Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,740 --> 00:00:05,000
Hurry,
hurry, sit down, come in!
2
00:00:05,010 --> 00:00:07,330
I have the most fantastic news!
3
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,000
What, did
Bub finally die?
4
00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:10,270
Who's Bub?
5
00:00:10,270 --> 00:00:12,740
My mother, and before
you make some snotty comment,
6
00:00:12,740 --> 00:00:15,900
yes I have a mother, do you
want to hear my news or not?!
7
00:00:15,910 --> 00:00:18,500
Yeah, if you're done
yelling at me for no reason.
8
00:00:18,510 --> 00:00:23,440
Last night, an Air Force B-52
bomber crashed off the coast of Bermuda!
9
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:26,500
- What? That's bad news!
- Well it's about frickin time!
10
00:00:26,730 --> 00:00:29,880
What, we're we not bombing them in
advance of an amphibious invasion?
11
00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:31,180
Why would we invade.
12
00:00:31,180 --> 00:00:32,310
Bermuda.
13
00:00:32,310 --> 00:00:35,710
Ah, Bermuda. I
was thinking Bahamas.
14
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:36,550
Same question.
15
00:00:36,550 --> 00:00:39,420
Same answer, Why not? It's
how we got the Virgin Islands.
16
00:00:39,420 --> 00:00:42,990
Actually, the United States
bought the Virgin Islands from Denmark.
17
00:00:42,990 --> 00:00:45,290
- Okay, Mr. Peabody...
- Are you finished?
18
00:00:45,290 --> 00:00:46,420
Yes.
19
00:00:46,420 --> 00:00:48,090
Good. Because the B-52 was -
20
00:00:48,210 --> 00:00:50,790
In the middle of
the Bermuda Triangle, is this
21
00:00:50,790 --> 00:00:53,530
about the Bermuda Triangle, because
that's my fourth biggest fear!
22
00:00:53,530 --> 00:00:56,260
It's about
the B-52's payload!
23
00:00:56,260 --> 00:00:57,930
Namely, a Mark-28
24
00:00:57,930 --> 00:00:59,300
hydrogen bomb.
25
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:00,770
Ohhhh!
26
00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:03,330
Which ISIS...
is going to recover.
27
00:01:03,340 --> 00:01:04,430
What!?
28
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:08,870
And then give to the U.S.
government in exchange for a huge reward!
29
00:01:08,870 --> 00:01:11,270
So, ransom it back.
30
00:01:11,270 --> 00:01:16,710
No, not ransom it, Cyril, we're-
look, semantics, whatever, this is -
31
00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:17,310
Treason?
32
00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:19,910
A huge
opportunity for ISIS!
33
00:01:19,910 --> 00:01:25,950
- Or the Russians...- The B-52 is
on the ocean floor here, at a depth
34
00:01:25,950 --> 00:01:27,420
of eight thousand feet...
35
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:28,750
or thirteen hundred
36
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:29,890
thirty-three fathoms.
37
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,090
How do you know that?
38
00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:31,860
How do you not?
39
00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:34,960
So recovering the bomb
requires a deep submergence
40
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:39,730
vehicle. The only American DSV is here,
in the Pacific. The Russians have
41
00:01:39,730 --> 00:01:43,230
one in the North Atlantic, so if
they hear about the wreck and start
42
00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:47,110
- steaming toward it-
- They don't actually steam anymore, Mother.
43
00:01:47,110 --> 00:01:50,270
It's a figure of speech,
like "shut your hatch,"
44
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:54,880
because my point was, the Russians will
beat them to it. So we are going to
45
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,280
beat the Russians.
46
00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,520
Give it up, folks!
47
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,250
Mike Eruzione!
48
00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:05,490
Well - shut up - since
Krieger doesn't have a
49
00:02:05,490 --> 00:02:10,530
- submersible hidden in his lab...
- Or do I?
50
00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:12,560
I don't, actually.
51
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:15,760
Then how are we supposed to
beat anybody to a hydrogen bomb, under
52
00:02:15,770 --> 00:02:18,230
two-point-two-seven
leagues of water?!
53
00:02:18,230 --> 00:02:21,470
Oh my Jesus
God damn alright already!
54
00:02:21,470 --> 00:02:22,870
Can I
possibly help you?
55
00:02:22,870 --> 00:02:25,440
Please, I know
you were talking loud so
56
00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:28,040
I'd hear you, so whatever, but
we're not speaking so if you
57
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:33,010
want a deep submergence whatever you can
talk to my stupid gross brother Cecil!
