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1
00:00:55,846 --> 00:00:57,581
Mm... that was good, Lucy.
2
00:00:57,581 --> 00:00:58,449
Want some more?
3
00:00:58,449 --> 00:01:00,618
I have eight or nine pieces left in
the kitchen.
4
00:01:01,052 --> 00:01:02,353
No, three's my limit.
5
00:01:02,353 --> 00:01:03,654
Ha!
6
00:01:05,823 --> 00:01:08,426
Well, I guess I'd better go put on a
new face.
7
00:01:08,426 --> 00:01:09,727
Yeah, me too.
8
00:01:09,727 --> 00:01:12,763
Say, did you see that little
polka-dot dress at Orbach's?
9
00:01:12,763 --> 00:01:14,498
The one with the white, ruffled
collar?
10
00:01:14,498 --> 00:01:16,667
LUCY: Wasn't that the cutest thing
11
00:01:16,667 --> 00:01:17,968
you've ever seen?
12
00:01:17,968 --> 00:01:19,703
What's that for?
13
00:01:19,703 --> 00:01:22,306
Well, I'm always hoping that this
time will be the charm.
14
00:01:22,740 --> 00:01:23,607
What do you mean?
15
00:01:23,607 --> 00:01:25,776
Ethel keeps going out to put on a new
face
16
00:01:25,776 --> 00:01:27,945
but she always comes back with the
old one.
17
00:01:31,415 --> 00:01:32,716
Well, you know how women are.
18
00:01:32,716 --> 00:01:34,018
Yeah.
19
00:01:34,018 --> 00:01:35,319
If Lucy doesn't have any lipstick on,
20
00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:36,187
she thinks she's naked.
21
00:01:36,187 --> 00:01:37,488
"Niked"?
22
00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:39,657
Yeah, you know-- not wearing a thing.
23
00:01:39,657 --> 00:01:41,826
A thin what?
24
00:01:43,127 --> 00:01:45,729
Clothes, clothes, clothes.
25
00:01:45,729 --> 00:01:49,633
"Niked"-- not wearing no thin
clothes.
26
00:01:49,633 --> 00:01:51,368
Nah, me either.
27
00:01:51,368 --> 00:01:53,971
Uh-huh, same old one.
28
00:01:55,706 --> 00:01:57,875
Same old one here, too.
29
00:01:57,875 --> 00:01:59,610
What are they talking about?
30
00:01:59,610 --> 00:02:01,779
I don't know, but whatever it is,
31
00:02:01,779 --> 00:02:03,514
ours aren't young enough.
32
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,683
We were just teasing you, honey,
because you said
33
00:02:06,117 --> 00:02:08,719
you were going to go in and put on a
new face, and you didn't.
34
00:02:08,719 --> 00:02:10,888
Oh, Ethel, did you ever wish
35
00:02:10,888 --> 00:02:14,358
there was something else to marry
besides men?
36
00:02:14,358 --> 00:02:15,659
Often.
37
00:02:15,659 --> 00:02:17,394
Well, what are we gonna do tonight
38
00:02:17,394 --> 00:02:19,997
besides sit around and sneer at each
other?
39
00:02:19,997 --> 00:02:22,166
Shall I look in the paper?
40
00:02:22,166 --> 00:02:23,033
Yeah.
41
00:02:23,033 --> 00:02:24,335
I better call Jerry.
42
00:02:24,335 --> 00:02:26,070
Wouldn't it be quicker to look in the
paper?
43
00:02:26,070 --> 00:02:28,239
This is for something else.
44
00:02:28,239 --> 00:02:29,106
Oh.
45
00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:32,576
I'm having some trouble finding some
apache dancers for my show.
46
00:02:32,576 --> 00:02:34,311
Apache dancers?
47
00:02:34,311 --> 00:02:35,179
Yeah.
48
00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:38,215
(hooting)
49
00:02:39,517 --> 00:02:40,384
Lucy.
50
00:02:40,818 --> 00:02:41,685
Lucy!
51
00:02:41,685 --> 00:02:42,553
What?
52
00:02:42,553 --> 00:02:43,854
Not that kind, honey.
53
00:02:43,854 --> 00:02:45,589
It's for the Parisian number.
Oh.
54
00:02:45,589 --> 00:02:46,891
The French kind.
55
00:02:46,891 --> 00:02:48,192
A French Indian?
56
00:02:48,192 --> 00:02:49,493
Oui, oui.
57
00:02:49,493 --> 00:02:50,361
Oui, oui
58
00:02:50,361 --> 00:02:51,228
Oui, oui
59
00:02:51,228 --> 00:02:52,530
Oui, oui...
60
00:02:52,530 --> 00:02:53,397
No, no, Lucy.
61
00:02:53,397 --> 00:02:55,132
You know, where the tough Frenchman
62
00:02:55,132 --> 00:02:57,735
grabs the girl by the hair and throws
her over his shoulder
63
00:02:57,735 --> 00:02:59,904
and slams her down on the floor and
steps on her.
64
00:02:59,904 --> 00:03:01,639
Oh!
65
00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:02,506
Oh.
66
00:03:02,940 --> 00:03:05,109
(humming tango)
67
00:03:07,711 --> 00:03:10,748
(squawking melodramatically)
68
00:03:15,085 --> 00:03:16,820
(gasping)
69
00:03:16,820 --> 00:03:17,688
Wait.
70
00:03:17,688 --> 00:03:18,989
Oh!
71
00:03:18,989 --> 00:03:22,459
Ah-ah-ahhhh!
72
00:03:22,459 --> 00:03:24,628
(gasping and yelling)
73
00:03:24,628 --> 00:03:25,930
Lucy.
74
00:03:26,363 --> 00:03:27,665
Lucy.
75
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,400
Lucy!
76
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:30,267
What?
77
00:03:30,267 --> 00:03:32,002
I got your message.
78
00:03:32,870 --> 00:03:35,039
You want to be in the show, right?
