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1
00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:37,103
(knocking)
2
00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:37,970
Come in!
3
00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:41,441
Good morning, Mrs. Ricardo.
4
00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:42,742
Good morning, Miss Lewis.
Come in.
5
00:00:42,742 --> 00:00:43,609
Oh, thank you.
6
00:00:43,609 --> 00:00:45,344
How's everything down in your
apartment?
7
00:00:45,344 --> 00:00:46,646
Oh, fine, fine.
8
00:00:46,646 --> 00:00:48,815
Help yourself to a cup of coffee.
9
00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:49,682
Oh, I'd like some.
10
00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:50,983
It's chilly out.
11
00:00:50,983 --> 00:00:51,851
Yes, it is.
12
00:00:51,851 --> 00:00:55,755
(juicer whirring noisily)
13
00:00:58,357 --> 00:01:00,093
Mrs. Ricardo.
14
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:01,828
Mrs. Ricardo...
15
00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:04,430
(loudly): Mrs. Ricardo, could I
speak...
16
00:01:04,430 --> 00:01:05,731
Oh.
17
00:01:05,731 --> 00:01:07,900
Could I speak to you for a minute?
18
00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:09,635
Oh, surely, what's on your mind?
19
00:01:09,635 --> 00:01:11,370
Well, I, um...
20
00:01:11,370 --> 00:01:14,407
I wanted to ask you a big favor.
21
00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:17,009
It's about a, hmm...
22
00:01:17,009 --> 00:01:18,311
m-a-n.
23
00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:20,913
M-a-n?
24
00:01:20,913 --> 00:01:21,781
Oh, a man.
25
00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:23,950
Ooh, shh!
26
00:01:24,383 --> 00:01:26,986
Well, is it any special m-a-n?
27
00:01:26,986 --> 00:01:28,721
It's mister, um...
28
00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:30,456
Ritter.
29
00:01:30,456 --> 00:01:32,625
Mr. Ritter, the grocery man?
30
00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:36,963
Oh, why, Miss Lewis, I believe you're
blushing.
31
00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:39,999
I know, I know.
32
00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:44,337
Oh, oh, Mrs. Ricardo, I don't mind
telling you
33
00:01:44,337 --> 00:01:49,108
that as far as I'm concerned, Mr.
Ritter is the bee's knees.
34
00:01:49,108 --> 00:01:52,145
(laughing)
35
00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:53,446
What's the matter?
36
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:54,313
Oh, nothing.
37
00:01:54,313 --> 00:01:56,916
It's just that I never expected you
38
00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:58,651
to think things like that.
39
00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:01,687
Ooh, ooh, I do!
40
00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:05,158
Well, you know the old saying
41
00:02:05,158 --> 00:02:07,760
"Just because there's snow on the
roof
42
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,796
doesn't mean there's no fire in the
furnace."
43
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:18,171
Well, well, well, here this big
romance is going on
44
00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:21,641
between you and Mr. Ritter and I
never knew about it.
45
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:22,942
There's somebody else
46
00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:24,677
that doesn't know about it.
47
00:02:24,677 --> 00:02:25,545
Who?
48
00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:26,846
Mr. Ritter.
49
00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:30,316
Mr. Ritter?
50
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:33,352
To Mr. Ritter, I'm just a box of
groceries
51
00:02:33,352 --> 00:02:35,087
twice a week.
52
00:02:35,087 --> 00:02:38,124
Oh... well, why don't you do
something about it?
53
00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:39,859
I'm going to, I'm going to.
54
00:02:39,859 --> 00:02:41,594
I want to invite him
55
00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:44,630
to a little intimate supper for two
in my apartment.
56
00:02:44,630 --> 00:02:45,498
Oh.
57
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:46,799
Oh, but I need your help.
58
00:02:46,799 --> 00:02:49,835
Oh, what do you want me to do, hold
him for you?
59
00:02:50,269 --> 00:02:51,571
Oh, no, no, no!
60
00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:54,173
I want you to give him this.
61
00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:56,776
It's... oh, it's a little dirty.
62
00:02:56,776 --> 00:02:59,812
I've been carrying it around for five
years.
63
00:03:01,113 --> 00:03:03,282
Five years?
64
00:03:03,282 --> 00:03:06,319
I've been carrying the blowtorch for
Mr. Ritter
65
00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:08,487
for five years.
66
00:03:08,487 --> 00:03:11,090
Well, I better give this to him
today.
67
00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:12,391
Is breakfast ready?
68
00:03:12,391 --> 00:03:14,126
Oh, hello, Mrs. Lewis.
69
00:03:14,126 --> 00:03:16,295
Good morning, Mr. Ricardo.
70
00:03:16,295 --> 00:03:17,163
Good morning.
71
00:03:17,163 --> 00:03:19,332
Oh, well...
72
00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:21,500
I guess I'll be running along.
73
00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:22,368
Toodle-oo!
74
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:23,669
Good-bye, dear.
75
00:03:23,669 --> 00:03:24,537
Toodle-oo.
76
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,441
What's on Grandma Lewis's mind?
77
00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:31,043
Listen, don't let Grandma Lewis fool
you.