58
00:02:33,010 --> 00:02:35,280
Who, by the way, is
here to see you.
59
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,180
Ms. Archer will see you now.
60
00:02:37,180 --> 00:02:39,410
Thank you, Cheryl, I-
Rrraaaghh!
61
00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:42,080
I hate you!
62
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,020
Hello, I'm Cecil Tunt.
63
00:02:44,020 --> 00:02:46,420
I believe you're in need
of some assistance?
64
00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:50,960
Yeah, RienPoortvliet just called,
he wants you to pose for him.
65
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:54,330
C'mon, beloved
illustrator of "Gnomes"?
66
00:02:54,330 --> 00:02:57,130
Jesus, read a
coffee table book!
67
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:05,074
Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become
a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM
68
00:03:32,810 --> 00:03:36,330
Wow, you own an
island, an undersea laboratory,
69
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:39,220
and this... choppersaurus?
70
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:41,560
Guess it doesn't suck to
be a billionaire, huh?
71
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,660
Probably not, but
Cheryl and I split our
72
00:03:43,660 --> 00:03:47,300
parents' estate, so technically I'm
only worth five hundred million.
73
00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:49,760
Which also doesn't
suck, obviously.
74
00:03:49,770 --> 00:03:52,300
Unlike you
who totally sucks obviously!
75
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:54,040
Will you shut up?!
76
00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:58,610
I swear to God, if you get us kicked
off before I get my jumbo scrimps on -
77
00:03:58,610 --> 00:04:01,140
You'll wish you were
Michael Findlay.
78
00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:02,780
A, Cecil won't
kick you off, he wants
79
00:04:02,780 --> 00:04:05,250
everybody here, for no good reason--
He doesn't need one,
80
00:04:05,250 --> 00:04:08,850
he's an American hero. Who's
going to make me rich.
81
00:04:08,850 --> 00:04:10,750
And B, that's
not even real shrimp.
82
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,150
This is all vegan-soy-bullshit.
83
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:13,190
Pffrrfft! Prrfft! Puh!
84
00:04:13,190 --> 00:04:15,220
Because he's
totally vegan, because his
85
00:04:15,220 --> 00:04:18,760
stupid gross girlfriend Tiffy's a
vegan, and a... brother-stealer!
86
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,230
Who can also
totally heeearyoooou...
87
00:04:21,230 --> 00:04:23,260
Which is amazing
because why aren't you dead
88
00:04:23,270 --> 00:04:24,330
from protein deficiency?!
89
00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:27,040
Uh, because I get all
eight essential amino acids
90
00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:31,340
from amaranth and quinoa without
murdering helpless animals?
91
00:04:31,340 --> 00:04:32,070
Oooooh!
92
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:32,970
kkkuughh!
93
00:04:32,980 --> 00:04:34,440
Hey, Tiff?
94
00:04:34,450 --> 00:04:38,110
Could you, instead of antagonizing
her, maybe go ahead and take off?
95
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:41,650
Love yoooou.
96
00:04:41,650 --> 00:04:45,190
We'll rendezvous with my research vessel
in a few hours, so in the meantime,
97
00:04:45,190 --> 00:04:49,030
I guess, continue to make such
wildly liberal use of the bar.
98
00:04:49,030 --> 00:04:53,530
Done! You're okay, Cecil. I
don't get why Cheryl hates you so much.
99
00:04:53,530 --> 00:04:54,060
Right?
100
00:04:54,070 --> 00:04:56,170
I mean, you've got
this whole Jacques Cousteau-
101
00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:59,440
- thing going on, that's-
- Just one of many philanthropies. I have so
102
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:00,970
much on my plate, as it were.
103
00:05:00,970 --> 00:05:05,040
Children Without Plates, speaking of
plates, uh, Doctors Within Borders...
104
00:05:05,050 --> 00:05:06,140
Within borders.
105
00:05:06,150 --> 00:05:07,980
Well, of countries
ravaged by war.
106
00:05:07,980 --> 00:05:11,080
Right, otherwise-
Otherwise there's not really much point.
107
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:15,990
Then there's Nourish A Child, Shoe
A Child, Bespectacle A Child,
108
00:05:15,990 --> 00:05:19,760
- umm, One Laptop Per Child Soldier...
- Wait, what?
109
00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:23,430
Which, unfortunately, soon became
One Thousand Laptops Per Warlord.
110
00:05:23,430 --> 00:05:25,930
Man, all those charities
have gotta cost, like -
111
00:05:25,930 --> 00:05:28,070
Hey! I should
go help Tiffy.