79
00:03:35,039 --> 00:03:36,340
Right.
80
00:03:36,340 --> 00:03:38,509
And you think you can do the dance,
right?
81
00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:39,810
Right.
82
00:03:39,810 --> 00:03:41,979
Well, honey, you don't have to go
into all this routines.
83
00:03:41,979 --> 00:03:43,280
I don't?
84
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:44,148
No, honey.
85
00:03:44,148 --> 00:03:46,750
All you have to do is just come out
and ask me--
86
00:03:46,750 --> 00:03:48,919
"Ricky, can I be in the show?"
87
00:03:48,919 --> 00:03:49,787
Really?
88
00:03:50,221 --> 00:03:51,088
Of course.
89
00:03:51,088 --> 00:03:53,257
Ricky, can I be in the show?
90
00:03:53,257 --> 00:03:54,992
No.
91
00:03:56,293 --> 00:03:57,161
Jerry.
You're mean.
92
00:03:57,161 --> 00:03:58,896
You didn't even let me finish the
audition.
93
00:03:58,896 --> 00:04:00,197
Hold on a minute, Jerry, will you?
94
00:04:00,197 --> 00:04:01,498
You give everybody else a chance...
95
00:04:01,498 --> 00:04:02,800
What do you mean, "what's going on?"
96
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,101
My wife is acting crazy again, Jerry.
97
00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:06,704
Now, look, you just hold on like I
told you to do, Jerry--
98
00:04:07,137 --> 00:04:08,439
just wait a minute.
99
00:04:08,439 --> 00:04:10,608
iAy, que barbaridad!
100
00:04:10,608 --> 00:04:12,776
(yelling gibberish)
101
00:04:14,511 --> 00:04:16,247
Relax, Lucy, relax.
102
00:04:16,247 --> 00:04:17,548
Oh, he makes me so mad.
103
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:18,849
There are just two things
104
00:04:18,849 --> 00:04:21,018
keeping me from dancing in that show.
105
00:04:21,018 --> 00:04:22,319
Your feet?
106
00:04:22,319 --> 00:04:23,621
No.
107
00:04:23,621 --> 00:04:26,223
A partner and some rehearsal.
108
00:04:26,223 --> 00:04:29,260
It's a wonderful opportunity for
somebody.
109
00:04:29,260 --> 00:04:30,127
Even if you had a partner,
110
00:04:30,127 --> 00:04:31,428
Ricky wouldn't hire you.
111
00:04:31,428 --> 00:04:32,730
Well, you heard what he said.
112
00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:34,465
He's having trouble finding somebody.
113
00:04:34,465 --> 00:04:36,634
Maybe if I had a partner and we were
really good,
114
00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:38,369
Ricky couldn't turn me down.
115
00:04:38,369 --> 00:04:41,839
It's a wonderful opportunity for...
somebody.
116
00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:43,574
Yeah, but who?
117
00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:44,875
Well...
118
00:04:44,875 --> 00:04:45,743
Gee, I wonder
119
00:04:46,176 --> 00:04:49,647
what Fred Astaire is doing these
days.
120
00:04:54,852 --> 00:04:56,153
Lucy.
121
00:04:56,153 --> 00:04:57,454
Coming.
122
00:04:58,322 --> 00:05:00,057
Hi, Ethel.
123
00:05:00,057 --> 00:05:01,358
Hi.
124
00:05:03,961 --> 00:05:05,262
Uh...
125
00:05:05,262 --> 00:05:06,563
(chuckles nervously)
126
00:05:08,299 --> 00:05:10,034
Something on your mind, Ethel?
127
00:05:10,034 --> 00:05:11,769
No... yes.
128
00:05:11,769 --> 00:05:13,937
Well, that covers the territory
pretty well.
129
00:05:13,937 --> 00:05:15,673
Lucy, were you serious last night
130
00:05:15,673 --> 00:05:18,275
about finding that partner for the
apache dance?
131
00:05:18,275 --> 00:05:19,143
I certainly was.
132
00:05:19,143 --> 00:05:21,745
Well, I've got him for you-- Fred.
133
00:05:21,745 --> 00:05:23,047
Fred!
134
00:05:23,047 --> 00:05:24,348
Astaire!
135
00:05:26,083 --> 00:05:27,384
Ta-da!
136
00:05:33,891 --> 00:05:35,192
Oh, Mertz.
137
00:05:35,192 --> 00:05:38,228
Now, Lucy, before you make up your
mind, listen.
138
00:05:38,228 --> 00:05:40,397
Fred used to be a headliner in
vaudeville.
139
00:05:40,397 --> 00:05:41,699
Why, he can dance circles
140
00:05:41,699 --> 00:05:43,867
around any of the younger men today.
141
00:05:43,867 --> 00:05:46,036
He's the king of the apache dancers.
142
00:05:46,036 --> 00:05:47,338
There, I said it.
143
00:05:47,771 --> 00:05:49,506
Do I get my new hat?
144
00:05:49,506 --> 00:05:50,374
Yes.
145
00:05:50,374 --> 00:05:52,976
Well, thanks a lot, Fred, but I don't
think...
146
00:05:52,976 --> 00:05:55,145
Oh, now, listen, Lucy.
He's really not half bad.
147
00:05:55,145 --> 00:05:56,447
He might work out fine.
148
00:05:56,447 --> 00:05:57,748
Why don't you give him a chance?
149
00:05:57,748 --> 00:05:59,049
Yeah.
150
00:05:59,049 --> 00:05:59,917
Well, all right.
151
00:05:59,917 --> 00:06:03,387
I suppose a fat apache is better than
none.
152
00:06:03,387 --> 00:06:05,556
ETHEL: Okay, you're on your own.
153
00:06:05,556 --> 00:06:06,857
See you later.
154
00:06:06,857 --> 00:06:07,725
Bye.
155
00:06:07,725 --> 00:06:09,893
Now we can start rehearsing, huh?
