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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:58,102 --> 00:01:00,094 Welcome to the Villa Capri. 3 00:01:00,622 --> 00:01:02,102 Located in the heart of the desert 4 00:01:02,182 --> 00:01:05,095 is the resort community that takes you to paradise. 5 00:01:05,622 --> 00:01:07,614 You've worked hard all of your life, 6 00:01:08,022 --> 00:01:08,933 and now... 7 00:01:12,222 --> 00:01:13,133 No! 8 00:01:26,982 --> 00:01:28,257 That son of a bitch 9 00:01:28,662 --> 00:01:29,982 is in Palm Springs. 10 00:01:30,582 --> 00:01:33,381 He's basking in the sun and playing golf. 11 00:01:33,462 --> 00:01:38,093 While my husband is drinking toilet wine in supermax! 12 00:01:50,262 --> 00:01:53,255 Now the only thing that I want from you for Christmas 13 00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:56,858 is that rat's head in a box! 14 00:01:58,862 --> 00:02:00,694 And make it look like it's an accident. 15 00:02:14,382 --> 00:02:17,216 ♪ A few more days till Christmas ♪ 16 00:02:18,102 --> 00:02:20,458 ♪ My favorite time of year ♪ 17 00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:24,574 ♪ If we're lucky we'll see Santa ♪ 18 00:02:25,462 --> 00:02:27,738 ♪ Rudolph and his eight reindeer ♪ 19 00:02:28,622 --> 00:02:31,774 ♪ The snow keeps on fallin' ♪ 20 00:02:32,862 --> 00:02:35,331 ♪ Sleddin' down the hill ♪ 21 00:02:36,342 --> 00:02:39,494 ♪ Frosty's frozen on the lawn ♪ 22 00:02:40,022 --> 00:02:42,173 ♪ Countin' down the days until ♪ 23 00:02:43,662 --> 00:02:46,461 ♪ We gather 'round decorate the tree ♪ 24 00:02:47,262 --> 00:02:49,857 ♪ Singin' holiday songs ♪ 25 00:02:50,822 --> 00:02:53,132 ♪ Spices fill the air ♪ 26 00:02:53,662 --> 00:02:55,779 ♪ Smell of cookies everywhere ♪ 27 00:02:56,302 --> 00:02:57,895 - Hi, Duke. - Hey. 28 00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:00,219 ♪ A few more days to Christmas ♪ 29 00:03:01,502 --> 00:03:03,971 ♪ The very best time of year ♪ 30 00:03:05,302 --> 00:03:08,181 ♪ Firelight is glowing ♪ 31 00:03:08,262 --> 00:03:11,494 ♪ On everything we hold dear ♪ 32 00:03:12,222 --> 00:03:15,294 ♪ Just a few more days till Christmas ♪ 33 00:03:16,142 --> 00:03:19,931 ♪ A few more days ♪ ♪ Till Christmas is here ♪ 34 00:03:20,022 --> 00:03:23,936 - Hi. - Thank you. 35 00:03:26,662 --> 00:03:27,573 Santa! 36 00:03:29,022 --> 00:03:30,741 Oh! You're very generous, Duke. 37 00:03:30,822 --> 00:03:32,654 Could I get you to sign this receipt for me? 38 00:03:33,462 --> 00:03:35,454 Sure thing. You just bought your way off 39 00:03:35,542 --> 00:03:36,896 - the naughty list. - Pleasure. 40 00:03:38,222 --> 00:03:40,976 ♪ Rudolph and his eight reindeer ♪ 41 00:03:41,782 --> 00:03:44,536 ♪ Firelight is glowing ♪ 42 00:03:44,782 --> 00:03:47,536 ♪ On everything we hold dear ♪ 43 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:51,614 ♪ Just a few more days till Christmas ♪ 44 00:03:52,502 --> 00:03:55,097 ♪ A few more days till Christmas ♪ 45 00:03:55,182 --> 00:03:58,300 - Hey boss! - Great job, guys. Very festive. 46 00:04:27,502 --> 00:04:30,415 - Excuse me. This is Mr. Diver's spot. - Perfect! 47 00:04:32,302 --> 00:04:34,100 Mr. Diver make you wear those clothes? 48 00:04:39,542 --> 00:04:40,658 Shine it up for me, Elf. 49 00:04:45,062 --> 00:04:47,133 - Nice tree. - Who is that in my parking spot? 50 00:04:47,222 --> 00:04:49,817 Oh, that's a new resident, Leo McKay. 51 00:04:49,902 --> 00:04:52,053 Yeah, he just checked in last night and he's actually very... 52 00:04:52,142 --> 00:04:54,611 He's got a ten-gallon hat on a five-gallon head. 53 00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:55,898 Paid all cash. 54 00:04:59,102 --> 00:04:59,979 Cash? 55 00:05:02,342 --> 00:05:03,571 Well... 56 00:05:04,382 --> 00:05:07,022 Let's invite him to my private poker game. 57 00:05:07,302 --> 00:05:08,292 You got it. 58 00:05:08,702 --> 00:05:10,182 I'll show him who's boss. 59 00:05:11,422 --> 00:05:13,061 - In the nicest way. - Of course. 60 00:05:16,502 --> 00:05:17,982 - It's crooked. - Hm? 61 00:05:18,502 --> 00:05:22,894 - And there's a bald spot. - So what? A lot of trees have flaws. 62 00:05:22,982 --> 00:05:24,211 A lot of people have flaws. 63 00:05:25,222 --> 00:05:27,134 You can put the bad side of a tree against the wall. 64 00:05:27,222 --> 00:05:28,815 What do you do with the bad side of people? 65 00:05:29,742 --> 00:05:31,574 - That's deep. - Write it down. 66 00:05:34,422 --> 00:05:35,333 Greetings, my darling. 67 00:05:35,982 --> 00:05:38,417 Be a dear and get 5,000 out of petty cash for me. 68 00:05:38,502 --> 00:05:39,413 Not a problem. 69 00:05:39,902 --> 00:05:41,894 Got some stuff for you to sign here, sir. 70 00:05:43,102 --> 00:05:46,140 Did you know that the builders of the great cathedrals of Europe 71 00:05:46,222 --> 00:05:48,612 would leave a small flaw in the stone somewhere 72 00:05:48,702 --> 00:05:51,012 just to acknowledge that only God is perfect? 73 00:05:51,102 --> 00:05:52,138 Where do you learn all this stuff? 74 00:05:52,222 --> 00:05:53,576 College of life, my boy. 75 00:05:53,662 --> 00:05:56,097 Well, we've got the gardener's Christmas bonus, 76 00:05:56,182 --> 00:05:57,741 the extra security cameras for your villa, 77 00:05:57,822 --> 00:05:59,541 the bonus you asked me to pay out to the entire staff, 78 00:05:59,662 --> 00:06:02,973 live animals for the nativity scene. The camels were a little expensive. 79 00:06:03,062 --> 00:06:04,940 You can't a nativity without camels. 80 00:06:05,382 --> 00:06:06,816 The Wise Men came from the East. 81 00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:08,018 Got to give them respect. 82 00:06:08,102 --> 00:06:10,981 Oh, and we have a letter from the Rotary Club 83 00:06:11,222 --> 00:06:12,053 confirming your acceptance 84 00:06:12,142 --> 00:06:14,452 - of Man of the Year Honors... - I can't accept. Can't accept. 85 00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:16,615 I'm uncomfortable in the limelight. 86 00:06:17,222 --> 00:06:18,417 You seem comfortable in the limelight. 87 00:06:18,622 --> 00:06:21,660 My golf clubs! Oh, perfect, perfect! 88 00:06:21,742 --> 00:06:24,735 So, I had them close the face on the driver by a degree and a half. 89 00:06:24,822 --> 00:06:26,893 You've been slicing a little recently. Should take care of it. 90 00:06:27,022 --> 00:06:28,092 Good, good, good. 91 00:06:28,582 --> 00:06:31,495 I think I'll just run on out to the range and let the big dogs eat. 92 00:06:31,582 --> 00:06:32,538 Oh, Duke! 93 00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:34,173 Hm? 94 00:06:34,702 --> 00:06:36,341 - Five thou. Mm-hm. - Thank you, my darlin'. 95 00:06:41,262 --> 00:06:43,094 Duke, you checkin' me out? 96 00:06:43,422 --> 00:06:45,414 Every delicious inch. 97 00:06:45,542 --> 00:06:47,181 That's a nice tree you got this year. 98 00:06:47,662 --> 00:06:48,573 Well, thank you, 99 00:06:48,662 --> 00:06:50,619 but I'm a little concerned that some of the residents 100 00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:52,659 might not like a flocked tree. 101 00:06:53,502 --> 00:06:55,733 Well, you know me, Duke. 102 00:06:57,262 --> 00:06:59,857 I like a nice flockin' from time to time. 103 00:07:00,302 --> 00:07:03,136 A bit of Henkell's Trocken for my darlin'? 104 00:07:03,222 --> 00:07:05,578 Whatever. 105 00:07:05,662 --> 00:07:09,451 It's a little before my bedtime, but... 106 00:07:09,782 --> 00:07:14,061 Aw, it's always your bedtime, Duke. 107 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,702 But darlin', you know a man's nature is a man's... 108 00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:26,219 Hey, why don't I go and enhance the fireplace in the boudoir. 109 00:07:26,582 --> 00:07:27,379 Would you like that? 110 00:07:27,462 --> 00:07:29,021 - Yeah, I would. - Okay! 111 00:07:38,462 --> 00:07:40,579 Hope you don't mind. I let myself in. 112 00:07:41,542 --> 00:07:42,453 Pour moi? 113 00:07:43,142 --> 00:07:46,818 Uh... of course! 114 00:07:49,742 --> 00:07:52,814 What is the color of that silk against your skin? 115 00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:56,574 There's a painting by Caravaggio. You could have been... 116 00:07:56,662 --> 00:07:57,982 It's plum. 117 00:07:58,702 --> 00:07:59,977 And you're my plum. 118 00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:01,018 Oh! 119 00:08:01,102 --> 00:08:06,382 Listen, darling, I... I'm just gonna go and... lock up, turn out all the lights, 120 00:08:06,462 --> 00:08:09,261 and come back and submit to your every whim. 121 00:08:09,342 --> 00:08:12,221 My every whim. 122 00:08:13,342 --> 00:08:15,811 Oh... Hurry back. 123 00:08:23,742 --> 00:08:27,531 Uh... Marguerite darlin', I... I think the... 124 00:08:28,262 --> 00:08:32,222 Zoloft and the Lipitor are kicking in a little early on me. 125 00:08:32,302 --> 00:08:33,861 I... I feel woozy. 126 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,702 - Hold on a minute. - What? 127 00:08:36,142 --> 00:08:37,861 Have you got another woman in there? 128 00:08:37,942 --> 00:08:43,222 Oh, Marguerite... you hurt me with your accusation. 129 00:08:43,302 --> 00:08:47,615 You twist the knife. The wound bleeds. 130 00:08:47,702 --> 00:08:50,740 You... you get such pleasure out... out of my discomfort. 131 00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:52,654 - I... I just don't... - Hold on a second, mister. 132 00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:55,415 You didn't answer my question. 133 00:08:55,742 --> 00:08:57,699 Darling, trust me... 134 00:08:58,982 --> 00:09:01,133 I speak from the heart when I say... 135 00:09:04,822 --> 00:09:06,654 Yes, there's a woman in the bedroom. 136 00:09:06,742 --> 00:09:08,938 All right. Well... 137 00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:14,698 I know I'm not your one and only, and we've got a grown-up relationship. 138 00:09:14,782 --> 00:09:16,739 - Yes. - So, I'll... 139 00:09:17,822 --> 00:09:18,892 Well, I'll just say good night. 140 00:09:21,302 --> 00:09:24,056 - I'm fine. - N... no! Let me, let me... 141 00:09:24,142 --> 00:09:26,498 - let me walk you to your door, okay? - Mm-hm. 142 00:09:27,462 --> 00:09:30,500 In your own way, Duke, you are strangely chivalrous. 143 00:09:30,622 --> 00:09:33,296 Merci beaucoup. 144 00:09:33,382 --> 00:09:35,817 Still a cat, of course, but you got rules. 145 00:09:35,902 --> 00:09:38,462 Aw, I consider myself a gentleman. 146 00:09:40,822 --> 00:09:47,535 And so, "Good night. Good night. Parting is such sweet sorrow. 147 00:09:48,342 --> 00:09:51,016 I shall say good night till it be 'morrow." 148 00:09:51,422 --> 00:09:54,460 Can I quote you on that? 149 00:09:54,542 --> 00:09:56,056 Well, you be my guest, Romeo. 150 00:09:56,822 --> 00:10:00,213 Actually, I'm... I'm surprised you even considered a little romance tonight 151 00:10:00,302 --> 00:10:01,372 given the circumstances. 152 00:10:02,182 --> 00:10:03,093 Circumstances? 153 00:10:03,422 --> 00:10:04,412 Well, this is your poker night. 154 00:10:05,902 --> 00:10:06,813 Ciao. 155 00:10:07,942 --> 00:10:10,411 Uh... poker? 156 00:10:12,342 --> 00:10:13,219 Poker! 157 00:10:23,062 --> 00:10:26,180 I got the feeling that the Duke 158 00:10:26,302 --> 00:10:30,216 needed a little... Roberta. 159 00:10:31,462 --> 00:10:33,977 Uh, yes. 160 00:10:34,102 --> 00:10:36,981 The Duke... the Duke always needs a little Roberta. 161 00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:43,138 Well, from the way you just said it, it sounds like a "not tonight". 162 00:10:43,862 --> 00:10:48,982 Well, I have a meeting that requires urgent attention, darling. 163 00:10:49,062 --> 00:10:51,179 - At night? - It's morning in China. 164 00:10:55,662 --> 00:10:59,019 Uh, well, good night, good night, darling. Parting is such sweet sorrow. 165 00:10:59,102 --> 00:11:05,133 "A horse, a horse. My kingdom for a horse." 166 00:11:05,822 --> 00:11:08,098 Mm-hm. 167 00:11:17,742 --> 00:11:20,257 So, a guy comes home from the doctor's. 168 00:11:20,342 --> 00:11:23,301 He tells his wife, "Honey, I got terrible news." 169 00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:24,213 Terrible news. 170 00:11:24,302 --> 00:11:26,692 "Doctor says, I only got 12 hours to live." 171 00:11:26,822 --> 00:11:29,291 - Uh-huh. - Wife says, "Oh dear, that's terrible. 172 00:11:29,382 --> 00:11:32,739 That's terrible. I'll do anything for you. Whatever you want." 173 00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:37,214 And he says, "I want to have wild sex with you all night long." 174 00:11:37,982 --> 00:11:39,211 And she looks at him and says, 175 00:11:39,302 --> 00:11:41,578 "Easy for you to say. You don't have to get up in the morning." 176 00:11:41,662 --> 00:11:45,622 That's funny! That's very funny! 177 00:11:45,702 --> 00:11:47,853 All right. Who's betting? Who's betting? Who's betting? 178 00:11:47,942 --> 00:11:52,255 It's me, and I'm goin' in for big money. 'cause I wanna take everything you got. 179 00:11:52,342 --> 00:11:54,698 I'll see your 100 and raise you two. 180 00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:57,456 That' a 100 bucks! 