All language subtitles for Lets.Get.Physical.S01E03

Previously on Let's Get Physical:

That's how we win Dad's money, with
unexpected dancers like those two.

Please, Mr. Cross, don't cut me.

Looking for dancers!

I'm going to the Metrix to
steal some of Barry's dancers.

I know you're not a Metrix robot.

Why don't you dance for us?

If we don't get this loan,

we can't pay our team
and they're going to quit.

Well, this has been our family
bank since you were in diapers.

Just don't say a word,
and... don't look so sweaty.

Can't help it.

I get nervous in banks and schools.

So many papers, so many rules.

I don't even know where to start.

There are small children with
more credit history than you.

Have you ever had a checking account,

a salary of any kind,

a phone bill?

I'm a performer.

I live off of tips, and
a complex bartering system

with my fellow
service-industry colleagues.

And I, uh, buy my
cellphones at gas stations,

because they have great
deals and, uh, sandwiches.

How is my financial standing?

It's worse than your son's.

You already have a business
loan, and multiple lines of credit

that your husband stopped
paying off years ago.

I want to see the
skeletons in your closet!

Back in the '90s, I, uh...

I tried to start a lingerie
line for the military wives.

It was called Classified Secrets,

and these would be the business plans,

and some photos of me that
you might not want to see.

Yeah, you can burn that.
Just burn it and shred it.

Shred it, then burn it.
I don't want to see it.

Okay.

I'm only a banker, not a therapist.

We can't give you a business loan,

and because you've been
overdrawn for months, I'm forced,

sorry for that choice of word,

to close your accounts.

But first we'll need to clear out
your husband's safety deposit box.

- Uh, excuse me?
- I-I didn't realise

that he had a safety deposit box.

The Fitness King has gotta work, yeah!

What's up, Juan? I come bearing samples!

Who wants cramp bark? It's the shit!

Mr. Cross is here. BRB.

And don't touch anything.

Mm-mmm. Peekaboo. Holy shit,
Carol, you are lean and mean!

Here's a free pass to Kettle Bell Hell.

- Thank you.
- Keep it going, girl! Gopher!

- Dylan, you sonofabitch.
- Hey.

- Pushing too many pencils, Dylan?
- Argh!

- Okay, okay!
- Argh! Hey!

Verrrrronica! Congrats on
beating your attendants' record.

You and I are gonna be
bumping bits later, huh?

- Mr. Cross!
- Naughty girl.

I just gave you 20 Met
coins for the juice bar.

Do you smell stewed tomatoes?

Smells like ketchup and desperation. Ah!

Is that Puffy Joe Force?

You know they don't have
Coin Star at the bank, right?

Actually, uh, the reason we're here

is because my dad left us
something very important

in a safe deposit box.

We're gonna go get that now.

What's in the box?

The beginning... of what?

- What is this?
- Film.

Janet, Joe, what's in the box?

Hi. Seriously, what's in the box?

- Don't worry about it, Barry.
- Oh, come on, give me a little peeky-boo.

Uh-uh-uh, what is it?

Um, you know what? I'll tell
you how to shed your chin fat.

Is it, uh, fitness memorabilia?

Jane Fonda's leg-warmers?
What is it? Show me.

Barry, darling, these are
priceless family artifacts,

and none of your business, so...

if you don't mind, would you
kindly put your fist in your mouth

and run into a wall?

Good one, J-Rock. Yeah,
go fist your mouth.

What's in the box?

Come on! Start the car!
Start the car! Start the car!

Come on, what's in the box?!
Show me what's in the box!

Show me what's in the box! Show me!!

Ah!!

- ♪ Let's get physical, physical ♪
- Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com -

_

_

Welcome to your first staff meeting.

Now, if anyone speaks, I have
given her permission to hurt you.

Wait a second. You have a
scrappy street kid, an ex-con,

and a big, beautiful warrior, and
for the enforcer, you pick the girl?

Ah!

Okay, I see your point.

Every day at 9 a.m. there
will be team practice.

No absences, no excuses.

Regionals are only two weeks away,

and we need to perfect our routine.

Once we place in regionals,

we will go on to the aerobics finals.

Then we will only have one
month in which to prepare

all-new routines. Am I understood?

Hell yeah.

Um, I'm gonna need every Tuesday off.

Got this regular paying Craigslist gig.

Guy pays me a cool hundo every week.

What? Nah, it ain't like
that. He just gets me to

dress up in a Little
League uniform and...

play catch with him in the park.