156
00:06:09,893 --> 00:06:11,195
Oh, all right.
157
00:06:12,496 --> 00:06:14,231
Now, let's get going.
158
00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:16,400
Well, I don't know much about this,
but...
159
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,135
Well, I'm gonna show you-- now, here.
160
00:06:18,135 --> 00:06:20,304
Put your hands together behind your
back.
161
00:06:20,304 --> 00:06:21,605
Put 'em up a little higher.
162
00:06:21,605 --> 00:06:24,208
Now turn around.
163
00:06:24,208 --> 00:06:27,244
Now... Now we face each other and
look in each other's eyes.
164
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:30,714
Where are you?
165
00:06:30,714 --> 00:06:32,015
I'm down here.
166
00:06:32,015 --> 00:06:35,052
Well, it's impossible to look into
each other's eyes.
167
00:06:35,052 --> 00:06:36,787
No, it isn't; we've got to do it.
168
00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:38,522
All apache dancers do it.
169
00:06:38,522 --> 00:06:40,691
Now, you come down a little and I'll
come up.
170
00:06:40,691 --> 00:06:41,992
All right.
171
00:06:43,293 --> 00:06:44,595
Hey... whoa...
right in there.
172
00:06:45,028 --> 00:06:45,896
Hold that.
173
00:06:45,896 --> 00:06:46,764
Yeah.
174
00:06:46,764 --> 00:06:49,366
Now we put our heads together.
175
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,403
Now stare in each other's eyes.
176
00:06:52,403 --> 00:06:53,270
All right.
177
00:06:55,005 --> 00:06:56,740
Now we go forward.
178
00:06:56,740 --> 00:06:57,608
Okay.
179
00:06:58,041 --> 00:06:58,909
Are you ready?
180
00:06:58,909 --> 00:06:59,777
Yep.
181
00:06:59,777 --> 00:07:01,945
Da, da, da, de--
182
00:07:01,945 --> 00:07:04,548
(groaning)
183
00:07:04,548 --> 00:07:05,849
Forward, I said forward.
184
00:07:06,283 --> 00:07:07,151
I went forward.
185
00:07:07,151 --> 00:07:09,319
I mean I go forward and you go
backward.
186
00:07:09,319 --> 00:07:10,621
Well, why didn't you say that?
187
00:07:10,621 --> 00:07:11,488
I did.
188
00:07:11,488 --> 00:07:12,790
You did not.
189
00:07:12,790 --> 00:07:13,657
Now, don't argue with me.
190
00:07:13,657 --> 00:07:14,958
I'm the one who knows about this.
191
00:07:14,958 --> 00:07:16,260
All right.
192
00:07:16,260 --> 00:07:17,561
Oh, come on, let's try it again.
193
00:07:17,995 --> 00:07:20,164
Put your hands behind your back.
194
00:07:20,164 --> 00:07:21,031
All right.
195
00:07:21,031 --> 00:07:22,766
Now, turn around.
196
00:07:22,766 --> 00:07:25,369
Now, put our heads together.
197
00:07:25,369 --> 00:07:26,236
All right.
198
00:07:26,236 --> 00:07:27,538
Look in each other's eyes.
199
00:07:27,538 --> 00:07:28,839
Okay.
200
00:07:28,839 --> 00:07:29,706
Now, are you ready?
201
00:07:29,706 --> 00:07:30,574
Yeah.
202
00:07:30,574 --> 00:07:33,610
Da, da, da...
203
00:07:33,610 --> 00:07:36,213
Da, da, da, da da, da dum-- bam
204
00:07:36,647 --> 00:07:40,551
Da, da, da...
205
00:07:40,551 --> 00:07:43,153
Da, da, da, da da, da dum-- bam
206
00:07:43,153 --> 00:07:45,322
(groaning)
207
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,660
Oh, Fred, I'm sorry.
208
00:07:49,660 --> 00:07:50,961
You're sorry.
209
00:07:50,961 --> 00:07:52,262
Yeah, that helps a lot.
210
00:07:52,262 --> 00:07:55,299
Fred, I'll be careful next time.
211
00:07:55,299 --> 00:07:57,468
Try it yourself this time, will you?
212
00:07:57,468 --> 00:07:58,335
All right.
213
00:07:58,335 --> 00:08:00,938
All right, now, put your hands behind
your back.
214
00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:01,805
All right.
215
00:08:01,805 --> 00:08:03,974
All right, now.
216
00:08:03,974 --> 00:08:04,842
(yells)
217
00:08:04,842 --> 00:08:06,143
Stand still, will you?
218
00:08:06,577 --> 00:08:07,444
All right, yeah.
219
00:08:07,444 --> 00:08:08,312
Are you ready?
220
00:08:08,312 --> 00:08:09,179
Yeah.
221
00:08:09,179 --> 00:08:11,782
Da, da, da...
222
00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:15,252
Da, da, da, da da, da dum-- bam
223
00:08:15,252 --> 00:08:17,855
Da, da, da...
224
00:08:17,855 --> 00:08:20,457
Da, da, da, da da, da dum-- bam
225
00:08:20,457 --> 00:08:24,361
(groaning)
226
00:08:24,361 --> 00:08:28,265
I guess I dah-ed when I should have
dum-ed.
227
00:08:28,265 --> 00:08:29,132
Yeah.
228
00:08:29,132 --> 00:08:31,301
Oh, Fred, I'm sorry.
229
00:08:31,301 --> 00:08:34,338
You're sorry and I'm crippled.
230
00:08:34,338 --> 00:08:36,073
Oh, come on, let's go on from here.
231
00:08:36,073 --> 00:08:37,808
Let's try something else.
232
00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:38,675
Okay.
Here.
233
00:08:38,675 --> 00:08:40,410
Now I grab you by the wrist
234
00:08:40,410 --> 00:08:42,145
and hurl you to the floor.
235
00:08:42,145 --> 00:08:43,447
What?