181 00:11:57,542 --> 00:11:59,215 I'll see you, I'll see you. 182 00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:00,975 I heard this is where the action's at. 183 00:12:01,062 --> 00:12:01,973 Who the hell are you? 184 00:12:02,062 --> 00:12:04,418 I'm Leo McKay. I'm moving into um... 185 00:12:04,502 --> 00:12:06,414 Villa 71. Welcome, neighbor. 186 00:12:06,502 --> 00:12:07,413 Hi. 187 00:12:08,302 --> 00:12:11,613 I'm Duke Diver, resident manager of this little corner of paradise. 188 00:12:11,742 --> 00:12:14,940 - These are my cronies. - Duke's a legend. 189 00:12:15,022 --> 00:12:16,422 Legends ain't what they used to be, are they? 190 00:12:16,502 --> 00:12:17,936 Yeah, but you don't know Duke. 191 00:12:18,022 --> 00:12:20,059 He's a resident champion of everything around here. 192 00:12:20,142 --> 00:12:21,496 Guys, you're embarrassing me. 193 00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:24,502 I'm just a country boy tryin' to fade into the sunset 194 00:12:24,582 --> 00:12:25,698 with smile on my face. 195 00:12:25,782 --> 00:12:26,818 Ain't we all? 196 00:12:26,902 --> 00:12:29,292 But I gotta warn you, cousin, we play for real money here. 197 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:31,772 Well, I'll try to keep up. 198 00:12:32,542 --> 00:12:34,454 - Oh. - Holy shit... That's a wad, man! 199 00:12:36,502 --> 00:12:37,822 Shit just got real up in here! 200 00:12:37,902 --> 00:12:40,053 That's my alimony, I can't, man, this is two months... 201 00:12:40,142 --> 00:12:40,939 Okay. 202 00:12:41,062 --> 00:12:42,212 Now, where you from, Leo? 203 00:12:42,542 --> 00:12:46,456 I'm a citizen of the world. Mogadishu, Jakarta, Kabul. 204 00:12:47,182 --> 00:12:48,662 All the vacation spots. 205 00:12:49,142 --> 00:12:51,782 - Military? - No. Ex-military. 206 00:12:51,862 --> 00:12:54,013 Currently entrepreneur. 207 00:12:54,542 --> 00:12:56,977 International trade. I buy stuff, sell stuff. 208 00:12:57,062 --> 00:12:57,973 Like? 209 00:12:58,342 --> 00:13:01,858 Gas, guns, oil, trains, trucks. Big stuff. I like big stuff. 210 00:13:05,222 --> 00:13:06,736 And a man of mystery. 211 00:13:09,542 --> 00:13:10,692 How about we play some cards? 212 00:13:11,102 --> 00:13:12,616 What's your game, cousin? 213 00:13:12,702 --> 00:13:16,855 You like Five Card Draw, Stud, Omaha, Texas Hold 'Em? 214 00:13:16,942 --> 00:13:17,853 Texas will do. 215 00:13:18,462 --> 00:13:19,373 Deal 'em, Joey. 216 00:13:19,622 --> 00:13:22,091 And a five and a ten, ten. 217 00:13:22,422 --> 00:13:23,333 Ace high. 218 00:13:23,822 --> 00:13:24,938 Why don't we double that. 219 00:13:25,022 --> 00:13:27,821 - Wow. - You guys are bank robbers. 220 00:13:27,942 --> 00:13:29,501 Gotta know when to fold. 221 00:13:30,742 --> 00:13:33,337 My 700. Here's the river. 222 00:13:34,462 --> 00:13:37,182 Look at that! 223 00:13:37,262 --> 00:13:41,176 I'm gonna... just for the shit's sake, I'm gonna bump it two. 224 00:13:41,262 --> 00:13:42,093 There's nine. 225 00:13:42,182 --> 00:13:43,775 - Burt, what are you? You all-in? - I'm out. 226 00:13:44,062 --> 00:13:45,576 And I'm all-in. 227 00:13:45,662 --> 00:13:47,654 Oh man! What we gonna do? 228 00:13:47,742 --> 00:13:49,813 Okay, y'all. Read 'em and weep. 229 00:13:49,902 --> 00:13:52,462 - Full boat, aces up. - Holy shit! 230 00:13:52,542 --> 00:13:53,771 We warned ya, Leo! 231 00:13:55,382 --> 00:13:57,260 - That's four tens. - What? 232 00:13:58,062 --> 00:14:01,373 - Four tens. - Damn, he beat Duke. 233 00:14:01,462 --> 00:14:02,782 I am deader than dead. 234 00:14:02,862 --> 00:14:04,182 I'm all cleaned out. 235 00:14:05,022 --> 00:14:05,899 Damn, I was lucky! 236 00:14:06,022 --> 00:14:08,662 Sometimes you step in horseshit and you wind up smellin'... 237 00:14:08,742 --> 00:14:11,462 Excuse me, you know, I think that one's mine. 238 00:14:12,302 --> 00:14:13,531 I didn't see that. 239 00:14:13,622 --> 00:14:16,296 What do you want? Why'd you come here? 240 00:14:16,502 --> 00:14:19,062 I came here to continue developing my business empire 241 00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:21,734 while working on my shaky golf game. 242 00:14:22,302 --> 00:14:24,612 Oh, you... you play golf? 243 00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:27,815 Not well, but honestly and earnestly. 244 00:14:27,902 --> 00:14:30,462 Well, uh, perhaps you will give me the chance 245 00:14:30,542 --> 00:14:32,454 to win back my money on the golf course. 246 00:14:32,542 --> 00:14:33,532 Perhaps I will. 247 00:14:34,742 --> 00:14:38,577 You know, a true gentleman does not walk away a winner. 248 00:14:39,102 --> 00:14:41,571 A true gentleman keeps the game alive. 249 00:14:42,862 --> 00:14:46,219 Oh, my, my, my, my! Behold the evidence. 250 00:14:46,702 --> 00:14:48,580 Whatever can it mean? 251 00:14:48,662 --> 00:14:52,178 She's lookin' for deep comfort and companionship and maybe a soulmate. 252 00:14:52,262 --> 00:14:53,252 Nuh-uh. 253 00:14:53,862 --> 00:14:55,296 She's not lookin' for soulmate. 254 00:14:55,382 --> 00:14:58,580 She's lookin' for a few precious hours of intimate connections 255 00:14:58,702 --> 00:15:00,421 with no questions asked. 256 00:15:00,502 --> 00:15:02,858 Maybe I'll just go over there and pick up the tab, huh? 257 00:15:02,942 --> 00:15:03,898 Can't compete with that. 258 00:15:07,022 --> 00:15:07,933 Shit! 259 00:15:08,982 --> 00:15:11,099 Well, could if I wanted to. 260 00:15:12,862 --> 00:15:13,818 Can I buy you another round? 261 00:15:13,902 --> 00:15:15,814 You can scram is what you can do. 262 00:15:21,342 --> 00:15:25,222 ♪ The first noel ♪ 263 00:15:25,302 --> 00:15:28,420 ♪ The angel did say ♪ 264 00:15:28,502 --> 00:15:35,295 ♪ Was to certain poor shepherds ♪ ♪ In fields as they lay ♪ 265 00:15:35,822 --> 00:15:42,262 ♪ In fields where they ♪ ♪ Lay keeping their sheep ♪ 266 00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:44,301 Season's greetin's, y'all. 267 00:15:44,542 --> 00:15:47,933 Good news to report. Mike Shank from villa 68 268 00:15:48,022 --> 00:15:50,582 had a successful hip replacement surgery 269 00:15:50,662 --> 00:15:54,497 and should be back to the Villa Capri in just a few days. 270 00:15:54,582 --> 00:15:55,618 What the... 271 00:15:56,902 --> 00:15:59,622 That's not my regular camel guy. Where's my regular camel guy? 272 00:15:59,942 --> 00:16:01,376 Uh, he's uh, under the weather. 273 00:16:02,302 --> 00:16:05,693 Oh, uh, corporate is sending a regional director down 274 00:16:05,782 --> 00:16:07,535 to do a year-end review in case it... 275 00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:09,133 slipped your mind. 276 00:16:09,222 --> 00:16:14,536 I will look down upon him from a great height. Bring him on. 277 00:16:14,742 --> 00:16:16,335 Yeah. Bring him on. 278 00:16:17,942 --> 00:16:21,458 Ladies, have you seen the new guy? 279 00:16:22,102 --> 00:16:24,537 He's moving into villa 71. 280 00:16:24,662 --> 00:16:27,860 There's new food on the buffet. 281 00:16:27,942 --> 00:16:28,978 Yes. 282 00:16:29,062 --> 00:16:31,782 Oh, in the air, there's a feelin' of Christmas. 283 00:16:31,862 --> 00:16:34,855 I'm Leo McKay, and you young ladies might be... 284 00:16:38,422 --> 00:16:39,219 Look at that. 285 00:16:39,342 --> 00:16:43,256 I spent years juggling stories to keep those women apart, 286 00:16:43,342 --> 00:16:45,982 and in 20 minutes, he's got them lined up for a three-way. 287 00:16:46,062 --> 00:16:49,294 Well, uh, four-way if anybody's countin'. 288 00:16:49,382 --> 00:16:51,260 He's not showing me any respect. 289 00:16:51,342 --> 00:16:52,776 - No respect. - No. Nothin'. 290 00:16:52,862 --> 00:16:55,696 But he's gonna find out this is my town. 291 00:16:56,222 --> 00:16:58,373 You're the Duke and this is your domain. I told you. 292 00:16:58,662 --> 00:17:00,858 - Don't upset him, Larry! - Duke don't like that. 293 00:17:07,102 --> 00:17:08,456 - Well, hello. - Hello. 294 00:17:08,582 --> 00:17:11,302 I'm Roberta. We met earlier. 295 00:17:11,742 --> 00:17:13,654 You know, I neglected to mention 296 00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:17,975 that as president of the Glad-Handers Welcome Wagon Club 297 00:17:18,062 --> 00:17:24,138 here at Villa Capri Resort Community, I just wanted to say Merry Christmas. 298 00:17:25,902 --> 00:17:29,737 Oh! You know, I could help you fix the place up. 299 00:17:29,822 --> 00:17:31,893 You know, a little Feng Shui. 300 00:17:32,822 --> 00:17:33,733 Oh! 301 00:17:35,862 --> 00:17:37,979 - I got skills. - I'll bet you do. 302 00:17:38,062 --> 00:17:40,736 What you got back here? The dinin' room? 303 00:17:41,702 --> 00:17:44,012 The bedroom. Giddy-up! 304 00:17:51,022 --> 00:17:54,811 Hi. I'm Marguerite with the Welcome Wagon Club. 305 00:17:54,902 --> 00:17:57,178 - Are you a Glad-Hander? - How'd you know? 306 00:17:58,262 --> 00:18:02,336 As secretary-treasurer, I brought a little somethin' to warm up your place. 307 00:18:02,422 --> 00:18:05,017 - A work of art. - My sentiments exactly. 308 00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:08,498 - And thank you. - For what? 309 00:18:08,582 --> 00:18:12,417 Did you just invite me in for a little vino? 310 00:18:13,702 --> 00:18:16,092 Red? I love red. 311 00:18:16,622 --> 00:18:19,091 I love white. I love it all. 312 00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:22,892 Well, then how about a lovely Margaux for a lovely Margot? Can I call you that? 313 00:18:22,982 --> 00:18:24,701 You can call me whatever you like. 314 00:18:25,262 --> 00:18:27,697 By the way, I am in villa 52. 315 00:18:27,782 --> 00:18:30,297 And I'm in villa 36. What you gonna call me? 316 00:18:30,382 --> 00:18:32,692 Oh my God! How did you get here before me? 317 00:18:32,782 --> 00:18:35,138 You know that the by-laws of our club clearly state 318 00:18:35,222 --> 00:18:37,691 that the president and not the secretary-treasurer 319 00:18:37,782 --> 00:18:39,341 should be the first Welcomer on the scene. 320 00:18:39,462 --> 00:18:41,215 Okay, well let's just call this an unofficial visit. 321 00:18:41,302 --> 00:18:42,258 - Unofficial? - Why don't we just have a taste 322 00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:43,532 of this delightful vintage? 323 00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:46,774 - Oh! - Don we now our straight apparel. 324 00:18:46,862 --> 00:18:48,216 - Oh, my God! - And what office 325 00:18:48,302 --> 00:18:51,056 of Glad-Handers Welcome Wagon Club might you hold? 326 00:18:51,462 --> 00:18:53,181 Sergeant-at-arms. 327 00:18:53,262 --> 00:18:55,493 Flag flying stiff and ready, I bet. 328 00:18:55,582 --> 00:18:57,221 I think this party's just gettin' started. 329 00:18:57,302 --> 00:19:00,181 - Here, why don't I take you to dinner? - All of us? 330 00:19:03,582 --> 00:19:04,652 Thank you. 331 00:19:04,742 --> 00:19:06,938 - Oh, boy. - Oh, yes, sir. 332 00:19:07,782 --> 00:19:09,933 Look at him. Look at him. 333 00:19:11,982 --> 00:19:13,735 He's got all three of 'em? 334 00:19:15,462 --> 00:19:17,852 He's bangin' your entire harem, boss. 335 00:19:17,942 --> 00:19:21,014 Oh my God! Some big, brass huevos he's got! 336 00:19:21,342 --> 00:19:22,617 Is he punkin' you, boss? 337 00:19:23,102 --> 00:19:25,139 He's playin' into my hand is what he's doin'. 338 00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:28,619 He said his golf game is shaky, am I right? 339 00:19:28,702 --> 00:19:30,102 - That's what he said. - That's what he said. 340 00:19:30,222 --> 00:19:34,136 Well, gentlemen, who knows this golf course better than me? 341 00:19:34,702 --> 00:19:38,218 - Old cowboy's in trouble now. - Oh, I feel bad for Leo. 342 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,180 We'll see. 343 00:19:47,702 --> 00:19:52,140 I hereby challenge you to 18 holes of golf tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. sharp. 344 00:19:55,142 --> 00:19:56,371 Cowboy done stepped in it now. 345 00:20:03,222 --> 00:20:06,260 We hear that you consider yourself a citizen of the world. 346 00:20:06,382 --> 00:20:08,977 Now exactly what does that mean to you? 347 00:20:09,062 --> 00:20:10,052 It means that I have traveled 348 00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:12,737 from the Cape of Good Hope to the Black Sea, 349 00:20:12,822 --> 00:20:16,577 from Machu Picchu to Brunelleschi's Dome. 350 00:20:16,822 --> 00:20:20,020 I have been to the birthplace of Mr. Shakespeare. 351 00:20:21,102 --> 00:20:24,140 And I have been to the gravesite of Mr. Lombardi. 352 00:20:24,222 --> 00:20:25,258 Oh. 353 00:20:27,022 --> 00:20:31,858 I rose from the dusty fields to the gilded halls of power, 354 00:20:31,942 --> 00:20:34,377 first in the military and then in the business world, 355 00:20:34,462 --> 00:20:37,580 and yet, to this day, I retain my touch to the common man! 356 00:20:38,262 --> 00:20:39,981 For that is who I am. 357 00:20:40,062 --> 00:20:43,499 Oh, Mr. McKay, you are indeed a poet. 358 00:20:43,582 --> 00:20:45,892 I'm not a poet but I have read the great works. 359 00:20:46,742 --> 00:20:48,415 Would you favor us with a poem? 360 00:20:48,502 --> 00:20:49,731 Pretty please. 361 00:20:49,822 --> 00:20:52,815 Well, why not? Um, Baudelaire? 362 00:20:52,902 --> 00:20:54,177 More modernist, maybe? 363 00:20:54,262 --> 00:20:56,458 Yeats? Williams? Cummings? 364 00:20:56,542 --> 00:21:01,901 Or... or perhaps something a little more... earthier with a... 365 00:21:02,222 --> 00:21:04,020 backdrop of Christmas. 