78
00:03:31,043 --> 00:03:32,345
Yes, sir.
79
00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:34,513
You never know what's in a box by the
wrapper.
80
00:03:34,513 --> 00:03:38,417
Well, really, I didn't even look at
her wrapper.
81
00:03:38,417 --> 00:03:39,285
I didn't mean that.
82
00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:41,020
It's just an expression.
83
00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:44,490
It means just because there isn't any
fire on her roof
84
00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:46,659
that there is no snow in her furnace.
85
00:03:49,695 --> 00:03:50,997
What?
86
00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:53,165
Sounded better when she said it.
87
00:03:53,165 --> 00:03:54,033
Yeah.
88
00:03:57,503 --> 00:04:00,106
Honestly, Ricky, it's the cutest
thing.
89
00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:02,708
Miss Lewis has a crush on Mr. Ritter.
90
00:04:02,708 --> 00:04:03,576
Mr. Ritter?
Yeah.
91
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,311
The grocery man?
Yeah.
92
00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:06,612
And she is so bashful
93
00:04:06,612 --> 00:04:09,649
that she doesn't want to ask him up
to supper,
94
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:12,685
so I'm going to give him the
invitation for her.
95
00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:13,986
Uh-huh. Give it to me, nosy.
96
00:04:13,986 --> 00:04:16,589
Nosy? What are you talking about?
97
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,324
You know what I'm talking about.
98
00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:19,625
How many times have I told you
99
00:04:19,625 --> 00:04:21,794
not to get involved in other people's
lives?
100
00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:23,095
But I'm just trying to help a sweet
old lady.
101
00:04:23,095 --> 00:04:26,565
They might even get married, and then
they'll thank me.
102
00:04:26,565 --> 00:04:29,168
Yeah, she'll thank you; he'll sue
you.
103
00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:33,506
Well, is that the way you feel about
marriage?
104
00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:34,807
Oh, honey, of course not.
105
00:04:34,807 --> 00:04:36,976
I think marriage is wonderful.
106
00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:40,012
Why, I think marriage is the greatest
thing there is
107
00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:41,314
in the whole world.
108
00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:43,049
It's the only way to live.
109
00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:46,952
But if the guy has been clever enough
to escape it this long
110
00:04:46,952 --> 00:04:48,254
why louse him up now?
111
00:04:52,591 --> 00:04:54,327
What?
112
00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:55,628
Honey, I didn't mean...
113
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,797
I suppose you weren't clever enough.
114
00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:01,701
Well... Well, honey, now...
I mean, uh...
115
00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:05,171
Well, I could have been clever
enough,
116
00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:09,508
but you were so cute, I decided to
play dumb.
117
00:05:09,508 --> 00:05:12,111
Well, all right, then, it's all
settled.
118
00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:14,714
I'll give this invitation to Mr.
Ritter.
119
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:16,882
It's all settled; you'll do nothing
of the kind.
120
00:05:16,882 --> 00:05:18,617
What do you mean?
121
00:05:18,617 --> 00:05:20,353
Are you going to give that invitation
back
122
00:05:20,353 --> 00:05:21,220
to Mrs. Lewis or not?
123
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:22,521
No!
124
00:05:22,521 --> 00:05:24,256
Lucy, if you're going to act like a
child,
125
00:05:24,256 --> 00:05:25,991
I'm going to have to treat you like
one.
126
00:05:25,991 --> 00:05:27,293
Meaning what?
127
00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:29,895
Meaning I'll put you over my knees...
128
00:05:29,895 --> 00:05:31,630
You wouldn't dare!
129
00:05:31,630 --> 00:05:32,932
Oh, I wouldn't?
130
00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:34,233
No, you wouldn't!
131
00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:35,968
Ricky, Ricky!
Come here.
132
00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:38,571
Ricky, Ricky, Ricky!
133
00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:40,306
Are you going to do what I say?
134
00:05:40,306 --> 00:05:41,607
Oh, yes!
135
00:05:41,607 --> 00:05:42,475
All right.
136
00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:43,342
Oh, Ricky!
137
00:05:44,643 --> 00:05:46,379
(humming)
138
00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:47,680
(knocking at door)
139
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,415
Oh, come in.
140
00:05:50,716 --> 00:05:52,885
Oh, Mrs. Ricardo!
141
00:05:52,885 --> 00:05:54,186
Hello, Miss Lewis.
142
00:05:54,186 --> 00:05:55,921
I was just ironing the dress I'm
going to wear tonight.
143
00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:58,524
Yeah, well, that's what I came down
to talk to you about.
144
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:01,560
This isn't really the one that I
wanted to wear at all.
145
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,295
I wanted to wear my good one,
146
00:06:03,295 --> 00:06:07,199
but it's in my hope chest and the
lock is rusted shut.
147
00:06:07,199 --> 00:06:10,669
Oh. Well, it really won't make any
difference because I'm...
148
00:06:11,103 --> 00:06:12,405
Oh, of course it doesn't.
149
00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:14,140
Sit down, dear.
150
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:16,742
No, I don't think I care to sit down.