236
00:08:43,447 --> 00:08:46,917
I grab you by the wrist and hurl you
to the floor.
237
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:48,218
Okay.
238
00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:55,158
I said I grab you by the wrist
239
00:08:55,592 --> 00:08:57,327
and hurl you to the floor.
240
00:08:57,327 --> 00:08:58,195
Okay.
241
00:09:01,231 --> 00:09:02,533
What's the matter with you?
242
00:09:02,533 --> 00:09:03,834
Are you nailed down?
243
00:09:05,135 --> 00:09:07,738
Well, Fred, maybe you weren't doing
it right.
244
00:09:07,738 --> 00:09:10,340
Now, you said you take me by the
wrist
245
00:09:10,340 --> 00:09:12,075
and you hurl me to the floor.
246
00:09:13,810 --> 00:09:15,546
Is that what you mean?
247
00:09:15,546 --> 00:09:17,281
Yes, that's exactly what I mean.
248
00:09:17,281 --> 00:09:19,449
But there's a little bug in it
someplace.
249
00:09:19,449 --> 00:09:21,184
We've got to figure out
250
00:09:21,184 --> 00:09:23,787
how to get you down here and me up
there.
251
00:09:23,787 --> 00:09:24,655
Lucy!
What?
252
00:09:24,655 --> 00:09:26,390
Lucy, I've got the most wonderful
news.
253
00:09:26,390 --> 00:09:27,257
What?
254
00:09:27,691 --> 00:09:29,426
Well, this is going to cost me a new
hat,
255
00:09:29,426 --> 00:09:31,161
but I found the perfect partner for
you.
256
00:09:31,161 --> 00:09:32,029
Really? Who?
257
00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:33,330
I'm sorry, Fred,
258
00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:35,499
but I'm about to dethrone you
259
00:09:35,499 --> 00:09:37,668
as king of the apache dancers.
260
00:09:37,668 --> 00:09:39,403
You're a little late.
261
00:09:39,403 --> 00:09:40,704
I've just abdicated.
262
00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:43,740
Who was it?
263
00:09:44,174 --> 00:09:45,909
The owner of the French laundry has a
nephew
264
00:09:45,909 --> 00:09:48,512
who just got here from Paris, and
he's an apache dancer.
265
00:09:48,512 --> 00:09:50,247
Really?
What's his name?
266
00:09:50,247 --> 00:09:53,717
His name is-- now, I want to say it
267
00:09:53,717 --> 00:09:55,018
just like he did--
268
00:09:55,018 --> 00:09:58,055
his name is Jean-Valjean Raymond.
269
00:09:58,488 --> 00:10:01,091
(nasally): Onh?
270
00:10:01,091 --> 00:10:04,561
Jean-Valjean Raymond.
271
00:10:04,561 --> 00:10:07,164
Jean-Valjean Raymond.
272
00:10:07,598 --> 00:10:08,465
Onh.
Onh.
273
00:10:08,465 --> 00:10:10,634
I asked him to come over here this
afternoon.
274
00:10:10,634 --> 00:10:11,935
Is that all right?
Yeah, that's wonderful.
275
00:10:11,935 --> 00:10:14,104
Ricky will be at rehearsal all day.
276
00:10:14,104 --> 00:10:15,839
Oh, I envy you spending all afternoon
277
00:10:15,839 --> 00:10:17,574
with a romantic Frenchman.
278
00:10:17,574 --> 00:10:19,309
Oh, Ethel, don't be silly.
279
00:10:19,309 --> 00:10:21,044
This is strictly business.
280
00:10:21,044 --> 00:10:22,346
Onh?
281
00:10:22,346 --> 00:10:23,647
Onh.
282
00:10:25,382 --> 00:10:29,286
(doorbell buzzing)
283
00:10:34,491 --> 00:10:35,792
Madame Ricardo?
284
00:10:35,792 --> 00:10:37,094
Yes?
285
00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,829
I am Jean-Valjean Raymond.
286
00:10:38,829 --> 00:10:40,130
Oh!
287
00:10:40,130 --> 00:10:42,733
Won't you come in, please?
288
00:10:42,733 --> 00:10:45,335
It was so good of you to come this
afternoon.
289
00:10:45,335 --> 00:10:46,203
(gasps)
290
00:10:46,203 --> 00:10:47,504
What's the matter?
291
00:10:47,504 --> 00:10:48,372
Oh, madame.
292
00:10:48,805 --> 00:10:50,974
But you have such a beautiful hand!
293
00:10:50,974 --> 00:10:52,275
Oh, really?
294
00:10:52,275 --> 00:10:55,312
Well, I have another one just like
it.
295
00:11:00,083 --> 00:11:02,686
Please, we better get to the dancing.
296
00:11:02,686 --> 00:11:05,288
Oh, but you don't understand, madame.
297
00:11:05,722 --> 00:11:08,325
The apache dance is a dance of amour.
298
00:11:08,325 --> 00:11:10,060
One must warm up to it.
299
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:12,229
Yeah, well, I think you started
warming up
300
00:11:12,229 --> 00:11:13,530
on the way over here.
301
00:11:13,530 --> 00:11:15,265
I can't help it.
302
00:11:15,265 --> 00:11:16,566
I can't help it.
303
00:11:16,566 --> 00:11:18,301
There's a pounding in my heart.
304
00:11:18,301 --> 00:11:21,338
You don't watch out, there'll be a
pounding on your head.
305
00:11:21,338 --> 00:11:23,073
Lucy, Ricky's coming.
306
00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:23,940
Ricky?!
307
00:11:23,940 --> 00:11:25,676
I just saw him coming up the front
stairs.
308
00:11:25,676 --> 00:11:26,543
Oh, no! Quickly, quickly!
309
00:11:26,543 --> 00:11:27,844
Vite?
My husband.
310
00:11:27,844 --> 00:11:29,579
Oh, vite!