366 00:21:04,102 --> 00:21:05,252 The last one. 367 00:21:05,662 --> 00:21:06,573 May I? 368 00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:08,053 Uh.. 369 00:21:09,342 --> 00:21:11,777 "There are strange things done in the midnight sun 370 00:21:11,862 --> 00:21:13,819 By the men who moil for gold; 371 00:21:14,422 --> 00:21:17,335 The Artic trails have their savage tales 372 00:21:17,422 --> 00:21:19,732 That will make your blood run cold; 373 00:21:19,822 --> 00:21:21,893 The Northern Lights have seen queer sights, 374 00:21:21,982 --> 00:21:23,575 But the queerest they ever did see 375 00:21:23,662 --> 00:21:24,937 Was that night on the marge 376 00:21:25,022 --> 00:21:28,299 of Lake Lebarge I cremated Sam McGee." 377 00:21:28,822 --> 00:21:31,496 - Romeo! Romeo! - "Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee..." 378 00:21:32,102 --> 00:21:33,980 Oh, Romeo! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 379 00:21:34,062 --> 00:21:35,542 I'm sorry, he broke away. 380 00:21:35,822 --> 00:21:38,462 He's a sweetheart but I can never shut him up. 381 00:21:38,542 --> 00:21:41,501 Sit. Be a good dog. 382 00:21:42,222 --> 00:21:43,861 Sit down. 383 00:21:47,502 --> 00:21:48,413 How'd you do that? 384 00:21:48,782 --> 00:21:49,932 I like dogs. 385 00:21:50,022 --> 00:21:51,172 Oh! Yeah? 386 00:21:52,622 --> 00:21:55,012 - I'm Leo McKay. - Oh, Suzie Quince. 387 00:21:55,102 --> 00:21:56,741 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 388 00:21:57,302 --> 00:22:00,022 I'm so sorry to interrupt whatever it is you're doing. 389 00:22:00,102 --> 00:22:01,252 That's quite all right. 390 00:22:02,742 --> 00:22:04,142 Okay. Well, carry on. 391 00:22:07,822 --> 00:22:11,099 "On Christmas Day we were mushing our way along the Dawson trail. 392 00:22:11,462 --> 00:22:13,772 Talk of your cold! Through the parkas fold. 393 00:22:13,862 --> 00:22:14,898 It stabbed like a... 394 00:22:17,622 --> 00:22:20,740 it stabbed like a driven nail." 395 00:22:32,142 --> 00:22:33,462 Sr. Jiménez! 396 00:22:33,542 --> 00:22:35,932 Miguel Jiménez! That's it. 397 00:22:36,422 --> 00:22:37,378 Here he comes. 398 00:22:37,462 --> 00:22:39,579 That's it. Loosen up, Dukie. 399 00:22:39,702 --> 00:22:40,852 You got 'em now. 400 00:22:43,902 --> 00:22:45,780 Good morning! I accept your challenge. 401 00:22:46,142 --> 00:22:47,576 Well, I'm loose as a goose. 402 00:22:47,902 --> 00:22:51,862 Mark Twain said that golf is a good walk spoiled, but I say... 403 00:22:53,022 --> 00:22:54,422 It's a good walk enhanced. 404 00:22:54,502 --> 00:22:56,494 Except that neither one of us is walking, huh? 405 00:22:56,582 --> 00:22:59,541 Details, details, details. 406 00:22:59,622 --> 00:23:00,578 I am a big picture man. 407 00:23:02,942 --> 00:23:04,899 Uh, boss, we got a problem. 408 00:23:04,982 --> 00:23:06,860 - What? - This guy can flat-out play! 409 00:23:06,942 --> 00:23:08,535 He said his game was shaky. 410 00:23:08,942 --> 00:23:11,059 His shaky is better than your shaky. 411 00:23:11,142 --> 00:23:12,462 - Wait... - Boss. 412 00:23:12,702 --> 00:23:14,136 We watched him warm up this morning. 413 00:23:14,222 --> 00:23:16,896 This guy can flat out hit. I ain't lyin'. 414 00:23:17,222 --> 00:23:18,292 I got a short game. 415 00:23:18,382 --> 00:23:21,136 He's got a short game, too, and a long game. 416 00:23:21,222 --> 00:23:22,258 I assume I have the honors. 417 00:23:22,342 --> 00:23:23,219 Uh, yes, you do. 418 00:23:23,302 --> 00:23:26,534 Um, just a word of caution. Out of bounds is to your right. 419 00:23:26,622 --> 00:23:28,215 That's the way I like it. 420 00:23:28,302 --> 00:23:29,372 It's to the left. 421 00:23:40,942 --> 00:23:42,661 Oh shit! The guy can hit the ball. 422 00:23:43,462 --> 00:23:45,738 Is that a legal club? I don't think that's a legal club. 423 00:23:45,822 --> 00:23:47,461 My side bet with you is off. 424 00:23:47,542 --> 00:23:49,101 We might as well get some new girlfriends. 425 00:23:49,182 --> 00:23:51,617 Thanks for the confidence, fellas. Gee whiz! 426 00:23:51,702 --> 00:23:54,297 Well, you're a thinking man. It's a thinking man's game. 427 00:23:54,382 --> 00:23:56,374 I think I'm gonna hit a three wood out here. 428 00:23:56,462 --> 00:23:57,498 Three wood. Good idea. 429 00:23:57,582 --> 00:23:58,698 - Are you sure? - Yeah that'll be good. 430 00:23:58,822 --> 00:24:01,178 Yeah, okay. 431 00:24:02,062 --> 00:24:02,973 Let it fly. 432 00:24:03,662 --> 00:24:04,857 Oh shit! 433 00:24:06,702 --> 00:24:07,977 It's a damn cobra! 434 00:24:08,062 --> 00:24:10,702 - Gun! Gun! - I... I... I got it! I got it! 435 00:24:11,542 --> 00:24:13,454 - Damn! - I got it! I got it! 436 00:24:13,542 --> 00:24:14,453 You see that? 437 00:24:19,422 --> 00:24:21,334 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! 438 00:24:22,022 --> 00:24:23,900 Okay, die, viper! 439 00:24:25,862 --> 00:24:27,740 - You got him surrounded. - Still movin'! 440 00:24:29,422 --> 00:24:30,902 Don't hurt yourself with that thing. 441 00:24:32,982 --> 00:24:34,541 Somebody bring a beer cooler, please. 442 00:24:39,542 --> 00:24:41,454 Somebody put a cap on... put a top on the bucket. 443 00:24:43,462 --> 00:24:45,294 I never had you figured for a man packin' iron 444 00:24:45,382 --> 00:24:46,657 even if it is a peashooter. 445 00:24:47,182 --> 00:24:49,458 You never know who's lurkin' around. 446 00:24:49,942 --> 00:24:53,014 Take him to the Serpentarium in 29 Palms. 447 00:24:53,102 --> 00:24:55,776 Look out! Look out! 448 00:24:55,862 --> 00:24:58,172 Sit... sit on that thing. Sit on it, you're the biggest. 449 00:24:58,262 --> 00:24:59,173 Come on. 450 00:25:03,222 --> 00:25:05,054 Oh! Goddamn! 451 00:25:05,182 --> 00:25:07,253 Wait! Wait! 452 00:25:10,622 --> 00:25:13,182 - You're good. Sit on it now. Sit down. - Sit down. 453 00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:14,093 Oh, we're good. 454 00:25:14,182 --> 00:25:15,013 I almost got bit. 455 00:25:15,102 --> 00:25:16,502 I'm not going anywhere near that golf bag. 456 00:25:16,582 --> 00:25:17,732 You bailin' out of our game? 457 00:25:17,862 --> 00:25:21,253 I have trouble swingin' a golf club with a rattlesnake wrapped around it, Leo. 458 00:25:21,342 --> 00:25:26,337 - You're afraid to play me. - I'm not afraid of anything or anyone. 459 00:25:29,822 --> 00:25:30,733 Coward. 460 00:25:31,862 --> 00:25:32,932 Doin' a good job, Burt. 461 00:25:33,022 --> 00:25:36,698 - Come on, I need a drink. - I think it's happy hour. 462 00:25:36,982 --> 00:25:41,101 - ...sit on that thing... Leo, hell am I supposed to do now? 463 00:25:41,542 --> 00:25:43,101 Hell, I don't know. Not my problem. 464 00:25:44,662 --> 00:25:45,573 Sit on it! 465 00:25:46,862 --> 00:25:50,094 When a man lets another man take care of his golf bag, Jimmy, 466 00:25:50,182 --> 00:25:51,821 he has certain expectations. 467 00:25:51,902 --> 00:25:55,862 You think a snake zipped himself into a pocket in my bag? 468 00:25:55,982 --> 00:25:58,292 Snakes don't have opposable thumbs. 469 00:25:59,302 --> 00:26:00,656 This was not an accident. 470 00:26:02,862 --> 00:26:03,773 Shit! 471 00:26:06,222 --> 00:26:07,258 What took you so long? 472 00:26:07,942 --> 00:26:08,853 Oh, thank you. 473 00:26:10,782 --> 00:26:12,341 I see I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson. 474 00:26:12,422 --> 00:26:14,300 I would love to have another poker lesson 475 00:26:14,382 --> 00:26:16,499 unless you find it easier just to write me a check. 476 00:26:17,062 --> 00:26:19,293 Tell me somethin', did you move to Villa Capri 477 00:26:19,422 --> 00:26:20,538 just to piss me off? 478 00:26:20,622 --> 00:26:22,454 No, that was just a happy by-product. 479 00:26:22,542 --> 00:26:24,659 But this anger is doin' you a lot of good. 480 00:26:24,742 --> 00:26:26,461 It gets the blood circulating throughout your entire body 481 00:26:26,542 --> 00:26:27,737 instead of down there in your little ol'... 482 00:26:27,822 --> 00:26:30,018 You're lucky I have a commitment of a higher calling at home. 483 00:26:31,182 --> 00:26:34,459 You and I... just gettin' started. 484 00:26:36,742 --> 00:26:37,698 I can hardly wait. 485 00:26:39,142 --> 00:26:40,053 Nice fella. 486 00:26:49,422 --> 00:26:50,333 Tell me he's dead. 487 00:26:53,222 --> 00:26:54,451 I... I... I know! 488 00:26:54,582 --> 00:26:56,494 I told you to make it look like an accident, 489 00:26:56,582 --> 00:26:58,733 but a snake in his golf bag? 490 00:26:59,742 --> 00:27:00,653 Sweetie, 491 00:27:01,982 --> 00:27:03,701 murder him the old-fashioned way. 492 00:27:07,022 --> 00:27:08,342 Attention, residents: 493 00:27:08,422 --> 00:27:11,859 The annual tree lighting is about to begin in the banquet hall. 494 00:27:12,222 --> 00:27:15,533 Come enjoy the holiday season, sip some eggnog, 495 00:27:15,622 --> 00:27:18,615 and see everyone's favorite Santa Claus. 496 00:27:21,782 --> 00:27:24,297 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪ 497 00:27:24,542 --> 00:27:28,582 ♪ 'Tis the season ♪ ♪ To be jolly fa-la-la... ♪ 498 00:27:31,422 --> 00:27:33,061 Hey, uh, whoa, whoa! 499 00:27:33,302 --> 00:27:35,294 Santa, what the hell do you think you're doin'? 500 00:27:35,382 --> 00:27:37,101 - This is my job. - Oh, no, no, no. It's not. 501 00:27:37,182 --> 00:27:39,299 I was hired by the corporation that owns Villa Capri 502 00:27:39,382 --> 00:27:42,056 and 26 other luxury villages in California. 503 00:27:42,422 --> 00:27:45,221 My party rental company will supply Santas, Easter Bunnies, 504 00:27:45,342 --> 00:27:48,460 fife and drum trios for the Fourth, and all holidays through the year. 505 00:27:48,782 --> 00:27:49,738 I just signed the contract. 506 00:27:49,822 --> 00:27:50,858 Well, ho, ho, ho. 507 00:27:51,102 --> 00:27:52,695 You're tellin' me you're a corporate Santa? 508 00:27:52,782 --> 00:27:55,217 - It's a gig. - It's a sacred trust! 509 00:27:55,302 --> 00:27:57,612 Sacred trust to you. 20 bucks an hour to me. 510 00:27:58,422 --> 00:28:00,698 ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪ 511 00:28:00,782 --> 00:28:01,852 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la... ♪ 512 00:28:01,982 --> 00:28:03,018 It's a disgrace. 513 00:28:03,582 --> 00:28:05,175 ♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪ 514 00:28:05,262 --> 00:28:07,413 Hello, Palms Springs! Thank you all for comin' out. 515 00:28:07,502 --> 00:28:08,856 Duke's not gonna like this. 516 00:28:09,262 --> 00:28:11,697 - Who is this guy? - Here comes the freight train. 517 00:28:13,062 --> 00:28:14,735 I got your ho-ho right here. 518 00:28:16,622 --> 00:28:17,578 Yes! 519 00:28:18,702 --> 00:28:22,059 That ain't the real Santa. I'm the real Santa. 520 00:28:22,502 --> 00:28:24,573 This guy's a fraud, a phony. 521 00:28:24,662 --> 00:28:26,972 He's a sleazy, corporate heathen! 522 00:28:34,502 --> 00:28:35,538 Go, Black Santa! 523 00:28:41,182 --> 00:28:44,095 There ya go! Back to the North Pole! 524 00:28:51,982 --> 00:28:52,972 What got into you? 525 00:28:53,782 --> 00:28:55,421 I don't like people fucking with Santa Claus. 526 00:29:00,342 --> 00:29:01,253 Arturo. 527 00:29:02,862 --> 00:29:03,773 Here you are, gentlemen. 528 00:29:03,862 --> 00:29:07,492 You, my friend, are a gentleman and a scholar, 529 00:29:08,342 --> 00:29:10,652 and you are indeed here on business. 530 00:29:11,862 --> 00:29:12,773 Whatever that is. 531 00:29:12,862 --> 00:29:14,376 My business is my business, 532 00:29:14,462 --> 00:29:17,216 but your business seems to be sitting in a catbird seat 533 00:29:17,582 --> 00:29:19,972 of one-night stands and Thursday night specials 534 00:29:20,102 --> 00:29:21,422 and Tuesday nooners. 535 00:29:22,662 --> 00:29:25,461 Which holds no special satisfaction for me. 536 00:29:25,742 --> 00:29:28,098 What? No Tuesday nooners? 537 00:29:28,182 --> 00:29:30,651 I'm not interested in your girlfriends. 538 00:29:31,022 --> 00:29:36,700 But I could endure the courtship of a soulmate. 539 00:29:40,982 --> 00:29:42,018 Appreciate it, thank you. 540 00:29:42,382 --> 00:29:43,896 Good. Good boy. 541 00:29:44,222 --> 00:29:47,693 In fact, the perfect soulmate for me might very well be Miss Suzie Quince 542 00:29:48,142 --> 00:29:49,178 sitting right there. 543 00:29:49,942 --> 00:29:51,058 You... you know her name? 544 00:29:51,142 --> 00:29:52,098 I move like the wind. 545 00:29:52,182 --> 00:29:54,299 - You mean you met her already? - At a taco truck. 546 00:29:54,382 --> 00:29:55,498 You liar. 547 00:29:55,582 --> 00:29:57,255 Her dog's name is Romeo. 548 00:29:58,822 --> 00:29:59,733 Romeo? 549 00:30:02,262 --> 00:30:06,097 Well, I think Romeo is precisely what she's looking for tonight. 550 00:30:06,182 --> 00:30:08,697 Santa from the southern hemisphere. 551 00:30:10,142 --> 00:30:13,852 If she falls for a drunk Santa Claus, I've badly misjudged her character. 552 00:30:15,422 --> 00:30:16,378 Watch this. 553 00:30:18,142 --> 00:30:19,337 And I'm not drunk. 554 00:30:24,542 --> 00:30:25,419 Hi. 555 00:30:26,662 --> 00:30:27,573 Hi. 556 00:30:28,222 --> 00:30:31,977 My name is St. Nicholas. You can call me Nick. 557 00:30:32,702 --> 00:30:33,613 Susan. 