112
00:05:28,070 --> 00:05:33,440
Since we're flying into the Bermuda Triangle...
where mysteries abound!
113
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,140
What kind of mysteries?
114
00:05:35,140 --> 00:05:38,410
I'm kidding!
115
00:05:38,410 --> 00:05:40,610
Well Cheryl,
you come by it honest.
116
00:05:40,610 --> 00:05:42,510
- Speaking of...
- Aagh! Lana c'mon,
117
00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,320
we're about to fly into the
Bermuda Triangle, my nerves
118
00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:45,820
are frayed enough as it is.
119
00:05:45,820 --> 00:05:46,690
Really.
120
00:05:46,690 --> 00:05:49,120
No, Long Island Iced
Tea number three really took
121
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,120
the edge off. Want one?
122
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:54,990
No, I'm not drinking, but-
Oh my God! I totally saw this coming!
123
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:55,960
You saw what coming?
124
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,030
Did you not join
the Nation of Islam?
125
00:05:58,030 --> 00:05:59,060
No, Archer, I -
126
00:05:59,070 --> 00:05:59,830
You know they won't
127
00:05:59,830 --> 00:06:00,800
let you keep dating Cyril,
128
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,130
right? Plus no bacon?
129
00:06:02,140 --> 00:06:03,770
You done?
130
00:06:03,770 --> 00:06:06,840
Well for now, but after I take a nap-
You'll wake up just in
131
00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:09,740
time to get shot for treason, because
your mother wants to ransom a hydrogen
132
00:06:09,740 --> 00:06:11,480
bomb back to the United
States government.
133
00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:15,980
It's a reward! And maritime
salvage law is very clear on the subject.
134
00:06:15,980 --> 00:06:17,750
According to Cecil.
135
00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:19,120
And what's he
getting out of this?
136
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:22,620
I... guess whatever useless
thing philanthropists normally get from
137
00:06:22,620 --> 00:06:24,530
squandering their
money on the poor.
138
00:06:24,530 --> 00:06:28,460
So what, he's conducting a huge
naval operation just for a warm fuzzy?
139
00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:30,460
I -- hey, wait a second!
140
00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:31,370
What?
141
00:06:31,370 --> 00:06:34,170
I think I have
room for a fuzzy navel.
142
00:06:34,170 --> 00:06:37,200
Wow Tiffy,
who taught you how to fly?
143
00:06:37,210 --> 00:06:39,970
Was it that goose you freed,
ruining last year's Christmas
144
00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:43,580
dinner, or --
Rrrgh, Cecil, I swear to Goddess...?
145
00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:47,250
I know, Tiffy, but please, try
to focus on the greater good. In the
146
00:06:47,250 --> 00:06:50,080
words of the immortal Jeremy Bentham-
Good thing I'm
147
00:06:50,090 --> 00:06:53,150
immortal, cause if she says one
more word to me I will slam
148
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:56,190
this helicopter into
the frickin ocean.
149
00:06:56,190 --> 00:07:00,030
Well, you seem busy.
150
00:07:00,030 --> 00:07:05,270
So say it's worth two billion,
a fair reward on that would be...
151
00:07:05,270 --> 00:07:06,630
um, hello!
152
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,640
Oh, Mr. Tunt! Please,
join me, you're just the person
153
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,670
- I want to talk to...
- And I you. About my
154
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,640
sister. I was curious if
you'd noticed anything...
155
00:07:15,650 --> 00:07:17,810
well, curious, about
her behavior.
156
00:07:17,810 --> 00:07:19,750
Ha! Ha! Ha!
157
00:07:19,750 --> 00:07:21,110
Oh, you're serious.
158
00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:22,780
I'm afraid so, yes.
159
00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,950
Well how much
time do you have?
160
00:07:24,950 --> 00:07:32,230
- As much as you need...
- Oh my God, I
161
00:07:32,230 --> 00:07:36,600
don't know what to say... I have
figuratively lost my tongue.
162
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,000
With Brent it
was almost literally.
163
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,770
That's why we can't
have scissors.
164
00:07:40,770 --> 00:07:44,070
I had no idea her mental state
had declined to such an extent. I mean,
165
00:07:44,070 --> 00:07:48,210
- the arson's not surprising...
- What have you done?
166
00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:49,040
Ha haha!
167
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,880
Take that, gazebo!
168
00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:53,150
But you're
telling me she had...
169
00:07:53,150 --> 00:07:56,050
Mm! Choke-sex,
that's her kink!
