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1
00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:04,137
(I Love Lucy theme music plays)
2
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,902
(phone rings)
3
00:00:35,902 --> 00:00:36,903
Hello.
4
00:00:36,903 --> 00:00:38,405
Oh, hi, Ethel.
5
00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:39,906
Oh, just straightening up.
6
00:00:39,906 --> 00:00:42,409
You know I can't stand it if the
house isn't neat.
7
00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:45,545
A place for everything and everything
in its place.
8
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:46,746
That's the way I like it.
9
00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:49,549
Well, Ricky ought to be home any
minute.
10
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:50,350
No, I had dinner.
11
00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:52,752
Ricky ate downtown at the club.
12
00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:55,555
Gee, I don't know what we're doing
tonight.
13
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,957
I'll call you back after Ricky gets
home.
14
00:00:57,957 --> 00:00:59,175
Okay, dear.
15
00:00:59,676 --> 00:01:04,180
(humming)
16
00:01:14,190 --> 00:01:15,975
(keeps humming)
17
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:23,917
(whistling)
18
00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:57,817
(keeps whistling)
19
00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:07,994
Ah...
20
00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:31,484
(whistling)
21
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,493
Ay!
22
00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:46,282
(keeps whistling)
23
00:03:01,297 --> 00:03:02,799
(sighs)
24
00:03:12,308 --> 00:03:15,311
Hello, Ricky baby, I...
25
00:03:15,311 --> 00:03:16,813
Hi.
26
00:03:23,820 --> 00:03:25,205
(ashtray clinks)
27
00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:28,541
Well!
28
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:29,742
What's the matter?
29
00:03:29,742 --> 00:03:32,145
How could a cyclone hit in here
30
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:34,147
and not hit in the kitchen?
31
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:36,149
What are you talking about, a
cyclone?
32
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,001
Well, something hit this room.
33
00:03:38,001 --> 00:03:40,303
Where? I don't see anything wrong.
34
00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:41,304
Oh, you don't?
35
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:42,805
Would you mind telling me, please,
36
00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:45,308
what all these clothes are doing here
in the living room?
37
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,809
Oh, that's where I took them off.
38
00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:48,311
Would you put them away for me, dear?
39
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,797
Look, honey, there's a new invention
you'll just love--
40
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:52,599
it's a hole in the wall, has a long
pole in it,
41
00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:54,067
little metal things hanging on it
42
00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:57,237
and it's called a coat closet.
43
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,939
Well, what won't they think of next?
44
00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:01,241
Oh, honestly, Ricky.
45
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,743
How can you men be so sloppy and
dirty?
46
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:06,246
You're nothing but a bunch of mess
cats.
47
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,616
There's nothing sloppy and dirty
about this room.
48
00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:11,000
It just looks, uh, lived in.
49
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:14,754
Well, that's a good answer if you
happen to be a pig.
50
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,206
Honey, just drop the subject, will
you?
51
00:04:17,206 --> 00:04:18,207
I'd be glad to drop it
52
00:04:18,207 --> 00:04:20,710
if there's any more room on the
floor.
53
00:04:20,710 --> 00:04:23,896
You can't expect me to live in a
museum.
54
00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:28,601
A man's home is his castle, and this
is my castle.
55
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:31,104
Oh, all right, your majesty.
56
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,606
I bow to Ricardo the first...
57
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,608
king of the slobs.
58
00:04:38,544 --> 00:04:41,948
Thank you, my faithful subject.
59
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,951
Don't expect this slave to pick up
after you.
60
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,453
If you want the house to look like
this, okay,
61
00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:49,455
you can just sit and wallow in it.
62
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:52,458
Ay, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy.
63
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:55,461
Well, here's a whole spread on Tommy
Dorsey at home,
64
00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:57,063
and you know something?
65
00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:58,264
What?
66
00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:00,667
He has his shoes on and a tie, too.
67
00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:01,868
Yeah? What-what magazine is that?
68
00:05:02,268 --> 00:05:04,387
Your musician's magazine, The Half
Beat.
69
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:05,388
It is?
70
00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:06,889
Let me see that.
71
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:09,392
Well, how do you like that?
72
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,893
My press agent told me
73
00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:13,096
I was going to get the next spread.
74
00:05:13,096 --> 00:05:15,598
It was going to be "Ricky Ricardo At
Home."