558 00:30:34,622 --> 00:30:38,616 I was just... I was just doing some Christmas tree lighting and stuff 559 00:30:38,702 --> 00:30:40,773 with some people who needed some joy. 560 00:30:41,342 --> 00:30:43,937 Well, I guess a half-wit Santa who does kind deeds 561 00:30:44,062 --> 00:30:45,576 for lonely people can't do much harm. 562 00:30:45,982 --> 00:30:47,735 Then I'll take that as an invitation. 563 00:30:49,742 --> 00:30:52,132 Here we are. Christmas season. 564 00:30:53,222 --> 00:30:54,178 Nobody's home. 565 00:30:54,942 --> 00:30:56,979 Family long gone. Kids far away. 566 00:30:57,382 --> 00:31:00,420 Is there a husband lurking around? 567 00:31:01,022 --> 00:31:02,342 - Hm? - No. 568 00:31:03,582 --> 00:31:05,460 - First one flew the coop. - Ah! 569 00:31:05,742 --> 00:31:07,301 Got married again and I flew the coop. 570 00:31:07,942 --> 00:31:09,262 Lots of coops. 571 00:31:09,822 --> 00:31:11,859 - So, you'll never try it again? - Mm-mm. 572 00:31:13,102 --> 00:31:15,094 I decided my final marriage would be to my job. 573 00:31:16,342 --> 00:31:17,458 That's kind of sad. 574 00:31:17,902 --> 00:31:20,053 It's focused. It's not sad. 575 00:31:22,742 --> 00:31:24,540 You look... sad. 576 00:31:27,022 --> 00:31:29,253 Well, I've been sent here on business 577 00:31:29,342 --> 00:31:31,061 to fire someone before the year is out 578 00:31:31,662 --> 00:31:33,415 during the Christmas season, so... 579 00:31:34,382 --> 00:31:38,422 Well, if a guy is not up to the task, the quicker you do it, the better, right? 580 00:31:38,502 --> 00:31:40,459 Mm... Yeah. 581 00:31:40,542 --> 00:31:42,101 Season's greetings. Clean out your desk. 582 00:31:43,182 --> 00:31:44,218 That's not so easy. 583 00:31:46,702 --> 00:31:48,261 But at least the music cheers me up. 584 00:31:48,542 --> 00:31:52,013 I love Johnny Mathis. I have all 42 of his albums. 585 00:31:52,102 --> 00:31:53,616 - Really? - All 42. 586 00:31:54,382 --> 00:31:55,816 Johnny is a good friend of mine. 587 00:31:56,142 --> 00:31:58,020 - Come on! - No, really. 588 00:31:58,102 --> 00:31:59,422 You know Johnny Mathis? 589 00:31:59,942 --> 00:32:01,058 We're practically brothers. 590 00:32:01,502 --> 00:32:06,861 You know, your hair shines like the shun. 591 00:32:07,142 --> 00:32:08,053 The "shun"? 592 00:32:08,222 --> 00:32:10,896 You know, big-ass ball that rises in the East, 593 00:32:11,542 --> 00:32:14,899 - sets in the San Bernardino mountains. - Oh, yeah. Okay. 594 00:32:14,982 --> 00:32:16,132 - You know something? - Huh? 595 00:32:16,222 --> 00:32:17,497 - Santa Claus... - Hey. 596 00:32:18,182 --> 00:32:19,935 I think we need to go. Let this young lady 597 00:32:20,022 --> 00:32:21,376 - have some time to herself. - Thank you. 598 00:32:21,462 --> 00:32:22,498 This is Leo. 599 00:32:22,982 --> 00:32:24,974 - Leo is my buddy. - Hello, Leo. 600 00:32:25,062 --> 00:32:26,416 Gentleman and a scholar. 601 00:32:26,502 --> 00:32:27,982 I gotta get you outta here, man. You're drunk. 602 00:32:28,302 --> 00:32:30,180 - I'm not drunk, Leo. - I know. 603 00:32:30,262 --> 00:32:31,378 - Just overserved. - Come on. 604 00:32:31,502 --> 00:32:33,459 - Okay, come on. - I'll see you later. 605 00:32:33,822 --> 00:32:35,654 I appreciate the intervention, thank you. 606 00:32:39,222 --> 00:32:40,542 Yeah, good boy. 607 00:32:44,102 --> 00:32:49,780 You know, I ever tell you what a gentleman and a scholar you are? 608 00:32:49,862 --> 00:32:51,376 Yeah, you did. You did. 609 00:32:51,462 --> 00:32:53,021 Get your ass in the truck. 610 00:32:53,102 --> 00:32:54,661 Watch my knees. 611 00:32:54,982 --> 00:32:56,496 They're old knees. 612 00:32:56,862 --> 00:32:58,091 Thank you, partner. 613 00:33:01,382 --> 00:33:02,532 Thank you. 614 00:33:03,702 --> 00:33:04,818 My friend. 615 00:33:12,422 --> 00:33:16,575 Leo... You are a very mysterious man. 616 00:33:16,662 --> 00:33:18,381 I just play my cards close, that's all. 617 00:33:18,742 --> 00:33:22,895 No, I mean... I mean, I mean you're easy to talk to. 618 00:33:23,662 --> 00:33:24,573 Hm? 619 00:33:25,302 --> 00:33:30,331 And I got a big secret. Ginormous secret. 620 00:33:30,942 --> 00:33:32,979 - You wanna hear it? - No, not really, no. 621 00:33:33,062 --> 00:33:34,416 Seriously, Leo. 622 00:33:34,942 --> 00:33:36,581 - Seriously? - Yeah. 623 00:33:37,142 --> 00:33:38,292 You're not a serious man. 624 00:33:38,382 --> 00:33:39,862 A serious man would not have behaved himself 625 00:33:39,942 --> 00:33:41,820 in front of Miss Suzie Quince the way you did. 626 00:33:42,222 --> 00:33:43,133 What? 627 00:33:43,422 --> 00:33:49,658 You're just jealous because she was so receptive. You... 628 00:33:50,022 --> 00:33:51,979 You are not as charming as you think you are. 629 00:33:52,902 --> 00:33:53,813 Hey... 630 00:33:54,462 --> 00:33:56,340 agree to disagree, babe. 631 00:34:00,942 --> 00:34:03,173 - I need a cup of coffee. - You need a new liver. 632 00:34:03,302 --> 00:34:06,022 You should have seen what she was doin' with her eyes. 633 00:34:06,102 --> 00:34:08,014 I did. She was looking for an exit. 634 00:34:08,742 --> 00:34:12,099 ♪ Silent night ♪ 635 00:34:12,542 --> 00:34:15,580 ♪ Holy night ♪ 636 00:34:16,262 --> 00:34:19,653 ♪ All is calm ♪ 637 00:34:20,142 --> 00:34:23,135 ♪ All is bright ♪ 638 00:34:23,542 --> 00:34:26,262 ♪ 'Round yon virgin... ♪ 639 00:34:26,702 --> 00:34:29,297 Duke, you still rule this one side of town. 640 00:34:29,382 --> 00:34:31,101 - Yeah. - Kick corporate's ass. 641 00:34:31,582 --> 00:34:35,212 Leo's, uh, a pretty good guy. 642 00:34:35,302 --> 00:34:36,258 To the status quo. 643 00:34:36,342 --> 00:34:38,698 The way we've always done things. 644 00:34:38,782 --> 00:34:39,932 - Status quo. - Duke. 645 00:34:40,022 --> 00:34:41,172 - What? - Boss is here. 646 00:34:41,582 --> 00:34:43,096 The hell are you talkin' about? I'm the boss. 647 00:34:43,182 --> 00:34:45,458 I mean, the regional director. 648 00:34:45,542 --> 00:34:48,376 Oh, yeah. Send his sorry-ass in. 649 00:34:56,662 --> 00:34:57,857 Hello, 650 00:34:57,982 --> 00:35:00,099 I'm Suzie Quince, regional director. 651 00:35:02,222 --> 00:35:05,533 I... thought... I thought you said you were... 652 00:35:06,382 --> 00:35:10,820 sent down here to evaluate somebody's job performance, 653 00:35:10,902 --> 00:35:14,532 maybe fire them before the year was out? 654 00:35:14,982 --> 00:35:16,939 When you're not Santa Claus, are you Duke Diver? 655 00:35:17,622 --> 00:35:20,217 - Probably. - Well, when a man's not up to the task, 656 00:35:20,542 --> 00:35:22,261 it's best to get it over with quick. 657 00:35:24,742 --> 00:35:27,462 Guys, guys, why don't you go out and practice 658 00:35:27,542 --> 00:35:29,898 your shuffleboard stroke or something? 659 00:35:36,222 --> 00:35:38,179 There are many, many irregularities. 660 00:35:38,262 --> 00:35:41,175 You're damn right, and I got one I wanna report right now. 661 00:35:41,262 --> 00:35:42,093 Please do. 662 00:35:42,182 --> 00:35:47,337 They sent us a very, very bad Santa Claus. I wanna know who hired him. 663 00:35:47,422 --> 00:35:48,333 I did. 664 00:35:49,022 --> 00:35:49,853 I made a deal 665 00:35:49,942 --> 00:35:52,662 with a national party rental firm to service all our outlets. 666 00:35:53,502 --> 00:35:55,221 - Our outlets? - Yes. 667 00:35:56,022 --> 00:35:57,251 Lady, this is our home. 668 00:35:57,982 --> 00:36:00,178 We have a way of doing things here... that work. 669 00:36:00,262 --> 00:36:02,060 This isn't your company, Mr. Diver. 670 00:36:02,142 --> 00:36:04,782 - Protocols are not being followed. - Protocols? 671 00:36:05,382 --> 00:36:06,577 Everybody's happy here. 672 00:36:06,662 --> 00:36:09,860 Aren't you happy? And happiness is not a condition, lady. 673 00:36:10,342 --> 00:36:12,299 - It's a choice. - No! Okay. Well, you know what? 674 00:36:12,382 --> 00:36:14,613 I don't need your pop psychology, Dr. Phil. 675 00:36:14,702 --> 00:36:16,978 And don't knock Dr. Phil. He's a personal friend of mine. 676 00:36:17,342 --> 00:36:20,380 Oh, Johnny Mathis and Dr. Phil. 677 00:36:22,582 --> 00:36:24,175 You're an unhappy woman. 678 00:36:24,942 --> 00:36:26,501 And you're wrong about me. 679 00:36:26,582 --> 00:36:28,699 Well, happiness can be found in a lot of places 680 00:36:28,822 --> 00:36:31,382 including a fine bar late at night. 681 00:36:31,822 --> 00:36:32,733 Alone? 682 00:36:33,462 --> 00:36:34,691 - Jimmy? - Hm? 683 00:36:35,662 --> 00:36:39,576 Have the bookkeeper gather all records, receipts, contracts, 684 00:36:39,662 --> 00:36:41,460 and have them on my desk in the morning 685 00:36:41,702 --> 00:36:45,855 along with every piece of paper that Duke Diver ever signed. 686 00:36:46,342 --> 00:36:49,096 Uh, you want every single one? 687 00:36:49,182 --> 00:36:51,014 Every single one. 688 00:36:52,222 --> 00:36:53,815 I suppose you want a tour. 689 00:36:53,902 --> 00:36:55,461 Of the entire operation. 690 00:36:56,542 --> 00:36:57,453 Romeo. 691 00:36:58,502 --> 00:37:00,812 Oh shit! 692 00:37:06,302 --> 00:37:07,736 I think you're going to be very impressed 693 00:37:07,862 --> 00:37:09,216 with what we have going on here. 694 00:37:12,422 --> 00:37:14,061 Oh, tango. 695 00:37:14,542 --> 00:37:15,373 Duke's idea. 696 00:37:17,222 --> 00:37:19,259 Oh, tai chi. 697 00:37:19,342 --> 00:37:20,822 Also Duke's idea. 698 00:37:23,062 --> 00:37:26,260 Now, I think you're going to be especially impressed with this. 699 00:37:26,382 --> 00:37:28,772 - This is very important... - This is our regular Thursday class. 700 00:37:28,862 --> 00:37:31,013 Real sex, loving sex, 701 00:37:31,102 --> 00:37:34,493 affectionate, tender, nasty, dirty sex 702 00:37:34,582 --> 00:37:37,780 still must be part of your daily existence. 703 00:37:37,862 --> 00:37:40,582 The older we get, the better it gets. 704 00:37:43,262 --> 00:37:44,173 Duke's idea. 705 00:37:44,542 --> 00:37:45,612 Catching on. 706 00:37:45,702 --> 00:37:48,422 In defense of Mr. Diver, this place is always packed. 707 00:37:48,502 --> 00:37:51,062 Last week we had this expert on group sex, and he said that the... 708 00:37:51,142 --> 00:37:54,260 Oh... there's experts on that? 709 00:37:55,702 --> 00:37:56,579 Yes. 710 00:37:57,422 --> 00:37:58,856 And he was very, 711 00:37:59,982 --> 00:38:01,098 very good. 712 00:38:02,822 --> 00:38:03,733 Okay. 713 00:38:04,062 --> 00:38:06,133 I know that you feel like you might have seen enough, but 714 00:38:06,462 --> 00:38:08,579 I promise you this place is absolutely wonderful. 715 00:38:08,662 --> 00:38:10,255 The rocks. You can see the rock formations. 716 00:38:10,382 --> 00:38:11,862 I don't know if you've studied geology, 717 00:38:11,942 --> 00:38:15,140 but I just, I really hope you can come to love it here the way we all do. 718 00:38:16,262 --> 00:38:17,935 I mean, Duke is doing a great job. 719 00:38:18,022 --> 00:38:19,138 If you could just... 720 00:38:20,742 --> 00:38:22,301 It really is beautiful out here. 721 00:38:24,062 --> 00:38:24,973 Leo. 722 00:38:26,982 --> 00:38:29,417 Oh shit! Oh, this is bad. 723 00:38:29,502 --> 00:38:30,936 This is gonna be bad! 724 00:38:31,982 --> 00:38:33,336 There was some blue in there. 725 00:38:37,222 --> 00:38:38,178 That's stunning. 726 00:38:38,462 --> 00:38:39,373 Yes, you are. 727 00:38:42,462 --> 00:38:46,502 So, uh, you rescue damsels in distress, you're a poet, and you paint. 728 00:38:46,582 --> 00:38:48,301 I'm exploring my feminine side. 729 00:38:50,702 --> 00:38:54,412 So, uh, are you friends with Duke Diver? Seems like an odd combination. 730 00:38:54,502 --> 00:38:55,731 Friend is a very strong word. 731 00:38:58,262 --> 00:38:59,059 It's primal. 732 00:38:59,182 --> 00:39:00,662 Yeah. It is. 733 00:39:01,502 --> 00:39:03,937 Son of a bitch, what is he up to? 734 00:39:10,262 --> 00:39:12,652 I thought you said you had to uncover enough irregularities 735 00:39:12,742 --> 00:39:14,017 so you could fire me. 736 00:39:14,782 --> 00:39:16,262 Well, I'm still reviewing the books. 737 00:39:16,342 --> 00:39:17,822 Your friend's a painter. 738 00:39:17,902 --> 00:39:18,733 Who knew? 739 00:39:18,822 --> 00:39:20,302 It's the San Jacinto mountains. 740 00:39:20,382 --> 00:39:22,533 - It's the what? - It's the San Jacinto mountains. 741 00:39:23,942 --> 00:39:25,854 If this is the San Jacinto mountains, 742 00:39:26,182 --> 00:39:27,662 Bob Hope's house is right here. 743 00:39:27,742 --> 00:39:29,461 I'm not puttin' Bob Hope's house in my picture. 744 00:39:29,542 --> 00:39:31,215 Thought it would make it better, if you'd ask me. 745 00:39:31,302 --> 00:39:33,533 No. Do you see the influence of Cézanne... 746 00:39:33,622 --> 00:39:35,978 ...I owe everything to Cézanne. 747 00:39:36,062 --> 00:39:39,578 Oh, I see a little more expressionism than impressionism. 748 00:39:39,902 --> 00:39:42,292 A little bit more Kirchner than Cézanne. 749 00:39:42,382 --> 00:39:46,695 Maybe just a tiny touch of Friedensreich Hundertwasser. 750 00:39:46,782 --> 00:39:48,501 I remind you of Friedrich Hundertwasser? 751 00:39:49,222 --> 00:39:51,418 Hm. I may have to reassess my own work. 752 00:39:51,502 --> 00:39:53,698 This is shit! 753 00:39:54,822 --> 00:39:57,815 Romeo? Romeo! 754 00:39:57,902 --> 00:39:59,814 Oh, no, no! 755 00:40:01,942 --> 00:40:02,853 Oh, God! 756 00:40:08,982 --> 00:40:09,938 Romeo! 757 00:40:10,902 --> 00:40:11,858 Thank you. 758 00:40:12,982 --> 00:40:16,578 Oh, Leo, thank you. 759 00:40:16,662 --> 00:40:18,813 Oh, Romeo. Thank you so much. 760 00:40:18,902 --> 00:40:20,814 Hop in the truck and I will take you to the vet. 761 00:40:20,902 --> 00:40:21,813 Oh, Leo! 762 00:40:22,662 --> 00:40:23,732 Mr. Hero. 763 00:40:34,102 --> 00:40:36,492 There. Bob Hope's house. 