151
00:06:18,043 --> 00:06:20,212
Well, let me show you, here.
152
00:06:20,212 --> 00:06:24,984
Now, look, I thought that we'd eat by
candlelight,
153
00:06:24,984 --> 00:06:27,586
because they say it makes you look
younger.
154
00:06:27,586 --> 00:06:29,755
Oh, yes, that's right.
155
00:06:29,755 --> 00:06:33,225
Maybe I'll look like a girl of 50
again, huh?
156
00:06:33,225 --> 00:06:34,960
Oh, easily.
157
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:37,563
Oh, you're sweet, you're awfully
sweet.
158
00:06:40,599 --> 00:06:41,467
Look.
159
00:06:45,371 --> 00:06:48,841
Elderberry wine-- I made it myself.
160
00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:53,179
It's been fermenting since I was 21
years old.
161
00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:55,781
Twenty-one?
162
00:06:55,781 --> 00:06:58,818
Must have quite a tang by now.
163
00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:01,420
I thought Mr. Ritter and I could have
164
00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:03,589
a couple of belts before dinner.
165
00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:06,625
Well, I don't think you're going to
get
166
00:07:06,625 --> 00:07:08,360
much chance to serve it, Miss Lewis.
167
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,529
You see, I had a long talk with my
husband...
168
00:07:10,529 --> 00:07:11,831
(gasps)
169
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:13,566
Oh, husband!
170
00:07:13,999 --> 00:07:17,036
That's the most beautiful word in the
English language.
171
00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:18,337
(knocking at door)
172
00:07:18,337 --> 00:07:19,205
MAN: Miss Lewis!
173
00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:21,807
Don't forget... the invitation!
174
00:07:21,807 --> 00:07:25,277
I wanted to talk to you about that...
175
00:07:25,277 --> 00:07:27,012
Pretty late today, and I'm awful
sorry,
176
00:07:27,012 --> 00:07:28,747
but I want to tell you something.
177
00:07:28,747 --> 00:07:30,483
The traffic has been something awful.
178
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:33,519
Oh, Mrs. Ricardo, howdy, howdy!
179
00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:36,121
Awful cold out-- it's awful cold,
really.
180
00:07:36,121 --> 00:07:37,423
How are you?
181
00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:38,290
Fine.
182
00:07:38,290 --> 00:07:39,592
How are you?
183
00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:43,496
Me, I can't kick-- rheumatism.
184
00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:45,231
Get it?
185
00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:47,399
I don't know how I think of them.
186
00:07:47,399 --> 00:07:49,568
Just like that, you know, comical.
187
00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:51,303
Where is, uh, where is Miss Lewis?
188
00:07:51,303 --> 00:07:53,906
Well, she ought to be back in a
minute.
189
00:07:53,906 --> 00:07:54,773
Well, she can, uh...
190
00:07:54,773 --> 00:07:56,942
She can pay me for these when I come
the next time.
191
00:07:56,942 --> 00:07:59,111
Okay.
192
00:07:59,111 --> 00:08:00,846
Mr. Ritter?
193
00:08:00,846 --> 00:08:01,714
Huh?
194
00:08:01,714 --> 00:08:03,015
Come here.
195
00:08:06,051 --> 00:08:09,088
I have a secret to tell you.
196
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:12,124
Uh...
197
00:08:13,425 --> 00:08:16,896
Someone around here is very fond of
you.
198
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,197
No!
199
00:08:18,197 --> 00:08:20,799
Yes, a certain someone thinks
200
00:08:20,799 --> 00:08:23,402
that you're the bee's knees.
201
00:08:23,402 --> 00:08:26,005
Well, hot diggity!
202
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:28,607
You want to know something, Mrs.
Ricardo?
203
00:08:28,607 --> 00:08:29,475
What?
204
00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:32,077
I like you, too.
205
00:08:32,077 --> 00:08:33,379
What?
206
00:08:33,379 --> 00:08:35,548
You're just my type, Red.
207
00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:38,150
Oh, no, no, you don't understand.
208
00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:39,451
Here, read this.
This will explain.
209
00:08:39,885 --> 00:08:43,789
"Can you make it for dinner tonight,
just the two of us?"
210
00:08:43,789 --> 00:08:44,657
Uh-oh.
211
00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:45,958
"Will be waiting for you in my
apartment."
212
00:08:45,958 --> 00:08:46,825
Can I make it?
213
00:08:47,259 --> 00:08:49,428
Say, speed's my middle name, Lucy.
214
00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:50,729
Oh, now, now, stay away!
215
00:08:50,729 --> 00:08:52,464
I didn't write that note.
Miss Lewis did.
216
00:08:52,464 --> 00:08:54,199
Miss Lewis? Aw, who are you joshing?
217
00:08:54,199 --> 00:08:56,368
No, really, look at the signature.
218
00:08:56,368 --> 00:08:58,537
It says...
"Your secret lover."
219
00:08:58,537 --> 00:08:59,838
Secret lover?
220
00:08:59,838 --> 00:09:02,875
You don't have to keep anything
secret from me, lover.
221
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,610
No! Miss Lewis!