170
00:07:56,050 --> 00:08:00,020
With a KGB cyborg. After she led him
straight to the ISIS safehouse,
171
00:08:00,020 --> 00:08:02,830
at 921 East
Seventy-Third Street.
172
00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:05,590
Oh my -- wait,
is that classified?
173
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:09,000
- I won't tell if you won't tell...
- Mmmkay! Well, I
174
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:13,100
appreciate your candor in this matter, Ms. Archer-
Oh no, it's Ms.
175
00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:14,230
Oh.
176
00:08:14,350 --> 00:08:19,230
Ms., yes, thank
you for, um... yes.
177
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,540
Come on, you
call this fully stocked?
178
00:08:31,540 --> 00:08:34,280
And no Georgia peaches?
What the--?
179
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,180
What're you doing?
180
00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:37,080
I --
what're you doing?!
181
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,050
Hairy navel. Started
as a fuzzy, but I'm calling
182
00:08:40,050 --> 00:08:44,820
this vacation, so... Okay.
183
00:08:44,820 --> 00:08:47,050
Love our little talks!
184
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,620
Rrowrf. Nom nom nomnomnom.
185
00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:50,320
Hi, it's Pam, right?
186
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:53,160
Enjoying the cruelty-free
vegan seafood buffet?
187
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:56,830
Mrmff, it's pretty good, once you
get over how allergic I am to soy.
188
00:08:56,830 --> 00:08:58,400
What?! Oh my
God, don't eat that!
189
00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:00,840
Wh-? Hey! I am
a consenting adult.
190
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:05,640
Plus I assume you've got an epi-pen
on this big Riptide-lookin' bastard?
191
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:09,080
I -- yes, in the first
aid kit in the cockpit, but -
192
00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:10,850
Well then shut up.
193
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:17,120
Shutting up, yes. But before I do, could I...
ask you a few questions?
194
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,790
How is everybody
okay with this?
195
00:09:19,790 --> 00:09:20,620
How are you not?
196
00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:21,320
Lana, you heard Ms.
197
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,320
Archer, it's either us
or the Russians, and -
198
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:26,160
I did not hear that, actually, but-
But if you found
199
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:28,930
somebody's wallet, you'd
expect to get a reward, so -
200
00:09:28,930 --> 00:09:30,500
What if they
won't pay a reward?
201
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,070
Then what, she just
keeps the bomb?
202
00:09:32,070 --> 00:09:33,430
C'mon, it's not
gonna come to that.
203
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,570
Ooh, but if it does
we could move to Cecil's island
204
00:09:35,570 --> 00:09:37,000
and be a rogue state!
205
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,610
- Coool...
- Ugh, forget it.
206
00:09:39,610 --> 00:09:44,110
Oh, and also dummies? We're five
hundred miles from the nearest tree.
207
00:09:44,110 --> 00:09:46,780
Hey thanks, Magellan!
208
00:09:46,780 --> 00:09:49,480
Hey wait, why the heck are you
painting my face like this?!
209
00:09:49,490 --> 00:09:51,020
Cause you look fierce.
210
00:09:51,020 --> 00:09:52,020
Rrowr.
211
00:09:52,020 --> 00:09:53,150
Rrowrf.
212
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,020
Well thank you, Pam,
I appreciate your candor,
213
00:09:55,020 --> 00:09:59,160
and -- you really, really should
really stop eating those.
214
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:00,530
Last one.
215
00:10:00,530 --> 00:10:04,060
Mmrowmf.
216
00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:07,100
Malory, please, is there any way
I can get you to reconsider this?
217
00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:10,870
- Well, if you feel that strongly...
- I so do.
218
00:10:10,870 --> 00:10:14,610
Cecil says marine salvage goes
for ten to twenty percent of the item's
219
00:10:14,610 --> 00:10:18,550
value, but since all I'm asking is a
measly three percent, if you've got
220
00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:21,250
sixty million dollars
lying around...?
221
00:10:21,250 --> 00:10:22,250
Bwexqueeze me?!
222
00:10:22,250 --> 00:10:23,550
I know, right?
223
00:10:23,550 --> 00:10:25,450
It's a steal at twice the price.
224
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:29,060
Yeah and about that, Cyril
figured out how big our bonuses should be.
225
00:10:29,060 --> 00:10:30,160
Your what?!
226
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:31,330
I -- Ray made me!
227
00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:33,730
Cyril! C'mon
you're fierce, rrowr!
228
00:10:33,730 --> 00:10:36,260
Rrraarrgh!