75
00:05:15,598 --> 00:05:16,883
What magazine was it going to be in,
76
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,935
Better Homes and Garbage?
77
00:05:20,353 --> 00:05:22,021
No, smarty, in that magazine.
78
00:05:22,021 --> 00:05:24,023
That's a very important magazine
79
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:25,825
in the music business.
80
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,827
Wait till I hear from Kenny.
81
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,329
Some press agent he is.
82
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,331
(phone rings)
83
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,332
Hello.
84
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:33,833
Hi, Ethel.
85
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:37,337
Hi, dear.
86
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,272
No, I don't think we're doing
anything.
87
00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:41,274
Why don't you and Fred come on up.
88
00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:42,075
Okay.
89
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,543
Ethel and Fred are coming up, honey.
90
00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:45,545
Put your shoes on and pick up those
papers.
91
00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:46,546
What for?
92
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:48,047
Because company is coming.
93
00:05:48,047 --> 00:05:51,434
It isn't company, it's Fred and
Ethel.
94
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,436
Well, put your shoes on.
95
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,722
They know I have feet.
96
00:05:55,722 --> 00:05:57,357
Ricky, are you going to help me
97
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,308
clean up this place or aren't you?
98
00:05:59,308 --> 00:06:00,309
No, this is my home
99
00:06:00,309 --> 00:06:02,311
and I want to be comfortable in it.
100
00:06:02,311 --> 00:06:03,312
Your home?
101
00:06:03,312 --> 00:06:05,031
What does that make me, a visiting
relative?
102
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,632
Oh, honey, I didn't mean it that way.
103
00:06:06,632 --> 00:06:07,867
You know, I was under the impression
104
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,319
that half of everything in this house
was mine.
105
00:06:10,319 --> 00:06:11,571
All right, all right,
106
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:13,823
you go ahead and clean your half of
everything
107
00:06:13,823 --> 00:06:15,825
and leave my half just the way it is.
108
00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:20,747
All right, we'll divide the room in
half.
109
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:23,216
I'll keep my half the way I want to,
110
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,551
you keep your half any way you
please.
111
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:27,053
Are you kidding?
112
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,421
No, I'm very serious.
113
00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:29,338
Huh.
114
00:06:29,338 --> 00:06:32,625
We'll make a line right about here.
115
00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:34,627
Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.
116
00:06:34,627 --> 00:06:38,064
Esta mujer esta absolutamente loca.
117
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,565
Never mind that.
118
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,568
Now, honey, wait just a minute.
119
00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:44,070
Just stay right over there.
120
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,071
That's your line.
121
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,573
You can't come over here without a
passport.
122
00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:49,075
Oh, for goodness' sakes.
123
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:50,576
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
124
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:51,577
That's on the line.
125
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:53,079
I just want a cigarette!
126
00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,798
Well, half of what's in this pack is
mine.
127
00:06:56,299 --> 00:06:59,802
You mean that's the only cigarette we
have in the house?
128
00:06:59,802 --> 00:07:01,804
Yep. You get Philip and I get Morris.
129
00:07:09,812 --> 00:07:11,814
Stay off my side.
130
00:07:13,316 --> 00:07:14,267
(door buzzer)
131
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,002
Oh, I forgot about the Mertzes.
132
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:17,503
What are these things doing over here
133
00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:19,005
on my side?
134
00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:30,817
Come in.
135
00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:31,818
Hi, Lucy.
136
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:32,819
Hi, folks.
Hi.
137
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:35,822
What's this?
138
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:41,828
Before you settle down, whose side do
you want to sit on?
139
00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:43,062
FRED: Huh?
140
00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:45,915
Over there in the neat side of the
house,
141
00:07:45,915 --> 00:07:48,301
or over here with us mess cats?
142
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,202
What's going on here?
143
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,703
Well, Ricky and I had an argument
144
00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:52,205
about his being so messy,
145
00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:53,706
so I divided the apartment in two.
146
00:07:53,706 --> 00:07:55,208
This is my side, that's Ricky's side.
147
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:57,710
I wondered what happened over there.
148
00:07:57,710 --> 00:07:59,011
What's the matter with it?
149
00:07:59,011 --> 00:08:00,213
It looks okay to me.
150
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:01,664
Okay?
151
00:08:01,664 --> 00:08:03,349
Sure, there's nothing wrong.
