by her bed.
507
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,585
Well, how did you keep Ethel from
finding out?
508
00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:54,586
I sent Florence Nightingale
509
00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:56,588
to the drugstore for some aspirin.
510
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:57,589
Oh, good.
511
00:20:57,589 --> 00:20:59,591
Now, listen, when she comes back
512
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:00,592
you better get her to bed.
513
00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:01,593
Why?
514
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:04,096
Well, she told me that she's starting
515
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,598
to feel some pains in her zorch, too.
516
00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:08,600
Oh, no, no.
517
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,602
LUCY: Ricky! Ricky!
518
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:13,605
Ricky!
Come on, the fun is about to begin.
519
00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:16,108
Ricky!
I'm coming! I'm coming!
520
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,610
Ricky...
What's the matter, honey?
521
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:21,113
My hands, they're green.
522
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,114
Why, they are.
523
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,615
Your face is green, too.
524
00:21:23,615 --> 00:21:26,618
Oh, no! Give me the mirror, give me
the mirror.
525
00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:29,121
Oh! Oh! Oh!
526
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,622
Oh, my face!
527
00:21:30,622 --> 00:21:32,124
And my hair!
528
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:35,127
Oh... Ricky... Oh!
529
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,628
Oh!
530
00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:38,130
You got the go-bloots, too.
531
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:41,633
What are you talking about?
532
00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:42,634
You're both green.
533
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:43,635
We are?
534
00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:44,636
No, Fred.
535
00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:46,638
She doesn't know what she's saying.
536
00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:49,141
Fred, do I look green to you?
537
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,142
No.
538
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:51,643
You don't look green to me, either.
539
00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:53,145
Oh, no.
540
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:57,149
I'm looking at the world through
green-colored eyeballs.
541
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:58,650
ETHEL: Lucy, here's your pill.
542
00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:00,652
Take one of these, and you'll...
543
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:01,653
(screeches)
544
00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:02,654
You're green.
545
00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:05,157
I've been sick.
546
00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:11,663
Oh... you poor little green thing.
547
00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:13,665
Oh, this is it, Ricky.
548
00:22:13,665 --> 00:22:16,168
This is it, I'm going.
549
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:17,169
Good-bye, Ethel.
550
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:18,170
Good-bye.
551
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:19,671
Good-bye, Fred.
552
00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:21,173
So long, chum.
553
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:22,674
Good-bye, Ricky.
554
00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:24,676
Now, wait a minute, honey.
555
00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:25,677
Don't go yet.
556
00:22:25,677 --> 00:22:27,179
Why not?
557
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:31,183
Well, I asked some of the boys in the
band to come over here
558
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:32,684
and play a farewell dirge for you.
559
00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:34,186
What'd he say?
560
00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:36,188
Some of the boys in the band came
over
561
00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:37,189
to play a farewell dirge.
562
00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:38,690
Oh.
563
00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:41,193
Well, I'll try to hang on.
564
00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:46,198
I wouldn't want them to have made the
trip for nothing.
565
00:22:46,698 --> 00:22:49,201
Good girl, good girl.
566
00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:50,702
All right, fellas!
567
00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:51,703
Fellas!
568
00:22:51,703 --> 00:22:53,205
Come in.
569
00:23:07,719 --> 00:23:09,721
All right, fellows.
570
00:23:09,721 --> 00:23:14,359
Now, please, this is the last music
that she will ever hear.
571
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:16,862
So make it sweet.
572
00:23:16,862 --> 00:23:19,865
(strumming quiet intro)
573
00:23:22,868 --> 00:23:26,872
(playing loud Dixieland tune)
574
00:23:37,883 --> 00:23:39,885
(music)
575
00:23:57,903 --> 00:23:59,905
What kind of music was that?
576
00:23:59,905 --> 00:24:02,908
Yeah, watch it, will you, fellas? I'm
dying.
577
00:24:05,410 --> 00:24:07,412
Lucy, I have something to tell you,
honey.
578
00:24:07,913 --> 00:24:08,914
What?
579
00:24:08,914 --> 00:24:11,416
There's no such thing as the
go-bloots.
580
00:24:11,416 --> 00:24:14,920
How can you look me in my green eye
and say that?
581
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,922
Well, honey, you're not green either.
582
00:24:16,922 --> 00:24:17,923
Show her, Fred.
583
00:24:17,923 --> 00:24:19,424
All right.
584
00:24:19,424 --> 00:24:21,426
A green light bulb?
585
00:24:21,426 --> 00:24:22,928
(chuckling): Yeah.
586
00:24:22,928 --> 00:24:24,930
Then you mean I'm not really sick at
all?
587
00:24:24,930 --> 00:24:26,932
No, honey, you're perfectly well.
588
00:24:26,932 --> 00:24:30,435
You were just pretending all the
time, you big bum.
589
00:24:30,435 --> 00:24:31,937
Now, wait a minute.
590
00:24:31,937 --> 00:24:34,940
Remember, you pretended first, you
know.
591
00:24:34,940 --> 00:24:37,442
This makes us igual Pascual.
592
00:24:37,442 --> 00:24:38,944
What does that mean?
593
00:24:38,944 --> 00:24:40,946
That's "even Steven" in Spanish.
594
00:24:40,946 --> 00:24:43,448
(laughing)
595
00:24:43,448 --> 00:24:45,450
Come here.
596
00:24:45,450 --> 00:24:47,953
I guess you're right, honey.
597
00:24:49,454 --> 00:24:51,957
Mmm...
598
00:24:56,461 --> 00:24:58,463
(Lucy chuckles)
599
00:24:58,463 --> 00:25:00,465
(laughing)
600
00:25:00,465 --> 00:25:02,968
Well, when do we start rehearsing?
601
00:25:02,968 --> 00:25:03,969
Rehearsing?
602
00:25:03,969 --> 00:25:05,971
You said I could be the star of the
show.
603
00:25:05,971 --> 00:25:07,973
Now, wait a minute, honey. I only
said...
604
00:25:07,973 --> 00:25:09,474
Ricky, you promised me.
605
00:25:09,474 --> 00:25:11,977
You said I could be the star of the
show.
606
00:25:11,977 --> 00:25:14,479
I didn't force you to say it, you
know.
607
00:25:14,479 --> 00:25:16,982
Now, Ricky, you made me a promise
and...
608
00:25:16,982 --> 00:25:17,983
What's the matter?
609
00:25:17,983 --> 00:25:18,984
Ricky?
610
00:25:18,984 --> 00:25:21,486
Ricky, what's the matter?
611
00:25:21,486 --> 00:25:23,989
Ricky!
612
00:25:23,989 --> 00:25:25,991
Who am I?
613
00:25:27,993 --> 00:25:30,495
What am I?
614
00:25:30,495 --> 00:25:31,997
Where am I?
615
00:25:31,997 --> 00:25:33,498
Oh, I give up, I give up.
616
00:25:33,498 --> 00:25:35,000
You win.
617
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,002
(both laughing)
618
00:25:47,846 --> 00:25:50,732
(theme music playing)
619
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:02,244
ANNOUNCER: The part of Hal March was
played by Hal March.
620
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:42,284
Captioned by Media Access Group at
WGBH access.wgbh.org
621
00:26:42,284 --> 00:26:45,287
ANNOUNCER: I Love Lucy is a Desilu
production.
40584
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