- Oh, my God.
- Well, I need money, okay?

Janet's up here talking about routines.

We haven't even gotten a paycheck yet.

Confiscate his drug paraphernalia.

No, no, no, no. That's
my ice-cream cake vape.

I need that so I don't
smoke weed up in here.

Fine! I don't even want it.

Just go back to eating
gummy-bear edibles.

- That's all I can afford.
- Okay, everybody, let's just calm down.

The Colonel has left us a little gift

that's probably worth something.

All we gotta do is figure
out what's on these and... No.

And then find out a way
to sell them... Uh-uh.

And then we all get paid.

Don't let those little darlings

get dirty whilst you examine them.

Just...

Oh. Barry, why aren't you
practicing with your team?

Barry, what the hell's going on?

_

- What's in the box?
- Oh, my God...

Uh, what box?

The Colonel left Joe a safety
deposit box. What's in it?

Never-before-seen aerobics moves?

Training techniques they
can use to defeat us?

Woosa...

give me that.

Do you remember your
rivalry with Billy Blanks?

Yes, yes. I created Wooey Cross
to outsell his stupid Tae Bo DVDs.

I moved to Thailand to train
with a kickboxing master.

Who ended up being a crazy old
man who got you hooked on betel nut

and made you clean his
shack for six months.

Do you remember what happened then?

I drifted from shanty
town to shanty town,

stowed away on a pirate vessel.

I did things I'm not proud of.

Survived on papaya rinds and rainwater.

Do you remember what happened then?

You rented a helicopter and rescued me.

You have hyper-competitive
personality disorder.

It's my job to protect
you from yourself.

Brush your teeth, go find your team,

and I will head over
to Fitness by Force.

No! I've got a better idea.

I'll find my team, then brush my teeth.

You head over to Fitness By Force.

Together, we're invincible!

Okay.

Oh, God.

What are we looking for again?

A projector, so we
can watch those reels.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, look, I know the Force is
our fam and everything now, but...

I don't think we can
rely on 'em for a payday.

Facts. Alright, we need
to run a side hustle

out the gift shop so we
can make some extra chips.

Maybe something like this?

Colonel Force's Health
and Fitness Inventions.

- What do we got here?
- Hey, check it out.

♪ Give it a jack, it'll
kill your plaque. ♪

♪ It's the shaky, shaky brush.
Shaky, shaky, brush, brush. ♪

Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no. No, like this!

- _
- The Snacks Compactor.

- _
- Oh!

I mean it ain't stealing
if he's dead, right?

That's how I got my first pager.

Exactly, I should know.
I'll make it and you hype it.

50/50. Huh?

- Ah!
- Hey, check it out. It's my dick.

Now I'm humping cavities.

Humping cavities in the butt!
Ya! Ya! Take that! Ha-ha.

Put it away.

Is that a bloody gash?

It looks like some kind of surgery.

Was the Colonel a doctor too?

Kind of.

When he was in the
military, he spent a decade

doing creepy science experiments
on the human body, and then once...

- Holy shit.
- What?

Oh, I know what this is!

Of course! My dad had this crazy theory.

If you did the right kind of movements,

then it would improve
your... like, inner system.

So the reels are...?

The beginning of aerobics!

This could be worth a lot of money.

Yeah!

Aerobics is the cornerstone
of the entire fitness industry!

Ah, that's how we sell
it. A piece of history.

We should auction it off to the G8.

You really think a
tomato-juice company's

gonna want to buy this? Come on.

No, dummy, the G8 are the top
eight national gym franchises.

- Oh.
- Yoo-hoo!

I want to make a deal.

You need money for so many reasons,

and I need my husband to stop obsessing

over what's in that
box, so it's a win/win.

- Um...
- Well, Claudia,

if you'd like to purchase these items,

then you can bid on them
at our auction with the G8.

- Wait, what if we sell right now?
- No. Shut up.

Okay.

This is bigger than the Metrix.

Joe, just take the offer. You
don't want to play hardball with me.

Hardball, Foosball,
platform diving, name it.

I'll take you and your husband down.

Okay, um, breathing room.

You do realize she's highly unstable.

This is between you two right now.

Well, you can keep your pet. We
have plenty of them at our gym.

I guess we'll see you at the auction.

Really happy we fired you.

Guess we're having an auction.

_

Welcome, gym owners, to the
Force Fitness special auction.

Our presentation, the
Beginning of Aerobics,

will start in one minute.