152
00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:04,650
Just looks lived in.
153
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:05,635
Atta boy, Fred.
154
00:08:05,635 --> 00:08:07,386
Would you like to join me
155
00:08:07,386 --> 00:08:09,889
in the comfortable part of the house?
156
00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:10,890
Delighted.
157
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:13,626
Well, pull up some debris and sit
down, Fred.
158
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:15,444
Don't touch anything on your way over
here.
159
00:08:15,444 --> 00:08:17,947
Everything over there is sterilized.
160
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,462
Lucy, do you mind if I sit on this
side?
161
00:08:33,462 --> 00:08:35,965
No, I think you might find it rather
pleasant over here...
162
00:08:35,965 --> 00:08:37,884
until the wind changes.
163
00:08:40,386 --> 00:08:43,122
Why don't you take your shoes off,
Fred?
164
00:08:43,122 --> 00:08:44,507
Oh, can I do that?
165
00:08:44,507 --> 00:08:45,508
Yeah.
166
00:08:45,508 --> 00:08:46,509
Oh, gee, thanks.
167
00:08:46,509 --> 00:08:48,010
Ah, what a relief.
168
00:08:48,010 --> 00:08:49,011
(chuckles)
169
00:08:49,011 --> 00:08:50,513
Take your coat off.
170
00:08:50,513 --> 00:08:52,014
Well, thanks.
171
00:08:57,019 --> 00:08:58,521
Thank you.
172
00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:03,776
Here, I'll hang it up for you.
173
00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:05,278
Ah.
174
00:09:07,830 --> 00:09:08,831
Go ahead.
175
00:09:09,332 --> 00:09:10,833
Would you like some fruit?
176
00:09:10,833 --> 00:09:12,335
Yeah, I love fruit.
177
00:09:12,335 --> 00:09:13,286
All right.
178
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,987
Here, Fred, have a banana.
179
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:16,622
Thanks.
180
00:09:16,622 --> 00:09:18,124
Good-looking banana.
181
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:25,631
(phone rings)
182
00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:27,133
LUCY: Uh-uh-uh.
183
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:28,134
It's on the line.
184
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:29,635
We have to answer it.
185
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:31,137
We're going to.
186
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:32,638
Hello?
187
00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:35,141
Well, go ahead, listen to your half
and see who it is.
188
00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:38,110
Oh, it's Kenny, my press agent.
189
00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:39,395
Tell him I'm plenty mad at him.
190
00:09:39,395 --> 00:09:42,898
Hello, Kenny, Ricky says to tell you
he's plenty mad at you.
191
00:09:42,898 --> 00:09:44,317
Why am I mad at you?
192
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:45,518
Why am I mad at you?
193
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:47,520
Huh! Because you've been promising me
194
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,922
a spread in Half Beat Note magazine
195
00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:50,823
since last February.
196
00:09:50,823 --> 00:09:52,091
Splain that if you can.
197
00:09:52,491 --> 00:09:53,726
Because you've been promising me
198
00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:55,728
a spread in Half Beat magazine
199
00:09:55,728 --> 00:09:56,529
since last Febriary.
200
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:57,964
Splain that if you can.
201
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,302
Oh.
202
00:10:03,302 --> 00:10:04,103
Oh.
203
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:04,920
Oh.
204
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:05,921
I see.
205
00:10:05,921 --> 00:10:07,423
I see.
206
00:10:07,423 --> 00:10:09,241
They're gonna do the next one on me.
207
00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:11,477
Okay. Well, so long, kid, take it
easy.
208
00:10:11,477 --> 00:10:12,979
So long, kid, take a tease-y.
209
00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:19,819
If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't
believe it.
210
00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:22,571
Well, I saw it and I still don't
believe it.
211
00:10:22,571 --> 00:10:24,073
Come on, Fred, you want some cold
beer?
212
00:10:24,073 --> 00:10:25,574
Yeah, I'd love it.
213
00:10:25,574 --> 00:10:27,576
I think I got some cold chicken
214
00:10:27,576 --> 00:10:29,078
in the icebox, too.
Come on.
215
00:10:29,078 --> 00:10:31,080
Uh-uh-uh, kitchen's on my side,
remember.
216
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,283
You mean I can never go into the
kitchen?
217
00:10:34,283 --> 00:10:37,787
And stand back a little, you're over
the line.