Miss Lewis!
222
00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:07,212
Now, listen, you're not fooling
anybody.
223
00:09:07,212 --> 00:09:08,948
She's not here, you said so yourself.
224
00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:10,249
Don't try to fight this, Lucy.
225
00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:11,550
It's bigger than both of us.
226
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:12,851
It is not!
227
00:09:12,851 --> 00:09:15,888
Miss Lewis, Miss Lewis, where are
you?
228
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:16,755
Miss Lewis!
229
00:09:16,755 --> 00:09:18,924
See, alone. I tell you it's fate,
really.
230
00:09:18,924 --> 00:09:20,225
But she was here, honest.
231
00:09:20,225 --> 00:09:21,527
Sure, she was, sure.
232
00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:24,129
You know you're even cuter when you
get shy like this.
233
00:09:24,129 --> 00:09:24,997
Mr. Ritter!
234
00:09:24,997 --> 00:09:27,166
Don't worry about anything--
235
00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:28,901
your apartment, dinner, tonight,
sure.
236
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:31,503
I'm afraid I can't make it till about
half past 7:00.
237
00:09:31,503 --> 00:09:32,805
Mr. Ritter!
238
00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:37,142
Oh, honey, I got to keep the store
open till 7:00, honest.
239
00:09:37,142 --> 00:09:38,010
Mr. Ritter!
240
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,649
(doorbell buzzing)
241
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,987
Oh, Miss Lewis, where have you been?
242
00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:50,155
I've been calling you for hours.
243
00:09:50,155 --> 00:09:52,758
Oh, Mrs. Ricardo, I just lost control
of myself.
244
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:55,361
When I found out that Mr. Ritter
thought
245
00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:57,096
you were inviting him to dinner,
246
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:59,698
I got hysterical and started running.
247
00:09:59,698 --> 00:10:01,867
Ran eight laps around the park.
248
00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:05,337
Passed lots of horses.
249
00:10:06,205 --> 00:10:07,940
Oh...
250
00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:11,410
I'm pooped.
251
00:10:12,711 --> 00:10:15,748
Well, you certainly got me in a fine
mess.
252
00:10:15,748 --> 00:10:18,350
Your secret lover is coming here for
dinner at 7:30
253
00:10:18,350 --> 00:10:20,953
and my husband is due home at the
same time.
254
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:23,122
Oh... well, why don't you call him
255
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,290
and tell him your husband's going to
be here?
256
00:10:25,290 --> 00:10:27,026
I did-- he was delighted.
257
00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:29,194
He wants to tell Ricky that we love
each other
258
00:10:29,194 --> 00:10:31,363
and that he should start getting a
divorce right away.
259
00:10:31,363 --> 00:10:35,701
Oh... oh, I wish there was some way I
could help.
260
00:10:35,701 --> 00:10:37,002
There is.
261
00:10:37,002 --> 00:10:38,303
What?
262
00:10:38,303 --> 00:10:39,605
You stay on those stairs tonight
263
00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:41,774
and don't let Mr. Ritter get into
this apartment.
264
00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:43,509
You get him into your apartment.
265
00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:44,376
How?
266
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,545
I don't know how you're going to do
it, but you do it.
267
00:10:46,545 --> 00:10:48,714
Mrs. Ricardo?
268
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:50,015
What?
269
00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:53,919
Would you teach me how to attract the
opposite...
270
00:10:53,919 --> 00:10:55,654
sex?
271
00:10:56,955 --> 00:10:58,257
Well, all right.
272
00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:00,859
Stand up, let's have a look at you.
273
00:11:01,727 --> 00:11:02,594
(groans)
274
00:11:06,498 --> 00:11:07,800
Well...
275
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,968
um, let's see you walk back and forth
276
00:11:09,968 --> 00:11:11,270
and swing your hips.
277
00:11:11,270 --> 00:11:13,005
Swing my hips?
278
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,306
Yes.
279
00:11:22,114 --> 00:11:23,415
Oh, no, no, no, no.
280
00:11:23,415 --> 00:11:24,717
All that will get you
281
00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:28,187
is a Boy Scout to help you across the
street.
282
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:29,922
Look, now, watch me.
283
00:11:29,922 --> 00:11:31,657
You just shift them gently.
284
00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:33,826
Shift, shift, shift
285
00:11:33,826 --> 00:11:35,561
shift, shift...
286
00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:36,428
Shift them?
287
00:11:36,428 --> 00:11:38,597
That's easy for you.
288
00:11:38,597 --> 00:11:41,200
I've got a rusty transmission.
289
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,935
(sighs)
290
00:11:42,935 --> 00:11:44,236
I'm sorry.
291
00:11:44,236 --> 00:11:46,839
Maybe we could try a "come hither"
look.
292
00:11:52,911 --> 00:11:53,779
Yeah.
293
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,249
Miss Lewis, what's the matter?
294
00:11:57,249 --> 00:11:58,117
Are you all right?
295
00:11:58,550 --> 00:11:59,418
What's the matter?
296
00:11:59,418 --> 00:12:01,153
There's nothing the matter.
