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1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:04,020
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
2
00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:24,574
More coffee, dear?
3
00:00:26,042 --> 00:00:28,962
Ricky, you want some more coffee?
4
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,702
Are your eggs all right, dear?
5
00:00:37,337 --> 00:00:39,622
Are your eggs...
6
00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:40,874
"How are your eggs, Lucy?"
7
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,625
"Oh, they're just fine, thank you."
8
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:46,046
"Would you care for some more
coffee?"
9
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:46,846
"Oh, no, thanks.
10
00:00:46,846 --> 00:00:47,847
It's just right, thank you."
11
00:00:47,847 --> 00:00:48,848
"You're a wonderful cook."
12
00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:50,300
"Oh! Do you really think so?
13
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,685
Oh, thank you."
14
00:00:52,685 --> 00:00:54,421
"Would you care for sugar in your
coffee?"
15
00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:56,272
"Oh, well, thank you, don't mind if I
do."
16
00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:02,996
You are back there, aren't you?
17
00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:40,400
(knocking at door)
18
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,001
Answer it, dear.
19
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:45,605
(knocking continues)
20
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:56,549
Good morning, is the lady of the
house in?
21
00:01:56,549 --> 00:01:57,951
Luce...!
22
00:02:00,937 --> 00:02:02,338
What are you doing out there?
23
00:02:02,338 --> 00:02:04,624
The least you could do is stay here
24
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,626
and have breakfast with your husband
25
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,428
in the morning.
26
00:02:10,563 --> 00:02:13,233
Oh, I only got ten minutes to get to
rehearsal.
27
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:15,018
Bye, honey.
I'll see you for dinner.
28
00:02:31,868 --> 00:02:33,086
Morning, Lucy.
29
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:34,404
(angrily): Hello!
30
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:38,408
How are things?
31
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,910
Just fine.
32
00:02:59,896 --> 00:03:02,398
What's the matter, aren't you hungry?
33
00:03:02,398 --> 00:03:04,184
Somebody's disposition
34
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:07,153
got up on the wrong side of the bed
this morning.
35
00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:09,322
Did you and Ricky have words?
36
00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:11,824
We had words all right, but they were
all mine.
37
00:03:11,824 --> 00:03:14,327
I'm sick and tired of eating
breakfast
38
00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:15,828
opposite a newspaper.
39
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:24,087
Does Ricky hide behind his newspaper
in the morning?
40
00:03:24,087 --> 00:03:25,588
He certainly does!
41
00:03:25,588 --> 00:03:26,539
Does he ignore you
42
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,541
and refuse to answer questions?
43
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:29,342
Exactly.
44
00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:32,478
Well, this is a case for Dr.
Humphries.
45
00:03:32,478 --> 00:03:33,930
Dr. Who-phries?
46
00:03:33,930 --> 00:03:35,782
Dr. Humphries-- he just wrote a book
47
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:38,284
called How to Keep the Honeymoon From
Ending.
48
00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:39,586
Is that a "Book of the Week"
selection?
49
00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:41,287
Uh-huh.
We have that book.
50
00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:42,956
Well, you should read it.
51
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,758
Why? What could Dr. Humphries
possibly know about Ricky?
52
00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:46,960
I'll show you.
53
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,194
Where's the book?
54
00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:49,996
Over there on the desk, I guess.
55
00:03:49,996 --> 00:03:51,781
Well, now... let's see.
56
00:03:51,781 --> 00:03:56,286
Here: "Chapter One: When Love is on
the Wane.
57
00:03:56,286 --> 00:03:57,287
"Often after the first years of
marriage,
58
00:03:57,287 --> 00:03:59,789
"the husband seems to lose interest
in the wife.
59
00:03:59,789 --> 00:04:02,342
"He reads the paper at the breakfast
table.
60
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:04,744
"He doesn't answer when you talk to
him.
61
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,846
"In short, he doesn't seem
62
00:04:06,846 --> 00:04:08,881
to know you are alive."
63
00:04:08,881 --> 00:04:12,986
I wonder where Dr. Humphries ever met
Ricky.
64
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,189
"More than likely,
65
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:19,342
this unfortunate condition is the
fault of the wife."