218
00:10:37,787 --> 00:10:39,789
What am I supposed to do, starve to
death?
219
00:10:39,789 --> 00:10:42,508
Oh, I'll toss you a crust of bread
now and then.
220
00:10:42,508 --> 00:10:43,709
Hungry, Ethel?
221
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:44,677
Are you kidding?
222
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:46,679
Come on, we'll have some beer and
cold chicken
223
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:49,181
and we'll toss the bottles and bones
224
00:10:49,181 --> 00:10:50,182
on Ricky's side.
225
00:10:50,182 --> 00:10:51,183
Oh, say, remind me--
226
00:10:51,684 --> 00:10:53,919
I want to show you some bath salts
that I got.
227
00:10:53,919 --> 00:10:54,804
They were on sale.
228
00:10:54,804 --> 00:10:56,305
Oh, show them to me now.
Okay.
229
00:10:56,305 --> 00:10:59,308
Uh-uh-uh, may I see your passport?
230
00:10:59,308 --> 00:11:01,310
I just want to show Ethel
231
00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:02,812
my new bath salts.
232
00:11:02,812 --> 00:11:04,313
Well, I'm terribly sorry,
233
00:11:04,313 --> 00:11:06,315
but the bathroom is on my side.
234
00:11:06,315 --> 00:11:07,767
(guffaws)
235
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:10,119
Do you mean that I can never go
236
00:11:10,119 --> 00:11:11,620
into the bathroom?
237
00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:12,905
That's right.
238
00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:14,407
No more taking a shower,
239
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,908
no more washing your face,
240
00:11:15,908 --> 00:11:18,911
no more doing whatever it is you do
to your hair.
241
00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:20,913
Well, no more food for you.
242
00:11:20,913 --> 00:11:23,416
Okay, we'll see who holds out the
longest.
243
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:26,085
Come back in a couple of weeks,
Ethel,
244
00:11:26,085 --> 00:11:27,687
we'll still be here--
245
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,222
a starving Cuban and a dirty
brunette.
246
00:11:41,317 --> 00:11:44,603
(playing Latin song intro)
247
00:11:48,607 --> 00:11:51,610
Whenever old man trouble makes
trouble arise
248
00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:54,113
Just put a big straw hat over your
eyes
249
00:11:54,613 --> 00:11:57,616
You'll never see the circumstance
making you...
250
00:11:57,616 --> 00:11:59,118
Is this a new number?
251
00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:01,120
It is, Maggie.
252
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,122
Oh, glory be, I've got to see this.
253
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:05,524
Now, don't do it till I get seated.
254
00:12:05,524 --> 00:12:06,375
Okay.
255
00:12:06,375 --> 00:12:08,377
You know, you're my best critic.
256
00:12:08,377 --> 00:12:09,879
Are you ready?
I am.
257
00:12:09,879 --> 00:12:12,381
Whenever old man trouble
258
00:12:12,381 --> 00:12:14,884
Makes trouble arise
259
00:12:14,884 --> 00:12:17,887
Just put a big straw hat over your
eyes
260
00:12:17,887 --> 00:12:20,890
You'll never see the circumstance
making you frown
261
00:12:20,890 --> 00:12:23,893
If you just push your eyes under the
crown.
262
00:12:24,894 --> 00:12:27,396
Life can be a simple thing
263
00:12:27,396 --> 00:12:29,899
A simple thing to laugh and sing
264
00:12:29,899 --> 00:12:33,402
Get yourself a hat of straw and put
it on
265
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:35,187
Don't take it off
266
00:12:35,187 --> 00:12:38,958
And when the landlord tells you the
rent's in arrears
267
00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:40,960
A big straw hat over your ears
268
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,963
You'll never hear the dialogue
tragically grim
269
00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:46,966
If you just push your ear, mm!
Under the brim.
270
00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:48,968
iAgua!
271
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:50,970
iArriba!
272
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,471
Yeah!
273
00:12:52,471 --> 00:13:01,230
(trumpet and clave solo)
274
00:13:01,230 --> 00:13:03,232
Very good, Maggie.
275
00:13:04,233 --> 00:13:07,019
(band resumes playing)
276
00:13:15,027 --> 00:13:16,028
Hey!
277
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:19,932
Hey!
278
00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:21,283
Very good!