229
00:10:36,270 --> 00:10:38,600
No! Don't!
230
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,040
Uh, could I speak
to you for a moment?
231
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,470
"Wildly liberal use,"
232
00:10:42,470 --> 00:10:45,210
Cecil, those were
your exact words!
233
00:10:45,210 --> 00:10:48,640
No, of course, that's totally fine,
but I wanted to talk to you about -
234
00:10:48,650 --> 00:10:51,110
Don't say high-
functioning alcoholism.
235
00:10:51,110 --> 00:10:53,150
I wasn't. Going to.
236
00:10:53,150 --> 00:10:54,210
Well then
what's on your mind?
237
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:57,820
- Well, it's about my sister...
- Hey whoa! I dunno what
238
00:10:57,820 --> 00:11:01,290
she told you but Carol's a consenting adult, so-
Well that's actually
239
00:11:01,290 --> 00:11:03,660
kind of my point, I wanted
to ask if you'd ever
240
00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:11,000
seen my sister acting strangely, or-
Ha! Oh, you're serious.
241
00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:20,070
Just ignore
it, it's non-diegetic.
242
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,580
Last one,
stinky-pinky-swear.
243
00:11:22,580 --> 00:11:23,810
Mrowf.
244
00:11:23,810 --> 00:11:24,810
Psst! Pam!
245
00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:26,910
Aw crap, already?
246
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:27,580
Pam!
247
00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:31,620
Look, auditory hallucinations aren't
gonna make you any less delicious.
248
00:11:31,620 --> 00:11:34,050
Hey! I was talking to that!
249
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:35,320
Shhh! Shut up!
I need your help!
250
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,560
And that's how you ask?
251
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:38,230
Cecil's like,
interviewing everybody!
252
00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:40,790
Yeah, he -- is he?
Doing that?
253
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,100
Yes! And I
think he's taping it!
254
00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:43,930
Look, there's
cameras everywhere!
255
00:11:43,930 --> 00:11:45,130
Huh.
256
00:11:45,130 --> 00:11:46,700
I think he's
taping them saying I'm crazy
257
00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:49,770
so he can show it to a judge and
get a conservatorship over me!
258
00:11:49,770 --> 00:11:51,440
Huh.
259
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:52,810
"Huh" what?!
260
00:11:52,810 --> 00:11:56,810
I mean... ya think that's
the worst idea anybody ever had?
261
00:11:56,810 --> 00:11:58,310
Oh. My God.
262
00:11:58,310 --> 00:12:00,580
I know, it's hard to hear, but-
263
00:12:00,580 --> 00:12:01,310
Owww!
264
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:02,480
I thought
you were my friend!
265
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:06,690
Yeah and for like six months you
also thought you were a werewolf!
266
00:12:06,690 --> 00:12:09,990
Aw crap, I can't feel my face.
267
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:15,400
Last one, swear to God.
268
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:19,900
Swear to God, every full moon
she'd make us lock her in the ISIS vault.
269
00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:21,440
Oh my God, how
are you laughing?
270
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,970
That's not funny, it's tragic!
271
00:12:23,970 --> 00:12:28,610
I -- no yeah, but you
know, plus time, it equals -
272
00:12:28,610 --> 00:12:30,550
Thank you, I've
heard quite enough.
273
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:34,780
Now if you'll please excuse me, I-
Cecil? My darling whom I love?
274
00:12:34,790 --> 00:12:37,050
And also strangers
whom I don't even like?
275
00:12:37,050 --> 00:12:39,050
Our ETA is fifteen minutes.
276
00:12:39,060 --> 00:12:44,130
And the seas are really choppy, so
we may be in for a rough landing.
277
00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:47,000
Thank you love yoooooou.
278
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,470
So you may want to
switch to coffee.
279
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:53,100
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ahhh.
280
00:12:53,110 --> 00:12:56,040
Oh, you're still serious.
281
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:59,480
Or am I?
282
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,510
I am, actually.
283
00:13:01,510 --> 00:13:03,710
Have you people
lost your minds?!
284
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:06,620
- 'cause apparently it's going around...
- Because - shut up - if
285
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:11,620
we recover the bomb, I will decide if
any of you receives a tiny bonus, so -
286
00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:12,720
If?! If?!
287
00:13:12,730 --> 00:13:14,260
Guys, shut up,
I got this, shut up.
288
00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:15,560
What do you mean, if?!
289
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:16,960
Also, what are we talking about?
290
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:21,800
Nothing. There's nothing to talk
about, because I am -- Jesus Christ!