Mom! Stop!

Not in front of the other gym owners.

I can't believe it, but I
think I'm actually proud of you.

- Aw...
- No.

Heh-heh. Yeah. Enough, enough.

You're sweating on my perfume.

So, uh, break a leg today, darling.

Uh, the theatrical break, not
the drunken stage-fall break.

Stop!

Alright, baby, time
for the grand opening.

- Snacks!
- Yeah, baby, come on.

Alright, hocus-pocus, come on now.

- Come on the money. Ah-ha-ah
- Snack, snack, snack, snack, snack, snack!

Everybody! Ooh!

Bros.

We call it the Snacks Compactor.

- Yeah.
- Featuring Clarence.

Bros, you all gotta try this! Mm!

♪ Somebody say make money,
money, make money, money, money! ♪

♪ Make money, money,
money! Make money, money! ♪

Come on, let's have you.
Can I get you a Snacks bar?

- We have vanilla...
- Attention, gym owners.

Please take your seats for a special
presentation of our auction items.

The Beginning of Aerobics.

We have better set
design on our sex tapes.

In the beginning, there
were smokers and fatties.

Then one man changed everything,

and that man was Colonel Tom Force.

Before Joe's dad became a fitness guru,

he spent over a decade doing all
these fancy science experiments

on astronaut lungs and military hearts.

It's like a community-theater
production in a halfway house.

And even though the Colonel's
workouts were backed by research,

U.S. soldiers didn't like 'em,

because they said
they were too feminine.

Oh, hell no.

But my father did not give up.

Instead, he turned his
focus on the American public.

He used his research to create
and publish his first book,

Aerobics with Force.

And along came a graduate dance
student named Jackie Sorenson.

Tina looks too happy.

Have our members flood her social
media with unflattering emojis.

She read the Colonel's book,

combined his exercises
with her love of music,

and aerobics as we know it was born.

Under the guidance of the Colonel,

Jackie taught aerobics
to the military wives,

and they freaking loved it.

And so aerobics fever spread

from the military bases
to the community centers.

Then a woman named Jane Fonda

built an all-female
aerobics gym in Los Angeles.

She was approached by a producer,

and together they created
the first home-fitness video,

and a billion-dollar industry was born.

Looks like the Colonel was
forced out of that deal! Ya!

Ladies and gentlemen of the G8,

today you have a chance
to buy a piece of history

never before seen by the public.

I present to you The
Beginning of Aerobics!

The footage that launched a movement,

the research that built an industry.

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

- Alright!
- Whoo!

The bidding will commence momentarily.

Oh...

- Oh! Mm!
- Mm. Thanks.

Hey, you can't be back here.

Oh, mm, well, here we are.

I'm impressed, GI-Joe.

You managed to bring all the
top gym chains under one roof.

Wouldn't it be a shame if these

powerful franchises
found out that your father

put up $8 million to the winning
gym of this year's aerobics finals?

Honey, what do you suppose
they would do if they found out?

I think they'd probably
create super teams

with their top members
and then crush you.

That's what I would do.
That's what we're doing.

Yeah, but if there's more
people in the competition,

then it's harder for
you to win our money.

I'll tell you what.

I'll give you a dollar
for what's in the box,

or I will blow your $8-million secret.

Looks like you've been blowing squid.

Excuse me!

- I have some big news to share.
- Uh, sold!

To the Metrix for an undisclosed amount.

- What?!
- No, it was one dollar.

- Ha! Suck it, G8!
- One dollar?!

- This is bullshit!
- But wait...!

That is so unethical!

Good luck explaining this one.

You sold all of our hard work and
your dad's legacy for one dollar?

Guys, being a business
owner is very complicated.

There are a lot of moving
parts. Back me up on this, Mom.

No? Okay, fine. You want
to know the real truth?

- When my dad died, he also left us...
- A huge mess,

and we're dealing with it
privately. No, the reason...

that we only fetched a dollar

for the footage is that one
of you had an assault charge.

Oh, dear, you're all delinquents.

Well, this time, it would be you, Tina.

She choked Barry, and he was
gonna throw the book at her,

so we had to sell to him

otherwise, she would've been
disqualified or even arrested.

I'm so sorry, everyone,
for letting you down. It

just felt so good to watch
the air leave Barry's body.

Well, you're with Fitness by Force
now, and we take care of our own.

But, of course, the bad news
is, we-we can't pay you just yet.

Oh, my man.