66
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:20,643
What?!
67
00:04:21,644 --> 00:04:24,130
That's a lot of nonsense.
68
00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:26,899
"Contrary to what some wives may
think,
69
00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:28,901
this is not a lot of nonsense."
70
00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:31,704
Well.
71
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,741
"Research shows that this condition
starts
72
00:04:34,741 --> 00:04:36,709
"when the wife becomes careless
73
00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:38,311
"about her appearance.
74
00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:40,530
"Let her ask herself these questions:
75
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,231
"Does she come to breakfast
76
00:04:42,231 --> 00:04:44,250
with her hair in curlers?"
77
00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:50,957
"Is she sloppy in her attire?"
78
00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:02,669
"Does she forget to make up her
face?"
79
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:07,807
"Is the answer to these questions
'Yes'?
80
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,475
"Then it is time
81
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,878
for the wife to do something about
it."
82
00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:13,079
What?
83
00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:15,214
"Dress up for your husband at
breakfast.
84
00:05:15,214 --> 00:05:16,949
"Be glamorous and sophisticated.
85
00:05:16,949 --> 00:05:18,451
"Make yourself so attractive,
86
00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:21,054
"he not only will pay attention to
you during breakfast,
87
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,623
he won't even want to leave for the
office."
88
00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:24,524
I'll do it.
89
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:26,909
Tomorrow morning, I'll be simply
dazzling.
90
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:53,886
Good morning, Ricky darling.
91
00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:05,031
More coffee, Ricky darling?
92
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:09,252
Sugar, dear?
93
00:06:11,421 --> 00:06:12,839
Cream?
94
00:06:19,345 --> 00:06:22,448
Jam on your toast, sweetheart?
95
00:06:25,284 --> 00:06:27,637
I want a divorce.
96
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,939
That's nice, dear.
97
00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:45,204
Fuego! Fuego! Fuego!
98
00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:46,205
Lucy, get out!
99
00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:49,208
Fire! Fire!
100
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:54,714
What's the matter with you?
101
00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:56,215
You crazy or something?
102
00:06:56,215 --> 00:06:57,717
Look at me.
103
00:06:59,218 --> 00:07:00,219
Well?
104
00:07:00,219 --> 00:07:01,220
Well?
105
00:07:03,222 --> 00:07:05,224
You don't look so good.
106
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,978
Let me see your tongue.
107
00:07:08,978 --> 00:07:10,480
Say "Ah."
108
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,165
Ah.
109
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,167
I think you better go and see a
doctor.
110
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,102
There's nothing the matter with me.
111
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,437
Are you sure?
112
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,404
Yes, I'm sure.
113
00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:19,906
Well, thank goodness.
114
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:22,191
Good-bye, sweetheart.
Got to go.
115
00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:29,198
But Ricky...
116
00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:33,202
Oh, Ethel and that stale book of
hers.
117
00:07:42,678 --> 00:07:44,180
Hello.
118
00:07:44,180 --> 00:07:46,799
Hello, Ethel, what you doing?
119
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:49,051
I'm eating a donut.
120
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:52,772
Well, come on up here and have coffee
with me, will you?
121
00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:55,575
What are you talking about?
122
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:59,479
I can't understand you; will you talk
into the phone?
123
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,480
What?
124
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,983
Oh, hi, Ethel, I'll be with you in a
minute.
125
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:07,403
I got to hang up now, Ethel, Ethel's
here.
126
00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:09,906
(screams)
127
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,909
I've been here all along.
128
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:14,410
Oh.
129
00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:17,463
Gee, you look great.
130
00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:18,965
Thank you.
131
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:20,967
Well, is everything okey-dokey?
132
00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:23,469
No, everything is inky-stinky.
133
00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:24,470
What happened?
134
00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:26,973
Nothing! He didn't even notice me.
135
00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:27,974
Oh, I'm sorry.
136
00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:29,976
I can't imagine why it didn't work.
137
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:32,762
Well, let's see what Dr. Humphries
has to say.
138
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:35,264
Oh, forget that tired Dr. Humphries.
139
00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:36,766
"Be glamorous in the morning.