311
00:11:30,013 --> 00:11:31,748
Here, here.
312
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:43,026
Hi, honey.
313
00:11:43,026 --> 00:11:44,327
Oh!
314
00:11:44,327 --> 00:11:45,195
Oh, hello, Ricky.
315
00:11:45,195 --> 00:11:46,930
What are you doing here?
316
00:11:46,930 --> 00:11:48,665
I live here, remember?
317
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,437
I mean, what are you doing home in
the afternoon?
318
00:11:53,437 --> 00:11:54,738
Oh, I forgot this music, honey.
319
00:11:54,738 --> 00:11:55,605
I need it for rehearsal.
320
00:11:55,605 --> 00:11:59,943
Oh, gee, it's a shame you can't stay
for a minute.
321
00:11:59,943 --> 00:12:02,546
Oh, I guess I can stay a minute or
two.
322
00:12:02,546 --> 00:12:04,281
Oh, no, no, you better go.
323
00:12:04,281 --> 00:12:06,450
What's the matter with you?
324
00:12:06,883 --> 00:12:09,052
Well, I guess I'm just excited
325
00:12:09,052 --> 00:12:13,390
because you're...
h-home in the afternoon.
326
00:12:13,390 --> 00:12:15,125
Well!
327
00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:17,294
If you're going to get that excited,
328
00:12:17,294 --> 00:12:18,595
I should never leave.
329
00:12:18,595 --> 00:12:20,764
(squawking)
330
00:12:23,366 --> 00:12:24,668
I'll see you tonight.
331
00:12:24,668 --> 00:12:25,969
Oh, good-bye, dear.
332
00:12:25,969 --> 00:12:28,572
I better get my hat; it looks like
rain.
333
00:12:28,572 --> 00:12:29,873
Oh, I'll get it, I'll get it.
334
00:12:29,873 --> 00:12:31,608
All right, thank you.
335
00:12:36,813 --> 00:12:37,681
There.
336
00:12:37,681 --> 00:12:38,982
Thank you, honey.
337
00:12:38,982 --> 00:12:40,717
Maybe I should take an umbrella, too.
338
00:12:40,717 --> 00:12:42,886
Oh, I'll get it, I'll get it.
339
00:12:42,886 --> 00:12:44,621
No, I guess not.
340
00:12:47,657 --> 00:12:50,694
Still, I hate to get soaked on the
way down to the club.
341
00:12:50,694 --> 00:12:52,863
Ah, the heck with it.
342
00:12:54,598 --> 00:12:57,200
I'll see you tonight, honey.
343
00:12:59,369 --> 00:13:00,670
(sighs)
344
00:13:02,405 --> 00:13:03,273
Is he gone?
345
00:13:03,273 --> 00:13:04,574
Huh?
346
00:13:04,574 --> 00:13:05,876
Your husband, is he gone?
347
00:13:05,876 --> 00:13:07,177
Oh, yes, he's gone.
348
00:13:07,177 --> 00:13:12,382
Oh, ma cherie, now I know how you
really feel about me.
349
00:13:12,382 --> 00:13:13,683
Kiss me!
350
00:13:13,683 --> 00:13:14,551
No!
351
00:13:14,551 --> 00:13:16,286
Why are you American women
352
00:13:16,286 --> 00:13:17,154
so stubborn?
353
00:13:17,154 --> 00:13:19,322
Why are you Frenchmen so amorous?
354
00:13:19,322 --> 00:13:21,057
I don't know.
355
00:13:21,057 --> 00:13:24,094
Just fortunate, I guess.
356
00:13:25,395 --> 00:13:26,263
Kiss me.
357
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:27,130
No!
358
00:13:27,130 --> 00:13:29,299
But if all you wanted me was to dance
with you,
359
00:13:29,299 --> 00:13:32,335
why did you hide me from your
husband?
360
00:13:32,335 --> 00:13:34,070
Because I want to get a job dancing
in his show
361
00:13:34,070 --> 00:13:36,673
and I don't want him to know that I'm
rehearsing with you.
362
00:13:36,673 --> 00:13:39,276
Am I not romantic to you?
363
00:13:39,709 --> 00:13:41,444
Yes, you are not romantic to me.
364
00:13:41,444 --> 00:13:42,746
Now, please go.
365
00:13:42,746 --> 00:13:43,613
Very well.
366
00:13:43,613 --> 00:13:45,348
I shall go.
367
00:13:45,348 --> 00:13:46,650
Thank goodness.
368
00:13:46,650 --> 00:13:48,819
But...
I shall return
369
00:13:48,819 --> 00:13:51,855
and I shall look for ways
370
00:13:51,855 --> 00:13:55,325
to make myself more romantic
371
00:13:55,325 --> 00:13:58,795
in your beautiful, big, blue eyes.
372
00:13:58,795 --> 00:14:00,964
Ewww...
373
00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:07,470
Vive la romance.
374
00:14:09,639 --> 00:14:11,374
Well!
375
00:14:30,460 --> 00:14:32,195
What are you doing, dear?
376
00:14:32,195 --> 00:14:33,496
Oh, just getting comfortable.
377
00:14:33,496 --> 00:14:35,232
Put your shoe back on.
378
00:14:35,232 --> 00:14:38,702
I promised the Mertzes we'd go to the
movies with them tonight.
379
00:14:38,702 --> 00:14:40,437
They'll be up in a few minutes.
380
00:14:40,437 --> 00:14:42,172
Oh... all right.
381
00:14:43,907 --> 00:14:44,774
Lucy?
382
00:14:44,774 --> 00:14:47,811
Yes, dear, you have to shave.
383
00:14:47,811 --> 00:14:49,546
Shave, shave, shave.
384
00:14:49,546 --> 00:14:53,016
All this shaving is liable to wear my
chin away.
385
00:14:53,016 --> 00:14:55,185
Okay, Andy Gump.
386
00:15:13,403 --> 00:15:14,704
Shh! shh!