It is upsetting how
easily you can lie, Mom.

They deserve to know the truth.

Do you really think I'm going
to let you give away my money?

If it were your money,
you'd have it right now.

Can I borrow 20 bucks for gas?

Honey, sit down.

It took an entire day

to find someone who can
convert these files to video.

$5000 later...

Money is no object, my queen.

This could be a
game-changer for the Metrix.

We could create
super-humans for the NFL,

the military, Dancing With the Stars!

Here we are, the beginning of a new era.

This is the game-changer.

Maybe the Colonel was
creating super-athlete mutants.

He's like the original Professor Xavier.

Okay, Janet...

That's... that's the mother.

Eyes on target, deep breath.

Our son is almost here.

- No, no! No! No!
- Oh! Okay.

- Deliver the payload.
- I hate you!

Oh, t-t-turn it off!

These files cost a lot
of money to convert.

You know, Sloppy Joe
is gonna pay for this!

I will go, because I want
you to stay out of jail.

What am I supposed to do?

Keep bouncing.

_

Everything you touch
falls apart, literally.

You're like a contagious virus.

The airborne patient
zero of cluster[BLEEP]s.

Yeah, but how do I turn
that skill into money?

The footage of your birth.

_

- The beginning.
- Mmm.

Oh, the beginning of my life! Right.

Oh, that means... Ah...

You saw my mom's vagina. Oh!

Ah, it's been a week.

These are the video files
we had converted for $5000.

We're gonna need to be paid back.

I have one dollar to my name,
and you know where that came from.

Hand it over.

Okay.

Cha-ching.

Nice doing business with you, Mr. Force.

Business.

Oh, holy shit. Hey, Claudia?

Wait, wait, wait!
Claudia! I have an idea.

Oh, I already don't like it.

If the Metrix wins the aerobics finals,

- then you win $8 million.
- Correct.

But if I win, you get nothing.

- Also correct, but highly improbable.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait.

What if I could guarantee

that you walk away with
$4 million, no matter what?

You and me.

Business partners.

I will sell you half of
Fitness by Force for...

50 grand.

Why would I do that?

Because you can't pass up a good deal.

Four million on 50 grand.

That's like... hedging your bets.

And a live audience
does have a soft spot

for a loveable underdog loser.

But as much as I'd like
to take advantage of you...

- Please do. Anytime.
- financially... it's not gonna happen.

- Just let me know. Seriously, whenever.
- Not, physically,

- that won't happen. Please stop.
- Okay. Just let me know.

You're right.

That's a calculated risk the
Metrix could definitely take.

Oh, whoa, no. Not the Metrix, just you.

This is a secret deal between you and I.

Well, the Metrix,
Barry and I are a unit.

For now.

Oh, I see what this is. No.

No, Claudia. Barry is unraveling.

You will lose.

If you help me out right now,

I swear I will never tell another soul.

And then you won't be responsible

for my sad, slow, eventual death
at a Mexican-Irish dive bar.

Stop that. I already hate the
part of me that feels bad for you.

If you help me out right now, I
promise I will leave you alone for...

a while.

Okay, Janet.

Deep breath. Our son...

♪ Oh, I got the checks,
I got the checks ♪

♪ I got the checks. Yeah! ♪

♪ I got the checks! ♪

Are you gonna tell us
how you got this money?

Come on, we're Fitness by Force.

We take care of our own, huh?

Alright, let's go practice.

I gotta admit, Joe, I really didn't
think you'd come through on this.

- Oh, thank you.
- Speaking of coming through,

my man, your birth was...
something to behold.

We're not gonna speak
of that again, okay?

- Let's practice.
- Yeah. Let's do it to it.

Ice-cream cake vape, where
are you at, baby? Huh?

Vape pen, vape pen.

Ah, boomshalaka, there you are.

Alright, Joseph, you sit right there.

Are you ready, son?

This is a never-before-seen
aerobics move

that I want to share with you.

I call it the F16 Tomcat.

Someday it will be all yours.

That shit's for real.

And that's how it's done, my boy.

Guys!! Come back now!!

On the next Let's Get Physical:

Dr. Arnold, he's the first and
last name in aerobics attire.

He invented Lycra.

This feels like a very unnecessary
step in the whole process.

Which one of us is the
doctor who invented Lycra?

You...

- Goddammit.
- Hello, Mr. Cross.

Shall we play a game?

Sync & corrections by PetaG
- www.addic7ed.com -