279
00:13:21,283 --> 00:13:22,284
(squealing)
280
00:13:22,284 --> 00:13:23,285
Yeah!
281
00:13:28,290 --> 00:13:34,480
Oh... life can be a simple thing
282
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,465
A simple thing
283
00:13:36,465 --> 00:13:39,318
To laugh and sing
284
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:43,472
Get yourself a hat of straw
285
00:13:43,472 --> 00:13:44,974
Put it on...
286
00:13:47,476 --> 00:13:49,195
Don't take it off...
287
00:13:49,195 --> 00:13:50,029
No.
288
00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:54,783
(harp solo)
289
00:13:54,783 --> 00:13:58,287
And... pretty soon
290
00:13:58,287 --> 00:14:00,789
Your troubles will come to an end
291
00:14:00,789 --> 00:14:02,791
Because you will not see
292
00:14:02,791 --> 00:14:04,293
Or hear it, my friend
293
00:14:04,293 --> 00:14:07,796
To visualize permanent sun in the
skies
294
00:14:07,796 --> 00:14:09,798
A big... straw...
295
00:14:09,798 --> 00:14:11,300
Hat... down...
296
00:14:11,300 --> 00:14:14,803
A big straw hat down over your eyes.
297
00:14:14,803 --> 00:14:16,305
Yeah!
298
00:14:18,307 --> 00:14:21,310
(applause)
299
00:14:22,811 --> 00:14:24,313
Well?
300
00:14:24,313 --> 00:14:27,066
Oh, that's wonderful.
301
00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:29,568
Oh, thank you, Maggie, thank you very
much.
302
00:14:29,568 --> 00:14:32,071
I'm sure the pleasure was all mine.
303
00:14:32,071 --> 00:14:33,072
Oh, that's it.
304
00:14:33,072 --> 00:14:34,857
All right, fellows.
305
00:14:34,857 --> 00:14:36,859
All right, take ten.
306
00:14:36,859 --> 00:14:38,360
Take ten.
307
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:42,364
And I mean ten, not half an hour.
308
00:14:43,365 --> 00:14:44,366
Hi, Rick.
309
00:14:44,366 --> 00:14:45,367
Hi, Kenny.
310
00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:46,869
How is this for fast action?
311
00:14:46,869 --> 00:14:47,870
I promised you last night
312
00:14:47,870 --> 00:14:49,872
you were going to get the next
magazine spread.
313
00:14:49,872 --> 00:14:52,391
Meet the photographer who's going to
shoot it, Jim White.
314
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:53,709
Hello, Jim.
315
00:14:53,709 --> 00:14:55,210
Hello, Ricky.
316
00:14:55,210 --> 00:14:56,712
I'd like to shoot those pictures
tonight.
317
00:14:56,712 --> 00:14:58,213
All right, I think tonight will be
wonderful.
318
00:14:58,213 --> 00:14:59,965
You should get very good stuff here
tonight.
319
00:14:59,965 --> 00:15:01,467
Yeah, and I'll tell you something
else
320
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:02,368
I'd like to do, Ricky--
321
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:03,969
some pictures of your home life.
322
00:15:03,969 --> 00:15:04,770
Oh, sure.
323
00:15:04,770 --> 00:15:06,605
What kind of a place have you got?
324
00:15:06,605 --> 00:15:07,940
Well, I have a little apartment
325
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,692
in a reconverted brownstone.
326
00:15:09,692 --> 00:15:12,478
Say, I'd better call the wife and
tell her you're coming.
327
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:13,946
Give her a little warning, eh?
328
00:15:15,731 --> 00:15:17,483
Well, to tell you the truth, James,
329
00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:19,551
she doesn't need any warning.
330
00:15:19,551 --> 00:15:22,454
She's the best little housekeeper you
ever saw.
331
00:15:22,454 --> 00:15:25,040
Everything is always as neat as a
pin.
332
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,041
Well, we got to go.
333
00:15:26,041 --> 00:15:27,326
Jim'll meet you here after rehearsal
334
00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:28,994
you can take him out to the house.
335
00:15:28,994 --> 00:15:29,995
Okay, I'll see you then.
336
00:15:29,995 --> 00:15:30,996
Fine.
Bye.
337
00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:42,074
Oh, you don't say, Marge, is that so?
338
00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:43,275
Really?