764 00:40:37,742 --> 00:40:40,257 Looks better. It's not that damn hard. 765 00:40:40,782 --> 00:40:44,412 I have sad news to report to the Villa Capri family today. 766 00:40:44,902 --> 00:40:48,896 Mike Shank in villa 68 had a massive coronary 767 00:40:48,982 --> 00:40:51,542 late last night while I was visiting. 768 00:40:52,502 --> 00:40:54,698 My presence was a total coincidence. 769 00:40:54,902 --> 00:40:57,656 Great, fellas. This is great. This is your finest work. 770 00:40:58,022 --> 00:40:59,092 Hey, where you been, boss? 771 00:40:59,182 --> 00:41:02,539 Miss Quince. She wants my neck and Leo's bed. 772 00:41:03,382 --> 00:41:04,498 Well, what you gonna do? 773 00:41:04,582 --> 00:41:05,493 This is war! 774 00:41:06,422 --> 00:41:10,211 Everything I've worked for at Villa Capri, everything I've built is at stake. 775 00:41:10,582 --> 00:41:12,221 And if the corporation takes over, 776 00:41:12,302 --> 00:41:14,737 our very way of life disappears, gentlemen. 777 00:41:15,062 --> 00:41:16,621 Miss Quince is evil. 778 00:41:16,982 --> 00:41:19,975 - She is evil, but she's hot. - What you gonna do, boss? 779 00:41:20,982 --> 00:41:24,817 I'm gonna use my legendary charm, if I may be so humble... 780 00:41:25,302 --> 00:41:27,021 - Mm-hm. - And seduce her. 781 00:41:27,942 --> 00:41:29,934 Give her a bit of the old je ne sais quoi. 782 00:41:30,022 --> 00:41:31,217 That's Spanish, right? 783 00:41:31,822 --> 00:41:34,735 I'm gonna take the corporate starch outta that woman's knickers. 784 00:41:34,822 --> 00:41:35,812 She deserves it. 785 00:41:35,902 --> 00:41:38,622 And if there's anybody can do it, it's you, Duke. 786 00:41:38,702 --> 00:41:41,376 But first, Leo McKay. 787 00:41:41,462 --> 00:41:42,373 Mm-hm. 788 00:41:42,862 --> 00:41:43,852 I gotta take him down. 789 00:41:43,942 --> 00:41:45,296 - Oh! - Take him down? 790 00:42:04,462 --> 00:42:06,215 Tie his hind legs together with a pickin' string 791 00:42:06,302 --> 00:42:08,533 so he doesn't scratch those stitches out. 792 00:42:08,982 --> 00:42:12,692 - Uh, pickin' string? - Yarn. It's soft, a knitting yarn. 793 00:42:12,782 --> 00:42:16,332 Oh, well, thanks. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. 794 00:42:16,462 --> 00:42:18,852 I have to get back and do the company survey. 795 00:42:18,942 --> 00:42:21,741 You take your work seriously and I respect that. 796 00:42:22,822 --> 00:42:25,417 Yeah. Thank you again. I so appreciate it. 797 00:42:25,502 --> 00:42:26,413 Yes, ma'am. 798 00:42:38,622 --> 00:42:39,533 Now what? 799 00:42:40,302 --> 00:42:41,372 Renaissance Man. 800 00:42:45,142 --> 00:42:46,053 What else do you do? 801 00:42:46,822 --> 00:42:48,654 I'm on a journey of self-discovery and exploration... 802 00:42:48,742 --> 00:42:50,017 Oh, shut up! 803 00:42:56,062 --> 00:42:58,736 Villa Capri is not big enough for both of us, Leo. 804 00:42:59,342 --> 00:43:00,662 If you wanna do somethin' about that, 805 00:43:00,742 --> 00:43:02,938 I'll beat you the best of five of anything ever invented. 806 00:43:04,302 --> 00:43:06,021 Game room. One hour. 807 00:43:06,662 --> 00:43:08,301 - I'm not getting fired because you... - Make the call. 808 00:43:08,382 --> 00:43:09,293 ...forgot to make the call. 809 00:43:09,382 --> 00:43:10,657 No! I don't care if they call you... 810 00:43:10,742 --> 00:43:12,096 - Oh, good! We're all here. - Hey! 811 00:43:12,422 --> 00:43:14,493 Time to sharpen the knives, circle the wagons, 812 00:43:14,582 --> 00:43:16,653 - pull up our bootstraps and buckle down. - Hey. 813 00:43:16,742 --> 00:43:18,222 It's all here, Miss Quince. 814 00:43:18,302 --> 00:43:19,816 Great. Okay. 815 00:43:20,422 --> 00:43:23,620 So, when exactly does Duke get petty cash? 816 00:43:26,622 --> 00:43:29,581 Wh... whenever he asks for it. I... I just go and... 817 00:43:30,062 --> 00:43:31,655 Whenever he asks for it? 818 00:43:32,982 --> 00:43:36,612 You know what? This company is not his personal ATM. 819 00:43:36,702 --> 00:43:38,819 Look, Duke is an honorable man. 820 00:43:38,902 --> 00:43:41,497 I'm sure you're not going to find anything that... whoa! 821 00:43:41,582 --> 00:43:42,902 Hm, my God! 822 00:43:43,382 --> 00:43:46,420 Honorable. What do you call these? 823 00:43:46,902 --> 00:43:48,131 Size 14, lots of fun. 824 00:43:48,622 --> 00:43:49,692 You want to audit those, too? 825 00:43:50,662 --> 00:43:52,062 You know what? I just might. 826 00:43:53,502 --> 00:43:58,702 Miss Quince will never fall for your... transparent... dishonor. 827 00:43:58,782 --> 00:44:02,298 My dishonor, I'll have you know, is not transparent. 828 00:44:14,622 --> 00:44:16,932 - I wonder if he could lift me like that. - Oh, my... 829 00:44:18,862 --> 00:44:20,501 - In my trap. - I counter! 830 00:44:26,742 --> 00:44:29,576 This ain't in your wheelhouse, boss. 831 00:44:29,662 --> 00:44:31,574 - Don't go there. - What do you mean, "Don't go there"? 832 00:44:31,662 --> 00:44:34,336 Your mama said don't go there last night! 833 00:44:35,342 --> 00:44:37,299 - Checkmate! - Oh! 834 00:44:41,702 --> 00:44:42,977 Oh! 835 00:44:50,102 --> 00:44:51,661 I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! 836 00:44:53,222 --> 00:44:54,497 - You've got it? - You got it? 837 00:44:54,582 --> 00:44:56,335 - You got it! You... - Got it! 838 00:44:57,342 --> 00:44:58,571 - You don't got it. - Take it. 839 00:44:58,662 --> 00:45:01,018 Take it, take it, take it! 840 00:45:01,982 --> 00:45:03,655 The score is tied, Mr. Diver. 841 00:45:03,742 --> 00:45:05,734 Choose your game to finish this. 842 00:45:07,622 --> 00:45:08,453 Limbo! 843 00:45:08,542 --> 00:45:09,976 - Limbo! - Wow! 844 00:45:10,062 --> 00:45:11,132 Oh, we got him! 845 00:45:11,262 --> 00:45:12,742 I said stop that! 846 00:45:13,542 --> 00:45:14,532 You first. 847 00:45:20,742 --> 00:45:22,301 He can do it, he can do it! 848 00:45:28,942 --> 00:45:30,899 This is bullshit! 849 00:45:31,942 --> 00:45:35,014 I'll take that as a pass. 850 00:45:35,462 --> 00:45:36,862 Music! 851 00:46:19,622 --> 00:46:20,692 Disqualification! 852 00:46:20,782 --> 00:46:23,251 His knees touched the ground. I'm starting a protest! 853 00:46:31,542 --> 00:46:33,932 Meet me in your office tomorrow morning at 9 o'clock. 854 00:46:34,742 --> 00:46:35,573 Sharp. 855 00:46:41,662 --> 00:46:44,814 ♪ You, me and a Christmas tree ♪ 856 00:46:45,422 --> 00:46:48,017 ♪ Is all I want this year ♪ 857 00:46:48,822 --> 00:46:52,338 ♪ Just me, you and a tree will do ♪ 858 00:46:53,062 --> 00:46:55,577 ♪ Oh, just to have you near ♪ 859 00:46:56,382 --> 00:46:59,580 ♪ Beneath the twinkling lights ♪ 860 00:47:00,142 --> 00:47:02,896 ♪ And shiny colored balls ♪ 861 00:47:03,622 --> 00:47:06,581 ♪ We'll make our holiday delight ♪ 862 00:47:07,742 --> 00:47:09,813 ♪ While little pine needles fall ♪ 863 00:47:12,702 --> 00:47:13,738 Well, he's late. 864 00:47:14,182 --> 00:47:16,094 That is very unusual. 865 00:47:16,182 --> 00:47:17,502 Duke is very punctual. 866 00:47:18,542 --> 00:47:21,296 Jimmy, Ginger, why don't you guys take the morning off? 867 00:47:22,222 --> 00:47:24,373 Why don't you not and just sit right there. 868 00:47:24,462 --> 00:47:26,977 - This is business. - Oh, come on. A little bit of the bubbly. 869 00:47:27,062 --> 00:47:28,860 Oh, no, that's not appropriate. 870 00:47:30,422 --> 00:47:32,493 Maison de Chocolat... 871 00:47:33,822 --> 00:47:35,336 Come on. Try it. 872 00:47:36,502 --> 00:47:39,097 This... this is about receipts and 873 00:47:39,782 --> 00:47:40,579 and contracts. 874 00:47:40,702 --> 00:47:42,534 Oh, it's nutty and dark. 875 00:47:42,662 --> 00:47:45,734 Maybe I'll take... I'll take a couple for later. 876 00:47:46,262 --> 00:47:47,093 Thank you. 877 00:47:47,182 --> 00:47:49,094 - Thank you. Thank you very much. - Good, good, good. 878 00:47:49,182 --> 00:47:52,380 - Now, it, it, it all adds up. - Oh, no. It doesn't. 879 00:47:52,982 --> 00:47:54,860 Two thousand dollars for camel rental. 880 00:47:56,942 --> 00:47:59,502 How do you think the Three Wise Men got to Bethlehem? 881 00:48:00,142 --> 00:48:02,737 What does Palm Springs have to do with Bethlehem? 882 00:48:02,822 --> 00:48:04,734 Bethlehem was just like this. 883 00:48:05,502 --> 00:48:09,462 Palm trees, warm breezes, people walkin' around in shirtsleeves. 884 00:48:09,542 --> 00:48:13,934 Not this snow-covered bullshit dreamed up by Hallmark Cards. 885 00:48:14,022 --> 00:48:15,138 I like the snow. 886 00:48:15,662 --> 00:48:18,939 Would you deprive the residents of Villa Capri of their dromedaries? 887 00:48:19,022 --> 00:48:20,820 Are you a dromedary depriver? 888 00:48:20,902 --> 00:48:22,222 Okay, forget the camels. 889 00:48:23,942 --> 00:48:27,174 The Gentlemen's Club. Dancers. Right there. Dancers. 890 00:48:27,262 --> 00:48:29,174 Yeah. Well, they were strippers. 891 00:48:29,262 --> 00:48:31,015 Oh, I knew it! 892 00:48:31,102 --> 00:48:32,616 No, no! No, no, no! They were sweet. 893 00:48:32,702 --> 00:48:36,821 They were... they were sweet. They made the men feel young and virile. 894 00:48:37,062 --> 00:48:39,019 Even taught the ladies a couple of tricks, and... 895 00:48:39,102 --> 00:48:40,741 - and I can vouch for that. - Ew. 896 00:48:41,982 --> 00:48:43,211 Golf clubs. 897 00:48:43,302 --> 00:48:45,055 Personal. Fourteen hundred dollars. 898 00:48:45,182 --> 00:48:47,651 Probably brought in about a million dollars' worth of business 899 00:48:48,262 --> 00:48:51,255 hosting potential buyers on the golf course. 900 00:48:51,542 --> 00:48:52,373 - Duke... - Hm? 901 00:48:52,462 --> 00:48:54,215 It's the corporation's petty cash. 902 00:48:55,262 --> 00:48:57,140 You are apparently unfamiliar 903 00:48:57,262 --> 00:49:01,734 with US Tax Codes special addendum 44, parts three and seven 904 00:49:02,302 --> 00:49:06,182 which define explicitly those, and I quote, 905 00:49:06,542 --> 00:49:10,092 "reasonable expenses pertaining to a business's ongoing operation." 906 00:49:10,502 --> 00:49:13,017 - Subparagraph 12, "whereas in the..." - Stop it! 907 00:49:16,582 --> 00:49:17,493 Okay. 908 00:49:17,982 --> 00:49:20,292 Just... want to know, 909 00:49:21,182 --> 00:49:23,742 are you keeping your heart open for me like I am for you? 910 00:49:23,822 --> 00:49:26,382 Um, Duke? I don't even know who you are. 911 00:49:26,862 --> 00:49:29,775 Actually, I can't even find you in the national corporate database. 912 00:49:33,062 --> 00:49:35,975 Oh, well, basically, if I don't exist, what? 913 00:49:36,062 --> 00:49:39,100 - Does that mean we're finished? - No, we haven't even started. 914 00:49:40,462 --> 00:49:43,899 Okay, okay, okay, okay. Anyway, I... I gotta go and get ready 915 00:49:43,982 --> 00:49:45,462 - for the big Christmas Eve party. - Wh... wh... 916 00:49:45,542 --> 00:49:49,741 And have I got a surprise for you! 917 00:49:52,262 --> 00:49:53,378 I don't want a surprise. 918 00:49:54,702 --> 00:49:57,297 - I'm sure it's very nice. - You shut up! 919 00:50:01,022 --> 00:50:02,615 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 920 00:50:02,702 --> 00:50:04,773 we invite you to please put your hands together 921 00:50:04,862 --> 00:50:09,698 and give it up for our beloved leader, Duke Diver. 922 00:50:09,782 --> 00:50:11,102 Hello, everybody. 923 00:50:17,582 --> 00:50:18,902 Merry Christmas! 924 00:50:20,422 --> 00:50:23,415 Mer-ry Christmas! 925 00:50:23,502 --> 00:50:24,902 And I'm saying it like that 926 00:50:24,982 --> 00:50:27,099 because this is really a special Christmas today, 927 00:50:27,182 --> 00:50:32,052 and I think this is going to be one you will remember far into your future 928 00:50:32,142 --> 00:50:33,462 which I hope is very long. 929 00:50:34,822 --> 00:50:40,454 But this Christmas is uh, very special to me because I want to dedicate it. 930 00:50:40,942 --> 00:50:42,740 I want to dedicate it to a very special lady. 931 00:50:42,822 --> 00:50:45,701 Her name is Miss Suzie Quince, wherever she is. 932 00:50:46,342 --> 00:50:48,015 There she is! 933 00:50:48,102 --> 00:50:50,901 Miss Quince, would you mind stepping forward 934 00:50:50,982 --> 00:50:52,177 so we know who you are? 935 00:50:53,182 --> 00:50:55,219 Please, just a couple of steps forward. 936 00:50:56,342 --> 00:50:58,095 Here she is, ladies and gentlemen. 937 00:50:58,582 --> 00:50:59,493 Hi. 938 00:50:59,582 --> 00:51:03,735 On this special day in this special season, Susan, 939 00:51:04,422 --> 00:51:06,334 I'm dedicating this one to you. 940 00:51:07,342 --> 00:51:08,696 Ladies and gentlemen, 941 00:51:09,782 --> 00:51:11,057 Johnny Mathis! 942 00:51:15,782 --> 00:51:17,535 - Holy shit! Did you see that? - Atta boy, Dukie! 943 00:51:17,622 --> 00:51:18,772 You did it again! 944 00:51:18,862 --> 00:51:21,536 It's good to see you, my friend. Welcome, welcome. 945 00:51:21,902 --> 00:51:23,382 I'll be on the piano for you. 946 00:51:23,702 --> 00:51:24,613 This is gonna go well. 947 00:51:24,942 --> 00:51:28,060 Okay. Thank you. Hi, guys. All right. 