297
00:12:01,153 --> 00:12:03,322
That's my "come hither" look.
298
00:12:03,322 --> 00:12:04,189
Oh.
299
00:12:04,189 --> 00:12:06,792
Oh, no, dear, try something like
this.
300
00:12:09,828 --> 00:12:11,997
Oh, dear.
301
00:12:12,431 --> 00:12:13,298
(phone rings)
302
00:12:13,298 --> 00:12:14,600
Oh, excuse me.
303
00:12:15,033 --> 00:12:15,901
Hello.
304
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:16,769
Yes, dear?
305
00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:18,070
It's Ricky.
306
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:21,106
Honey, I won't be home tonight for
dinner.
307
00:12:21,106 --> 00:12:22,407
LUCY: Oh?
308
00:12:22,407 --> 00:12:24,143
No, I have to stay in town.
309
00:12:24,576 --> 00:12:27,613
Jerry and I are going to talk some
business.
310
00:12:27,613 --> 00:12:29,782
Oh, well, all right, dear.
311
00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:31,950
Don't be too lonesome.
312
00:12:31,950 --> 00:12:33,685
Oh, no, no, I won't.
313
00:12:33,685 --> 00:12:35,420
Good-bye.
314
00:12:35,420 --> 00:12:37,589
Ricky isn't coming home to dinner.
315
00:12:37,589 --> 00:12:39,324
You know, I just think
316
00:12:39,324 --> 00:12:42,361
I might keep that date with Mr.
Ritter tonight.
317
00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:44,530
That's not fair.
318
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:45,831
He's mine.
319
00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:47,566
Oh, you don't understand, dear.
320
00:12:47,566 --> 00:12:49,301
I'm going to get him up here
321
00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:51,470
and disappoint him so completely
322
00:12:51,470 --> 00:12:54,506
that he wouldn't have me on a silver
platter.
323
00:12:54,506 --> 00:12:56,675
Then the road will be nice and clear
for you.
324
00:12:56,675 --> 00:12:58,410
Oh, oh, fine, fine.
325
00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:01,013
Let's see now, how can I disappoint
Mr. Ritter?
326
00:13:01,013 --> 00:13:02,748
What do you know about him?
327
00:13:02,748 --> 00:13:07,519
Well, we had a long conversation once
over the pickle barrel.
328
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:10,122
That sort of raised my hopes.
329
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:12,291
Um...
330
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:14,459
he can't stand children.
331
00:13:14,459 --> 00:13:17,062
And he likes a tidy appearance,
332
00:13:17,062 --> 00:13:20,532
and he demands immaculate
housekeeping.
333
00:13:20,532 --> 00:13:22,267
He likes good cooking...
334
00:13:22,267 --> 00:13:24,436
Hold it, hold it.
335
00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:27,472
I think I can change Mr. Ritter's
heartthrob
336
00:13:27,472 --> 00:13:29,208
to heartburn in one sitting.
337
00:13:40,052 --> 00:13:44,389
(doorbell buzzing)
338
00:13:56,101 --> 00:13:58,704
Well, Mr. Ritter!
339
00:13:58,704 --> 00:14:00,873
How are you tonight?
340
00:14:00,873 --> 00:14:03,041
You ask that at a time like this?
341
00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:07,379
Oh, for me?
342
00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:09,114
Uh-huh, the whole bag.
343
00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:09,982
Oh, thank you.
344
00:14:09,982 --> 00:14:11,717
Oh, gumdrops!
345
00:14:11,717 --> 00:14:13,018
Thank you.
346
00:14:13,452 --> 00:14:14,753
Can I take your coat off?
347
00:14:14,753 --> 00:14:16,488
Please.
348
00:14:16,488 --> 00:14:18,657
There we are.
349
00:14:18,657 --> 00:14:20,392
Hat?
350
00:14:20,392 --> 00:14:21,260
Oh.
351
00:14:22,561 --> 00:14:23,428
Just a minute.
352
00:14:23,428 --> 00:14:24,730
What's that?
353
00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:25,597
Oh!
354
00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:47,719
Well, sit down; dinner's almost
ready.
355
00:14:47,719 --> 00:14:49,021
Yeah, that's right.
356
00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:52,057
I'm very anxious for you to sample my
cooking.
357
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,792
So am I.
358
00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:56,828
Oh! Oh! Pardon me.
359
00:14:56,828 --> 00:14:59,865
Oh, I'm so sorry.
360
00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:01,600
There we are.
361
00:15:06,805 --> 00:15:09,841
Well, I hope you like tomato juice.
362
00:15:09,841 --> 00:15:11,143
Oh, I do, I like it very much.
363
00:15:11,143 --> 00:15:12,444
Yeah, this, huh?
Yeah.
364
00:15:12,444 --> 00:15:15,480
This is our special every Thursday
down at my store.
365
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:16,348
Oh, is that so?
366
00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:17,649
Yeah, yes.
367
00:15:17,649 --> 00:15:19,818
Well, the same brand it is, yes,
sure.
368
00:15:19,818 --> 00:15:20,686
Is that so?
369
00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:22,854
Well, here's...
uh, what is it now?