339
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,010
Well, it's certainly good
340
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:48,013
to get the other side of the story
for a change.
341
00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:51,016
Hey, do you know we've been gabbing
for 45 minutes?
342
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:53,886
Yeah, well, let's get together next
week
343
00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:55,270
and have a real talk.
344
00:15:55,270 --> 00:15:56,772
Okay, dear, bye.
345
00:15:56,772 --> 00:15:57,773
Hi.
346
00:15:57,773 --> 00:15:58,774
Oh, hi, Ethel.
347
00:15:58,774 --> 00:15:59,775
Welcome to tobacco road.
348
00:15:59,775 --> 00:16:01,760
How did Ricky get out of the house
this morning
349
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:02,962
without crossing the line?
350
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,196
Through the bedroom window?
351
00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:05,914
No, he used the back door.
352
00:16:05,914 --> 00:16:07,933
We made a deal: I swapped him kitchen
privileges
353
00:16:07,933 --> 00:16:09,168
for bathroom rights.
354
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:12,788
Lucy, how long can this go on?
355
00:16:12,788 --> 00:16:13,789
Oh, it's over now.
356
00:16:13,789 --> 00:16:14,790
I'm going to clean up
357
00:16:14,790 --> 00:16:16,792
the whole house this afternoon.
358
00:16:16,792 --> 00:16:17,793
Well, thank goodness.
359
00:16:17,793 --> 00:16:18,794
Oh, I forgot what I came up for.
360
00:16:18,794 --> 00:16:20,796
Ricky just called me.
Your line was busy.
361
00:16:20,796 --> 00:16:22,297
What'd he want?
362
00:16:22,297 --> 00:16:23,298
He said to tell you he's bringing
363
00:16:23,298 --> 00:16:25,801
a magazine photographer home tonight
to take some pictures,
364
00:16:25,801 --> 00:16:28,804
and he wants you to clean up the
house perfectly-- all of it.
365
00:16:28,804 --> 00:16:30,305
Oh, he won't keep it clean for me,
366
00:16:30,806 --> 00:16:32,307
but when it's important for him,
367
00:16:32,307 --> 00:16:34,810
he wants the whole house cleaned up
perfectly-- all of it.
368
00:16:34,810 --> 00:16:36,311
Let's face it, he's a man.
369
00:16:36,311 --> 00:16:37,963
Serve him right if I left it
370
00:16:37,963 --> 00:16:39,164
just the way it is.
371
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,432
Yeah.
372
00:16:40,432 --> 00:16:41,633
Hey, I'll do it.
373
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:43,068
Oh, Lucy, you wouldn't.
374
00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:44,570
Yes, I would.
375
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:45,571
What about that photographer?
376
00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:47,072
Oh, that doesn't matter.
377
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:48,874
It's just for that silly musician's
magazine.
378
00:16:48,874 --> 00:16:50,292
Nobody ever reads it anyway.
379
00:16:50,292 --> 00:16:51,293
And as soon as I make my point
380
00:16:51,794 --> 00:16:52,644
I'll tell him it's a gag.
381
00:16:52,644 --> 00:16:54,046
(laughs)
382
00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:56,749
And as long as it's a gag, I might as
well go whole hog.
383
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:57,549
Ethel, will you help me?
384
00:16:57,549 --> 00:16:59,001
Sure, what do you want me to do?
385
00:16:59,001 --> 00:17:01,503
Well, listen, when Ricky comes home
with that photographer,
386
00:17:01,503 --> 00:17:03,005
we'll have the whole place...
387
00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:11,814
Well, here we are, Jim...
388
00:17:20,823 --> 00:17:22,508
What's all this?
389
00:17:22,508 --> 00:17:24,693
Is this your apartment?
390
00:17:24,693 --> 00:17:27,279
Well, it sure doesn't look anything
like the...
391
00:17:27,279 --> 00:17:28,530
(clanging)
392
00:17:32,034 --> 00:17:33,535
Well, what do you know, Jim?
393
00:17:33,535 --> 00:17:35,788
We got into the wrong apartment after
all.
394
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:36,789
Let's get out of here.
395
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:39,291
Hi, Ricky honey.
396
00:17:55,974 --> 00:17:57,476
Say...
397
00:17:58,977 --> 00:18:00,479
Say!
398
00:18:00,479 --> 00:18:01,480
What gives here?