140
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,267
"Be sophisticated.
141
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:39,769
This method cannot fail."
142
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:40,770
Ha! Ha!
143
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:41,771
Now, just a minute.
144
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,773
Let's look at chapter two.
145
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,775
"If the method in chapter one
fails--"
146
00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:47,276
And it did.
147
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:49,695
"If the method in chapter one fails,
148
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:51,697
you should next try the 'Be a Pal'
system."
149
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,950
"'Be a Pal' system"?
150
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,451
"Share your husband's interests.
151
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,370
"Join in his hobbies.
152
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,971
"If he hunts, take up hunting.
153
00:08:58,971 --> 00:09:00,723
"If he fishes, take up fishing.
154
00:09:00,723 --> 00:09:01,707
If he golfs, take up golfing."
155
00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:05,945
Ricky plays poker-- I'll have to take
up poking.
156
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,964
Hey, Ricky's playing tonight, isn't
he?
157
00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:10,082
Yeah, with Fred and the boys
158
00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:11,284
down in our apartment.
159
00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:13,102
I'm joining that game.
160
00:09:13,102 --> 00:09:14,103
Attagirl.
161
00:09:14,103 --> 00:09:15,104
Oh, wait a minute.
162
00:09:15,104 --> 00:09:16,989
I don't know how to play poker.
163
00:09:16,989 --> 00:09:19,592
So what? I can teach you in a couple
of hours.
164
00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:21,027
Okay, how do we start?
165
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:23,529
Well, it's a lot like hearts,
166
00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:25,014
only you bet
167
00:09:25,014 --> 00:09:27,783
and there isn't any old maid.
168
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,844
Aces and tens.
169
00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:40,913
Hold it, Curly.
170
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:43,049
Three ladies.
171
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,002
Your deal, Charlie.
172
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:47,003
Hiya, fellas.
173
00:09:54,810 --> 00:09:56,812
Hiya, Charlie.
Hiya, Hank.
174
00:09:56,812 --> 00:09:58,314
Hello.
175
00:09:58,314 --> 00:09:59,815
Lucy, what's going on?
176
00:09:59,815 --> 00:10:02,318
Well, thought I'd join the game, if
you guys don't mind.
177
00:10:02,818 --> 00:10:03,819
CHARLIE: Well...
178
00:10:03,819 --> 00:10:05,321
What goes?
179
00:10:05,321 --> 00:10:06,322
Look, honey, we'd love to play with
you,
180
00:10:06,322 --> 00:10:07,823
but you don't know how to play poker.
181
00:10:07,823 --> 00:10:08,824
Oh, yes, I do.
182
00:10:08,824 --> 00:10:10,826
Ethel taught me this afternoon.
183
00:10:10,826 --> 00:10:12,328
Oh, no!
184
00:10:13,329 --> 00:10:14,947
Honey, please, now, we're trying...
185
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,666
I'll just sit right in here.
186
00:10:16,666 --> 00:10:18,668
Could you move over a bit, Hank?
187
00:10:18,668 --> 00:10:19,669
Thanks a lot.
Thank you.
188
00:10:21,671 --> 00:10:23,673
You mind, Hank?
189
00:10:23,673 --> 00:10:26,125
Not really.
190
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,126
You fellas?
191
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:28,527
I guess not.
192
00:10:28,527 --> 00:10:29,879
Well, go on.
193
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:32,164
Deal the cards, Charlie.
Deal 'em!
194
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:37,720
I don't have any of those little
round things.
195
00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:41,223
Here, I'll finance you.
196
00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:42,224
Oh, is this money?
197
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:43,726
Ooh!
198
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,231
Ooh! A queen.
199
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,235
There's her sister.
200
00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:55,738
Honey, you're supposed
201
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,239
to keep your cards a secret.
202
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:58,240
Oh.
203
00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,725
Ooh!
204
00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:00,926
What'd you get, Fred?
What'd you get?
205
00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:02,294
Well, I shouldn't talk,
206
00:11:02,294 --> 00:11:05,097
but you can tell your two Andrews
Sisters
207
00:11:05,097 --> 00:11:06,999
not to wait up for Laverne.