370
00:15:22,854 --> 00:15:24,156
Here's mud in your eye.
Oh!
371
00:15:24,156 --> 00:15:25,891
Of course, it ain't mud;
372
00:15:25,891 --> 00:15:27,626
it's really tomato juice.
373
00:15:27,626 --> 00:15:30,662
Yeah. You know, I put the tiniest
dash of Tabasco in this.
374
00:15:30,662 --> 00:15:31,530
Inside?
375
00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:32,831
Yeah.
376
00:15:32,831 --> 00:15:35,434
Yes, it helps, you know, everything,
you know...
377
00:15:39,338 --> 00:15:40,639
Just right, huh?
378
00:15:40,639 --> 00:15:41,940
Oh, fine...
379
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:43,675
(gasps)
380
00:15:43,675 --> 00:15:45,410
(coughing)
381
00:15:45,410 --> 00:15:47,579
Want some more?
382
00:15:47,579 --> 00:15:50,182
No, something to chew on, like a
piece of bread.
383
00:15:50,182 --> 00:15:51,917
Oh, I have some nice, fluffy
biscuits.
384
00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:53,218
Oh, I'm crazy about...
385
00:15:53,218 --> 00:15:54,953
Hurry, will you, hurry!
386
00:15:59,725 --> 00:16:01,026
Oh!
387
00:16:09,701 --> 00:16:12,304
Well, a little dirt never hurt
anybody.
388
00:16:13,605 --> 00:16:16,641
No, really, I don't think I care for
biscuits.
389
00:16:16,641 --> 00:16:17,509
Oh, no?
390
00:16:17,509 --> 00:16:18,810
No.
391
00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:20,112
Well, I hope you like soup.
392
00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:21,413
That's what's coming up next.
393
00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:22,714
Soup, yes.
Soothing soup.
394
00:16:22,714 --> 00:16:23,582
Yeah, hot.
395
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:28,353
There you are.
396
00:16:28,353 --> 00:16:29,654
Mmm...
397
00:16:29,654 --> 00:16:31,390
(cans clank)
398
00:16:34,426 --> 00:16:35,727
Mine's too hot.
399
00:16:35,727 --> 00:16:37,896
It's always too hot for me.
400
00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:39,631
(slurping)
401
00:16:39,631 --> 00:16:42,234
(continues slurping)
402
00:17:19,271 --> 00:17:20,405
Want some more?
403
00:17:20,405 --> 00:17:23,008
I'm not really much of a soup eater.
404
00:17:23,008 --> 00:17:23,875
You're not?
405
00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:25,177
Why not?
406
00:17:25,177 --> 00:17:26,478
A throat condition.
407
00:17:26,478 --> 00:17:27,345
Oh.
408
00:17:27,779 --> 00:17:30,382
You know, you have a very finicky
appetite.
409
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:33,418
No, I'm pretty rugged as a rule,
pretty rugged.
410
00:17:33,418 --> 00:17:36,021
You like roast turkey with sage
dressing?
411
00:17:36,021 --> 00:17:38,623
I love it, yes-- dark meat, you know.
412
00:17:38,623 --> 00:17:39,925
Nice and juicy, huh?
413
00:17:39,925 --> 00:17:42,094
Well, we're not having that tonight.
414
00:17:44,696 --> 00:17:46,865
How about pot roast and...
415
00:17:46,865 --> 00:17:47,732
Oh, with the pancake, huh?
416
00:17:47,732 --> 00:17:49,901
Potato pancakes, apple sauce.
417
00:17:49,901 --> 00:17:51,203
Oh, my. I had a banquet once...
418
00:17:51,636 --> 00:17:53,805
We're not having that tonight either.
419
00:17:53,805 --> 00:17:55,107
We're having steak.
420
00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:55,974
Steak?
Yeah.
421
00:17:55,974 --> 00:17:57,275
Oh, steak.
Yeah.
422
00:17:57,275 --> 00:17:59,010
Oh, haven't had it for months.
423
00:17:59,444 --> 00:18:02,481
We have them down at my store, but I
can't afford to buy them.
424
00:18:10,722 --> 00:18:13,758
Well, here we are, nice, sizzling
steak.
425
00:18:36,314 --> 00:18:37,616
Hang on to this, will you?
426
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:38,917
Oh, I don't think...
427
00:18:38,917 --> 00:18:41,086
Oh, go ahead, I won't hurt you.
428
00:18:41,086 --> 00:18:41,953
Come on, hang on.
429
00:18:41,953 --> 00:18:43,255
Attaboy.
430
00:18:44,556 --> 00:18:45,857
There we are.
431
00:18:45,857 --> 00:18:47,159
Oop!
432
00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:49,761
Sorry, I lose more friends that way.
433
00:18:51,496 --> 00:18:53,231
Well, here we are.
434
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:05,810
(sneezes)
435
00:19:05,810 --> 00:19:07,112
Gesundheit.
436
00:19:10,148 --> 00:19:11,449
Lucy?
437
00:19:11,449 --> 00:19:12,751
Yeah?
You know something?
438
00:19:12,751 --> 00:19:14,052
What?