399
00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:03,482
Do you know who this is?
400
00:18:03,482 --> 00:18:06,485
I don't even know what it is.
401
00:18:07,986 --> 00:18:10,489
Get me a stick and I'll kill it.
402
00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:14,893
(as hillbilly): Aren't you going to
introduce your bitty, bitty bride?
403
00:18:15,794 --> 00:18:17,296
Lucy, I swear...
404
00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:18,797
Is this your wife?
405
00:18:18,797 --> 00:18:21,100
Why, sure!
406
00:18:25,387 --> 00:18:26,889
Yes, Jim.
407
00:18:26,889 --> 00:18:28,390
This is my wife.
408
00:18:28,390 --> 00:18:29,892
Lucy, meet Jim White.
409
00:18:29,892 --> 00:18:31,894
Pleased to meet ya.
410
00:18:31,894 --> 00:18:34,246
Whoa! I got an itch.
411
00:18:41,019 --> 00:18:43,822
(groans): Ah...
412
00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:45,324
Lucy...
413
00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:47,326
Lucy, whatever you're up to, cut it
out.
414
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:48,327
What's the matter?
415
00:18:48,327 --> 00:18:49,328
What's the matter?
416
00:18:49,328 --> 00:18:50,829
Look at the way this place looks!
417
00:18:50,829 --> 00:18:52,831
Yeah, it looks pretty good, don't it?
418
00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:55,834
You should have seen it 'fore I
cleaned it up.
419
00:18:59,087 --> 00:19:00,589
It's a regular pigpen!
420
00:19:00,589 --> 00:19:04,092
Oh, it ain't a regular one, but it'll
do.
421
00:19:05,594 --> 00:19:08,096
You know we don't keep pigs in here--
422
00:19:08,096 --> 00:19:09,598
just chickens!
423
00:19:09,598 --> 00:19:11,099
Jim, Jim, please, please.
424
00:19:11,099 --> 00:19:13,602
Please, Jim, now, look, believe me
425
00:19:13,602 --> 00:19:16,104
this place has never looked like this
before in my whole life
426
00:19:16,104 --> 00:19:18,607
and... and there isn't a chicken
427
00:19:18,607 --> 00:19:19,992
within ten miles of here!
428
00:19:21,393 --> 00:19:25,397
Boy, she's flying high tonight, ain't
she!
429
00:19:25,397 --> 00:19:26,899
Oh, Lucy, Lucy...
430
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:28,400
Lucy, please, Lucy,
431
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,402
come on, let's clean it up.
432
00:19:30,402 --> 00:19:34,406
Here, chick, chick, chick, chick,
chick, chick.
433
00:19:34,406 --> 00:19:35,908
Honey...
434
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,409
honey, do you realize
435
00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:40,412
that this man is a very important
photographer?
436
00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:41,914
Oh, boy! Take my picture,
437
00:19:42,414 --> 00:19:43,415
will ya, sonny?
438
00:19:43,415 --> 00:19:45,384
I'd be glad to.
439
00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:48,220
Oh, wait a minute, I got to comb my
hair.
440
00:19:52,507 --> 00:19:53,508
There we are.
441
00:19:53,508 --> 00:19:55,010
Ha-ha!
442
00:19:55,010 --> 00:19:55,961
Yeah, boy.
443
00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:57,312
Oh, no.
444
00:19:57,312 --> 00:19:58,313
Ay!
445
00:19:58,313 --> 00:19:59,314
Ah...
446
00:19:59,815 --> 00:20:01,316
Oh, my god.
447
00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:07,606
Ha, it's messy, ain't it?
448
00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:11,360
I got to see if my clothes are dry.
449
00:20:12,611 --> 00:20:13,812
(Ethel screams)
450
00:20:13,812 --> 00:20:15,013
(screams)
451
00:20:16,448 --> 00:20:18,450
Grandma!
452
00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:21,887
You been hangin' there all day?
453
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:22,688
Yep.
454
00:20:22,688 --> 00:20:24,039
Must have been quite a trip
455
00:20:24,039 --> 00:20:25,507
coming through the washing machine.
456
00:20:25,507 --> 00:20:27,292
I didn't mind the washing machine,
457
00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:30,796
but I durn near passed out comin'
through the wringer.