948 00:51:35,422 --> 00:51:39,382 ♪ Sleigh bells ring are ya listenin' ♪ 949 00:51:39,822 --> 00:51:43,338 ♪ In the lane snow is glistenin' ♪ 950 00:51:44,022 --> 00:51:47,379 ♪ A beautiful sight we're happy tonight ♪ 951 00:51:47,982 --> 00:51:50,861 ♪ Walkin' in a winter wonderland... ♪ 952 00:51:50,942 --> 00:51:52,501 I'm walkin', baby. 953 00:51:52,982 --> 00:51:58,774 Does Roberta have a little Beyoncé thing goin' on tonight or am I hammered? 954 00:51:58,862 --> 00:52:01,422 Well, she does, but you are hammered. 955 00:52:01,502 --> 00:52:02,379 Put a ring on it. 956 00:52:02,462 --> 00:52:03,373 Boys... 957 00:52:04,062 --> 00:52:06,622 boys, it's time to make our move. 958 00:52:07,022 --> 00:52:11,221 Ms. Marguerite. You and me? 959 00:52:11,302 --> 00:52:14,022 ♪ Then pretend that he is ♪ ♪ Parson Brown ♪ 960 00:52:15,462 --> 00:52:16,657 Come on. 961 00:52:18,822 --> 00:52:20,461 ♪ But you can do the job ♪ ♪ When you're in town ♪ 962 00:52:20,542 --> 00:52:21,737 I see you. 963 00:52:22,382 --> 00:52:29,095 ♪ Later on we'll conspire ♪ ♪ As we dream by the fire ♪ 964 00:52:30,462 --> 00:52:33,819 ♪ To face unafraid ♪ ♪ The plans that we made ♪ 965 00:52:34,342 --> 00:52:37,380 ♪ Walkin' in a winter wonderland ♪ 966 00:52:40,622 --> 00:52:44,616 ♪ Over the ground lies a mantle of white ♪ 967 00:52:45,302 --> 00:52:50,058 ♪ A heaven of diamonds ♪ ♪ Shine down through the night ♪ 968 00:52:51,262 --> 00:52:53,174 Miss Quince, may I have the pleasure of this dance? 969 00:52:53,262 --> 00:52:54,662 Yes, absolutely. 970 00:52:55,782 --> 00:52:58,775 ♪ When it snows ♪ 971 00:52:58,862 --> 00:52:59,898 Oh, you're good! 972 00:53:00,262 --> 00:53:01,491 Oh, I'm not that good, 973 00:53:01,582 --> 00:53:04,142 - I just try real hard. - Yes you are, you're really good. 974 00:53:04,222 --> 00:53:07,499 I've gotta tell ya, you're light on your feet. 975 00:53:07,582 --> 00:53:11,622 ♪ We'll frolic and play ♪ ♪ The Eskimo way ♪ 976 00:53:12,582 --> 00:53:14,858 Excuse me, excuse me. Excuse me, excuse me. 977 00:53:14,942 --> 00:53:16,695 - My turn. - Have some respect for the lady. 978 00:53:16,782 --> 00:53:19,661 - Gentlemen, gentlemen. - There's only one gentleman here. 979 00:53:19,902 --> 00:53:21,256 Stop the music! 980 00:53:22,462 --> 00:53:24,181 You makin' a fool of yourself, Duke. 981 00:53:25,422 --> 00:53:26,742 I'm callin' your hand. 982 00:53:26,822 --> 00:53:31,453 We're gonna play 18 holes of golf, right? 983 00:53:32,022 --> 00:53:33,536 Winner... 984 00:53:35,982 --> 00:53:38,178 - Christmas morning. - Bring your A-game. 985 00:53:38,262 --> 00:53:41,812 A-game? I'm gonna kick your ass with one hand! 986 00:53:44,062 --> 00:53:44,859 Oh, no. 987 00:53:51,182 --> 00:53:52,980 ♪ Dashing through the snow ♪ 988 00:53:53,062 --> 00:53:55,258 ♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪ 989 00:53:55,822 --> 00:53:57,859 ♪ O'er the fields we go ♪ 990 00:53:57,942 --> 00:54:00,741 ♪ Laughing all the way ha-ha-ha ♪ 991 00:54:00,822 --> 00:54:02,859 ♪ Bells on bobtails ring ♪ 992 00:54:06,102 --> 00:54:08,856 It's madness. It's all madness. 993 00:54:15,582 --> 00:54:17,460 Leo can play for real. 994 00:54:17,542 --> 00:54:18,817 It doesn't matter. We got your back, boss. 995 00:54:18,902 --> 00:54:21,622 Yeah, even if you're outta bounds, I got the foot mashie going. 996 00:54:21,702 --> 00:54:25,013 And I got a hole in my pocket and a half dozen extra balls. 997 00:54:26,182 --> 00:54:28,572 And I got a short game. 998 00:54:28,662 --> 00:54:30,062 We got you rigged to win! 999 00:54:30,142 --> 00:54:31,542 Ah, we got you covered. 1000 00:54:31,622 --> 00:54:32,817 I wouldn't even worry about it. 1001 00:54:32,902 --> 00:54:34,655 Cowboy and the playboy. 1002 00:54:34,782 --> 00:54:36,580 - I got my money on the playboy. - All right, all right. 1003 00:54:36,982 --> 00:54:37,859 Ladies and gentlemen, 1004 00:54:37,942 --> 00:54:41,492 this morning's contest will be 18 holes of match play golf 1005 00:54:42,022 --> 00:54:46,175 between Mr. Diver and Mr. McKay, according to official USGA rules. 1006 00:54:46,262 --> 00:54:48,618 Now, I just wanna say before we begin 1007 00:54:48,702 --> 00:54:51,262 that even though there can only be one winner... 1008 00:54:51,382 --> 00:54:53,339 Oh, shut up! I think I have the honors here. 1009 00:54:53,542 --> 00:54:54,373 - Yep. - Oh, 1010 00:54:54,462 --> 00:54:55,373 we're starting to kick it now! 1011 00:55:01,502 --> 00:55:02,856 Oh! 1012 00:55:02,942 --> 00:55:04,137 Son of a bitch! 1013 00:55:04,342 --> 00:55:06,140 Holy! 1014 00:55:07,342 --> 00:55:09,140 All right, baby! 1015 00:55:09,222 --> 00:55:10,895 All right, Duke. Have at it. 1016 00:55:11,622 --> 00:55:13,659 Show us what you got. Come on, let it rip. 1017 00:55:13,742 --> 00:55:14,653 Quiet, please! 1018 00:55:14,982 --> 00:55:17,417 You don't gotta tell me to shut up. Let it rip, boss. Let it rip. 1019 00:55:18,382 --> 00:55:21,819 Leo, pay attention. One hand. 1020 00:55:23,342 --> 00:55:24,696 - One hand. - Waggling. 1021 00:55:24,782 --> 00:55:25,693 Yes. 1022 00:55:26,342 --> 00:55:28,061 Yes! Yes! 1023 00:55:28,942 --> 00:55:30,615 Let's go! Let's go! 1024 00:55:30,942 --> 00:55:33,582 Ow! That's how you do it! 1025 00:55:33,662 --> 00:55:35,460 Right down the fairway! 1026 00:55:40,182 --> 00:55:41,582 - Yes! - Uh-huh. 1027 00:55:55,662 --> 00:55:57,858 - Yeah! Yeah! - Feelin' it! 1028 00:56:03,142 --> 00:56:05,373 No, no problem. I got this, I got this. 1029 00:56:12,422 --> 00:56:13,617 Yes, Duke! 1030 00:56:20,542 --> 00:56:21,453 Settle. 1031 00:56:25,742 --> 00:56:29,497 - Damn, smoother... - Oh, good break! 1032 00:56:44,142 --> 00:56:45,337 That ball is out of bounds. 1033 00:56:45,422 --> 00:56:46,981 - Huh? - Out of bounds. 1034 00:56:49,062 --> 00:56:50,735 Lucky bounce. Must have hit a tree. 1035 00:56:54,022 --> 00:56:54,978 Oh! 1036 00:56:55,462 --> 00:56:56,612 Yeah, great shot, great shot, chief! 1037 00:56:56,702 --> 00:56:57,818 All right, Duke, have at it! 1038 00:56:58,182 --> 00:57:00,014 - Oh, boy. - You're lookin' real good. 1039 00:57:00,462 --> 00:57:03,500 Oh, cowboy, what you gonna do now, cowboy? 1040 00:57:03,582 --> 00:57:06,381 All right. This is bullshit. 1041 00:57:06,902 --> 00:57:09,098 - What you talkin' about? - It's bullshit. 1042 00:57:09,942 --> 00:57:13,572 Are you accusing me of conduct unbecoming a man of my reputation? 1043 00:57:13,662 --> 00:57:17,497 I am accusing you of conduct consistent with a man of your reputation. 1044 00:57:17,582 --> 00:57:18,936 You been cheatin' all day long. 1045 00:57:20,782 --> 00:57:22,739 And if I'm keepin' the score correctly, 1046 00:57:22,822 --> 00:57:25,496 you will have to hole that ball on that green to beat me. 1047 00:57:26,262 --> 00:57:27,173 Okay. 1048 00:57:27,702 --> 00:57:28,499 Okay. 1049 00:57:28,622 --> 00:57:29,738 You got this shot. 1050 00:57:30,662 --> 00:57:31,573 Watch this. 1051 00:57:33,862 --> 00:57:35,057 Tell you what, why don't we, uh, 1052 00:57:35,142 --> 00:57:37,099 run up here right quick and read the green. 1053 00:57:38,142 --> 00:57:39,701 - Great thinking. - Not so fast. 1054 00:57:40,462 --> 00:57:41,862 I don't trust you and I never will. 1055 00:57:42,182 --> 00:57:43,502 Ah, we plum-bobbing that! 1056 00:57:43,582 --> 00:57:45,335 I'm keepin' my eye on you, man, just like a hawk. 1057 00:57:46,382 --> 00:57:47,293 God damn! 1058 00:57:47,862 --> 00:57:48,773 Oh shit! Oh shit! 1059 00:57:51,102 --> 00:57:52,058 - Everybody all right? - Shit! 1060 00:57:52,142 --> 00:57:53,576 They found me! They found me! 1061 00:57:53,662 --> 00:57:55,062 - Everyone's okay. - Are you okay? 1062 00:57:55,142 --> 00:57:57,259 Stay calm. Stay calm. 1063 00:57:57,342 --> 00:57:58,856 We'll have the EMS here in a minute. 1064 00:57:59,262 --> 00:58:00,173 Holy shit! 1065 00:58:00,662 --> 00:58:01,982 Probably just a gasoline leak. 1066 00:58:02,062 --> 00:58:03,462 It's an electric cart! 1067 00:58:03,542 --> 00:58:05,420 Where's my hat? Where's my hat? 1068 00:58:05,502 --> 00:58:06,379 Where you goin'? 1069 00:58:38,662 --> 00:58:39,732 You want a taste? 1070 00:58:40,182 --> 00:58:42,333 It's Leo, and I don't want a taste. Open up. 1071 00:58:42,422 --> 00:58:43,333 Leo? 1072 00:58:50,062 --> 00:58:52,782 You forfeit. I win the golf match. 1073 00:58:52,862 --> 00:58:54,581 You can have the damn golf match. 1074 00:58:54,982 --> 00:58:56,098 Somebody wants me dead! 1075 00:58:56,182 --> 00:58:57,502 Who wants you dead? Who are you? 1076 00:58:57,902 --> 00:58:58,813 It... it's, a... 1077 00:58:59,582 --> 00:59:01,539 So, I'm the trophy for a golf match. 1078 00:59:02,622 --> 00:59:04,818 I mean, it's not the first time men have fought over me. 1079 00:59:04,902 --> 00:59:06,655 Which one of you children is winning? 1080 00:59:06,742 --> 00:59:09,496 No, no, no. We... we... we're not fighting over you. 1081 00:59:09,782 --> 00:59:11,262 That would be sexist and outrageous. 1082 00:59:11,342 --> 00:59:13,857 No, we're fighting over the right to court you. 1083 00:59:13,942 --> 00:59:14,773 There's a difference? 1084 00:59:14,862 --> 00:59:17,013 These are fine distinctions that men make. 1085 00:59:17,102 --> 00:59:19,458 Yeah, yeah, we... you misunderstood. 1086 00:59:19,982 --> 00:59:22,417 We honor, praise and glorify you. 1087 00:59:22,502 --> 00:59:24,255 No criminal intent on Duke's part, 1088 00:59:24,342 --> 00:59:25,696 it's just Duke being Duke. 1089 00:59:26,062 --> 00:59:26,893 Thank you, Leo. 1090 00:59:26,982 --> 00:59:28,621 Do you men hear yourselves? 1091 00:59:28,742 --> 00:59:30,574 - No. - Sh... should we? 1092 00:59:32,102 --> 00:59:34,378 Excuse me. I trust I've made my point. 1093 00:59:36,022 --> 00:59:39,015 Oh, by the way, did you hear a loud boom a few minutes ago? 1094 00:59:39,342 --> 00:59:42,141 - Uh-uh. - No, no. 1095 00:59:43,462 --> 00:59:44,373 You? 1096 00:59:44,902 --> 00:59:47,576 Corporate's up my ass and you're both lying to me. 1097 00:59:49,062 --> 00:59:50,576 You better report this to the county sheriff. 1098 00:59:50,662 --> 00:59:52,779 Oh, no, no. No, Leo, I beg you. 1099 00:59:52,862 --> 00:59:54,342 Don't take this to the law. 1100 00:59:55,702 --> 00:59:59,059 Leo. Leo! Leo, where you going? 1101 01:00:01,062 --> 01:00:02,860 Leo, it's not safe for me around here anymore. 1102 01:00:02,942 --> 01:00:05,537 - You've got to get me the hell outta here. - Why would I do that for you? 1103 01:00:06,142 --> 01:00:08,054 Because you don't want bloody chunks of me 1104 01:00:08,142 --> 01:00:10,054 raining all over Villa Capri! 1105 01:00:10,142 --> 01:00:12,054 All right, I'll get you outta here but on one condition. 1106 01:00:12,142 --> 01:00:14,373 You tell me everything. No more bullshit. 1107 01:00:14,462 --> 01:00:16,579 Now, why would I bullshit you, Leo? 1108 01:00:16,662 --> 01:00:18,733 Okay. Bloody chunks it is. 1109 01:00:18,822 --> 01:00:22,099 Uh, okay, okay. Okay. No... no more bullshit. 1110 01:00:23,422 --> 01:00:24,902 You blew up a golf cart? 1111 01:00:25,582 --> 01:00:26,572 And he wasn't in it? 1112 01:00:30,782 --> 01:00:33,536 No, it is not your fault. 1113 01:00:33,622 --> 01:00:36,581 Your... your... your father never let you murder anyone. 1114 01:00:37,422 --> 01:00:42,417 No, he... he always said that you did the best digging. 1115 01:00:42,782 --> 01:00:44,057 But sweetheart, 1116 01:00:44,662 --> 01:00:47,700 how many men did you bury from snakebites and bombs? 1117 01:00:48,342 --> 01:00:49,492 Zero! 1118 01:00:49,862 --> 01:00:51,740 They all died from bullet holes! 1119 01:00:51,822 --> 01:00:55,896 So go get some bullets, and do it like your father used to do it! 1120 01:01:01,702 --> 01:01:02,692 Who the hell are you? 1121 01:01:02,782 --> 01:01:04,978 My real name is William J. DuPrees. 1122 01:01:06,182 --> 01:01:09,459 I was known for many years as Sweet Willy. 1123 01:01:10,302 --> 01:01:13,500 I was chief counsel for the Bruno family. 1124 01:01:13,582 --> 01:01:14,493 Mob. 1125 01:01:14,822 --> 01:01:19,578 Until I learned that they weren't really in the trucking business. 1126 01:01:19,662 --> 01:01:22,939 And then Feds came around and offered me a choice. 1127 01:01:23,022 --> 01:01:25,218 - And? - I rolled over like a trained show dog. 1128 01:01:25,702 --> 01:01:29,821 The problem was there was this crazy wife and a crazier son, even, 1129 01:01:30,262 --> 01:01:32,333 who threatened to kill me at the trial. 1130 01:01:32,822 --> 01:01:35,974 And then when the brakes went out on my car a week later, 1131 01:01:36,462 --> 01:01:38,294 around came the Feds again... 1132 01:01:38,382 --> 01:01:39,816 And you went into witness protection. 1133 01:01:39,902 --> 01:01:43,100 And turned it into an art form, if I may say so myself. 1134 01:01:44,342 --> 01:01:45,332 Did you ever change your appearance? 1135 01:01:47,382 --> 01:01:48,338 And mess with this? 1136 01:01:49,222 --> 01:01:50,178 I don't think so. 1137 01:01:51,302 --> 01:01:52,179 The Feds will take care of you. 1138 01:01:52,502 --> 01:01:54,971 - Yeah! They'll relocate me. - So what? 1139 01:01:55,622 --> 01:01:57,454 So, I don't want to be relocated! 1140 01:01:58,502 --> 01:02:00,255 I got it made at the Villa Capri. 1141 01:02:00,862 --> 01:02:03,093 Everything a man could want is there! 1142 01:02:03,182 --> 01:02:05,822 It is my vision that made it what it is today. 1143 01:02:06,382 --> 01:02:11,821 Sex, booze, golf... and then you die. 1144 01:02:12,062 --> 01:02:13,940 Heaven's gonna be a disappointment to you, man. 1145 01:02:14,022 --> 01:02:17,459 Come on, Leo. Help me save what I've built. 