208
00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:12,805
I'll open for two.
209
00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:14,306
I'm in.
210
00:11:16,308 --> 00:11:17,810
(clears throat)
211
00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:20,813
Honey, if you want to stay in the
pot,
212
00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:22,815
you've got to put in two chips.
213
00:11:22,815 --> 00:11:24,316
Oh, oh.
214
00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:30,606
Cards?
215
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:31,607
Two.
216
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:32,608
Two.
217
00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:34,110
Three for me, please.
218
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,112
Three.
219
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,965
(clears throat)
220
00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:41,867
How many cards you want, Lucy?
221
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,869
Oh, do I get more?
222
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:44,870
Honey, you've got
223
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:46,872
to get rid of your worst cards
224
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:48,374
in order to get new ones.
225
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:51,377
Oh, my!
This is a problem.
226
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:56,882
Honey, please, you're holding up the
game.
227
00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:57,883
Well, I can't decide
228
00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,919
whether to throw away my two queens
229
00:12:00,319 --> 00:12:01,520
or my three kings.
230
00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:09,979
What are you doing that for?
231
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:12,264
'Cause as much as we hate to admit
it, you won.
232
00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:14,150
I did?
233
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,651
Hey, this is fun.
234
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:18,654
You deal, Hank.
235
00:12:18,654 --> 00:12:20,656
I think I'll deal this one, fellas.
236
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:22,158
Lucy, it's his...
237
00:12:32,885 --> 00:12:34,887
I'll fix it.
238
00:12:35,888 --> 00:12:37,389
You got your five?
Yeah.
239
00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:38,891
I got my five.
240
00:12:38,891 --> 00:12:40,392
Everybody got their cards?
241
00:12:40,392 --> 00:12:41,894
Thank you.
242
00:12:49,685 --> 00:12:51,187
There.
243
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,689
I open for two.
244
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:55,941
I'm in.
245
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:57,443
I'll stay.
246
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:58,944
Oh, excuse me.
247
00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:00,446
I'm in.
248
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,948
(clears throat)
249
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:04,450
Oh.
250
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:09,955
Cards, honey.
Cards, please.
251
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:11,457
Oh.
252
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,459
No, the other way around, dear.
253
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:14,460
I'm fine.
254
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,796
You look tired.
255
00:13:19,682 --> 00:13:20,683
Two.
256
00:13:23,686 --> 00:13:25,187
Two.
257
00:13:26,689 --> 00:13:28,691
Three for me, please.
258
00:13:31,694 --> 00:13:33,696
I'll take four.
259
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,501
(clears throat)
260
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:58,504
I bet three.
261
00:13:58,504 --> 00:13:59,722
I'm out.
262
00:13:59,722 --> 00:14:00,723
Me, too.
263
00:14:00,723 --> 00:14:02,808
I'm folding.
264
00:14:02,808 --> 00:14:05,427
How about you, Peeping Tom?
265
00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:07,680
Well, I'll bet five.
266
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,682
Oh, you're raising me?
267
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:10,683
I am?
268
00:14:12,484 --> 00:14:15,437
There's your raise, and I'll raise
you two.
269
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:19,191
Well, there's your raise, and I'll
raise you three.
270
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:23,445
There's your raise, and I'll raise
you four.
271
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:27,433
Well, there's your raise, and I'll
raise you...
272
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:28,250
Ricky?
273
00:14:28,751 --> 00:14:29,752
What?
274
00:14:29,752 --> 00:14:31,871
Run over it for me, will you?
275
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,122
Run over what?
276
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,591
You know, what beats what.
277
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,379
Two pairs beat a pair.
278
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,132
Go on.
279
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,935
Three of a kind beats two pair.
280
00:14:45,935 --> 00:14:46,936
Go on.
281
00:14:46,936 --> 00:14:48,938
MEN: A straight beats three of a
kind.
282
00:14:48,938 --> 00:14:50,439
Go on.
283
00:14:50,439 --> 00:14:52,725
A flush beats a straight.
284
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:53,726
Go on.
285
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,228
A full house beats a flush.
286
00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:57,730
Go on.
287
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,732
Four of a kind beats a full house.