291
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,140
Okay, it's either
the altitude or a stroke.
292
00:13:24,140 --> 00:13:27,240
Mother, it's Sterling!
Do you smell toast?
293
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,040
Pam?!
294
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:32,650
Grrrgh, grrrgh!
295
00:13:32,650 --> 00:13:35,280
What the-
-- hell are you doing?!
296
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:37,520
The cockpit is off
limits, missy!
297
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:40,690
Oh yeah?!
Well so's my inheritance!
298
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:44,560
Goddammit, shut
up John Williams!
299
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:47,090
Oh my God you
really are crazy!
300
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:49,060
Would a crazy person do this?!
301
00:13:49,060 --> 00:13:50,460
Ungh!
302
00:13:50,470 --> 00:13:53,830
Yes!
303
00:13:53,830 --> 00:13:55,470
What the
hell's going on?!
304
00:13:55,470 --> 00:13:57,400
It's Cheryl!
She's in the cockpit!
305
00:13:57,410 --> 00:13:59,940
I think she's trying
to kill us all!
306
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:01,040
Oh good.
307
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,600
For a second there I
thought I drank too much.
308
00:14:13,180 --> 00:14:16,050
Cheryl!
Cheryl, open the door!
309
00:14:16,050 --> 00:14:19,760
Rrrr! Rrrk! Why the
hell's there a lock on it?!
310
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:22,060
Well obviously to
prevent this exact scenario
311
00:14:22,060 --> 00:14:24,930
from ever happening, but-
Now?! Really?! You think this is a
312
00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:25,930
good time to be facetious?!
313
00:14:25,930 --> 00:14:28,260
I'm -- fairly certain you're
not using "facetious" correctlrrmp.
314
00:14:28,890 --> 00:14:32,090
Cheryl? Can you come out here so
we can talk about this like adults?
315
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:34,460
Who aren't gonna die
in a helicopter crash?
316
00:14:34,470 --> 00:14:37,130
We'll crash with the tapes!
Of all of you stupid
317
00:14:37,140 --> 00:14:39,870
jerks saying I'm crazy!
318
00:14:39,870 --> 00:14:40,570
The what?
319
00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:43,240
The tapes!
It's part of his sneaky
320
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:47,840
plan to get a conservatorship over
me so he can steal my inheritance!
321
00:14:47,850 --> 00:14:49,880
That's why she
hijacked his helicopter?
322
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,350
Man, talk about rich
people problems.
323
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:55,050
- Grrrgh...
- What're you -- Archer, Pam is dying!
324
00:14:55,050 --> 00:14:57,020
Cyril shut up!
I'm in charge here!
325
00:14:57,020 --> 00:14:59,790
And...okay, here's
what we're doing!
326
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,700
Emergency tracheotomy!
327
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:04,930
Grrrk?!
328
00:15:04,930 --> 00:15:05,760
With a crazy straw?!
329
00:15:05,770 --> 00:15:08,770
It's fine, it's pretty
sterile, that Hairy Navel
330
00:15:08,770 --> 00:15:10,440
was mostly Kentucky Moon.
331
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:11,140
Grrrgh!
332
00:15:11,140 --> 00:15:13,010
That's not how
you make a Hairy Navel!
333
00:15:13,010 --> 00:15:16,440
I know, it's a new drink, help
me think of a name, so far all I've
334
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,440
got is Horatio Cornblower.
335
00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:21,380
Which... Okay, Pam!
Here's what's happening!
336
00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:22,780
I'm gonna make a
small incision in
337
00:15:22,780 --> 00:15:25,080
- your trachea with this...
- Grrrrk?!
338
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,420
Archer!
339
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:29,490
- Yeah right, that's not sterile...
- Ugh! And since when do
340
00:15:29,490 --> 00:15:31,060
you carry a switchblade?!
341
00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:34,430
It's a long
story, Mother!
342
00:15:34,430 --> 00:15:35,930
Neat.
343
00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:38,960
Well, not so much long as
just not very interesting.
344
00:15:38,970 --> 00:15:42,770
Okay, Pam, you with me? Then, I'm
gonna stick this in the incision,
345
00:15:42,770 --> 00:15:43,770
and you should be good to go.
346
00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:44,470
Ready?
347
00:15:44,470 --> 00:15:45,740
Nnghnnnngh!
348
00:15:45,740 --> 00:15:48,040
I -- no, don't--
Pam, stop it!
349
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:50,910
Nnghnnnngh!
350
00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:53,740
Okay, sorry in
advance for this...