1146 01:02:21,382 --> 01:02:22,896 - Shit! - Nobody messes with my truck! 1147 01:02:24,062 --> 01:02:24,973 Shot my truck! 1148 01:02:25,062 --> 01:02:27,622 Oh, hell! He's tryin' to kill me and you're worried about a truck? 1149 01:02:27,702 --> 01:02:28,613 Hang on. 1150 01:02:42,422 --> 01:02:43,333 Shit! Shit! 1151 01:02:54,022 --> 01:02:55,058 Shit! 1152 01:03:01,902 --> 01:03:04,019 Let's just regroup and... and... and make a plan. 1153 01:03:04,102 --> 01:03:05,741 I'm gonna cut the sumbitch off. 1154 01:03:18,822 --> 01:03:21,894 - This is a really bad idea, Leo. - Watch this. 1155 01:03:26,622 --> 01:03:29,581 Nice work, Leo. Glad I didn't blink. 1156 01:03:31,382 --> 01:03:33,021 Damn it. 1157 01:03:37,542 --> 01:03:41,855 This is my brand-new, F-150, 4x4, 1158 01:03:41,942 --> 01:03:47,142 ruby red, extended cab, custom bedliner truck! 1159 01:03:50,302 --> 01:03:53,500 I guess we're going to have to inform Miss Quince of these developments. 1160 01:03:53,582 --> 01:03:56,142 Yeah. Her job's at stake. 1161 01:04:06,622 --> 01:04:08,295 You got a special feelin' for her, don't you? 1162 01:04:08,742 --> 01:04:10,301 From the moment I first saw her, 1163 01:04:10,382 --> 01:04:12,214 there was something about Miss Suzie Quince 1164 01:04:12,302 --> 01:04:14,862 that got the hair on the back of my neck standing up. 1165 01:04:16,502 --> 01:04:17,458 Nothin' finer. 1166 01:04:18,062 --> 01:04:20,338 In the whole wide world than a good woman. 1167 01:04:20,982 --> 01:04:23,292 I dig the female species... 1168 01:04:23,382 --> 01:04:24,816 Smells sweeter than a honeysuckle. 1169 01:04:24,902 --> 01:04:27,701 Smarter than hell, firm as a biscuit. 1170 01:04:28,062 --> 01:04:28,973 Firm as a biscuit? 1171 01:04:29,262 --> 01:04:31,982 Biscuit, fresh out of the oven. 1172 01:04:32,302 --> 01:04:36,421 Oh, yeah. Butter melting. 1173 01:04:37,342 --> 01:04:39,698 - You see my point. - Ah, yes, indeed. 1174 01:04:40,342 --> 01:04:45,178 The sun, the moon, and the stars, Leo. That's what a good woman is to me. 1175 01:04:45,262 --> 01:04:51,736 ♪ Hark the herald angels sing ♪ ♪ Glory to the newborn king ♪ 1176 01:04:52,302 --> 01:04:58,856 ♪ Peace on Earth and mercy mild ♪ ♪ God and sinners reconciled ♪ 1177 01:05:02,302 --> 01:05:03,213 Go on. 1178 01:05:04,342 --> 01:05:05,173 What goes next? 1179 01:05:07,822 --> 01:05:08,733 With. 1180 01:05:09,702 --> 01:05:11,022 What is it? With... 1181 01:05:11,822 --> 01:05:13,302 Romantic joy proclaim? 1182 01:05:14,142 --> 01:05:15,258 Proclaim. 1183 01:05:15,702 --> 01:05:18,854 ♪ Christ was born in Bethlehem ♪ 1184 01:05:19,422 --> 01:05:22,460 ♪ Hark! the herald angels sing ♪ 1185 01:05:22,702 --> 01:05:27,413 ♪ Glory to the newborn king ♪ 1186 01:05:29,302 --> 01:05:32,136 You had a rifle and a scope and you missed him? 1187 01:05:33,782 --> 01:05:36,342 Oh, Oscar, just stop trying to kill him. 1188 01:05:36,422 --> 01:05:37,902 Just bring him to me and I'll do it. 1189 01:05:46,022 --> 01:05:48,457 Why am I not surprised you're in witness protection 1190 01:05:48,582 --> 01:05:49,811 and somebody's trying to kill you? 1191 01:05:50,302 --> 01:05:52,498 - Yep, that's him. Yeah. - The animal guy, right there. 1192 01:05:52,942 --> 01:05:55,935 Sheep. Camels. Did they have a snake? Probably. 1193 01:05:57,022 --> 01:05:59,059 I thought he looked vaguely familiar. 1194 01:05:59,942 --> 01:06:01,137 Now I recognize him. 1195 01:06:01,702 --> 01:06:04,820 That's Oscar Bruno, one of the mob boss's sons. 1196 01:06:05,582 --> 01:06:07,653 He could have just knocked on your door and shot you. 1197 01:06:07,742 --> 01:06:09,938 Surveillance cameras. He didn't wanna be ID'd. 1198 01:06:10,062 --> 01:06:12,531 No. He figured he could just come and go with the animals. 1199 01:06:14,982 --> 01:06:16,780 Leo wants to turn me over to the Feds. 1200 01:06:17,982 --> 01:06:19,575 Oh, God! No, please. 1201 01:06:20,022 --> 01:06:23,652 Tell the police, and suddenly the Villa Capri is crawling with cops! 1202 01:06:23,782 --> 01:06:26,854 I mean, can't you just, like, track him down? 1203 01:06:26,942 --> 01:06:28,012 He's a bad guy. Just... 1204 01:06:28,702 --> 01:06:31,376 you know, snuff him out like way off the radar. 1205 01:06:31,462 --> 01:06:34,022 I don't snuff people out, off or on the radar. 1206 01:06:34,342 --> 01:06:35,856 Oh, God. I know. 1207 01:06:37,542 --> 01:06:39,898 Okay, guys, look, I... I have a confession. 1208 01:06:41,102 --> 01:06:44,459 The last couple times corporate sent me to fix a problem, 1209 01:06:44,542 --> 01:06:47,501 something crazy happened. Things got worse. 1210 01:06:48,622 --> 01:06:52,741 I'm starting to like this place, but I'm on a short leash here. 1211 01:06:53,222 --> 01:06:55,532 If this gets public, it could cost me my job. 1212 01:06:56,822 --> 01:06:59,382 Please... Leo... 1213 01:06:59,462 --> 01:07:01,294 And, he shot your damn truck. 1214 01:07:01,742 --> 01:07:03,938 - Hmm. - He shot your truck? 1215 01:07:04,382 --> 01:07:07,853 You're both right. We're goin' after this guy. 1216 01:07:08,422 --> 01:07:09,378 Yes! 1217 01:07:19,222 --> 01:07:20,542 What the hell is this about? 1218 01:07:20,622 --> 01:07:23,660 He knows my new truck, but he doesn't know this shitty van. 1219 01:07:23,742 --> 01:07:25,973 Oh. 1220 01:07:26,502 --> 01:07:27,538 That's clever. 1221 01:07:28,182 --> 01:07:30,902 I think you and I could become cherished friends, Leo. 1222 01:07:30,982 --> 01:07:31,893 Shut up. 1223 01:08:04,582 --> 01:08:05,982 Fit perfect in a golf bag. 1224 01:08:06,582 --> 01:08:07,493 Can I help you guys? 1225 01:08:08,422 --> 01:08:10,778 - Can they get out? - Yep, every now and then. 1226 01:08:11,182 --> 01:08:12,377 You might wanna think about a deeper trough. 1227 01:08:12,982 --> 01:08:15,099 Deeper trough. Yeah, good thinkin'. 1228 01:08:15,622 --> 01:08:17,056 Duke, what brings you out here? 1229 01:08:17,342 --> 01:08:19,732 Were, uh, lookin' for a guy. 1230 01:08:21,142 --> 01:08:23,213 Oscar. Strange fella. 1231 01:08:23,542 --> 01:08:24,373 Where is he now? 1232 01:08:24,462 --> 01:08:25,612 He quit yesterday. 1233 01:08:26,422 --> 01:08:30,052 Said he had found what he was lookin' for and walked out. 1234 01:08:30,142 --> 01:08:31,053 Leave an address? 1235 01:08:31,302 --> 01:08:33,055 He lived in a motel, I think. 1236 01:08:33,622 --> 01:08:36,535 - Motel... - You got any idea which motel? 1237 01:08:37,182 --> 01:08:40,016 - Made it sound like the French Quarter. - French Quarter? 1238 01:08:40,102 --> 01:08:41,058 - Something like that. - Got it. 1239 01:08:47,102 --> 01:08:48,821 Manager says he's still livin' here. 1240 01:08:49,542 --> 01:08:50,453 Unit 15. 1241 01:08:50,782 --> 01:08:53,456 So when he shows up, we jump him, 1242 01:08:53,742 --> 01:08:55,256 we hand him over to the Feds, 1243 01:08:55,342 --> 01:08:57,538 and he goes up the river forever, right? 1244 01:08:57,622 --> 01:08:59,818 - No, no. We don't jump him. - What do you mean? 1245 01:09:00,062 --> 01:09:00,973 I do. 1246 01:09:03,102 --> 01:09:05,571 - So just relax. - Yeah, okay... 1247 01:09:11,862 --> 01:09:13,819 Sixth grade was traumatic. 1248 01:09:14,702 --> 01:09:16,136 I ran for class president. 1249 01:09:17,662 --> 01:09:18,573 Lost. 1250 01:09:19,222 --> 01:09:23,455 I got one vote... my own. 1251 01:09:23,542 --> 01:09:27,252 In high school, I tried bribing my classmates, but... 1252 01:09:27,902 --> 01:09:28,892 Crushed again. 1253 01:09:29,662 --> 01:09:30,618 Yeah. 1254 01:09:30,942 --> 01:09:32,979 Witness protection turned my life around. 1255 01:09:33,782 --> 01:09:36,297 You got a fresh start on the back nine of life. 1256 01:09:36,942 --> 01:09:38,456 Reinvented myself. 1257 01:09:39,702 --> 01:09:41,659 Was goin' pretty good, if you ask me. 1258 01:09:42,542 --> 01:09:44,135 You like me a little, yes? 1259 01:09:44,222 --> 01:09:45,622 You need to be liked? 1260 01:09:46,382 --> 01:09:48,453 It may sound pathetic but, 1261 01:09:49,502 --> 01:09:50,936 I love to be adored. 1262 01:09:51,502 --> 01:09:52,413 You need therapy. 1263 01:09:53,502 --> 01:09:54,538 Never worked before. 1264 01:09:56,502 --> 01:09:58,255 Not until now with you. 1265 01:09:59,182 --> 01:10:00,980 Good. You're cured. 1266 01:10:03,182 --> 01:10:06,414 We should rotate naps in case it turns into an all-nighter. 1267 01:10:06,982 --> 01:10:09,781 Yeah. Well, I'm wide awake if you wanna take the first one. 1268 01:10:10,462 --> 01:10:11,976 I could nod off pretty quick. 1269 01:10:12,342 --> 01:10:13,253 Well... 1270 01:10:13,542 --> 01:10:16,933 Wake me in one hour or if anybody shows up. 1271 01:10:25,582 --> 01:10:27,938 - Would you like a song to help you sleep? - No. 1272 01:10:34,662 --> 01:10:39,339 ♪ Silent night ♪ 1273 01:10:40,502 --> 01:10:44,576 ♪ Holy night ♪ 1274 01:10:45,142 --> 01:10:46,053 I like that one. 1275 01:10:47,222 --> 01:10:51,978 ♪ All is calm ♪ 1276 01:10:52,902 --> 01:10:56,976 ♪ All is bright ♪ 1277 01:12:16,742 --> 01:12:18,495 - Wake up, Sherlock. - Hm? 1278 01:12:18,902 --> 01:12:20,222 You were supposed to wake me up. 1279 01:12:21,702 --> 01:12:22,613 Sorry. 1280 01:12:23,222 --> 01:12:25,134 That song always leaves me out. 1281 01:12:30,342 --> 01:12:31,253 Can I help you? 1282 01:12:31,582 --> 01:12:33,733 Yeah, the guy in room 15, what do you know about him? 1283 01:12:34,182 --> 01:12:36,219 A very nice man. Very polite. 1284 01:12:36,302 --> 01:12:37,213 Bullshit. 1285 01:12:37,502 --> 01:12:40,097 There is one thing. He... loves naked ladies. 1286 01:12:40,782 --> 01:12:42,819 I saw him at last week's Sunday brunch at Rudy's. 1287 01:12:43,142 --> 01:12:44,622 They have a Sunday brunch at a titty bar? 1288 01:12:45,502 --> 01:12:47,255 You gotta try the Belgian waffles there. 1289 01:12:51,062 --> 01:12:54,658 Okay. All right. Go do your business. Go on, Romeo. 1290 01:12:54,862 --> 01:12:57,377 - That's a good boy! Good boy! - Hey, Suzie? 1291 01:12:58,422 --> 01:12:59,253 Suzie? 1292 01:12:59,342 --> 01:13:01,220 - Yeah? - It's corporate for you. 1293 01:13:01,302 --> 01:13:02,861 It's corporate? 1294 01:13:08,662 --> 01:13:09,652 Suzie Quince. 1295 01:13:11,022 --> 01:13:11,933 Yes! 1296 01:13:13,262 --> 01:13:14,696 No, no, no... 1297 01:13:14,982 --> 01:13:16,974 I... I'm getting a handle on things. 1298 01:13:17,062 --> 01:13:18,291 A firm grasp. 1299 01:13:22,262 --> 01:13:24,174 ♪ Holy night ♪ 1300 01:13:24,662 --> 01:13:27,575 No. I... there are protocols. I'm following the protocols. 1301 01:13:27,662 --> 01:13:30,018 I'm a... I'm a walking protocol. 1302 01:13:34,582 --> 01:13:37,939 But people just seem to be so happy here, 1303 01:13:38,022 --> 01:13:42,301 and happiness is not a condition. It's a choice. 1304 01:13:47,462 --> 01:13:49,738 Things are not out of control at the Villa Capri. 1305 01:13:49,822 --> 01:13:50,938 It is magnificent here. 1306 01:13:55,222 --> 01:13:56,895 No, no, no! Stop! Come back! 1307 01:13:57,262 --> 01:14:00,812 Terminate me? You can't terminate me! 1308 01:14:00,902 --> 01:14:02,780 Come back with the nativity! 1309 01:14:02,982 --> 01:14:04,416 No, wait! Stop, get back in there! 1310 01:14:04,502 --> 01:14:05,822 Larry, get the camel! 1311 01:14:07,262 --> 01:14:08,173 You know what? 1312 01:14:08,662 --> 01:14:09,778 Hello? 1313 01:14:12,902 --> 01:14:13,813 Romeo? 1314 01:14:14,622 --> 01:14:15,851 Oh, Romeo? 1315 01:14:16,902 --> 01:14:19,576 Oh, my God! Romeo. Romeo! 1316 01:14:19,662 --> 01:14:23,576 Oh, no, no, no, no! 1317 01:14:23,662 --> 01:14:25,381 - Hey! - Oh! Oh! 1318 01:14:25,462 --> 01:14:26,612 I got you! 1319 01:14:32,342 --> 01:14:33,571 You know, this isn't a very efficient plan. 1320 01:14:33,662 --> 01:14:34,573 You shut up! 1321 01:14:34,862 --> 01:14:37,661 You shut up! I'm having a worse day than you are. 1322 01:14:38,302 --> 01:14:42,091 You know, if I were to ever kidnap someone for ransom, 1323 01:14:42,342 --> 01:14:45,141 I would have it more worked out, more organized. 1324 01:14:45,702 --> 01:14:47,136 I mean, there would be some nice kibble, 1325 01:14:47,222 --> 01:14:48,338 and perhaps a chew toy. 1326 01:14:48,422 --> 01:14:49,617 - I'm going to tell you why. - Chew toy? 1327 01:14:49,702 --> 01:14:51,739 Oh God! It's amateur hour around here. 1328 01:14:51,822 --> 01:14:52,733 Well, I'm sorry. 1329 01:14:59,062 --> 01:15:01,213 All right, all right. Enough about me. 1330 01:15:01,702 --> 01:15:04,581 I'm sure even a tough guy like you 1331 01:15:04,662 --> 01:15:07,222 has some insecurities you'd like to talk about. 1332 01:15:07,302 --> 01:15:08,213 No. 1333 01:15:09,062 --> 01:15:11,531 Come on. You'll feel better. 1334 01:15:11,622 --> 01:15:13,056 Shut up! I feel fine. 1335 01:15:17,262 --> 01:15:18,582 - They've got a nice gift shop. - Hey! 1336 01:15:18,662 --> 01:15:19,493 Really sweet. 