387
00:15:14,704 --> 00:15:16,006
What are you doing here?
388
00:15:16,006 --> 00:15:18,174
Oh, this is more romantic.
389
00:15:18,174 --> 00:15:19,910
We will elope together.
390
00:15:19,910 --> 00:15:21,645
Elope? Are you out of your mind?
391
00:15:21,645 --> 00:15:22,946
Now, get out of here.
392
00:15:22,946 --> 00:15:23,813
No, please don't.
393
00:15:23,813 --> 00:15:25,115
Oh!
394
00:15:25,115 --> 00:15:26,850
(yelling)
395
00:15:26,850 --> 00:15:29,452
(crashing)
396
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,621
What happened?
397
00:15:31,621 --> 00:15:35,091
The ladder-- she went down without
me.
398
00:15:35,091 --> 00:15:37,260
Fine, now what are you going to do?
399
00:15:37,260 --> 00:15:38,561
RICKY: Lucy?
400
00:15:38,995 --> 00:15:40,297
(yells)
401
00:15:40,297 --> 00:15:41,164
Shh!
402
00:15:41,598 --> 00:15:42,465
Lucy?
403
00:15:42,465 --> 00:15:43,333
What is it?!
404
00:15:43,767 --> 00:15:45,068
No hot water again.
405
00:15:45,068 --> 00:15:46,369
Did you tell Ethel
406
00:15:46,369 --> 00:15:48,104
to fix the hot- water heater?
407
00:15:48,104 --> 00:15:49,406
Yes, I talked to her.
408
00:15:49,406 --> 00:15:51,141
Well, she better fix it
409
00:15:51,141 --> 00:15:52,442
or I'm going to move.
410
00:15:52,442 --> 00:15:54,177
I cut myself to pieces in here.
411
00:16:05,889 --> 00:16:09,359
Feels like I shaved with the top of a
tin can.
412
00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:10,660
Tin can?
413
00:16:10,660 --> 00:16:11,528
Yeah.
414
00:16:12,829 --> 00:16:15,865
You know, it wouldn't be such a bad
idea to move, at that.
415
00:16:15,865 --> 00:16:19,336
How would you like to live in the
country and commute?
416
00:16:19,336 --> 00:16:20,637
Oh, I'd like that.
417
00:16:20,637 --> 00:16:22,372
Uh, honey, you'd better go get your
shirt on.
418
00:16:22,372 --> 00:16:24,107
The Mertzes will be here any minute.
419
00:16:24,107 --> 00:16:25,842
Oh, we have lots of time.
420
00:16:25,842 --> 00:16:27,577
Want a cigarette?
421
00:16:27,577 --> 00:16:30,180
Yeah, light it for me, dear.
422
00:16:30,180 --> 00:16:31,481
All right.
423
00:16:36,252 --> 00:16:37,120
Hey, look at me.
424
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,289
I'm making like Paul Henreid.
425
00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:41,024
(Lucy laughing stiffly)
426
00:16:43,193 --> 00:16:46,663
Uh, put it in my mouth, dear.
427
00:16:46,663 --> 00:16:49,265
Do you want me to smoke it for you?
428
00:16:49,265 --> 00:16:51,868
You know, living in the country
429
00:16:51,868 --> 00:16:54,471
wouldn't be a bad idea at all
430
00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:57,507
with the trees and the flowers...
431
00:16:57,507 --> 00:16:59,242
the birds singing...
432
00:16:59,242 --> 00:17:03,146
tweet-tweet, tweet-tweet,
tweet-tweet.
433
00:17:03,146 --> 00:17:05,315
Tweet-tweet.
434
00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:07,050
Where would you like to live,
435
00:17:07,050 --> 00:17:08,785
Long Island or Westchester?
436
00:17:08,785 --> 00:17:10,520
Westchester.
437
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,689
Yeah, you know,
438
00:17:12,689 --> 00:17:14,858
it would be real wonderful
439
00:17:14,858 --> 00:17:19,629
to be away from the crowd and the
noise and the nightclubs.
440
00:17:19,629 --> 00:17:21,364
And the smoke.
441
00:17:23,533 --> 00:17:27,437
We could get a place in New Jersey.
That's nice...
442
00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:28,738
(Jean-Valjean yelling)
443
00:17:28,738 --> 00:17:29,606
What's that?
444
00:17:29,606 --> 00:17:30,907
What's that?
445
00:17:30,907 --> 00:17:32,642
Hey, there's a man out here!
446
00:17:32,642 --> 00:17:33,943
Hey, hold it now.
447
00:17:33,943 --> 00:17:35,245
Hold on.
448
00:17:35,245 --> 00:17:36,112
I'll get...
449
00:17:36,112 --> 00:17:38,281
Hold on, now, hold on.
450
00:17:38,281 --> 00:17:40,450
(sighing)
451
00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:42,185
Oh, thank you, monsieur.
452
00:17:42,185 --> 00:17:44,354
I thought I was going to fall.
453
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:46,523
Who are you, and what are you doing
outside that window?
454
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:47,824
Yeah, how about that?
455
00:17:49,559 --> 00:17:50,860
My ladder fell.
456
00:17:50,860 --> 00:17:53,463
I came here to elope with madame.
457
00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:55,198
Elope! What's going on here?
458
00:17:55,198 --> 00:17:57,801
How can you say a thing like that?
459
00:17:57,801 --> 00:17:58,668
What do you mean you came here...?
460
00:17:58,668 --> 00:18:01,271
Please, please, this is no time to
argue.
461
00:18:01,271 --> 00:18:03,440
If we stay here much longer,
462
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,042
her stupid husband will return
463
00:18:06,042 --> 00:18:07,343
and find us here.
464
00:18:07,343 --> 00:18:09,079
Watch what you're saying!
465
00:18:09,079 --> 00:18:10,814
He's my stupid husband!
466
00:18:10,814 --> 00:18:12,115
He's my husband.