439
00:19:14,052 --> 00:19:15,353
I'm not hungry.
440
00:19:15,353 --> 00:19:16,221
You're not?
441
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:17,522
I'm not hungry.
442
00:19:17,522 --> 00:19:19,691
You don't like my cooking.
No...
443
00:19:19,691 --> 00:19:21,860
You're disappointed in me.
444
00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:24,896
You're going away and you're never
coming back.
445
00:19:24,896 --> 00:19:26,631
I am not!
446
00:19:26,631 --> 00:19:28,800
Lucy, I'll never leave you, never.
447
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:29,668
You won't?
448
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,836
What's food compared to the
fundamental principles?
449
00:19:31,836 --> 00:19:33,572
We love each other; that's all that
counts.
450
00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:36,608
Now, I'm going to do all the cooking
until you learn how.
451
00:19:37,042 --> 00:19:38,343
The important thing is...
452
00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:40,946
Quiet, you're waking the children.
453
00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:42,681
Don't stop me. The important thing
is...
454
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:43,548
The what?
455
00:19:43,548 --> 00:19:44,416
The children.
456
00:19:44,849 --> 00:19:46,151
You haven't any children.
457
00:19:46,151 --> 00:19:47,452
Oh, yes, I have.
458
00:19:47,452 --> 00:19:49,187
You never told me.
I've never seen one...
459
00:19:49,187 --> 00:19:50,488
I keep them hidden.
460
00:19:50,488 --> 00:19:52,657
They don't like kids in this
apartment house.
461
00:19:53,091 --> 00:19:55,260
You mean to tell me that you're the
mother
462
00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:56,561
of these lollipop-eating,
463
00:19:56,561 --> 00:19:58,296
sticky-fingered, candy-stealing...
464
00:19:58,730 --> 00:20:00,031
That's right, and if you're not going
to eat your dinner,
465
00:20:00,031 --> 00:20:01,333
I'm going to have to give it to the
kids.
466
00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:02,634
I can't eat that.
467
00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:05,237
All right, children, come and get it!
468
00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:07,839
Come and get it!
469
00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:21,286
Oh, oh, oh, Mr. Ricardo?
470
00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:22,587
Yes, Miss Lewis?
471
00:20:22,587 --> 00:20:26,057
Mr. Ricardo, could I see you for a
minute?
472
00:20:26,057 --> 00:20:28,660
Why, sure, Miss Lewis.
473
00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:30,829
Yes, yes, it's, um...
474
00:20:30,829 --> 00:20:33,865
Oh, it's a nice evening, isn't it?
475
00:20:33,865 --> 00:20:37,769
Yes, lovely, if you like it below
zero.
476
00:20:37,769 --> 00:20:39,070
Oh, below zero.
477
00:20:39,070 --> 00:20:41,239
Well, um...
478
00:20:41,239 --> 00:20:42,974
uh... is...
479
00:20:42,974 --> 00:20:46,444
Miss Lewis, if there's nothing else
on your mind,
480
00:20:46,444 --> 00:20:48,179
I'm anxious to get upstairs.
481
00:20:48,613 --> 00:20:49,481
Oh...
482
00:21:02,927 --> 00:21:05,964
Miss Lewis, are you having an attack?
483
00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:11,603
Razz-a-matazz.
484
00:21:14,205 --> 00:21:15,940
Razz-a... razz-a-matazz...
485
00:21:17,676 --> 00:21:18,977
I'll see you later.
486
00:21:18,977 --> 00:21:20,278
No, no, no!
487
00:21:20,278 --> 00:21:23,315
You can't go up there until Mr.
Ritter leaves.
488
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:25,050
What?!
489
00:21:25,050 --> 00:21:26,785
Did Lucy give him that invitation?
490
00:21:28,086 --> 00:21:29,387
Oh...
491
00:21:29,387 --> 00:21:32,424
Yes, poor dear, and he thought it was
from her,
492
00:21:32,424 --> 00:21:34,592
and now he wants to marry her.
493
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:36,761
He wants to...
494
00:21:43,268 --> 00:21:44,569
She's... she's...
495
00:21:44,569 --> 00:21:47,605
she's upstairs now trying to
discourage him.
496
00:21:47,605 --> 00:21:48,473
She is?
497
00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:51,076
Oh, this is great, this is wonderful.
498
00:21:51,076 --> 00:21:53,244
I'll see you later, good-bye.
499
00:21:53,244 --> 00:21:54,546
Oh, Mr. Ricardo...
500
00:21:54,546 --> 00:21:56,715
Yes, yes, dear?
501
00:21:56,715 --> 00:21:59,751
You're the first man I ever flirted
with,
502
00:21:59,751 --> 00:22:02,354
and do you want to know something?
503
00:22:02,354 --> 00:22:03,221
What?
504
00:22:03,221 --> 00:22:04,522
I like it.
505
00:22:05,824 --> 00:22:07,992
Well, I think you're very cute.
506
00:22:07,992 --> 00:22:09,294
I'll see you later.
507
00:22:09,294 --> 00:22:11,896
(Ricky laughing)
508
00:22:12,764 --> 00:22:14,499
Twenty-two...