1337 01:15:19,582 --> 01:15:20,902 Hey, there's the big dog! 1338 01:15:20,982 --> 01:15:21,893 - Hey. - Hey, what's up? 1339 01:15:21,982 --> 01:15:23,177 - We're lookin' for somebody. - Yeah? 1340 01:15:23,262 --> 01:15:26,573 - Recognize this guy? - Doesn't look familiar, but, uh, you know, 1341 01:15:26,862 --> 01:15:28,740 a thousand other guys like that... 1342 01:15:32,382 --> 01:15:34,260 Your animal guy is not very good at blowin' you up, 1343 01:15:34,342 --> 01:15:36,538 but he's gonna keep tryin'. Maybe he'll get it right next time. 1344 01:15:37,022 --> 01:15:38,900 - Hey, hey, hey! - Is that your car? 1345 01:15:38,982 --> 01:15:40,052 - Yeah. - Give me the keys. 1346 01:15:40,142 --> 01:15:41,656 - My new wheels? No! - I need your keys. 1347 01:15:41,742 --> 01:15:43,096 - Who do you think you are? - Give me the keys! 1348 01:15:43,182 --> 01:15:44,332 Shit! 1349 01:15:55,062 --> 01:15:57,179 - This is thrilling. - Thank you. 1350 01:15:58,142 --> 01:15:59,178 - There he is. - Yep. 1351 01:16:01,142 --> 01:16:02,212 Goddamn, Leo! 1352 01:16:07,062 --> 01:16:09,622 Two old dinosaurs. Like us, huh, Leo? 1353 01:16:11,822 --> 01:16:13,256 - You think that's funny? - Nope. 1354 01:16:21,462 --> 01:16:22,373 Hang on. 1355 01:16:25,662 --> 01:16:26,982 Oh shit! Oh shit! 1356 01:16:32,302 --> 01:16:33,895 I have a confession to make. 1357 01:16:34,902 --> 01:16:38,418 Well, for heaven's sake, man, let 'er rip. 1358 01:16:38,822 --> 01:16:40,381 I came here to buy the Villa Capri. 1359 01:16:42,902 --> 01:16:44,336 I thought you only bought big stuff. 1360 01:16:44,422 --> 01:16:46,220 That property is worth 50 million dollars. 1361 01:16:46,822 --> 01:16:50,259 Fifty... and Suzie's worried about petty cash? 1362 01:16:50,342 --> 01:16:52,061 She's just doin' her job... Hang on! 1363 01:16:52,142 --> 01:16:53,053 Oh shit! 1364 01:16:54,022 --> 01:16:55,741 First, I was gonna bulldoze the Villa Capri 1365 01:16:55,822 --> 01:16:57,541 and put in a western Mall of America. 1366 01:16:57,622 --> 01:16:59,739 Oh my God! That's sacrilege. 1367 01:16:59,822 --> 01:17:02,542 Don't worry. I changed my mind. I'm startin' to like that place. 1368 01:17:10,862 --> 01:17:14,253 So, I mean, if it's worth all that 1369 01:17:14,622 --> 01:17:16,136 and it's partly because of me, 1370 01:17:16,222 --> 01:17:17,815 I think I should get a piece of the pie. 1371 01:17:17,902 --> 01:17:18,813 How much do you want? 1372 01:17:19,142 --> 01:17:21,179 Uh, eh, ten percent? 1373 01:17:21,262 --> 01:17:23,379 Suppose I let you keep your fancy golf cart? 1374 01:17:24,062 --> 01:17:25,337 Wait a minute... They blew that thing up. 1375 01:17:25,422 --> 01:17:27,175 And you're welcome to have a piece of it. 1376 01:17:30,582 --> 01:17:32,699 Looks like Oscar is through playing around. 1377 01:17:40,182 --> 01:17:42,014 - Uh-oh! - This looks like a dead end. 1378 01:17:42,102 --> 01:17:44,253 Yeah. Road don't go anywhere. 1379 01:17:44,342 --> 01:17:45,458 Maybe we can box him in. 1380 01:17:45,782 --> 01:17:46,693 Well, it might be a trap. 1381 01:17:47,062 --> 01:17:47,893 So what? 1382 01:17:47,982 --> 01:17:49,177 They're after your ass, not mine. 1383 01:18:10,702 --> 01:18:11,533 That's not Oscar. 1384 01:18:11,622 --> 01:18:13,500 Well, let's go see who the hell it is. 1385 01:18:19,582 --> 01:18:21,255 - You know what you're doin'? - Generally. 1386 01:18:21,822 --> 01:18:23,222 Stop right there! 1387 01:18:24,062 --> 01:18:25,815 No, no, no, no! Don't shoot, don't shoot. 1388 01:18:25,902 --> 01:18:26,813 Who are you? 1389 01:18:26,942 --> 01:18:29,776 Listen, some lunatic gave me $500 to torch your van 1390 01:18:30,422 --> 01:18:31,378 and to lead you down here. 1391 01:18:31,822 --> 01:18:32,733 Here? 1392 01:18:32,942 --> 01:18:33,853 Yeah. 1393 01:18:36,902 --> 01:18:38,131 Answer the phone. 1394 01:18:41,862 --> 01:18:42,773 Hello? 1395 01:18:45,542 --> 01:18:46,453 It's for you. 1396 01:18:51,502 --> 01:18:52,413 Leo McKay. 1397 01:18:52,782 --> 01:18:53,659 Look up. 1398 01:19:03,262 --> 01:19:04,252 You're lookin' for me? 1399 01:19:04,982 --> 01:19:05,893 What do you want? 1400 01:19:07,062 --> 01:19:07,973 I got your girl. 1401 01:19:08,582 --> 01:19:09,936 I wanna trade her for Duke. 1402 01:19:10,462 --> 01:19:11,737 - That'll work. - What? 1403 01:19:12,702 --> 01:19:14,341 No, Leo. He'll shoot me in the head. 1404 01:19:14,582 --> 01:19:15,652 Yeah, well, there is that. 1405 01:19:16,102 --> 01:19:17,252 What do you want us to do? 1406 01:19:17,582 --> 01:19:20,620 I want you to sit tight and I'll send you coordinates of where we'll meet up. 1407 01:19:21,862 --> 01:19:22,773 Leo? 1408 01:19:24,662 --> 01:19:27,621 You're not really gonna trade me for her, are you? 1409 01:19:27,702 --> 01:19:30,171 She's a lot prettier and I'd really like to make the trade, 1410 01:19:30,262 --> 01:19:33,380 but my essential sense of human dignity and decency 1411 01:19:33,462 --> 01:19:34,373 will not permit it. 1412 01:19:35,342 --> 01:19:36,901 However, we need him to think I will. 1413 01:19:37,222 --> 01:19:41,262 Aw, I sure am glad you're you. 1414 01:19:46,542 --> 01:19:50,422 - Hey, can I put my hands down now? - Shut up. 1415 01:20:01,142 --> 01:20:01,939 Where? 1416 01:20:02,022 --> 01:20:04,218 Utah Trail toward 29 Palms. 1417 01:20:04,782 --> 01:20:06,421 Turn off at the old water tower. 1418 01:20:06,502 --> 01:20:07,413 You know where that is? 1419 01:20:07,502 --> 01:20:08,333 Not a clue. 1420 01:20:08,422 --> 01:20:09,981 How the hell are we supposed to find that? 1421 01:20:10,342 --> 01:20:11,253 Waze. 1422 01:20:12,582 --> 01:20:13,493 God! 1423 01:20:14,462 --> 01:20:15,373 What the hell is that? 1424 01:20:15,822 --> 01:20:17,256 It's an app. You can download it. 1425 01:20:17,822 --> 01:20:18,733 Really? 1426 01:20:21,662 --> 01:20:23,619 Let's get started. Drive safe. 1427 01:20:25,222 --> 01:20:26,781 I have another confession to make. 1428 01:20:27,542 --> 01:20:28,419 Let 'er rip. 1429 01:20:29,262 --> 01:20:31,094 I was married for 33 years... 1430 01:20:31,742 --> 01:20:33,973 to the first woman I ever fell for. 1431 01:20:34,702 --> 01:20:36,341 She died about six years ago, 1432 01:20:36,422 --> 01:20:37,742 and it put me off my game. 1433 01:20:37,822 --> 01:20:40,735 After three or four years, I felt I should see other women, 1434 01:20:40,822 --> 01:20:42,097 but it didn't feel right. 1435 01:20:43,982 --> 01:20:45,416 You wanna tell Duke about it? 1436 01:20:45,502 --> 01:20:50,019 There's something about Miss Quince that just shook me out of my malaise. 1437 01:20:50,102 --> 01:20:52,094 She's gorgeous, of course, but she's... 1438 01:20:52,422 --> 01:20:53,697 There's nothin' frivolous about her. 1439 01:20:53,782 --> 01:20:56,820 She's a woman of... substance and gravitas. 1440 01:20:57,542 --> 01:20:58,453 Gravitas. 1441 01:21:00,742 --> 01:21:03,098 Put me down, you jackass! 1442 01:21:03,462 --> 01:21:05,738 Where's my dog? Romeo! 1443 01:21:06,142 --> 01:21:07,417 Where's my dog? 1444 01:21:07,942 --> 01:21:10,298 Now doesn't all this sharing make you feel better, huh? 1445 01:21:10,702 --> 01:21:12,580 I could fall in love with her. 1446 01:21:17,862 --> 01:21:20,934 In 0. 1 mile keep left. 1447 01:21:40,142 --> 01:21:42,099 You know, you're always the hero. 1448 01:21:42,942 --> 01:21:45,901 I think I'd like to be heroic sometime. 1449 01:21:52,222 --> 01:21:53,815 How heroic do you wanna be? 1450 01:21:54,782 --> 01:21:55,693 Hm? 1451 01:21:56,422 --> 01:21:57,333 Um... 1452 01:21:58,502 --> 01:21:59,413 Well... 1453 01:21:59,542 --> 01:22:01,579 Uh, you know, just... 1454 01:22:02,542 --> 01:22:04,181 Moderately. Just enough. 1455 01:22:04,822 --> 01:22:06,575 You wanna keep your braggin' rights to the women. 1456 01:22:08,182 --> 01:22:09,901 You know me well. Yeah, huh? 1457 01:22:13,742 --> 01:22:16,496 You think that's an honorable reason to wanna be heroic? 1458 01:22:16,582 --> 01:22:17,493 I do. 1459 01:22:22,742 --> 01:22:23,619 I got a plan. 1460 01:22:23,982 --> 01:22:27,419 You know, you remind me of my mother. 1461 01:22:27,502 --> 01:22:32,338 - That's so sweet. - Yeah. All right. 1462 01:22:33,982 --> 01:22:34,893 All right. 1463 01:22:50,662 --> 01:22:51,891 This is where it begins. 1464 01:23:04,942 --> 01:23:06,296 You all right in there, Suzie? 1465 01:23:06,742 --> 01:23:09,735 - Leo, I'm okay. - I am not armed. 1466 01:23:10,222 --> 01:23:12,339 I am here to give you what you want. 1467 01:23:13,542 --> 01:23:14,771 And to take what I want. 1468 01:23:14,862 --> 01:23:16,182 Hey, stand right there! 1469 01:23:17,302 --> 01:23:18,418 What you got under that hat? 1470 01:23:19,102 --> 01:23:20,092 A little hair. 1471 01:23:20,182 --> 01:23:23,220 Ha! You send me Willy. 1472 01:23:27,942 --> 01:23:30,138 We can work this out to everybody's satisfaction. 1473 01:23:30,502 --> 01:23:32,892 Why don't you put the gun down and we'll talk. 1474 01:23:46,142 --> 01:23:47,212 Give me Duke! 1475 01:23:48,142 --> 01:23:51,772 Damn! You shot my truck and now you're tryin' to shoot my boots! 1476 01:23:51,862 --> 01:23:56,379 You give me Duke or Willy or whatever he calls himself. Now! 1477 01:23:56,502 --> 01:23:58,698 You can have him. I never liked him anyway. 1478 01:24:08,342 --> 01:24:09,253 Oh. 1479 01:24:09,822 --> 01:24:10,733 Ha! 1480 01:24:16,302 --> 01:24:17,452 Oh! That hurts! 1481 01:24:17,902 --> 01:24:20,497 He shot me! 1482 01:24:24,382 --> 01:24:26,214 Bye-bye. 1483 01:24:30,222 --> 01:24:32,373 Christmases seem to blur together. 1484 01:24:32,742 --> 01:24:34,620 You know? This one stands out. 1485 01:24:34,862 --> 01:24:36,057 It's startin' to feel special. 1486 01:24:37,742 --> 01:24:39,381 We're gonna have to call the sheriff now. 1487 01:24:39,502 --> 01:24:42,779 I don't know about you guys, but I sure could use a cocktail. 1488 01:24:42,862 --> 01:24:43,693 Here, here. 1489 01:24:55,222 --> 01:24:58,499 I'm starting to understand the affection you have for this place, 1490 01:24:58,862 --> 01:24:59,852 whoever you are. 1491 01:25:00,582 --> 01:25:02,938 To you, Sweet Willy. 1492 01:25:03,342 --> 01:25:05,698 You did a brave thing today. I didn't think you had it in you. 1493 01:25:05,782 --> 01:25:08,422 - And you saved the day, cousin. - I ain't your cousin. 1494 01:25:08,502 --> 01:25:10,334 Well, but you like me a little, huh? 1495 01:25:13,262 --> 01:25:15,094 A little. 1496 01:25:16,422 --> 01:25:17,378 There goes Rudolph. 1497 01:25:18,062 --> 01:25:22,261 And there goes Snoopy. 1498 01:25:22,342 --> 01:25:23,332 Adios, Snoopy. 1499 01:25:30,102 --> 01:25:32,936 Hey! It's New Year's in New York. Happy New Year, everybody! 1500 01:25:33,022 --> 01:25:34,376 Earlier to bed? 1501 01:25:34,822 --> 01:25:37,940 Uh, with any luck, maybe two balls will drop tonight. 1502 01:25:38,502 --> 01:25:40,539 Girl, you are delusional. 1503 01:25:40,622 --> 01:25:43,694 Hey, I've never seen you guys lookin' so sharp. 1504 01:25:43,782 --> 01:25:47,696 - Or you so beautiful. - To the ladies and ladies. 1505 01:25:50,302 --> 01:25:54,854 Arturo, Miss Quince, I think you know my cronies and their lovely ladies. 1506 01:25:54,942 --> 01:25:57,138 - Of course I do. Happy New Year. - Happy New Year. 1507 01:25:57,222 --> 01:25:58,895 Happy New Year. 1508 01:25:58,982 --> 01:25:59,859 Happy New Year! 1509 01:25:59,942 --> 01:26:02,252 I think it's about midnight in Times Square. 1510 01:26:02,342 --> 01:26:03,253 Oh, yeah! 1511 01:26:05,302 --> 01:26:07,373 Nine o'clock in California is good enough for me. 1512 01:26:08,822 --> 01:26:11,621 At the end of the day, I have to admit, I have a soft spot for Duke. 1513 01:26:11,702 --> 01:26:14,058 Wherever they're relocating him, do you think he's going to be okay? 1514 01:26:14,142 --> 01:26:18,182 My dear, the Duke will always be okay. 1515 01:26:18,262 --> 01:26:19,093 Yeah. 1516 01:26:19,182 --> 01:26:20,298 Strike up the band, boys. 1517 01:26:21,702 --> 01:26:25,093 ♪ May old acquaintance be forgot ♪ 1518 01:26:25,342 --> 01:26:26,617 Ladies and gentlemen of the 1519 01:26:26,702 --> 01:26:28,933 Tropical Resort Retirement Community, 1520 01:26:29,342 --> 01:26:31,493 say hello to your new resident manager, 1521 01:26:32,262 --> 01:26:33,981 Mr. Marvel Bigelow. 1522 01:26:34,062 --> 01:26:35,132 Music! 1523 01:27:18,942 --> 01:27:23,221 ♪ Christmas ♪ 1524 01:27:24,422 --> 01:27:29,178 ♪ Is a very special time of the year ♪ 1525 01:27:30,982 --> 01:27:35,534 ♪ It's a precious time ♪ ♪ And I'm waiting here ♪ 1526 01:27:36,542 --> 01:27:41,856 ♪ Can't wait to get close to you ♪ 1527 01:27:46,062 --> 01:27:49,817 ♪ Christmas ♪ 1528 01:27:50,982 --> 01:27:56,853 ♪ Is a house adorned ♪ ♪ With tinsel and lights ♪ 1529 01:27:57,902 --> 01:28:02,499 ♪ It's a cozy fire and long quiet night ♪ 1530 01:28:03,462 --> 01:28:08,901 ♪ That let me get close to you ♪ 1531 01:28:12,302 --> 01:28:16,342 ♪ No one else, dear, will do ♪ 1532 01:28:16,822 --> 01:28:19,860 ♪ Darling you, only you ♪ 1533 01:28:19,942 --> 01:28:24,858 ♪ Make my holiday list ♪ 1534 01:28:25,982 --> 01:28:29,692 ♪ I can't wait till we've kissed ♪ 1535 01:28:29,782 --> 01:28:32,695 ♪ And then everything that follows ♪ 1536 01:28:32,782 --> 01:28:36,014 ♪ Makes my year every December ♪ 1537 01:28:36,102 --> 01:28:40,460 ♪ Don't forget to remember ♪ 1538 01:28:40,542 --> 01:28:44,172 ♪ That Christmas ♪ 1539 01:28:45,262 --> 01:28:50,291 ♪ Is two lovers strolling home ♪ ♪ In the snow ♪ 1540 01:28:51,502 --> 01:28:56,019 ♪ And then warming up ♪ ♪ The best way they know ♪ 1541 01:28:57,422 --> 01:29:04,420 ♪ Oh, let me get close to you ♪ 1542 01:29:06,542 --> 01:29:10,138 ♪ 'Cause you're all I want for Christmas ♪ 1543 01:29:12,022 --> 01:29:17,575 ♪ And Christmas is here ♪ 1544 01:29:18,305 --> 01:29:24,340 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org 114410

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