288
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,734
That's the one!
289
00:15:06,956 --> 00:15:08,240
They're all yours.
290
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,242
Whee!
291
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,545
Oh, boy.
292
00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:15,547
Honey, just out of curiosity
293
00:15:15,547 --> 00:15:17,549
what were your four of a kind?
294
00:15:17,549 --> 00:15:18,951
I didn't have four of a kind,
295
00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:20,336
I had a pair.
296
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,838
(groans)
297
00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:25,841
Sure... see?
Two nines.
298
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:28,844
Lucy?
299
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:29,845
Yeah.
300
00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:30,846
This one is a nine...
301
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:31,847
Uh-huh.
302
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,849
And this one is a six.
303
00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:35,351
(groans)
304
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:37,853
Oh, what do you know about that.
305
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:40,356
I didn't even have a pair.
306
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:42,358
Isn't that funny?
307
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:45,160
Gee, this is fun.
308
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,162
Let's play a wild game.
309
00:15:47,162 --> 00:15:49,665
Everything wild but the old maid.
310
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,509
Oh, forget that book, will you?
311
00:16:00,509 --> 00:16:01,460
As far as I'm concerned,
312
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:03,495
Dr. Humphries can go jump-phrey.
313
00:16:03,495 --> 00:16:05,497
This morning, Ricky didn't even speak
to me.
314
00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:07,967
He hasn't been speaking to you in the
morning for weeks.
315
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,469
Well, it was the way he didn't speak
to me.
316
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,388
And Dr. Humphries knows why.
317
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:15,024
"Chapter three: One thing to remember
318
00:16:15,024 --> 00:16:17,810
"about the 'Be a Pal' system in
chapter two,
319
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,212
"if you play games with your husband
320
00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:21,814
be sure not to beat him."
321
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,783
Now he tells me.
322
00:16:24,783 --> 00:16:26,385
"If methods one and two have failed,
323
00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:28,454
"there is one last desperate measure.
324
00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:30,456
I suggest that the wife become a
mother."
325
00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:34,360
I suggest he mind his own business.
326
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:35,160
Now, let me finish.
327
00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:36,762
"Most men marry a woman
328
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:38,764
"that reminds them of their mother.
329
00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:40,366
"This is because most men
330
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:41,567
"have happy memories
331
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:43,168
"of their carefree childhood.
332
00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:46,372
So mother your husband; baby him."
333
00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:48,807
Treat Ricky like a baby?
334
00:16:48,807 --> 00:16:50,809
"And surround him with things
335
00:16:50,809 --> 00:16:52,811
that will remind him of his boyhood."
336
00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:58,600
I don't think I know
337
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,103
how to fold one of these things.
338
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:02,604
He doesn't mean that.
339
00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:03,605
Oh.
340
00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:05,924
You know, I wouldn't be surprised
341
00:17:05,924 --> 00:17:09,228
if your whole trouble is that Ricky
misses Cuba.
342
00:17:09,228 --> 00:17:11,230
Oh, Ethel, that's ridiculous.
343
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:12,164
No, it isn't.
344
00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:14,066
You should fix this place up
345
00:17:14,066 --> 00:17:15,267
to remind him
346
00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:16,985
of his happy childhood in Cuba.
347
00:17:16,985 --> 00:17:18,737
What do you want me to do,
348
00:17:18,737 --> 00:17:20,739
plant a banana tree in the kitchen?
349
00:17:20,739 --> 00:17:22,741
You'll have to be more drastic than
that.
350
00:17:22,741 --> 00:17:24,777
This time, you really got to shock
him.
351
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:25,711
You're right.
352
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:26,962
This time, he'll notice me
353
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:28,614
or I'll know the reason why.
354
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:29,882
Now, what can we do?
355
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,300
Well, what do you know about his
childhood?
356
00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:32,985
Well, not very much.
357
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,054
He had five brothers, and his mother
358
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,655
was a great singer and dancer.
359
00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:37,523
Perfect!
360
00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:38,824
What do you mean, perfect?
361
00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:39,625
I couldn't remind him of his mother.