351
00:15:53,750 --> 00:15:54,380
Ungh!
352
00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:55,810
Unnngh!
353
00:15:55,810 --> 00:15:56,550
Frstrrrdkerrrrrt!
354
00:15:56,550 --> 00:15:59,050
Erperperrrrrn!
355
00:15:59,050 --> 00:16:01,650
Oh my God, the first aid kit!
I think it might have an epi-pen!
356
00:16:01,650 --> 00:16:02,720
Rrrrhrrrr!
357
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:04,990
Ow, jeez, and
hopefully a cold pack...
358
00:16:04,990 --> 00:16:06,990
Go get the
damn first aid kit!
359
00:16:06,990 --> 00:16:09,360
I am! But not
because you said so!
360
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,990
Just breathe
Pam, it's on the way!
361
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,900
So, you think Cecil's really trying
to steal Cheryl's inheritance?
362
00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:16,100
Who cares?!
363
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,370
Well you should.
364
00:16:17,370 --> 00:16:18,200
Because...?
365
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,670
Because you've been
trying to get your bony manhooks
366
00:16:20,670 --> 00:16:23,440
on her money for years, and
how the hell're you gonna
367
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:24,940
do that if Cecil gets it?!
368
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:27,480
Tapes! We have to find
and destroy the tapes there
369
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,710
must be some sort of recording
device somewhere and
370
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,120
why are you still
standing there go!
371
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:33,050
What about Pam?!
372
00:16:33,050 --> 00:16:33,980
I'll buy you a new one!
373
00:16:33,990 --> 00:16:35,190
Oww!
374
00:16:35,190 --> 00:16:36,390
Grrgh, grrgh!
375
00:16:36,390 --> 00:16:41,060
Oh, quit milking it.
376
00:16:41,060 --> 00:16:43,130
Hey hey hey,
whoa, Lana stop!
377
00:16:43,130 --> 00:16:43,730
What?!
378
00:16:43,730 --> 00:16:47,130
If you damage that, it might
not work in the event of an emergency.
379
00:16:47,130 --> 00:16:48,430
And what would
you call this?!
380
00:16:48,430 --> 00:16:49,360
Oh right.
381
00:16:49,370 --> 00:16:51,930
Speaking of, Pam's dying
of anaphylactic shock.
382
00:16:51,940 --> 00:16:53,070
You got a first aid kit?
383
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:54,800
I -- it's in the cockpit!
384
00:16:54,810 --> 00:16:56,470
Which is locked,
and -- no nonono!
385
00:16:56,470 --> 00:16:58,070
BLAM
BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM!
386
00:16:58,070 --> 00:16:58,870
Gagh!
387
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,940
And also
apparently bulletproof.
388
00:17:00,940 --> 00:17:02,040
Well yeah, you'd want
389
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,410
it to be, to prevent-
You shot me!
390
00:17:04,410 --> 00:17:05,810
You idiot!
391
00:17:05,810 --> 00:17:08,580
Hey! First of all,
if I shot you you'd know it!
392
00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:11,080
And secondly, now
who's the idiot?
393
00:17:11,090 --> 00:17:12,850
Wh-? You! All of you!
394
00:17:12,850 --> 00:17:13,690
You're here because I wanted
395
00:17:13,690 --> 00:17:15,160
you here, so I could -
396
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:15,960
Help us get the
397
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,090
hydrogen bomb, yeah.
398
00:17:17,090 --> 00:17:20,830
Oh my God!
There is no bomb!
399
00:17:20,830 --> 00:17:21,960
What?!
400
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:25,070
Well, guess I
had that coming...
401
00:17:25,070 --> 00:17:26,900
Grrgh!
402
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:28,140
Well you don't
have to rub it in!
403
00:17:28,140 --> 00:17:32,740
I just wanted to get you people
on tape saying Cheryl was crazy, so I
404
00:17:32,740 --> 00:17:36,750
could get control of her inheritance
to fund my numerous philanthropies!
405
00:17:37,750 --> 00:17:40,650
A-ha! Hang on.
406
00:17:40,650 --> 00:17:45,850
Now shut up! And land...
This... shitheap!
407
00:17:45,860 --> 00:17:49,220
Ahem. Now, I believe there was some
mention of anaphylactic shock?
408
00:17:49,230 --> 00:17:50,030
Thank you!
409
00:17:50,030 --> 00:17:51,830
She's my patient, Lana!
410
00:17:51,830 --> 00:17:55,100
Wait, so if all you wanted was to
get us on tape saying she's crazy...