467
00:18:12,115 --> 00:18:14,284
All right, you, now you tell me
what's going on
468
00:18:14,717 --> 00:18:16,453
or I'll punch you right in the nose.
469
00:18:16,453 --> 00:18:17,320
(yelling)
470
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:21,224
Don't try to get away, you gigolo!
471
00:18:21,224 --> 00:18:22,092
Gigolo!
472
00:18:22,525 --> 00:18:24,260
I am very insulted.
473
00:18:24,260 --> 00:18:26,863
I challenge you to a duel.
474
00:18:26,863 --> 00:18:28,164
LUCY: A duel!
475
00:18:29,466 --> 00:18:32,068
You got yourself a deal, brother.
476
00:18:32,936 --> 00:18:34,237
Very well.
477
00:18:34,237 --> 00:18:36,840
Tomorrow at dawn
478
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,442
behind Radio City Music Hall.
479
00:18:41,177 --> 00:18:43,346
What do you mean, "tomorrow at dawn
480
00:18:43,346 --> 00:18:45,515
behind Radio City Music Hall"?
481
00:18:45,515 --> 00:18:47,250
Right now-- I'm ready now.
482
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:48,118
Very well.
483
00:18:48,118 --> 00:18:49,419
I challenge you.
484
00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:51,588
You choose the weapons.
485
00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:54,190
These are good enough for me,
brother.
486
00:18:54,190 --> 00:18:55,058
Put 'em up.
Come on.
487
00:18:55,058 --> 00:18:55,925
Ricky, Ricky.
488
00:18:55,925 --> 00:18:58,528
Please, please, please-- too crude.
489
00:18:58,528 --> 00:19:00,697
Very vulgar.
It must be pistols.
490
00:19:00,697 --> 00:19:01,564
"Pee-stoles"?
491
00:19:01,564 --> 00:19:02,866
"Pee-stoles"?
492
00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:06,769
Who's got any "pee-stoles"?
493
00:19:06,769 --> 00:19:10,240
I'll hit you on top of the head with
a conga drum, you bum.
494
00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:15,011
Qu'est-ce que c'est "conga drum, you
bum"?
495
00:19:15,011 --> 00:19:17,614
Well, it's a long...
496
00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:18,915
and it's...
497
00:19:18,915 --> 00:19:20,216
and you...
498
00:19:20,216 --> 00:19:21,951
It'll hurt you.
499
00:19:22,819 --> 00:19:24,120
It must be pistols.
500
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:26,723
Where are we going to get pistols?
501
00:19:26,723 --> 00:19:28,892
I have such a terrible temper
502
00:19:28,892 --> 00:19:30,627
that I always carry with me
503
00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:31,928
dueling pistols.
504
00:19:31,928 --> 00:19:32,795
Oh, no.
Oh, no!
505
00:19:32,795 --> 00:19:34,097
Okay, that's good enough for me.
506
00:19:34,097 --> 00:19:36,699
Ricky, you don't know what you're
doing.
507
00:19:36,699 --> 00:19:38,868
Come on, honey, this is liable to be
a bit messy.
508
00:19:38,868 --> 00:19:40,170
Ricky, I'm not worth it.
509
00:19:40,170 --> 00:19:41,471
I'm not worth it.
Out.
510
00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:43,206
I'm not worth it.
Out! Out!
511
00:19:43,206 --> 00:19:45,375
All right, I'm ready.
512
00:19:45,375 --> 00:19:47,544
Where did you go?
513
00:19:47,544 --> 00:19:48,845
Hey, Frenchy!
514
00:19:48,845 --> 00:19:50,146
All right.
515
00:19:51,447 --> 00:19:55,351
Please, put that thing away before
you kill somebody.
516
00:19:55,785 --> 00:19:57,954
You mean we're not going to duel?
517
00:19:57,954 --> 00:19:59,255
I hope not.
518
00:19:59,255 --> 00:20:00,557
Whew!
519
00:20:00,557 --> 00:20:04,027
That's the closest I've ever been to
a duel
520
00:20:04,027 --> 00:20:05,328
in my whole life.
521
00:20:05,328 --> 00:20:07,497
Me, too.
522
00:20:07,931 --> 00:20:10,099
What do you mean, "me, too"?
523
00:20:10,099 --> 00:20:11,401
It was a bum steer.
524
00:20:11,401 --> 00:20:13,570
I was told that it was safe
525
00:20:14,003 --> 00:20:16,172
to challenge people over here
526
00:20:16,172 --> 00:20:19,642
because American men would be afraid
to duel.
527
00:20:20,076 --> 00:20:21,377
American men, eh?
528
00:20:23,112 --> 00:20:27,016
I guess I fooled you with my Brooklyn
accent, eh?
529
00:20:29,185 --> 00:20:33,523
I guess I made what you call a
boo-boo.
530
00:20:33,523 --> 00:20:34,824
I guess you did.
531
00:20:34,824 --> 00:20:36,559
What about all this stuff
532
00:20:36,559 --> 00:20:38,294
about eloping with my wife?
533
00:20:38,294 --> 00:20:40,029
Is that another, uh... boo-boo?
534
00:20:40,029 --> 00:20:41,331
Oh, super-size.
535
00:20:41,331 --> 00:20:44,367
I was also told that American women
536
00:20:44,367 --> 00:20:47,403
expect Frenchmen to be romantic.
537
00:20:47,403 --> 00:20:50,440
I have a wife and five children of my
own.
538
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,609
Then what are you doing here?
539
00:20:52,609 --> 00:20:54,777
I came here to be your wife's dance
partner
540
00:20:55,211 --> 00:20:56,512
in the apache dance.
541
00:20:56,512 --> 00:20:58,248
Oh.
542
00:20:58,248 --> 00:21:00,850
Ohhh...
543
00:21:00,850 --> 00:21:03,886
Oh, I smell a red-headed rat.
544
00:21:05,622 --> 00:21:08,224
I tell you what we're going to do,
amigo.