362
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,226
As a dancer, I got two left feet,
363
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:43,228
and as a singer, I sound like a bull
moose
364
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:46,031
pulling his foot out of the mud.
365
00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:47,866
So what? You've got a record player,
haven't you?
366
00:17:47,866 --> 00:17:49,118
Yeah.
367
00:17:49,118 --> 00:17:51,270
Well, we'll buy a record
368
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:53,772
and I'll play it here in the kitchen
369
00:17:53,772 --> 00:17:55,541
while you pretend to...
370
00:17:55,541 --> 00:17:56,875
While I pretend to...
371
00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:56,875
That's it.
372
00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:58,877
Aha!
373
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,075
Hey, amigo...
374
00:18:30,075 --> 00:18:32,177
Señor?
375
00:18:32,177 --> 00:18:33,378
Clem?
376
00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:42,688
(squeals)
377
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:43,889
(screams)
378
00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:47,559
¿Que paso?
379
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:48,760
Oh, I beg your pardon.
380
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,213
I must be in the wrong apartment.
381
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:52,931
Oh, no, señor.
382
00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:55,100
This is it, your apartment.
383
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:58,720
Your mama, he will be here in a
momento.
384
00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:13,569
(phonograph playing Brazilian tune)
385
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,654
Olé!
386
00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:23,245
(lip-synchs to Portuguese lyrics)
387
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:02,201
(Ethel lip-synchs background chorus)
388
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:10,292
(record skips)
389
00:20:17,099 --> 00:20:23,388
(record speeds up)
390
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:27,893
(record plays even faster)
391
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,346
(record slows down)
392
00:20:47,346 --> 00:20:49,748
(record slows to complete stop)
393
00:20:58,557 --> 00:21:01,893
How are you, my little cucaracha?
394
00:21:01,893 --> 00:21:06,798
How you like the hacienda, eh?
395
00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:09,151
Lucy, have you gone off your rocker?
396
00:21:09,151 --> 00:21:13,155
Pedro, Pablo, Chucho, Jojosisi,
Jose-- la, la!
397
00:21:13,622 --> 00:21:15,574
Your brother is home.
398
00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:17,743
(boys squeal)
399
00:21:19,244 --> 00:21:22,164
RICKY: Wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute!
400
00:21:24,166 --> 00:21:25,667
Lucy, what's going on?
401
00:21:25,667 --> 00:21:27,169
We have big fiesta--
402
00:21:27,169 --> 00:21:30,756
frijoles, taco, enchilada, tamale,
huevos ranchitas,
403
00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:32,758
guacamole and wacko taco.
404
00:21:32,758 --> 00:21:34,192
Big fiesta!
405
00:21:34,192 --> 00:21:35,427
BOYS: Yay!
406
00:21:35,827 --> 00:21:37,629
Big fiesta!
407
00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:41,099
Lucy, please, would you mind telling
me what's going on?
408
00:21:41,099 --> 00:21:42,601
We make everything nice
409
00:21:42,601 --> 00:21:44,736
like when you little boy in Cuba.
410
00:21:44,736 --> 00:21:46,104
You like?
411
00:21:46,104 --> 00:21:47,306
No, I don't.
412
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,558
Oh, you don't?
413
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:52,611
Now, look, would you please explain
to me
414
00:21:52,611 --> 00:21:55,113
what is the idea of all this?
415
00:21:55,113 --> 00:21:57,816
Well, I thought you were getting
tired of me
416
00:21:57,816 --> 00:21:59,818
and if our home reminded you of Cuba
417
00:21:59,818 --> 00:22:01,320
you might like me better.
418
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,822
Oh, honey.
419
00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:05,324
Oh, Lucy darling.
420
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,326
If I wanted things Cuban,
421
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,094
I'd have stayed in Havana.
422
00:22:09,094 --> 00:22:11,163
That's the reason I married you,
423
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,798
because you're so different
424
00:22:12,798 --> 00:22:14,399
from anyone I've known in Cuba.
425
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,568
Who did you know in Cuba?
426
00:22:17,386 --> 00:22:19,388
Come here.
427
00:22:24,876 --> 00:22:27,346
("I Love Lucy" theme music playing)
428
00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:33,602
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