509
00:22:14,499 --> 00:22:16,234
twenty-three...
510
00:22:16,234 --> 00:22:17,535
twenty-four...
511
00:22:24,909 --> 00:22:26,211
Twenty-four and a half.
512
00:22:26,211 --> 00:22:29,681
You know, Lucy, that's an awful lot
of children.
513
00:22:29,681 --> 00:22:31,416
Six of them are missing.
514
00:22:31,416 --> 00:22:32,283
Missing?
515
00:22:32,283 --> 00:22:33,151
Yeah. Well, now you know.
516
00:22:33,151 --> 00:22:34,886
Go ahead and leave me.
517
00:22:34,886 --> 00:22:36,187
I wouldn't blame you.
518
00:22:36,187 --> 00:22:37,922
Lucy, you know that I hate kids.
519
00:22:38,356 --> 00:22:39,224
Yeah?
520
00:22:39,224 --> 00:22:40,959
I can't stand bad housekeeping...
Yeah.
521
00:22:41,393 --> 00:22:42,260
and sloppy food.
Yeah.
522
00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:44,429
But when a guy has got a chickadee
like you
523
00:22:44,863 --> 00:22:46,164
nothing else really matters.
524
00:22:46,164 --> 00:22:47,465
Come to me, baby!
525
00:22:47,465 --> 00:22:49,200
No, now, Mr. Ritter!
526
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:50,502
Hi, Lucy.
527
00:22:54,406 --> 00:22:56,141
Hello, Mr. Ritter.
528
00:23:01,346 --> 00:23:02,647
What's new?
529
00:23:04,382 --> 00:23:06,551
What's new?!
530
00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:09,587
Mr. Ricardo, there's something you
ought to know.
531
00:23:09,587 --> 00:23:11,756
Your wife and I love each other.
532
00:23:11,756 --> 00:23:12,624
No!
533
00:23:12,624 --> 00:23:14,793
No, Ricky, let me explain.
534
00:23:14,793 --> 00:23:16,528
Well, honey, there's nothing to
explain.
535
00:23:16,528 --> 00:23:19,564
I've been expecting this for some
time.
536
00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:21,299
You been "specting" what?
537
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:25,203
Well, I can't possibly hope to keep
538
00:23:25,203 --> 00:23:27,372
such a glorious hunk of stuff like
you
539
00:23:27,372 --> 00:23:29,107
all to myself forever.
540
00:23:29,107 --> 00:23:29,974
Of course not.
541
00:23:29,974 --> 00:23:31,276
I pass her on to you.
542
00:23:31,276 --> 00:23:33,878
And you pass her into waiting hands.
543
00:23:33,878 --> 00:23:34,746
Wait a minute.
544
00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:37,348
Can the football say something?
545
00:23:37,348 --> 00:23:40,819
Mr. Ritter, please be good to her.
546
00:23:40,819 --> 00:23:42,987
She'll make a wonderful wife.
547
00:23:42,987 --> 00:23:44,722
Ricardo, you're a good scout.
548
00:23:44,722 --> 00:23:48,193
I'm going to send you a whole case of
lima beans.
549
00:23:48,193 --> 00:23:50,361
And don't you worry about Lucy,
550
00:23:50,361 --> 00:23:53,398
and don't you worry about those
children.
551
00:23:53,398 --> 00:23:55,133
What children?
552
00:23:55,133 --> 00:23:59,904
Say, you really hid those kids,
didn't you?
553
00:24:01,639 --> 00:24:03,374
Now, Ricky, listen...
554
00:24:03,374 --> 00:24:05,977
Honey, please, please don't say
another word.
555
00:24:05,977 --> 00:24:09,013
Just stand there like you are.
556
00:24:09,013 --> 00:24:12,484
I want to remember you like this
forever.
557
00:24:13,351 --> 00:24:15,954
Good-bye-- I'll pack my things.
558
00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:17,255
Ricky!
559
00:24:17,255 --> 00:24:18,556
Don't worry about him, don't-- you
got me.
560
00:24:18,990 --> 00:24:20,291
Oh, wait a minute, leave me alone!
561
00:24:20,291 --> 00:24:22,894
At last, at last you're altogether
mine.
562
00:24:22,894 --> 00:24:24,195
Mr. Ritter!
563
00:24:29,834 --> 00:24:30,702
What's the matter?
564
00:24:30,702 --> 00:24:32,437
What's the matter with you?
565
00:24:32,437 --> 00:24:33,738
Lover boy!
566
00:24:33,738 --> 00:24:34,606
(screams)
567
00:25:17,115 --> 00:25:21,019
Captioned by Media Access Group at
WGBH access.wgbh.org
568
00:25:33,598 --> 00:25:35,333
We'd like to give our special thanks
569
00:25:35,333 --> 00:25:38,803
to Mr. Edward Everett Horton for
appearing with us tonight.
570
00:25:38,803 --> 00:25:41,839
The part of Miss Lewis was played by
Bea Benaderet.
571
00:26:13,938 --> 00:26:16,541
I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.
37647
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