411
00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:56,900
Which I'm
totally not, by the wrrmp.
412
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:59,070
You could've done
that in a lawyer's office.
413
00:17:59,070 --> 00:18:01,940
Why drag us all the way out to the
middle of the frickin ocean?!
414
00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:05,040
Well... promise
you won't get mad?
415
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,770
Uh, no?
416
00:18:06,780 --> 00:18:08,710
You ssshole!
417
00:18:08,710 --> 00:18:10,110
Stupid! Drunk ass!
418
00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:13,450
Switchblade
tracheotomygivin dicknuts!
419
00:18:13,450 --> 00:18:14,050
Ow!
420
00:18:14,050 --> 00:18:16,120
Rrrgh!
421
00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:18,280
Sorry, thanks, I
feel a lot better.
422
00:18:18,290 --> 00:18:21,720
Yeah that's why I jammed it
in your neck, I figured if -- oww!
423
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,060
What the
hell was that for?!
424
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:25,060
Horatio Cornblower?!
425
00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:26,090
I know, right?
426
00:18:26,090 --> 00:18:27,690
You got anything?
427
00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:28,660
Dicknuts.
428
00:18:28,660 --> 00:18:29,960
Okay, we got the tapes!
429
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:30,960
Big whoop.
430
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:34,100
I -- wait, I thought you
wanted -what just happened?
431
00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:35,970
It was a hoax!
There is no bomb!
432
00:18:35,970 --> 00:18:38,140
Boom! Guess
you had that comin'
433
00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:40,410
Oh, put another
man's penis in it.
434
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:44,710
Attention unwelcome passengers...
We are now landing, so please
435
00:18:44,710 --> 00:18:47,150
find your seats and
fasten your seat belts.
436
00:18:47,150 --> 00:18:53,190
Or not, because frankly, I could give
a shit if all you people live or die.
437
00:18:53,190 --> 00:18:55,890
The odds on which I'd put at about...
whatcha think,
438
00:18:55,890 --> 00:18:57,320
Cecil? Fifty-to-one?
439
00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:58,860
Lana? What's going on?
440
00:18:58,860 --> 00:18:59,890
Somebody shot him.
441
00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:02,490
Will you...?
Lana, what's going on?
442
00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:04,130
Why don't you ask Cecil?
443
00:19:04,130 --> 00:19:06,530
Ow! God, your
hands are like --ow!
444
00:19:06,530 --> 00:19:10,800
Well as you may know, one of my many
philanthropic endeavors is an undersea
445
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,900
research laboratory, which, as
luck would have it, is actually
446
00:19:13,910 --> 00:19:15,150
beneath us right now.
447
00:19:15,270 --> 00:19:16,740
Cut. To the chase.
448
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:21,130
Ow! Anyhoo, the lead scientist is
threatening -- well, he can tell you.
449
00:19:21,250 --> 00:19:24,680
Ahem. Captain Murphy?
450
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,610
Please tell
me you guys heard that.
451
00:19:28,730 --> 00:19:30,700
Ahhhh. Mister Tunt.
452
00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:32,840
Don't worry,
he can't see us.
453
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,010
- No, but I can hear you...
- Although he can hear us.
454
00:19:36,010 --> 00:19:40,250
Yes I can, and please hear me.
For years, decades,
455
00:19:40,370 --> 00:19:44,150
I have begged the so-called leaders of
the world to stop poisoning our oceans.
456
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,350
But they have ignored my pleas.
457
00:19:46,350 --> 00:19:48,780
As I will ignore theirs, Mr. Tunt.
458
00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:52,300
Unless my
list of demands is met in the next...
459
00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:56,250
Tsk tsk, twelve hours. At which
point, I will launch our
460
00:19:56,370 --> 00:19:59,130
missiles on Washington,
Miami, and New York.
461
00:19:59,420 --> 00:20:01,990
Hope everybody has a gas mask.
462
00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:05,830
Why do they
have missiles?!
463
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:07,960
And what did he
mean by "gas mask"?!
464
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:11,160
I, you know, that was,
I think, maybe, probably,
465
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:16,000
because the missiles are definitely
tipped with VX nerve gas?
466
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,110
Oh my God!
467
00:20:18,110 --> 00:20:19,010
What?
468
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:22,940
The -- it's-- the -- dammit!
469
00:20:22,950 --> 00:20:26,310
Still can't beat
Horatio Cornblower.
470
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:27,720
Dicknuts!
471
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,950
Hrmmmff.
472
00:20:30,305 --> 00:20:36,506
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
35863
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