545
00:21:08,224 --> 00:21:09,525
This thing loaded?
546
00:21:09,525 --> 00:21:10,393
But yes.
547
00:21:10,393 --> 00:21:11,694
Ay!
548
00:21:11,694 --> 00:21:13,863
We're going to teach my wife a lesson
549
00:21:13,863 --> 00:21:15,598
she will never forget.
550
00:21:15,598 --> 00:21:17,333
You and I are going to do...
551
00:21:19,936 --> 00:21:22,105
Well, we're ready to go to the
movies.
552
00:21:22,105 --> 00:21:23,406
Lucy...
(yells)
553
00:21:23,406 --> 00:21:24,274
what's the matter?
554
00:21:24,274 --> 00:21:26,442
They're in there.
They're going to fight a duel.
555
00:21:26,442 --> 00:21:27,310
A duel!
Yes!
556
00:21:27,310 --> 00:21:28,177
Who's dueling?
557
00:21:28,611 --> 00:21:29,912
Did he come back?
558
00:21:29,912 --> 00:21:31,214
Yes!
Who's dueling?
559
00:21:31,214 --> 00:21:32,081
How did it happen?
560
00:21:32,081 --> 00:21:33,816
He called him a gigolo.
561
00:21:33,816 --> 00:21:35,118
Who's dueling?
562
00:21:35,118 --> 00:21:35,985
Swords?
563
00:21:35,985 --> 00:21:37,287
Pistols.
564
00:21:37,287 --> 00:21:38,154
Who's dueling?
565
00:21:38,154 --> 00:21:39,889
Ricky and Jean-Valjean Raymond.
566
00:21:39,889 --> 00:21:42,492
All four of them?
567
00:21:42,492 --> 00:21:44,227
(gunshots)
568
00:21:46,396 --> 00:21:48,131
(wailing)
569
00:21:48,998 --> 00:21:50,300
(gunshots stop)
570
00:21:54,203 --> 00:21:56,372
LUCY: Oh, no.
571
00:21:59,409 --> 00:22:02,879
Sorry, madame, c'est la vie.
572
00:22:02,879 --> 00:22:04,614
Is he...?
573
00:22:08,084 --> 00:22:10,687
Oh, Ricky!
574
00:22:10,687 --> 00:22:11,988
Don't, madame.
575
00:22:11,988 --> 00:22:13,289
It isn't a pretty sight.
576
00:22:13,289 --> 00:22:14,590
(wailing)
577
00:22:14,590 --> 00:22:18,061
Oh, this is all my fault.
578
00:22:18,061 --> 00:22:19,796
I killed him.
579
00:22:19,796 --> 00:22:21,531
Oh, you poor little thing.
580
00:22:21,531 --> 00:22:22,832
No, you didn't.
He did.
581
00:22:22,832 --> 00:22:25,868
You... you crepe suzette.
582
00:22:28,471 --> 00:22:30,640
If I hadn't wanted to do that apache
dance,
583
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:31,941
this never would have happened.
584
00:22:32,375 --> 00:22:34,977
Oh, if I only had it to do over
again,
585
00:22:34,977 --> 00:22:38,881
I'd just be happy being Mrs. Ricky
Ricardo.
586
00:22:38,881 --> 00:22:42,785
Oh, Ethel, if I only had another
chance.
587
00:22:44,954 --> 00:22:45,822
All right
588
00:22:45,822 --> 00:22:47,557
I'll give you one more chance.
589
00:22:47,557 --> 00:22:49,292
Ricky!
590
00:22:49,292 --> 00:22:51,027
Ricky, you're all right.
591
00:22:51,461 --> 00:22:53,196
Oh, sure I'm all right.
592
00:22:53,196 --> 00:22:55,798
Honey, what happened?
593
00:22:55,798 --> 00:22:59,268
We both made a boo-boo.
594
00:22:59,268 --> 00:23:01,003
Oh, yoo-hoo.
595
00:23:03,172 --> 00:23:05,341
Vive la romance.
596
00:23:10,113 --> 00:23:13,149
Oh, honey, you should have seen your
face
597
00:23:13,583 --> 00:23:15,752
when I popped out of that room.
598
00:23:15,752 --> 00:23:18,354
Well, you scared me out of ten years'
growth.
599
00:23:18,354 --> 00:23:21,391
Oh, well, honey, I just wanted to
teach you a lesson.
600
00:23:21,391 --> 00:23:22,692
That's all.
601
00:23:22,692 --> 00:23:25,294
Yeah, I guess I had it coming to me.
602
00:23:25,294 --> 00:23:27,029
Well, good night, baby.
603
00:23:27,029 --> 00:23:28,765
Good night, sweetheart.
604
00:23:35,271 --> 00:23:37,440
(sighing)
605
00:23:56,526 --> 00:23:58,261
(yells)
606
00:24:04,333 --> 00:24:06,936
Hey! what's that for?!
607
00:24:06,936 --> 00:24:08,237
Well, I've just been thinking it
over.
608
00:24:08,237 --> 00:24:09,539
That wasn't funny at all.
609
00:24:09,539 --> 00:24:11,274
That was a terrible thing to do to
me.
610
00:24:11,274 --> 00:24:13,009
How could you play such a dirty trick
611
00:24:13,009 --> 00:24:14,744
when you know the effect it would
have on me?
612
00:24:15,178 --> 00:24:18,214
Of all the inconsiderate, no-good,
lowdown...
613
00:24:18,214 --> 00:24:19,949
I don't think that I'll ever
614
00:24:19,949 --> 00:24:21,684
speak to you again.
615
00:24:31,661 --> 00:24:35,565
Captioned by Media Access Group at
WGBH access.wgbh.org
616
00:24:43,806 --> 00:24:47,710
The part of Jean-Valjean Raymond was
played by Jeff Mencken.
617
00:25:14,170 --> 00:25:16,772
I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production.
39516
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