458
00:20:32,514 --> 00:20:35,017
Well, come on, grandma, we're goin'
huntin'.
459
00:20:35,017 --> 00:20:36,518
Gotta bag our supper.
460
00:20:36,518 --> 00:20:37,519
Huntin'? Huntin'!
461
00:20:38,020 --> 00:20:39,521
(whoops)
462
00:20:39,521 --> 00:20:41,023
Get ready, get ready, get ready
463
00:20:41,523 --> 00:20:42,524
A-huntin' we will go
464
00:20:43,025 --> 00:20:44,526
A-huntin' we will go
465
00:20:44,526 --> 00:20:46,178
Hi-ho dee-da-dee-die
466
00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:47,846
A-huntin' we will go.
467
00:20:47,846 --> 00:20:49,681
A-huntin' we will go
468
00:20:49,681 --> 00:20:51,984
A-huntin' we will go...
469
00:21:00,709 --> 00:21:02,210
Jim, please believe me--
470
00:21:02,210 --> 00:21:03,996
I don't know what's going on here.
471
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:06,498
I've seen her do strange things
before
472
00:21:06,498 --> 00:21:09,968
but this time I think she really
snapped her cap.
473
00:21:09,968 --> 00:21:11,470
She says she's going hunting.
474
00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:12,971
Hunting.
Hunting in the bedroom.
475
00:21:12,971 --> 00:21:13,972
How do you like that.
476
00:21:13,972 --> 00:21:15,807
That's the most ridiculous thing...
477
00:21:15,807 --> 00:21:17,059
(gunshots)
478
00:21:17,059 --> 00:21:18,910
What is that?!
479
00:21:18,910 --> 00:21:20,345
(exclaiming)
480
00:21:20,345 --> 00:21:23,982
A-hunting we will go, a-hunting we
will go
481
00:21:23,982 --> 00:21:26,485
And a-hunting we will go.
482
00:21:29,821 --> 00:21:31,423
ETHEL: Whew!
483
00:21:31,423 --> 00:21:34,609
(ululating like Tarzan)
484
00:21:40,282 --> 00:21:43,835
This ought to give your musician
fellers a laugh, huh?
485
00:21:43,835 --> 00:21:46,038
What do you mean, musician fellows?
486
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:48,757
Well, who else reads your durn
magazine but musician fellers?
487
00:21:48,757 --> 00:21:50,258
Yeah.
488
00:21:50,258 --> 00:21:51,076
Lucy...
489
00:21:51,076 --> 00:21:52,277
Huh?
490
00:21:52,277 --> 00:21:54,713
This man is not from Half Beat
magazine.
491
00:21:54,713 --> 00:21:55,714
He ain't?
492
00:21:55,714 --> 00:21:56,715
No, I'm from
493
00:21:56,715 --> 00:21:57,716
Look magazine.
494
00:21:57,716 --> 00:22:00,218
Ewwwww...
495
00:22:05,357 --> 00:22:07,726
(sobbing)
496
00:22:07,726 --> 00:22:08,727
Hi, Lucy.
497
00:22:08,727 --> 00:22:10,228
(crying)
498
00:22:10,228 --> 00:22:11,730
Honey, what's the matter?
499
00:22:12,230 --> 00:22:14,783
Look magazine came out today.
500
00:22:14,783 --> 00:22:16,785
Oh, did they do the spread on me?
501
00:22:16,785 --> 00:22:17,786
How did it look?
502
00:22:17,786 --> 00:22:19,788
Oh, it was wonderful for you.
503
00:22:19,788 --> 00:22:22,290
They showed the nightclub and the
band
504
00:22:22,290 --> 00:22:23,792
and the shots of you singing.
505
00:22:23,792 --> 00:22:25,293
(wails)
506
00:22:25,293 --> 00:22:26,795
Oh, honey, what are you crying about?
507
00:22:26,795 --> 00:22:27,796
Jim White promised me
508
00:22:27,796 --> 00:22:29,798
he wouldn't use a single picture of
you
509
00:22:29,798 --> 00:22:30,799
in the article.
510
00:22:30,799 --> 00:22:33,969
No, I wasn't in the article.
511
00:22:33,969 --> 00:22:35,971
I made the cover.
512
00:22:45,981 --> 00:22:47,632
(I Love Lucy theme music plays)
513
00:22:47,632 --> 00:22:51,653
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